


We Fall Together

by Hopeishope



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Drug Abuse, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gun Violence, Hwitae - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jaeseong, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Character Death, Near Death Experiences, Organized Crime, Past Character Death, Physical Abuse, Slow Burn, rochan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2020-01-31 17:30:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 44
Words: 169,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18596053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopeishope/pseuds/Hopeishope
Summary: Youngkyun is just trying to get through school unbothered, but when the most popular guy in school asks for help finding his father, he can’t bring himself to say no. So he agrees to help for the night. But one night turns into weeks, and weeks turns into months. And what should have been a simple missing persons case turns into a system of corruption that affects the lives of thousands.





	1. Cafe Specials

“Get up, Kyun.” 

 

Youngkyun groaned, lazily pulling his arms over his head as if to hide himself. He rolled over, pressing his face further into the pillow as he pulled the blankets as close to his chest as he could.

 

Light flooded into the room behind him, and he settled for just pulling all the blankets over his head at once and burying himself into his sheets. He groaned again to express his distress, closing his eyes tightly to block out the light.

 

“Stop whining and get up,” Chanhee spoke from behind him. Youngkyun was about to protest with another groan until the blankets, clutched tightly in his hands, were ripped away from him at once.

 

Youngkyun groaned louder, pulling the pillow tightly over his head and hugging his arms to his bare chest. The air was a bit cold, and Youngkyun at least wished he had a shirt to keep him from freezing. 

 

“Youngkyun,” Chanhee coaxed, clearly speaking right behind his ear. Youngkyun grimaced, waiting for him to shout loudly just to catch him off guard. He was too lazy, and too cold, to roll over and push the younger boy away. “There’s a special at the cafe today for-”

 

“I’m up, I’m up,” Youngkyun said with a groan, pushing his body up with every force of will he had. He could feel his long hair sticking out in every direction as he tried to blink his eyes open. He used his arms propped up behind him to keep him from falling back in his bed as Chanhee threw a random shirt over his head.

 

“Good, so get dressed. I want to get to the cafe before they run out of the good shit.”

 

“Why is there a special?” Youngkyun questioned, lazily pulling the shirt into his lap and looking at it in disgust. He side eyed Chanhee, disgusted that the boy would think he would go out in something as bland as this. He sighed before tossing the shirt haphazardly to the floor.

 

“Something about it being the middle of autumn. I don’t know,” Chanhee stated, opening the curtains even wider.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and mentally preparing himself to get up and actually be proactive for the day. 

 

“Not much of an event,” Youngkyun said as he pushed himself up, walking over to his closet. He looked at his clothes with little expression, choosing the first uniform he could see, because it wasn’t like he had the energy to come back and change after breakfast. Might as well just leave once in his uniform. “But whatever. Cheap food is cheap food.”

 

“Which is why we’re eating there instead of eating out of vending machines and cheap corner stores like usual,” Chanhee decided.

 

“There’s plenty of other places to eat from,” Youngkyun reminded him, shrugging the white dress shirt over his head. “The sushi place has good reviews, and so does the ramen place.”

 

“Money, money, money,” Chanhee reminded him, tsking as he picked up what he could of their room.

 

“Oh, right. I forgot,” Youngkyun stated, sighing as he pulled his black dress pants on, tucking the shirt into the waistline.

 

“You forgot you lost your job? How asleep are you?”

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Our autumn break is coming up,” he reminded him. “I’m going to my aunt’s for the week and I can’t do that with a new job. I’ll get one after the break. We’ll be fine until then.”

 

Youngkyun closed the door of his closet, turning his body around in front of the mirror to make sure he looked presentable, aside from his unbrushed hair at least. Once he was satisfied, he followed Chanhee into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He reached his hand in front of the boy’s hand to grab his toothbrush and laughed at Chanhee’s face in the mirror.

 

“Plus, lots of kids here don’t have jobs,” Youngkyun reminded his friend, sticking the brush in his mouth.

 

“Those kids all have their parents paying rent for them,” Chanhee retorted, snatching the toothpaste from his hands. “And there are plenty of kids here who  _ do _ have jobs.”

 

Youngkyun shrugged. “If I have to ask my aunt to help out with my rent, I’ll ask her, and then pay her back with interest when I get a new job,” he decided.

 

“Your aunt is already paying your tuition,” Chanhee reminded him, spitting into the sink and rinsing his brush, glaring at Youngkyun through the mirror. “You’re gonna leech off of her more?”

 

“It’s not leeching if I pay her back with interest,” Youngkyun defended. “Plus, I didn’t even want to come to this stupid school. It was her decision, so if I need help with rent she shouldn’t care much.”

 

“What about me?” Chanhee asked with a laugh.

 

Youngkyun shrugged with a smile, rinsing his brush and grabbing the hair brush. “Not my fault if your brother sucked all the money out of the family.”

 

“He did not,” Chanhee defended with a scoff.

 

“Yes he did, and you know it. That’s why he’s on his own now.”

 

Chanhee rolled his eyes, leaving the bathroom with Youngkyun on his tail. Chanhee grabbed the strap of his bag hanging from the back of a chair, swinging it over his shoulders. Youngkyun scoffed again at Chanhee’s silence and grabbed his uniform jacket from the table, hanging it neatly over the bend of his arm. He grabbed the tie, too, shoving it in a small pocket of his bag.

 

“Do you have the money?”

 

“Oh, so I’m paying for breakfast now, too?” Chanhee asked, exasperated.

 

Youngkyun smiled, bumping his shoulder as he walked by him. “I paid full price at the cafe last time.”

 

“You said it was your treat.”

 

“And now it’s  _ your _ treat.”

 

Chanhee gave Youngkyun a blank stare while Youngkyun smiled, gesturing for him to follow out the door. Chanhee rolled his eyes before giving in, grabbing his wallet and shoving it in his back pocket as the two boys left for the cafe.

 

“It’s actually so nice out today,” Youngkyun commented as they left the dorm building. 

 

“Enjoy the weather while it lasts,” Chanhee suggested. “The deals at the cafe only last so long, and soon it won’t even be open some mornings because it’ll be so cold.”

 

“Oh, don’t remind me,” Youngkyun said with an exaggerated shiver of disgust. “I’m fine with the weather as it is. Not too warm, but not too cold. Plus, school during the fall is usually pretty laid back. Everybody generally stops giving shits, so there isn’t as much work or talk.”

 

Chanhee rolled his eyes. “You act like eavesdropping on every student here is your job.”

 

Youngkyun smiled. “I take pride in knowing everybody’s secrets. But during the summer it sucks, because everyone seems so eager to trash talk everybody. It’s so much work keeping up with it all.” 

 

“Yeah, but what about after autumn break?” Chanhee asked with a raised eyebrow, waving to a student who passed them both with a smile on his bike.

 

“What about after break?” Youngkyun asked, confused.

 

“Everybody always has stuff to say after break. This person slept with that person and this person cheated on this person, and he and she and they all and whatever.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, changing the subject quickly as they approached the cafe. They walked in together, smiling at the wonderful scents of autumn the cafe always seemed to master perfectly around this time of year. The whole building smelled like nippy wind and fresh pumpkins, not to mention the beautiful autumn leaves the students decorated the place with every year like a tradition. This place was definitely the most popular place to eat because of the atmosphere of it all.

 

“Oh! Youngkyun!”

 

Youngkyun smiled at the girl behind the counter, Sejung. He knew every name and face on the campus.

 

“Nice to see you again. I didn’t know you started working here.”

 

“My classes start a bit later now, so I have extra time in the morning.” Youngkyun made an ‘ah’ look with his face, nodding as Sejung talked. “Anyways, you two here for breakfast?”

 

“With this special, who isn’t here for breakfast?” Chanhee commented, looking like a kid lost in a toy store as his eyes glazed over the menu above Sejung’s head.

 

“I’ll give you two half the price if you tell me who Jiyeon has been fooling around with,” she offered towards Youngkyun.

 

“Park Jaebeom. How kind of you,” Youngkyun stated with a bitter sweet smile. Chanhee shook his head with a laugh as Sejung thanked him, kindly taking their orders.

 

“I can’t believe you sold your gossip for half the price of a special,” Chanhee commented as they sat down at a cozy table for two in the corner of the room. 

 

“I saved  _ you _ money!” Youngkyun retorted with a laugh. “Plus, plenty of people already knew the two were fooling around, so Sejung would have found out anyways. Why not get even cheaper food because of it?”

 

“Cheers,” Chanhee said, raising his glass of chocolate milk. Youngkyun smiled, raising his glass of water. “So, tell me. What do you think is going to be the big word around campus after break?” Chanhee asked, picking up his fork to dig into his breakfast.

 

“Hmm.” Youngkyun picked up his fork, staring down at his food in thought. “Probably something with Taeyang.”

 

Chanhee rolled his eyes. “Well duh, Taeyang can never stay out of the spotlight. At this point, I’d think he was trying to be the top talk of the school.”

 

Youngkyun nodded in agreement, shoving food into his mouth. 

 

“His sleeping with everybody should be old news, but it’s not,” Youngkyun stated. “So probably something along those lines.”

 

“I heard he hasn’t actually slept with anyone since a few months ago,” Chanhee stated, picking at his food more. “But I assume you know more than just rumors.”

 

“Oh, of course. But the funny thing is- he really hasn’t been sleeping around all that much lately.” Chanhee cocked his eyebrow, and Youngkyun smiled with a roll of his eyes. “Okay, yeah, he’s been making out with every person he lays his eyes on, but he hasn’t been sleeping with them. Except Juho.”

 

Chanhee coughed, staring at Youngkyun with wide eyes. “Baek Juho?!”

 

Youngkyun nodded. “They slept together about a month and a half ago, but it didn’t become huge talk because I guess Taeyang was  _ technically _ with Eunbi at the time. He broke up with her a week later though, so maybe she knew,” he finished with a shrug, stuffing more of his food into his mouth. 

 

The cafe food was really the best, which Youngkyun hated because the cafe was a bit pricey. It was hard to eat here so often when they didn’t have the money to eat out for breakfast every day. Sadly, he would most likely go back to eating bagged chips and cheaply made sandwiches after this. 

 

“I thought Taeyang was the big win of the school though?” Chanhee asked, stabbing his food with his fork again.

 

“He still is,” Youngkyun assured him. “But as the public sex god of the school, he decides who he does and does not want to sleep with. I guess he’s bored of the rest of the school now. Finally.”

 

Chanhee rolled his eyes. “Just admit you’re jealous.”

 

Youngkyun gave Chanhee a deadpan stare. “I would rather die.” He continued to stare blankly at Chanhee as the boy broke out into laughter, trying to hold himself together but failing miserably. 

 

“Sorry, sorry, bad joke, I know.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a shake of his head and focused his attention on his food again.

 

“But you really should get over Taeyang being a bitch to you. It was one time and he had a hot girl on his hip, of course he was in a rush.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes again. Of course, Chanhee wasn’t completely wrong. Then again, Taeyang had done nothing since that incident to make him like him in any way, so there was no reason for him to rescind his dislike for the boy.

 

At the beginning of the year, Youngkyun had been simply minding his own business. All week he had been hearing about this new kid. ‘He’s so hot.’ ‘ He’s so rude.’ ‘He’s so rich.’ ‘He’s so cool.’ He knew all about Yoo Taeyang.

 

So when Taeyang had accidentally bumped into him in the halls, a blonde girl hanging off his side, practically begging for him, he was prepared to just smile and ignore the obvious situation to be nice. But Taeyang had just looked at him, as if waiting for him to move out of the way. The look in his eyes screamed that Taeyang thought he was better than him. 

 

“Are you going to say sorry, or at least move out of my way?” Youngkyun had asked. He wasn’t exactly sure why he had so rudely blurted that out, but he was proud of saying it. Taeyang didn’t have a response, and had simply moved around him. That was the last time he shed any positive thought on the CEO’s son.

 

“When he decides to do anything to make me like him, I’ll consider it,” Youngkyun finally stated, shifting his attention back to his food. 

 

“Whatever,” Chanhee said, also moving back to his food. “But when we get back from break, and you have to hear all about Taeyang and whatever he decides to do, try not to spread the info with bias, okay?”

 

“I don’t intend on spreading the info,” Youngkyun decided, picking up his glass. “Unless someone offers me money. I love selling information for free food!”

 

↔

 

Youngkyun sighed, tapping his ring finger harshly against the surface of the desk. His leg bounced up and down under the desk and his eyes darted back and forth between the teacher and the clock. Five more minutes.

 

Overall, today had been a very boring day. Youngkyun thought that, maybe, with the nice weather and the cafe special, that today would be an extraordinarily good day, or at least have something interesting to offer him. But no, it was just a day more boring than the average.

 

Instead of paying attention to his lessons, Youngkyun focused on his situation with Chanhee. Together their rent was about eight hundred thousand won, but Youngkyun only had that much in general. He had been using his money on food and school books, so he didn’t exactly have much to contribute to the rent. Chanhee was still working, so he could pay a majority of it, but it felt unfair to make him pay the full rent for the month. 

 

Youngkyun let his forehead fall to the desk with a stifled sigh. He was going to get a job, but he would have to wait about two weeks just for break. Overall, it would be about another month before he got another paycheck if he waited, which was ridiculously unfair to Chanhee. 

 

Like he said earlier, he could ask his aunt. He really didn’t want to though. He preferred to talk to her as little as he needed to, and he felt like she would only think even less of him if he asked for extra money. It would be a while before he could pay it back, too. It was really unfair.

 

It wasn’t his fault he was attending some stupid on-campus private high school. It wasn’t like it was his decision to have to pay rent at his age anyways.

 

Youngkyun’s head shot up as the bell rang. He didn’t spare a single second before grabbing his bag and making his way towards the door. He skipped down the steps, moving to get out before the other students could clog up the doorways and halls. 

 

Once he was outside of the math building, he looked around for a quiet place to talk. It was easy enough to find them because he knew where they all were, but he just wasn’t sure which places were empty at the moment and which weren’t. He settled for a corner of some dorm building with all closed windows. It seemed mostly vacant, so Youngkyun figured it would be an okay place to make a phone call.

 

Once at the corner, he dropped his bag from his shoulders, leaning back against the wall and taking a deep breath. All he had to do was type in the number, it wasn’t that hard. It was just a number. His aunt would be fine. She could understand, right? Or would she just hang up on him? Would she even give him the money if he asked? 

 

Youngkyun closed his eyes, resting the back of his head against the wall and fighting back any unnecessary tears. God, why was he crying? It was just his aunt. All he had to do was tell the truth, and he would be fine.

 

“Auntie, I lost my job and I need a bit of help paying my half of the rent this month,” he whispered to himself, testing out the words. “No, no. Uhm, hello aunt- auntie! No…” Youngkyun bit down on his lip, grimacing at the pain of both his lip and the situation. It sucked. He didn’t want to ask for money, but he wasn’t really seeing another option. He wasn’t going to make Chanhee pay more than half of it on his own.

 

“Okay, okay, I can do this.” Youngkyun looked down at his phone, watching the keypad stare at him, taunting him. Ten numbers, that’s all he had to press in. Yet his hands didn’t move. He just stared at the keypad open on his phone and watched the blank screen.

 

“I don’t have a choice,” Youngkyun whispered to himself. “Just- just call the number, Youngkyun.”

 

He took a deep breath, moving his hand towards the screen.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Youngkyun’s fingers moved to the power button on his phone, shutting it off and shoving the device in his pocket as his head whipped up to the voice.

 

Standing a good distance in front of him, ruffled jacket and red faced, was none other than Yoo Taeyang. He stood, no bag on his shoulders, and no cocky smile on his face, in the grass in front of the dorm building Youngkyun had been leaning against. 

 

“You’re Kim Youngkyun, right?”


	2. Thanks... and sorry

“You’re Kim Youngkyun, right?”

 

“No.” 

 

Youngkyun bent down, grabbing the strap of his bag and slinging it across his back and onto his shoulder. He checked to make sure his phone was safely tucked in his pocket-it was- and pushed himself away from the wall. He began walking away, making sure he wouldn’t have to pass by Taeyang too closely, when the boy called out his name again.

 

“I heard you say it when you were talking to yourself.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Has anyone ever told you it’s rude to eavesdrop?” Youngkyun bit his tongue after speaking, knowing how hypocritical it was of him to say that, but he didn’t take back his words. 

 

“I just want to talk, please?”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, bending his neck and letting his eyes stare up at the darkening sky. What was he doing?

 

“You have four minutes,” Youngkyun decided against his own mind, walking back over to the wall and motioning for Taeyang to come over. He didn’t drop his bag again, but rather waited for Taeyang to come to his side and say what he needed to say. “What do you want?” he asked once the boy was by his side.

 

“I need help.”

 

“That’s very broad. Help with what?”

 

“My father is missing.” 

 

Youngkyun raised his eyebrows at Taeyang, letting his eyes drift down to the grass as he thought. Mr. Yoo was one of the most popular and famous CEOs in all of Korea. How could he be missing without anyone knowing?

 

“He probably just got caught up in some business. He’ll call back when he’s free,” Youngkyun suggested, but the look in Taeyang’s eyes told him he was wrong. The boy didn’t look cocky, or like life was a joke to him, for once. He looked desperate.

 

“He’s been missing for three days now. He doesn’t have his phone, and nobody has been in contact with him.”

 

“S- so ask your guards, or- or the people that work for your dad. Call the police. I’m sure they’ll find him.”

 

“I did,” Taeyang told him, taking a step towards him. “I asked everybody, but they either told me they’re looking into it or not to bother myself with it. It’s weird. Nobody is telling me anything, and I don’t know what to do.”

 

“The-then why- why are you coming to me about this?” Youngkyun asked, biting on the inside of his cheek. “I- I’m not the police! I can’t just track down missing people!”

 

“Everyone in school says you’re the best at finding out everything. They say you know everything about everyone.”

 

“That’s very limited to within this school,” Youngkyun informed him, taking a step back. “I’m sorry, but I’m not the person to help you find him. Call the police, or someone that  _ can _ help you. I’m sure you’ll find him.”

 

“You had to have found out everything somehow,” Taeyang called after him as he turned to leave. Youngkyun felt his feet freeze as he bit down on his lip. “You didn’t just magically know everybody’s secrets. You knew who to talk to, and where to listen. You know how to eavesdrop and how to avoid getting caught. That’s why I’m asking you for help.”

 

Youngkyun closed his eyes tightly, willing him to just walk away or leave, even though he knew it was wrong. “I’m sorry, but I- I can’t. I can’t help you find a missing person. The police will help you- just-”

 

“The police told me to stay out of it.”

 

Youngkyun turned around, meeting Taeyang’s eyes. He looked pained and vulnerable, which Youngkyun hated. Why did he have to get dragged into stupid shit like this? He couldn’t help the boy, he knew that much. Sure, he knew how to get information, but finding a missing person was something else. And if the police were in on it, then how was he supposed to help?

 

“I- just. Maybe start by looking into records of your father’s last meetings. Look into those first, and contact those people. That’s all I can give you for advice, I’m sorry,” Youngkyun said with a shallow bow before spinning on his heel to get away. He didn’t want to feel anymore guilty for not being able to help than he already was.

 

“I’ll pay you!” 

 

Youngkyun hated how his steps faltered. He hated how Taeyang knew he needed money, and he hated how he even considered helping when he knew he wasn’t capable of it. 

 

“Why don’t you call a real investigator if you’re willing to pay, then?” Youngkyun asked over his shoulder. 

 

“I don’t trust people I can hire.”

 

“By paying me you would be hiring me,” Youngkyun stated, making sure to not turn his body more than he needed to.

 

“But I know you don’t sell out just for money. I know you don’t switch sides when you’re offered something better. Any investigator I hire could do that behind my back easily.”

 

“You’re wrong,” Youngkyun contradicted. “Sejung, at the cafe, offered me half the price for food today for information and I gave it to her immediately.”

 

“But you didn’t.”

 

“Yes I did!” Youngkyun argued, turning around to face Taeyang again. “I sell information for money and favors, that’s what I do! How do you know I wouldn’t sell out anything you find if I was offered more money!”

 

“Because Jiyeon and Jaebeom are eloping before the end of the year. You knew how serious they were, but you didn’t tell Sejung that. You’re one of the few people who knows about their planes, and you could have told Sejung but you didn’t.”

 

Youngkyun cursed himself in his mind, crossing his arms across his chest. “How did you know about that?”

 

“Because I know Jaebeom, just like you do. You sell information you think is appropriate to sell. I trust you more than I would ever trust a stranger.”

 

“I am a stranger!” Youngkyun yelled, walking up to Taeyang and getting in his face. “You don’t know me! I’m sorry about your dad, I really am, but I’m not somebody who can help you!”

 

“I’ll give you one million won, right now, if you just agree to help me find anything. All you have to do is say you’ll help me and I’ll give you a million won. Please.”

 

Youngkyun bit down on his lip, avoiding eye contact with the boy in front of him. 

 

“I’m about to pay a visit to my father’s last confirmed location, but I don’t know how to get information out of people or what questions to ask. All you have to do is make an effort and the money is yours.”

 

One million won could cover his half of the rent for three months and buy him enough meals to not starve. He needed the money, lord knows he needed the money, but he had a guilty conscious even thinking about taking it. He could just ask his aunt and it would be fine. He didn’t need to attempt something he couldn’t do for money when he could just be responsible and ask. But then again… he didn’t want to ask for the money. If he asked this month, it meant he would probably need to ask next month too, unless he wanted Chanhee paying for his food for a month. Helping Taeyang meant he wouldn’t have to burden anyone. Helping Taeyang meant a chance of helping someone, and getting almost four times the benefits than burdening others. 

 

“Please?” Taeyang asked again, tilting his head to the side, eyes shinning with a sad puppy look under the fading sky.

 

Youngkyun closed his eyes, biting down on his lip and trying to convince his brain not to agree, but his mind already seemed made up.

 

“Just for tonight,” Youngkyun clarified. “I’ll help you find something tonight, but then I’m done helping.”

 

“Okay, okay. That’s fine, thank you,” Taeyang agreed, the corners of his lips lifting in an appreciative smile as he reached into the pocket of his jacket. He pulled out a clip of money, reaching forward for Youngkyun’s hands and placing it gently into them. 

 

Youngkyun was so shocked, he thought he momentarily forgot how to move. There was so much money just sitting in his hands, that Taeyang just gave away to him and he hadn’t even done anything. 

 

“Let’s go. I’ll drive.”

 

↔

 

To say Youngkyun was uncomfortable was a large understatement. The most uncomfortable thing was the car. Taeyang’s car radiated the money he spent on it, and Youngkyun felt wrong just sitting in it. The car looked freshly painted and even smelled expensive. He barely even wanted to let his shoes touch the carpet. Taeyang also, not surprisingly, liked to drive insanely fast, which only added to Youngkyun’s raised heartbeat. Not to mention, he had one million won just sitting in the back pocket of his backpack. It was hidden, stuffed under his books and folders, so it was unlikely anyone would see it or know it was there; but just knowing he had that much money on him at once, especially since he did nothing to earn it, ate away at his conscience. 

 

Then there was Chanhee. The boy had sent him several texts, lighting up his phone which, thankfully, was on silent. Youngkyun felt awkward looking at his phone while Taeyang was driving, so he hadn’t even responded to his friend. He just turned the phone off and shoved it in his bag with the money.

 

“What do you know about your dad so far?” Youngkyun asked quietly, trying to not only figure out what he was supposed to do, but to break the silence as well.

 

“I know everybody is pretending he isn't missing. The cops are obviously tipped to be quiet, and everybody is just pretending it’s all normal. I don’t know if I can trust anyone that works for my dad.”

 

“Who have you asked?” Youngkyun asked, moving around in his seat to make himself more comfortable, although he knew his current state of mind had nothing to do with how he sat. He looked over to Taeyang to see his eyes trained on the road ahead of him, but a raised eyebrow clearly directed at him. “I mean, how do you know? Like, is it just a hunch or…”

 

“I told a lot of people about my concern,” Taeyang stated, looking past Youngkyun, through the passenger side window, and speeding to the right with no blinker. Youngkyun didn’t realize he was holding onto the material of the seat in fear of Taeyang’s driving until the boy took a breath to speak again. “Nobody seemed worried. If your CEO went missing for three days straight, wouldn’t you be concerned?”

 

“I- I don’t- I don’t know. I don’t run a company- hey, can you, maybe, not kill me before we even get to there?” Youngkyun asked, biting down on his lip as he tried to even his breaths.

 

“I swear I’m usually a better driver,” Taeyang defended. 

 

“You drive a sports car on the regular. No way you are usually a better driver.”

 

Taeyang scoffed, taking a hard turn and laughing at the fearful expression on Youngkyun’s face before straightening out the wheel. “That was on purpose.”

 

“I think you’re having too much fun scaring me.”

 

Taeyang shrugged, looking to Youngkyun briefly before flicking his blinker on, like he was demonstrating how well he could drive if he chose to be a good driver.

 

“My point is, I have asked company workers, but only a few have told me they would look into it, or have looked concerned in the slightest. But after about a day, those people also told me not to worry. I called the cops, but they haven’t done much. Like, my dad is a famous CEO. You’d think people would be doing a lot more to help.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, shifting his gaze between the road ahead of them and Taeyang as he talked. “That  _ is _ weird, no doubt. So what do you think happened? What are your theories? Was he into drugs? Was he on somebody’s bad side? Was he suicidal?”

 

“My father was not suicidal,” Taeyang bit back, but in a lighthearted mood, adding a light scoff to the end of his statement. “I joked about jumping off the company building’s roof to avoid a chemistry test one time and I think I almost got grounded.”

 

Youngkyun tried his best to hold back his laugh, but his mouth curved into a smile and a snort beat its way through him. “Sorry, sorry, I don’t mean to laugh.”

 

“It’s okay,” Taeyang said with a lighthearted shrug, pushing down on the gas just a tad bit more to make the yellow light. “I’m laughing. Humor makes situations like this not seem as bad as they could be. Also, I haven’t really had someone to joke with in a few days, so it’s nice. And I think it’s calming me down a bit.”

 

“If you keep trying to run red lights you won’t have me around to calm you down for much longer,” Youngkyun commented, trying to back up farther against the back of his seat like he would be able to magically escape to a safer vehicle. “But what about drugs? Any enemies?”

 

Taeyang pouted, shaking his head. “He was a really good guy. Everybody at work seemed to love him. He paid them well, gave them good benefits, and he was always so understanding about family issues or other situations. He did his best to be the nicest boss he could be.”

 

“Okay, now I’m really confused. It has to be an accident, then, right? His disappearance? I mean, maybe he had a bit too much to drink, or maybe… I don’t know. But his has to be accidental, right? You make him sound like a nice guy.”

 

Taeyang sighed, pulling the car into a tight turn as he swung into a parking lot. “I hope so.” Taeyang put the car into park, switching off the headlights and turning to Youngkyun. 

 

“Is this where your father was last seen?” Youngkyun asked, curiously looking between Taeyang and the building. The parking lot was mostly empty, save for a few cars that most likely belonged to employees. The lights were still on in the building, and people were clearly walking around inside. 

 

Taeyang nodded, looking over to the building. “This is a suit tailor shop that has worked for my family for a long time. They make our company suits, and I don’t think I’ve ever worn a suit outside of school that didn’t come from them.”

 

“So they’re close to your family?” Youngkyun asked, raising and eyebrow. “Does that mean you think you can trust them? Have you tried to speak with them at all yet?”

 

Taeyang shook his head. “The thing is, most company employees don’t know my dad came here, but a few nights ago when I called him, he said he was leaving to get a new suit. He told me to expect ‘big things’, but I never heard from him after that. I don’t know how many people actually know he came here, but I know for certain he did.”

 

“What if he lied?”

 

“There’s one way to find out,” Taeyang stated with a shrug, opening his door. Youngkyun followed him, pulling himself out of the car and closing the door lightly. For some reason, slamming the door to a sports car shut felt wrong. 

 

Youngkyun stayed a few steps behind Taeyang, letting him take the lead as they walked up to the doors. In his mind, this was going to be easy. All he had to do to earn the money was pay attention, and he was good at that. 

 

“Hello!” Taeyang announced with a smile as they walked in, raising his hand to wave at the employees. There didn’t seem to be any customers in the store at the time, which made people watching easier for Youngkyun. 

 

There was a girl with her hair pinned back behind the counter. She barely looked at Taeyang before returning to her work, so Youngkyun guessed she was knew at the place and didn’t necessarily serve the Yoo family. There was another man in the corner fixing the coats on the racks, but he didn’t even turn his head. It must have been because of the easily spotted headphone wires traveling up from the collar of his shirt to his ears. Youngkyun didn’t bother wasting much of his attention on him.

 

“Taeyang! How have you been?” a man asked, walking up to Taeyang and wrapping his arms around him in a quick hug. He smiled at Taeyang with fox like eyes and looked to Youngkyun next. “Oh, hello! Are you like Taeyang’s new assistant?” he asked innocently.

 

“This is my friend, Youngkyun,” Taeyang introduced. Youngkyun was going to bow to the man in front of him out of respect, but the man just ended up pulling him into a surprising hug. Youngkyun really wasn’t sure what to do with himself, so he just moved his hands to awkwardly pat at the man’s back.

 

“Where are my manners?” the man asked himself with a goofy smile. “My name is Kim Inseong. It’s very nice to meet you, Youngkyun.” Youngkyun smiled at him with a curt nod, while Inseong turned his attention back to Taeyang. “What can I do for you?”

 

Taeyang risked a quick glance down to Youngkyun, and he didn’t waste a second before clearing his throat.

 

“We were wondering about Mr. Yoo’s visit here a few days ago,” Youngkyun admitted honestly. Youngkyun wasn’t quite sure whether it was better to lie to this man or not. Inseong seemed like a very nice person, and Taeyang seemed to trust him. Unlike what Taeyang had claimed, this boy didn’t seem to be hiding anything. If anything, he was strangely open.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Inseong said with a bright smile. “A new suit order, he sent you to pick it up? How rude,” Inseong said with a roll of his eyes, gesturing with his hand for them to follow him over to the counter. Taeyang didn’t hesitate to follow him, while Youngkyun let his eyes wander around the room.

 

The place was very nice, he had to admit. Everything was fancy, like it was meant for people like Taeyang and not people like him. He continued to let his eyes wander until they fell upon the man by the racks of suits. Upon making eye contact, the man turned his gaze away. He was very clearly aware and paying attention by how quickly he returned to his work. Youngkyun made a mental note that the man most likely wasn’t playing music as he followed up behind Taeyang, returning his visual attention to Inseong.

 

“By any chance,” Youngkyun started, leaning in a bit closer. He really had to word this good, because he didn’t want the man in the corner catching onto anything he probably wasn’t supposed to hear, just in case. “Do you know why Mr. Yoo would want a new suit?” Inseong raised an eyebrow at him, so he continued. “It’s just because, well, I know Taeyang had an event with him coming up, but we were both aware they would be getting their suits together,” he tried to clear up, moving his foot to hit Taeyang’s leg.

 

“Yeah, I was just hoping this suit wasn’t for that event. I didn’t want to ask him, though, because he seemed like he had some personal business going on,” Taeyang followed up easily. “I really wanted to get matching suits together this time.”

 

Inseong snorted, grabbing the suit from off the rack. “Nah, sorry Tae. I have no idea why he wanted the suit. He was definitely confident about it, though. He was so specific. Like, no offense, but usually your father tells us to make a pretty suit that’ll make him look nice and that’s that, but this time he was specific with colors, labels, pockets, and everything. He was going for a specific look.”

 

“And what would that look be?” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head. 

 

Inseong shrugged. “My guess is eye catching. I mean, he definitely wasn’t going for a presidential, boring blue tone suit, or a grey. Look at this thing,” Inseong said, gently lifting the plastic bag to show the suit. “Black and dark red velvet. This suit is beyond fancy. Like, dress someone like this at the Grammys and they win fashion of the year type fancy.”

 

“I think that’s enough.”

 

Youngkyun bit the inside of his cheek as the man from the corner came up, earbuds no longer visible anywhere. He stood beside Inseong, towering over him by a few feet. Now that Youngkyun could see him better, he could see his thin jawline, and the light scruff he had. His expressions where strong, and his eyes were dark but serious. Youngkyun didn't really like anything about the way he looked. He almost wanted to shiver just standing near him like this.

 

“What?” Inseong asked with a confused laugh.

 

“I said, I think that’s enough,” the man repeated, glaring down at Inseong.

 

Youngkyun was about to interject, but Inseong seemed to back off. His head sunk into his shoulders and his whole being seemed to shrink. With a nod, he pulled the plastic bag back over the suit and smoothed it out over the counter. 

 

“Sorry, but I think I have some work in the backroom to do,” Inseong stated with a sad smile. “If you need me, you have my number,” he said to Taeyang, walking around the counter for one last hug. “It was good to see you again, Tae. And nice to meet you Youngkyun. I hope I see you both around here again soon.” 

 

Inseong didn’t look back again before rushing into the back rooms, hands firmly by his side. Youngkyun watched him go carefully before turning to the man. He didn’t have a name tag on, and Youngkyun wasn’t about to ask for his name. 

 

“We’ll just take the suit,” Youngkyun said softly, nodding his head towards the suit meant for Mr. Yoo.

 

Taeyang paid for the suit quickly, asking Youngkyun to help him carry it out to the car. They did so quickly, not wasting any time before shoving the suit in the back of the car like some wrinkled laundry. 

 

“I trust Inseong,” Youngkyun decided, closing the door as he fell into the passenger seat. “He seems like a good person, but I don’t think he knows much. However, you said those guys all work for FNC?” Taeyang nodded. “It’s weird. The police won’t do anything, and neither will FNC employees. It’s too weird,” Youngkyun admitted. 

 

↔

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t really help much,” Youngkyun told him again as he closed the door of the car. Taeyang closed his shortly afterwards, walking up to the sidewalk in front of the dorm building they were currently parked in front of.

 

Taeyang shook his head. “I’m sorry for asking you to do so much. I know it was a lot, not to mention that I kind of guilted you into it, a bit.”

 

Youngkyun shook his head, reaching behind him for his bag, but Taeyang’s hand reaching out stopped him. 

 

“What?” he asked, confused as he dropped his hand slightly.

 

“Don’t give me back the money.”

 

“Taeyang, I didn’t help you, like, at all. You got no information and it seems like people are iffy of you now, which isn’t great. Don’t just give me the-”

 

“The deal was, I give you one million won if you try, and you knew something was up when we walked in. You lied so they wouldn’t get more suspicious of me, and I’d call that trying. So you can keep the money.”

 

“This is a lot of money for- Taeyang, don’t you dare walk away,” Youngkyun threatened as Taeyang started backing up towards the car. “Taeyang, get back here!”

 

“Sorry, can’t hear you,” Taeyang said with a smile, opening the door to the passenger seat behind him. “Too busy ignoring your stupid demands.” Without another word, Taeyang dived into the passenger’s seat, crawling over to the driver’s seat.

 

“Taeyang don’t you dare leave without this money,” Youngkyun threatened, pulling his bag off of his shoulders to get the clip. 

 

“Thanks for helping today, Youngkyun. Also, thanks for making me laugh and calming me down a bit. I know you didn’t want to help, but I’m glad you did.”

 

Youngkyun didn’t realize he had frozen, his lips slightly parted, until he saw the closed zipper of his bag, lying on the ground. He looked from the bag, back up to Taeyang, when the boy gave him a smile before reaching over, grabbing the handle of the passenger side door and shutting it, starting the engine and driving off.

 

“T- thanks. And... sorry.”


	3. Tick Tock

“Where the hell were you?!” Chanhee asked as Youngkyun walked in, exhausted beyond belief. 

 

“Uh, I don’t think I can answer that question,” Youngkyun replied bluntly as he tossed his bag onto the ground, falling face first into his bed. 

 

“You were gone all night,” Chanhee pointed out. Youngkyun sighed, sticking his fingers into his pocket to feel the clip, just sitting there. It wasn’t right.

 

A lot of things just weren’t right recently. For one, Youngkyun didn’t feel quite right. Since when did he help people like Taeyang just for some extra money? It wasn’t like him to do something like that, and yet he did it. And it made him feel dirty. And then there was the whole thing going on with Taeyang’s father that was weird. And really, it was none of Youngkyun’s business, but then again, Taeyang had asked him for help, so it was, in a way, his business now. To be honest, though, Youngkyun felt bad for Taeyang. His father seemed like a good person from what he heard and now he was gone under mysterious circumstances. 

 

So maybe Youngkyun felt even worse for taking the money, because he knew he didn’t deserve it. He had done virtually nothing Taeyang couldn’t have done on his own. He wanted to curse himself out for taking the money after not being able to help. Taeyang had basically given him one million won for doing absolutely nothing but causing more trouble.

 

“Chanhee, I want to meet with Jaeyoon.”

 

“What? Why all of the sudden?” Chanhee asked, sitting up from where he had flopped down in his bed.

 

“I need information.”

 

Youngkyun could basically hear Chanhee rolling his eyes, but he chose to ignore it as best he could. 

 

“What information could my brother’s drug dealer  _ possibly _ have that you don’t already? And what’s in your pocket?”

 

“There’s nothing in my pocket,” Youngkyun defended quickly, rolling onto his side to block the pocket completely from view. 

 

“Well now you’re just lying.”

 

“There’s nothing in my pocket,” Youngkyun repeated, moving his hand towards it. He jumped up quickly as Chanhee reached around him, slipping his fingers into the pocket and pulling the clip out with it. He pushed himself against the wall, dropping the clip of money between the wall and his bed. Chanhee pushed him back, looking from his empty pocket to him, clearly unconvinced. “It was just my hand,” he lied, holding up both of his empty hands as Chanhee sat back, legs bent underneath him and hands folded in his lap in a tired stance.

 

“Why do you want to meet with Jaeyoon? Really?”

 

“Like I said, I need information. Can we go tomorrow night?” Youngkyun asked, pleading, almost. “I really, really, owe someone.”

 

“Why don’t you just sell them the information you already have?” Chanhee asked, confused. The boy pushed himself up with his hands, only to let himself lean back against the wall, his legs crossing over each other. He kept his eyes toward Youngkyun, though, still awaiting his answer.

 

“The information they want isn’t something I have,” Youngkyun explained carefully, doing his best not to give anything away. Really, the last thing he wanted Chanhee knowing was how bad of a job he did trying to help Taeyang, and how he got paid for it. He didn’t even want Chanhee to know he had spent all that time with Taeyang, because then the boy would just make fun of him. 

 

“If I call Jaeyoon, will you tell me everything?”

 

Youngkyun bit the inside of his cheek. “Ca-can I just say eventually?” After all, it would be pretty hard to explain where he suddenly got all the money from unless he told the truth. But he didn’t want to tell the truth now. He wasn’t quite sure why, but the fact that he didn’t do much felt like he screwed up. He was given one job and he barely did anything. He would tell Chanhee when he could tell him proudly.

 

“Fine. Meet me after last class.”

 

“Okay. Thanks Chanhee.”

 

↔

 

“I’m just saying,” Chanhee argued, hand up in defense, “If a nuclear apocalypse ever happened, and the McDonald's down the street was the only place with edible food left, I would rather starve.” 

 

Youngkyun snorted, covering his mouth as he bent over in hysterics. “It’s not that bad! They have some okay fries.”

 

“Their fries are like under cooked worms,” Chanhee bit back, shaking his head.

 

“I don’t think worms are meant to be cooked,” Youngkyun argued, trying his best to keep his laugh under control, but his face was strained trying to keep it in.

 

“Still. Under cooked. Garbage. Unacceptable. I’ll die before I ever eat their fries again.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Youngkyun allowed, moving his hand to push a loose strand of hair away from his face, “but what about the cafeteria food from middle school?”

 

“This is the worse this or that scenario you have ever given me, and I’m filing for a divorce.”

 

Youngkyun couldn’t keep it in this time, bending over in hysterics as his eyes watered from laughter. He physically had to stop walking just to catch his breath as Chanhee patted his back like a baby.

 

“But what about the children?” Youngkyun asked dramatically before curling over in laughter again.

 

“Okay, okay, my turn-”

 

“No! No, no, no, no!” Youngkyun yelled, pointing to Chanhee accusingly. “McDonald's fries or middle school cafeteria food?! You haven’t answered yet!”

 

“McDonald's fries, but only because I would have a heart attack after two days and I wouldn’t have to suffer through it anymore.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a laugh, gesturing for them to hurry over to the bus stop where the bus was arriving. They boarded quickly, scanning their bus cards and choosing two seats in the back. The bus was mostly empty, but the few people that were on sat in the front. Youngkyun really didn’t mind. He had no intentions of listening in on more conversations than he needed to tonight.

 

“My turn,” Chanhee decided, shifting in his seat to face Youngkyun more. “Taeyang or me?”

 

“In-in what sense? Why does this feel like a trap?”

 

“Banging, obviously.”

 

“Chanhee,” Youngkyun started, placing an endearing hand on Chanhee’s shoulder. “We have talked about this before. I would never bang you.”

 

Chanhee nodded with a smile. “So are you, Kim Youngkyun, saying you would voluntarily smash Yoo Taeyang?”

 

“I knew this was a trap,” Youngkyun commented, turning to face straight ahead in his seat. “How long do I have to make my decision?” Youngkyun asked, biting on his lip as he hoped Chanhee would just kind of forget about the question at some point in the future.

 

“I’ll be nice and give you 24 hours to answer.”

 

“Fantastic. Then how many McDonald's fries do I have to eat before my time is up?”

 

“I don’t know,” Chanhee said with a shrug. “How long is this meeting with Jaeyoon going to take?”

 

“Well,” Youngkyun stated with a smile. “I actually will most likely have somewhere to go after he tells me what I need to know.”

 

“Great,” Chanhee said with a smile, popping his shoulders up. “Where are we going?”

 

“ _ I _ am going to a drug den. You? Well, you can go wherever you want to go, just not the drug den with me.” Youngkyun smiled, reaching up to pat Chanhee on the head. “I would never let you enter a drug den. Go home after this and re-watch Big Hero 6 with some popcorn.”

 

“This, along with where you were last night,  _ will _ be explained.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, my turn. Dirty lake water or unpasteurized milk?”

 

↔

 

Jaeyoon looked about as intimidating as anyone would expect a drug dealer to be. Granted, in Youngkyun’s mind, drug dealers were required to have a certain aura about themselves. If one looked too soft, he would get mugged or robbed. If one looked too tough, it was possible they wouldn’t get approached as often. Jaeyoon was right on that line. He had black hair, highlighted so perfectly with purple that his hair just seemed to glow with the undertone. The side of his head was shaven, his hair swept up on the side while his eyebrow was shaven in a line. He wore a leather jacket and a silver (real silver, not that fake crap in jewelry stores) chain hanging from his belt loops. His black shoes shone like they were freshly bought, and in his hand was a small wooden stick. It didn’t have much of a purpose, but to Youngkyun, it made him look more mysterious. He was also pretty sure Jaeyoon occasionally used the stick to smack people who didn’t listen to him. He knew it was just for the boy to play with, however. He liked to keep busy.

 

“Woah, Jaeyoon, you picked the perfect spot,” Youngkyun applauded, referring to the steam rising up from the pipes behind him, making him seem even more daunting and dangerous. It was a dark alley, after all, and it was late now, because the bus ride and walk here had taken a bit longer than expected. “You look like a real tough guy.”

 

“I got no idea what you’re talking about, Kyun,” Jaeyoon said, his cheeky smile peeking out and contradicting him, however. “I just naturally look this cool.”

 

“Oh, I never said you looked cool,” Youngkyun pointed out, admitting to himself, but promising to never say it out loud, that Jaeyoon did look pretty cool.

 

“I always look cool,” the boy defended, scoffing afterwards. “How you been?”

 

“Good. School sucks, but you know that.” 

 

Jaeyoon laughed, dusting his hands together and holding them up, clean and done with the whole issue. “What about you, my baby boy? How have you been, Chanhee? You don’t text me anymore.”

 

Chanhee groaned as Jaeyoon hooked his arm around his neck, pulling him in for an unwanted, brotherly like hug. Jaeyoon really did take on a brotherly like roll to his friend, and it made Youngkyun glad. Someone had too.

 

“I don’t text because you’re usually high on something,” Chanhee choked out, pushing Jaeyoon away from him roughly and smoothing his hands over his hair with a glare.

 

“And there’s nothing wrong with that!” Jaeyoon argued. “Makes for better conversations. But I’m clean now, I promise,” Jaeyoon said, holding out his pinky. Chanhee shoved it away with a scoff.

 

“Clean for the hour.”

 

“I started cutting back!” the boy argued. “I have great self control and I mean it. Clean for the past two days! Saw some of the boys at work cutting the drugs and, eh, really not into that shit. Kinda scared me. So, I get my drugs organically now, only! And less often. Who are you to scold me?”

 

Chanhee laughed, nudging the boy with his arm while Jaeyoon gaped at the courage of Chanhee to say such a thing.

 

“So, personally, I love hanging around in dark alley ways for hours at a time, but what are we here for today? I refuse to give you drugs,” Jaeyoon said, pointing to Chanhee at the end of his statement.

 

“Oh, so you’d give them to Kyun?” Chanhee argued.

 

“Kyun would just sell them for a higher price. He’s no fun like that.” Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a laugh. “Plus, if Kyun was ever looking for drugs, they would probably be the rarest and most difficult to find drugs ever.”

 

Youngkyun didn’t even have a defense because it was absolutely something he would do. 

 

“I actually had some questions-”

 

“I didn’t sleep with anyone’s mom, I swear.” Both Chanhee and Youngkyun went silent at his confession, looking between each other in confusion before looking back to Jaeyoon. “I’m not even into that.”

 

“I’m afraid to ask why someone would think you would be,” Chanhee said slowly, looking at Jaeyoon with his lips pulled back

 

“I got accused of that by one of my clients the other day. I think it’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever been accused of, and I’ve been accused of a lot.”

 

“Well good thing I wasn’t going to ask about that,” Youngkyun with a scoff mixed into a laugh while Jaeyoon nodded, giving him his attention again. “I actually wanted to know the location of FNC’s drug cartel.”

 

“Ha, what? Lol FNC doesn’t have a drug cartel.”

 

“Did you just say lol out loud?”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Jaeyoon, you literally work for FNC’s drug cartel.”

 

“Okay, but that fact that it’s under FNC is private information. Literally nobody should know that,” Jaeyoon explained, and Youngkyun shrugged. 

 

“I know someone in the cartel. Long story short, I need to pay them a visit, but I don’t have their number and I want a private meeting. I also need to see the cartel.”

 

“Kyun, why?” Chanhee asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. “All of the sudden…”

 

“Okay, well I’m not actually supposed to give you that information,” Jaeyoon stated with an apologetic smile. He shrugged, “I know you like to sell info and if that ever became public… oh, really bad things.”

 

“Pinky promise I have no interest in selling this particular information. After all, I knew about the cartel in the first place, didn’t I?” Youngkyun asked, holding out his pinky and shaking it temptingly in front of Jaeyoon.

 

Jaeyoon seemed to look between his pinky and his eyes for a moment, debating whether he should tell him the information or not. He bit on his lip lightly, pulling at it, as Youngkyun continued to shake his pinky.

 

“Fine,” Jaeyoon grumbled, pulling a crinkled paper out of his pocket and a pen from the inside of his boot. He pressed the paper up against the side of the closest building, smoothing it messily over the bricks and scribbling down the address. “But you can’t tell anyone I gave you this. Nothing gets traced back to me, got it?”

 

Youngkyun nodded, taking the messy paper from him with a smile. “Got it. Also, one more question.” Jaeyoon tilted his head, waiting. “What’s the secret knock to get in?”

 

↔

 

It didn’t seem to take long to get to the location Jaeyoon had written down for him, but maybe that was because Youngkyun spent the majority of the bus ride just staring out the window in thought. In reality, the whole ride was probably about a half an hour, with all the stops in between. Plus, there was a bit of traffic in the area. 

 

In that time, Youngkyun began to think. Why was he doing this?

 

Youngkyun was about to walk into a literal drug den to get information, when he could have just as easily taken the money and left it as it was. So why was he going to such lengths? Certainly his life wasn’t worth a measly one million won.

 

But then again, Taeyang’s face when he had asked him for help kept popping into his mind. The boy, who he had always perceived as careless and rich, and nothing more, had looked completely lost. And when he had nothing else, he had come to Youngkyun, a boy he didn’t even know. How sad was that?

 

Taeyang literally didn’t have a single other person to talk to about this. He said it himself, everyone around him couldn’t be trusted. But apparently, Taeyang didn’t trust many people at school either, otherwise he would have asked them. From what Youngkyun knew, which was a lot, Taeyang was popular. He could have asked anyone he wanted, but he chose a boy he didn’t know until most likely that day or the day before. He chose Youngkyun… because he had nobody else to go to.

 

So maybe that’s why Youngkyun was going to these lengths, because Taeyang had chosen him. The boy didn’t have anyone else to trust, and so he trusted a random stranger, which wasn’t even the worse part now that Youngkyun thought about it. The worse part was that Taeyang paid him. Taeyang didn’t think he would do it unless he was offered money, and he was absolutely right. Youngkyun was ready to walk away until that moment, and that was the hook, wasn’t it? Taeyang couldn’t trust the people around him, all paid by his father, and he couldn’t trust investigators, who would sell out to the highest bidder, and yet he still paid Youngkyun to help him. Nobody would help him unless he paid, and even then, they were more likely to sell him out.

 

Why was it like that? It was so cruel in Youngkyun’s mind that Taeyang didn’t have one person to trust. He had to resort to money as he always did. Hell, even Youngkyun made people pay him, or at least give him benefits, when he sold out other people’s secrets. Everything was so based on what people could gain from others’ misfortune. So why was Youngkyun sitting here, assuming after he helped Taeyang out, just a bit, that someone else would step forward in his place? They wouldn’t. Nobody would. Taeyang would have to approach them, and he already did that. And he chose Youngkyun.

 

When the bus pulled itself to a stop, Youngkyun reached to the back of the seat in front of him to pull himself up, smiling at the bus driver, though he gave no emotion back, as he got off at his stop. He shoved his hands in his pockets, absorbing the cooler air of the autumn night as he walked down the sidewalks, hiding in the shadows of the buildings which towered over him. 

 

His heart beat picked up as he approached the door at the exact location Jaeyoon had lead him to. Just a door. Just a nice, friendly, door, with nobody behind it who would kill him if they knew he was lying. 

 

He cleared his throat, raising his fist, and knocked. He took care to knock in the exact pattern Jaeyoon had taught him, before backing up and waiting patiently for the door to open.

 

It only took a few seconds, two rough looking men looking at him from behind the frame of the door.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“I’m the new drug mule,” Youngkyun lied, holding up his empty duffel, which he had simply taken off the streets on the trip here. 

 

“I don’t remember hearing about a new drug mule,” the other guy contributed. 

 

“I just went out on my first trip today,” he lied again, adding a small, innocent tone to his voice paired with a gentle smile. “Jaejoong sent me out saying he would tell the guys at the door, did he not-”

 

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t know Joong sent you out personally,” the guy said, moving to the side to let Youngkyun through and pushing the other guy to follow his lead. “Name?”

 

Youngkyun made sure not to grimace outwardly. “Hwiyoung.”

 

To be frank, the inside of the cartel smelt like ass. The whole environment also felt like ass. Not only did he have his freshly stolen duffel ripped from his hands, he also had to remove his shirt and jacket so they could be searched for smuggled drugs, which was procedure, he guessed. So now Youngkyun was just walking around a drug cartel, shirtless, with his hair screaming at him for letting him infect it with that much greasy air, if that even made sense. There was dirty smoke lining the rims of the ceiling in almost every room and everything smelt like weed stuffed up somebody’s ass. He was glad he would never be coming here, ever again.

 

“Joong don’t often meet with mules,” one of the guys informed him. 

 

“You’re welcome to ask him,” Youngkyun said with a shrug. “I get it if ya don’t believe me. Go’n ask him.” Youngkyun wanted to rip his hair out by the roots forcing himself to speak in contractions. It wasn’t like him at all, but he really wasn’t trying to look too prim and proper for a drug cartel.

 

“Nah, we got no business arguin’ with what Joong says.” 

 

Youngkyun nodded proudly at that statement as the men led him to Jaejoong’s office. It was a dirty door, stained with whatever, Youngkyun didn’t want to know. But honestly it had to be the cleanest door in the entire place, and he was certainly hoping it would be the cleanest office. Maybe he would be able to breathe in there.

 

He moved his hand forward, knocking gently, but firmly. 

 

“Who?”

 

“Hwiyoung.”

 

The door opened pretty quickly, revealing a wide eyed Jaejoong, who, honestly, wasn’t looking too hot. The man, shirtless, of course, had gained a bit of pudge since he’d last seen him. Youngkyun wondered if it was because of the drugs. But he had stubble lining his face and circles under his eyes which Youngkyun assumed were a natural feature on his face at this point. His shoulders were kind of slumped, that mediocre posture from his childhood was completely gone, replaced with what could resemble a light back issue. But his eyes were still the same color, not faded, so there was that.

 

“Uh, Hwiyoung, yeah, come in.”

 

Youngkyun tried to smile, letting himself in and letting Jaejoong close the door behind him. The best part about the office was the freedom of air that felt like it came right from a McDonald's frialator, but the bad part was that the entire room smelled like fresh weed.

 

Youngkyun look the liberty to plop down on Jaejoong’s crappy office couch, cringing as soon as he did, because a cloud of what was probably every drug imaginable in a dried and powdered form puffed up like a cloud around his face. He coughed, waving it all away with is hand.

 

“Do you want a mask?”

 

“Why? To make it even harder to breath in here? No, thanks.”

 

“Youngkyun, what are you doing?!” Jaejoong asked, reaching up to his thinning hair with wide eyes. “Why are you here?! How did you even get in here?!”

 

Youngkyun sighed, sinking deeper into the couch. “I don’t have your number anymore,” he stated blandly.

 

“Youngkyun, I know you blocked me after I sent you to your aunts, you don’t have to lie. But you understand why I did, right? I work at a fucking drug cartel, you couldn’t stay with me.”

 

“I didn’t want to anyways,” Youngkyun said, waving his hands to clear the air in both an ambiguous and physical sense. “But I had no other way of contacting you so-”

 

“There were plenty of other ways. You didn’t need to come here.”

 

“No, I did,” Youngkyun admitted. “I know for a fact there are no cameras or microphones in this room because you’re paranoid. And if there were, you would be the only one with access to them.”

 

“Don’t you dare ask for drugs,” Jaejoong threatened. “I’ll kick your ass if you ask for drugs.”

 

Youngkyun snorted, moving his arm up on the shitty arm rest. “Well good thing I wasn’t going to ask for drugs.”

 

“Then why are you here? It’s been years.”

 

“You still owe me a favor.”

 

Jaejoong rolled his eyes, pacing in a circle. “You expect me to believe you came all the way here to use that favor? I offered it to you when you were seven and told you emergencies only and you told me, at the age of seven, mind you, to stuff it up my ass.”

 

Youngkyun snorted again, moving his hand to cover his mouth. “Okay, but after a few months-”

 

“ _ Years _ .”

 

“Yes, years. After a few years, you offered it to me again. You said if I ever needed help you would help me once. That was the deal.”

 

Jaejoong shook his head, pointing his finger at Youngkyun. “And eight years ago you told me you would never use it!”

 

“Technically I’m not using it for myself,” Youngkyun argued.

 

“Figures.”

 

“You promised!”

 

“Yes, and it’s been a long ass time. Don’t you have an actual emergency you could use this for?” 

 

“No, I’m dramatic and like to handle my problems on my own,” Youngkyun admitted with a smile and crinkled eyes. “But, like I said, this isn’t technically  _ my _ problem, so I require assistance.”

 

Jaejoong shook his head, moving his hand to his forehead like he was fighting back a headache, which he probably was at this point.

 

“Don’t make me guilt you into it,” Youngkyun threatened. “I’m not above that.”

 

“I’m shocked you haven’t thrown it in my face just to make me feel guilty all these years.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Would you just help me? Please? You help me, I leave, and we most likely never have to talk again.”

 

The room fell silent at Youngkyun’s proposal until Jaejoong sighed, and it was heavy with regret. His hand floated to his forehead again, rubbing at his temple.

 

“You shouldn’t be here,” Jaejoong mumbled under his breath.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “You were fine giving my dad drugs but you won’t even let me-” Youngkyun stopped, closing his eyes and trying to calm himself down without breathing in too much. “You gave my dad those drugs. The least you could do is give me a goddamn favor.”

 

“You’re a stubborn brat you know that?”

 

Youngkyun bit down on his lip. “Who raised me to be that way?” he finally asked, looking up to meet Jaejoong’s eyes.

 

Jaejoong took a step back, reeling himself in before jabbing an accusing finger at Youngkyun. “I took care of you!”

 

“You had me illegally working to sell drugs when I was barely ten just to make you some extra money,” Youngkyun threw out. “I remember being slapped across the face for touching your drugs even though you left them out with a nine year old in the house! I thought it was actual fucking food, and I was starving because you didn’t know the definition of real food. You actually treated me like shit as a kid, and I think you owe it to me to tell me just a couple of things so I can help my friend out. I have never asked anything else of you.”

 

Jaejoong sighed again, running his hand down his face. 

 

“You were one bitchy kid back then, and you haven’t changed much,” he pointed out with a sense of annoyance to his voice.

 

Youngkyun shrugged. “I think I have my rights. So are you going to help me or not?”

 

Jaejoong’s hands flew up in defeat, clapping down at his sides. “What do you want? Money? A car? A house?”

 

“I want information,” Youngkyun stated without looking up, keeping his eyes focused on his folded hands in front of him. “And it would be stupid of me to assume you could afford to give me any of those things anyways.”

 

“Okay smartass. But what information?”

 

“What happened to the CEO of FNC? Mr. Yoo. What happened to him?” 

 

After a few moments of silence, Youngkyun looked up to Jaejoong to see him still and pale, clearly caught off guard. Youngkyun shrugged, looking from Jaejoong back to his hands. 

 

“Why are you looking into that?” Jaejoong asked hesitantly.

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Ah, so you met Taeyang.”

 

Youngkyun scoffed, no laugh in his voice. “I asked you a goddamn question. Can you give me an answer so I can leave faster?” 

 

“Don’t pretend you’re in charge here,” Jaejoong said in a threatening voice, and Youngkyun tried not to squirm in his seat. 

 

Youngkyun did his best to ignore the terrible feeling in his chest, pushing himself to lean forward, his elbows on his knees, hands folded in the middle. “I want to know where he was last seen, who he was last seen talking to, how he had been acting this past month, anything off about him, and anything else you know about where he is, or what happened to him. I want to know everything.”

 

“Why do you assume I would know all of this?”

 

Youngkyun scoffed at this, looking off to his right in amusement before scoffing again, but this time with a laugh. Soon he wasn’t even mad, he was just laughing out of pure amusement.

 

“I learned to tell when people were lying by the time I was eight. I learned how to listen in on what people said by the time I was nine. When you shipped me off to my aunts I was basically a miniature spy. You taught me everything I know about finding secrets, and now I know every person and every secret in the entire school. You have hundreds of people working under you who all respect you for some unfathomable reason. If anyone knows anything, it’s you; or maybe your people do. And whatever you or they know, I want to know too, because I know you know something.”

 

Jaejoong sighed again, but this time, when he ran his hands through his hair, he seemed to be overcome by whatever anger he had. He scratched at his scalp, mumbling useless words under his breath. Maybe he was mad that Youngkyun had won, or maybe he was just that miserable.

 

“Jeong Insik.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Jeong Insik was the last guy he talked with. He was some reporter for a big shot news outlet before he got fired for looking too much into something. I don’t know. The guy was a loser. He always just sat in his own filth of an apartment and sulked over his lost career.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes at the hypocrisy of that statement. “Where did they meet? When?”

 

“I don’t know when,” Jaejoong admitted with a shake of his head. “They were seen near Insik’s apartment though. It’s somewhere in Itaewon, the bad part of it-”

 

“ _ Where  _ in Itaewon?”

 

“Damn, Youngkyun. I don’t fucking know!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

 

Youngkyun raised his eyebrows at him. “Then you should find someone who does. What did they talk about?”

 

“Don’t know what they talked about. Rumor says Yoo met with him a lot the month before he went missing. Apparently, they called each other a lot too, like they were old pals or something.”

 

“Did they knew each other beforehand?”

 

“I don’t fucking know. I’m not their mom,” Jaejoong answered bitterly. “But the last place he was seen was in Itaewon, so thugs probably got the best of him.”

 

“Thugs,” Youngkyun commented with a scoff. “I don’t want your opinions or your bias. I want what you know and have heard. And I want Insik’s number if you can get it. I want to know what family he has, alive and dead. I want a map of Itaewon with not only Insik’s apartment marked, but every location Mr. Yoo has been seen. Mark the location of his last sighting as well. I want the names and addresses of any other people you know of who were suspiciously in contact with him as well. Some time tonight you can stop by my school and drop everything off for me.”

 

“I’m not your fucking maid, Youngkyun.”

 

“Tonight,” Youngkyun repeated. “After this, I’ll forget how much of a shit parenting job you did,” Youngkyun stated. “And we never have to talk again. But you’re going to do all of this before midnight, got it?”

 

Jaejoong rolled his eyes before nodding, looking beyond irritated, but Youngkyun had lost his patience and care shortly after sitting down. 

 

“I was never a parent before. I wasn’t supposed to ever be, so I didn’t know how to be a parent to you,” Jaejoong admitted quietly. “Your dad was a good parent, but I wasn’t him.”

 

“That’s right,” Youngkyun stated with a nod. “You’re not my dad, and you never will be.”

 

Youngkyun pushed himself up, moving towards the door when he spun around, hand up in the air for Jaejoong to pause. “Taeyang isn’t looking into his father,” he stated, staring at him with no emotion.

 

The man just scoffed. “Yeah right, and I’m not your uncle. You know what? Whatever,” Jaejoong decided, stepping up to him, getting in his space and almost making Youngkyun take a step back. “You never came here tonight. Do you understand?”

 

Youngkyun bit on his lip, hating how he shrunk the second Jaejoong spoke to him like that. “I under-”

 

“Repeat it, Hwiyoung.”

 

Youngkyun closed his eyes tightly, grimacing as his teeth dug into his lips. “I never came here tonight,” he repeated quietly. Once Jaejoong didn’t respond, Youngkyun pushed past him, not even bothering to look him in the eyes. “I look forward to checking my mailbox tonight,” he managed to get out, hand frozen on the door handle. “Tick tock.”


	4. Partner In Crime

Youngkyun realized a long time ago he didn’t have to go as far as he was. Nobody asked him to write notes in the margins of the map, and nobody asked him to color code the dots with phones numbers and other information attached. Yet, here he was, a small, dim lamp shining a faded orange glow upon his desk where he organized files, folding them into small envelopes and marking the important details. He had his laptop open on the darkest setting as he searched through maps of Itaewon and cross checked phone numbers and other facts he was given which were possible to check. He had one earphone in his ear, playing soft piano music as his other kept track of Chanhee’s breathing. It was comforting to know the boy was still asleep as he worked to put everything together for Taeyang.

 

Honestly, Youngkyun wasn’t sure he could tell Chanhee about what he had been doing. It wasn’t that Youngkyun didn’t trust Chanhee. If anything, he trusted Chanhee more than anyone else in the world; but Chanhee was human, and Youngkyun didn’t trust humans. He found it hard to trust anyone besides himself, and so he thought, as he worked, of what he could possibly say to Chanhee tomorrow when he knew the boy would ask.

 

If Chanhee were to tell someone, or let on that him and Taeyang had been looking into his father’s disappearance, it was becoming clear that there would be consequences. Taeyang had even said himself how little he trusted the people around him. If Chanhee told anyone about this, what would happen to him? If this was really as serious as Taeyang played it up to be, did he really want Chanhee being dragged into it?

 

Many secrets weren’t Youngkyun’s to tell, and it was hypocritical of him to think this, but Taeyang’s secret wasn’t his to tell. Unlike everybody else’s secrets, Taeyang could get in serious trouble if anyone found out. Other people would get in trouble with their partners or their parents; Taeyang would get in trouble with company executives, and maybe even the police. It was different, too, because he didn’t do anything wrong.

 

Unlike he had thought those many months ago when Taeyang had been all cocky with a woman on his side, the boy wasn’t an asshole. Taeyang, like almost everyone else in the world, put on a face that wasn’t his own. His face was strong, but he had his own personality as everyone does. Youngkyun didn’t mind helping him like this, because he wasn’t who he had thought he was.

 

Youngkyun scoffed to himself, letting the corners of his lips curve in slight amusement as he creased the edge of another paper, neatly sliding it into the envelope. 

 

It was ironic. Youngkyun thought he knew everything about everyone in school, but it turned out the person he thought he knew the most about, he actually knew the least about.

 

Youngkyun scoffed again as he sealed the envelope, reaching to the ground where he had a small shoe box filled with small envelopes. Maybe he was paranoid, but he refused to let those documents just sit openly in a cardboard box displayed for everyone to see. 

 

Youngkyun pulled the box into his lap, reaching onto his desk and taking the new envelope, placing it neatly with the others. Then he reached over to his left, hesitating for only a second, curling his fingers around the paper. With one hand, he angled all the envelopes in the box up so he could reach underneath them, and with the other, he tucked the clip of money, untouched, into the box with the papers and envelopes. And he taped the box shut.

 

↔

 

Youngkyun thought it was funny how many smaller study rooms the school had, and how many of them either remained empty or were used for anything but studying. One of the rooms, one of the ones nearest to the main section of the library, was used for some club for the “social rejects.” He was pretty sure the club had something to do with a game, and it sounded pretty cool to him. One of the other rooms had a green screen in it the administrators still had yet to find, and then the room at the very end of the hallway always had people with messy hair and sweat rolling down their foreheads coming out. He never ever went near that room.

 

Youngkyun smiled to himself, counting the doors until he reached the seventh one. He opened the door slowly, peeking his head inside. There were several empty desks, not as much as to fill a classroom, but enough for there to be more than two students in there at a time. 

 

Youngkyun watched Taeyang’s eyes rise to meet his own, going wide with shock. The kid beside him, Taemin, also looked up, raising an eyebrow to Taeyang who was still watching him with shock.

 

“Hello, Taemin,” he greeted with a smile. “Can you give Taeyang and I some privacy?” he asked, tilting his head to the side with a taunting smile. The boy pouted, looking to Taeyang, who just nodded, before pushing his chair out and moving quickly to the door. “Oh, and Taemin,” Youngkyun called again, right as the boy had reached for the handle. “Tell anyone I’m meeting Taeyang and I’ll tell everyone what you’re doing with Jinhwan.”

 

“No problem,” Taemin squeaked out before bolting out the door, letting it close behind him.

 

Youngkyun snorted, giving Taeyang a short smile before pulling the chair across from him out and falling into it. “So, were you actually working on a…” Youngkyun trailed off, looking over to the papers in front of the other boy, “math project, or were you just trying to get in his pants?”

 

Taeyang seemed confused for a second, furrowing his brows before realization dawned on him. “O- oh, yeah,” he said with an awkward laugh. “No. Math project.”

 

Youngkyun thought his reaction was a bit weird, but he just shrugged, reaching for his bag. 

 

“Okay, you’re killing me,” Taeyang admitted as Youngkyun opened the biggest pocket of his bag. “Why did you come? I figured you wouldn’t want anything to do with me after the day before yesterday,” he admitted, sighing in confusion.

 

Youngkyun just smiled at him, pulling the box smoothly into his lap. “Well, the thing is, I felt kind of guilty about taking the money from you,” he admitted. “You shouldn’t have to pay people just for trying to help you, people should just help you.” Youngkyun moved the box onto the surface of the table, sliding it over to Taeyang with a smile.

 

“What’s this?” Taeyang asked cautiously, reaching up to pull the tape away.

 

“I cashed in a favor.”

 

“That does not tell me what this is. Why did you-” Taeyang stopped talking as he lifted the lid to the box, sending a confused look toward Youngkyun as his eyes drifted across the envelopes.

 

“That’s everything I could find about your father. His last known location, contact, and business is in there. There are a few phone numbers you might have to look into, and a map of all the places he went the weeks before.”

 

Youngkyun didn’t realize he had started staring into his lap until he wondered why the room had gone silent. He looked up to find Taeyang watching him, eyes glazed over with tears, and his mouth open in shock. A small tear slide onto his cheek as he just sat there, staring at Youngkyun like that.

 

Honestly, Youngkyun had no idea what to do now. He had really not expected Taeyang to cry and he had no fucking idea what to do now. Was he supposed to go over there and like… hug him? No, that was weird. Was he supposed to say something? He really had no clue, so he just forced his eyes down to the table like he could ignore it.

 

“Please don’t cry, I don’t know how to handle that,” Youngkyun mumbled as he entwined his fingers together in his lap.

 

“I don’t even know what to say,” Taeyang choked out, lifting his hand to wipe at his eyes. “I- I didn’t- I really-”

 

“You don’t really have to say anything,” Youngkyun offered with a light shrug. “You can just-”

 

Suddenly Youngkyun was lifted out of his chair, strong arms holding him to Taeyang’s chest as the boy’s head fell to his shoulder. Youngkyun’s eyes went wide, his hands shakily coming around Taeyang’s back, but not touching him. Youngkyun wasn’t sure whether he should hug back. Youngkyun wasn’t even sure if he  _ could _ hug back.

 

“Oh,” was all he managed to say. “Uhm. Okay,” he tried again, letting his hands finally fall to Taeyang’s back in what was probably the most awkward hug, on his part, in all of Taeyang’s life.

 

“Sorry,” Taeyang mumbled, pulling back with a sniffle, eyes still filled with tears. “I just- you did all this and- thank you so much Youngkyun. I really don’t even have the words to tell you how thankful I am.”

 

“It’s what the people around you  _ should  _ have done for you,” he retorted with a shrug.

 

“Why did you do this much?” Taeyang asked, stretching his hand toward the box. He let his fingers trace over the edge before falling to the first envelope, just admiring it.

 

“You needed help,” Youngkyun admitted honestly. “Nobody was helping you and you were in a shitty spot. And, also, you asked me for help. I didn’t think you’d ask many other people, and even if you did, I didn’t know if they’d help you.”

 

Youngkyun watched as Taeyang reached into the box, focusing in eyes on something at the bottom. Youngkyun took a step back with a small smile.

 

“Youngkyun, you-”

 

“I didn’t help you because of the money,” Youngkyun stated, taking another step back. “I helped you because you needed help, like everyone else should have. I don’t want you to think people will only help you if you offer them money, because that’s fucked up.”

 

“Please, even after all this? Just take-”

 

Youngkyun smiled, exposing his teeth to the boy and cutting him off. Taeyang held the clip of money in his outstretched hand, but he just held it out like that, waiting for Youngkyun to accept it.

 

“Sorry I couldn’t help sooner,” Youngkyun said, letting his smile soften. “I hope that’s enough to help you now, at least.”

 

Taeyang smiled, like he had been defeated and knew it. Slowly, he let his hand drop, fingers barely holding onto the clip. “Thank you, Youngkyun.”

 

“Good luck,” he said sweetly, before turning to the door and walking out. It wasn’t until he made it outside the library that he pressed his back against the wall, coaxing his heart to a steadier beat and breathing, one breath at a time. 

 

He didn’t think giving the information to Taeyang would be easy, but for some reason, it felt harder than he knew it turned out to be. It was almost like, as he backed up towards the door, he wanted to sit down and stay. He knew he had wanted to, but Youngkyun really didn’t want to admit it. When he had pulled that empty box out from under his bed, he had made himself a promise. Youngkyun knew he had a habit of getting involved in everything, so he promised himself, no matter how much he wanted to stay and learn everything Taeyang knew about it, he would say goodbye to the subject and leave. This wasn’t his business anymore.

 

Youngkyun let his head fall against the wall behind him as he closed his eyes, feeling his heartbeat pounding through his ears. 

 

Why did it seem like so much more than he thought, though? Youngkyun had done nothing more than give the boy a box and hug him, and yet he felt like he was on the verge of having a heart attack. Was it how he had left the subject, or maybe how Taeyang had looked so thankful? Maybe he felt guilty about leaving him after giving him the hope of someone finally being there to help him, but Youngkyun refused to get involved again. The situation was tough enough as it was for Taeyang, and Youngkyun really didn’t need to get involved in that. It was fine. Everything was fine. 

 

↔

 

Youngkyun sighed, pressing his palm to his forehead as he pushed open the door to his dorm. He had completely forgotten about his promise to tell Chanhee everything until a few minutes ago as he walked into the building. 

 

He closed the door behind him with a small headache forming behind his eyes, probably out of stress. He swung his bag off his shoulder and onto the floor by the door before shrugging off his uniform jacket, tossing it onto the floor carelessly as well.

 

“Uhm, Youngkyun?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll pick it up later,” he replied, rubbing at his tired eyes. The sky had turned shades of orange and pink on his walk home, physically tiring his eyes. Even now, the orange glow streamed in through the windows, more or less giving his bed a spotlight. In his defense, he hadn’t had the best of sleep in, what, three nights now? He lost track. That was one perk of leaving the situation to Taeyang: he would finally be able to sleep again.

 

“What? Oh, the jacket? Who the fuck cares? It’s a jacket. What are you-” Chanhee’s words were cut off as Youngkyun fell into his bed, groaning as he curled himself into a ball with his shoes still on. He made only a small effort to kick them off. 

 

“I just wanna sleep,” he mumbled into the sheets, pulling his arms around himself for warmth. “I wanna… nap time.”

 

“Uh, no,” Chanhee decided, taking a seat on his bed, opposite of Youngkyun’s. “You have some explaining to do first.”

 

“Nap first. Talk later,” Youngkyun mumbled, feeling his mind slowly succumb to the drowsiness.

 

“Did you already talk to your aunt?” Chanhee asked suddenly.

 

Youngkyun shook his head. “Rent isn’t due until tomorrow night. Just let me take a quick nap, and I’ll call her tonight,” Youngkyun decided. “I was gonna call her couple days ago but- no, yeah that didn’t.”

 

“Why are you so tired?” Chanhee asked, kicking his leg out to shake Youngkyun. He just groaned and pushed himself farther away from the other boy, hugging the blankets to his body and trying to force the distractions away. He just wanted to sleep.

 

“Sleepy,” was all Youngkyun could manage to mumble.

 

“Okay, sleepy, then, if you haven’t talked to your aunt yet, why did you pay for rent?”

 

Youngkyun shook his head lazily. “Didn’t.”

 

“Did,” Chanhee argued, grabbing onto Youngkyun’s arm and pulling him into a sitting position. “You paid for rent already- Youngkyun! Wake up!”

 

“Leave me alone,” Youngkyun whined. “It’s been a long week. Can’t we figure out whatever it is later?”

 

“Whatever it is?”

 

“I don’t think I was really listening.”

 

Chanhee had his hands dug into Youngkyun’s hair pretty quickly, pulling him up and dragging him across the dorm as Youngkyun whined and complained. Every time Youngkyun screamed about Chanhee pulling his hair, Chanhee only pulled harder, but that didn’t stop him from screaming about it.

 

He didn’t even have a second to prepare before his head was shoved into the empty sink and cold water started rushing over his head and down his neck. Youngkyun screamed, swatting Chanhee away as he ripped his head away, cursing as the back of his head hit the faucet. He whipped his hands up to his cold head, putting pressure on the back of it and glaring at Chanhee.

 

“What the fuck?!”

 

“I said wake up,” Chanhee defended with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

 

Youngkyun glared at him again before leaning towards the boy, shaking his head like a wet dog while Chanhee screamed, using his foot to push him away.

 

“Bad dog!”

 

“Why the fuck can’t I nap? What’s so important?” Youngkyun asked bitterly, swiping a towel from the small kitchen counter and rubbing it into his hair to dry it.

 

“You paid our rent!”

 

“I absolutely did not,” Youngkyun defended, throwing the towel at Chanhee. 

 

“Well someone did!” Chanhee stated. “And you don’t have that many friends.”

 

“What do you mean?” Youngkyun asked, swatting the towel to the floor as Chanhee threw it back at him. 

 

“I mean both halves of our rent are paid for this month  _ and _ next month!”

 

“What? That’s literally not possible. My aunt doesn’t know yet, and Jaejoong would never do that.”

 

Chanhee scoffed. “Your uncle doesn’t have the money to even if he wanted to. But you haven’t spoke to him in a while, so why would he even come to mind?”

 

Youngkyun shrugged. “Went to see him yesterday at the drug den, remember?”

 

“You went to see your uncle?!”

 

“I went to see  _ Jaejoong _ ,” Youngkyun clarified. “He barely counts as my uncle.”

 

“Okay, whatever. But if he didn’t pay our rent, who did?”

 

“Are you sure there wasn’t just an error?” Youngkyun asked, moving his hair to wipe away a drop of water dripping down his forehead from his, still, wet hair.

 

“I’m positive.”

 

Honestly, Youngkyun was sure he was still too tired to solve another mystery today. Even after Chanhee dunking him, his mind couldn’t seem to wrap around the idea that someone would pay his rent for him. Who even knew? Obviously it wasn’t someone on Chanhee’s side, because he was fine paying his half of the rent. He hadn’t asked his aunt yet, he hadn’t told Jaejoong, and Taeyang had only-

 

Taeyang had only overheard his pep talk to himself as he readied himself to call his aunt. Taeyang had only offered him money and seen that he clearly needed it. Taeyang had only felt bad earlier today when Youngkyun gave the money back.

 

Youngkyun sighed in his realization, pressing his hand against his forehead. Taeyang had paid for his rent. Of course he had.

 

“I forgot I have to meet with someone,” Youngkyun stated suddenly with a sigh, moving toward the door when Chanhee stepped in front of him.

 

“Woah, woah, woah. What the hell, man?” Chanhee asked, arm out to stop him from passing the boy. “Do you know who paid for our rent?”

 

Youngkyun sighed, becoming frustrated with the situation. He didn’t want to tell Chanhee about Taeyang’s father and get him involved, but there was literally no other way to tell the story. With a loud, frustrated groan, Youngkyun ran his hands up to his hair, grabbing it and pulling at the roots. Everything was becoming so difficult!

 

“Kyun! Hey!”

 

“I told you I need to meet someone,” Youngkyun stated, composing himself as if he didn’t just break apart momentarily. He reached his hands up, straightening out his shirt, before motioning his chin towards the door.

 

“Yeah, me, right now,” Chanhee stated, reaching out with his arm to grab the small chair by the door. He pulled it over with a little struggle, determined not to move from Youngkyun’s path. He situated the chair in front of himself and pointed at it.

 

“I’m not sitting in the chair.”

 

“Oh, you wanna fucking bet? Sit in the chair, Kyun.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his head, deflating as he fell down into the chair, eyeing the door. Taeyang would most likely be going to meet Insik soon, so that meant he wouldn’t be at his dorm for long, if he was even still there. Youngkyun really didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to call the boy out for this, either.

 

“Where did you go two nights ago? What are you hiding from me? What was in your pocket before? And don’t even lie, I know there was something in your pocket. Also, who paid for our rent? Who’s your sugar daddy?”

 

“Slow down!” Youngkyun yelled, looking to the door again. “It hasn’t been 48 hours yet. I said I would tell you within 48 hours, and I will, but I still have time,” he said, making up his words as he went. He only had a few hours left, and there was no way he was going to come up with any good excuse within that time. 

 

“What was in your pocket?”

 

“I’ll explain that today, I swear.”

 

“Who are you going to meet?”

 

“Someone.”

 

“Is it related?”

 

“I don’t know,” Youngkyun stated with a shrug, hoping Chanhee bought it. He wasn’t sure what excuse he was going to make up yet, so he didn’t want to give too much away now and trap himself in a corner. 

 

“Yes, you do,” Chanhee observed, stepping closer.

 

“I’ll explain,” Youngkyun promised, looking to the door again. “But I really have to go meet someone now.” 

 

Youngkyun stood up quickly, leaning forward to kiss Chanhee on the cheek quickly. When the boy screamed, wiping away at his cheek, Youngkyun took his chance, bolting out the door with nothing more than a quick smile.

 

Now, Youngkyun wasn’t a huge fan of running. He hated running, to be honest. But Taeyang’s dorm wasn’t incredibly far from his own, so he decided to just run the distance and hope he didn’t die on the way there. 

 

The sky finally turned one of its final shades of dark blue when Youngkyun reached Taeyang’s dorm, running up the stairs, and pounding on the door the second he saw it.

 

“Taeyang, open the door!” he called. 

 

“It’s open. Come on in,” Taeyang called from the other side.

 

Youngkyun sighed in relief, pushing down on the handle and swinging the door open. Honestly, Taeyang’s dorm was a lot different than Youngkyun had pictured it, not that he thought about that in his free time or anything, it just wasn’t what he had expected. In Youngkyun’s mind, Taeyang was surrounded by expensive things and sports cars. That was his public image, after all. So seeing his dorm room, expecting it to be a representation of a privileged life, and being so completely wrong, was shocking. The room was outfitted with a dark colored carpet and light green walls. His bed was a simple single, fitted with dark blue sheets and matching window drapes. His desk was messy, covered in papers, string, tape, markers, and pins, but somehow, it suited him. The room seemed oddly comfortable for a rich boy, yet it felt so much like Taeyang.

 

“Can you close the door?” Taeyang asked. Youngkyun looked up to see Taeyang, facing the wall, sticky note pressed against the wall and a sharpie in his hand. He wore black skinny jeans and a soft colored tan sweatshirt. His blonde hair, usually styled up, was also set down, fluffy and most likely freshly showered.

 

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Youngkyun stuttered, moving his arm behind him to close the door quietly. He turned his attention back to Taeyang, observing what he had done with his wall. 

 

He had printed a map of Seoul. It was blown up, obviously, and there were more pins and red dots around Itaewon than anywhere else. There were strings tied to the pins, leading off the map to notes scribbled on papers, pictures taped to the wall, and sticky notes everywhere with the smallest of details. Most of the information was stuff Youngkyun had given to him, but there were other notes and additions as well, it seemed.

 

“What are you- no, you know what? I don’t care. Why did you pay for my rent?” Youngkyun asked, forcing himself to focus on anything but what Taeyang was working on. 

 

The boy shrugged with the sharpie cap sticking out from between his teeth, continuing to finish his note, before capping the marker and turning his full attention to Youngkyun.

 

“You used a big favor for me,” Taeyang said simply. “I thought I could at least do a small favor for you.”

 

“It wasn’t a big favor I used,” Youngkyun claimed.

 

Taeyang shook his head, tossing the sharpie on the desk and reaching for a paper. “You can’t tell me getting this much information wasn’t a huge favor. Nothing you can say will make me believe you.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes as Taeyang reached for the tape dispenser, ripping off a small piece of tape and moving back to the wall. “I never asked you to pay our rent, though. And now Chanhee’s mad because I won’t tell him anything.”

 

“Chanhee’s your roommate?” Taeyang asked, attaching the paper to the wall and turning back to Youngkyun with a small tilt to his head.

 

“Yeah, he’s my best friend, too.”

 

“Then why haven’t you told him the truth?” Taeyang asked, genuinely looking confused. Then he smirked, taking a step toward Youngkyun. “Are you embarrassed to tell him you’re friends with me?” he asked with a smirk.

 

“That grin is disgusting,” Youngkyun said, trying his best not to laugh as he stepped around the boy, walking over towards the wall. “Get it away from me. And I’m not your friend.”

 

“You are totally my friend,” Taeyang declared proudly. Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a small smile, looking at Taeyang’s display.

 

“Don’t pay for my rent again, though. I feel bad about it.”

 

“Youngkyun, I’m literally loaded,” Taeyang stated with a scoff.

 

“Yeah, well I’m not,” Youngkyun said, whipping his hand out to hit Taeyang’s chest lightly. He barely grazed the idiotic boy, but Taeyang clutched his hands to his chest, falling to the ground dramatically before proclaiming himself dead. Youngkyun rolled his eyes, snorting as he offered his hand to help the boy up. “But I swear I’m getting a job after break,” he defended.

 

“You don’t need to get a job, you have me to pay your rent!” Taeyang stated, turning to Youngkyun with a wide smile, arms up in the air.

 

“You will absolutely not pay for my rent anymore,” Youngkyun threatened, shoving him away.

 

“Who’s going to stop me? You and your job? I’m sure Chanhee wouldn’t mind the extra money in his pockets.”

 

“I would mind it,” Youngkyun said glaring at Taeyang. “Don’t you dare use your money on me. Why would you, anyways?”

 

“Because you’re helping me.”

 

Youngkyun scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest. “I _helped_ you,” Youngkyun clarified. “Helped. As in past tense.” He watched Taeyang smile from the corners of his vision, and he had every intention to stop him from even opening his mouth, but he was at a complete loss for words.

 

“Then why are you here?” Taeyang finally asked, leaning towards him with a self-righteous smirk. “Why are you more interested in what’s up on my wall than what you came here to call me out for?”

 

“B-because I’m- I’m not.”

 

“Because you’re not?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“And you definitely didn’t see that sticky note,” Taeyang started, moving his finger to point at the sticky note Youngkyun had definitely seen, “that says I’m going to meet with Insik tonight. And you definitely didn’t think about how much you wanna come.”

 

“That’s right. I did nothing like that,” Youngkyun lied.

 

Yes, he had seen the sticky note. He had tried to look past it, but his eyes just kept falling back to it. Why was he such a sucker for investigations and information? Why did he always feel the need to know everything? It was bothersome.

 

Youngkyun moved to open his mouth again when an obnoxious noise came from his pocket. He jumped, reaching for his phone quickly to silence it when he saw the caller ID.

 

“You can answer it,” Taeyang encouraged. “I don’t mind.”

 

“I can’t, actually,” Youngkyun stated, sucking in his breath and squinting down at his phone. “I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Is it Chanhee?” Taeyang asked. Youngkyun simply nodded, his lips caught between his teeth. “So I’ll help. Turn up the volume,” Taeyang encouraged, crossing his legs and lowering himself to the floor like a little kid. Youngkyun sighed, looking between Taeyang and the caller ID one more time, before joining him on the ground.

 

“Hey, Chanhee,” Youngkyun spoke, cringing as he said it.

 

“Kiss me on the cheek one more time and I’m calling the administrator for a new room.”

 

Youngkyun glared at Taeyang as the boy’s hand flung to his mouth, his entire face turning red as he struggled not to burst out laughing.

 

“You weren’t going to let me leave, otherwise,” Youngkyun defended.

 

“I’m not your wife!”

 

“Are you sure?” Youngkyun asked, pulling his lips between his teeth to stop himself from smiling and laughing as he spoke. Taeyang was trying his best, too, but he looked like he was about to cry.

 

“Where the hell are you anyways? Tick tock, Kyun. I want an answer now.”

 

Youngkyun looked to Taeyang for an answer, only hoping the boy had one. Taeyang moved his hand to point at himself, mouthing his answer: my place.

 

“I’m at Taeyang’s dorm,” Youngkyun stated, regretting his decision as soon as he said it.

 

“EXCUSE ME?!” Youngkyun pulled the phone away from himself, cringing at the loud sound. “Mr. Yoo Taeyang? Like, rich boy, sex god of the school, Yoo Taeyang?”

 

Taeyang couldn’t help himself, he snorted this time, falling backwards in an attempt to not be heard as he pressed his hand against his mouth. Youngkyun, however, felt his face go beat red as his free hand came to his forehead, feeling the pure stress and heat radiating from him.

 

“Ye- yes, Yoo Taeyang,” Youngkyun hesitantly confirmed.

 

“And why the hell are you with Taeyang? I thought you hated him.”

 

“I do,” Youngkyun confirmed, sending a glare towards Taeyang and watching him stifle another laugh.

 

“WAIT! Did Taeyang pay for our rent? Bro, what did you do to swing that, suck his dick or something?”

 

Youngkyun closed his eyes out of both embarrassment and pain, listening as Taeyang fell back on his back, hands over his stomach, silently laughing with some high pitched squeak. Youngkyun reached over, whacking him on the leg and gesturing his head towards the phone. 

 

“We study together!” Taeyang called out, succumbing to his laugh again.

 

“Oh shit. Kyun you didn’t tell me he could fucking  _ hear _ me!” Chanhee cursed. There was a shuffling sound from the other end of the line as Taeyang finally managed to get himself, still red in the face, sitting up properly.

 

“Youngkyun tutors me,” Taeyang lied, letting the words roll off his tongue as if they were nothing but the truth.

 

“Why, though? You do know he hates you, right?”

 

“Thanks Chanhee,” Youngkyun responded with an accepting, but defeated nod.

 

“Nah,” Taeyang denied. “We’re friends now, right Youngkyun?”

 

“No.”

 

“Wait, so Kyun. Where were you that night? Tutoring Taeyang?” Chanhee asked.

 

“Yeah,” Youngkyun lied, playing along. “And he paid for our rent because he’s a dick.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Taeyang commented, moving his hand to flip his imaginary long hair.

 

“Anyways,” Youngkyun said, moving his hand to push Taeyang away, watching him fall to the floor with a small smile on his face. “We have to get back to studying. He has a big test coming up tomorrow, so I might stay the night.”

 

“Stay the night, huh?” Youngkyun could practically hear Chanhee’s suggestive eyebrow wiggle through the call, and he hoped Chanhee could hear his exasperated head shake.

 

“No point in walking all the way back to the dorm,” Youngkyun lied. “Plus, Taeyang has actual food here.” Youngkyun didn’t actually know that, but he knew Taeyang didn’t go out to the cafes as much as other kids, which meant his dorm was most likely stocked.

 

“We have actual food,” Chanhee mumbled.

 

“We have crumbs.”

 

“Remind me to take you food shopping then,” Taeyang said, folding his arms behind his head on the floor. “I’ll spoil you with snacks.”

 

“Please don’t. You already paid for our rent,” Youngkyun pleaded, sending the boy a quick glare afterwards, as if threatening him.

 

“Well, then have fun studying and doing absolutely nothing sexual of the sorts,” Chanhee said with a snort.

 

“Bye Chanhee,” Youngkyun said, letting his voice drag on, before ending the call, throwing his phone onto the floor just to get it away from him. Lying to Chanhee seemed like a good idea now, but Youngkyun knew for a fact it was going to bite him in the ass later. He felt his chest almost caving in, already regretting it, but he forced the feeling down his throat. It was something he could deal with later.

 

“Staying the night? You know I’m-”

 

“We’re going out at ten?” Youngkyun asked, walking over to Taeyang’s bed and falling down on it, kicking off his shoes behind him. “It’s only eight. Can I take a nap before we go?”

 

He watched Taeyang’s lips pull into a smile, happily exposing all his teeth and crinkling his eyes. The boy bounced on his toes, running up to him and falling to his knees by the bedside. “You’re coming with me?”

 

“Everyone needs a partner in crime,” Youngkyun mumbled with a smile. “So can I take a nap here?”

 

Taeyang seemed happy, falling down on Youngkyun momentarily to squish him in an excited hug, before popping back up with a dramatic nod. “You can always nap here.”


	5. Nobody Can Know Everything

“You own a car that isn’t a flash of money?” Youngkyun asked, shocked, rubbing his still tired eyes as they approached a small white car that looked more than a few years old.

 

Taeyang nodded, opening the door for Youngkyun. He smiled at Taeyang and thanked him before getting into the car, taking in the smell of roses. It wasn’t overpowering, though, and it definitely wasn't masked with old car smell. His car kind of smelt like a rose scented cleaning detergent, soaked into the seats so much that it just gave off a light hint, never coming on too strong but never fading away. It was actually very nice. 

 

“Honestly, I only ever use it when I want to surprise my dad or go somewhere without anyone knowing. My dad bought me the sports car, so I use it in public, but I bought this one myself. It’s completely mine.”

 

“But isn’t it still with your dad’s money?” Youngkyun asked as Taeyang closed his door, pulling his seat belt over himself. Taeyang smiled reminiscently, letting his hands fall to the wheel as he smiled.

 

“Nope. I worked for this money. I spent some weekends helping out at a small hospital for children, and I worked at an animal shelter for a while. I even did some work at a restaurant. It took a lot of time, because I didn’t want my dad or anyone else knowing, but I saved it all up and bought the car all in cash.”

 

There was something about the way Taeyang talked about his car that made Youngkyun’s heart just fall apart. He was happy. He was talking about working, with as much money as he had, and yet he didn’t seem to care about that. He worked for his money, bought his own car, and had a small dorm, because he was Taeyang. And as much as Youngkyun thought he knew about the boy, it was the smile on his face talking about the simpler things that convinced him he knew nothing. He didn’t really know Yoo Taeyang. He knew the fake Yoo Taeyang.

 

“What?” Taeyang asked, noticing how Youngkyun had sort of just faded out of his own mind in thought.

 

“What’s your favorite color?” he suddenly asked.

 

Taeyang snorted, putting the car in reverse and pulling out of his spot. “Why?”

 

“I just realized I don’t know your favorite color.”

 

Taeyang smiled, putting the car in drive and driving towards the exit of the parking garage. To Youngkyun’s surprise, he drove gently, like he knew how to drive. It was almost like he didn’t care about a meaningless sports car, but he cared about this one.

 

“Black,” he finally stated, looking over to Youngkyun briefly. “It reminds me of the night time, and the way the sky looks at night. Also, everybody always talks about what’s in the dark that they’re afraid of, but there’s a lot of beautiful things in the dark, too. There’s bats, owls, and stars. None of those can be seen in the day,” Taeyang explained. “It’s also a pretty color.”

 

Youngkyun snorted with a smile, looking out the window to look at the sky. He couldn’t see it very well. There were too many buildings and lights. 

 

“What about you?” Taeyang asked, flipping his blinker on and taking a nice, easy turn.

 

“My favorite color?” Youngkyun asked, turning his attention back to Taeyang as the boy nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. “Blue. It reminds me of the oceans, and how much we don’t know about the oceans. They’re so undiscovered.”

 

Taeyang laughed, his teeth popping out of his smile while his cheeks puffed up. “You and your information and secrets.”

 

“I love it,” Youngkyun said truthfully. “I loving knowing everything and understanding people.”

 

“And you think you know everything?”

 

Taeyang’s question caught him off guard, closing his throat as he prepared to speak and freezing every muscle in his body. Did he? Well, no, obviously nobody can know everything. But that wasn’t the problem he had with the question. His problem was how Taeyang had said it, like he knew what Youngkyun had been thinking since they had started getting closer. Youngkyun didn’t know everything he thought he knew, and Taeyang  _ knew _ that.

 

“No,” Youngkyun answered simply. “Nobody can know everything.”

 

“Hey, let’s play a game,” Taeyang suggested, knowing that was going to be the end of that conversation.

 

“A game?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow as Taeyang flicked his turn signal on again, checking over his shoulder before changing lanes. It was weird to see how responsibly he drove with this car. Youngkyun actually felt like he could relax.

 

“Yeah. it’s like twenty questions, only the questions have to start with the word ‘if’ and you have to answer with yes or no, and they don’t have to be related to any one thing.”

 

“I’m confused.”

 

“Okay, I’ll go first,” Taeyang decided, shifting in his seat to be more comfortable. “If you had the option of going to another school, like a public school, would you take it?”

 

“Yeah, absolutely,” Youngkyun said without skipping a beat. “I would want to bring Chanhee with me, though. But yeah. Why that question?” Youngkyun asked, stunned.

 

“I can tell you’re not happy at this school,” he answered simply with a shrug.

 

“You’ve known me for like… three days,” Youngkyun pointed out.

 

“And you always look like you’re ready to walk out the front gates,” Taeyang told him with another shrug.

 

“Okay, my turn,” Youngkyun decided quickly. “If you could change your dad’s occupation to anything else in the world, would you do it?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Taeyang stated with a nod, pulling the car to another stop light. “I can’t help but feel like whatever happened to him is because of his job, so changing his job would mean he’d be safe.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, finding the answer reasonable. Taeyang could have said he would protect his father, or warn him, but no. Taeyang would rather give it all up. For some reason, this answer didn’t surprise Youngkyun.

 

“If I had asked someone else for help, do you think you would have been happier?”

 

“What kind of question is that?” Youngkyun asked without missing a beat, furrowing his brows. 

 

“A reasonable one,” Taeyang defended. 

 

“Do I think I’d be sleeping better?” Youngkyun asked himself. “Heck yeah. But happier? I don’t know if I would be happier. Not to say this is making me jump with excitement, but school was always just a drone of on and off everything, like a routine of people and more people, if that makes sense. Just a blur. Hanging out with you has actually made it feel worth something, at least.”

 

“And you didn’t feel like your life was worth something before?” Taeyang asked, looking over to him with sad eyes before returning them to the road.

 

“Excuse you,” Youngkyun said, playfully offended, “but it is not your turn to ask the question.”

 

Taeyang laughed, nodding in Youngkyun’s direction. “Fine, fine, go ahead.”

 

“Are you happy at school? Or were you?”

 

Taeyang scoffed, the corner of his lips pulling up slightly. He clearly realized Youngkyun’s question didn’t follow the rules of the game, but he didn’t say anything about it. “No. Honestly, I didn’t really have anyone to make me happy at school. Everyone is so fake. Nobody really cares about you, they just want your reputation and money. That’s what it’s like. It’s a chore to just go to class like that,” Taeyang admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “But that’s life.”

 

“It doesn’t have to be,” Youngkyun retorted immediately.

 

“But can you honestly say people aren’t fake?” Taeyang asked sincerely, and Youngkyun couldn’t answer. He would be lying. “You more than anyone should know how fake people are. Honestly, there’s so few people I actually like because they all try so hard to pretend.”

 

“I get it,” Youngkyun agreed. “But just know you don’t have put on that mask you have around me, I already know you’re a dork.”

 

Taeyang smiled, looking over to Youngkyun with soft eyes, glowing from the traffic lights and window lights around them. “I’ve never had to.”

 

↔

 

“This place is sketchy as hell,” Youngkyun stated, closing the car door behind him and stuffing his hands in the pockets of Taeyang’s jacket.

 

Yeah, he was wearing Taeyang’s jacket. He was also wearing Taeyang’s long sleeved, black shirt, which matched his. He claimed he was fine to come here in his school uniform, but Taeyang had told him specifically that they had to go out in dark clothes because it was like a secret mission. In Youngkyun’s reasoning, the dark aesthetic would only make them seem more sketchy, which is the only reason Taeyang and him wore jackets with actual color in them instead of the black ones Taeyang had planned to use. Youngkyun’s was green and Taeyang’s was tan.

 

“Well you got that right,” Taeyang said with a shiver, coming to stand by his side. 

 

“All the lights are out,” Youngkyun observed, pulling his hand out to gesture to the entire building. Not only that, but this apartment building was surrounded by several others, and yet all those buildings had their lights on, walls clean of vegetation and looking like actual livable places. This building, however, had dirty walls with black stains covering them, vines hanging from the corners and balconies, and dented air conditioners half way through most of the non-broken windows. 

 

“Love that,” Taeyang commented sarcastically. “Totally doesn’t add to the spookiness of it.”

 

“Well,” Youngkyun started, kicking a small rock by his foot. “Talking to Insik better be worth this.”

 

“Onward!”

 

Youngkyun’s feeling only grew worse as they got further in the building. It was weird enough when there was nobody at the front desk, but it was even weirder when Taeyang pressed the button for the elevator and nothing happened. The buttons didn’t even light up.

 

“Taeyang I don’t like this.”

 

“The power is probably dead, that’s it,” Taeyang suggested with a shaky voice. It was clear he didn’t believe his own words, though. “The employees are probably out fixing it,” Taeyang suggested, looking around, and smiling happily when he spotted the door leading to the stairwell.

 

Youngkyun had absolutely no intention of being optimistic about this building. There were dead plants by the front desk with wilted leaves, and the floors looked dirty with dust and age, uncleaned. The elevator not moving was creepy on it’s own, because there was no sound coming from it. Nothing moved. The air was still. 

 

“Let’s use the stairs, come on. It’s only the third floor.”

 

The stairwell was pitch black. Youngkyun had to pull out his phone, shining it down at his feet as he walked so he could find the steps. Taeyang seemed to only be guessing where the stairs were, jumping ahead of him. While he looked for the correct door, Youngkyun had to refrain himself from checking behind him every few seconds, feeling like there were eyes watching him every step he took. He would have said something, but his throat tightened up at the idea. Even his footsteps echoed like he was the only thing moving in the entire building.

 

“Here we go,” Taeyang said quietly, holding the door open for Youngkyun.

 

“I am not going first,” he stated with a quick shake of his head.

 

“Okay, okay,” Taeyang agreed, shaking out his nerves before handing the door to Youngkyun, walking inside.

 

The hallway they entered was dark, the only light coming in from the windows at the ends of them. Every door was shut, and the carpets were bunched up like they hadn’t been touched in a while.

 

“I don’t like this,” Youngkyun commented again.

 

“Me neither, but we need to talk to Insik.”

 

“Does this not look suspicious?!” Youngkyun hissed, running in front of Taeyang to stop him. “This can’t possibly be the right place, and if it is then where the fuck is everybody? I don’t hear a single person in this entire building, and I haven’t seen one staff member!”

 

“I know,” Taeyang mumbled. “But my dad came here just a week ago. It was either like this then, or it wasn’t, which is worse. Either way, though, he was here.”

 

Youngkyun cursed at himself, folding his arms around his body as he continued to follow Taeyang to the correct room. Once they were standing at the door, Taeyang stepped forward, raising his knuckles.

 

“Jeong Insik? My name is-”

 

Taeyang knocked. The door cracked opened.

 

Youngkyun felt the color in his face draining as his fingers tightened around the material of Taeyang’s shirt he hadn’t even realized he was holding onto so tightly. His eyes went wide, staring at the partially opened door. He looked up to Taeyang who stood in front of him, but he wasn’t moving.

 

“That’s not good,” Youngkyun stated, obviously. “Taeyang maybe we should-”

 

“You’re right,” Taeyang said, and Youngkyun was almost overjoyed that Taeyang felt the same way. “We need to check it out.”

 

“No, we need to  _ leave, _ ” Youngkyun hissed, gaping as Taeyang pushed the door open just a smidge more, peeking inside. “Taeyang!” 

 

“Youngkyun, come in here,” Taeyang said, reaching his hand back for him. Taeyang was blocking the view of the room from the hallway by holding himself between the small crack.

 

“Just open the door.”

 

“I literally can’t.”

 

“Then maybe we shouldn’t go in.”

 

“We’re partners in crime, remember?” Taeyang asked him, moving his head to look back at him. “This is where Jeong Insik lives. It’s fucking creepy, I know, but what if there’s evidence in here and it hasn’t been touched by cops or FNC people yet? How much longer until they find this?”

 

“This isn’t a fucking cop drama,” Youngkyun hissed at him. “What evidence?! We’re looking for Jeong Insik!”

 

“Well, doesn’t look like he’s home,” Taeyang whispered. “So we have to find out where he went.”

 

Youngkyun closed his eyes, willing himself to just turn around and walk away, but he didn’t want to walk through this building alone, and he knew Taeyang wasn’t leaving. Slowly, with his eyes still closed, he moved his hand to place it in Taeyang’s. Taeyang’s fingers enclosed around his hand, gently guiding him towards the door and inside the apartment.

 

Youngkyun had to suck in as much as he could to get in through the small opening, but he held onto Taeyang’s hand the entire time, almost positive he was cutting off the boy’s blood circulation.

 

Taeyang moved his free hand to the light switch, flicking it up and down with no effect, before reaching into his pocket for his phone again. Youngkyun pulled out his as well, separating his hand from Taeyang’s.

 

Youngkyun’s throat went dry the second he turned his light on. His legs froze up, his arms shrinking in to his sides while the hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up.

 

The apartment was trashed. Youngkyun had seen dirty apartments before, and there was a difference between that and this. This apartment was a disaster. The tables were flipped over, papers thrown everywhere while a small tv sat broken in pieces on the hardwood floor. There was a chair behind the door, preventing it from opening, and shattered glass covered the floor.

 

“Taeyang,” Youngkyun called quietly, on the verge of tears. “Taeyang, we should-”

 

“Blood.”

 

“What?” Youngkyun asked, his voice cracking. His eyes followed Taeyang’s flashlight, down to the floor by the table.

 

“Blood.”

 

Shattered glass stained red by blood sat in a smear surrounded by droplets and a stain across the corner of the table. 

 

“Oh my god.” Youngkyun’s hands flew to his mouth, his throat closing up with nothing but a squeak. “Taeyang, maybe we shouldn’t- oh yeah, no, perfect idea. Just… walk right in,” Youngkyun trailed off, reaching out uselessly for the boy as he walked further into the apartment, cautiously stepping towards the blood. The glass shards cracked under his shoes and every noise made Youngkyun flinch. 

 

“Jeong Insik?” Taeyang called out in a low voice, shining his light around. “Jeong Insik, are you here?” Taeyang stepped around the blood completely, moving into another area of the apartment and leaving Youngkyun by the door. “Jeong Insik?”

 

Youngkyun felt like the air in the room was squeezing his lungs, his muscles too afraid to move. Every sound bounced around his ears like a gong and every movement, or what he thought was one in the darkness, caused him to flinch in fear.

 

“It’s okay,” Youngkyun mumbled to himself, feeling his throat clam up and sweat beginning to form on his forehead. “It’s okay, Youngkyun. Just- just figure out what happened. You like to solve mysteries, so just solve the mystery.” Youngkyun was really trying to coax himself into not panicking, but the small voice in the back of his mind just kept setting off his nerves.

 

He took a small step forward, looking at the blood. There was a big puddle of it by the flipped over table, which meant it was where Insik, or whoever else, had most likely been injured. But honestly, at this point, who else would it have been? Youngkyun shook his head, focusing his eyes on the smears and prints around the puddle.

 

“They don’t continue.”

 

“What doesn’t continue?” Taeyang asked, coming back to the main room of the apartment. “Insik isn’t here. There’s nobody here, I’m pretty sure I’ve checked the whole place.”

 

“The smears of blood.”

 

Taeyang blinked at him, moving his light from Youngkyun to the blood, and back to Youngkyun. “Is that bad?”

 

“It means he wasn’t dragged out. If he was dragged out, the smears would have continued to the door, or at least gone in that direction.”

 

“So he was carried?”

 

“Or he walked out. But there’s no bloody footprints.”

 

“So-”

 

“So look for shoes. Look around for any shoes that might have blood on them,” Youngkyun told him, shining his light around the living room. Taeyang nodded, stepping lightly over the glass and making sure to step far around the blood.

 

Youngkyun took a few more steps, cringing as the glass cracked beneath him. When he was close enough to the blood, he crouched down, holding himself steady with his elbows on his knees. He moved his hand, very carefully, to the blood, just barely letting the back of his knuckles graze a smear of it. When he shined his phone light on his hands, the stain of blood was clear, and it felt wet on his hand.

 

“I found the shoes,” Taeyang said, stepping around the blood again to show him. “The bottoms are covered in blood.”

 

“Where were they?” Youngkyun asked quietly, watching Taeyang motion to the room behind him. “So they were thrown, most likely. If Insik was just carried out, why would they throw his shoes off? It doesn’t make sense. He must have walked out, probably carried by other people, but he was probably still walking.”

 

Youngkyun pushed himself up, shining his light on the drops of blood, following them as they got fainted and fainter, leading towards the door. “He was still bleeding when he left.”

 

“So do you think he escaped whoever came to get him?” Taeyang asked hopefully. 

 

Youngkyun shook his head. “I think they hurt him enough to make sure he couldn’t get away, but I think whoever came definitely got him.” Youngkyun raised his knuckles up to his eyes to see the blood on them better, already starting to dry in some places. “And I think it happened within the last half an hour.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Taeyang asked, stepping over to him and taking Youngkyun’s hand in his, examining the blood. “How do you know?”

 

“It’s not dry,” Youngkyun told him, his eyes so focused on the blood he was beginning to think he didn’t have the will to pull them away. “This was really fucking recent. Did you find anything else that could maybe-”

 

Youngkyun's throat tightened, freezing every muscle in his body as a loud bang echoed throughout the building. Taeyang spun around, holding Youngkyun’s hand tightly as he jumped, probably smearing the blood across his own hand.

 

“What the fuck was that?” Youngkyun whispered, his voice coming out cracked and strained. 

 

Another bang echoed from the building, leaving a chill of silence in its wake, before the sound of glass shattering came after it.

 

“Someone’s here.”

 

“No shit,” Taeyang responded, still gripping Youngkyun’s hand like his life depended on it. Youngkyun moved his foot, cursing as the glass cracked beneath him. He cursed at himself as he looked to the door, still open, and around the rest of the dark apartment, not seeing another obvious exit door.

 

“I hear voices,” Taeyang commented. “Youngkyun, we are three floors from the lobby. That’s not far up.”

 

“I know, god dammit,” Youngkyun whispered, cursing under his breath. “When you looked around, was there another exit?”

 

“Not that I-”

 

“Fuck this place, man! It’s a dump!”

 

Youngkyun’s voice caught like a fish on a hook, his head whipping around to the door. He felt his arms freezing up, Taeyang’s fingers curling into his skin. Youngkyun’s breathing came out choppy, his legs shaking, although they felt frozen.

 

“They’re coming up the stairs,” he managed to say. “We need to go.”

 

“If they’re coming up the stairs where the fuck do we go?!” Taeyang hissed, keeping his voice as quiet as possible.

 

“The fire escape,” Youngkyun suggested hurriedly. “Every building has a fire escape.” Youngkyun didn’t wait a moment longer, pulling Taeyang harshly with him as he moved over to the window. He quickly moved his shaking hands to the top of the window, running his fingers along the top until he found the window lock. Without hesitation, he flung the window open, grabbing Taeyang’s wrist and pulling him towards the opening.

 

“How much of a mess do you think we have to clean up?” they heard, the voices getting louder every second.

 

“Fucking hurry!” Youngkyun ushered, pushing Taeyang through the opening as quickly as he could. Youngkyun threw himself through after Taeyang, landing on the fire escape stairs with a loud crash.

 

“Hey, what the fuck was that?”

 

Youngkyun’s breath caught in his throat as he quickly pushed the window down from the outside, his fingers shaking uncontrollably as he moved it shut. Then he saw bodies showing in through the door. Youngkyun dropped to his stomach, cursing under his breath as the metal dug into his body.

 

“Youngkyun! Let’s go!” Taeyang whispered, running up the few stairs to grab his hand, pulling him down them with him. Youngkyun stumbled to his feet once he was out of sight from the window, more or less falling down the stairs after Taeyang. 

 

“Go, go, go, go,” he ushered, forcing Taeyang down faster as he almost tripped over his own feet, catching himself on a railing before pushing himself to continue. 

 

“What the fuck was that?!” Taeyang whispered back as they came to the end. Youngkyun ran in front of him, dropping the ladder and sliding down it, cursing again as the metal burned his hands.

 

“I don’t know but let’s go, let’s go,” he responded quickly, grabbing Taeyang’s hand to help him down. He wondered if he should put the latter up, but he quickly decided he didn’t care enough before taking off, bolting for the car. He felt winded as he ran, feeling his lungs closing up and burning. He breathed heavily as he ran for the car, not letting himself stop until they both reached the car, swinging the doors open and jumping inside.

 

Youngkyun leaned his head against the back of the seat, letting his lungs fill with air like he hadn’t been able to breathe right in hours. His breathing sounded scratchy, his arms hanging limp by his sides, covered in sweat.

 

“Who the fuck were those people?” Taeyang asked in a shaky voice. 

 

“I don’t know,” Youngkyun mumbled, out of breath, eyes closed and deflating from his adrenaline high. “I have no fucking idea, but did you hear them? They said-”

 

Youngkyun looked over to Taeyang, expecting to find the boy just as out of breath as he was. But Taeyang didn’t look exhausted; he was in tears. He had his hands covering his eyes, but his lips were pulled back in such a way, and as much as he tried to hide his quiet sobs, it wasn’t enough.

 

“Taeyang-”

 

“If they did that to Insik just for talking to my dad, what did they do to my dad?” Taeyang cried, breaking. His head lurched forward as he sobbed, staining his blood covered hands with tears. The water dripped down his cheeks, his chest shaking with sobs as he tried to be quiet, but that only seemed to make it worse.

 

It was unfair of Youngkyun to say he wanted to leave now, even as much as he did. It was unfair of him to say he wanted to drive off and go back to school like nothing had happened. But that’s what he wanted more than anything right now.

 

It was simple: Youngkyun didn’t like death. He had never liked death, and as much as he wanted to comfort Taeyang by saying his father would be okay, he couldn’t say that without lying, which scared him. He knew the direction this was taking. He had seen it before. If Insik was still alive, and that was a big if, how much longer did he have? How much longer did Taeyang’s father have?

 

It was unfair of Youngkyun to say he didn’t like this, because what about Taeyang? Youngkyun had offered to come here, but if Taeyang hadn’t come out looking for his father, who would? As he thought about it, it seemed less and less like Taeyang had any other option. Youngkyun could go home, he could keep helping, he could go literally anywhere else. But Taeyang couldn’t escape this. Taeyang had to live with people like this walking around beside him with fake smiles, and he had to live knowing he had no idea what happened to his father. It didn’t matter where he went, because it would follow him.

 

“Get out,” Youngkyun ordered, biting on his lip as soon as the words left his mouth.

 

“What?” Taeyang asked, his voice still clogged up as he looked up with red eyes, barely visible in the the little moonlight streaming in through the windows of the car.

 

“Get out. We’re switching seats. You can’t drive if you’re crying,” he stated blankly, looking to the apartment building quickly before opening his door. Taeyang did the same, leaving his open for Youngkyun and taking his place in the passenger seat quickly.

 

“I didn’t know you could drive,” Taeyang mentioned quietly, moving his clean hand to wipe away at his cheeks.

 

“Technically I can drive, I just don’t have a license,” Youngkyun responded, checking out the building again, before leaning back in his seat. There was a small silence in the car, and Youngkyun could feel Taeyang watching him. “What?”

 

“You’re not driving.”

 

“No, why the hell would I?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Well, I mean,” Taeyang started, looking back to the building again. “Why the hell wouldn’t you? We lost Insik, we lost whatever evidence might have been in that room, and we know nothing. What more is there for us to do?”

 

Youngkyun scoffed, moving his fingers to Taeyang’s chin. He gently pushed Taeyang’s face, letting Taeyang’s eyes follow where he directed him. He stopped his head at about a 45 degree angle. 

 

“What do you see?”

 

“A parking lot with like, ten cars in it,” Taeyang stated quietly, but dully.

 

“But which one wasn’t there before?” Youngkyun asked, pointing out at a shiny black car in the middle of the lot. “That’s their car.”

 

“Youngkyun, what are we supposed to do with their car?” Taeyang asked with obviously no confidence to do anything.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, jerking his head back towards the apartment building. “The owners of that car are in there now. They talked about having to clean up a mess, which means they either took Insik, or they know who did.” Youngkyun smiled at Taeyang, like a gentle reassurance. “You’re right, we really don’t know shit right now. But they do.”

 

“You want to follow them?”

 

“Yeah,” Youngkyun agreed. “You said it yourself, the cops aren’t helping. And this isn’t only your dad anymore. Insik got hurt, too. How many other people got hurt that we don’t even know about?” Youngkyun moved his eyes back to the building, watching it. “We might just be a couple of dumbass kids, but we’re doing a better job than anyone else has so far. These guys might not even know we’re here.”

 

“Thank you, Youngkyun,” Taeyang said out of nowhere, eyes still glossed over.

 

“Just so you know, though,” Youngkyun started, the corners of his lips pulling up into a smile, “You are so buying me food after this.”

 

“I’ll buy you a fucking country if that’s what you want.”

 

↔

 

“How long have they been in there?” Youngkyun asked, reaching over to Taeyang’s lap to grab another chip.

 

“Too long. It’s fucking cold, too.”

 

“Well we can’t turn the car on, we’ve been over this,” Youngkyun retorted with a short laugh, popping the chip in his mouth.

 

“Well then why couldn’t this happen in a warmer month?” Taeyang asked with a short laugh, reaching into the bag himself.

 

“Or maybe during the day,” Youngkyun offered with a smile.

 

“Yeah, or- fuck, heads down!”

 

Youngkyun ducked to the wheel immediately, holding himself still. Taeyang flung the chips to the back seat, bending over to duck under the window. Neither of them moved, not daring to do anything that could shake the car and give them away.

 

“Did you see them come out?” Youngkyun asked, to which Taeyang nodded his head slightly, careful not to move too much. “How long would it take to walk to the car?” he asked in a whisper

 

“I don’t know,” Taeyang replied honestly, eyes wide. 

 

Youngkyun sighed, slowly moving his head to peek out the windshield. He watched as the men got into their car- three of them, to be exact. The car turned on, lights all flashing at once, and it started to pull out of the lot. Youngkyun watched it, waiting until it reached the end of the lot.

 

“Watch them,” Youngkyun ordered, shoving the key in the ignition and waiting.

 

“You’re good, go, go, go,” Taeyang told him. Youngkyun didn’t hesitate, turning the key and throwing the car into drive. He spun it around quickly, speeding towards the exit and onto the road. “Turn right, right, Youngkyun!”

 

Youngkyun moved his pinky to throw his blinker on as he spun the wheel to the right. He could see the black car in the distance, only two cars between them. 

 

“Turn left at the light,” Taeyang told him as he threw his blinker on, turning left with one of the other cars.

 

“I don’t want to ride their tail to where they’re going. They’ll know I’m following them,” Youngkyun stated, stopping the car at the stop light. “Do you have a mask?”

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“Put it on, they might recognize your face. I don’t want to give them any more hints that we’re following them,” he stated, stepping on the gas as the light turned green.

 

“Turn right.”

 

“Yeah, I saw it,” Youngkyun said, turning right with the black car, ending up right behind it. “Fuck. Taeyang, get the license plate,” he told him, stopping at another light behind the car. “They’re going straight here, where could that lead them?”

 

“I think they’re going to Hannam,” Taeyang replied, leaning his elbow on the window to come off as more relaxed.

 

“Well I don’t have a map of fucking Hannam,” Youngkyun replied, following the car to the next light. “I have a map of Itaewon, but not Hannam.” Youngkyun slowed down, gesturing out the window for a car to pull out in front of him who was clearly waiting for the chance.

 

“Can you get my phone? Call Jaeyoon and put it on speaker.”

 

“Now?” 

 

“Yes, now. I need a favor, like, right now,” Youngkyun said, turning the wheel to follow the two vehicles. 

 

Taeyang nodded, grabbing Youngkyun’s phone quickly from the center compartment of the car, scrolling through his contacts until he found the one he was looking for.

 

“Kyun? Kyun, what’s up?” Jaeyoon’s voice came from the call, echoing throughout the car.

 

“Can you run a plate for me?”

 

“What the fuck? That’s illegal.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Jaeyoon you sell drugs for a living, why do you give a shit about a goddamn plate?”

 

Jaeyoon laughed from the other end as Youngkyun stopped at another light. “Okay, okay, yeah, but I’m in Daesin right now. I can’t run the plate from here.”

 

“Run it within the next three hours and my friend will give you three hundred thousand won,” Youngkyun offered as he bit down on his lip, looking ahead of him to the black car.

 

Taeyang scoffed by his side, and Youngkyun took his eyes off the road briefly to wink at him. 

 

“Fucking done. But why-”

 

“No questions or it’s two hundred thousand,” Youngkyun stated, taking another turn. “Thank you, Yoon.”

 

Taeyang ended the call after Jaeyoon agreed, saying goodbye. Taeyang texted him the plate quickly, tossing the phone in the glove box after that. They didn’t drive for much longer, keeping a good distance between them and the black car, before the car put it’s brakes on, turning into the parking lot of some construction site.

 

“Turn right,” Taeyang ordered. “I see a gas station over there. Pull into the parking lot and we’ll walk over.” Youngkyun nodded, doing as he said, and throwing the keys to Taeyang after. Quickly, they ran down the street, hurrying over to the site where the car was parked.

 

The construction site looked like an incomplete factory, to Youngkyun. Any windows it had were wide open, the walls covered in dirt from the piles of it around the ground. The upper structure looked unfinished, metal poking out from the walls and bars holding up wooden pallets to build with. It was a large building, perfectly secluded. Quickly, Youngkyun looked around for people, only he didn’t see any.

 

“They must all be inside,” Taeyang suggested, motioning for the two of them to get closer to the building. There were no open windows for them to peek in through, so Youngkyun only had one other idea.

 

“We have to get inside.”

 

“This just keeps getting better,” Taeyang commented with a sigh, running around the corner of the building with Youngkyun on his tail. On the other side there were windows, but the problem was that they were too high up to reach. They were open, of course, which made them perfect.

 

“Got any idea of how to get up there?” Youngkyun asked, jerking his head towards the upper windows.

 

“Well…” Taeyang trailed off, and Youngkyun sighed at what he was looking at. Large nails jutted from the wall, most likely holding it together. Conveniently, they were right under the window like a ladder, but that didn’t mean Youngkyun wanted to climb up the wall of a building using metal rods. 

 

“Great,” Youngkyun commented, grabbing onto the first rusty nail with disdain, pulling himself up. The higher he climbed, the more he disliked this. Every rod was just wide enough for one of his feet or one of his hands, which sucked because the rods were also painful as hell, digging into his skin with just the slightest bit of pressure. Also, the wind became a bit stronger up on the wall, and it just made Youngkyun feel that much higher up. He really, really, really didn’t want to fall.

 

Once he reached the opening of the window, he grabbed onto it with his hand, peeking his head in first to see. It wasn’t an entire floor, but it was like a balcony. He could see the first floor from the window, and he could also see the people from the apartment building.

 

“I can see them,” Youngkyun whispered beneath him to Taeyang, who was just a few rods below him. “Don’t make noise and don’t be seen.”

 

Youngkyun pulled himself through the window quickly, hoping the dark sky would have covered him easily. He scooted over to the edge of the balcony, where a few pieces of plywood sat up against the railings. The wood worked as a perfect wall to hide himself behind. He watched as Taeyang pulled himself through, quickly crawling over to where he sat behind the wood.

 

“Take pictures,” Youngkyun whispered, peeking his head out from behind the wood.

 

Below, on the first floor, there were a lot more than three men. Youngkyun had to count, coming to the total of ten, but they were all moving so he wasn’t confident in that number. All “ten” of the men were dressed in black, black caps pulled over their heads and black masks covering their features; all except one guy. This one guy still wore black, but he had taken his mask off. Youngkyun tapped Taeyang’s shoulder to take pictures of him. 

 

They all surrounded one man, an easily recognizable, but bloody, Jeong Insik. He had blood dripping from his mouth and hair, running down his hands, and staining his shirt. There were small puddles of his blood around the metal chair he was tied to.

 

“Who else did you tell?” the man without a mask asked, stepping closer to Insik. Insik flinched at his action, and Youngkyun cringed just looking at the scene. 

 

“Nobody, I swear.”

 

“Then where the fuck are your files, huh?” he asked, taking another step forward.

 

“I- I- I burned them! I burned them! I swear! I- I never told anyone! Nobody knows!”

 

“He’s lying,” Youngkyun whispered, Taeyang’s eyes meeting his.

 

“How do you know?” Taeyang whispered back, keeping his voice so low that even Youngkyun could barely hear him.

 

“I can just tell.”

 

There was a cracking sound, and Youngkyun looked back to find the maskless man shaking out his hand while more blood dripped from Insik’s mouth. 

 

“Where are your fucking files, Insik?”

 

“I don’t have them,” he cried, tears falling down his cheeks.

 

“Then who does?”

 

“Nobody knows, I swear.”

 

“That’s not what I asked,” the man stated, gritting his teeth together as he reached into his jacket.

 

Youngkyun’s breath caught in his throat, his heart skipping a beat as his body went numb. His eyes wouldn’t leave the silver object in the man’s hand, no matter how much he wanted to look to anything else.

 

“Who did you give them to?!” he yelled, pressing the barrel of the gun harshly to Insik’s head.

 

“Nobody!” he screamed through his cries, shaking his head with tears streaming down his face. “They’re gone! Please, I don’t have them! Nobody does!”

 

“Shouldn’t we help him?” Taeyang hissed, but Youngkyun couldn’t answer. Youngkyun couldn’t even move, staring at the gun in the man’s hand. “Youngkyun?!”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes!” Insik cried. “I’m sure, I’m sure!”

 

“Oh,” the man said, his expression falling into a pout. “Well then I guess you aren’t good for much else.”

 

“NO! PLEAS-”

 

Youngkyun’s ears rang, his fingers going numb around the wood as his eyes locked on Insik, watching as his lifeless body fell to the floor.


	6. Laced With Trauma

“You take good care of yourself, Hwiyoung.”

 

“Thank you Mrs. Kim.” 

 

Youngkyun reached up to the counter, grabbing the plastic bag by the handles and holding it to his chest. He made sure to hold it closed as tightly as he could, making sure nobody around him could see what was inside of it.

 

Half way home he lost interest in being so protective over the bag and opted to hold it by his side, making sure to not let it drag, of course. He sighed, swinging the bag with him as he walked through the neighborhood. He kept his eyes on his feet as he walked, not wanting to see anybody out on their lawns or porches.

 

“My, my! Hwiyoung! What are you doing outside all by yourself?”

 

Youngkyun sighed, keeping his eyes on his feet as he stopped, slowly turning towards the source of the voice. He bowed, making sure to look respectful, as he kept his eyes on his feet. “Good morning Mrs. Choi.”

 

“My, my, boy. You’re getting so tall,” she commented from her porch. “I haven’t seen you outside in a while.”

 

“Thank you Mrs. Choi,” he said weakly, bowing as he said it. He brought the bag up to his arms, holding it to his chest.

 

“How old are you now?”

 

“Eight and a half,” he replied simply, keeping his eyes on the ground.

 

“And your hair! It’s getting so long!”

 

“I like my hair long,” Youngkyun stated quietly, reaching up with one hand to feel his hair, growing just beyond his chin now. “My mom said I should keep it long. It looks nice that way.”

 

“Well, tell your mom I think it looks wonderful!”

 

Youngkyun bit down on his lip, bowing again, before continuing his walk. He sped up his pace a bit, hurriedly getting away from Mrs. Choi before she could ask him anymore questions.

 

Once he made it to the front door, he reached up, turned the handle, and pulled the door open. He walked inside carefully, closing the door behind him.

 

“Hwiyoung! Come here!”

 

Youngkyun looked up from his feet, eyes going wide. A strange man stood in front of him, watching him with wide eyes, while Jaejoong stood at the other end of the room, a pistol in his hand.

 

“Hwiyoung! Come here!” 

 

“Hi,” the man in front of him said, smiling with his hand out.

 

“Hwiyoung, get the fuck over here!” Jaejoong called again, looking between him and the other man.

 

“Your name is Hwiyoung?”

 

Youngkyun looked to Jaejoong quickly, and back at the man in front of him. Slowly he started moving his head back and forth.

 

“Hwiyoung, get over here!” Jaejoong yelled, causing Youngkyun to flinch as he dropped the bag to the ground, running over to Jaejoong. He reached up, grabbing onto Jaejoong’s shirt and pulling at it, tears building up in his eyes.

 

“Please don’t hurt him!” he begged. “Please don’t hurt the man! Just let him go!”

 

“He stole my fucking money!”

 

“It’s just money,” Youngkyun begged, tugging harder at his shirt. “Don’t hurt him. Please, don’t hurt him, Jaejoong!”

 

“Listen to the kid,” the guy said, hands up in the air. “It’s just money.”

 

“It’s  _ my _ money!” Jaejoong yelled, holding the gun up higher.

 

“Jaejoong! Please!” Youngkyun screamed, tears falling down his cheeks.

 

Jaejoong swatted his hand at Youngkyun, pushing him back with disgust written across his face. “Don’t get in my way!” he yelled.

 

Youngkyun pushed himself up again, grabbing onto Jaejoong’s shirt and trying, with all his might, to pull his arm down. “It’s just money! Let him go!” 

 

The man looked up to Jaejoong, hands flinching in the air. “Are you really going to do this in front of your ki-”

 

Youngkyun didn’t have a second to prepare as the gun fired, leaving his ears with nothing but a dull ringing sound as he fell back, hands barely catching him as he landed on the hardwood floor. Youngkyun felt like he couldn’t breathe, closing his eyes as tightly as he could as he pushed himself back, so far back until he hit the wall behind him. Youngkyun pushed himself into the corner, letting the tears stream down his face as he cried out. He couldn’t hear himself crying, though, he only knew he was crying. He brought his hands up to his ears, covering them to stop the horrible ringing, but it didn’t go away. He closed his eyes harder, hoping it would just go away.

 

“Hey!” he heard faintly as a hand grabbed his wrist, pulling him up to his feet. He cried as his hands were ripped from his ears, tugged down to his side. The second he opened his eyes, he was met with an angry Jaejoong, kneeling in front of him with his eyes burning holes into his own. “Hey! Hwiyoung!”

 

“You hurt him,” Youngkyun cried, the ringing becoming more intense as other sounds returned, overwhelming him completely. “You hurt him, Jaejoong. You didn’t have to.”

 

“You’re a fucking child,” Jaejoong told him, which only made Youngkyun cry harder. “He was a bad man. It’s okay to hurt bad men.”

 

“You steal money!” Youngkyun screamed, ripping his hands away from Jaejoong’s. “You steal from people and make me get medicine because you can’t! If you get it, it’s illegal, so you make me get it! You’re a bad person, too!” Youngkyun screamed, opening his eyes for only a second before he felt the pain from Jaejoong's hand spread across his face.

 

“Don’t talk to me like that!” Jaejoong demanded, roughly grabbing his wrist again. Youngkyun moved his free hand to his cheek, holding it in pain as he was pulled over to the front door. The second Youngkyun saw the body he shut his eyes tightly, shaking his head with tears.

 

“Jaejoong!” he yelled, not really sure what he was trying to say.

 

“Look at it, Hwiyoung.”

 

“My name isn’t Hwiyoung!” he screamed, forcing his head down to the ground as his tears fell to the floor. He felt his cheeks going red from his anger as he tried to pull his hand away, but Jaejoong wouldn’t let him this time.

 

“It is while you’re here!” Jaejoong yelled, pulling him forward again. “Look at the body, Hwiyoung. I want you to see what happens to bad people. This happens all the time, it’s normal. You need to get used to-”

 

“No!” Youngkyun screamed, moving his foot to kick at Jaejoong’s leg with everything he had in him. “Dad never did this!” he yelled, pulling his arms as hard as he could. “Even after mommy died, he never did this! You’re the bad person! You’re the bad one!”

 

He was slapped across the face again, as the pain only caused him to cry harder, screaming as he tried to get free from Jaejoong. 

 

“I’m trying to teach you!” Jaejoong yelled at him. 

 

“You’re terrible!” Youngkyun retorted, kicking him again. “I fucking hate you!”

 

Jaejoong held onto his arms, grabbing his shoulders and holding him in place harshly. “You can’t freak out every time you see a body, Hwiyoung. It’s life.”

 

“I don’t want to!” Youngkyun screamed, refusing to open his eyes. He tried to pull away, but Jaejoong wouldn’t let him move. “Please, Jaejoong!” he begged, shaking his head. “I don’t want to! I don’t want to!”

 

“Hwiyoung, I wasn't fucking asking. Look at the body.”

 

Slowly, Youngkyun bit down on his lip, forcing his eyes to crack open. He forced them open until all he could see was the blurred body in front of him, hidden behind his tears. The man, who had been talking and moving just minutes ago, had a red hole in his chest, with a large stain spreading throughout his shirt. 

 

“I’m looking,” Youngkyun choked out with a cracked voice, sobbing as he forced his eyes to stay on the body. Every detail on the man’s body ingrained itself into Youngkyun’s mind, like it was cutting off his nerves and numbing him, one cell at a time. Every second he spent look at the body he felt more numb, but more in pain at the same time. He had hoped if he just looked, he wouldn’t have to be slapped again, and Jaejoong would just let go of him. But this just felt like it hurt so much more.

 

“Good. You need to learn how harsh the world is. You can’t survive if you’re weak like this,” Jaejoong explained, but Youngkyun was barely listening. Youngkyun wasn’t weak. He was strong. Jaejoong was weak. Jaejoong was a coward. “Repeat after me, Hwiyoung. This is a bad man.”

 

“You’re a bad man,” Youngkyun sneered. He felt Jaejoong’s hand connect with his cheek again, and Youngkyun did everything he could not to scream at Jaejoong again. Instead, he just closed his eyes tightly, shaking at the faint outline of the dead man ingrained in his mind. “I hope you end up like him some day. I hope you get what you deserve. You deserve it all. You deserve to be just like him.”

 

“Hwiyoung-”

 

“I hate you,” he continued through his tears. “I hate everything about you.” Youngkyun ripped himself away from Jaejoong, his shoulders burning as he did so. He stepped over to the body, pushing down the fear that rose to his throat as he reached over the body for the bag. He grabbed it and threw it at Jaejoong roughly, glaring at him as he did. “I got your fucking drugs. Try not to kill someone this time.”

 

Youngkyun could never sleep the same after that. Years later, doctors diagnosed him with insomnia, but he knew it wasn’t only that. The man would appear in his mind whenever he closed his eyes, and he would wake up in the middle of the night, hands up in the air to find no gun pointed at his head like there had been in his dreams. All of his dreams. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throughout this fic, there will be a few chapters that are too short to wait an entire week for. So instead, these chapters will be updated randomly on days in between some weeks. I won't announce them so I hope it'll be like a nice little surprise :) Enjoy these short chapters!


	7. Death is Hard to Handle Pt. 1

“Youngkyun! Hey, you gotta calm down man! Keep it together, keep it together.”

 

“Look at me, Youngkyun!”

 

“It’s okay. I got you, okay? You’re okay.”

 

Youngkyun blinked up at Taeyang, furrowing his brows as he tried to even his breathing. It was like he hadn’t been able to see Taeyang, like it had all gone dark the second the gun went off. 

 

“You okay?” Taeyang asked, slowly reaching up to place his hand on his shoulder. Youngkyun stared at the boy’s hand for a moment, wondering why his own were curled around his stomach like he had felt sick. 

 

There was a sharp ringing in his ears, and Youngkyun winced at the sound, spinning around to look at his surroundings in a panicked motion. He turned away from Taeyang, trying to look at the men below when Taeyang grabbed his wrist, pulling him back behind the wood.

 

“Hey!” Taeyang called, pulling him back towards him. “Don’t look over there. Don’t look at him. Look at me.”

 

“Be quiet!” Youngkyun shushed him. “They could hear us and-”

 

“Youngkyun… the men left ten minutes ago. We’re fine. We’re the only ones here now.”

 

Youngkyun felt his mouth go dry as his eyes widened. Ten minutes? But the gun… it had only just gone off seconds ago.

 

Youngkyun moved to look to the ground floor again but Taeyang reached around him, holding him with his arms and pulling him back behind the wood.

 

“Stop it, Youngkyun!”

 

“Ten minutes?” Youngkyun asked with a shaky voice, more to himself than to Taeyang. “Why can’t I… Taeyang, I- I don’t-”

 

“You just panicked! You had a full blown panic attack and you don’t even remember it!” 

 

“I- no, I- that doesn’t-”

 

Youngkyun couldn’t seem to find the words. Ten whole minutes had gone by and he couldn’t remember them? He remembered the gun going off, and Insik dropping, and-

 

“Stop it,” Taeyang ordered, pulling him into his arms and forcing Youngkyun’s head to his shoulder. “Stop thinking about it, please, Youngkyun. You’re going to panic again, please just stop for a second!”

 

Youngkyun didn’t notice until Taeyang said it, how heavily he was breathing. He was panicking again and he couldn’t even tell. He was panicking and he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t stop it. It wasn’t okay, it was too much. It was everywhere, in all of his senses, and he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t-

 

“Youngkyun!”

 

“I’m sorry!” he blurted out, closing his eyes tightly on Taeyang’s shoulder, hoping to hold back the tears. “I’m sorry, I can’t! I can’t help it, I’m sorry!”

 

“It’s not your fault-”

 

“It is. It is my fault. I can’t stop it!” Youngkyun was crying now, pressing his face into Taeyang’s shoulder. “I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle it. I was supposed to be able to handle it, but I couldn’t. He told me I had to but I-”

 

“None of this is your fault,” Taeyang cut him off, reaching up to the back of his head with a gentle hand. “Nobody should ever be expected to handle something like that. It’s okay. Please, just breathe. Just focus on breathing, okay? Nobody is coming to hurt you. I’m here to protect you.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Youngkyun cried again, reaching his hands up to hold onto Taeyang’s shoulders, pulling his lips back as he cried.

 

“I don’t ever want you to be sorry for something like this,” Taeyang told him. “You can say sorry as many times as you want, but you should never feel guilty for something you had no control over. Nobody will ever blame you.”

 

“He blamed me,” Youngkyun cried, pulling Taeyang closer to him. “He blamed me. He told me I had to handle it, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t handle it, but he told me-”

 

“Fuck whoever this guy is,” Taeyang mumbled, pulling Youngkyun into his chest as if their hug could get any tighter. “Fuck whoever the hell he is for making you feel this way. It’s death. Death is hard to handle, and it’s okay.”

 

Youngkyun opened his mouth to tell him it wasn’t the death that scared him, but he just pressed himself further into Taeyang’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure, at this point, if he was more scared of the guns, or more scared of telling someone about his fear. So he just stopped talking, burying himself in Taeyang’s hug.

 

↔

 

“Do you want to go to your dorm or mine?” Taeyang asked, turning the blinker on.

 

Honestly, the last thing Youngkyun wanted to do was break down in front of Chanhee. Chanhee didn’t need to hear his problems, and he didn’t need to get involved in them either.

 

“I told Chanhee I would stay the night at yours, remember?” Youngkyun asked, reaching up with the back of his hand to wipe away at his red eyes, which were long past done crying, but they still felt wet with tears. It was like he couldn't get the feeling away. It just stuck on him. 

 

“I don’t want you to be alone, though,” Taeyang commented, keeping his eyes on the road as he turned. 

 

“Alone?” Youngkyun asked, shifting his attention from the dark city outside to Taeyang. If he was going to Taeyang’s dorm then… “Where are you going?” Youngkyun asked, hating the way his voice cracked as he did.

 

Taeyang sighed. “I need to talk to Insik’s daughter before anyone else gets to her.”

 

“It’s two in the morning,” Youngkyun stated, flickering his gaze down to the dimly lit clock. “She might not even be awake.”

 

“I’d rather wake her up than be too late. You said Insik was lying, so he must have been lying to protect someone he cares about. She is his only living family, it makes sense. I just want to get to her before those guys figure it out, too.”

 

“Then let’s go,” Youngkyun decided instantly, shifting in his seat to sit up straight.

 

“Absolutely not,” Taeyang decided, taking a rough turn. Youngkyun hated the silence that followed that decision, especially when he saw Taeyang take a deep breath to calm himself down. 

 

Taeyang wasn’t mad at him, was he? What if he was? What if Taeyang lied, and he really did blame Youngkyun? Wasn’t Youngkyun being a burden at this point? Taeyang was losing time because of him. Stupid, Youngkyun, it was stupid of him to-

 

“Stop that,” Taeyang said with a shake of his head.

 

“Stop what?” Youngkyun asked softly.

 

“I’m not mad at you,” Taeyang stated, slowing the car to a stop at a curb. He put the car into park and turned to face Youngkyun. “I swear I’m not mad.”

 

“You don’t have to lie,” Youngkyun told him, his voice barely audible over the other cars racing by them. “I’m slowing you down, obviously.”

 

“You’re helping me,” Taeyang reminded him. “I think I would have just gone home after this if you hadn’t told me Insik was lying. I would have never known,” he admitted, tilting his head to get Youngkyun’s attention. “I just don’t want you to stress out anymore, okay? I’m not selfishly dragging you along to help me when it’s clearly hurting you.” Youngkyun didn’t have an answer, so he was just waiting for Taeyang to start the car again. “You didn’t see the way you panicked, Youngkyun,” Taeyang stated, moving back to his driving position before pulling out into the road. “You were so scared. I never want to see you like that again.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it scared me. I mean, you walk around like you can handle anything, but I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a person that scared before, and to have it be you of all people… I never want you to feel that scared again.”

 

“I’d rather come with you,” Youngkyun stated, shaking his head although he doubted Taeyang could see it. “Yeah, I freaked out, I know. But I- I didn’t-” Youngkyun felt tears pricking his eyes as he spoke. He felt his nerves building up, his breath holding, as he kept the words on the tip of his tongue. “I didn’t- I-” Youngkyun grimaced, leaning his head back again the seat. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t tell anyone, and he probably never would. He was too scared to say it. “It doesn’t matter. The point is, I’d probably freak out again if you just dropped me off somewhere,” he spit out, crossing his arms across his chest. “If I’m with you, with someone who understands at least a tiny bit, I think I’ll be okay.”

 

“Okay…” Taeyang decided after a while, sighing. “But if you get a bad feeling-”

 

“I’ll tell you immediately, I promise,” Youngkyun said, raising his pinky in the air.

 

↔

 

“What exactly do you want to say?” Youngkyun asked, fighting back the tired, drowsy feeling that scraped at his mind. “‘Hello! My name is Taeyang and we need you to tell us exactly what your dad probably told you not to share with anyone!” Youngkyun shook his head as they walked up the final steps to the small home. The lights were all out, not surprisingly.

 

“I’m kind of just hoping my brain will come up with something incredible on the spot,” Taeyang retorted with a shrug, reaching forward to ring the bell. After waiting a few minutes, he rang it again.

 

“She’s not answering,” Youngkyun stated, obviously, pulling his arms around his chest.

 

“Okay,” Taeyang said with a shrug, reaching forward and pressing the button again. He pressed it again, and again, and again, until the door flew open, a very angry looking girl standing on the other end of it.

 

“Who the fuck are you?” she asked, obviously disturbed. Youngkyun took her side. He would be pretty pissed, too, if some stranger came knocking at his door at two in the fucking morning.

 

“Hi!” Taeyang said with his best smile. “I’m Yoo Taeyang, future CEO of FNC, and I really, really need to talk to you. Like, right now. This can’t wait.”

 

The girl’s face went pale at the mention of his name, her fingers closing tightly around the handle of the door. 

 

“You’re Jeong Chaewon, right?” Youngkyun asked, trying to smile, but knowing it wasn’t working very well. “I know it’s late, but please. This can’t wait until tomorrow.”

 

“Come in,” she said, peeking out the door quickly before letting the two of them inside. She closed the door behind them, walking them inside to the dining table. “What can I do for you?”

 

“I- Chaewon, I’m sorry to ask this of you. But can you leave the city?”

 

“What?”

 

“Smooth, Taeyang.”

 

“Do you have someone else you can stay with or somewhere else you can go?”

 

Chaewon’s eyes went wide at Taeyang’s question, looking between the two of them. “My- my friend lives in Busan I could-”

 

“That’s perfect,” Taeyang said with a tired smile. “Could you stay with them for a while?”

 

“Yeah, I guess. I could pack tomorrow and-”

 

“Could you pack tonight?” Taeyang asked, giving her another apologetic smile. “Like, could you maybe start now? I’ll even pay for your train ticket.”

 

“Why do I have to leave?” she asked, crossing her arms across her chest. Taeyang looked to Youngkyun briefly, but he just put his hands up in the air, taking a step back. 

 

“Uhm, well, the thing is-”

 

Youngkyun’s phone rang in his pocket. He sighed, pulling it out to deny the call when he saw the Id. He held his finger up to Taeyang, walking a bit away from the two of them.

 

“You love me, I know,” Jaeyoon commented immediately from the other end of the line. “But you might have a few major problems.”

 

“Which would be?” Youngkyun asked, reaching his hand up to his forehead as if to hold back his tired headache.

 

“Your rich friend is Taeyang right? Yoo Taeyang of FNC? Before you say anything- blame Chanhee. Now, don’t worry, I didn’t tell him you guys weren’t on campus, which concerns me, but I won’t ask. I also won’t ask why you guys needed to plate check an FNC vehicle so secretly and-”

 

“An FNC vehicle?” Youngkyun asked, eyes going wide.

 

“Yeah man, FNC. Right? So it’s weird, because you have to like, check those vehicles out when you use them I guess, because anyone from the company can use them. And I got a bit concerned about what you two were doing, so I asked a tech friend of mine to check the logs of those vehicles and that one isn’t checked out.”

 

“Shouldn’t it be, though?”

 

“Yeah, man, it should. I’m guessing you saw it out and about, right? Well, it might be good for you to know, this vehicle has a frequent person who always checks it out.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Kim Seokwoo. Heard of him?”

 

“No, but I’ll remember the name, thanks,” Youngkyun said, biting down on his lip.

 

“I also hope you don’t mind, but I tracked your phone.”

 

“I actually do mind,” Youngkyun stated, brushing his hand through his hair.

 

“Yeah, well, save your theatrics for later. This vehicle: good or bad?”

 

“Bad.”

 

“Well I think you have about ten minutes before that vehicle pulls up to your exact location, you’re welcome by the way. So maybe leave, like, now.”

 

“Love you, Yoon,” Youngkyun stuttered, ending the call and shoving the phone in his pocket. He rushed over to Taeyang, interrupting whatever the two of them had been saying. He turned to Chaewon. “Can you pack a bag in five minutes?” 

 

“What?!”

 

“We’ll help, come on. We need to leave as soon as possible. No longer than eight minutes or that car comes and finds us here. Let’s go, let’s go,” he ushered, pushing the two of them along. 

 

Chaewon’s bag was severely under-packed, but Youngkyun didn’t have the brain capacity to care at the moment. He grabbed Taeyang’s wrist, pulling him out the door and running down the steps towards the parked car. 

 

“Who’s driving?!” Youngkyun called back at Taeyang to find a ring of keys being thrown at him. He barely caught them, fumbling around with them in his hand as Taeyang helped a confused and flustered Chaewon down to the car.

 

Youngkyun rushed into the driver’s seat, shoving the keys in the ignition and starting the car up. Taeyang had barely closed the door when he stepped on the gas, lurching the car forward and speeding off down the street.

 

“We all good?!” Youngkyun called into the back seat where Chaewon sat completely out of breath, and probably her mind, while Taeyang tried to do what little he could to help her from the seat next to her.

 

“How the fuck did you know that?” Taeyang asked, leaning over the passenger seat.

 

“You own Jaeyoon four hundred thousand won, now,” Youngkyun decided, knowing his friend had just saved their asses.

 

“Can somebody please explain what the hell is going on?!” Chaewon yelled, tearing up. “What are we running from?!”

 

“About that…”

 

↔

 

“I can’t believe we just sent her on a train all by herself after telling her that her father is dead,” Youngkyun mumbled, pulling his arms across his chest. 

 

Taeyang sighed, watching the train pull away from the station. “At least she’s safe.”

 

“At least you thought to get to her before them,” Youngkyun retorted, lightly bumping Taeyang’s shoulder. “Sucks for us, because she burned everything without looking at it. But at least she’s safe.”

 

“Her safety is more important,” Taeyang agreed.

 

“Speaking of… do you know Kim Seokwoo?”

 

“Yeah, of course. He’s been my friend since we were little, or, at least, since I was little. He’s a bit older than me, but he was an apprentice at our company since his father worked under mine. We've always been friends. He tells me company secrets and helps me get away with shit all the time. He’s probably the best friend I have in the company.”

 

“What did he have to say about your father’s disappearance?”

 

Taeyang sighed. “That’s the thing. He didn’t say anything. I tried to ask him about it and he just told me he was busy. We haven’t spoken since.” Taeyang’s shoulders rose up as he sighed, a sad look coming across his face. “It sucks that I feel like I can’t trust him.”

 

Youngkyun sighed as well, exhaling to see a thin puff of air leaving his mouth. “I don’t know for sure, but there’s a good chance he was one of those guys,” Youngkyun said, feeling awful as he said it.

 

But Taeyang just smiled and nodded. His eyes didn’t smile, though. He just looked empty. “Okay,” he said simply, his voice cracking a bit at the end. “Come on,” he said with a shake of his head. “Let’s get back to school. It’s Friday, so we can sleep in tonight.

 

Youngkyun didn’t say anything about how little sleep he was sure to get.

 

↔

 

“I just wanna say,” Taeyang stated, throwing his jacket on the floor as soon as they walked in the door, “It’s getting cold outside and I absolutely hate it.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, offering a weak laugh as he placed Taeyang’s jacket neatly on the small coat hook by the door. “It’s warm in here though.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll get some extra blankets anyways, though,” Taeyang decided, moving to the small closet by Youngkyun’s side and grabbing a few larger blankets, throwing one onto his bed and the rest onto the ground. 

 

Taeyang gave Youngkyun some pajamas to borrow, despite his arguments, and claimed he refused to let Youngkyun sleep in his uniform pants. So Youngkyun ended up in a pair of tan, plaid pajama pants with a white t-shirt. When he came out from changing, he found Taeyang out by his bed, lying out the blankets he had put on the floor to make a small mat. He laid a bunch on pillows around on it and happily took a seat on them.

 

“That doesn’t really look like a bed, especially when you’re sleeping in yours,” Youngkyun stated sternly.

 

Taeyang rolled his eyes. “Come sit with me.”

 

“Why? Are we gonna tell scary stories?” Youngkyun asked with a weak laugh, slowly bringing himself down to sit opposite of Taeyang with crossed legs.

 

“I have something to say first.”

 

“Okay…” Youngkyun said, his eyes drifting to the pattern on the blanket in front of him.

 

“I just- hear me out okay?”

 

“I’m listening.” Youngkyun waited as Taeyang seemed to take a breath, preparing himself for whatever he was going to say. 

 

“You’re not alone, okay?”

 

Youngkyun looked up, raising an eyebrow at him, before Taeyang raised his hands to show he wasn’t done speaking. 

 

“I don’t want you to think you have to handle these things alone. I- I know we’ve only really known each other for three, well, now four days, but I’m here for you,” he stated, giving Youngkyun a genuine, caring smile, one that made him avert his eyes because he thought he might tear up. “You’ve done nothing but help me, even when you knew you were uncomfortable. I’m here to help you too. We’re partners in crime now, right?”

 

“Thanks,” Youngkyun managed to push out. “But I- I can’t-” Youngkyun bit down on his lip, grimacing as his dreams came rushing back to his mind, every gun shot and every body falling, even Insik’s. He sighed, reaching up with the back of his hand to wipe at his cheeks, feeling the tears stain his skin. “I can’t say it. I just can’t.”

 

“You can,” Taeyang encouraged him. “But you don’t have to. Just know I’m always here to listen, okay? For when you feel like you can.”

 

“Thank you, Taeyang,” he said, giving him as much of a genuine smile as he could manage. “That really does mean a lot to me.” He wanted to tell Taeyang how nice it felt to have someone pretend to care, but he couldn’t seem to put the words together. Nobody had ever even bothered to ask, and here Taeyang was, making the effort. He almost wished he could bring himself to genuinely believe it.

 

“Are you going to be okay tonight?” Taeyang asked, his eyes drifting around the makeshift bed.

 

Youngkyun nodded, knowing full well how big of a lie he was telling. “I’ll be fine,” he choked out. It was such a lie, and just knowing it was stinging his eyes, threatening them with tears.

 

“Okay. Well, it’s been a long day. You didn’t get a very long nap earlier… so you should try to get some good rest. I’m right here, okay?”

 

Youngkyun nodded, watching Taeyang push himself up and onto his own bed. Youngkyun fixed the blankets around a little more as he settled in, fluffing the pillows and making his space comfortable.

 

“Lights on or off?” Taeyang asked softly. 

 

“Everyone always sleeps with the lights off. You can just turn them off,” Youngkyun stated in a whisper, images of his many dark, sleepless nights flashing to his mind. Every moment Jaejoong turned out the lights, and when he screamed at Youngkyun for turning them back on. There was the time Jaejoong had broken the lights so he couldn’t turn them on, and the batteries he had snuck in for his flashlight so Jaejoong wouldn’t know. The lights were always off, and that’s just how it had always been.

 

“Goodnight, Youngkyun,” Taeyang said, snuggling into his blankets. Youngkyun’s lips parted, just the tiniest bit, watching Taeyang pull the blankets around his arms. Youngkyun smiled, just slightly, as he pulled his own blankets over himself, smiling at the lamp Taeyang had left on, giving the room a soft glow.


	8. Safe Now

Youngkyun bolted up, breathing heavily and panting, sweat dripping down his forehead as tears fell down his cheeks. His hand dug into the blanket, his fingers going numb from the pressure. His eyes closed tightly, his teeth digging into his lips enough to draw blood. 

 

“Fuck,” he mumbled to himself, feeling more tears spill over. The sound of the gun echoed in his mind, and the image of some stranger’s body dropping to the ground stung him like a wasp. The image refused to leave his brain, seeping into every crack in his thoughts and planting itself there. 

 

He closed his fingers around the blankets tighter, almost having to convince himself that he wasn’t holding the gun anymore, that he never was. 

 

Sometime during the night the light must have burned out, because the darkness of the room seemed to cave in on Youngkyun like a trap. He felt confined to the dream and his own memories, and the darkness and the sounds of everything bad around him. 

 

He didn’t know what he was doing until he was already up, the blanket falling away from him and his hands grabbing onto the sheets of Taeyang’s bed.

 

“Youngkyun?”

 

“Please don’t ask,” Youngkyun whispered with a crack in his raspy voice. “Please don’t say anything,” he pleaded.

 

Taeyang looked like he was ready to ask, like he was ready to reach for the light and bombard Youngkyun with the useless questions he would lie through, but he didn’t. Taeyang just reached for the blankets, holding them up for Youngkyun to crawl in. He tucked them around Youngkyun’s body, pulling his arm over his shoulders and hugging him close. Youngkyun tried not to sniffle, or to show he had been crying, but it was already pretty obvious.

 

“Don’t lie like that again,” Taeyang mumbled, his voice sounding a bit more stuffy than before. “Don’t lie and say you’re okay when you’re not.”

 

“I told you not to-”

 

“Not to say anything, I know,” Taeyang stated, pulling Youngkyun in closer. “But next time just stay in my bed with me, okay? Don’t hurt yourself like that.”

 

“Please don’t make me repeat it,” Youngkyun pleaded, choking out the words with tears as he said it. He wasn’t even sure why it had come to mind, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of Jaejoong looming over him, forcing him to say words that weren’t his.

 

“You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to,” Taeyang told him, moving his fingers to his hair, petting it in a soothing manner. “You don’t have to lie, either. You’re safe, now.”


	9. Never Dream Again

“Chanhee, your phone is ringing,” Youngkyun mumbled, burying his head into whatever was keeping him really warm. There was definitely some source of warmth next to him, but it was just so nice and comfortable that Youngkyun really didn’t care to think about it.

 

“Not Chanhee. Taeyang,” a voice mumbled from next to him. Youngkyun sighed, hugging the warmth closer to him.

 

“Taeyang, your phone is ringing,” Youngkyun corrected, smiling into the warmth. It didn’t even feel cold outside the blankets, but the warmth was just so much better. Youngkyun curled his fingers into the fabric, burying his head deeper. 

 

“Not my phone.”

 

“Well it’s not mine,” Youngkyun argued back in a mumble.

 

“Yes it is. Is your phone.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, even though they were closed. “Well I don’t wanna answer it. I’m comfy right now.”

 

“Can’t hug me forever. Have to get up eventually,” Taeyang mumbled.

 

“I’m not-” Youngkyun raised his sleepy eyes, letting the blurred light come into focus as he found himself, head buried into Taeyang’s chest. “FUCK!” he screamed, pushing Taeyang away in shock and tumbling backwards off the bed. He rolled across the floor, groaning as he tried to blink the shock away in his eyes.

 

Taeyang moaned from his bed, eyes still closed. “My warmth.”

 

Youngkyun blinked, biting down on his lip with a hiss of pain. He had forgotten about his episode last night. His lip was most likely covered in red spots because he had bit down on it so hard. He really needed a new habit.

 

“Get up,” Youngkyun said, more or less fully awake now. He stood up, grabbing a pillow from Taeyang’s bed and tossing it at him. The pillow hit him right in the face and Youngkyun had to hold back a snort at the sound of displeasure Taeyang managed to get out before rolling over, pillow replacing Youngkyun in his arms.

 

Youngkyun moved to his phone, sliding to call back whoever had called him before holding the phone to his ear.

 

“Hello? Earth to Youngkyun? Where the fuck have you been?” Chanhee asked.

 

“Sleeping,” Youngkyun stated, moving his hand to rub at his eyes. His own answer was surprising to him, because he had shockingly slept last night. After his dream, and after crawling into Taeyang’s bed, he had fallen asleep, no dream scaring him awake. That was a first.

 

Youngkyun moved over to Taeyang’s bed, grabbing the pillow under his head and smacking him with it. “Get up,” he told him again, smiling at the whine Taeyang returned.

 

“It’s almost noon. Since when do you sleep until noon?” Chanhee asked with a hint of confusion in his voice.

 

“Since I went three nights with the bare minimum of sleep,” Youngkyun stated, rubbing his eyes again as Taeyang moved his arm over to Youngkyun’s wrist, pulling him down on the bed. 

 

“My warmth,” Taeyang mumbled, throwing his arm around Youngkyun's waist.

 

“Youngkyun, your insomnia isn’t back, is it?”

 

“Obviously not. As you’ve pointed out, I slept until noon,” Youngkyun stated, not daring to mention how late he had fallen asleep to be able to sleep that late. Youngkyun didn’t even want to think about his insomnia.

 

“Was only like eight hours, though,” Taeyang mumbled from his side. Youngkyun pushed his head away, the corners of his lips turning up at his annoyed groan.

 

“But even so, you only usually sleep for nine hours, max. And that's rare,” Chanhee commented, clearly unaware of what Taeyang said. “What time did you go to bed?”

 

“Since when did you keep track of my sleeping schedule?” Youngkyun asked, glancing over at Taeyang who more or less looked unconscious. 

 

“I assume you haven’t eaten breakfast yet, then?”

 

“Obviously not,” Youngkyun replied. “But wouldn’t it be more like lunch, now?”

 

“Well, I was calling you to see if you were coming to lunch with me,” Chanhee admitted. “But are you too busy cuddling with Taeyang?”

 

“We’re not cuddling.”

 

“I’m cuddling,” Taeyang mumbled, rolling over to throw his arm over Youngkyun’s stomach again.

 

“You’re getting up,” Youngkyun told him, pulling his arm away again and pulling the pillow from his arms. “We have things to do,” he whispered, making sure the phone was far away from him.

 

“Wait, no, nuh uh, I disagree,” Taeyang mumbled, pulling himself into a sluggish sitting position, blonde hair sticking up in every direction possible. 

 

“You disagree?” Youngkyun asked quietly.

 

“I am still tired as fuck, and I’m also hungry. I can’t do anything with this little brain capacity. We haven’t even started looking into the video yet, and I just need a break.”

 

“Do you think we have time for a break?” Youngkyun asked softly, making sure Chanhee still couldn’t hear.

 

“Doesn’t matter. You need a break from working anyways,” Taeyang said, shaking himself awake fully, or as much as he could be. “Lunch is on me. You and Chanhee.”

 

“Free lunch? Score, I’m in. Where are we meeting?” Chanhee asked excitedly.

 

Youngkyun raised an eyebrow to Taeyang as the boy seemed to sit in blank thought. Finally he shrugged. “Korean beef? Do you like hanwoo?”

 

Chanhee coughed from the other end of the line. “Hanwoo? That’s worth half of my rent. Do you understand how much money that is? Are you serious?”

 

Taeyang shrugged. “I don’t mind. Kyun deserves hanwoo if that’s what he wants.”

 

“I actually feel bad accepting a meal that expensive,” Youngkyun admitted, biting lightly on his lip, hissing again at the pain. Taeyang’s eyes looked from his eyes to his lips quickly with worry. Youngkyun shook his head, pulling his lips in to hide them.

 

“Do you want hanwoo or not?” Taeyang asked him, rubbing his eyes quickly and tilting his head with a small smile. “I’ll buy you anything you want to eat. But hanwoo is better than regular Korean beef, I promise.”

 

“Kyun, are you sure you didn’t suck his dick last night?”

 

“Chanhee! No!” Youngkyun protested, lifting his hand to rub at his eyes again.

 

“Ignore him,” Taeyang whispered with a small smile and a shake of his head, his eyes still dropping with tiredness. “You can have anything you want. I promised I would treat you, didn’t I?”

 

“This is too much, though,” Youngkyun said, pulling the phone away form his ear.

 

“Last night was a lot,” Taeyang whispered, making sure to keep his voice low enough to avoid Chanhee hearing it. “Don’t feel bad about some meat. Really, Kyun. You want hanwoo? I’ll buy you hanwoo.”

 

“I feel bad.”

 

Taeyang rolled his eyes with a smile. “I’m buying you hanwoo. Tell Chanhee to meet us at my dorm,” he decided with a smile, winking at Youngkyun before pushing himself off the bed.

 

“Meet us at Taeyang’s dorm,” Youngkyun repeated, rolling his eyes at the wink.

 

“You got yourself a sugar daddy. Nice going, Kyun. I’ll be there in ten.”

 

The called ended quickly, and Youngkyun barely had time to blink before Taeyang grabbed his wrist, pulling him over to his closet. Youngkyun didn’t object, just let him pull him along. 

 

“Why?”

 

“Well you’re not going out to lunch in my pajamas or a dirty school uniform,” Taeyang stated with a laugh. “What do you want to wear?”

 

Youngkyun’s eyes wandered around the closet, his lips parting at the sight of all the clothes Taeyang had. He must really like dressing nice, because he had a lot of nice looking clothes. Youngkyun never dressed this nice or fancy. He had never even been to a restaurant where he could eat hanwoo, so he had no idea how to dress.

 

“Choose an outfit for me,” Youngkyun decided with a smile. “You choose.”

 

“You’re going to let me dress you?”

 

Youngkyun nodded with a smile, patting Taeyang on the back as he wandered over to the bathroom, grabbing the spare toothbrush he had used the night before. 

 

“Did you sleep well last night?” Taeyang asked after a small silence. Youngkyun spit into the sink, rinsing his brush with water before sticking it back in his mouth. “If you don’t mind me asking?”

 

“Yeah, actually,” he said with a small smile. “After… that. Sorry, I don’t think I apologized for that earlier,” Youngkyun said with a blank expression, rinsing his brush a final time. He didn’t really want to think about his dream anymore than he had to.

 

“I’m glad you slept well,” Taeyang said, walking into the bathroom with a pile of folded clothes in his arms and a smile on his face. “And I told you, next time just come right to my bed. You don’t have to apologize.”

 

“Sorry- I- I mean-”

 

Taeyang smiled, tilting his head. “I’m not going to tell you not to say sorry,” Taeyang said with a shrug. “Apologizing can be a force of habit. I just don’t want you to actually  _ feel _ sorry for things that aren’t your fault, no matter how many times you say sorry.”

 

“Sorry,” Youngkyun said, a small smile coming onto his lips.

 

“Good,” Taeyang said, an even brighter smile finding its way onto his face.

 

“Thank you, Taeyang.”

 

“I should be thanking you,” Taeyang retorted, stepping out of the bathroom and closing the door behind him. “You’ve helped me so much in the past few days," he added from behind the door.

 

“You helped me too,” Youngkyun reminded him, pulling the shirt over his head quickly and pulling on the red and black striped turtleneck Taeyang had given him. “You helped me sleep well last night. That’s more than I could have ever asked for.”

 

“But you helped me get closer to finding my father than anyone else has,” Taeyang retorted as Youngkyun kicked off the pajama pants. He grabbed the black pants and belt Taeyang had given him and pulled them on. Lastly, he shrugged the leather jacket over his shoulders. He was pretty sure this entire outfit costed more than his entire wardrobe combined, but he wasn’t about to check any brand names. “I can never repay you for what you’ve helped me do so far, and what you’re still doing for me.”

 

“Just remember, we’re partners in crime.” 

 

Youngkyun turned his shoulders in front of the mirror, watching the shirt mold with the way his body moved. The whole outfit complimented his style perfectly, and he loved the small but vibrant pop of color in it. His entire look was actually impressive, and Youngkyun smiled at his reflection. He looked nice. He looked really nice. 

 

He grabbed Taeyang’s brush quickly, running it through his hair and running his fingers through it to give it more of a fluffy but stylish vibe, before reaching for the door knob.

 

“And you want to be my partner in crime?” Taeyang asked softly from the other end of the door. Youngkyun’s hand froze, hovering above the knob. “Even if you have to suffer because of it? Think about how much you’ve already had to go through because of me.”

 

“I’m your partner in crime,” Youngkyun stated again. “I can’t abandon my partner just because things are rough, especially knowing how bad things can get on my end. I’m your partner in crime, and I’ll stay your partner until you tell me to leave.”

 

Youngkyun let his hand fall to the knob to twist it, pushing the door open. Taeyang’s pout turned into a smile instantly at the sight of him, and Youngkyun’s instinct was to pull his arms across his chest like he was shrinking away.

 

“Don’t do that,” Taeyang laughed with a smile, gently moving his arms to his side. He ran his hands across the shirt, smoothing the fabric of it and fixing the pockets of the pants. He reached up to his hair, moving it around a bit before backing up, smiling at his work. “You look really good, Youngkyun.”

 

“I actually feel good,” he admitted with a smile. “Your clothes are nice.”

 

“They’re nice on you,” Taeyang corrected, grabbing his own clothes and backing into the bathroom and slowly closing the door. “The style suits you well.”

 

“You think?”

 

“Yeah, you should wear it more often,” he said from the other side of the closed door. 

 

Youngkyun laughed as he rolled his eyes. “Bold of you to assume I have the clothes to dress like this more often.”

 

“Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t buy them for you,” Taeyang replied with a laugh, and Youngkyun gaped at the door, although he knew Taeyang couldn’t see him.

 

“Don’t you-”

 

A knock came from the door, and Youngkyun rolled his eyes in Taeyang’s direction as he moved to open it. 

 

“That would be Chanhee,” he called out before opening the door, smiling at the boy.

 

“Woah, Kyun, you look nice, what happened?”

 

“Taeyang’s clothes.”

 

“Obviously,” Chanhee replied with a snort. “You don’t dress like this… ever. But like, you should. You look hot as fuck.”

 

“Thanks?”

 

Chanhee was wearing a white shirt under a light blue jean jacket, complemented with black pants and a decent belt. Slowly, Youngkyun noticed Chanhee’s eyes traveling around the dorm room.

 

“We’ll wait for you outside!” Youngkyun called to Taeyang quickly before pushing his way out the door and shutting it behind him. Youngkyun had forgotten about the wall art Taeyang had created with all his evidence, and again, Youngkyun wanted Chanhee having no part in it. 

 

“So I have to ask.”

 

“Please don’t.”

 

“ _ Now _ would you bang Taeyang?”

 

“No!” 

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes as Chanhee laughed, pushing him down the hallway and towards the stairs. They were only waiting outside for a few minutes when Taeyang came out, dressed in a thick, white turtleneck with a comfortable looking black coat hanging over it, buttoned up about half way up his chest and hanging down to his knees. He wore black dress pants and nice black shoes, his blonde hair styled down nicely as it swept to the side above his eyes. He just looked rich.

 

“Do you always dress like you own the entire continent of Asia when you’re not in your school uniform?” Youngkyun asked with a light laugh. Taeyang smiled back, spinning his keys around on his finger. 

 

“I can dress like this more often if you like it,” he said with a smile, walking past Youngkyun to the sports car parked obviously in front of the building. 

 

“Okay, okay, stop flirting,” Chanhee said with a smirk.

 

Taeyang walked over to the car, opening the door to the back seat and moving to hold open the door to the passenger seat. He stood by the door as Chanhee got in the back seat, closing the door gently behind him.

 

“This car is so nice, oh my god,” Chanhee commented in complete awe.

 

“Thank you,” Youngkyun said to Taeyang with a shy smile as he got in the passenger seat, letting Taeyang close the door after him.

 

“Such a gentleman,” Chanhee whispered. Youngkyun opted to ignore him.

 

“Can you drive like a reasonable human today?” Youngkyun asked, motioning for Chanhee to put his seat belt on as he secured his own.

 

Taeyang shrugged, smirking at Youngkyun. “I don’t know, can I? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

 

“Kyun, status report on Taeyang’s driving ability.”

 

“Absolutely terrible in this car,” Youngkyun replied immediately. “He should not be driving a sports car.”

 

Taeyang laughed, starting the car and looking in his mirrors, checking over his shoulders for people before pulling out of the parking spot quickly, stepping on the gas as soon as they were out and taking off towards the road.

 

“Holy fuck, Taeyang!” 

 

“Live a little,” Taeyang commented with a smile in the rear view mirror. 

 

“I won’t be able to if you pull out into another road like that!”

 

Youngkyun actually managed to loosen his grip on the leather seat, watching all the people and buildings fly past the windows as Taeyang weaved in between other cars, speeding around roads and letting the car carrying him, almost. It was like the car was driving itself as Taeyang sat back, one hand on the wheel, and his tongue sticking out between the corner of his lips.

 

“We’re going off campus?” Chanhee asked, confused.

 

“Nearest hanwoo restaurant is off campus,” Taeyang explained, passing another car without a blinker.

 

“Is this like a stress reliever for you?” Youngkyun asked with a snort. “I can see you smiling. You clearly enjoy this.”

 

“Specifically I enjoy instilling fear in my passengers while I drive,” Taeyang replied with a wider smile. “Is it still working on you?”

 

“It’s working on me!” Chanhee called from the back. 

 

“No. I know you can drive good, so I’m not particularly worried,” Youngkyun replied with a smirk. 

 

“Good to know you don’t care about dying!” Chanhee called. “But I’m very worried!”

 

“We’re here,” Taeyang announced after a little more chaotic driving with a laugh, turning the wheel sharply and spinning into the parking lot of the restaurant, more or less sliding into a parking spot and slamming on the brakes with a laugh. Taeyang didn’t stop laughing as he turned the engine off, watching Chanhee’s face in the rear view mirror with pleasure as Youngkyun gaped at him.

 

“I’m driving back,” Youngkyun announced, opening his door and stepping out, listening to Taeyang burst into laughter as he followed him out. 

 

“You wanna drive the sports car? You can’t even legally drive in the first place!”

 

“Then that says something considering I’m a better driver than you,” Youngkyun said with a snort, laughing as Chanhee pushed himself out of the car. 

 

“I never want to ride with you again.”

 

Taeyang just smiled, bouncing up to the restaurant and motioning for the two of them to follow. 

 

The restaurant was fancy. Granted, Youngkyun had never been to a fancy restaurant before, so maybe there were fancier places, but this place was pretty fancy. The windows lined the walls, and the tables sat along them, polished wood and neatly set. The waiters walked around with perfectly tucked in shirts and aprons tied around their backs. There was even relaxing music playing in the background for the customers to enjoy, and Youngkyun honestly felt himself smile just at the atmosphere of the place. It was so nice, and he wished internally that he could come again. He would never ask Taeyang, though.

 

“This place is nice,” Chanhee commented as they picked out their table, hanging their coats over the edges of the chairs and making themselves comfortable. “I’ve never been to such a nice restaurant.”

 

Taeyang smiled. “The food here is amazing; the hanwoo, especially. I don’t come here so often, but it’s really one of the best places.”

 

“Rich boy,” Chanhee muttered under his breath, and Taeyang snorted, his head falling back with a teeth-exposing smile on his face. 

 

“So, you’re Chanhee, Youngkyun’s roommate?” Taeyang asked, holding out his hand. “Now that I’m done scaring you with my driving, it’s nice to properly meet you.”

 

“You too, I guess?” Chanhee responded, reaching out to shake his hand. “But I still don’t know how you and Kyun even met. Because, no offense, but you two don’t seem like the type to naturally just start studying together. I wanna hear the story.”

 

Youngkyun bit down on his lip, cursing at himself but doing his best to ignore the pain. “He-”

 

“You’re too good at lying,” Chanhee said, cutting Youngkyun off. “I wanna hear it from Taeyang.”

 

“Oh great.”

 

“Remind me to get you something for that later,” Taeyang said, looking to Youngkyun’s lips. “Anyways, I suck at psychology. Like, I really, really suck at it. I figured, since it’s a subject about understanding people, I shouldn’t just ask to learn from someone who can do math and sciences or practical subjects well, I should ask from someone who understands people. I hear Youngkyun does a lot of that at school.”

 

Youngkyun shrugged, smiling at the waitress as she came to their table with waters. She took their orders quickly, and Youngkyun didn’t hesitate to pick up his cup. He didn’t realize until now how thirsty he was. 

 

“So now you’re study buddies? Just like that?”

 

Youngkyun and Taeyang nodded together, Taeyang sending him a not-so-subtle wink, but it was fine since Chanhee didn’t seem to make anything from it. 

 

“And you accepted?” Chanhee asked, turning to Youngkyun. “But you hated Taeyang.”

 

“You hated me?” Taeyang asked with a wide open smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners in amusement.

 

“You were rude to him in the hallways one time months ago and he never got over it,” Chanhee explained, Youngkyun gaping at him the whole time. 

 

“My apologies,” Taeyang said towards him with a smile. “Does the rent and food make up for it?”

 

“Look at you bribing my grudge away,” Youngkyun mumbled, his fingers tracing around the rim of his cup as a distraction.

 

“Is it working?” Taeyang asked, clearly amused. “Come on, I’m not that bad. We’re pals now.”

 

Youngkyun looked up to Taeyang with a snort, only to see him mouthing “partners in crime” in his direction, and he lost all his control to hold back his laugh.

 

“Fine, fine, fine, you’re forgiven,” Youngkyun said with a shake of his head, laughing. 

 

The mood around the table was carefree throughout the entire waiting time, the three boys laughing at each other and telling dumb stories, most of which Youngkyun had surprisingly forgotten about. 

 

The mood lightened even more when the food arrived, Taeyang smiling like the sun as he started cutting the meat, passing it around all the while talking about how impressed they were going to be with it. 

 

“Here,” Taeyang offered, holding a piece of hanwoo with his chopsticks, his hand cupped underneath it, held out for Youngkyun. “Eat, eat.”

 

Youngkyun reached behind his head, gathering all his hair in his hands to hold it away from his face and leaning forward, letting Taeyang feed him.

 

“Is it good?” Taeyang asked with a smile, placing his chopsticks down and pushing some towards Chanhee. “Chanhee, try it, try it.” 

 

Chanhee smiled, looking to Youngkyun first. Honestly, Youngkyun had never had better tasting meat before. The meat wasn’t grainy like most was, and it had amazing flavor. His opinion must have been visible on his face, because Chanhee and Taeyang both started laughing together.

 

“This is really good,” Youngkyun finally said, holding his hand in front of his mouth as he chewed. “I want more, I want more.”

 

“Finish eating that piece,” Taeyang said with a laugh, picking up another piece and popping it in his own mouth. “Chanhee, is it good?”

 

“I never want to leave this place.”

 

Youngkyun started laughing, picking up his chopsticks and reaching in for another piece. He leaned over the grill a bit, still holding his hair back with his left hand as he stuck another piece of meat in his mouth.

 

“Don’t you have a hair tie?” Chanhee asked, grabbing another piece. 

 

Youngkyun shook his head. “It’s whatever. I’ll deal with it.”

 

“Why don’t you cut your hair?” Taeyang asked, reaching for another piece. “Don’t get me wrong, your hair is really pretty, and it suits you well. I’m just asking, since you seem a bit annoyed by it.”

 

Chanhee snorted, reaching for his water. “Youngkyun has never cut his hair shorter than his chin. Never.”

 

“Really?” Taeyang gaped at him.

 

Youngkyun smiled, grabbing another piece of meat. “I don’t cut my hair short,” he said with a laugh. 

 

“Why not?”

 

“Another time, another time,” Youngkyun insisted, savoring the flavor of the meat. 

 

“Wait, but I’m curious too,” Chanhee insisted, leaning forward. “You’ve never told me.”

 

Youngkyun snorted, reaching for his water. “My mom said she liked it long,” Youngkyun admitted, taking a big gulp of water after saying it.

 

“Oh, shit… Kyun, I’m so sorry,” Chanhee said immediately, shrinking into his seat.

 

Youngkyun shook his head. “No, no, no, please don’t make the mood bad. She just said it looked nice on me, so I like to keep it this way. It was the last thing she said to me.”

 

“Oh…” Taeyang seemed to snap into realization, his eyes going wide and his mouth coming to a close. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for asking I just-”

 

Youngkyun waved him off. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, so don’t feel bad about it,” he encouraged, reaching his hands back to tuck his hair behind his ears. “Okay, Taeyang, why blonde?”

 

“What?”

 

“We’re talking about hair, right? Why blonde? Why did you decide blonde? I’m curious.”

 

Chanhee nodded, picking up another piece of meat. “I’m curious too. Aren’t heirs usually supposed to look professional? Like, original dark, bland hair?”

 

Taeyang snorted. “That’s why I chose blonde, because it’s like the exact opposite.”

 

“Your dad approved of that?” Chanhee asked, reaching for his water.

 

Youngkyun froze, his breath stuck in his throat as he looked carefully to Taeyang, waiting for his response. But Taeyang just laughed and nodded. 

 

“My dad told me to go pink!”

 

Chanhee snorted, covering his mouth as he laughed. Slowly, Youngkyun let himself start breathing again as he joined in laughing, finding it hilarious that his father’s first choice was pink, of all colors.

 

“Why pink?!”

 

“He saw some model in a magazine wear it and insisted I do it,” Taeyang admitted with a laugh. “I think his next choice was dark blue with sparkles. He was really into the idea.”

 

Youngkyun couldn’t help but snort at the idea of Taeyang with sparkly blue hair, and Taeyang just placed his hand on his chest in dramatic offense. 

 

“Okay, okay, Taeyang has to play this or that with us,” Chanhee insisted towards Youngkyun, and the idea alone was enough to bring him near hysterics. 

 

“This or that?”

 

“Kyun and I always play when we go out together. It’s like tradition. Let’s play, let’s play,” Chanhee insisted again, reaching for one of the few pieces of meat left. “A winter lasting an entire year or a summer of normal length, but the temperature is always humid?”

 

“Winter, obviously,” Youngkyun answered immediately.

 

“Winter, because you can bundle up. In summer you just have to melt and deal with it,” Taeyang agreed.

 

“Okay, what about being a professional singer or professional dancer?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“Dancer, dancer,” Chanhee decided easily. “I’d look so cool. If I was a good dancer I’d even be able to walk cool.”

 

“Dancer,” Taeyang agreed with a nod. “But that’s a hard one, because if you’re a good singer, then you have a nice voice, and people enjoy listening to you,” Taeyang pointed out.

 

“Oh, good point,” Chanhee agreed. “But nah, I think I’d still stick with dancer.”

 

“My turn?” Taeyang asked. Youngkyun nodded and Taeyang brought his hand up to his chin in thought. “Being the most beautiful person ever or being the most stylish?”

 

“I’m already beautiful,” Chanhee stated, flipping his imaginary long hair. “So I’ll be stylish.”

 

“I’ll be beautiful, then, because I can just take fashion advice from Chanhee, and that way I have both.”

 

“Woah- that’s cheating, Kyun,” Chanhee said, gaping at the smiley boy.

 

“You’re just mad you didn’t let me choose first,” Youngkyun said with a laugh, grabbing another piece of meat. 

 

“My turn again,” Chanhee said with a smile. “Always have bad dreams, or never be able to dream again?”

 

The table went silent, but Youngkyun couldn’t exactly tell if Taeyang was silent because of him or not. He cleared his throat, trying to clear the air before it became too dense, but it didn’t seem to be working very well. 

 

“Never dream again,” Youngkyun whispered, his voice cracking.

 

“Kyun…?”

 

“Maybe we shouldn’t play anymore,” Taeyang suggested quickly, trying to shake the idea away. “Right, Youngkyun?”

 

“It was just the meat,” Youngkyun lied, knowing it would pass right through Taeyang, but hoping at least Chanhee would believe it. “Got stuck in my throat.”

 

“Okay,” Chanhee said softly, obviously not buying the whole lie. 

 

“Check?” Taeyang asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

“Check,” Chanhee agreed.

 

“Check,” Youngkyun confirmed with a nod. 


	10. It's Not Fair

Youngkyun rubbed his eyes, rolling over in bed again. It wasn’t even the fact that he was tired that was pissing him off at this point. Of course, Youngkyun was tired. Over the past five days he had maybe gotten just a little over fifteen hours of sleep collectively. He was pissed because he couldn’t fall asleep.

 

He flipped over again, hoping one way or another, he would just magically find the perfect spot and doze off into a dreamless sleep, but he knew that wasn’t happening. He had spent many nights like this, tossing and turning until the sun rose, but just the thought of spending another night like this was driving him insane. He hadn’t had this much trouble sleeping since he left his aunt’s and came here to room with Chanhee. 

 

It was so obvious why he was having trouble sleeping, and why his insomnia was back, but he just wanted to ignore everything about that. He just wanted to sleep. 

 

It had come to the point where, some time after midnight, Youngkyun had begun thinking of everything him and Taeyang needed to do. He was hoping to think so hard that his brain would just sort of give up, or to maybe give himself so much to do tomorrow that he would physically tire himself out to the point of exhaustion.

 

Seokwoo. Whoever Seokwoo was, was the first thing on his mind. Youngkyun wanted to learn everything about Seokwoo he could, and he wanted to look into him and the car.

 

It had come to his mind that those cars most likely had dash cams, and so that was his second plan for tomorrow. First, look into Seokwoo, second, get the footage from the dash cam. 

 

The next thing Youngkyun wanted to do was look into the pictures and videos Taeyang had taken from the warehouse. Granted, he was going to ask Taeyang to do the majority of the observations on those. Really, Youngkyun was already having a hard enough time because of that, he really didn’t want to make it worse on himself.

 

However, now that Youngkyun was thinking about it even more, he was starting to realize how awake he was. The planning wasn’t tiring him out in the least bit. It might have even made him even more irritated with himself.

 

He sighed, running his hands through his hair and rolling over again in bed. What time was it now? From the small amount of light coming in from the window, Youngkyun had to guess it somewhere around six in the morning. How fun.

 

Youngkyun forced himself up, swinging his feet over his bed and pushing himself up. He moved over to his closet, grabbing a black t-shirt and blue jeans, glancing quickly over to Chanhee’s sleeping form before hastily dressing himself. He ran a brush through his hair and brushed his teeth at record speed, before slipping his shoes on, his phone in his pocket, and walking out the door with a light jacket in hand. 

 

Youngkyun wasn’t sure how many times he had walked around the campus that morning, just trying to give himself something to do, but he knew it was enough for the sky to turn blue and the sun to start shining. He hadn’t even done anything while he walked around. He just enjoyed the silence, walking around with nothing to keep him company but the sounds of his shoes against the sidewalk. It wasn’t even boring. Walking without a destination, nothing to keep him company but the silence and the rising sun felt so familiar, and Youngkyun smiled brightly at the thought. He missed that familiarity. That moment, when the sun had risen and the silence had surrounded him, what felt so familiar to him now, was one of the happiest things for him. He wished he could enjoy that silent walk every day.

 

“Youngkyun?”

 

Youngkyun turned around, smiling blankly at Taeyang, who stood behind him with black jeans and a snug, faded red turtleneck tucked into the waistline.

 

“How did you know I was out here?” he asked with a smile, walking back to meet Taeyang.

 

“Chanhee called.”

 

“Chanhee has your number?” Youngkyun asked, confused. Even he didn’t have Taeyang’s number, which was sort of a lie. The truth was, they had never exchanged numbers.

 

“Chanhee says you keep a small book in your desk with the numbers and social media accounts of every student here,” Taeyang pointed out.

 

Youngkyun smiled calmly. “I like knowing I can contact people and get information,” he explained. Taeyang nodded, like the idea of having all that information wasn't completely intrusive.

 

“Are you good?”

 

“Huh?” Youngkyun asked back with a tilt of his head.

 

“Chanhee said- he said you weren’t sleeping and- well, he mentioned, he mentioned your-”

 

“It’s not insomnia god dammit,” he lied, becoming angry at himself. He moved to bite his lip but quickly recoiled from the action. “I’m fine. Everybody has nights where they can’t sleep.”

 

“Okay,” Taeyang agreed, clearly dropping the subject. “So… how about breakfast before we get into stuff?”

 

Youngkyun nodded. “Sure. What did you have in mind?”

 

Taeyang sighed as they started walking. He shrugged his shoulders in thought while Youngkyun waited, enjoying his company. “What if we just went to the little market by the book shops and bought a whole box of cereal and just ate from that?”

 

Youngkyun couldn’t help but snort. “You want to just buy an entire box of cereal?”

 

“Yes, I’m being completely serious,” Taeyang said with a smile. “We should just eat from a cereal box. I’m not in the mood for fancy foods right now.”

 

Youngkyun smiled with a nod. “Well I’m not arguing. Okay, let’s go get a box of cereal!”

 

It didn’t take very long for the two to choose a good cereal they both liked. They ended up settling on the chex with the strawberry choco balls, because immediately upon seeing it they both eyed each other like kids who want to pair up for a project in class. 

 

Daisy, the American exchange student who worked at the counter, looked a bit confused when she saw the two of them together buying a single box of cereal, but she didn’t really say much as Taeyang paid. Youngkyun realized, at this moment, that it was still a secret to the rest of the campus that him and Taeyang were friends, dare he say it. 

 

Their original idea was to eat at one of the small window counters in the shop, but somehow the two ended up behind the store, leaning back against the wall with the box between them. It was a good day to sit outside, too, because the weather was nice and there wasn’t too much wind to bother them. The sun hid behind grey and white clouds which layered the sky, but it didn’t cast a gloomy shadow over everyone. It was like the clouds were shading them all from the sun, and just giving them a small break. Youngkyun also enjoyed how he didn’t have to squint just to see straight because of the blinding sun.

 

“Let’s play that game,” Taeyang suggested after a long period of silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, rather it was relaxing. 

 

“This or that?” Youngkyun asked, reaching into the box for another handful of cereal.

 

“No, no, the game we played in the car, before.”

 

“Ah, okay,” Youngkyun agreed, popping a strawberry choco ball onto his tongue. “If you had the chance to travel outside of Korea, would you?”

 

Taeyang laughed, reaching for a handful of cereal. “I’ve been to America, Japan, China, England, you name it.”

 

“Fucking rich kid,” Youngkyun muttered with a smile, enjoying the laugh it brought to Taeyang. 

 

“I wouldn’t leave now, though. Definitely not.”

 

“Okay, yeah, but I meant in general,” Youngkyun clarified. 

 

“Then yeah, probably. I like travelling.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, reaching for more cereal and moving his elbow to nudge Taeyang for his turn.

 

“If you had to tell the entire school we were best friends, who you do it?”

 

Youngkyun raised an eyebrow at the boy as he chewed. “Why do you ask?”

 

“The way the lady at the desk looked at us, like it was weird we were hanging out together.”

 

Youngkyun snorted. “That’s because everyone knows I held a huge grudge against you,” he admitted. “But no. Only because- and  _ only _ because I wouldn’t want to offend Chanhee. He holds the title as my best friend.”

 

“Okay,” Taeyang agreed with a laugh. “Can I reword my question?”

 

“Nope, me first. Do you know how to cook?”

 

“That doesn’t start with ‘if’,” Taeyang pointed out.

 

Youngkyun nodded, reaching into the box for more cereal. “I know, but I need to know the answer to this to make my question.”

 

“No, I don’t know how to cook.”

 

“If I offered, would you trust me to teach you?” Youngkyun asked with a laugh, tossing the cereal into his mouth.

 

“God no, not after the way I’ve driven with you in the passenger seat,” Taeyang admitted with a laugh. “That’s revenge waiting to happen.”

 

“Fair point, fair point.”

 

“If you had to tell everyone at this school we were _friends_ , would you be embarrassed to say it?”

 

“Not at all,” Youngkyun said with a shake of his head. “The thing is, I know everybody at this school. Now, they can say whatever they want about me, because rumors are rumors and truth is truth and it all gets around one way or another. But honestly, I’ve never really cared what others thought of me. Chanhee’s opinion is the only one that matters, and I think I’d put you on that level too. So yeah, fuck everybody else.”

 

Taeyang nodded, a small smile forming at the corner of his lips. Honestly, it was times like this that confused Youngkyun the most. He had been so overly irritated with his lack of sleep just a half an hour ago, but now, seeing Taeyang relax, even in the situation he was in, somehow helped Youngkyun relax, too. It was like Taeyang just had the ability to affect the way he felt, just by smiling or acting like they weren’t in the middle of a huge mess.

 

“If you could know the truth, like, magically just know the truth about everything, instantly, would you want to?” Youngkyun asked. “Like, if you thought to yourself, ‘hey, I wonder what they use to make this cereal,’ you would just know.”

 

“Absolutely,” Taeyang agreed with a nod. “That would be fantastic, actually.”

 

“But what if you, like, use it by accident?”

 

“Well, then that would be my fault,” Taeyang admitted, hands up in the air as he stretched his shoulders out “Okay, my turn?” Youngkyun nodded. “If you could know everything in the world right here, right now, would you say yes? Like, if you could know everybody’s secrets, and everybody’s opinions of you, would you want to?”

 

“Absolutely,” Youngkyun agreed with a nod.

 

“But what if those opinions hurt you? Like, I know you said you don’t care, but everybody cares a little bit. What if you end up knowing more than you want to?”

 

Youngkyun nodded, flipping over Taeyang’s words in his mind. “I think I’d want to decide if I can handle that for myself,” he decided. “Nobody else should decide whether I can handle the information, it’s my job to decide that. And if I make a bad decision, that’s on me. But it should be my choice, nobody else’s.”

 

Taeyang nodded, staring blankly out into the field. “And you think you could handle that?”

 

Youngkyun moved his tongue to lick at his lips. “I think I could handle it if I was prepared to,” he stated, making sure he worded himself carefully.

 

Taeyang nodded, letting Youngkyun’s words settle in the silence around them. “We should get started.”

 

“Yeah… we should.”

 

↔

 

“I can’t believe I thought going into some empty apartment was a bad idea,” Youngkyun mumbled, shaking his head. “Because compared to this, that shit was fucking nothing. What the hell kind of plan is this, Taeyang?”

 

“Shush,” Taeyang replied in a whisper, swatting at his arm. “It’s a good plan.”

 

“Do you know how rare it is that people actually stick to their schedules?” Youngkyun asked, pulling at the collar of the black shirt hugging his body. “It’s pretty fucking rare. We need three people to be perfectly on time for this to work, and you think that’s just magically going to happen?”

 

“Kinam and Jaejin will be walking out that door any second now,” Taeyang stated. “They’ll leave when they’re supposed to, and when they do, we should have around ten minutes with the heavy traffic before Seokwoo gets here, which gives us ten minutes to get the dash cam footage. It’s easy.”

 

“Pft.” Youngkyun rolled his eyes, but returned his full focus to the company doors. He shifted his feet quietly, wincing as the sound of them scuffing against the concrete echoed out. Any second now… any second now… any…

 

“Told you,” Taeyang whispered in his ears.

 

Youngkyun shook his head, watching the two men leave the main building, to go to their cars. Kinam went to the red car, just as Taeyang said he would, and Jaejin went to the grey car, as Taeyang said he would. The two cars turned on, their engines echoing throughout the parking garage, and within seconds they were gone.

 

“Five, four, three, two, okay, go,” Youngkyun counted down, listening as the sound of the cars drifted further and further away. Together, Youngkyun and Taeyang ran out from behind the car they had been hiding behind, quickly dashing over to the black cars parked side by side against the edge of the wall. They all looked identical, except for the fact that Youngkyun had one particular license plate memorized.

 

“Here it is,” Youngkyun whispered, motioning him over to the car. Taeyang tossed him the stolen keys quickly, reaching into the bag on his shoulders to pull the laptop out. Youngkyun stuck the key in the keyhole, unlocking the car and reaching inside for the camera quickly. He pulled it out easily, memorizing exactly as it had been so he could put it back perfectly.

 

“It’s hard to breath in here,” Taeyang complained.

 

“Don’t take off your mask,” Youngkyun ordered, handing him the camera and setting up the cord. They plugged the camera in easily, Taeyang going to work on the computer to download the videos.

 

“Shit, they don’t clean these things out,” Taeyang stated, adjusting his mask to cover his nose more. Youngkyun nodded, leaning down to look at all the files popping up on the screen one after another

 

“Are they dated?”

 

“Yes, but shouldn’t we download more than just that one day?” Taeyang asked, clicking on the video to download it to his laptop. “I mean, it’s nice evidence if there’s something here, you know?”

 

“Get as many as you can,” Youngkyun decided, looking behind him quickly, scanning the lot and pulling his mask higher up on his face. “Focus on the more recent ones, but get as many as you can.”

 

Taeyang nodded, downloading video after video. Youngkyun watched the screen as the videos queued near the bottom to load, the bars beside them slowly climbing up to show how much had been downloaded. “Shit these are taking forever to download.”

 

“Get what you can,” Youngkyun told him, looking back over his shoulder again.

 

“Get the key back to Sanghyuk and come back quickly,” Taeyang told him, glancing up from the computer screen. “We can lock the car without it.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, grabbing the keys from Taeyang and holding them tightly in his hand to avoid the extra sound. 

 

“Stay hidden between the cars,” he advised quickly before running off towards the exit. He ran up the stairs, ignoring how out of breath he was, and just focused on how loud his steps were. He hoped nobody else was in the lot, like Taeyang had predicted. He really couldn’t run without his shoes echoing around the building, and being caught now would really suck.

 

He ran up to the stairs, opposed to the ramps for the cars, and tired himself out by the time he got to the top floor of the parking garage. He just kept pushing himself to keep running, though, as he made his way to the front gate by running along the wall.

 

“Kyun? Are you guys done already?” his friend asked, turning to him with wide, glossy eyes.

 

Youngkyun smiled, holding up the ring of keys. “Here to return the keys,” he said, dangling the keys in front of him between his thumb and forefingers before tossing them carelessly to the boy, who caught them like there wasn’t a chance he could have dropped them.

 

Sanghyuk nodded, turning the keys around in his gloved hands while he examined them. “I’ll get them back after I see that car run through here,” he informed him.

 

“Don’t forget to call when you see it,” Youngkyun reminded him. Sanghyuk nodded, sending a wink his way. “Thanks again for helping us.”

 

“No problem, man. They’ll never even know these keys were gone. Plus, you know I love stealing shit.”

 

“Lucky to have someone who loves criminal activity as much as you on my side,” Youngkyun said with a quick laugh and a smile before running back down, quickly making his way down the stairs to Taeyang. He looked around himself every few seconds to make sure nobody was around him, before squeezing himself between the cars where Taeyang sat. The boy looked back at him briefly, only to check that it was him, and not somebody else, before looking back to the computer.

 

“How far are we?” Youngkyun asked, leaning over to see the computer, not that he would be able to get the answer from that.

 

“I have everything from the past week,” Taeyang told him, clicking to download another video.

 

“That should be good, then. Let me hook it back up,” Youngkyun said, letting Taeyang hand him the camera. Youngkyun leaned into the car carefully, reaching up to reattach the camera. He put every wire back where it was supposed to go, and angled the camera perfectly, just as it had been. Just as he finished checking over the car, to make sure he hadn’t left anything behind in it, he heard a soft buzzing sound from Taeyang’s pocket.

 

“Sanghyuk is calling,” Taeyang hissed, grabbing his arm and pulling him from the car. Quickly, Youngkyun locked the doors and closed them, pushing Taeyang to crouch behind the car. 

 

“Hide, hide, we don’t have time to get out, stay quiet,” he hissed, watching as a dark blue car pulled into the garage, swinging into its spot like it owned the place. 

 

Youngkyun furrowed his brows, watching as a tall man stepped out of the car, dressed in a fancy suit with his black hair gelled up oh-so professionally.

 

He looked around the garage with a quick swoop, causing Youngkyun to duck down behind the car quickly, holding his breathe in fear that he would be heard. He felt Taeyang’s hand grab onto his shoulder, his fingers burying themselves into the fabric of his shirt while his heart thumped in his chest like a bat beating at a cage to be let out.

 

“He’s gone,” Taeyang whispered.

 

“Let’s go,” Youngkyun said with a nod, taking one last glance at the garage to confirm the boy had left before racing towards the door with Taeyang.

 

↔

 

“I’m still shocked you actually know somebody who steals for a living,” Taeyang said with a laugh, setting his laptop down on the small table in his dorm. “How the hell did you two even meet?”

 

“He tried to pickpocket me on the subway,” Youngkyun recalled with a laugh. “Yeah, I didn’t call the cops on him because-” because he was carrying Jaejoong’s drugs on him at the time. Well, he couldn’t exactly tell Taeyang that. “I don’t know, it just didn’t feel right at the time,” Youngkyun lied with a shrug, hating the way it tasted in his mouth. “But yeah, I helped him steal a few things and he helped me get a few things, so now we just kind of help each other out whenever.”

 

“That’s the weirdest friendship I have ever heard of,” Taeyang said with a shake of his head, opening the laptop and plugging in the charger. Youngkyun pulled his chair up beside Taeyang.

 

“Sanghyuk is a good guy, though. I promise. He likes to steal from hospitals so he can give medicine to kids who can’t afford it, and he steals from convenience stores a lot for himself and others. He’s a natural born kleptomaniac.”

 

“Yeah, like how the hell did he manage to get those keys?”

 

Youngkyun shrugged with a laugh, propping his elbows up on the table and looking at the computer. 

 

“You got me. Sanghyuk just has that ability to steal shit. But, hey, he helps me so I’m not questioning him.”

 

They left it on that note, Taeyang moving his mouse to open the folder of videos they had saved from the car. 

 

“Should we start with the first one from two days ago?” Youngkyun asked, and Taeyang nodded, clicking on the video.

 

The video started as the car turned on, pulling out of the parking garage and heading down the road. Youngkyun nudged Taeyang to skip through the drive to the apartment, because there would be nothing of use without the sound. 

 

Taeyang dragged the cursor through the video, pulling it to the moment the car pulled into the lot. It ended before anyone even got out of the car. 

 

“This is bullshit,” Taeyang mumbled, opening the next video. It started when the car began pulling out of the parking lot, and Youngkyun expected it to end that way as well. Taeyang was ready to exit the video when the car pulled to a stop in front of the factory, but the video kept playing. Taeyang’s hand faltered by the mouse, frozen as he watched.

 

An unmasked man stepped out of the car first, waving his hands around with a bat wedged under his armpit, clearly mocking or making fun of someone. 

 

“That’s Kinam, from earlier,” Taeyang whispered, still completely captured by everything going on in the video. 

 

A tall man with his hat and mask on jumped out at Kinam, wrapping his arms around his neck in a playful choke hold and pulling his mask up onto his face, most likely scolding him for taking it off in the first place. Kinam reached forward with a smile, evident through his eyes, as he pulled the tall man’s mask down. 

 

Seokwoo rolled his eyes at Kinam, pulling it back up.

 

“Oh,” Taeyang said, completely devoid of emotion, his eyes locked onto Seokwoo as he laughed on the screen. “So you were right. Seokwoo was there.”

 

The video ended after the two boys banged on the car hood, clearly waiting for the last guy, whoever he was. Once the video was over, the two of them just sat there, watching the empty screen and debating silently what to do next. 

 

“What can you tell me about Seokwoo and Kinam? They’re the only two people we know were there,” Youngkyun finally spoke, moving the mouse to close the video. 

 

He watched Taeyang gulp, looking around the room like he had to find the words. 

 

“I don’t know much about Kinam,” Taeyang spoke softly. “I know he works in the same department as Seokwoo and I know he’s been a loyal employee under my father for a while.”

 

“What about… a- about... Seokwoo?” Youngkyun stuttered out, knowing the question was riding on thin ice. Taeyang’s lack of emotion towards the whole situation was scarier than any emotion he could show.

 

“Seokwoo,” Taeyang repeated with an emotionless laugh, barely more than a choppy exhale of breath. “We met at some business party when we were little. His dad is a big shot, working under my dad of course. Our parents used to have us hang out when they had to do important work stuff, and we always talked about running the company together. We had this big idea that we were going to both be the CEOs of FNC,” he admitted with a laugh, shaking his head. His lips curled up at the memories, but his eyes looked like he was in pain. “We even went to the same grade school together. We always played on the playground together and ate our lunches together.” Taeyang shook his head, sticking his tongue out and sucking his lips in. “When I started getting involved in the company, Seokwoo would make me my favorite cookies all the time,” he recalled, another laugh coming out. His eyes started to gloss over, his voice becoming more and more scratchy and rough. “I remember my dad trying to make the same cookies for me, but they weren’t the same. He tried to fool me once, by saying they were Seokwoo’s, but somehow I knew they weren’t. Seokwoo’s cookies were different, and I just- he just- he was always there for me when things got hard. We were best friends. Even when we got involved with the company, and started working, and went to different schools. Through everything, we managed to still be friends.”

 

Youngkyun reached forward for Taeyang’s shoulders as the tears began to fall, letting the boy collapse into his side. 

 

“We still called each other on weekends, and he always helped me with my homework,” Taeyang continued, sniffling as he talked. “Even though I’m younger, I helped him with his work, too, and we just stayed like that. We went out to eat like friends do- but, but all of the sudden everything started to stop and I don’t know what happened. He stopped calling as often and we stopped meeting as often, and then my dad went missing and he brushed me off. I think he even blocked my number. He hasn’t- he hasn’t answer my calls in what? Three days now, I think. He just- we used to-”

 

“Shh,” Youngkyun coaxed him, reaching up to pet at his hair.

 

“It’s not fair,” Taeyang cried, his face turning red as the tears fell down his cheeks like a waterfall. “It’s not fair! Everyone around me is turning away, and now my best friend! He was my best friend! He was one of the only people I had left and he left me too. Everyone is leaving me and I- I can’t- I don’t know what I can do! What can I do when I can’t even trust my best friend?!” Taeyang cried, digging his fingers into Youngkyun’s shirt, pulling him closer as he cried. Youngkyun felt Taeyang’s screams dig into him, his pain emanating like a contagious disease that would rip through anyone it found. His tears stung on Youngkyun’s neck like pins jabbing at him. “It hurts! It hurts so bad, Youngkyun,” he cried, sniffling as Youngkyun wrapped his arms around him. 

 

Slowly, Youngkyun started rocking back and forth, cradling Taeyang in his arms as he rocked, petting his hair with one hand and trying to comfort him with the other. He didn’t speak. He couldn’t, really. What was there to say?

 


	11. Predator and Prey

“So, Kyun, just out of curiosity, are you actually coming to class today or are you just going to screw around with your new boy toy?”

 

“Fuck off, Chanhee,” Youngkyun responded with a roll of his eyes. “Something more important than an extra credit class came up.”

 

“His dick? Or something  _ actually _ important?”

 

“Why do you have to insist every time we are together we’re doing something sexual? Because let me make this clear. We’re  _ not, _ ” Youngkyun said, practically spelling it out for the boy.

 

“Well then why the fuck did you miss class yesterday? You signed up for it in advance and everything, which is a problem on its own because who the fuck signs up for extra credit classes on a Sunday?”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, pulling the phone away from his ear to check the time, looking up at the sun with squinted eyes like he needed to confirm it. “Can you just come pick me up?”

 

“I guess,” Chanhee said, drawing it out like it was some big hassle for him. 

 

“Thank you, love you,” Youngkyun responded with a smile. 

 

“Gross. Barf. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

 

Taeyang coughed from behind him as he hung up, stuffing the phone in his pocket. “Thank you for staying the night,” Taeyang said with a kind smile. Youngkyun wasn’t about to mention how sleeping at Taeyang’s place was probably the only reason he got any actual sleep, but he was thankful to the blonde boy as well.

 

“Call me if you need anything, okay? I don’t care if it’s in the middle of class,” Youngkyun told him, taping his finger on his phone through his pocket.

 

Taeyang rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you after classes anyways. Just don’t forget to catch Juho before he leaves.”

 

“Bold of you to assume I don’t know his exact schedule,” Youngkyun said with a smile and a weak shrug.

 

“People aren’t always on time,” Taeyang mocked, smiling widely and jumping back as Youngkyun reached forward to lightly smack his shoulder. It hurt to see Taeyang smile now, because Youngkyun knew he wasn’t happy. The boy had cried for a long time last night, and though Youngkyun managed to fall asleep, he wasn’t so sure about Taeyang. It was like he was just pretending to be okay. And though it was convincing, Youngkyun knew.

 

“Don’t fail your test,” Youngkyun told him, calling him out with a pointed finger. “I’ll be mad we studied for nothing.”

 

Taeyang snorted. “We didn’t study.”

 

Youngkyun shook his head. “No, we did, just not psychology like we were supposed to.”

 

“Get in the fucking car, loser!” Chanhee screamed through an open window, slamming on the brakes in front of Taeyang’s dorm with an added honk of the horn.

 

Youngkyun held his hand to his heart, gaping at his friend as he walked over to the car.

 

“Do you need a ride, too, Taeyang?”

 

Taeyang waved at them with a shake of his head. “My classes are in the other direction. I’m good! Have fun!”

 

“You too!” Chanhee called to him, waiting until Youngkyun had his seat belt on to slowly pull away from the curb. “So, really, you two aren’t dating?”

 

“No!” Youngkyun stated with a laugh. “How many times are you going to ask or insinuate that?”

 

“I’m just saying,” Chanhee said with a shrug, pulling out of the parking lot. “You two are close now. Like, I didn’t know two people could become close friends like that during the span of a week! I mean, you stay over his dorm all the time, which, by the way, is against the rules.” Youngkyun scoffed, but let Chanhee continue. “So I’m just saying, there had to be some kind of intimacy involved to make that happen.

 

The very last thing Youngkyun was going to tell Chanhee was the amount of panic attacks he had had in front of Taeyang in the past week, how he could only actually sleep around Taeyang now, and how many times Taeyang had cried. Yeah, Youngkyun was not mentioning a single one of those ‘intimate’ things, which, for the record, were only intimate in Youngkyun’s mind because they were, as one would call them, close moments. However, Youngkyun did not once feel ‘intimate’ while having a mental break down, and for some reason, he felt the need to make that perfectly clear in his mind.

 

“You look like you’re trying to decide if sucking someone’s dick counts as intimate,” Chanhee spoke up.

 

“What? That’s not what I’m thinking of,” Youngkyun defended. “And for fuck’s sake, can you  _ please _ stop putting that image in my head every time you speak?!”

 

Chanhee bursted out laughing, banging on the wheel with his hand as he drove, trying to keep his eyes on the road. “So you’re picturing it?”

 

“No!”

 

“That’s what you said.”

 

“There is a big difference between- you know what?! I don’t need to explain this! Just drive!” 

 

To say the least, Youngkyun’s objections did not make Chanhee stop laughing. In fact, his friend wouldn’t shut up about him and Taeyang for the entire car ride, which, granted, wasn’t that long. It felt like an eternity for Youngkyun, though.

 

↔

 

“Hi!” Youngkyun smiled at the boy in front of him, hand up in the air in a friendly wave while he leaned against the wall beside him. “Baek Juho, right?”

 

“Oh god, what the fuck do you want, Youngkyun?”

 

“You know me?” Youngkyun asked with a tilt of his head and a raised eyebrow. 

 

“Who doesn’t know you?” Juho asked with a roll of his eyes. “What does the most attention hungry kid in the school want from me?”

 

“You know what? Ouch, that hurt,” Youngkyun said, holding his hand to his chest. “I don’t want your attention, I want your time. Spare a few minutes for a chat?”

 

“Do I have a choice?”

 

“Everyone has a choice,” Youngkyun admitted with a shrug. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it to prevent himself from laughing at the thought in his mind. He licked his lips as he composed himself. “Now, you can either have a chat with me, right now, or I can tell Taeyang that you two never slept together, which I think he’ll be shocked to know.”

 

“How the fuck do you know that?” Juho asked, stepping threateningly close to him. 

 

It was the funniest thing, actually. After finding out Juho was the person they needed to talk to, Youngkyun had asked Taeyang, as an obvious joke, if the two had ever met before. And to Youngkyun’s surprise, his friend had said ‘no’.

 

“I just do,” he responded with a shrug, turning around with a gesture for Juho to follow him. “Also, it won’t be just Taeyang I tell. I think the whole school is dying for something new to laugh at, don’t you think?”

 

“Fucking prick,” Juho muttered, and Youngkyun just smiled, continuing to walk with Juho on his heel.

 

Youngkyun led Juho to the library, where Taeyang was already set up in one of the study rooms. He made sure to count the doors to the fourth one, opening the door to lead Juho inside first.

 

“No, fuck this, man,” Juho said immediately upon seeing Taeyang. Youngkyun held back a laugh. 

 

“You either meet with us now, or I tell your secret. That means I haven’t told it already, wink, wink,” Youngkyun said, closing the door behind them.

 

“What the fuck is this?” Juho asked, glaring at the seat across from Taeyang. Youngkyun trusted the boy enough to leave the door unguarded as he walked over to the table, graciously pulling the seat out for him.

 

“All we want to do is ask some questions. That’s all this is. And all we ask in return is that you don’t say anything. Of course, we know you’re going to, but I don’t know if spreading this information or your pride is more important to you,” Youngkyun explained, taking a seat beside Taeyang. “You can sit, we’re not going to threaten you.”

 

“You’re already threatening me,” Juho pointed out.

 

“It’s only a threat if you see it as one,” Youngkyun stated quickly. “A predator is only a predator to its prey. Am I a predator to you? Are you my prey?” Youngkyun leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not threatening you unless you think I am. Have a seat.”

 

Slowly, Juho made his way over to the seat, lowering himself into it and folding his hands on top of the table.

 

“Do you know this person?” Taeyang asked, sliding a picture forward. The man’s face, even with the hat on and the dim lighting of the factory, was easily seen. Taeyang had gotten a pretty good picture and video that day.

 

“That’s my dad,” Juho answered honestly.

 

“Good,” Youngkyun responded, making a mental note of how easily Juho answered truthfully. Clearly, the boy cared a lot about his image and his pride, which was important to know. He didn’t even think twice about selling his dad out. “Where was he Friday night?”

 

Juho shrugged. “I don’t know, probably working. He’s always working. He doesn’t tell me shit about that, okay?”

 

Youngkyun nodded. “Does your dad like his job?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, he fucking loves it. His job is everything to him,” Juho answered. Youngkyun watched the way his eyes moved, focusing more on him than anything to do with his actual answers. He didn’t look like he was lying. Of course, it was hard to tell with how he constantly avoided eye contact with Taeyang, but Youngkyun had already expected that.

 

“When he comes home, does he ever talk about work?” Taeyang asked, bringing his hands up to the desk, folding them over each other.

 

“What the fuck is this? Twenty questions?” Juho asked.

 

“Hey, Taeyang,” Youngkyun said, turning to his side to see the boy with a smug smile on his face. “Did you know that-”

 

“Okay, okay, that’s enough Youngkyun,” Juho interrupted with a pissed off expression. “Yeah, when he comes home, he likes to rant.”

 

“If you had to pick one thing he rants about the most, what would it be?” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head a bit.

 

“The way the company is run,” Juho answered, quickly looking up to Taeyang. “No offense to your dad or anything!”

 

Youngkyun made a mental note of how quick he was to apologize, and how he didn’t mention anything about Taeyang’s dad’s state. Youngkyun also made a note about how quick Juho was to defend his dad’s opinion, like he was protecting him now. 

 

“So your dad thinks he could run the company better?” Youngkyun asked with a scoff. 

 

“What? No, no, no, no, that’s not what I said!” Juho defended. 

 

Youngkyun shook his head, looking to Taeyang. “Listen,” he whispered, cupping his hand as if to hide his words from Juho, but knowing he was speaking loud enough for him to hear. “I know your dad only wanted to know about how he was feeling at the company, but shouldn’t we report this kind of thing to him as well?”

 

Youngkyun was treading on thin ice with this idea, but he was hoping it would turn out with the least backfire. Youngkyun was pretty sure Juho didn’t know about Taeyang’s father, which was the biggest guess he was hoping for.

 

“Please don’t report what I said to your dad!” Juho pleaded. “I misspoke!”

 

“How about this?” Taeyang started, clearly playing around with the words in his head. “I won’t tell my dad, but what we’re trying to do is get ideas for him, you know, to help make the company better. I want to be able to take care of my employees, right?”

 

Juho nodded along, and Youngkyun couldn’t help the feeling of pride in his chest as Taeyang lied perfectly, riding along on his idea. 

 

“I won’t hold anything against your dad,” Taeyang promised. “I won’t even tell my dad anything bad you say here. But how about you tell us what your dad says at home so I can work on better ideas for the company? I want to know what the employees have to say.”

 

“Then why don’t you ask them directly?”

 

“Because the executives think the company is good enough as it is, and I don’t want any ideas they’ll disagree with getting traced back to other employees,” Taeyang lied easily. Youngkyun honestly didn’t think he had ever been more proud of anyone in his entire life than he was watching Taeyang take over the questioning. He was almost ready to sit back and let him handle it. 

 

“Then why is  _ he _ here?” Juho asked, nodding towards Youngkyun.

 

“Because I’m better than an investigator, that’s why,” Youngkyun defended with a snort of disgust. 

 

“Or because you can drag people places against their will?”

 

“I told you you had a choice,” Youngkyun said, turning his nose away and pettily crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“Okay, okay children, thank you,” Taeyang said, shaking his head and returning his attention to Juho. “What does your dad say about my dad or the company? I won’t tell him, I promise,” Taeyang said, holding out his pinky for Juho.

 

Juho hesitated, his hand flinching before smoothly moving up to Taeyang’s, hooking their pinkies and stamping their thumbs together.

 

“Off the record?”

 

“Off the record,” Youngkyun said in place of Taeyang, doing his best to pretend the microphone taped under the table wasn’t there.

 

Juho nodded, inhaling as he licked his lips. “My dad complains about how things work a lot. He says your dad doesn’t know how to make a decent profit on his own,” Juho stated with a shrug.

 

Youngkyun made another mental note that Juho’s dad was most likely involved in the drug cartel in some way. Youngkyun knew a lot more about FNC than he probably should, or than even Taeyang probably thought he did. One thing he did know, though, from the many nights Jaejoong had been high off his ass ranting about it, was that the majority of profit in FNC came from drugs. FNC’s main business was more or less failing, but they had enough money to keep it going because of the drugs. The reason the drug cartel didn’t separate from FNC, in Youngkyun’s mind, was because of the protection and status they got from it. 

 

Youngkyun also took note, though, of how, apparently, ‘Taeyang's dad doesn’t know how to make a decent profit on his own.’ If that meant anything in Youngkyun’s mind, it meant Taeyang’s dad didn’t know, which was a big shock to Youngkyun. Did that mean Taeyang didn’t know, either?

 

“What ideas does your dad have for making a better profit?” Youngkyun asked after quickly clearing his throat, trying to sort out all of his thoughts. His goal now was focused on the drug cartel. He wanted to know who knew, and who didn’t.

 

Juho shrugged again. “I think one night he said he wanted to take out the computer district of the company.”

 

“That’s the biggest department, though,” Taeyang contradicted with furrowed brows. “Stocks and profit would drop without it.”

 

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure he was drunk that night. I thought it didn’t make much sense either.”

 

That went a lot smoother than Youngkyun thought it would. Taeyang clearly didn’t know where FNC’s profits came from, and Juho thought it was odd, which meant he couldn’t possibly know.

 

“One last question,” Youngkyun stated.

 

“Only one more?” Taeyang asked, clearly confused. They had come here to find out what Juho’s dad’s reasoning for being involved was. Taeyang couldn’t have picked up on it without knowing about the cartel. But Youngkyun had already figured out the reason.

 

“That you’re aware of, does your dad know Park Kinam or Kim Seokwoo?”

 

Juho nodded, his eyes falling to the desk. “I think I’ve heard of them before, yeah.”

 

Not a complete lie, but clearly not the full truth. Youngkyun made note of that. 

 

“Perfect. Thank you for helping us. We’ll look into the computer district of the company and try to see if there is anything wrong with it that your dad could have been talking about. Thanks!”

 

“No problem, I guess,” Juho responded, bowing shallowly as he got up to leave. He didn’t spare a look back.

 

“I got nothing out of that,” Taeyang admitted as the door closed. 

 

“Really? I got like everything out of that,” Youngkyun said with a smile, reaching underneath the desk to rip the tape away from the microphone.

 

“Please enlighten me,” Taeyang said, shrinking down into his seat.

 

“So, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but FNC, your darling company, does not make the majority of its profits from computers,” Youngkyun stated with a shrug. “The company makes the majority of its profit from its drug cartel-”

 

“Wait, what?!” Taeyang asked, standing up with the scrape of the chair behind him. “You’re joking.”

 

“No,” Youngkyun said with a small shake of his head. “FNC runs off of a drug cartel.”

 

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

 

“It makes perfect sense if you think about it,” Youngkyun contradicted with a shake of his head.  “I just never said anything because I thought you already knew. Anyways, yeah, FNC-”

 

“How did I not know but  _ you _ knew?” Taeyang asked wide eyed.

 

“Jaeyoon works for that cartel. So does my uncle. At a few points, so did I,” Youngkyun admitted with another shrug of his shoulders. 

 

“You worked at a drug cartel?”

 

“This isn’t about me,” Youngkyun stated, hands lazily in the air as he shrugged. “But for the record, I worked  _ for _ the drug cartel, not  _ at _ it. There is a huge difference there. And not on record.”

 

Slowly, Taeyang began to sit back down, looking down at the floor like he was still trying to put the pieces together.

 

“Juho clearly doesn’t know about the cartel,” Youngkyun stated. “Neither did you. From what I got out of that, Juho’s dad knows, though, and so do Kinam and Seokwoo. I’m pretty sure your dad didn’t know, though.”

 

“So what does this have to do with anything?” Taeyang asked, reaching up to his head to nurse a headache.

 

“I’m just trying to put the pieces together. I’m not saying this could be important, but this could be really fucking important. Think about it. Jeong Insik was a reporter, right? He got fired. Did you look into that? I don’t think it was in the notes I was given…”

 

Taeyang nodded. “He was fired for working behind the company’s back.”

 

“Okay but he wrote mainly for FNC?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Okay, boom. I bet he wrote a little too much about the business and things became a little fishy. Maybe he found out about the cartel, maybe he didn’t. Maybe your dad found out, too. Right? So, let’s say your dad finds out, calls Insik, gets ready to tell the world about this cartel, and goes missing. Reasonable, right?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“How can you possibly come to that conclusion?” Taeyang asked, still very much confused.

 

Youngkyun sighed. “The velvet suit? Who the fuck wears a suit that nice unless they’re trying to make themselves look good to the public. He’s already on the public’s good side, so why would he need to make himself look better? Because he’s exposing something bad about _his_ company,” Youngkyun explained, reaching a hand out to Taeyang’s shoulder. “This could be it. And think about it, Taeyang. This is good!”

 

“Why is this good? Why is anything about this good? I just found out the company I’m set to take over runs an illegal, underground drug business!” 

 

“Because your dad is still the CEO! They still need him, so we just need to figure out where he was taken. They probably just hid him somewhere to scare him or threaten him.”

 

“Then he could be okay?” Taeyang asked, looking up to him with hopeful eyes.

 

Youngkyun smiled, his teeth exposing as he nodded. “He could be okay.”


	12. Don't Do Anything Stupid Pt. 1

“Where are you going for vacation?” Taeyang asked, tapping his hands on his knees out of boredom.

 

Youngkyun smiled, looking from the window beside him to his fidgeting friend, who couldn’t seem to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time. “Ah, I forgot vacation is coming up.”

 

“This weekend,” Taeyang reminded him. “A whole week away from our studies.”

 

“We both know we aren’t taking a break, though,” Youngkyun stated with a small smile.

 

“You could if you wanted to,” Taeyang told him with a shrug.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, we could always just call each other if something comes up, or if one of us finds something. I don’t want you to ruin your whole vacation just to help me,” Taeyang told him, tapping away on his legs again. He reached up momentarily to adjust his mask, brushing his hair away from his eyes and looking over to Youngkyun. “I don’t want to take your vacation away from you, that’s all.”

 

“Taeyang, really?” Youngkyun asked with a raised eyebrow and a snort. “It’s a week away from school. There isn’t much special about that.”

 

“But what about your family?” Taeyang asked, eyebrows lifting in curiosity. 

 

Youngkyun laughed, not like he was happy or found any part of the conversation amusing, but like he was trying to laugh away the serious mood of the conversation. His family was an entire story, and he didn’t want to get into that.

 

“It’s fine,” he decided to say with a shrug. “I’d rather be helping you.”

 

“You don’t want to see your parents?”

 

Well, this was kind of an awkward situation, wasn’t it? If Youngkyun said no, then Taeyang would most likely get offended considering his own father is missing. Then again, Youngkyun didn’t want to tell his entire life story to the entire population of the bus they were currently riding on.

 

“I can’t,” he decided on. He tried ending the conversation with a simple shrug, but that didn’t really seem to satisfy Taeyang.

 

“Don’t say you can’t just because you think you have other things to do. I want you to see your family and-”

 

“They’re dead, Taeyang.”

 

Youngkyun bit down on his lip, ignoring the shock of pain he felt from it. He was really starting to get pissed at his god damn lip, which, technically, was his fault, but he was going to pretend it wasn’t. 

 

“I- I’m sorry I didn’t-”

 

“You don’t have to feel bad about it,” Youngkyun said with a shrug and a small smile. “My aunt wants me to go visit her for vacation, but if I tell her I have more important things to do she might let me off the hook. I didn’t really want to see her anyways,” Youngkyun explained.

 

Dammit, he thought. Now he had to make Taeyang smile because this sad puppy look he had on his face was beginning to make Youngkyun feel like shit. 

 

“Plus, between you and me,” he said, leaning closer to Taeyang. “She can’t cook, but she thinks she can. So whenever I go there, it’s like we have to all pretend to enjoy her food but it’s  _ so _ bad.”

 

Everything Youngkyun just said was a complete lie. Compared to the food he had eaten all of his life, his aunt’s cooking was fantastic. She didn’t cook often, so when she did it was a treat. The worst part about her meals was sitting around the table together, but that was irrelevant. The point of his lie was that Taeyang had smiled. It’s not like he would ever know it was a lie, anyways.

 

“We’ll figure all of that out later, though,” Youngkyun said with a wave of his hand. “We’re almost here.”

 

“I’ve never actually met a drug dealer before,” Taeyang admitted, folding his hands in his lap. 

 

Youngkyun snorted. “Jaeyoon acts more like a child than a drug dealer, I promise.”

 

The bus pulled to a stop slowly, and the two boys stood from their seats to leave. The air was chilly outside, much colder than either of them had expected it to be earlier this morning.

 

“It was nice on monday, what the hell happened?” Taeyang asked, moving the sides of his black overcoat to cover him completely.

 

“I know right?” Youngkyun agreed, folding his scarf around his neck again. “But it’s only Wednesday. The forecast says it’s supposed to get even colder this weekend.”

 

“Oh, fantastic,” Taeyang said with a roll of his eyes as they began walking down the streets.

 

There were a lot of people out walking around. Most people had their coats tightly pulled around them with hats snug on their heads. It even smelled cold, if that made any sense. The air had a certain brisk to it that smelled like frozen dew in the morning. Youngkyun was hoping it wouldn’t get much colder, though. He wanted the nice weather of autumn to last just a bit longer before the winter and the snow came in. 

 

“Why Daesin?”

 

Youngkyun shrugged. “Jaeyoon has some fascination with Daesin. I think it’s just because he gets a lot of customers here, though. He knows the place well, so it makes him feel more comfortable.”

 

“Well that isn’t weird at all,” Taeyang muttered. 

 

The two boys turned down a small alley between two brightly lit shops, walking about half way before leaning against the wall. Or, at least, Youngkyun leaned against the wall. Taeyang just looked at it in disgust before opting to stand up straight.

 

“Jaeyoon!” Youngkyun called. “It’s us, you don’t have to hide and pretend you’re late just to scope us out. Come on, it’s cold!”

 

“Fuck you, Kyun,” Jaeyoon said, coming out behind the corner with a smile on his face. His hair was still up, stick in his hand, and duffle bag around his shoulder. “Stop memorizing my tricks. Every time you do that I have to come up with new ones.”

 

“Then stop being obvious,” Youngkyun suggested, opening his arms for a hug. Jaeyoon patted his back after wrapping his arms around him, smiling at him before turning his attention to Taeyang. 

 

“No Chanhee today? That sucks, I miss my little bro. Tell him I said he owes me breakfast.”

 

“I’ll tell him he owes you two,” Youngkyun said with a laugh. “Jaeyoon, this is-”

 

“Mr. CEO’s son, I know the face. What’s up?”

 

“Uh, hi,” Taeyang said, raising his hand in a small, shy wave. 

 

“Oh my god he’s shy.”

 

“Jaeyoon don’t scare him.”

 

“He’s adorable!” Jaeyoon squealed, bouncing up to Taeyang and looking him over like a kid at a pet store. “Kyun, you didn’t tell me he was adorable. You know, I always pictured him as the type to be mysterious and scary,” Jaeyoon admitted, turning his attention to Youngkyun like Taeyang wasn’t even there. “Like, I pictured him in some fancy suit, two steps in front of you with his hands folded behind his back. But look at him! He’s shy and his cheeks are red and he acts like you’re in charge, oh my god, Kyun, keep him, he’s so cute.”

 

“Tha- thanks?” Taeyang said, offering an obviously terrified and confused smile at the boy. “And Youngkyun  _ is _ in charge.”

 

“Oh, wow. He’s also a sub.”

 

“ _ Jaeyoon. _ ” 

 

“Okay! Fine! I’ll stop harassing the poor kid,” Jaeyoon whined with a smile, coming up next to Youngkyun. “What’s up, though? I still have runs to make tonight.”

 

“Are you still making runs to Hyuntae?” Youngkyun asked with a smile on his face.

 

Jaeyoon rolled his eyes with a nod. “But I’m not flipping him off for you again. That got  _ me _ in trouble.”

 

“Doubt it. Besides, when have I ever gotten you in serious trouble?” Youngkyun asked with a tilt of his head.

 

“Lying to Chanhee, for one thing, could get me in a shit ton of trouble.”

 

“Woah, woah, woah!” Taeyang said, interjecting. “You lie to Chanhee?”

 

Youngkyun shrugged. “Jaeyoon deals for his brother, and sometimes we like to meet, all three of us. The problem is, I don’t need Chanhee knowing I worked for a drug cartel, so we pretend like I don’t have Jaeyoon’s number, and like we only know each other because of him.”

 

“Wait, even Taeyang knows you worked with me? WAIT! Taeyang knows about the cartel? Fuck, I’m dumb. I didn’t even think about that!” Jaeyoon spilled out, pressing his hand to his forehead with wide eyes like he was trying to accept his own death sentence.

 

“Jaeyoon, calm down,” Youngkyun told him with a laugh. “Yeah, Taeyang knows. But don’t worry, you have our favor.”

 

“I do?”

 

“Yeah, you ran the plate for us and actually saved both of our asses by tracking that car and my phone,” Youngkyun told him proudly. “I promised you money, so here we are!”

 

Taeyang reached into his pocket, pulling out a clip of money and tossing it to Jaeyoon, who barely caught it.

 

“Don’t tell Chanhee we’re meeting you.”

 

“Does Chanhee even know what kind of serious shit you and Taeyang are getting into?” Jaeyoon asked, observing the clip of money. “Like, I feel bad hiding so much from him.”

 

“We’ll tell him once everything gets sorted out,” Youngkyun promised. “But anyways, tell Hyuntae I send my love and kisses.”

 

“If Hyuntae punches me, I’m so blaming you.”

 

“Hyuntae loves me. And he has to have some sentiment for you. He would never,” Youngkyun reasoned. 

 

“Oh, he so would,” Jaeyoon contradicted, moving to Youngkyun to give him one last hug with a pat on the back. “But seriously, I have more runs to make. Including to Hyuntae. So… good luck with whatever you two are doing.”

 

“Thanks. Stay safe, Yoon,” Youngkyun said with a smile, watching as Jaeyoon turned to walk out of the alley, hoisting his duffle onto his shoulder. 

 

“Who’s Hyuntae?” Taeyang asked curiously once Jaeyoon had left as they started making their way out of the alley as well. 

 

“I used to deal to him a bit when I was little. He was a close friend of mine. I used to sneak out and go see him just for the fun of it,” he explained. “But now Jaeyoon deals to him, so I forever torment him through Jaeyoon.”

 

“What a nice friendship,” Taeyang teased with a laugh. “But Jaeyoon, too. Wow. Youngkyun, you have some wild friends.”

 

“What do you mean?” Youngkyun asked with a laugh.

 

“Well,” Taeyang began, “there’s Chanhee who never stops insisting we’re a couple. There’s Sanghyuk who gets excited when you ask him to steal shit for you. There’s Hyuntae who does drugs and became best friends with his dealer. And then there’s Jaeyoon who talks so,  _ so  _ much, and acts like a kid but deals drugs for a living!” 

 

At this point, both Youngkyun and Taeyang were laughing close to tears, cackling as they walked and laughed about all of Youngkyun’s strange friends. 

 

“I think you’re underestimating how wild my life is,” Youngkyun suggested with a laugh.

 

“And here I thought you were just a  _ normal _ kid who enjoys spying on the entire school,” Taeyang said sarcastically, shaking his head with a smile. “And- hey.”

 

Youngkyun raised his eyebrows, watching Taeyang’s smile drop as his eyes fixated on something behind him. Youngkyun turned behind him, not really seeing anything obvious Taeyang could be looking at.

 

“What?”

 

“FNC is on the news,” Taeyang mumbled, walking past Youngkyun to a window shop across the street. Youngkyun hurried to follow him, thankful there was a red light. 

 

Taeyang walked up to the window, watching the TV through the glass as the reporter talked about the company. Youngkyun followed up behind him, keeping his eyes carefully on Taeyang’s face as he watched the news. His eyes looked sad, glossed over as he watched.

 

“The company promises a new direction with better profits in the future, leading the business to a new generation of leadership and production quality.”

 

“My dad never promised a new direction,” Taeyang mumbled, stepping closer to the window. He was so close that when he raised his hand, his fingers grazed the glass in front of him.

 

“With this new direction, CEO Baek Cheolmin has promised a better future for FNC as a whole.”

 

“C- CEO?” Taeyang asked, tilting his head to the side. “CEO? Ch- Cheolmin isn’t the CEO- my- my dad is the CEO. It’s Yoo Haeseong. Yoo Haeseong is the CEO, not Baek Cheolmin,” Taeyang continued, his breathing rising as his eyes began looking around the screen frantically. 

 

“Maybe there was a misunderstanding,” Youngkyun suggested, struggling to think of anything to calm the boy down. 

 

“My dad isn’t the CEO anymore.”

 

“We don’t know that, Taeyang.”

 

“My dad isn’t the CEO,” Taeyang repeated, eyes falling down to the floor with a blank expression. “He’s not- he’s-”

 

“We can’t assume anything,” Youngkyun rushed to say, placing a hand on Taeyang’s shoulder. “We don’t know anything and-”

 

“I’m not the heir to FNC. My dad isn’t- my dad…”

 

“Taeyang!” 

 

Youngkyun rushed forward to catch Taeyang as he fell, hooking his arms under the boy’s shoulders as he fell to the ground under him. He bit his lip as he fell, feeling the blood pool into his mouth as he tried to check over Taeyang, to make sure he was okay. He looked back up to the television with a worried expression, looking back with sad eyes to the boy who had just passed out in his arms.

 

↔

 

Youngkyun pushed his hand through his hair, pulling his eyes back out of annoyance and tiredness. He blinked his eyes every few seconds to get rid of the feeling, but it wasn’t working very much. The computer screen in front of him blared at the highest brightness, burning holes into his eyes as he tried to read through the articles.

 

[Baek Cheolmin appointed CEO of FNC]

 

[Yoo Haeseong appoints Baek Cheolmin as his successor]

 

[Yoo Haeseong retires under mysterious circumstances]

 

[CEO Baek Cheolmin makes a promise for the future of FNC]

 

It was a load of bullshit. Every article Youngkyun read said the same thing just worded a bit differently. Baek Cheolmin was the new CEO, and Youngkyun couldn’t even begin to fathom how that was possible. He knew Taeyang’s father would still be needed at that point to sign the stock and company transfer papers, but he didn’t know where to go from there.

 

“Fuck you, Cheolmin,” Youngkyun mumbled to himself, suppressing the yawn he felt rising in his throat.

 

For once he was actually tired. Youngkyun wasn’t sure why, exactly, but he did know one thing. He wasn’t sleeping tonight. Taeyang was passed out on his bed, unconscious for the past five hours now, and Youngkyun had barely scratched the surface of the reports he wanted to look through. Not to mention, Youngkyun would most likely wake up from a bad dream at some point during the night, and he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to scare Taeyang while he was in a state like this, and he didn’t want to wake up to see Taeyang still unconscious. Knowing his dreams, that would probably scare him much more. 

 

“Youngkyun?”

 

“Taeyang!” Youngkyun gasped as he bolted up, the chair falling back behind him as he rushed over to Taeyang’s bed. “Taeyang, are you okay?” he asked, moving his hands to the sides of his head and looking into his eyes. “Can you see me? Can you hear me?”

 

“You’re giving me a headache.”

 

“Sorry,” Youngkyun said, quickly dropping his hands and moving to sit on the side of Taeyang’s bed. “But are you okay?”

 

“No,” Taeyang said with a snort, looking over to Youngkyun’s computer as he tried to blink himself awake. “What happened?”

 

Youngkyun bit his lip. “You passed out.”

 

“Did I at least look cool while I fell?” Taeyang asked with a weak attempt at a smile.

 

“No, you asshole. I had to catch you.”

 

“My savior,” Taeyang complimented. His eyes seemed to go dark as he was finally able to see the articles pulled up on Youngkyun’s computer. He shifted his eyes down to his lap, licking his lips as he seemed to think. “What did you find?”

 

“Juho’s father, Baek Cheolmin, is the new CEO of FNC.”

 

“Great, but what about the  _ real _ CEO? Where’s  _ he _ ?” Taeyang asked with a shake of his head, looking to Youngkyun.

 

“I haven’t been able to find anything on him yet,” Youngkyun confessed as he exhaled, not confident in his ability to hold eye contact with the boy while he spoke. “We’ve been looking for the past two days now, but we’ll find something eventually. We just need to wait for someone to screw up.”

 

“How much time do you think we have left?” Taeyang asked. “I mean, with my dad still being CEO he should have been okay, right? But he’s not CEO anymore.”

 

“I know, I know,” Youngkyun agreed, pulling his lips together in a tight line. He was trying to think of anything to say, but his thoughts broke to pieces before he could even put them into words.

 

“If my dad isn’t the CEO, then I’m not the heir. I lose all my pull with that. I lose the respect I had at the company, any information I could have gotten, and any support I had. My dad is missing, my future is gone like it was never even there, and I have no support from anyone there anymore. This is fucking great,” Taeyang ranted, blinking as he looked off to his side. Youngkyun could see the water pulling at his eyes, but by the way Taeyang was shaking, Youngkyun knew not to mention it.

 

“Taeyang, I know it’s a lot. But for your own health, you need to take a breather. I can’t have you pass out again,” Youngkyun stated with a small smile. It was an empty smile, only there in hopes that maybe Taeyang would understand.

 

“I need to start acting like a CEO right now,” Taeyang decided with a shake of his head. “How long have I been out?”

 

“Five hours,” Youngkyun said with a grimace. 

 

“Fuck,” Taeyang mumbled, pushing himself out of bed. 

 

“Woah, hold on!” Youngkyun called, following him as he walked to his closet. “What the fuck are you doing?”

 

“I need to go to my dad’s house,” Taeyang told him with a blank expression, ignoring anything he was determined to do as he turned to look at Youngkyun. “I need to take care of everything there. It’s a big house, and with my dad missing any longer than this, taxes are going to start becoming an issue. I don’t have assistants anymore, so I’ll need to figure out as much of it by myself as I can.” Taeyang turning back to his closet. “I need to find the passwords for anything my dad has, along with any files he might have hidden there, and I either need them with me or burned. I need his bank account information, and I need to take care of any issues with that while taking enough money out for me. There should be enough allowance in my account, but if there isn’t, I’ll take some out of his as well. I need to sell that stupid sports car and get rid of the car insurance because I have a feeling it won’t be needed for much longer.”

 

“Taeyang, this is so much are you-”

 

Taeyang licked his lips, picking a black suit out of his closet and observing it with an expression that could only be described as heavy, like he was weighed down by everything happening and his own determination to move on from it. “I need to take care of everything. I’m guessing I might have to meet with Cheolmin, or maybe Seokwoo at some point, but that’s fine,” he said as he turned to Youngkyun. “I think I’ve learned a lot about how to lie good in the past week. I should be fine enough to hold a professional face in front of them.”

 

“You can’t be serious.”

 

“I can’t ignore this forever,” Taeyang retorted, placing the suit on a coat hook outside of the closet. “My dad is missing, and that’s still my priority. But there is a lot of stuff he left me to take care of in his absence, so I need to start acting like an adult, just for a little while. Taxes, insurance, company issues, the house, it’s a lot. But I have to do it,” he finished with a defeated sigh. 

 

“Don’t get yourself into something stupid,” Youngkyun told him, pouting at the ground. “You should be resting right now, not getting dressed to meet Cheolmin of all fucking people.”

 

“I won’t do anything stupid,” Taeyang promised. “It would be great if you could collect my work for me like I’m sick. I don’t want anyone knowing I’ve left the campus.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, finally looking up to Taeyang. “Okay. I can do that.”

 

“You’re the master of rumors, right?”

 

Youngkyun nodded. 

 

“Great. I know people will ask, so do you want to spread a rumor for me?”

 

Youngkyun thought about it for a second before nodding. “What great rumor do you have in mind?”

 

“My father is sick, and I’m not ready to run the company yet,” he explained. “Cheolmin is appointed CEO in my place for the time being, but the situation is temporary. His term as CEO will most likely last a few years until I’m ready, but until then he is trusted to have control of the company.”

 

“I can do that,” Youngkyun confirmed with a nod. “That’s a pretty good rumor actually.”

 

“I know, right? I’m kind of proud of myself,” Taeyang said with a cheeky smile that only lasted a second. “I’ll be back after break. I’ll call and keep in touch. Until I’m back, let’s continue looking for my father secretly.”

 

Youngkyun nodded. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

 

“You said that already.”

 

“Well I’m saying it again so you’ll remember it.”

 

“Okay,” Taeyang agreed with a smile, so small it was barely noticeable. He reached out quickly for Youngkyun and pulled him into a hug. “I won’t do anything stupid, partner.”


	13. Don't Do Anything Stupid Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still Wednesday for me, but I'm updating this early because I will not have a second of time to update tomorrow <3 so there will be no update tomorrow, sorry for the change of schedule this week!

Youngkyun absolutely trusted Taeyang. There was no doubt in his mind that Taeyang would do the things he said he needed to do. However, there was that constant thought eating away at his mind that maybe something wasn’t right. Of course, it wasn’t just because Taeyang hadn’t answered his calls for the past hour, or because he hadn’t bothered to call him back. The feeling had actually been there the past day. Yup, that’s right. Today was Friday, and Taeyang had left early Thursday morning, which meant it had just barely been a day.

 

Honestly, Youngkyun got the bad feeling as soon as Taeyang stepped into his car, waving goodbye and pulling away from the dorm with only a small bag packed. He had an extra suit hanging in the back of his car, some regular clothes, only one set of pajamas, and whatever else he needed for hygiene. Just watching him leave with only that small amount of stuff was so worrying to Youngkyun, and he didn’t even really know why.

 

Taeyang was an adult, or, at least, he sort of was. There was no reason Youngkyun had to think about what could go wrong as much as he was. It also didn’t help, though, that Youngkyun hadn’t slept at all last night. All that time he had to waste just staring at the ceiling was spent thinking of every single little thing than could go wrong.

 

Youngkyun shook his head, bringing his mind back to the real world. The library, right. He had a stupid history report due by the end of the day today that he, to be honest, was doing okay on! In Youngkyun’s mind, at least, it was okay. It wasn’t like he had overly procrastinated on it, because he had done bits and pieces here and there while working with Taeyang. However, due to the amount of stress he had been under because of all of that, he thought the mediocre quality of the report was pretty damn good. He knew his teachers wouldn’t think that, but right now their opinions didn’t really matter to him.

 

Yet, he found his mind drifting again, his eyes spacing out, locked on his phone. Why wouldn’t Taeyang call him back, yet? It had been over an hour now, and Youngkyun was starting to get more worried than he had already been. His logical mind told him Taeyang was just in a meeting, or working on something where he couldn’t answer his phone. Youngkyun’s mom sense told him Taeyang was dying and he couldn’t do anything to help.

 

Youngkyun was just about to reach for his phone, most likely to check his empty messages from Taeyang again, when the doors to the library slammed open, shocking everybody in the room. 

 

Youngkyun whipped his head up to the doors, only to find Taeyang standing there, sweat dripping down his forehead as he scanned the room. His suit was a mess, wrinkled in every possible way. The sleeve of it was ripped and his tie wasn’t even there.

 

“Taeyang?” Youngkyun found himself calling, standing up in his seat to get the boy’s attention.

 

“Oh, fantastic, there you are. I checked your dorm, your classes, and even the cafe. Man, why the fuck are you in the library?”

 

“Why the fuck are you  _ here _ ?” Youngkyun asked in retort, watching the disheveled boy walk over to him, taking a seat in front of him.

 

“Funny story.”

 

“ _ This _ is a funny story?!”

 

“So I know you told me not to do anything stupid.”

 

“Oh my god, Taeyang!”

 

“And I didn’t!” Taeyang defended with his hands up in the air. “Until today.”

 

“You’ve barely been gone for more than a day!” Youngkyun reminded him with wide eyes.

 

“But I didn’t start it!” Taeyang defended, moving his hands up to ruffle his hair. He pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders and onto the chair he was sitting on. “So, I was at home, right? I was looking for my dad’s shit, because I needed his passwords and any other documents. For some reason they were behind a painting in his room, which is weird enough as it is, but as soon as I got them, some fuckers broke the fucking door down!”

 

“Did they not know you were home?!” Youngkyun asked, moving his teeth to bite lightly on his healing lip. 

 

“I kept the lights off because, again, nobody was supposed to know I went there. I don’t even think they saw me.”

 

“So why the fuck  _ were _ they there?”

 

“Okay so this is the really funny part,” Taeyang told him.

 

“Oh, so this is the part where you do something stupid?”

 

“Exactly! So, you see, I figured a gang of guys breaking into my dad’s house was something important, so instead of just running with the files like I should have done, I hid in the house and listened in on what they were saying for half an hour.”

 

“Oh my fucking god, Taeyang!” Youngkyun said, exasperated as he ran his hands through his hair.

 

“Yeah, so, the good news is, I still have the files. The other good news is that they didn’t know I was there.”

 

“What’s the bad news?!”

 

“There’s a lot,” Taeyang said with a nod. “So I know for a fact that Seokwoo and Kinam were both there. I also know they were sent by FNC. They were also looking for the files I got.”

 

“Is there anything else?!” Youngkyun asked, on the verge of having a complete breakdown.

 

“Yeah, actually. They were planning on coming to find you after they found the files.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yeah. They’re keeping an eye on me, well, trying to, at least. Which is another good news thing, because they think I’m still here! But, yeah, because we’ve been spending so much time together recently, they think we’re onto something like my dad was, I guess.”

 

“We  _ are _ onto something!” Youngkyun pointed out with wide eyes.

 

“I know!” Taeyang responded with a squeak to his voice. “But we can’t let them know that!”

 

“I thought you said you were going to act like an adult now! Why didn’t you start with this?” Youngkyun asked, grabbing his books and shoving them haphazardly into his bag.

 

“I have no idea!” Taeyang responded in a panic. “I didn’t know what to do!”

 

“First we need to hide those files,” Youngkyun stated. “Then we need to figure out some way to make it seem like we aren’t looking into them.”

 

“Then why the fuck else would we be around each other so much? It’s not like we were friends before!”

 

“Fuck, I don’t know!” Youngkyun whisper yelled, pulling at his hair and discarding his bag onto the chair.

 

“What about the stuff in my dorm? The stuff on the walls?” Taeyang asked with wide eyes.

 

“I took that all down after you left yesterday and hid it all behind my bed in my dorm because I’m paranoid. Nobody should be finding that any time soon,” Youngkyun told him, looking at the small bag Taeyang had left on the chair. “Are the files in there?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Great, pick any random book that no kid would ever need to look in, and memorize the serial number,” Youngkyun told him, grabbing the handle of the bag and shoving it in his chest.

 

“What, why?”

 

“How much time to do you think we have before they get here to us? They already broke into your house, you think they wouldn’t go through your shit, too?” 

 

Taeyang bit his lip in defeat before nodding, rushing over to the bookcase of encyclopedias. Youngkyun sighed, watching him pick a book and shove the files between the pages. He set the book back on the shelf and rushed past Youngkyun to the window. Youngkyun followed him, placing a hand on his shoulder and looking into the road in front of the building.

 

“What’s your big plan?” Taeyang asked.

 

“My plan? Why do I have to come up with the plan?” Youngkyun asked, gaping at the boy. 

 

“Because I spent the entire ride here and every second I spent looking for you trying to think of an idea and I have nothing,” Taeyang admitted.

 

“You could have just called me,” Youngkyun mumbled.

 

“Could have, but I didn’t want them tracking my phone so I broke it.”

 

Youngkyun nodded. “Okay, okay, well what now? What should we-”

 

“Fuck, that’s them,” Taeyang stuttered, pushing the both of them back away from the window as a dark blue car rolled to a stop in front of the building. “They’re here.”

 

“Oh shit.”

 

Youngkyun pushed himself up, grabbing Taeyang’s hand and pulling him back from the window. 

 

“Tick tock, Youngkyun. They’re probably already coming inside. It doesn’t take long to get to the second floor.”

 

“I know, I know!” Youngkyun breathed out, racking his brain for a single idea that could possibly get them out of FNC’s sights. “I’m thinking, I’m thinking.”

 

“Please think a little faster,” Taeyang begged.

 

And that’s what sparked the worst possible idea Youngkyun could have ever thought of. He almost didn’t say it, thinking he could think of another idea, but he knew he was completely out of time. 

 

“Fuck it!” Youngkyun mumbled, grabbing Taeyang’s hand and pulling him with him. He dragged him into the back room of the library, leaving their bags and coats where they were.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“Just- I have a bad idea.”

 

“A bad idea? Are you sure you can’t think of a good one?”

 

“I have  _ one _ idea!” Youngkyun clarified. “So this one better work.” Youngkyun let go of Taeyang’s hand as he knocked quickly on the last door at the end of the hallway. He barely gave anyone inside a second to answer, opening the door to an empty room. “Perfect,” he whispered, closing the door and making sure to leave it unlocked.

 

“What are we doing here?” Taeyang asked. “This is a dead end. Is your plan to hide? Because if so, why don’t we just run?”

 

Youngkyun was really, really going to regret living after this.

 

Without another word, Youngkyun moved in front of Taeyang, his hands against the wall on both sides of him, practically pinning him.

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

“What?!”

 

“I said, can I kiss you?” Youngkyun repeated, biting on his lip hard enough for him to focus on the pain instead of everything going through his mind.

 

“Youngkyun, what does this have to-”

 

“I won’t do it if you say I can’t, but I don’t have another plan.”

 

“And this is a plan?!”

 

“A very bad one, yes!” 

 

There was a thick silence between the two, Taeyang staring wide eyed at Youngkyun while Youngkyun stood in two very different kinds of fear. Youngkyun kept his eyes on Taeyang’s, waiting.

 

“So can I kiss you?” Youngkyun asked again, his hands shaking against the wall.

 

“... I guess.”

 

Without another second, Youngkyun leaned in, quickly pressing his lips to Taeyang’s. Taeyang gasped, but Youngkyun didn’t stop until Taeyang was kissing back. Their lips molded together, and Youngkyun was stuck between thinking about how much he hated himself and how good of a kisser Taeyang was. 

 

Youngkyun moved his hands to Taeyang’s face, pressing their bodies together as he moved. Every time they split apart, Youngkyun was the one to dive back in, giving them just enough time to catch their breath before initiating the kiss again.

 

He moved his hands to Taeyang’s hair, pulling at it as if it wasn’t messy enough.

 

“Make my hair messy,” he whispered, out of breath as he moved to kiss Taeyang again. Taeyang didn’t waste a second, moving his hands to Youngkyun’s hair, pulling at it and fluffing it up. Youngkyun tried really, really hard to be quiet as Taeyang did that, finding himself oddly enjoying the feeling with how panicked he was.

 

Youngkyun moved his hands to Taeyang’s dress shirt, undoing the top few buttons and pulling it out of his waistband. Taeyang froze for only a second, but let Youngkyun continue with what he was doing.

 

“You need to be on top,” Youngkyun whispered, panting for breath as he pulled away from the kiss, still undoing the buttons on Taeyang’s shirt.

 

“What? Why?” Taeyang asked, trying to catching his breath.

 

“Everyone in the school knows you’re a natural top. You need to play the part,” Youngkyun told him.

 

He moved to grab at Taeyang’s shirt again when he found Taeyang’s hands on his side instead, moving his feet to flip their positions, pinning Youngkyun against the wall.

 

“Good,” he whispered, reaching up for Taeyang’s head and kissing him again. Once Taeyang was kissing him, he reached for Taeyang’s hands, moving them to his shirt.

 

“What are you-”

 

“We need to make it look messy,” Youngkyun said quickly before kissing him again, guiding his hands to the buttons on his shirt. Taeyang moved his fingers to the buttons, quickly undoing them, one by one. 

 

“How many?” he asked, panting for breath.

 

“All of them,” Youngkyun told him, pulling him back into the kiss. Taeyang moved his hands to his shirt, traveling down until he reached the last button. He moved his hands to Youngkyun’s shoulders, pulling the shirt off completely, and Youngkyun let him. He moved his body, pressing against Taeyang as the boy pulled his shirt off, leaving him completely bare chested as they kissed. 

 

Taeyang’s hands moved to his chest, traveling up and down his body, as Youngkyun’s hands moved to Taeyang’s hair, his fingers digging into it and pulling his head around. Youngkyun didn’t miss the little hiccups and pauses into their kisses when Youngkyun did that.

 

He was about to reach up for Taeyang’s shoulders when the door slammed open. Youngkyun made sure to make the kiss last just long enough before he pulled away, hands moving to his chest with wide eyes at the door.

 

Taeyang followed his example, looking to the door with wide eyes.

 

“Seokwoo,” Taeyang said with a small, embarrassed smile, moving his hands to his hair like smoothing it out was going to help. “Hey.”

 

“I- I didn’t mean to interrupt-” the tall boy said, looking from Taeyang to Youngkyun with flushed cheeks. “Come out when you’re done.”

 

“Okay,” Taeyang said with a nod of his head, waiting for Seokwoo to leave.

 

“And lock the door next time.”

 

“Okay,” he said again, watching as Seokwoo stumbled out, closing the door behind him loudly.

 

Then Taeyang and Youngkyun stood in what was probably the most awkward silence Youngkyun had ever had to sit through. He didn’t even know what to say to Taeyang. Of course, the plan had worked exactly as Youngkyun had wanted it to. Now, Seokwoo and everybody else thought they were a couple. If they were a couple, it explained why they spent so much time together. It was the best Youngkyun could come up with.

 

“Do you want your shirt back?” Taeyang asked, biting down on his lip with pink cheeks.

 

“Yes, please,” Youngkyun whispered, not daring to make eye contact with him. He pressed his lips into a straight line, nodding to himself as Taeyang handed him the shirt back. Youngkyun didn’t waste any time pulling it over his shoulders.

 

“You’re buttoning the wrong buttons,” Taeyang pointed out.

 

“I know,” Youngkyun said with a small smile to try and give Taeyang the vibe that everything was still okay. “We need to sell it to everybody else, too. If it’s just Seokwoo who thinks we’re together, it might seem off. Button your shirt, but not all the way.”

 

Taeyang nodded, looking down to the buttons.

 

“Your plan seemed to work, though. Right?”

 

“I think so,” Youngkyun said with a nod.

 

“Well,” Taeyang began with a snort, “thanks for filling me in with what you had in mind.”

 

Youngkyun scoffed. “I didn’t think I had enough time to explain it.”

 

“I think there was plenty of time,” Taeyang said with a roll of his eyes, smoothing his hands over his shirt. 

 

“Yeah but I didn’t know there would be plenty of time,” Youngkyun retorted. He reached up to his hair, parting it back in the middle and doing a poor job at fixing it. “Do I look like a hot mess?”

 

“I really don’t want to answer that and make things awkward again after everything that we just did.”

 

Youngkyun’s cheeks went red as he stumbled to fix his words. “Do I look like a regular mess?!” he asked, exhaling as Taeyang laughed.

 

“Yes, you do. Do I?”

 

“Yup, we look the part.”

 

“Well-”

 

“We don’t need to discuss it,” Youngkyun said with a quick shake of his head. 

 

“Chanhee is going to have a field day with this,” Taeyang pointed out.

 

“Can’t wait.”

 

↔

 

“Taeyang, are you two really dating?” Seokwoo asked again, looking between the two boys. Youngkyun averted his eyes, looking around the library instead.

 

Seokwoo and his gang had been questioning them for the past ten minutes while the other kids in the library just stood and watched. Some even held phones up to record the whole mess.

 

“I already told you, yes,” Taeyang defended, moving his arm to Youngkyun’s shoulders.

 

“Are we done here?” Youngkyun asked, sparing a quick glance at Seokwoo. “Literally everybody is watching.” Youngkyun, despite how he made himself sound, was proud of how many people were watching. The whole school would know by tomorrow, and FNC wouldn’t suspect them of working together to get dirt on Cheolmin or anyone else.

 

“Why did you two start dating?” Seokwoo asked, looking to Youngkyun.

 

“He needed help studying psychology,” Youngkyun lied with a shrug. Seokwoo didn’t move his eyes, so Youngkyun rolled his with a sigh. “What do you want me to say?! He has a pretty smile and he’s a nice person!” Youngkyun found himself saying, sliding into Taeyang’s arms a bit more. “He’s a good kisser and, I don’t know! What do you want me to say? We’re dating because we’re dating,” Youngkyun defended, making himself sound a lot more embarrassed than he was. Then again, there was no reason for him to announce to the whole world how good Taeyang was at kissing. There was also no need for Taeyang to know he thought that.

 

Seokwoo turned to Taeyang who avoided his gaze immediately. “So with everything going on, this is how you react?”

 

“What?” Taeyang asked, defensively. “You’ve never heard of sex being a good stress reliever?” Taeyang looked straight through Seokwoo, challenging the boy with his eyes.

 

Here is the really funny thing, too, because that sentence made Youngkyun’s face turn bright red. That’s right. Youngkyun had made it look like him and Taeyang were going to… do it… in the closet. Of course, his mind knew they were only acting, and all they were really going to do was kiss, but that’s not what everybody else thought and needed to think.

 

“Speaking of which, you want to clear things up for me?” Taeyang asked, tilting his head. “Like, why the fuck is this ass Cheolmin the CEO now?”

 

A man beside Seokwoo stepped forward and Taeyang scoffed, looking to him. “Go ahead, Kinam, protect your new CEO.” Taeyang was practically seething with rage, glaring at the suited men in front of him like he would kill any of them if he had the chance. “In fact, Seokwoo, no- Mr. Kim, why are you here?” Taeyang asked, turning to Seokwoo. “My dad isn’t CEO anymore, so technically I have nothing to do with the company now. So why are your men here, barging in on my boyfriend and I like you run my goddamn life? Get the fuck out.”

 

“Taeyang-”

 

“You better speak formally, Mr. Kim,” Taeyang threatened, standing up to grab his bag and jacket, making sure the rip wasn’t visible. “I was aware only friends speak formally to each other.”

 

“ _ Mr. Yoo _ , if you would just-”

 

“I said, get out,” Taeyang said, spinning on his heels with every bit of his anger seething out at Seokwoo now. “I don’t want anything to do with you. I have nothing to do with the company now, right? So why the fuck are you still here? Leave.”

 

Youngkyun watched Taeyang glare at Seokwoo, unmoving. He had never seen Taeyang mad before, but he could understand why Seokwoo faltered at his demands. Taeyang was terrifying when he was angry. He was so on edge that he looked like he could kill Seokwoo if he wanted to, and that was probably the worst part for the other man. Youngkyun could see it in his eyes, the way Seokwoo looked at him, that he still saw Taeyang as a friend.

 

Taeyang moved to Youngkyun, grabbing his hand with his free one. “Are you leaving yet?” Taeyang asked, looking up to Seokwoo.

 

“Taeyang you don’t-”

 

“Mr. Kim, I believe I told you to speak formally to me,” Taeyang reminded him. “I asked if you were leaving.”

 

“You need to understand.”

 

“I don’t want to understand anything from you,” Taeyang said, looking up to Seokwoo with malice in his eyes. “So you should leave, before you piss me off any more.”

 

Seokwoo took a small step forward, immediately pulling his lips into a thin line when he met Taeyang’s eyes again. He looked conflicted, for a second, before giving them a small bow. “Yes, sir,” Seokwoo mumbled, turning on his heel immediately to follow his men out. Taeyang watched him go, waiting until the sound of the car outside coming to life vanished. Then Taeyang looked to Youngkyun, his eyes flickering to the people around them watching.

 

“Let’s go to my dorm, ‘kay?” he asked, leaning down a bit in his act to make them seem closer. Youngkyun had to remind himself that it wasn’t just an act for FNC, it was an act for everybody.

 

So Youngkyun nodded, tightening his hold on Taeyang’s hand as they left the library, leaving everyone and their confusion behind in it. 

 

↔

 

Youngkyun sighed, rubbing his eyes quickly before turning the knob to the door. He didn’t even get the door opened halfway before Chanhee was running over, the biggest grin spread across his face.

 

“Oh my god, you look clean.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “I showered at Taeyang’s,” he said, throwing his wrinkled suit jacket down on the chair, followed by his bag. 

 

“Is that…  _ all _ you did at Taeyang’s?”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. He was beyond tired at this point. Not only had he and Taeyang had one of the most awkward dinners of their lives consisting of sandwiches and ignoring their problems, but they also had to go all the way back to the library for those files. Youngkyun had also showered at Taeyang’s, admitting he looked and smelled like they actually had sex.

 

Since they had spent all their time ignoring their troubles, however, neither of them had discussed what to tell Chanhee. Was he supposed to lie to his best friend again? Chanhee could keep this secret, right?

 

“Yes, that’s all we did,” Youngkyun told him, plopping down on his bed, arms out wide and head buried in his pillow.

 

“So you showered together?”

 

“What-? No! I showered! Then he showered! Two separate showers!” Youngkyun clarified, grabbing his pillow and whipping it behind him. He smirked to himself at the sound of the pillow hitting Chanhee in the face.

 

“You can’t blame me for saying this shit, now!” Chanhee defended. “I mean, you guys actually almost had-”

 

“I know!” Youngkyun called over him, hands to his ears as he tried to ignore him. He rolled over in his bed, facing away from Chanhee as he kept his ears covered. He had decided he wouldn’t tell Chanhee directly, but he wouldn’t directly lie to him, either. If he figured it out, he figured it out. If he didn’t, he didn’t.

 

“So when was the first time you kissed?”

 

“Oh my god.”

 

“Come on, I want to know!” 

 

“And I want to sleep,” Youngkyun stated, reaching over for the light. “It’s late, and I have to wake up early to pack. I’m tired.”

 

“Oh right, vacation,” Chanhee said with a smile Youngkyun could hear. “So where are you and Taeyang going for your honeymoon?”

 

“Chanhee, shut  _ up. _ ”

 

“Are you going with Taeyang over vacation? Is he going with you? Are you going to sext the whole time and call each other love and dramatically confess your desire to see each other and-”

 

“I swear to fucking god I will throw you out this window,” Youngkyun threatened, pulling his remaining pillow over his head.

 

“So, since you won’t answer, I just have to assume you’re going somewhere else together where you can privately-”

 

“He’s coming to my aunt’s house with me,” Youngkyun blurted out, raising his hand to give Chanhee the finger.

 

The decision had even been his idea. He realized, without his dad, and with his home obviously being unsafe, that Taeyang actually needed somewhere to go. Knowing now that FNC realistically thought they were dating, Youngkyun had invited him to his aunt’s with him. Youngkyun had no intention of actually telling his aunt this until he arrived, but that was a problem to deal with later. 

 

“Aw, how sweet,” Chanhee cooed. “Can I walk you out in the morning like a father walking his daughter down the aisle?”

 

“Can you not?” 

 

“Come on, girl talk!” Chanhee insisted, bouncing up and down on his bed. 

 

“Or sleep,” Youngkyun suggested.

 

“If I let you sleep now can you tell me all about Taeyang in the morning?”

 

Youngkyun sighed. “Sure, yes!” He knew he was really going to regret saying that later, but right now, he really was tired.

 

Chanhee giggled to himself, turning off the lights and most likely snuggling up in his bed. He continued to laugh to himself while Youngkyun continued to ignore him, but at some point the giggles got so obvious he just had to ask.

 

“What could possibly be so important that you have to giggle to get my attention?” Youngkyun asked with a roll of his eyes.

 

“I guess you really would bang Taeyang, now.”


	14. I Trust You

“Chanhee don’t forget your toothbrush again,” Youngkyun called, banging on the bathroom door with his knuckles to get Chanhee’s attention.

 

“It’s your fault I’m in a rush!” Chanhee called out, bolting into the room, grabbing his brush, and dashing out quickly to add it to the rest of his stuff.

 

“I didn’t force you to sleep in!” Youngkyun yelled, hooking his small bag over his shoulder and glancing around the bathroom one more time. “And it’s only a week, Chanhee. Relax.”

 

“Okay but you didn’t wake me up, either,” Chanhee pointed out, running past him to his desk to grab his headphones and whatever else he needed.

 

“I was sleeping, too!” Youngkyun reminded him with a laugh, tossing his bag on his bed so he could grab his computer. He wrapped the charger up, tucking it neatly in his small duffel with the rest of his stuff. 

 

Youngkyun honestly wasn’t bringing much. The break was only a week long, so he really didn’t think he needed to pack his whole dorm, unlike Chanhee. Youngkyun just had his small duffel, holding all the electronics he needed and the clothes he would wash and rewear at his aunt’s house. He had everything he needed from the bathroom and he even had space for an extra pair of shoes. He definitely didn’t forget to pack his small book of phone numbers, and any other notes he may need to get in touch with people.

 

“How do you pack that little?!” Chanhee asked, throwing his many, many skincare products in the one bag he had designated for hygiene, makeup, and skincare.

 

“Because I’m not a walking disaster,” Youngkyun commented, easily zipping up his bag and smiling at his work, all while Chanhee struggled to even get the zipper to budge behind him.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, moving over to Chanhee’s bag and pulling the two ends together to make it easier for the boy to zip closed. 

 

Chanhee patted him on the back with an exhausted smile and Youngkyun rolled his eyes, making his way back over to his bag. He grabbed it by the strap, hoisting it up on his back and pulled his phone out of his back pocket. There was a text from Taeyang.

 

Youngkyun smiled, placing his phone back in his pocket and looking over to Chanhee. “Wanna walk me out and say hi to Taeyang?”

 

“Yes!” Chanhee beamed, dropping his bags on his bed and reaching for Youngkyun’s. He pulled the bag off of his shoulder while he laughed, pulling it onto his own.

 

“You don’t need to carry my bag.”

 

“Holy shit this thing is light,” Chanhee commented, completely ignoring him. Youngkyun rolled his eyes, tossing his arm over his shoulders and leading the both of them to the door.

 

They made it all the way to the elevator in silence before Chanhee made any sort of dumb comment.

 

“Why did you kiss Taeyang?”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. He had said he wouldn’t lie to Chanhee, but the problem was he was leaving now, and he didn’t have the time or patience to explain the whole situation now. 

 

“Because he’s pretty?” Youngkyun said in a question, and Chanhee just gave him a deadpan stare. “What?”

 

“I’m not stupid, Kyun,” Chanhee stated with a short laugh. “I know you’re not actually dating, and I also know you didn’t want to kiss him.”

 

“Wha- what? You knew?” Youngkyun asked, wide eyed at his friend.

 

Chanhee gave him a cheeky smile. “You lie as a personality trait, Kyun. I’ve lived with it long enough to know when you’re lying, and when you’re not.”

 

“I bet you’re wrong.”

 

“I know you were never studying with Taeyang. I know you’re not dating. I know you never wanted to kiss him, but you did. I know your insomnia is back in a sense. I know you and Taeyang both had something to do with Cheolmin becoming CEO of FNC, or at least you’re both related to it. I know Taeyang wasn’t sick when you said he was. I know you and Jaeyoon are friends, but you pretend like you only know each other because of me,” Chanhee listed, looking at the wall ahead of him as he counted with his fingers everything Youngkyun had lied about lately. Youngkyun was shocked, to say the least, because every single thing Chanhee said was true.

 

“How did you-”

 

“Because I’m your best friend,” Chanhee said, finally looking over to him with a teeth exposing smile. “I know when you lie.”

 

“I’m sorry for keeping all of that from you,” Youngkyun said, biting down on disaster of a lip. “I really, really am.”

 

“I know,” Chanhee said with a smile, leaning over to brush their shoulders together. “I know you didn’t mean anything bad by it.”

 

“How?”

 

“Honestly, have you seen yourself lately?” Chanhee asked with a snort. “Kyun, with your insomnia back to some extent, and whatever you and Taeyang are doing, I can tell you’re stressed beyond belief. I’m not mad at you.”

 

“I promise I will tell you everything after break and I’ll-”

 

Chanhee shook his head, smiling as the doors to the elevator opened. “You don’t have to,” he said, hoisting Youngkyun’s bag higher onto his back and walking forward. Youngkyun followed him out like a lost puppy, chasing after him completely and utterly confused. 

 

“What?”

 

“I’m saying it’s okay, Kyun. You are allowed to have secrets of your own. I’m a bit mad that you didn’t think to tell me how panicked you were thinking kissing Taeyang was the best plan for whatever- I can’t even fathom why that was the best plan for anything- but whatever. I got my revenge by making fun of you last night,” he said cheekily, pulling Youngkyun over to the side by the front doors. “So, hey, how about this? You can tell me whatever you want to tell me whenever, but we need rules!”

 

“Rules, rules, okay,” Youngkyun said with a smile, watching the way Chanhee’s eyes lit up at his agreement.

 

“First rule, you have to answer my next question honestly.”

 

“Okay, I swear,” Youngkyun said, holding his right hand up.

 

“Why exactly aren’t you telling me what you’re doing with Taeyang?”

 

“Because it’s a shit storm,” Youngkyun answered immediately. Chanhee raised his eyebrow, so Youngkyun continued. “For example, I had to kiss Taeyang because people were looking for us. They thought we were looking into something we aren’t supposed to be, and we are,” Youngkyun explained. “It was either get caught, or kiss Taeyang.” Chanhee nodded along as he talked, taking in what he said. “You were right. Cheolmin is involved in it all. It’s serious.”

 

“You don’t want me getting caught in the middle?”

 

“I’m not telling you now because, you’re right, I don’t want you getting caught up in anything,” Youngkyun agreed.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

 

“I didn’t want to tell anyone,” Youngkyun said with a shake of his head. “I should have told you, though. I shouldn’t be the one to decide whether you have a part in all of this or not, you should.”

 

“But you’re still not going to tell me?” Chanhee asked with a short laugh and a smile.

 

Youngkyun shook his head with a similar smile. “No, no I’m not.”

 

“It’s okay,” Chanhee said with a nod. “But you’re right, you shouldn’t be the one to decide if I can handle it. However, it’s not my business.”

 

“But it is in a way,” Youngkyun admitted.

 

Chanhee nodded. “You’re right. So, if you decide, or if Taeyang decides you want to tell me, or that you can trust me or whatever, I’ll be waiting for the call, okay? You can call or text me at any time, and you can tell me anything or everything. I’ll be here if you just need to talk about it all, and I’ll be here if you need my help,” Chanhee stated, reaching up to pat Youngkyun’s shoulder again. 

 

Youngkyun smiled, reaching forward to pull Chanhee into a hug, moving his hands around his bag and holding his friend to his chest. “Thank you, Chanhee,” he said, smiling into the hug.

 

“Friends are here to support each other, no matter what, okay?”

 

“I love you.”

 

Chanhee laughed, squeezing into the hug one more time before pulling out of it. “I love you too, Kyun. Now let’s go. You’re boyfriend is waiting.”

 

“Are you going to keep saying that stuff anyways?” Youngkyun asked with a laugh while Chanhee nodded by his side.

 

They walked out to Taeyang sitting calmly in his small, white car, most likely listening to music they couldn’t hear through the closed windows.

 

“No sports car?” Chanhee asked.

 

“No sports car,” Youngkyun confirmed, walking up to the window and knocking on it with his knuckles. Taeyang jumped, looking around quickly before pressing down on the button to roll down the window.

 

“Youngkyun! Hey!”

 

“Aw, you two are such a cute couple,” Chanhee commented, coming up beside Youngkyun with a taunting smile. 

 

“He knows,” Youngkyun pointed out to Taeyang with a nod while Chanhee opened the back door, placing Youngkyun’s duffle inside.

 

Taeyang shook his head with a roll of his eyes, leaning over the center console to see Chanhee better.

 

“You suck, you know that right?”

 

“Last I heard, you suck,” Chanhee said, pointing from Taeyang to Youngkyun and proceeding to move his hands together, fingertips touching like a kiss.

 

“Okay! Okay! Thank you, Chanhee,” Youngkyun said, pulling the door open with another shake of his head.

 

“Hey!” Chanhee called as Youngkyun sat in the passenger seat. Chanhee closed the door for him, leaning through the passenger window with a smile. “Yoo Taeyang!”

 

“Oh god,” Taeyang mumbled, turning to Chanhee with a smile, clearly on the verge of laughing.

 

“Don’t hurt Kyun, okay?”

 

Taeyang held up his hand with an ‘okay’ symbol, and Chanhee nodded. 

 

“I want him back in one piece!”

 

“You got it!”

 

“I’d also like a large pizza, if you can swing one of those,” Chanhee said with a wink before shaking his head, saying he was kidding. “But seriously, if you guys bang over the week-”

 

“Chanhee!”

 

“USE PROTECTION!” Chanhee reminded then with a smile, clearly enjoying the red tints caused on both of their faces. “Okay, I’m done,” Chanhee finally said, holding his hands up in the air with a happy smile on his face. “I’ll see you after break, okay, Kyun?”

 

“Love you, bro,” Youngkyun said, reaching through the window for one last hug.

 

“Love you, too. Don’t forget, you can call. Have fun! And if you two decide you do actually want to become a couple, I  _ require _ a phone call!” Chanhee said, enjoying their embarrassment one more time before blowing kisses to the both of them, backing out of the window with a wave.

 

Taeyang shook his head with a laugh. “I’m almost sorry you had to deal with that all on your own,” he said, turning gently onto the main road.

 

Youngkyun shook his head, astounded. “That brat pretended he didn’t know all night and tormented me.”

 

“It  _ was _ your idea.”

 

“Okay! Again! We don’t need to discuss this!” Youngkyun reminded him, mouth open in shock. 

 

“Actually, I would like to discuss your point of me being a good kisser.”

 

“And I would like to not discuss that,” Youngkyun retorted, adding a laugh in hopes that Taeyang would laugh as well and change the subject. 

 

“You really think so?”

 

“No, you suck,” Youngkyun lied.

 

“I think you’re lying.”

 

“I think you need to mind your own business,” Youngkyun responded with a laugh.

 

“So we’re not telling your aunt we’re a couple?” Taeyang asked with a fake pout.

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

“Then what are we telling her?”

 

↔

 

“Hey, auntie,” Youngkyun said with a wave, his neck shrinking in his shoulders. He tried to keep eye contact with her, but doing that right now was actually really hard for some reason. Maybe it was Taeyang, innocently standing behind him.

 

“Youngkyun, is it break already?” she asked with an empty smile.

 

“Yeah, but the thing is… my-”

 

“Is this your boyfriend?” she asked, eyes wide to Taeyang. Well… her reaction was not expected but it certainly made things easier for Youngkyun.

 

“Yeah,” he lied, making himself look a bit shy about it. “And I would have called earlier, but the thing was, his plans for vacation got cancelled really last minute and-”

 

“Did he drive you two here?” she asked, completely uninterested in why he was there. Youngkyun had to exhale to calm himself down enough to deal with her antics. 

 

“Yes, auntie,” he said with the fakest smile he had probably ever used. “He drove us here in his car.”

 

“What’s your name, dear?” she asked, looking to Taeyang.

 

Taeyang looked to Youngkyun for approval to use his real name, but Youngkyun had no idea if his aunt knew him or not.

 

“Taeyang,” he said quietly.

 

“Well, Taeyang, you’re welcome to stay with us for the week. Come on in!” she said, grabbing Youngkyun’s bag and hauling it inside.

 

“Thought that wasn’t the plan?” Taeyang whispered as soon as she had her back turned.

 

Youngkyun shrugged with a role of his eyes as he watched her call for her children. “Honestly, she just wants me to have a life of my own. If you being my boyfriend who can drive is what it takes for her to let you stay, who am I to say no?” he asked, grabbing the strap of his duffle and leading Taeyang inside.

 

The house was just as he remembered. The lights hung from the ceiling in the most elegant way, and their shoes clicked against the glossy marble floor that shone like it was freshly polished every day. The walls were white, decorated with pictures of his cousins and other family members she was proud of. Simple plants hung from neat pots to add a bit of color to the house, but Youngkyun knew she never watered them herself. 

 

“Youngkyun why aren’t you in any of these?” Taeyang asked, gesturing to the pictures on the walls.

 

“Just… because,” Youngkyun whispered, nodding for Taeyang to follow him into the main room of the house.

 

He always hated his aunt’s house, too, to be honest. He spent half of his life living in some worn down shack with Jaejoong, and then the other half was spent with his aunt in her fancy house with her fancy children.

 

“Hey, Youngkyun,” a girl called, hands on her hips with a disgusted look on her face. 

 

Youngkyun nodded, biting on his lip. “Chaerin! I’ve missed you,” he lied, giving her a fake smile just as thick as the one she gave him.

 

“Youngkyun, why don’t you introduced everybody!” his aunt suggested, moving over to Chaerin to slap her hands away from her hips. Youngkyun snorted lightly at her, enjoying the disgust in her face.

 

“This is my boyfriend, Taeyang,” he lied, smiling at the kids. “Taeyang, this is Chaeyoung, Chaerin, and Chaewoo, my cousins.”

 

“Taeyang?” Chaeyoung asked with a wicked smile on her face.

 

“Yes, Taeyang,” Youngkyun said with a bright smile, burning holes into Chaeyoung’s face for her to keep quiet. The way she looked to Youngkyun like she held something over him confirmed for him that she knew who Taeyang was. “How has Bomin been these days?” he asked, hoping to quiet her.

 

“Stop with your dumb threats,” Chaerin called out, twisting her silky hair around between her fingers.

 

“I just wanted to know about Bomin,” Youngkyun lied with a shrug. He knew Bomin and Chaeyoung broke up last year, and he also knew Chaeyoung almost ran away with him, which was the big chip he had to play against Chaeyoung. Obviously the girl knew who Taeyang was, so he was hoping to shut her up with a threat. He wasn’t above that.

 

“I get it,” Chaeyoung said with raised hands.

 

“Well, while you three fight over who’s the pettiest, I think it’s nice that Youngkyun finally has someone who cares about him in his life,” Chaewoo spoke up with a snort, sending the group of three into hysterics.

 

“That’s funny,” Youngkyun said to the boy, tilting his head. “Good to know you’re still an asshole.”

 

“KIDS!” his aunt called out, silencing everyone at once. “Can we please all just get along?”

 

“We would have been fine if Youngkyun didn’t come back.”

 

“Oh thanks,” Youngkyun said back, hands on his hips. “I feel so welcomed.”

 

“Youngkyun, why don’t you bring Taeyang up to your room so you two can get settled?” his aunt suggested.

 

“EW! Mom, you’re giving them a room together?!” Chaerin cried, throwing her hands up as Youngkyun moved his hand to Taeyang’s back, pushing him along to the hallway.

 

“Don’t worry we won’t-” Youngkyun paused to laugh. “Actually, you never know,” he finished with a wink, just to piss her off.

 

“Mom!”

 

“That’s disgusting!”

 

Taeyang stifled a laugh, picking up the pace as the two walked down the hallway to Youngkyun’s old room. Youngkyun opened the door quickly, pushing them inside before letting out a quiet laugh, closing the door behind him.

 

“I’m sorry but your cousins are-”

 

“Terrible? Awful? Annoying? Brats? The worst? Yeah, you’re right. But we can stay in this room or go out for most of the week, so we don’t really need to spend time around them,” Youngkyun interjected, dropping his duffle on the small bed. The room was plain, which was a bit embarrassing for him for some reason. The walls were all bare, and the only decorated thing was the blankets on the bed. The carpet was a dull color, and the desk in the corner of the room was bare.

 

“Your room is so empty,” Taeyang pointed out.

 

Youngkyun sighed, nodding as he moved to fix the blankets on the bed. “That’s because it’s the guest bedroom,” he stated, leaving the two of them in a still silence. “I wouldn’t unpack much,” he suggested. “My cousins like to mess with the room when I’m out, so it’s easier to tell when they steal something from my bag versus when they steal it from my room. I don’t think they’ll mess with your bag too much, though.”

 

“Youngkyun…”

 

“You might want to keep a small bag on you at all times to keep those files in. If it’s on you, they won’t bother you and mess with it.” Youngkyun reached into his duffle, pulling out a small shoulder bag. He moved his phone into it as well as anything important he packed like his small book and his money.

 

“Youngkyun, you didn’t tell me how shitty this place was,” Taeyang whispered. “The way they treat you… why didn’t you tell me sooner? We could have gone somewhere else or-”

 

“Where?” Youngkyun asked with a shrug. “Plus, my aunt wanted me here this week for whatever reason, anyways,” he continued. “I’m sorry you have to deal with it for the week, but like I said, we can always go anywhere else during the day. Chaerin is confined to her room after nine, Chaeyoung’s curfew is nine thirty, and Chaewoo doesn’t like to bother me much during the night. It’s like an unspoken agreement that I won’t mess with him at night if he doesn’t mess with me.”

 

“It’s like you’re at war with these kids,” Taeyang noted, looking at him with soft eyes. 

 

“I pretty much am,” Youngkyun said with a shrug, making sure his bag was comfortable around his shoulder. “They hate me and I hate them, it’s as simple as that.”

 

↔

 

“Chaerin, you’re seventeen years old,” Youngkyun stated, glaring at her. “Act like it!”

 

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Chaerin retorted, twisting her hair around her finger again.

 

“Then stop looking at my boyfriend like you’re undressing him!” Youngkyun demanded, raising his hand like he was threatening to jab her with his chopsticks. “Even I can tell how uncomfortable he is!”

 

“It’s weird,” Chaewoo agreed, only to back down as Chaerin threatened to hit him.

 

“Kids, please,” his aunt begged, running her hand over her face.

 

“I think Taeyang should tell us about himself,” Chaeyoung suggested, winking at Youngkyun.

 

“I think you should mind your own goddamn business,” Youngkyun fired back, picking up a small piece of his food and shoving it in his mouth angrily.

 

“Youngkyun!”

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

 

“Jerk.”

 

“Hey!” Youngkyun called, looking to his aunt. “If you’re going to call me out, can you call your own daughter out, too?!” he asked, mouth open in shock.

 

“Chaeyoung, be nice.”

 

“I was being nice!” she defended. “I want to give Taeyang a chance to talk! I haven’t even heard him speak yet!”

 

“What kind of boyfriend doesn’t make himself look nice to the family?” Chaewoo asked, scoffing at Youngkyun.

 

“Taeyang only has to make himself look nice to my parents,” Youngkyun stated, pettily eating another bite of his food.

 

“Oh? And where are they?” Chaerin asked, hands folded on the table in fake interest.

 

“Chaerin!” his aunt called, standing up and glaring a hole in the side of her head.

 

“Farther than you in life,” Youngkyun mumbled.

 

“What did you just say?” Chaerin asked, watching Youngkyun place his chopsticks down neatly. 

 

“I  _ said _ , my parents are farther than you in life,” Youngkyun repeated, loud and clear, holding strict eye contact with the girl. “Now doesn’t that say something?”

 

“Youngkyun!”

 

“I’m done if Chaerin is done,” Youngkyun defended, picking up his chopsticks again, returning to his food like no harm was done. It hurt how the cousins talked like Youngkyun’s parents being gone was something to joke about, but he couldn't do much more than talk them up to shoot his cousins down. He pretended like it didn’t hurt.

 

“Taeyang, you’re not eating much,” Chaeyoung pointed out.

 

“Ah, it really is delicious, I’m just not that hungry,” Taeyang said, an obvious lie to cover how uncomfortable he was. He had been fidgeting in his seat since they sat down, and he only seemed to eat when others looked at him directly. Youngkyun nodded, reaching over to pat Taeyang’s back in a comfort.

 

“And he speaks,” Chaewoo muttered.

 

“So what’s wrong with you?” Chaerin asked, cocking her head to the side.

 

“Excuse me?” Youngkyun asked in disgust, looking up to his cousin. “Do you go around talking to people you don’t know like that all the time?” 

 

“Well he’s dating you, so there must be something wrong with him-”

 

“Can we be excused?” Youngkyun asked, turning to his aunt. “Taeyang isn’t hungry, and five more seconds at this table and I’m going to lose my temper.”

 

His aunt nodded with tired defeat, so Youngkyun reached down for Taeyang’s wrist, pulling him up quickly and down the hall. Neither of them said a word until they were back in Youngkyun’s room.

 

“I’m so sorry,” he apologized quickly, shutting the door behind him.

 

“It’s not like you like them either, clearly. It’s not your fault,” Taeyang replied with a shrug. 

 

“Yeah, but nobody should have to sit through that,” Youngkyun argued with a shake of his head, trying to push his temper down. His cousins just made him so mad like that, and it pissed him off even more that he left, like he was letting them win. He really would have lost his temper, though.

 

“I have an idea,” Taeyang proposed, sitting gently on the bed.

 

“An idea?”

 

“Let’s play our game!” he suggested, pulling his legs up onto the bed like he was a little kid while he let his hands fall into his lap.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a small laugh, climbing up onto the bed so he could face Taeyang. He mirrored him, hands in his lap, with a smile on his face.

 

“You first,” he encouraged.

 

“Okay,” Taeyang agreed. “If you could just beam one of your family members out of existence, would you do it?” Taeyang asked with a laugh.

 

Youngkyun started laughing with a nod. “Oh, absolutely. But do I get to pick anyone, or just out of the cousins?”

 

“Out of the cousins!” Taeyang decided.

 

“Bye Chaerin,” Youngkyun decided without any in depth thought. “Okay, if you had an offer to stay anywhere else for the week, would you have taken that offer?”

 

“Absolutely not,” Taeyang denied immediately.

 

“Really?”

 

“I’m not leaving you here to deal with this on your own,” Taeyang said with a laugh. 

 

“Well I appreciate that, but that just means more suffering for you.”

 

Taeyang shook his head with a smile, like he didn’t care much about that. “My turn. If you could get a tattoo, would you?”

 

“Yes! I want a tattoo of the forest!”

 

“Woah, that was fast,” Taeyang said, shocked.

 

“I’ve thought about it before. The forest has a very special place in my heart, so I’d want a beautiful forest or tree tattoo.”

 

“That’s actually nice,” Taeyang admitted with a nod. “I like the idea.”

 

“If you could control every rumor, everywhere, would you want to?”

 

“Yes,” Taeyang said, barely giving the question thought. “I could stop people from thinking bad things about my father, and I could control what was true and what was fake. Much easier for figuring everything out. Also, nobody would talk shit about you.”

 

“Wow, my knight in shining armor,” Youngkyun claimed with a laugh, giving Taeyang a bright smile.

 

“If you could-” Taeyang paused as he spoke, looking up to Youngkyun. His expression quickly dimmed from a bright smile to a solemn look, like he was in thought. “I want to change that. If I… if- if I asked you to tell me every single rumor about me at school, what everybody thought about me and how everybody saw me, would you tell me?”

 

“Taeyang… are you sure you want me to-”

 

“Nobody else should decide whether I can handle the information,” Taeyang said with a smile, the words sounding strangely familiar. “It’s my job to decide that. And if I make a bad decision, that’s on me. But it should be my choice, nobody else’s.”

 

Youngkyun snorted with a nod. “I said that, didn’t I?”

 

“Word for word.”

 

“Okay,” Youngkyun agreed with a nod. “Okay, where do you want me to start?”

 

Youngkyun wanted to feel bad about telling Taeyang what he knew, but the thing was, he didn’t. Taeyang listened as he talked, propping his head up on his hand like he was taking in every single bit of information. Youngkyun told him about the people who liked him for his money, and what everyone thought about his riches. Taeyang didn’t seem sad about what he said, but rather he seemed oddly amused by it. Youngkyun told him about the people who liked him for his looks and his popularity, and what they said about that. Youngkyun told him everything, every single rumor he had ever heard about him and specific people who thought specific things.

 

Lastly, Youngkyun told him about his record as the school’s sex legend, which left Taeyang in tears laughing on the floor. He listed every single person he knew slept with Taeyang, and all the strange rumors he had heard about that, most of which left Taeyang out of breath because he was laughing so hard, but Youngkyun really couldn’t figure out why the boy found it so funny.

 

“Okay, why are you laughing?” he finally asked, gaping at the smiley boy.

 

“Because it’s funny,” Taeyang admitted.

 

“But  _ why _ ?!” Youngkyun asked, laughing with Taeyang just because he started laughing again. “Why is it so funny?!” 

 

“Because I’m a virgin!”

 

Youngkyun’s smile dropped, his eyes looking over Taeyang completely. “No the fuck you are not.”

 

Taeyang bursted into laughter again, hands over his stomach and tears in his eyes. “Yes, I am!”

 

“Okay, no, you can’t be,” Youngkyun defended, a smile forming on his face as Taeyang started laughing again, even though he was trying to fight it back. “I know, because so many people say you’ve slept together, but not one person has said you’re a virgin. I have heard stories from people who have walked in on you-”

 

“Paid off,” Taeyang said with a short laugh, this time, smiling at Youngkyun.

 

“What?”

 

Taeyang shrugged. “When I was a kid, people used to pick on me and look down on me because I was small and liked dancing and music. I didn’t like sports, or trucks, or anything else normal boys my age liked. I felt bad towards my father because I was kind of a weak kid,” he recalled with a laugh. “So I made a deal with Seokwoo and a few other people at the company. Once I was old enough, we started paying people to say they walked in on me with someone, or that they slept with me. They didn’t mind because they had the power to say whatever they wanted about what sex with me was like. The plan worked perfectly, because I became the guy everyone either wanted or wanted to be. That’s what I wanted,” Taeyang admitted with a shrug. “After that, I guess people kind of took those stories to a whole other level. Like, until today, I was unaware I had slept with half of the school,” Taeyang admitted, snorting at the end of his sentence.

 

“But you- but-”

 

“Sorry,” Taeyang said with a smile and a shrug. “I’m a virgin, though.”

 

Youngkyun’s brows furrowed, trying to figure out he could have possibly not noticed that. “But with how many people you kiss-”

 

Taeyang snorted. “Youngkyun. I kiss people, I don’t have sex with them.”

 

Youngkyun’s face turned bright red, remembering what he and Taeyang had made it seem like they were doing. “I- uh-”

 

Taeyang bursted into laughed again, curling over on the bed with a huge smile. “You’re plan worked, Youngkyun. Seokwoo thought we were actually in a relationship because of how far it looked like we were going. I don’t get anywhere close to that with anyone else.”

 

“Oh, wow, what a privilege,” Youngkyun said with a roll of his eyes. “I’m honored.”

 

“I’m serious. I’m a virgin. It’s my biggest secret. I’m kind of happy I was able to fool you, though. I mean, in the end, it’s kind of what I wanted.”

 

“Me being fooled?”

 

“For everyone to think I was some desirable person,” Taeyang confessed. “I hate it now, because everyone acts so fake. But, hey, I get the respect!”

 

“I can’t believe you,” Youngkyun said with a shake of his head, lips parted.

 

But for some reason, Youngkyun wasn’t shocked. Yes, he was mad he hadn’t been able to tell, but he didn’t doubt Taeyang. It made sense. And suddenly, a lot of things made sense. 

 

Taeyang wasn’t some rich, pretty boy who was spoiled as a child and grew up wearing diamond studded earrings. Taeyang worked for the things he wanted. Taeyang cherished his friendships and liked to be around people. Taeyang cared about his father enough to plot a grand scheme to make him seem better for his father’s benefit. Taeyang was light hearted and enjoyed the simple things in life, like pink hair, a dirty car, and a plain dorm room. Taeyang was pure, with a smile that could cure illnesses most likely. Taeyang wasn’t just someone talked about in rumors, or appearing in magazines like some model. Taeyang was a person, and it really showed. He had his secrets, his desires, his goals, and all the while, he had kept them hidden from everyone to benefit the people around him and himself. Taeyang wasn’t the jerk who bumped into him in the halls and slept with every person he saw. Taeyang was his partner in crime, and right now, Youngkyun didn’t think he could ask for a better person to be by his side.

 

“Your turn,” Taeyang said with a smile.

 

“Huh?” Youngkyun asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

“The game. It’s your turn.”

 

“Wait so we’re just going to move on from that like what you just said was a casual answer?”

 

Taeyang laughed, tilting his head to the side with a smile. “I didn’t know you wanted to dwell on the subject of my sex life?”

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Youngkyun defended, pointing an accusing finger at Taeyang. “But you just told me so suddenly and-”

 

“I trust you,” Taeyang said simply, adding a soft smile.

 

“You…”

 

“I trust you.”

 

And maybe that was what finally broke Youngkyun. Those simple words, directed at him and nobody else, were enough to break down some invisible wall in Youngkyun’s mind he didn’t even know was there. The glass came crashing down, shattering in his mind while the words rolled over in his head. Taeyang trusted him like nobody else had before. It didn’t seem to register until his wall had crumbled completely, that this was Taeyang’s biggest secret, and Taeyang trusted him to keep it.

 

“If I wanted to tell you what I couldn’t before,” Youngkyun started, turning over every single word in his mind as he spoke them, “would you listen?”

 

“Yes, of course!” Taeyang said with a smile, his eyes wrinkling at the corners and doing their special eye smile only Taeyang had. “But why… so suddenly?”

 

“Because I trust you.”

 

Youngkyun’s words left them in a quiet silence, just looking between each other like there was nobody else in the world at the moment.

 

“I’m here to listen, Youngkyun. Anything you want to say, I’ll listen,” Taeyang finally spoke, shifting on the bed to get just a bit closer to Youngkyun, sitting up straight like he was ready to support him no matter what.

 

“Kyun.”

 

Taeyang cocked his eyebrow at him, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

 

Youngkyun shrugged, folding his arms around himself. “My friends call me Kyun, and I think it’s long overdue for you.”

 

Taeyang smiled, his teeth showing from behind his lips and his cheeks puffing out in such a way that made him shine. “I’m here to listen... Kyun.”

 

“I was five,” he began, licking his lips as he started talking. He hated how vulnerable he felt just by saying those few words, like his chest clamped up out of instinct, telling him to stop. He didn’t want to stop now, though. “I was five when my mom died. It was a car accident, some drunk driver. We never actually caught him, but, yeah, my mom didn’t make it.”

 

“I’m so sorry…”

 

“No reason to be sorry. Bad shit like that happens,” Youngkyun said honestly. “But after her, my dad started getting into drugs. Just a few days after my seventh birthday he overdosed and passed away,” Youngkyun said, biting lightly on his lip. He was expecting Taeyang to comment on it, to lead the story for him, or to ask questions, But he didn’t. Taeyang didn’t say anything, just showed with his eyes that he was listening. And honestly, that was enough. “I was sent to live with my uncle after that, and-” Youngkyun paused to scoff just thinking of Jaejoong. “Yeah, he was probably the worst possible person who could’ve raised me, but my aunt wanted nothing to do with me, so I didn’t have many options. It wasn’t like I had much of a say in it anyways. But, God, my uncle was terrible. I would go days at a time without eating because he was too damn oblivious to notice we had no food. He put me to work when I was nine and never even paid me. He would have me go to the store to buy medicine for him every week because he’d get arrested if he did it himself. He runs a drug cartel,” Youngkyun clarified, seeing the confused look on Taeyang’s face, his eyes falling to his lap.

 

Youngkyun gave the information a second to sink in before looking up to see the realization on Taeyang’s face. He didn’t elaborate further, figuring knowing he ran a cartel was enough of a personality trait for him on its own.

 

“He was always high and I had to help him out of the bathroom half of the time. He stuffed marijuana in my clothes to smuggle it and it was all I ever smelled as a kid.” Youngkyun shrugged his shoulders with a small smile. “That’s how I knew about your dad, because he runs the underground empire of FNC’s secrets. He taught me everything I know now about spying on people.”

 

“Back then… you went to a monster like that to help me…”

 

Youngkyun nodded, his smile dropping. “A monster... It’s not wrong. He really was the worst.” Youngkyun nervously licked his lips, just thinking about the body on Jaejoong’s floor. “I was eight and a half, coming home from the store when I found Jaejoong with- with a gun pulled to a man’s head.” Youngkyun had tried not to cry, but one sentence into the story and he was already a mess, tears already building up in his eyes. “He said the man stole his money which was bull shit because he stole money all the time. I begged and begged him not to hurt him, but- but he just shot him anyways.” 

 

Youngkyun moved his hands to his eyes, wiping at them uselessly. “He made me look at the body. He told me I needed to be able to handle things like that.”

 

“Is that why-”

 

Youngkyun nodded his head, cutting Taeyang off. “I hate guns,” he said with a shiver and a stuffy voice. He bit down on his lip, more tears coming out as he thought of it. “I didn’t sleep for a week straight. It got so bad that I passed out at school. My uncle didn’t even know I wasn’t sleeping, not that he cared much when he found out anyways. Once I started sleeping again, I started dreaming. Every dream, every single one of them, had a gun in it. Sometimes he would be holding the gun, sometimes that man would be holding it, once Chanhee was even holding it. A few times I was holding it too, which really fucked me up. Every single time, though, without fail. I would wake up screaming half of the nights, terrified to find an actual gun pointed to my head.” Youngkyun was full on sobbing now, his eyes so filled with tears he couldn’t even see.

 

“When I was twelve, my aunt took me in. She finally took me to a doctor and I was diagnosed with insomnia, like no shit. But they didn’t know about the man and the gun and my dreams so- so there’s no way they could have diagnosed PTSD right? I’m pretty sure that’s what it is, but I can’t be sure because I can’t get myself tell a doctor,” he said with a shrug, moving to wipe at his tears. 

 

“So then when my aunt shipped me off to that school, into a dorm with Chanhee, I thought I would wake up with nightmares, screaming about a gun just to wake up in an unfamiliar place. I was terrified… but I didn’t. I went to sleep that night, and I had a dream about the snow. I was- I was walking through a forest. It was dark outside, and the snow was falling all around me. It was so quiet, but it was so peaceful,” he explained with a smile. “And I was just walking through the snow, listening to it crunch under my shoes and seeing it fall from the leaves. It was so real. And I walked through that woods, and when the sun rose I watched the sunrise. It was the most beautiful sunrise I’ve ever seen, even through the trees. It was red, and orange, and purple, and pink, and it just glowed. It was so beautiful.”

 

Youngkyun moved to wipe at his eyes again, feeling how heavy they felt, like the dried tears weighed them down as new ones fell. “I stopped having those dreams after that,” Youngkyun told him, flinching at the memory of the one dream he had had in Taeyang’s dorm. He wouldn’t mention it. He hoped Taeyang had forgotten. “I started sleeping better and I stopped waking up screaming. So I don’t know if it was just the gun that scared me so much back there, or if it was remembering all those dreams.”

 

“But you had another one,” Taeyang pointed out.

 

“Only one,” Youngkyun clarified, nodding, moving his hand to his cheeks again.

 

“What do you think stopped them?” Taeyang asked softly, moving his hand to wipe away at his own tears.

 

“I think it was Chanhee,” Youngkyun said honestly. “I think it was because, for once in my life, I felt safe. I didn’t feel scared... and I didn’t feel alone.”

 

Taeyang smiled, moving forward to pull Youngkyun into a hug, and he accepted it easily. 

 

“I’ve never been able to say that before,” he said honestly. “I’ve never been able to talk about those dreams.”

 

“I’ll fight them all off,” Taeyang mumbled. “I’ll break every gun I see and I’ll even break your uncle if I have to.”

 

Youngkyun giggled at his threat, smiling with a genuine smile as his tears stuck to his face. “Thank you for listening, Taeyang.”

 

“Tae.”

 

“Thank you for listening... Tae.”

 

“I’m your partner in crime,” Taeyang said, pulling away from the hug with a smile. “I’m always here for you.”

 

“And I’m always here for you, too,” Youngkyun said, smiling back at him.

 

“Come on,” Taeyang said, laying back in Youngkyun’s back. He rolled all the way to the wall and laid his arm out flat against the pillow before patting the spot next to him.

 

“Are you kidding me?”

 

“Get over here, partner,” Taeyang demanded, patting the spot beside him again. 

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, pushing himself across the bed and to Taeyang’s side. He sat there, back straight, waiting for Taeyang to move his arm. When he did, he moved it to grab Youngkyun’s arm, pulling him to lay down on the bed, his head resting on Taeyang’s arm. The boy moved to pull Youngkyun closer to him, kicking the blankets over the both of them.

 

Youngkyun couldn’t help but laugh as Taeyang reached over Youngkyun to turn off the light, leaving only a dim light on by the door. “Really, Taeyang?”

 

“I’m going to tell you a story,” Taeyang defended, pulling Youngkyun into his side. He moved his arm to wrap around Youngkyun’s shoulders, comfortably preparing to tell some wild story to help Youngkyun calm down. “I want you to feel safe tonight so you can sleep peacefully.”

 

Youngkyun really would have liked to hear the story, because Taeyang hyped it up so much beforehand that when he started to tell it, Youngkyun closed his eyes to imagine it. He could picture the forest Taeyang described, the deer he talked about and the brave hunter waiting behind a tree. He didn’t hear much after that, though, falling deeper into the warm blankets and Taeyang’s warm embrace. 

 

The deer faded away, the hunter no longer anywhere in sight. Instead, Youngkyun walked through the forest, raising his hand to catch the snow as it fell, crunching under his shoes. And when the sky faded into reds and pinks and yellows, and dimmed to a darker blue, Youngkyun could feel nothing but the chilling sensation of the sunset.


	15. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Due to convenience, I'm going to change the update day to Wednesday permanently. Wednesdays are just much easier for me because the second I decided to post on Thursdays, they became the most stressful day of the week (unrelated to We Fall Together). Sorry for any inconvenience, and thank you for understanding!

To say the least, the past five days had been beyond eventful. 

 

Saturday, Youngkyun had woken up snuggled into Taeyang’s chest, hands wrapped tightly around his waist. He wished he could say he had slept well, but for some reason there was a scratching at the back of his mind, like it had been there all night, preventing him from having a good night of sleep. His eyes felt heavy, and his mind even heavier.

 

Taeyang had noticed how tired and distraught he was minutes after getting up, asking him about a dozen times if he was okay or if he had had any nightmares. Youngkyun wasn’t quite sure how to explain it, but it was like he had been awake all night, although he knew he had been asleep. He really hadn’t slept well, which was already a fantastic start to their break.

 

After breakfast, which consisted of two bowls of cheerios eaten as they walked so they wouldn't have to sit down with the family, Youngkyun’s aunt had insisted that Youngkyun and Taeyang take a day to rest after being at school for so long. They had told her they were going out on a date to the streets of Seoul, but they went to the library instead. Taeyang had argued that it was still a date, and since they were pretending to be a couple, it technically counted. Since they walked to the library, they spent the whole walk arguing about whether their going to the library meant it was a date. Nobody really won in the end, because Taeyang wouldn’t drop his argument and Youngkyun couldn’t seem to win.

 

They spent hours at the library on their laptops searching through suspicious sightings, plane flights around the times of Yoo Haeseong’s disappearance, and criminal reports throughout Seoul, especially Itaewon and Hannam. In the end, though, there was nothing new they could use to find Taeyang’s father, and Youngkyun just felt more mentally and physically exhausted.

 

On Sunday, Youngkyun had woken up to the smell of pancakes, which was weird because his aunt never actually cooked breakfast. She only ever cooked breakfast when company was over to impress them, and it was always traditional foods, certainly not pancakes. Youngkyun didn’t even know how to make those. He wasn't even sure how he knew they were pancakes from the smell, he just did. 

 

“Good morning, Kyun,” Taeyang had said with a smile as he walked out, still rubbing his eyes from the lack of a good sleep. There Taeyang stood, smiling brightly in the kitchen with a pink apron tied around his waist, Youngkyun’s computer open on the counter with a cooking recipe displayed on the screen. His arms had been covered in powdered pancake mix, but there was a plate of successfully cooked pancakes sitting on the counter, still warm.

 

“You said you couldn’t cook,” Youngkyun had reminded him, narrowing his eyes at the boy as he came by his side in the kitchen. Youngkyun was only wearing black shorts under his dark green, oversized hoodie, even though it was quite cold in the mornings, so he tried to get inch to the stove to warm himself up. The smell of the pancakes was also a plus. 

 

“I can’t. Cooking and baking are very different things, and I think pancakes classify as cakes, so that would be baking,” Taeyang had pointed out, smiling as he scraped the spatula under another pancake, flipping it in the air and back onto the small griddle perfectly.

 

It turned out Taeyang had woken up early with the thought in mind that him and Youngkyun could get breakfast together, but he changed his mind when he saw Youngkyun actually sleeping. So, to thank his aunt’s family for taking him in for the week, he cooked- no, baked- breakfast for everyone. The funniest part was that he made the cousins all wait to eat until Youngkyun woke up, because his aunt was still fast asleep so she couldn't tell him otherwise.

 

“You made pancakes for me?” Youngkyun asked with a tilt of his head, smiling at Taeyang, leaning halfway on the counter while he flipped another pancake.

 

“Aren’t you going to be gross and kiss him or something?” Chaeyoung asked, making a kissy face at the two of them from behind the island counter. Chaeyoung, Youngkyun’s nineteen year old cousin, was one problem Taeyang and him had that he just couldn’t seem to deal with. Not only did she know who Taeyang was, but she was completely unconvinced they were dating.

 

And Youngkyun was not kissing Taeyang again.

 

“I don’t have to kiss him just to amuse you,” Youngkyun defended. But then again, if he did nothing, that was making a point of its own. So he slowly walked up behind Taeyang, carefully sliding his arms around Taeyang’s waist, pulling him into a soft back hug while he watched him bake. “They smell good,” Youngkyun commented lazily, staring at the pancakes as he laid his head down on Taeyang's shoulder. Taeyang was unsurprisingly comfortable, and Youngkyun pouted at the thought of eventually moving.

 

“Eat some, then,” Taeyang offered with a laugh, pointing the spatula at the plate of fresh ones.

 

“Fuck, yeah!” Chaewoo cheered, bouncing to his feet and over to the plate, even though Taeyang was absolutely not talking to him. Chaeyoung and Chaerin followed quickly behind him, screaming for him to share them.

 

Taeyang sighed. “Don’t choke,” he warned, voice flat and with very little care as the cousins carried the plate away. He turned his head to see Youngkyun from the corner of his eyes. “Sorry. I’ll make you fresh ones while they scoff those ones down.”

 

“Yay,” Youngkyun cheered with a small bounce, giggling as he sunk down deeper into Taeyang's form.

 

Taeyang had made him special pancakes in the shape of hearts, smiling at him with red cheeks as he presented his work. Chaerin had pretended to barf and Chaeyoung groaned, but Youngkyun, even with his pink tinted cheeks, was beyond happy with his special pancakes. With Taeyang around, dealing with the cousins was becoming bearable. Chaewoo approved of Taeyang, even if he didn’t say it, Chaeyoung had no interest in messing with Taeyang knowing who he was, and Chaerin got shot down every chance she got because Taeyang always defended him. Taeyang was like his shield. Plus, with Taeyang at his side, he looked a bit more mature, and maybe even better than the cousins in general.

 

Sunday was spent with the cousins and Youngkyun’s aunt. They all went to the park together, fighting the whole time of course, but Taeyang seemed to enjoy himself so it was alright. He laughed a few times in the car while everyone bickered, and even though Youngkyun was annoyed, he felt himself smiling a bit whenever Taeyang found anything funny. The fresh air seemed to help him calm down from the current situation, too. At one point, he had tried to feed the pigeons with a happy smile and puffed out cheeks, like everything was fine with the world. It was amazing, because watching Taeyang run around a public park was like watching a person see a park for the first time. Taeyang grabbed his hand to pull him around, and at certain points he would link their fingers just to walk, and Youngkyun knew it was to make it look like they were a real couple. 

Youngkyun thought they were going to get caught when his aunt asked Taeyang why he had to wear his mask outside, but thankfully, and surprisingly, Chaeyoung jumped in. Apparently Taeyang was sensitive to the cold weather. 

 

On Monday, Taeyang had run to the bank to deal with a few more financial issues between him and the company. Youngkyun had warned him to be careful, and Taeyang promised to go, take care of what he needed to quickly, and run back.

 

While he did that, Chaewoo had friends over. The funny part was that their aunt had gone out for the day, meeting with friends, she said. So Chaewoo invited not only his guy friends, but a girl as well. Youngkyun was ready to throw Chaewoo under the bus completely, but he decided to be a nice person and talk him up like a wing-man. The girl definitely seemed into him, so Youngkyun figured it would make his life for the rest of the week much easier if he just helped Chaewoo out.

 

One of his friends, some boy Youngkyun was sure he used to go to school with, recognized him easily and tried to pick on him, but Chaewoo was nice enough to tell him to back off. Chaewoo even invited Youngkyun to play games with them, but Youngkyun declined, already happy enough that him and his cousin seemed to be on decent terms. He was hoping to keep it that way.

 

On Tuesday, Youngkyun’s aunt took everyone out for a surprise dinner. It was a nice surprise considering him and Taeyang had spent hours at the library before, doing even more research to no avail.

 

It wasn’t the fanciest restaurant, but it was still a pretty decent place which meant they had good food, which was all Youngkyun really cared about. They all sat around one big table, Taeyang seated between Youngkyun and Chaeyoung, Chaewoo by Youngkyun’s side, and Chaerin on his side. Youngkyun was actually relieved to have Chaewoo sitting by him, all things considered.

 

“I like Taeyang,” Chaewoo had announced half way through the dinner, raising his glass for a toast. “I think he’s pretty cool, considering he’s dating Youngkyun.”

 

“Watch it,” Youngkyun whispered.

 

“I would like to officially welcome him to the family. When you become famous one day, don’t forget us.”

 

Taeyang was good with controlling his expression, but Youngkyun couldn’t help but cover his mouth and mask his snort as a cough. Chaeyoung even cracked a smile, pulling her lips in a line to hide it.

 

So it wasn’t hard after that to figure out that Chaewoo was only being nice to him because he liked Taeyang, but Youngkyun really wasn’t going to argue with anything considering there were still four days left.

 

Wednesday, Youngkyun had woken up, tired again just as he had been waking up all week. Taeyang had suggested they call Chaewon, Insik’s daughter who they had sent to Busan. They had tried several times to reach her with any phone numbers they knew of, but she never answered.

 

Later that night, Chaerin had decided to start a game of truth or dare with the kids of the house. She seemed all too excited to invite Youngkyun and Taeyang to play, which made them originally decline. However, after attempting to escape to their rooms, they were pulled back out to the main room of the house to play anyways.

 

“Truth or dare?” Chaerin had asked to Youngkyun.

 

“Truth,” he had agreed with a roll of his eyes.

 

“When did you first meet Taeyang?”

 

See, there was a major problem after this with who knew what in the house. Youngkyun couldn’t say he had only met Taeyang about three weeks prior, so he told the group they had met four months ago. The only issue with this was the very public rumors of who Taeyang slept with, the latest being Baek Juho, about two months ago. Chaeyoung obviously knew who Taeyang was, and she obviously knew about the rumors as well, which just made everything a lot more complicated because now she _knew_ they were lying.

 

“Truth or dare,” Chaeyoung had asked Taeyang, lifting her eyebrows suggestively at the poor boy.

 

“Dare,” Taeyang said with a wince, also knowing the consequences of agreeing to a truth.

 

“I dare you to kiss Youngkyun with tongue, right now.”

 

“Chaeyoung, that’s absolutely disgusting,” Chaerin had commented.

 

Chaeyoung had just shrugged. “They haven’t kissed all week. Are we sure they’re even-”

 

Chaeyoung didn’t even get to finish her sentence before Taeyang was on top of Youngkyun, one hand on his cheek and one hand on the floor, holding him over Youngkyun as he pressed their lips together, not wasting any time to slip his tongue in.

 

Youngkyun froze, completely shocked, until Taeyang tapped the side of his head with his finger, reminding him that they were supposed to be a couple. So Youngkyun had closed his eyes, moving his lips along with Taeyang’s for only a few seconds more before Taeyang pulled away with a smile, winking at Youngkyun.

 

“That was so uncalled for,” was all he could manage to say.

 

Youngkyun didn’t forget to threaten Taeyang with him sleeping on the floor before going to bed, but Taeyang just smiled, sincerely apologizing. Youngkyun just pouted and let him back into his bed.

 

Now, the weather had predicted a thunderstorm that night, so Youngkyun was fully expecting the night to be filled with booms and cracks from the sky. When he woke up, though, feeling like he had spent the whole night staring at the sun, he woke up to absolute silence. The sky was covered over completely with grey, puffy clouds while the scenery around them just faded into their own respectful grey tones. The streets were quiet, and when Youngkyun went outside for some fresh air, he could see his own breath. It was getting cold outside quickly, and Youngkyun felt unreasonably uncomfortable about the weather.

 

Today was Thursday, and him and Taeyang had to spend two more full days at this house before they could leave on Saturday and return their full attention to the situation they had, which also unnerved Youngkyun.

 

It was quiet.

 

Cheolmin hadn’t made anymore statements, and FNC didn’t have any reports or scandals. Everything was just so eerily quiet, and Youngkyun couldn’t help but bite down on his lip and shiver at the thought. He hated the silence of the situation, and though he didn't want any bad news, he was just hoping for  _any_ news at this point. He wanted to know they were busy with other things, and not focused on him and Taeyang.

 

“If I come back and this house smells like sex, I’m drowning you,” Chaerin threatened, pointing an accusing finger at Youngkyun. Youngkyun just shook his head, raising his hands in careless innocence while Chaerin tightened her bag around her shoulder.

 

"I don't think you'll have to worry about that," Chaeyoung mumbled, pursing her lips as she reached up to tuck her hair behind her lips. Youngkyun couldn't help but narrow his eyes at her.

 

The girls had spent almost all week home, so now they were leaving for a girl’s night out with the whole distant family. Chaewoo was already gone for a night with his friends, and Youngkyun and Taeyang would have the house entirely to themselves for the night.

 

“Remember this isn’t your house, okay Youngkyun?”

 

“Got it, auntie,” he said, raising his hand with an okay symbol as she closed the door, rushing the cousins out. “Finally,” he whispered the second the door was closed, bending his neck back as he groaned in relief. Taeyang laughed at him, giving him a smile as he nodded in agreement.

 

"No offense to your family or anything, but-" he started.

 

"So glad they're gone," Youngkyun finished for him with a smile, and Taeyang just cracked up. 

 

Youngkyun moved to the window quickly, watching through the dark night as the car pulled out of the driveway, brake lights disappearing through the darkened sky. When the car was completely gone from view, no chance of them stopping at the edge of the driveway to retrieve something they had forgotten, Youngkyun spun around, looking to Taeyang with challenging eyes.

 

“Movie night?”

 

“Yes! Yes!" he cheered happily. "I need a night to just relax without..."

 

“Without a game of truth or dare?" Youngkyun asked with pointed eyes, causing Taeyang's smile to drop in exchange for disbelief. 

 

"Okay, I deserved that comment," he agreed after a moment, causing Youngkyun to snort completely against his will.

 

 

They ended up watching Mulan, because Youngkyun had never seen it before, and Taeyang seemed to take that personally.

 

The two were snuggled up on the couch, one blanket over the both of them with a large bowl of popcorn resting on their legs. Youngkyun was absolutely captivated by the movie, following every scene with every bit of his focus. It was just a children's movie, but Youngkyun hadn't seen most of them. Animated movies were kind of lost on him for the most part of his childhood, but now it seemed like one of the best movies he had ever seen. The lights around them were turned off, leaving nothing to see but the TV screen, not that Youngkyun would focus on anything else anyways. 

 

They had gotten decently far in the movie when a knock came at the door. Youngkyun rolled his eyes, looking to the door when the knock started again, pounding louder and louder and faster the longer they kept whoever it was waiting.

 

“Pause it,” Youngkyun told Taeyang, moving the bowl to his partner’s lap and flipping the blanket off of him. “And stay here,” he added, moving swiftly to the door as Taeyang paused the movie.

 

Youngkyun walked quickly to the door, bare feet pattering against the cold floor. When he reached it, he didn't even bother checking who it was, knowing he wouldn't be able to see them from the side window due to the bad angle, he just pressed down on the handle lightly only for the door to be shoved open, pushing him aside in shock. A tall man walked in, looking right at Youngkyun with wide eyes. He had his hair up, or, like it was supposed to be styled up. He looked a bit messy and frazzled now. His suit wasn't exactly neat, hanging out of the waist band of his pants and wrinkled in every possible spot. It was almost like he had rushed here, which Youngkyun guessed by how out of breathe he was, even though he tried to hide it.

 

“Seokwoo?!”

 

“Youngkyun,” Seokwoo greeted with a nod of respect, walking past him swiftly. Youngkyun assumed he was there to look for Taeyang, but he didn’t get much of a chance as Taeyang walked out, stepping in front of him with narrowed eyes.

 

“Seokwoo, what the hell?”

 

Seokwoo snorted, smirking at Taeyang. “I thought that was Mr. Kim to you?” The house went silent, Taeyang and Seokwoo just watching each other. There was bad air around them, Taeyang radiating distrust while Seokwoo just watched him, a smirk still on his face. “It’s good to see you, Taeyang,” he finally spoke.

 

Taeyang’s lips parted to say something, but his eyes made it seem like he changed his mind. “I don’t think I can say the same to you,” Taeyang said honestly.

 

“That’s fine,” Seokwoo admitted immediately, looking back to the door and turning to the two of them. “But you two need to leave.”

 

“I’m sorry, what?” Taeyang asked, actually laughing as he looked from Seokwoo to Youngkyun, and back to Seokwoo. “First you drove me away from my father, then you ran me out of the company. After that you chased me away from my home, and now you’re telling me to leave my boyfriend’s home?”

 

“Cut the fucking act, Taeyang,” Seokwoo snapped, looking back to the door and over to Youngkyun, looking him up and down with a snort. “Boyfriend.” Seokwoo looked to Taeyang, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I actually bought your stupid act. No way you would ever go that far with a guy you just met, especially during a time like this.”

 

“Stay out of my life,” Taeyang snapped back, glaring at Seokwoo, not letting his eyes leave him. Youngkyun just looked between the two boys, having absolutely no idea what to do.

 

“Not yet,” Seokwoo said with a shake of his head, looking back to the door. “Not until both of you leave. You have to go, right now.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Taeyang, pack your fucking bag and go!” Seokwoo screamed, his voice echoing around the house and bouncing off the walls, ringing in their ears and creating a silence so thick Youngkyun was afraid to breathe. Taeyang's eyes went wide from shock at the boy's outburst. “I’m risking my ass to get you both out of here, so don’t make me regret it. Get your bags now!”

 

Taeyang almost argued. Almost. He parted his lips to fight back, but without even looking back up to Seokwoo, he looked to Youngkyun and turned on his heel, moving back to the room with Youngkyun right behind him to grab their bags, still packed because of the cousins. They slung them over their shoulders quickly, making their way back to the front doors where Seokwoo grabbed their shoulders, pushing them outside with quick steps. Youngkyun barely had time to lazily slip shoes on his feet. He pushed them to their car quickly, opening the back door for them and grabbing Youngkyun’s bag from his shoulder, tossing it in the back.

 

“Seokwoo-”

 

“You two need to be more careful,” Seokwoo warned, shutting the car door. “Going to that suit tailor and asking questions was a big mistake. They know you’re looking into them, and when they get here and find out Youngkyun left with you, they’ll know he was a part of it the whole time, too.”

 

“Who’s they?” Taeyang asked, his breath coming out in puffs of cold air as his arms curled around his body, hugging himself for warmth. 

 

“Taeyang-”

 

“ _ Who’s they? _ ” Taeyang asked again, water brimming his eyes as he grimaced in the cold. Youngkyun knew he was angry, but he didn't really look it now. Taeyang just looked upset, pissed, and done with the world. He looked like Seokwoo was the last person he expected anything from, and yet even he was beginning to fail him.

 

“Cheolmin,” Seokwoo told him with a sigh of defeat. “Listen, Taeyang. Cheolmin knows you’re looking into him. Your presence is a threat to him. Be smart and hide now while you still have a chance-”

 

“Why are you even here?” Taeyang asked with a shake of his head, stumbling back a step towards the car, moving his hand out to catch himself on it.

 

Youngkyun wasn’t even sure what to do at this point. He just stood by Taeyang’s side, watching him back away from the taller man as pain crossed over Seokwoo’s face again.

 

“Where’s my dad?” Taeyang asked, changing his question when Seokwoo didn’t answer. “You know, don’t you?”

 

“You need to leave,” Seokwoo repeated, turning his head away for a moment. Youngkyun didn’t miss the way he pulled his lips away like he had to fight himself to say every word he was saying, and to not say every word he wasn't. “You need to stop digging into everything.”

 

“He’s my  _ father _ ,” Taeyang argued his voice audibly cracking, his throat closing up as he tried to stop himself from screaming. “He’s my  _ father _ !” he repeated, looking to Seokwoo like he was a real monster. “He used to play with us when we were kids. You grew up around him so how can you-”

 

“Taeyang!”

 

“We’ll leave,” Taeyang decided, the broken look on his face quickly replaced with the anger he had been trying to suppress. He reached into his pocket and dug the keys out of them, throwing them to Youngkyun. Youngkyun caught them, wincing as the cold metal stung his fingers. “But we’re done,” he spat, blinking away the water in his eyes before returning to his cold stare. “You’re helping me now, so I’ll consider that reparation for all the secrets you’ve kept from me,” Taeyang stated, biting on his lip after saying it. He gave Seokwoo a chance to speak, but the boy said nothing, so he continued. “After this, I never want to see you again.”

 

Seokwoo nodded, looking down to the ground as he pulled his lips into a thin line. He continued to nod, blinking quickly as he looked back up to Taeyang.

 

“Goodbye, Taeyang.”

 

Taeyang seemed to freeze on the spot, watching his old friend stand in front of him, saying goodbye. He had said it so easily, not even thinking for a second after Taeyang spoke to agree. The wind blew around them, carrying the silence with it as it blew through the trees, filling the space around them with sounds of a storm.

 

Taeyang blinked, looking around him, and then to Youngkyun with panicked eyes. He took one last look at Seokwoo, stepping back as he did. He looked scared and cracked, and Youngkyun hated it.

 

“Goodbye, Seokwoo,” he said, turning away as soon as it was out, running to the passenger door as Youngkyun ran to the driver’s seat, not daring to look back at the boy. He got in the seat, jabbing the key in its spot before putting the car into reverse, pulling out as soon as Taeyang had closed his door. He took off quickly, reaching to the center console and handing Taeyang a mask. He grabbed one for himself, driving with one hand and hooking the mask over his ears with the other. 

 

“Taeyang, are you-”

 

“Please, just drive,” Taeyang begged, sniffling as he said it.

 

Youngkyun’s eyes flickered over to Taeyang as he drove, his desire to ask if his friend was okay crushed by his guilt. He wasn’t even sure why he felt so guilty. Maybe he felt bad for leaving Seokwoo back there, or maybe he just felt bad for Taeyang, losing his last friend like that. He wasn’t sure, but it was that crushing weight inside his chest that turned his eyes back to the road and closed his throat.

 

“Where?” he asked with a shaky breath, looking around for any road to turn down.

 

“I don’t know,” Taeyang admitted, pulling his arms around himself and more or less curling into a ball on the passenger seat, legs pressed against his chest and arms wrapped around himself in a hug. “Anywhere,” he suggested.

 

“We can’t just go anywhere,” Youngkyun argued, biting down on his lip. He looked to the rear view mirror, watching the house fade completely from view. “Tae, this is serious-”

 

“Go to a hotel or something,” Taeyang suggested with a quiet voice, cracking in and out of a whisper. 

 

“We can’t,” Youngkyun argued. “I’m sorry, because I know everything is really hard for you right now, but I need help figuring this out,” Youngkyun admitted, picking up the speed. “It’s going to be hard for just a little while longer, okay?” Taeyang didn’t respond, and Youngkyun had no idea what to do to help him right now. “Nobody knew I was coming to my aunt’s but Chanhee, and he doesn’t know the address,” Youngkyun continued, having no idea what to do but find a place to go. “That means they went through my personal files and records to find out where I would be. If they’re going this far, they’ll go through hotels and saunas, too.”

 

“What about Chanhee?” Taeyang asked quietly, pressing the side of his head against the glass. “Could we stay with him?”

 

Youngkyun shook his head. “They’ll check the school.”

 

“Jaeyoon?”

 

“He lives at the drug cartel most nights. If he’s not there, he’s with his parents who work for FNC,” Youngkyun told him, biting down on his lip.

 

“Sanghyuk?” Taeyang asked, his voice coming out in a crack.

 

“Sanghyuk moves from place to place. He stays at hostels and homeless dens a lot. Those places aren’t safe. Most of those people would turn you in at the first chance.”

 

Taeyang sighed, pulling his head away from the window and lying it flat against the headrest of the seat. “I don’t know what you want me to say, then,” Taeyang admitted, moving his hand to rub at his eyes. “Everyone I knew worked for FNC. I have no one left on my side.”

 

The car filled with silence, Youngkyun biting his lip as he looked around him at the streets. He had to think, and he couldn’t make a mistake now. FNC was one of the most popular companies in South Korea, and Taeyang was a popular face because of it. They needed to go somewhere secluded, somewhere nobody would think to check. That meant private property. They couldn’t have known relations to the person, and the person had to be willing to help.

 

“Why don’t we leave Seoul?” Taeyang suggested, his throat audibly closing up as he suggested it. 

 

“They’ll track the license plate of the car from this location when they find out about it,” Youngkyun admitted with a shake of his head. “If we leave now, without a plan, they’ll definitely find us.”

 

“Then what?” Taeyang asked with a quiet sigh. Youngkyun really had no idea what to say as he flicked on the blinker, taking a turn down some road he was hoping might lead them to an answer. Taeyang was silent beside him, but he knew the boy was on the verge of breaking. He needed an idea. He needed to get Taeyang somewhere nobody would find him. He needed to rest, and Youngkyun needed time to think of an actual plan. They needed somewhere to stay the night where Taeyang would be okay, or as okay as he could be.

 

“Do you remember playing TAG as a kid?” Youngkyun asked, bits and pieces of an idea coming together like a puzzle in his mind. It was a bad idea. It was probably Youngkyun’s worst idea ever, but those kinds of ideas seemed to be working like band aids, temporarily. Temporary was all he needed.

 

“Yeah, of course,” Taeyang replied, sniffling quietly.

 

“How did you outrun the kids who were faster than you?”

 

Taeyang snorted, no humor behind his reaction. “You don’t outrun the kids who are faster than you,” Taeyang stated. “You just run as fast as you can until your lungs are burning and they catch you anyways.”

 

“What about the zig zag?”

 

“What the fuck is that?”

 

“You know, when you move to one side, so the person who’s ‘it’ moves that way too, but then you move the other way and catch them off guard,” Youngkyun explained. “You trick them.”

 

“What does this have to do with us being hunted down like criminals?” Taeyang asked, rubbing at his eyes again.

 

“We have to trick them,” Youngkyun stated, turning the car in a sudden U turn. Taeyang braced himself against the door of the car with very little care as Youngkyun made the sudden turn. “I know a place in Jeungsan, near the edge of Seoul. We can drive that way, make it look like we’re going out of Seoul and into Goyang, and then disappear.”

 

“We’re not magicians, Kyun. We can’t just disappear,” Taeyang said.

 

Youngkyun shook his head, pressing down on the gas. “Yes, we can. We drive into Goyang, making sure our license plates are caught on camera, before shifting onto the back roads, heading back into Seoul. We can use the back roads to get to Jeungsan, and from there I can make sure we’re not caught. I know every street and camera in that section of Seoul, so much so that I could point them all out with my eyes closed. We’ll go to that place, and stay there for the night. We’ll figure out what to do from there.”

 

“Are you sure we can stay in Jeungsan?”

 

Youngkyun scoffed. “No, and it’s going to be hell. But we don’t really have another choice right now.”

 

↔

 

Youngkyun felt surreal looking at the house in front of him, paint peeling at the sides and looking close to falling apart at the seams. He took a deep breath, just staring at the house.

 

“There’s another car here,” Youngkyun noted, looking to the silver car parked on the side of the road with the old red car that could barely be considered a working car. It, like the house, was falling apart.

 

“What does that mean?” Taeyang asked, looking to Youngkyun with wide eyes. 

 

“It means don’t pull your mask down,” Youngkyun told him, reaching over to tuck the mask over Taeyang’s nose. He reached behind him, grabbing a small black hat from the back seat and snugly tucking it onto Taeyang’s head. “Don’t show your face.”

 

“Okay-”

 

“And stay in the car,” Youngkyun continued.

 

“What?” Taeyang looked at Youngkyun with worry filled eyes, looking from him to the house. “You can’t expect me to just let you go by yourself-”

 

“I’m coming right back,” Youngkyun promised with a nod. He looked up to the house, noting the lack of any lights. “They already know we’re here so it’ll be easy. Just don’t leave the car until I come back to get you.”

 

Youngkyun didn’t wait for a response before pushing his door open, stepping out into the cold and wrapping his arms around himself.

 

“Put your fucking hands up!” 

 

Youngkyun turned to the door of the house, still frozen in place by the car as Jaejoong stood in nothing but a light shirt and his boxers, a rifle in hand pointed right at Youngkyun.


	16. His Decision

“Jaejoong, it’s me!” Youngkyun yelled, hands flying to the air as his eyes flung closed. His heart beat rose, his senses tingling around as his eyesight, even with closed eyes, speckled around with black spots. “It’s me! It’s me! It’s me!”

 

He heard quick footsteps scurrying around him, running up to him as warm hands grabbed onto the side of his face. 

 

“Please put the gun down, Jaejoong! It’s me!” Youngkyun continued to scream as he felt tears slide down his cheek. He turned his face away, pulling back his lips and he started feeling his breath come out in choppy spurts. The tears fell from his cheeks as he choked out sobs, holding his eyes closed so tightly they were beginning to hurt.

 

“He’s not going to hurt you,” he heard, arms coming around his body in a comforting warmth.

 

Youngkyun choked up, melting into Taeyang’s hands as he shrunk in his shadow. He hid his face into Taeyang’s shoulder and cowered behind him, soaking his shirt in the cold as he shook..

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Taeyang promised.

 

Youngkyun felt him turn, and he cracked his eyes open to see the boy holding his head at a low angle, hiding it. “Put the gun down!” he yelled out.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jaejoong mumbled, his heavy steps travelling towards them. He reached them quickly, pushing Taeyang away with a scowl on his face while Youngkyun reached out for him effortlessly. “What the fuck are you doing here-”

 

“Jaejoong-”

 

“You have no fucking right coming here after that stunt you pulled at my den. Do you even-”

 

“Jaejoong please-”

 

“You said you wanted to never see me again so what audacity do you have to-”

 

“Please put the gun down!” Youngkyun screamed, biting on his lip as the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. Youngkyun closed his eyes tightly, trying to avoid seeing the rifle still in Jaejoong’s hands. The image stuck in the back of his eyes, picturing the gun held up towards him, or towards that boy all those years ago.

 

“What in the hell are you-”

 

“Oh for the love of fucking god,” Taeyang mumbled. Youngkyun looked up to see Taeyang reaching for the gun, ripping it from Jaejoong’s hands and turning it over, pressing a small red button on the side. He reached below it, pulling the magazine out and shoving it in his pocket, tossing the now unloaded gun way off to Jaejoong’s sad excuse for a front lawn. It fell to the ground with a loud clack, causing Youngkyun to flinch as he expected to see a bullet flying out of it, but nothing happened.

 

Youngkyun felt like he couldn’t breathe, watching his uncle glare at Taeyang as Taeyang glared right back, his dark eyes piercing through the stray strands of blonde hair, locked on Jaejoong.

 

“Youngkyun?” Jaejoong asked quietly, but filled with held back anger.

 

“Yes?” Youngkyun found himself mumbling in a small voice, watching through his tears as Jaejoong’s eyes never left Taeyang. 

 

“Why the hell are you at my house with Yoo fucking Taeyang?”

 

“We need a place to stay for the night,” Youngkyun spoke softly, biting on his lip. It stung as he bit it, but the pain was so insignificant compared to the fear that filled his chest as he watched Jaejoong and Taeyang stare each other down. 

 

“I didn’t hear you.”

 

“I said we need a place to stay for the night,” Youngkyun spoke louder, blinking away what he could of his tears as he watched Jaejoong. His eyes flickered to the gun on the lawn, unloaded, before shakily moving back to Jaejoong. “You know what’s going on, right?”

 

“I thought I raised you better,” Jaejoong commented under his breath, turning to Youngkyun with malice in his eyes.

 

“Raised is one strange choice of words,” Youngkyun commented, looking to his feet as he backed away from Jaejoong a step.

 

“What makes you think I won’t turn you in?” Jaejoong asked, ignoring Youngkyun’s comment as he stepped forward, looking down at Youngkyun. Youngkyun’s foot inched backwards, his eyes too scared to look up. “You show up at  _ my _ fucking house, rip my own gun from my hands, and just expect me to welcome you in? Oh, right! Come on in! Would you like some tea while we’re at it?!”

 

Youngkyun bit down on his lip again, looking up to Jaejoong with actual anger in his eyes. It rose so fast, like smoke in a fire. The fear in his chest tightened, bubbling into anger as Jaejoong took another step forward.

 

“Turn us in,” Youngkyun whispered, his eyes slowly traveling up to Jaejoong’s face, finding only cold eyes staring back at him. Youngkyun felt scared, watching Jaejoong glare at him with such malice. Youngkyun had never liked it when Jaejoong got mad, and he certainly didn’t like it now. But Youngkyun was so past following his orders like a scared soldier.

 

“Turn you in?” Jaejoong asked, taking another step forward. Youngkyun’s muscles froze, refusing to move as Jaejoong towered over him. And as much as Youngkyun didn’t like when Jaejoong was mad, he didn’t liked being looked down on more.

 

“I dare you,” Youngkyun sneered, biting on his lip as he did and tasting the metallic blood dip onto his tongue.

 

“Don’t think I won’t.”

 

“I know you won’t,” Youngkyun stated as a fact. “You were a shit substitute for a parent, but you never put me in danger.” Jaejoong rolled his eyes with a scoff, but Youngkyun wasn’t done yet. “You did what I really fucking hope wasn’t your best to keep me safe, because that would be disappointing, even for you,” Youngkyun spat, taking a small step forward, so close that he could feel Jaejoong’s breath. “You won’t turn us in,” he challenged.

 

“I will if you keep pissing me off,” Jaejoong sneered, taking a small step back and breaking the eye contact. “What the hell did you even expect? You bring Yoo Taeyang here and try to threaten me and you think that will just work?”

 

“I think you threatened us first,” Youngkyun pointed out with his teeth bared together. He looked down to the ground before looking back up to Jaejoong, narrowing his eyes at the old man. 

 

“What the hell are you doing, boy?” Jaejoong asked, breaking his glare with a sad glance and a shake of his head. “You think parading around with some broken person is going to give you something to live for?”

 

“Don’t call him broken,” Youngkyun threatened, stepping forward so he was in Jaejoong’s face again. “Don’t insult him, and don’t you dare assume anything about what he’s going through. You don’t have to suffer through loss of any kind, you just cause it. So don’t call him broken, and don’t assume we’re doing this for fun,” Youngkyun spat. “We are tired, and you know as well as I do that people are looking for us. We needed somewhere to go where they would never think to check, and what better place than the home of a man who is so paranoid that he lied about his nephew for three years?”

 

“You need to watch it,” Jaejoong threatened back, moving his hand to Youngkyun’s shoulders and pushing him. Youngkyun stumbled back, gaping at Jaejoong’s childishness.

 

“My god…”

 

Youngkyun looked up to the door with a flinch, watching as a man stepped out from behind it, some sort of drug in his hand as he stared wide eyed at Youngkyun.

 

“Deoksoo…” Youngkyun whispered

 

His mouth fell open, watching as the old man came walking down the porch steps, eyes locked on Youngkyun with awe.

 

“My god… Kim Hwiyoung.”

 

Youngkyun flinched, his breath catching in his throat, as his eyes flickered momentarily to Taeyang. He hadn’t wanted him to hear that name.

 

“It’s nice to see you, Deoksoo,” Youngkyun said honestly, biting on his lip as he gave the man a small smile as he approached them. The man came closer, pulling Youngkyun into a gentle hug. He patted his back, backing away while he held onto Youngkyun’s shoulders with a proud smile as Jaejoong rolled his eyes from behind them.

 

“How many years has it been, my boy?”

 

Youngkyun breathed out a small laugh. “Seven years, maybe,” he recalled.

 

“Jaejoong!” Deoksoo called proudly. “You didn’t tell me your son was coming back tonight!” He turned back to Youngkyun excitedly. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

 

“They were just leaving,” Jaejoong said, cutting his friend off.

 

“Joong, don’t be so harsh,” Deoksoo scolded, turning back to Youngkyun. “But what brings you back? I never thought I’d see you again,” Deoksoo said honestly, looking Youngkyun over, like he was memorizing his every detail.

 

“My friend got a little hurt,” Youngkyun lied immediately, nodding his head towards Taeyang. Immediately, Taeyang dipped his head, hiding his eyes from his face. “Some thugs scuffed him up pretty badly, but they’re still looking for us. I knew they wouldn’t be able to find us here, but I only needed a place to patch him up a bit.”

 

“I can help-”

 

“No, it’s fine,” Youngkyun denied quickly with a small smile and a shake of his head. “It’s small, and it’s personal business too.”

 

“Joong,” Deoksoo called, turning to the old man. “He’s your fucking son, let him stay the night!”

 

“What the fuck do you know?” Jaejoong snapped at Deoksoo, glaring at him with his arms crossed.

 

“I know Hwiyoung hasn’t been home in seven years because you drove him off when he was twelve. Twelve! He would have rather stayed with his whore of a mother than with you. The least you could do is let him stay a god damn night. Not like you were busy anyways,” Deoksoo reasoned, looking between him and Youngkyun.

 

“Don’t call my mother a whore,” Youngkyun told him, looking away as soon as he said it. He didn’t want to upset the one person who was helping them right now, but he felt the need to defend his mother, who was played off as nothing more than Jaejoong’s one night stand.

 

“It’s just an occupation, Hwi,” Deoksoo said, but Youngkyun never wanted to hear his mother being called such a name ever again, especially when she had a higher degree than he would ever have in his life. And the correct term was sex worker, but Youngkyun wasn’t about to call him out on that.

 

“This isn’t your business, Deoksoo, so butt out,” Jaejoong told him, glaring around the group of them.

 

“It became my business when you slapped him across the face in front of me!” 

 

Youngkyun winced at Deoksoo’s comment, not because it was wrong, or because it would upset Jaejoong, but because Taeyang was listening; although he wasn’t quite sure why that mattered so much after everything else that had already been said. 

 

“My friend needs to be patched up,” Youngkyun lied again, moving over to Taeyang and pulling his arm over his shoulder. “We’ll head inside.”

 

“No you fucking won’t,” Jaejoong stated, stepping towards him when Deoksoo stepped between them.

 

“Thanks, Deoksoo,” Youngkyun told him with a smile and a small bow of his head.

 

“I hope to see you again, kiddo.”

 

“I hope to see you again, too,” Youngkyun told him honestly, reaching into the back seat for his duffel and Taeyang’s bag. He rolled Taeyang’s suitcase behind him with his duffle slung over his shoulder, Taeyang leaning against him and adding just a slight limp to his walk as they made their way towards the house.

 

↔

 

“Why didn’t you tell me we were coming to your uncle’s?” Taeyang asked, having put the pieces together himself. They stood in Youngkyun’s old room, filled with dust now, but free enough to let the two of them talk in it. 

 

“I knew you wouldn’t agree to come if I told you,” Youngkyun told him honestly.

 

“He abused you! Of course I wouldn’t have agreed!” Taeyang yelled.

 

“I know!” Youngkyun retorted, biting on his lip, but hissing in pain as he did. Fuck his stupid habit. “We couldn’t go to hotels or saunas, we couldn’t go to our friends, we couldn’t go back to the school, we couldn’t leave Seoul easily, and we couldn’t just stay out in the car all night long!” Youngkyun argued. “This was the best place.”

 

“He works for FNC too!” Taeyang pointed out.

 

“But he promised my dad he would take care of me, and though he’s done a pretty shitty job at it, he’s always kept me decently safe.”

 

“He had you delivering drugs,” Taeyang reminded him, gaping at his sense of logic which, he would admit, seemed a bit off. 

 

“He never let me in the den, though,” Youngkyun added. “He never let me close to the cops and he never let me use the drugs myself. He still won’t. He’s a terrible person, and an even worse parent, but he kept me safe. He wouldn’t turn us in because he knows I wouldn’t be safe if he did. No matter how much he bitches and moans about it, he won’t do it. That’s why this was the best place.”

 

“I don’t care what the fuck you think he’s done for you, but none of that makes up for anything,” Taeyang scolded him. “This isn’t the best place!”

 

“It is,” Youngkyun bit back, looking to the ground. “I can handle it.”

 

“Youngkyun, you can’t-”

 

“I said I can handle it!” Youngkyun yelled, digging his fingers into his palm as Taeyang fell silent. The room went dead silent, the only sound being the crickets outside. “It’s not your decision if I can handle it or not, it’s mine,” Youngkyun explained.

 

“Bullshit,” Taeyang called, stepping towards Youngkyun. 

 

Youngkyun hated himself for it, but as Taeyang stepped forward he flinched. His foot scuffed against the floor as it slid back, his hands shaking by his sides as he held his eyes to the floor. He closed his eyes as tightly as he could, screaming at himself not to cry. If he cried then Taeyang was right, and he didn’t want Taeyang to be right. This was the best place. He could handle it. He had to handle it for Taeyang, who was going through so much worse than him. He was fine. 

 

“Youngkyun… I would never-”

 

“I know,” Youngkyun choked out, biting on his lip with every ounce of pressure he could, feeling the blood drip into his mouth as he cursed at himself.

 

“I know you think this is all up to you, but look at you,” Taeyang said, licking his lips as he backed up a step.

 

“I don’t want to,” Youngkyun stated, pulling his arms around his chest. 

 

“You’re scared!” Taeyang yelled, tears filling his eyes. “You’re terrified and you know it!”

 

“Of course I’m terrified!” Youngkyun screamed back, looking up to Taeyang knowing his eyes were filled with every memory he had at this house. “Look at the fucking situation we’re in! I’m terrified because we’re outnumbered, and we don’t even know half of what’s going on! We had no choice but to come here because we have no idea what to expect! You think I was jumping to come back here? You think I’ve been waiting for my chance to visit? I spent five years here pretending to be someone I’m not while I was beaten half of the days and starved the other half!” Youngkyun screamed, his voice ripping at his throat as his vision blurred with tears. “We needed somewhere to go where we knew what to expect, and this was the only place I could think of!”

 

Taeyang moved forward as Youngkyun took a step back, sobbing as he tried to find something to hold onto. He couldn’t even place himself in the room as he cried, tears falling everywhere and his jaw hurting from the way he had his lips pulled back.

 

“If I could help you, in any way, would you want me to?” Taeyang blurted out, watching Youngkyun as he fell to the ground, fingers digging into the floor like it was the only thing in the world that could pull him back to reality.

 

“Wha- what?” Youngkyun stuttered, trying to look to Taeyang through his tears. 

 

Taeyang repeated his question, slowly crouching down beside Youngkyun. He didn’t reach out for him, or push him to make a move. He just sat and waited for the answer.

 

“This isn’t a fucking game,” Youngkyun mumbled under his breath as another tear fell. Taeyang didn’t answer though, still waiting for Youngkyun to play along. “Fine, no!” Youngkyun yelled out, glaring at Taeyang. “I said I can handle it! I’m fine, and I don’t need you to help me. You have enough going on, and you should focus on helping yourself! What about you, huh? If you could leave right now and get your old life back with the snap of a finger, would-”

 

“No.”

 

Youngkyun froze, another tear sliding down his cheek. Taeyang’s word had cut through his screams so hard that he felt like he was recoiling from the shock of it. That had not been the answer he was expecting.

 

“But why would you-”

 

“And leave you like this?” Taeyang asked, pushing himself gently towards Youngkyun again. “If I told you this was wrong, that being here was wrong and you didn’t have to go through this all just to hide with me, because I’m the one they want, not you, would you agree to leave?”

 

“No,” Youngkyun stated with a shake of his head. “I don’t want to be here but we’re not leaving until the morning. It’s not safe to go anywhere else, and you know it.”

 

Taeyang sighed, moving his hand forward to wipe at Youngkyun’s cheeks, and Youngkyun let him. 

 

“If I admitted you were right, and selfishly asked you to protect me for the night, even after everything that just happened, would you?” Youngkyun asked, looking to the ground to avoid seeing Taeyang’s expression.

 

“Of course I will,” Taeyang stated, brushing another tear away. “If I tried to give you a hug right now, would you let me?”

 

Youngkyun didn’t even wait for Taeyang to move, pushing himself into his arms and hanging his head over his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Taeyang tightly, burying himself into Taeyang’s embrace as he tried to forget where they were and how everything around them was falling apart. 

 

“I’m sorry for yelling,” Youngkyun choked out, pulling his hands up to Taeyang’s shoulders and pulling him closer. “I didn’t mean to yell at you, I’m just scared,” Youngkyun admitted. “But this is the best place to be. I know what to expect from Jaejoong. We would be at a disadvantage anywhere else.”

 

“I’d rather we stayed on the streets,” Taeyang stated with an audible pout. “But I’m sorry for yelling, too. I probably didn’t help with anything.”

 

“It’s okay,” Youngkyun told him, slowly pulling himself out of the hug and looking to Taeyang with a smile. “How about we stay for the night and sleep in a hotel outside of Seoul tomorrow?” Youngkyun suggested. “We’ll leave after FNC gets tired of looking, and we’ll take different roads to throw them all off. We can go to a hotel and sleep there. We won’t sleep here.”

 

“That’s a good idea,” Taeyang agreed with a nod. “Let’s leave as soon as you think we can.”

 

↔

 

“Why did you bring Taeyang here?” Jaejoong asked, hands folded on the table.

 

Youngkyun moved to bite his lip but stopped himself as his teeth grazed over the wound. “We really needed somewhere to stay,” Youngkyun admitted honestly. “We couldn’t trust anyone else.”

 

“And you trust me?” Jaejoong asked calmly.

 

“No,” Youngkyun answered honestly with a shake of his head. “I trust how you act because I know you.”

 

“That’s fair,” Jaejoong answered with a nod. “But I don’t think you really know me.”

 

“It’s impossible to really know anyone,” Youngkyun retorted, his eyes flickering to Taeyang by his side. “I guarantee you don’t know me, either.”

 

“More that you know,” Jaejoong stated.

 

“Less than you think,” Youngkyun stated back, looking up and meeting his eyes.

 

Jaejoong sighed, looking to Taeyang. “Do you know who I am?”

 

Taeyang’s eyes moved to Youngkyun, who looked at him with a tired look and nodded. “You’re Youngkyun’s uncle, Kim Jaejoong,” he answered honestly.

 

“What else?”

 

“You run the drug cartel under FNC,” Taeyang added, pulling his lips into a line.

 

“And how do you feel about that?”

 

“Honestly?”

 

“Honestly.”

 

“I hate it,” Taeyang answered without hesitation. “I hate it because it’s illegal, and I hate it because everyone knows. The people, the employees, and even the police seem to know about it but they turn away because they don’t want to deal with it,” Taeyang ranted, watching Jaejoong’s reactions as he spoke. Jaejoong held a straight face, though, like he was doing nothing more than taking in what Taeyang said. “I hate it because even the people who want nothing to do with it are roped into it. People’s lives are ruined because of it, but the business doesn’t care about the people, it cares about the profit. Kids as young as, what, seven, maybe eight, are forced to work delivering drugs because you need unpaid helping hands.” Youngkyun sucked in a small breath as Taeyang said that, clearly speaking on behalf of him. But every word Taeyang said was true, and Youngkyun was glad someone was finally able to say it. “I hate it because people are being affected by it, but you and everyone else don’t seem to care.”

 

Jaejoong nodded, not letting his eyes move from Taeyang’s. “And you think you’ve been affected by it?”

 

“I know I have,” Taeyang said with a nod. “Whatever happened to my dad, and everything that’s happening to me now. I guarantee it’s all connected to this drug cartel.”

 

“And you’re sure of that?”

 

“I’m positive,” Taeyang stated with confidence. “I know it’s all connected, I just have to figure out how.”

 

“You said it yourself,” Jaejoong pointed out. “The system is flawed. You really think you can fix it all through a system that doesn’t support you?”

 

“What do you expect me to do?” Taeyang asked with a small shrug. “I’m not the CEO’s son anymore. I’m not the heir.”

 

“Exactly. Don’t forget your place-”

 

“But I don’t need to be a CEO to clean up your messes,” Taeyang cut him off. “I don’t need a system to support me,” Taeyang denied with a blank face. “The system is the problem, so why would I want it supporting me? How many people would stab me in the back for five thousand won in a system like that?”

 

“A lot,” Jaejoong agreed. “If Youngkyun wasn’t dead set on staying by your side, I would sell you out too.”

 

“I have no doubt,” Taeyang said with a nod. 

 

“But I’m telling you now, I don’t support you. I’m not on your side, and I’m making it clear that after today I’m done supporting you two. Our ties are cut.”

 

“Agreed,” Youngkyun cut in. “After today, we’re done. We won’t come to you for help and we won’t get involved with each other.”

 

“Do you know what this means, Taeyang?”

 

“You’ll turn us in?” Taeyang asked with a raised eyebrow, leaning back in his chair with crossed arms.

 

“It means the promise I made to Youngkyun’s father is your responsibility now.”

 

“Jaejoong, you can’t-” Youngkyun started, but stopped as soon as Jaejoong glared in his direction.

 

He turned back to Taeyang. “I promised his dad to take care of him.”

 

“To be honest, I don’t think you’ve done much to keep that promise,” Taeyang admitted, not letting his eyes waver. 

 

“I changed his name,” Jaejoong stated. “I made fake records and lied to everyone saying I had a son. People don’t mess with him. Police didn’t look in his direction. I didn’t let him take the drugs, and I made sure he didn’t get into them. People who hurt him got hurt more. I protected him,” he defended, leaning forward in his chair, elbows on the table. “Are you going to protect him like that?”

 

“I’ll protect him better,” Taeyang replied without hesitation. “I’ll  _ actually _ protect him.”

 

“Jaejoong, I’m not some object you can-”

 

“Keep him safe,” Jaejoong told Taeyang, ignoring Youngkyun. “If I hear anything about him getting hurt, I’ll send my men for you.”

 

“That’s fair,” Taeyang agreed. “But when I find my father and figure out a way to clean up this mess, don’t expect me to go easy on you just because you ‘protected him’ all this time,” Taeyang threatened, leaning forward in his seat to mirror Jaejoong. “You hurt him, scarred him, beat him, starved him, and passed him off with a new identity he never wanted. I don’t care how well you think you protected him. I won’t go easy on you.”

 

“I look forward to it,” Jaejoong said with a nod, looking toward the kitchen. He got up, Taeyang and Youngkyun watching him like hawks as he opened one of the drawers, returning to the table with a small folder of files. 

 

“What are these supposed to be?” Youngkyun asked, looking at the folder.

 

“Your documents.”

 

Youngkyun snorted. “I have my birth certificate already.”

 

“I mean your fake ones,” Jaejoong said with a roll of his eyes. “Kim Hwiyoung’s birth certificate, library card, and elementary school ID card. All things that can prove your identity.”

 

“Why would we want these?” Taeyang asked, raising an eyebrow. “He isn’t Kim Hwiyoung, he’s Kim Youngkyun.”

 

“And FNC are looking for Kim Youngkyun,” Jaejoong reminded them. He moved his hand, passing the documents to Youngkyun. He took them slowly, feeling the paper and plastic as it fell into his hands. “I’m giving you these to help Youngkyun, not you,” Jaejoong told Taeyang. “If something happens, and you need to prove his identity, don’t drag him down with you. These documents are to get him out of your mess if the time comes.”

 

“I won’t get myself out and leave him,” Youngkyun stated, his eyes returning to Jaejoong. “I won’t need these.”

 

“Take them,” Jaejoong told him. “Just in case.”

 

“In case of what?” Youngkyun asked, baffled. 

 

“In case you get caught,” Jaejoong replied, turning to Taeyang. “If you do, these records get Youngkyun out of the mess. Under no circumstance do you drag him down with you, do you understand?” Jaejoong asked, watching Taeyang with sharp eyes.

 

Taeyang looked to Youngkyun before looking back to Jaejoong. “That’s your problem,” he stated with a blank face, watching Jaejoong’s face twist in confusion. “You think that’s my decision.”

 

Youngkyun scoffed under his breath, the corners of his mouth lifting up in a smile.

 

“Youngkyun is his own person. It’s not my decision whether he stays with me or not.” He looked over to the documents in Youngkyun’s hands before looking back to Jaejoong. “We will take the documents. If things go wrong, and Youngkyun needs to get out, we will use them as his express pass out of all this shit. But that’s not my decision. I can encourage it, but I can’t tell him to leave. You should be telling  _ him _ this, not me.”

 

Jaejoong looked from Taeyang to Youngkyun, his eyes flickering between the two without words before returning to Taeyang.

 

“Youngkyun is a person, and you should treat him like one.” Taeyang pushed his seat back, standing up and looking down to Jaejoong who still hadn’t stood up. He just sat, watching Taeyang. “Maybe, when we fix this mess together, we’ll go easy on you because you’re going this far to help us. Or maybe you’ll finally realize how it feels to be treated like a possession. We might just decide you don’t deserve mercy, and that will be up to us, not you. And when we make the decision on how the rest of your life plays out, you’ll realize how Youngkyun felt all those years. And I think you deserve that.”


	17. Home for the Time Being

It had taken almost two hours for the two boys to decide where they would go in the morning. Jaejoong didn’t sleep, so, in the corner of Youngkyun’s room using cheap lamps and the light of their computers, they researched their options. They wrote down the locations on sticky notes and passed them between each other, not speaking their plan out loud out of distrust for Youngkyun’s uncle. 

 

The final plan had been decided at four in the morning. They had left at five.

 

They left for Goyang immediately, crossing the border out of Seoul with what felt like weights on both of their shoulders. Youngkyun had driven for the first half of the ride, making sure Taeyang kept his mask and hat on. Youngkyun kept a hat on to hide his hair, and they did their best not to flash their faces to any traffic cameras.

 

They crossed Han River through the Gimpo bridge so they wouldn’t have to cross back into Seoul. Gimpo Bridge was also the farthest from the airport in Seoul, which meant a better chance of them not being seen. 

 

They kept on the Seouleogwaksunhwan Expressway through Gimpo, Incheon, and Bucheon until they reached the city of Daeya-dong in Siheung. They stopped to switch drivers, before getting on the Yeongdong Expressway going south through Ansan, Gunpo, Uiwang, and finally into the district of Suwon. 

 

It wasn’t too far south, but it was also several districts away from Seoul. Youngkyun figured it would be best to stay close so they could keep a close eye on things, and get back quickly if they needed to. Taeyang agreed, but didn’t like Youngkyun’s idea of staying in Bucheon, because it felt too close. They settled for Suwon, a decent sized district just a little over an hour south of Seoul. Suwon was also a good place for them to stay because there were three small cities in the district that weren't too big, but were nice enough to have hotels they could stay in. They finally settled on the city of Gwonseon-gu in Suwon. 

 

By the time they got there though, Youngkyun was absolutely exhausted. He could feel himself slipping in and out of conscience throughout the later half of the drive, but he tried to push it away to help Taeyang with directions. It was very clear after arriving, though, that both of them were on edge.

 

Standing in front of a hotel, one bag for each of them in hand, felt too surreal, like the idea of coming to Suwon was no more than an idea. Standing in front of the hotel, though, it became so much more real.

 

“I don’t know why just going in and getting a room feels so hard,” Taeyang admitted with a nervous laugh, as Youngkyun realized they had been standing outside the car for quite a while now.

 

Youngkyun understood, though, because it was so hard to process, but it was already in front of them. It wasn’t a hotel they had chosen because they were going on a fun trip. This hotel was going to be the closest thing either of them had to a home for the time being, and that’s what was scary.

 

“I’ll go check us in,” Youngkyun said as he cleared his throat. “Someone might recognize you.”

 

“If it’s okay with you…” Taeyang called out as he started walking. Youngkyun turned back, watching Taeyang look to his feet. “Can you get a room with one bed?” Youngkyun hated the way Taeyang felt shy about asking that, like he felt bad for even thinking of it. He hated that they were even in a situation where sleeping alone felt like everything was gone. “I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.”

 

“I’ll get a room with one bed,” Youngkyun agreed with an assuring nod, heading into the hotel.

 

Even as Youngkyun unlocked the door, stepping in with his duffel on his back, it felt wrong. The room smelt like all hotel rooms do, cheap and freshly vacuumed, although it probably wasn’t freshly vacuumed. It just looked so fake, like it was a one night stay and they would be going home tomorrow. It was hard for Youngkyun to accept that he wouldn’t be going back to Chanhee in two days. It was hard to think that he would have to hide out here, with absolutely nobody with him but Taeyang. It wasn’t even meant in a physical sense. Chanhee couldn’t know where he was. As it was, Chanhee would be having a hard time because of him. Seokwoo was on the other side now, no matter what. He was too involved with FNC to be trusted, so he couldn’t know. Jaeyoon would most likely find out Youngkyun was missing from Chanhee, and he would have no answers either. Sanghyuk might never know if he wasn’t on the news at some point.

 

Everyone he ever trusted or considered trusting was out of reach now. All he had was Taeyang, his duffel, and a hotel room.

 

Youngkyun felt it becoming hard to breath, but he forced himself to swallow the feeling for Taeyang’s sake. If it was hard for him, he couldn’t even imagine how hard it must be for Taeyang.

 

“Kyun.”

 

“Yeah?” he asked, falling down onto the bed with a small exhausted bounce. He kicked his shoes off to the floor and curled up on the mattress, letting Taeyang take a seat by his side. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I’m on the news,” he said, passing Youngkyun his phone. Youngkyun popped up, taking the phone from him and skimming across the headline.

 

[Son of Former FNC CEO, Yoo Taeyang, Gone Missing.]

 

The article said a lot of bullshit about Taeyang’s family and friends from the company worried about him. There were even quotes in the article from employees. Only one of them actually hurt, though.

 

“‘I’ve known Taeyang a long time, so I’d hate for him to hurt himself out there over something like this. Any help in finding him would be greatly appreciated,’ said FNC employee Kim Seokwoo.”

 

“That’s just great,” Taeyang said, falling down onto the bed in a defeated slump. “Thanks so much, Seokwoo.”

 

“He got us out,” Youngkyun reminded him. “It just proves that this whole article, and every other one like it, is all just to get more people looking for you. They want to find us, so why not get the public involved, right?”

 

“I hate him,” Taeyang mumbled, rolling onto his side, away from Youngkyun.

 

Youngkyun didn’t have anything to say to that. What was he supposed to say, really? Seokwoo was Taeyang’s best friend, and justifying any of Seokwoo’s actions would be pointless, not that some of them deserved to be justified. But Youngkyun couldn’t agree with Taeyang, either, because he knew Taeyang didn’t hate Seokwoo. He was mad at him, and he would probably hold that anger with him for the rest of his life. But he didn’t hate Seokwoo. He would never really hate Seokwoo.

 

↔

 

“What time is it?” Youngkyun mumbled, rolling over in the bed to push at Taeyang’s arm. “Tae, what time is it?”

 

“I don’t know,” Taeyang mumbled back, moving his hand back to swat at Youngkyun. “I fell asleep.”

 

“Me too,” Youngkyun replied, moving his hands to rub at his eyes. “I really needed that.”

 

Taeyang bolted up in bed, turning to Youngkyun with wide eyes. Youngkyun raised an eyebrow at him while he moved on to trying to flatten his hair.

 

“You didn’t have any bad dreams?”

 

Youngkyun shook his head. “I usually either have bad dreams or no dreams at all,” he told him. “I think the longest I ever went without a bad dream during that time was four weeks.”

 

“That’s good,” Taeyang said with a sigh, and a smile, barely noticeable with his sad eyes.

 

Youngkyun nodded in agreement. Frankly, he enjoyed getting actual sleep which was close to impossible with his nightmares.

 

“Should we go food shopping?” he asked, pushing himself to a sitting position. “We don’t have any food or water, and we shouldn’t be spending money eating out.”

 

Taeyang nodded. “That’s a good idea. Yeah, let’s go.”

 

“I need to fix my hair first!” Youngkyun announced, pushing himself out of bed before getting hit in the face with the fabric of Taeyang’s black hat. 

 

“You don’t need to. Just cover it up.”

 

Right. They were still on the run. They still couldn’t be seen. They weren’t even in Seoul anymore… right.

 

They left most of their stuff in the hotel room before going out. They didn’t leave their phones, or any important documents they had, though. Those, they kept on them in small shoulder bags. They didn’t want to take any chances of those being picked up by anyone else. They also put the “Do Not Disturb” notice on the door before leaving so nobody would come by to clean their room.

 

They took the car out to the nearest grocery store, hats snug on their heads and a mask tucked over Taeyang’s face.

 

“What should we get?” Youngkyun asked, pulling a cart out and pushing it in front of him. “We shouldn’t get things that expire easily, but also, I’m not living off of corn chips and sweet cakes.”

 

“Let’s get ramen and rice, definitely,” Taeyang suggested. “Those are easy to cook and-”

 

“Tae,” Youngkyun said, interrupting him. “We’re staying in a hotel. We can’t cook ramen or rice.”

 

“Oh,” Taeyang said, drawing his lips into a thin line. “What about samgak gimbap? Rice cakes don’t need to be cooked,” he suggested.

 

“Okay, good, and what about bread and maybe ham or turkey for sandwiches? Sandwiches could get us a long way,” Youngkyun said, looking around the isles and grabbing the rice cakes Taeyang suggested. 

 

“This is hard,” Taeyang admitted, his eyes washing over everything on the shelves they couldn’t get. 

 

“We could always get ramen at convenience stores, too,” Youngkyun suggested. “I guess it’s not really that expensive, and we also wouldn’t have to make them ourselves.”

 

Taeyang nodded, grabbing a bag of corn chips with a small smile. “What about those small cereal cups for breakfast?”

 

“Yeah, let’s get a shit ton of those.”

 

“And waters.”

 

Youngkyun nodded. “Water, cereal, sandwich, rice cake. Wow, what a diet.”

 

Taeyang shook his head, guiding the end of the cart to follow him down the next isle. “We should get basics, too. More toothbrushes and deodorant. Stuff like that.”

 

“That’s a good point,” Youngkyun admitted, grabbing a big case of waters and loading it into the bottom rack of the cart. “Speaking of which, we’ll probably need to go clothes shopping soon. We were both prepared with enough clothes to last us half way through the week, and we would wash them again. Laundromats cost money, and that will build up over time. I think we should just get cheap clothes instead of spending seven thousand won a week to wash our clothes. Plus, that’s also incredibly inconvenient.”

 

Taeyang nodded, pushing the cart towards the cereals. “Yeah, we’ll go tomorrow, probably,” he agreed.

 

Youngkyun was going to comment on it further, but the way Taeyang seemed to just pull himself through the store convinced him not to. Personally, Youngkyun was trying to think realistically while pretending the whole situation wasn’t as bad as it was. It was affecting Taeyang a lot, though, and so Youngkyun decided to just get through the shopping trip with him so they could go back to the hotel room. Youngkyun hoped it was the pressure of being out in public that was worrying him the most so they could go back to the hotel and be done with it.

 

They were in the care section, the one with the toothbrushes, when Taeyang spoke up again. “Hey, I had a thought.”

 

“Please expand,” Youngkyun encouraged, although he didn’t like the way Taeyang seemed to be weighing his words.

 

The boy stopped in front of the hair products, reaching forward for a box of black hair dye. “They’re looking for us,” Taeyang stated, tracing his finger over the image of the black hair. “But it’s hard to recognize people if you haven’t seen them for a while, or if you’ve only seen them in pictures, right?”

 

“Sure,” Youngkyun agreed, watching as Taeyang looked at the box in his hands. “But do you want to dye your hair? It might help with your disguise,” Youngkyun admitted.

 

“Actually…” Taeyang started, reaching with his other hand for a box of blonde hair dye, carefully picking it up and examining it. He held one in each hand, staring between the two with a heavy expression while Youngkyun just raised an eyebrow. He was already blonde, so… “I was thinking we both should. And maybe we should cut it.”

 

“My- my hair?” Youngkyun asked, unconsciously reaching up to his hair to twist at the strands.

 

Youngkyun had never dyed his hair, and it had only ever been cut short once. His mom liked it long. He had kept it long because of her but now… now Taeyang was suggesting dyeing it  _ and _ cutting it.

 

“It’s just hair,” Taeyang said like he didn’t even believe what he was saying, lightly biting on his lip. He looked torn, staring between the boxes and refusing to look up at Youngkyun. 

 

Youngkyun wanted to argue, to tell Taeyang to go fuck himself, he wasn’t changing his hair, but he couldn’t argue with Taeyang’s point. His hair would grow back to normal, just like it had when it had been cut before. When Youngkyun went in for his military service, he would have to cut it, and it would grow back after that. Any dye would fade out, and it would be like it was never there. So why did Youngkyun feel like his heart was being compressed inside his chest as he looked between Taeyang and the hair dye?

 

Youngkyun shook his head, looking to Taeyang. “I can’t,” he responded with a cracked voice.

 

“Kyun, your hair stands out,” he told him, finally looking up to him with sad, glossed over eyes. “It doesn’t matter how many districts from Seoul we are, they’ve asked people everywhere to look for us. FNC isn’t a Seoul centered company. They have business in Daejeon and Busan, too.”

 

“I don’t want to dye and cut my hair,” Youngkyun denied, reaching up to his hair again. 

 

“Would you rather end up like Insik?”

 

That question caused Youngkyun to freeze in his spot, like he had been slapped across the face as he remembered the way Insik dropped to the ground, and how he was just left there to rot. The image of Insik falling was brought back to his mind, falling over and over and over again. He was there, and then he wasn’t, and it was all because he got involved. What were Taeyang and Youngkyun doing if not getting involved?

 

He didn’t want to end up like Insik at the end of a gun, falling to the ground without life. It had happened too many times in his dreams already, and he didn’t want that to happen to him. He didn’t want to end up on a cold ground, wasting away with a hole in his head.

 

“Shit, Kyun I’m-”

 

“You’re right, though,” Youngkyun said, cutting him off as he moved his hand to wipe away the small tear that had fallen to his cheek. He averted his eyes to the ground and took a deep breath, trying to kick the image from his mind.

 

“Kyun, I didn’t mean to-”

 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Youngkyun told him with rushed words. “You’re right.” Youngkyun winced as he admitted it. He didn’t want to hear what he was saying, and he didn’t want to accept it. “They know what we look like. Seokwoo said Cheolmin saw us as a threat. Would he just let us go because we moved a few districts over?” Youngkyun looked up to Taeyang, biting lightly on his scabbing lip as he fought back every thought in his mind about the gun shot, about Insik falling, about Jaejoong and the stupid hotel. “Get the dye. Cut my hair and dye it.”

 

“Are you sure?” Taeyang asked, moving his hand to Youngkyun’s shoulder. He moved his shoulder away with a nod, backing into the cart and stepping away from it with a small jump. 

 

“Just do it quickly,” he said, grabbing the handle of the cart with white knuckles and pushing it towards the checkout.

 

↔

 

Maybe it was just because of the way Youngkyun held himself away from Taeyang, or maybe it was because of the way he fazed in and out of his thoughts, barely noticing his presence in his own body, but it was fucking cold. The walk to the car was bitter, and the walk back to the hotel after a silent ride was even more so. The wind nipped at Youngkyun’s skin and he had to wrap his arms around each other to keep them warm.

 

They moved up to their room in silence, storing the small amount of groceries they got in a small cupboard near a small mini fridge where they put the waters. After, when they had nothing left to focus on, Youngkyun finally looked at Taeyang.

 

“Youngkyun, we don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Taeyang spoke up, breaking the thick silence. It didn’t feel broken. It felt like Taeyang had just taken a sledge hammer and beaten at the ice, cracking it only slightly.

 

Youngkyun shook his head, noticing the way his hair shook with the motion. “You’re right. It’s noticeable.”

 

“I can tell you’re not okay with it.”

 

“It doesn’t matter if I’m okay with it or not,” Youngkyun told him, biting down on his lip.

 

Taeyang let out a breath, moving to one of the plastic bags and pulling out a small box. He moved over to Youngkyun, ripping the box open and tossing the packaging to the ground. He pulled out a small container, unscrewing the cap and holding it all in his left hand. He moved in front of Youngkyun, dipping his finger in the cream and moving up to Youngkyun’s face. With a different finger, he lightly brushed Youngkyun’s hair away from his face. 

 

Slowly, he moved his hand closer to Youngkyun’s mouth, dabbing the cream onto his lip. It was cold, and it stung when Taeyang grazed over the scabs, but Youngkyun tried not to show it. 

 

“Stop biting your lip,” Taeyang told him, not meeting his eyes. His eyes were focused on his lip as he dabbed the antiseptic cream on. 

 

“I can’t just stop,” Youngkyun mumbled, moving his mouth as little as possible.

 

“Dig your fingers into your palm instead,” Taeyang suggested. “You bite your lip when you’re nervous.”

 

“I’m always nervous.”

 

“I know,” Taeyang said with a nod, screwing the cap back on the container and placing it gently on the table to the side. “So take a deep breath, okay? We don’t have to-”

 

“It doesn’t matter if I want to or not,” Youngkyun repeated, cutting him off again. “My hair is an eye sore. It’s obvious, and very noticeable. I need to cut it, and dyeing it would help,” Youngkyun stated with a nod, averting his eyes to look for a chair. 

 

“Kyun-”

 

“Just do it quickly,” he said, grabbing a chair from the corner of the room and dragging it towards the bathroom. He pulled it inside, pushing the rugs aside with his feet. Taeyang followed him in with the scissors and the hair dye.

 

He sat in the chair slowly, painstakingly aware of his breathing, with his back faced to Taeyang. 

 

“Cut it,” Youngkyun told him, hoping to just get it all over with before he had a chance to regret it.

 

“How do you want it cut?” Taeyang asked quietly, placing a few brushes on the small counter. Youngkyun pulled his eyes away from the counter, forcing himself to look at the blank wall in front of him. 

 

“So it doesn’t look like me,” Youngkyun told him. “But please… not too short.”

 

“Like mine?”

 

Youngkyun looked back, gulping as he saw the brush in his hand and the scissors on the counter. He looked up to Taeyang’s hair, fluffy, but still hanging above his eyes. It was so short. 

 

“Like yours,” Youngkyun agreed, whipping around in the chair and holding his hands between his thighs. He sat looking forward, head up as Taeyang whispered a small “okay.” 

 

He felt Taeyang’s fingers brush over his hair, followed by the comb and brush smoothing it all out. He gently pulled out any knots, pulling his hair back and running his fingers through it.

 

Youngkyun held his lips together tightly in lieu of biting them, holding his eyes closed together as tightly as he could.

 

Then he heard the sound of the scissors snipping away at his hair, slowly feeling the back of his head become lighter as strands of his hair fell across his neck, drifting onto the floor. He pulled his hands out, digging his fingernails into his skin as hard as he could as the sound continued. It sliced through, strand by strand, cutting it all away.

 

He felt his head become lighter, strands of his hair falling onto his hands and tears falling down his cheeks even though he tried to stop them. It kept going, and going, and going, and going, and Youngkyun couldn’t breath. He couldn’t find his own heart beat and he couldn’t feel his hands anymore.


	18. Kim Hwiyoung

“Uncle Jaejoong, why am I staying here?” Youngkyun asked, licking his lips as he looked at the beaten down house around him. He didn’t want to be here. This place was ugly, and it smelled really bad. He wanted to go back home, even if daddy was high or drunk. His home was better than this one.

 

“Because your shit of a father left you to me for some god damn reason,” Jaejoong mumbled, pulling a kitchen chair across the floor with a horrible sound, until it sat in the middle of the room. He moved over to the kitchen drawers, pulling out a dull looking pair of scissors and tossing them on the counter with what looked like an astonishing half of a comb. Many of the prongs looked snapped off.

 

“Why did he leave me to you?” Youngkyun asked, moving over to Jaejoong just to be harshly pushed to the side. Youngkyun pouted, moving to rub at the spot where his arm had hit the counters which were too big for him to really see over. “Do I have to stay here now?”

 

“Yes, you have to stay here now,” Jaejoong answered with a sigh, adjusting the chair roughly and reaching over to grab Youngkyun’s wrist. He pulled Youngkyun over and lifted him into the chair, kneeling down in front of him. “Listen, kid, I am not your daddy. I have work to do, and shit to get done, so you won’t bitch and moan about every little thing while you’re here, okay?”

 

“Daddy had work to do, too,” Youngkyun told him, kicking his legs back and forth over the edge of the chair. “He said I couldn’t bother him.”

 

“Your daddy was jobless, and could barely take care of himself,” Jaejoong told him, rolling his eyes.

 

“Daddy took care of us,” Youngkyun defended.

 

“He’s dead, boy. You don’t need to defend him.”

 

Youngkyun watched Jaejoong, his eyes glossing over as he saw the empty look in his uncle’s face.

 

“You were his favorite brother,” Youngkyun mumbled, looking down to his lap as he continued to kick his legs.

 

“I was his only brother,” Jaejoong commented with another roll of his eyes.

 

“But he cared about you a lot,” Youngkyun told him. “He liked when you came over and-”

 

“Shit, kid!” Jaejoong yelled, standing to his feet. Youngkyun flinched and looked up to his uncle, only to see him glaring down at him. “I know that! I know the bastard cared about me for whatever reason! Why do you think you’re here?!”

 

“Because daddy wanted-”

 

“Yeah,” Jaejoong said, cutting him off. “Because daddy wanted. Daddy wanted you to stay here, like maybe you could  _ cure _ me or some bullshit.”

 

“Are you sick?”

 

“Don’t ask me dumb questions,” Jaejoong told him sharply. “First rule of the house, don’t ask dumb questions.”

 

“Okay,” Youngkyun agreed with a pout, looking back down to his lap. He didn’t like his uncle’s house so far. He wanted to go back home. Why couldn’t he just go back home?

 

“Repeat it.”

 

“Don’t ask dumb questions,” Youngkyun mumbled. 

 

“Second rule of the house, don’t scream, cry, whine, bother me, or beg me to play with you, because I won’t.”

 

Youngkyun sucked his lips into a thin line, looking down at his feet. He nodded, crossing one foot over the other and kicking them that way.

 

“Repeat it, boy.”

 

“Don’t be annoying.”

 

“Word for word,” Jaejoong told him. “You need to learn to have a good memory, because I hate repeating myself.”

 

“I don’t remember it word for word,” Youngkyun admitted, pulling his feet under the chair. Jaejoong didn’t speak again. He just watched him, waiting for him to try. Youngkyun gulped. “Don’t scream, yell, annoy you, or-”

 

Jaejoong moved over to the kitchen counter in one movement, hooking the scissors on his fingers and grabbing a handful of Youngkyun’s hair. Youngkyun yelled as Jaejoong moved the scissors to it, cutting it off in one swift motion and throwing it to the floor.

 

Youngkyun felt his head throbbing as he stared at the hair on the ground through blurred vision. He looked up to Jaejoong with an open mouth as his uncle walked forward. 

 

“Don’t scream, cry, whine, bother me, or beg me to play with you.”

 

“My- my hair-”

 

“Repeat it!” 

 

Youngkyun flinched, jumping back in his chair as his fingers curled around the edges of it. “Don’t scream, cry, whine, bother you, or beg you to play with me,” he repeated with a shaky voice.

 

“Good. Repeat both of the rules.”

 

“I- I don’t remember the first one-”

 

Jaejoong reached for his head again, grabbing his hair between his fist as Youngkyun cried out, cutting it off with a horrid sound. Youngkyun screamed as he jumped out of the chair, reaching up to his head as Jaejoong pulled the scissors away. There were patches where his hair was cut short, clipped away while the rest hung down by his shoulders. Youngkyun pushed himself away from his uncle, backing across the floor until he had trapped himself in a corner as he looked to Jaejoong with wide eyes.

 

“Repeat. Them.”

 

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Youngkyun choked out. “Don’t scream… cry, whine, bother you, or beg you to play with me.”

 

“Third rule. Don’t ever call me uncle.”

 

“Don’t ever call you uncle,” Youngkyun repeated instantly, not even waiting for him to ask.

 

“Fourth rule. Don’t give out this address, and don’t bring people here.”

 

“Don’t give anyone the address or bring people here,” Youngkyun repeated, biting down on his lip. 

 

“Repeat them all.”

 

“Un- Jaejoong, I-”

 

“Youngkyun!” 

 

Youngkyun flinched, moving to back away when he realized he couldn’t. “Don’t ask dumb questions,” he started. “Don’t scream, cry, whine, bother you, or beg you to play with me. Don’t call you uncle. Don’t invite people over-”

 

Jaejoong moved toward him with the scissors, and Youngkyun hugged his body to the floor, tears falling down his cheeks as he kicked his legs out. He screamed as Jaejoong grabbed onto his hair, cutting more of it away and throwing it to the floor. 

 

“I repeated them all!” Youngkyun screamed at him, eyes filling with angry tears as his cheeks turned red. His hands scraped against the floor as the shorter strands of his hair fell in front of his eyes. “I did what you asked!”

 

“You missed one. Don’t give out the address.”

 

“I don’t even know the address!” Youngkyun screamed at him, pushing himself back into the corner as the tears fell down his face.

 

“Rule five.”

 

“Jaejoong, I can’t remember-”

 

“Never eat anything in this house that you don’t find in the kitchen.”

 

“Never eat anything in the house that I don’t find in the kitchen,” Youngkyun repeated through his tears, reaching up to cover his head in fear that he would get it wrong.

 

“Rule six.”

 

“Jaejoong!”

 

“You will respond to the name Kim Hwiyoung. Repeat it.”

 

“My name isn’t Hwiyoung!” Youngkyun yelled at him, digging his fingers through his burning scalp. “I’m Youngkyun!”

 

“Not while you’re here. While you’re here, you will respond to Kim Hwiyoung and you will tell anyone who asks that I’m you father.”

 

“But you’re not!” he yelled. Jaejoong stepped forward as Youngkyun pushed himself back, banging his arms into the wall behind him with a hiss of pain.

 

“Repeat them all,” Jaejoong told him, walking up until he was right in front of him. He crouched down so he was almost eye level with Youngkyun.

 

“Don’t ask dumb questions,” Youngkyun repeated with a shaky voice and tears in his eyes. “Don’t yell-”

 

Jaejoong reached for his head, cutting another portion of Youngkyun’s hair off while he screamed, trying to swat Jaejoong’s hand away but failing.

 

“Don’t scream,” he corrected through his tears. “Don’t scream, cry, whine, bother you, or beg you to play with me. Don’t call you uncle. Don’t give anyone the address and don’t invite people over! Don’t-” Youngkyun froze as he tried to remember the next rule. He couldn’t remember it, and his eyes widened in fear as Jaejoong reached for his hair, pulling at it while Youngkyun cried, cutting another bit of his hair away. 

 

“Don’t eat anything in this house you don’t find in the kitchen,” Jaejoong reminded him. “From the beginning. And don’t scream again, it’s becoming annoying.”

 

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Youngkyun started again, biting down on his lip as the tears fell. “Don’t scream, cry, whine, bother you, or ask you to play with me. Don’t call you uncle. Don’t give anyone the address and don’t invite them over. Don’t eat anything I don’t find in the kitchen, and don’t respond to my name.”

 

“What name do you answer to?”

 

“I don’t remember!” Youngkyun screamed as Jaejoong reached for his hair, cutting it away bit by bit. “I said I don’t remember!” Youngkyun yelled, feeling his throat rip as if saying it louder would get his point across.

 

“Kim Hwiyoung. Say it.”

 

“Kim Hwiyoung,” Youngkyun repeated with another sob.

 

“Good. Now listen here, Hwiyoung. You will never yell at me like that again. Do you understand?”

 

Youngkyun nodded as fast as he could, not really caring what Jaejoong was asking at this point. Youngkyun just wanted to get out.

 

“Start over again; from the first rule.”


	19. Completely Lost

“I’m done,” Taeyang announced, making sure Youngkyun could hear the sound of him dropping the scissors in the sink. They fell loudly, metal clashing against whatever the sink was made of, and it echoed throughout the room. 

 

Youngkyun couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes, though. He could already feel the air on the back of his neck, and he could tell his hair wasn’t there anymore. He could feel it hanging around his eyes, poking at his eyelids, and he knew how short it was. 

 

Youngkyun slowly forced his hands to relax, feeling the way his skin felt relieved after the pressure of his nails was gone. He made himself take a deep breath, calming the heartbeat which had close to taken over his senses at this point. 

 

Slowly, Youngkyun pried his eyes open, the light flooding into his retinas and momentarily blinding him, but he didn’t close his eyes. He let the light flood in around him as he pushed himself out of the chair, keeping his eyes on the floor as he walked to the counter.

 

Slowly, Youngkyun pulled his head up. He let his eyes fall over the mirror, and he couldn’t help it when a held back sob pushed its way through his throat as he looked at his reflection. The brown hair―his brown hair, hung just to his eyes, cut off completely in the back. Youngkyun moved his hand to his mouth without meaning to, holding back any cries he wanted to let out as he stared back at his reflection. 

 

His mom said she liked his hair long, and yet here he was, staring at his own reflection with hair barely long enough to pass the bottoms of his ears. How would she feel, seeing him now? How would she feel seeing him in general? How much of a disappointment had he become over the time he spent with Jaejoong and his aunt? He shouldn’t have let them change him. He shouldn’t have let anything happen, and because it was all happening, everything was changing. He shouldn’t have let it all happen like this. He should have-

 

“I need some air,” Youngkyun choked out, pushing past Taeyang. He grabbed his sweater, swinging it over his shoulders lazily and grabbing his phone loosely before pushing open the door and making his way outside. 

 

He felt so open with his hair so short. The last time it had been this short, he was completely lost. What was the difference now? Was he not completely lost?

 

He made his way down the stairs quickly, not bothering to look up at the people he passed until he made his way to the lobby, pushing open the main doors with a dreadful wave of silence.

 

The doors closed behind him, making a soft thud before sending the air back to silence. Youngkyun looked around himself as small flakes of snow fell in the dark night. They coated the ground around him in a thin blanket, barely a sliver thick. The air was still, carrying the silence in circles around him.

 

He felt so open, standing in a silence that felt so open itself. He felt small, trapped, and alone.

 

He looked behind himself, back to the doors before pushing himself around the edge of the building. He moved himself to the side of the building, looking around him in a paranoid fashion for other people as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He took a deep breath, typing in his password before scrolling through his contacts.

 

He hesitated, looking at the name in front of him.

 

He shouldn’t. It was selfish to risk calling anyone, but he felt so alone and he didn’t know what to do. He could barely keep himself together, nevermind Taeyang.

 

Without a second thought, Youngkyun pressed on the name. He held the device up to his ear quickly, listening to it as it rang. It continued to buzz, filling the silence with only small vibrations.

 

“Please pick up, please pick up,” Youngkyun pleaded under his breath, listening to it ring.

 

“We’re sorry. The caller you are trying to reach is unavailable.”

 

“Dammit,” Youngkyun muttered, pulling his head back to face the sky, letting the small flakes speckle across his cheeks as he tried to hold himself together.

 

“Please leave your message after the tone.”

 

“Hey, Chanhee,” Youngkyun breathed out, moving his hands to cradle the phone by his ear. Just thinking he could be talking to Chanhee right now brought a faint smile to his lips. “I miss you, buddy.”

 

What was he even supposed to say? Youngkyun hadn’t exactly created a plan in his head before calling him. He didn’t even know why he called him. But he knew one thing: he really missed his best friend.

 

“I miss you so much,” he continued. “Hey, uhm, I know you said I could call if I wanted to talk, but-” Youngkyun snorted, interrupting himself as he looked back to the hotel. “But I think it’s a little late for just getting things off my chest,” he admitted, pulling his lips into a line. 

 

Youngkyun took a deep breath, closing his eyes tightly to stop himself from crying again. “I messed up, Chanhee,” he choked out, not even sure where it had come from. “I got myself into a huge mess, and I don’t know how to fix it.” Youngkyun’s lips pulled back as he talked, starting a whole new trail of tears down his face. “I don’t know what to do. I feel useless,” he confessed, moving his hand up to wipe his cheeks, hating the way his skin burned in the cold as he did it. “I got myself into some deep shit, and I don’t know if I can pull myself out this time. I mean, things have been bad before―worse than you know―but I really don’t know what to do this time.”

 

Youngkyun looked around him, watching the snow fall. It looked so peaceful, but so heavy while Youngkyun finally felt like the truth was ripping itself out of him. “It’s so hard,” he sobbed, moving his hand to cover his face and muffle his sobs, but it was too late. Everything was out in the open, and no amount of silencing himself was going to help anything. “I never really appreciated living in the dorms with you like I should have. I always thought my home would end up being somewhere else, so I never wanted to get attached, but I should have appreciated it more,” he admitted, remembering the nights he had spent up with Chanhee. He pictured the days they would go out and eat breakfast together, or the walks they went on during the warmer months. He found himself smiling at the memories, wishing he could have that right now. “Chanhee, I miss you, and I don’t think I’ll be coming back to school anytime soon.”

 

Youngkyun let out a breath of air as he moved to wipe away his tears again, looking up in the cold to dry out his eyes. “You saw the news, right? You saw about how they’re looking for Taeyang? If someone comes by asking for help, don’t help them. Don’t tell them I called, and don’t tell them anything,” Youngkyun warned. “You’ll probably be seeing us in the news a lot more, but please don’t believe it,” he begged. “I don’t care what you hear, don’t believe it.”

 

Youngkyun took another breath, blinking with a nod as he realized he was running short on time. “I’m sorry I have to say this,” he began with a sharp inhale. “But you can’t call me back on this number. You can’t try to contact me. I won’t answer,” Youngkyun told him, having to close his eyes just to get it out. “Things are only getting worse, and I think it’s better to just disappear for a while,” he said, nodding to himself to convince his own mind that it was for the best. 

 

“I’ve known you since we were thirteen,” Youngkyun reminded him. “Not once did I ever have to say goodbye like I have to now.” Youngkyun moved his hand to wipe at his tears again, sucking in another breath. “But I have to say goodbye now.” He looked up to the sky, blinking away the water as he tried to compose himself. “I have to say goodbye. But I promise I’m coming back, okay? I’m not leaving you forever. It’s just going to take some time.” Youngkyun couldn’t help it anymore, barely able to see the snow falling in front of him as his eyes filled with tears. “I’m coming back, I promise. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never told you anything, and I’m sorry I have to leave you like this. I’m so sorry.”

 

It was taking everything in Youngkyun’s will not to jump in the car and drive back to Seoul. He wanted to see Chanhee again, but he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t go to him now, and he really hated it.

 

“I’m coming back,” he repeated, his throat tightening as he said it. “Wait for me.”

 

“Thank you for leaving your message.”

 

Youngkyun lurched forward in a sob, letting the phone slide through his fingers until he heard it clashing against the ground. He cried as he looked down at it, lifting up his foot and bringing it down on the device. He yelled out as he smashed the screen, beating it until it was smashed to pieces. He yelled and cried as he broke it, chipping every piece of it away until there was nothing left of it but bits and shards, littered in the snow.

 

And when it was broken beyond repair, there was nothing he could do but cry, and so that’s what he did. Youngkyun just knelt down, arms around his knees, and he cried.

 

↔

 

When Youngkyun finally returned to the room, he could hear the shower running behind the closed bathroom door. He figured Taeyang would be washing the dye out, and so he just shrugged off his coat and hung it on the hook by the door. 

 

The water turned off quickly, and within minutes Taeyang was stepping out, wet strands  of black hair clinging to his forehead with sweatpants hanging off his hips and a t-shirt clinging to his chest.

 

“It looks good,” Youngkyun commented, trying his best not to sound broken.

 

“So does yours,” Taeyang told him, raising the towel to his head to rub at his hair.

 

“We still have to dye it,” Youngkyun reminded him.

 

Taeyang nodded, sitting beside him on the bed. “If you had to choose between my blonde hair, or my black hair, which would you say looks better?” Taeyang asked in a small voice.

 

“Black,” Youngkyun decided quickly. “Even though it’s not dry, it makes you look cool. The two hair styles set completely different moods,” Youngkyun told him, trying to sound enthusiastic but knowing it wasn’t working. He knew Taeyang’s question wasn’t meant to be part of a game, but he couldn’t help but think of it when he said it. “If I asked you honestly if you were okay, would you tell me?”

 

Taeyang exhaled, pulling his lips into a line before shaking his head. “No, I’d tell you I’m fine.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you’re going through a lot, too,” Taeyang told him with a light shrug, barely meeting his eyes. “You don’t need more to carry around with you.” Taeyang shifted on the bed, turning to face Youngkyun. “If I asked  _ you _ if you were okay, would you tell me honestly?”

 

“There’s no fun in lying if you know I’m lying,” Youngkyun told him.

 

“That’s not a yes or no answer.”

 

“No, I wouldn’t. I’d say I’m fine like I’ve kept doing for the past two days. And I’d continue telling you I’m fine, because I’m not sharing my burdens if you won’t share yours,” Youngkyun reasoned. “But do you remember the first night at my aunt’s house?” he asked, turning to face Taeyang as well. Taeyang nodded. “You told me you were a virgin, and how you basically pretended to be someone you’re not. I told you about my dreams and Jaejoong,” Youngkyun reminded him. Taeyang followed along with what he said, watching him speak. “I don’t want this situation to get any worse because we refuse to accept what’s going on. So, if I promised to share my feelings, would you share yours? We could do what we did then, too. Just share what’s on our minds.”

 

“You first,” Taeyang told him, taking a light seat on the bed while he rubbed the towel into his hair.

 

Youngkyun nodded. “Okay. I just called Chanhee,” he blurted out. Taeyang nodded, following along with his words. “And I miss him. I miss basically not being on the run from a situation I can’t understand. I want everything to go back to normal. Hell, I would kill just to eat another bag of corn chips with Chanhee, playing this or that and talking about things that didn’t even matter,” he confessed. Without another word, Youngkyun looked to Taeyang. “You’re turn.”

 

“Oh no, you aren’t done.”

 

“What?”

 

“The hair. Come on. Spill the feelings. You promised. I consider our game a binding contract.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a small smile. “Fine, fine,” he relented. “Jaejoong was the only other person to ever cut my hair short,” he threw out, looking up to see Taeyang’s face filled with disbelief and horror. Youngkyun took a breath, thinking over the words in his head. “Don’t ask stupid questions.”

 

“What?”

 

“That’s rule one. Don’t ask stupid questions. Rule two, don’t scream, cry, whine, bother him, or beg him to play with me. Rule three, don’t call him my uncle. Rule four, don’t give anyone the address or invite anyone over. Rule five, don’t eat anything that I didn’t find in the kitchen. Rule six, respond to the name Kim Hwiyoung.” Youngkyun looked up to Taeyang with a sad look in his eyes. “Every time I got a rule wrong, he cut my hair. Every time I yelled while he tried to drill them into my head, he cut my hair.”

 

“Jesus, Kyun.”

 

“It was fucked up,” Youngkyun agreed. “It had only been a week since my dad’s death. We hadn’t even had the funeral yet, but I was dragged to live with him and live by his rules. It was rough.”

 

“I’m going to punch that man the next time I see him,” Taeyang threatened. “I swear to god. I’m going to beat the shit out of him.”

 

“And he went for my hair because he knew,” Youngkyun continued. “He knew I was in the car when my mom said that, and he knew she didn’t get a chance to say anything else before the truck came around the corner and hit us.”

 

“You were in the car?” Taeyang asked, eyes going wide as his mouth fell open.

 

Youngkyun nodded. “I was in the car. I’ve never willingly cut my hair shorter than my chin since then.”

 

“She’d be proud of you.”

 

Youngkyun looked up to Taeyang with furrowed brows. “What?”

 

“She would be so proud of you―your mom,” Taeyang told him. “I mean, after everything you’ve had to go through, and the fact that you still manage to stay strong-”

 

“I don’t, though,” Youngkyun told him. “I break down, like, every single day and-”

 

“You stopped your insomnia,” Taeyang said, cutting him off. “That was you. You offered to help me when you didn’t need to because you’re a good person. You drove when we were helping Insik’s daughter, even after what happened. You threw FNC off our trail in a remarkable ten minutes, and you got us this far after everything that happened at your aunt’s. You may not think you’re strong, but you are,” Taeyang told him. “Breaking down doesn’t mean you’re not strong.”

 

Youngkyun pouted, looking to his lap as Taeyang’s words swirled around his head. His mom… would be proud of him?

 

“But I cut my hair and-”

 

“Kyun, your mom wouldn’t care about your hair,” Taeyang told him. “She would care about you, more than anything. If cutting your hair could keep you safe, I’m sure she’d be ready to shave you.”

 

Youngkyun cracked a small smile at the idea, though it was hard to remember his mother. It was a nice idea.

 

“You’re turn,” Youngkyun told him, nodding his head toward him.

 

“My turn?”

 

“Oh yeah. Definitely your turn,” Youngkyun told him.

 

“Okay,” Taeyang said, shaking out his nerves. “I miss Seokwoo.” Youngkyun nodded, waiting patiently for him to continue. This wasn’t new information to him. “I’m mad at him, of course, but he’s my best friend. Was? I don’t know. I just know I want my old best friend back,” Taeyang confessed. “It’s not fair that we had to end up on opposite sides like this. It shouldn’t have to be like this.”

 

“You’re right,” Youngkyun agreed. “Best friends aren’t supposed to fight.”

 

“And I miss my dad,” Taeyang stated with a hiccup, his eyes going dark. “I miss having him by my side all the time. I can’t stand to think where he might be right now, and I hate the thought that he could be hurt. And I miss my life. I miss Seokwoo picking me up for ice cream on hot days, and I miss playing Clue with my dad and losing every single time just so I could claim he cheated,” Taeyang ranted, a single tear dropping down his cheek. “I miss having people on my side. I’ve never been this alone before. I’ve never been this far off the grid, and I don’t know what to do. Seokwoo left me, and I have nowhere to go now.” Another tear dropped, but Taeyang acted like it wasn’t even there. “It’s like Cheolmin and every other fucker at FNC just ripped my life apart in minutes. They destroyed everything, and I have nothing to fall back on now. There’s nothing for me to go back to and I know how hopeless it is-”

 

“It’s not hopeless,” Youngkyun cut in.

 

“You said you don’t know how to fix it,” Taeyang told him, his eyes filling with tears, covered in a light red tint.

 

“When did I-”

 

Youngkyun froze, his body freezing as he realized. “You heard me.”

 

“I followed you out when you went to call Chanhee,” Taeyang admitted. “I was worried. But you don’t have to lie. I know how hopeless the situation is. I know there’s little to nothing I can do, and it pisses me off! I just want my old life back, and it’s not your fault, but you don’t have to lie. I want everything back to the way it used to be, and I know it can never go back to being that way. Nothing will ever be the same. If we don’t solve this within a few weeks, how long until even you’re gone and-”

 

Youngkyun reached forward, not even waiting for Taeyang to finish before pulling the boy into his arms. He wrapped his arms around his back and pulled his head into his shoulder.

 

“I’m not going to leave you,” Youngkyun told him, trying to make it sound like his eyes weren’t filled with his own tears. He didn’t need to cry again. “Tae, please don’t give up.”

 

“Why shouldn’t I?” Taeyang asked, shaking his head into Youngkyun’s shoulder. “There’s nothing left to hold on to.”

 

“You don’t have to hold onto anything,” Youngkyun told him, pulling him deeper into his arms. “Because I’ll hold onto you.”

 

“What if you drop me?” Taeyang asked, jerking forward as he sobbed, his fingers  digging into the material of his shirt. “What if you can’t hold me?”

 

“Then we fall together,” Youngkyun said, pressing his cheek into Taeyang’s hair, holding him close like a baby. “But don’t stop holding on because you think I can’t pull you up.”

 

Youngkyun pulled back, moving his hand to Taeyang’s cheek to wipe away the tears.

 

“I know it’s bad right now,” he admitted with a nod, not letting his eyes leave Taeyang’s. “I know everything is all falling down at once, and I get it. I can’t imagine what you must be going through, and I can’t tell you I know what it feels like. But I get it. I see the way it breaks you, and I get it,” Youngkyun stated, a single tear falling down his cheek as he said it. He moved his thumb to Taeyang’s cheeks, trying to do what little he could to wipe the tears away. “And I know you could just say ‘the hell to it all’ and give up right now, because that seems easier, doesn’t it? You could just sit here and wait for them to find you, or you could just walk away and keep walking until you can’t walk anymore. You could walk until your feet go numb and you pass out in the cold, and I get it!” Youngkyun told him, licking his lips as he moved his fingers to wipe at Taeyang’s cheeks again, like he could wipe the problems away with them. “And maybe it already feels like that to you, like you’re walking, completely numb, without a destination. But eventually, no matter where you walk, you always end up somewhere, don’t you?” Youngkyun licked his lips again, moving his fingers up to Taeyang’s hair to brush a strand away from his eyes. “So don’t give up halfway through your walk, because you made it this far already. The destination, no matter where it is, is just a short walk ahead.” Youngkyun curled his lips into a sad smile, tucking a small strand of hair behind Taeyang’s ear. “It’s your walk,” Youngkyun told him. “It might be cold no matter what you do, but do me a favor. Bring a jacket.”

 

“A jacket..?”

 

“You can’t change the circumstances, but you can change how you deal with them. So even if it’s hard, even if it’s negative degrees and you’re near frostbite, stay strong. Bring a jacket, maybe a warm cup of hot chocolate, and you’ll make it through the storm. Because every storm has a beginning, and every storm has an end.”

 

Taeyang took a deep breath, looking away from Youngkyun with teary eyes and a puff of air. He looked at every detail of the room, scanning it for something else to focus on, but Youngkyun never moved his eyes from Taeyang.

 

“You really believe we can make it through this all, don’t you?” Taeyang finally asked, finally meeting his eyes again. 

 

“I do,” Youngkyun agreed with a nod, searching for an answer in Taeyang’s eyes.

 

“Then I’ll grab a jacket,” Taeyang told him, the corners of his mouth lifting in a small smile. “I’ll push through it if you’ll stay by my side.”

 

“That’s what partners in crime are for.”


	20. Temporary

Youngkyun sighed, closing his fingers around the worn cloth in his hand. He licked his lips as he scrubbed at the plate, making sure to get every spec off. His fingers had begun to ache a while ago, the skin around them going numb from the water he’d spent hours soaking them in. He was sure his nails were as good as junk, and would probably peel and break with the slightest contact. 

 

Youngkyun sighed, putting pressure on the cloth to get a small speck off one of the plates before rinsing it and placing it in the rack by his side. He picked up another one, repeating the routine until he was long past feeling his fingers, and even past that.

 

“Hey, Hwiyoung!”

 

“Yeah, Yongchul?” Youngkyun called back over his shoulders, focusing his eyes on the plate he was scrubbing.

 

“It’s almost closing time,” the boy told him. 

 

Youngkyun placed the plate in the rack beside him, wiping his hands uselessly on the soaked cloth before turning around to see Yongchul leaning over the chef’s window, arms folded on the platform with a concerned look in his eyes.

 

Youngkyun shrugged with a smirk. “I’ll close again,” he offered, returning to the plates.

 

“Uh, no,” Yongchul denied, jumping over the counter with a loud bang and sliding through the window. He stepped on the table below the window’s platform in the process, causing Youngkyun to sigh.

 

“Well I’m going to have to if I have to clean every table to you step on,” Youngkyun commented with a small laugh, reaching into the sink for another plate. “Stop making a mess.”

 

“I’ll make as much of a mess as I want,” Yongchul threatened with a wide-eyed pout. “Should I sit on this table, here?” he asked, and before Youngkyun could object, he was already up on the table. Youngkyun rolled his eyes, turning back to the plates. “Come on, Hwiyoung!” he begged, jumping down from the table and running up to his side. He grabbed onto Youngkyun’s arm, making it a bit difficult to wash the plates. “Just one drink with me?”

 

“I can’t!” Youngkyun objected with a laugh. “I have-”

 

“You have that boy of yours waiting for you wherever you go when the apron comes off, I know,” Yongchul stated, rolling his eyes as he tugged limply on Youngkyun’s arm. “But honestly, you work too hard.”

 

“I work for money,” Youngkyun stated, dipping his fingers in the soapy water and flicking them at his coworker, letting the water drip down his face.

 

“Whatever,” Yongchul said with a pout, releasing his arm. “You’re going to waste away to nothing if you just work like this forever.”

 

“It’s not forever,” Youngkyun contradicted, mixing it up by grabbing a bowl. “It’s just for a little while.”

 

“How long?” Yongchul asked, letting his eyes scan the counter before grabbing a clean cloth, moving to grab the wet plates. “Because, honestly Hwiyoung, it’s been three weeks.”

 

“Three weeks isn’t that long,” Youngkyun denied, placing the clean bowl upside down next to the rack while Yongchul grabbed another plate to dry, stacking it neatly with the others. “You don’t have to dry those.”

 

“Well if I don’t, you will.”

 

“That’s because I get paid to do it,” Youngkyun pointed out, placing another clean bowl on top of the last one. “And three weeks isn’t that long.”

 

“Well it’s not a short time, either,” Yongchul pointed out. “And if you had any intentions on moving on any time soon, you’re definitely not showing it. Boss probably wants to give you a raise.”

 

Youngkyun snorted, trying to contain his laughter as he reached into the sink for another bowl. “Why the hell would he do that?” Youngkyun asked honestly. “He knows I’m working here illegally without documentation.”

 

“Whatever,” Yongchul said with a roll of his eyes. “I think he feels bad for paying you so little when you work so hard.”

 

“It’s not too little,” Youngkyun said with a pout, placing the bowl with the others.

 

“Seven thousand won per hour is below minimum wage,” Yongchul pointed out. 

 

Youngkyun shrugged. “Working without a real identity has its repercussions.”

 

“So why don’t you work with a real identity? If you can show your face here, you can’t be that bad,” Yongchul asked with a shrug, pulling the bowl from Youngkyun’s hands as he prepared to stack it on top of the others. “Come on, fill me in,” he begged. “We’ve been pals since you started working here, and I know nothing about you.”

 

“You know enough,” Youngkyun stated, hoping to derail the conversation again.

 

“Fill me in, fill me in. Give me the details. Hwiyoung, I want the tea!” 

 

“Here’s your tea,” Youngkyun said, handing him another bowl to dry.

 

“You should work with your real name,” Yongchul suggested. “I’d love to know what your actual name is.”

 

“Absolutely not,” Youngkyun denied, shaking his head with a playful smile on his face. 

 

“Is it that bad of a name?”

 

“It might have a bad rep if you look into it too much,” Youngkyun admitted, dunking another bowl under the water. “But nothing terrible.”

 

“Until you tell me who you are, I’m just going to have to assume you’re an arsonist.”

 

“I’m not an arsonist,” Youngkyun denied. 

 

“That’s what an arsonist would say.”

 

Youngkyun couldn’t help but laugh at Yongchul’s terrible humor. It really shocked him some days, because Yongchul just had the perfect personality for making people feel good. He would show up for work every morning, most likely stressed out from the news, research, or Taeyang, and yet Yongchul always managed to cheer him up so he could go back to Taeyang and cheer him up, too. He really appreciated Yongchul for that reason, but he knew he couldn’t tell him his name. That was the rule, even if it was his own rule.

 

He wasn’t sure how strongly his name was related to Taeyang’s in the public eye, but he had no interest in taking any risks. He couldn’t apply to anywhere without a solid address, insurance, or records, so he just applied illegally to save himself the trouble. Luckily for him, Jaejoong had taught him how to recognize North Koreans by their accents, feature, or actions, so he could scam them when selling drugs. He never had intentions to do that, but the skill came in handy for finding places who illegally hired.

 

“You have some audacity asking for my real name when you work with a fake one, too,” Youngkyun pointed out with a chuckle. 

 

“Yongchul is my official South Korean name,” Yongchul defended, sticking out his tongue. “So I count that as real.”

 

“I’ll tell you my name when I can quit,” Youngkyun decided, looking over to Yongchul with a smile. “By then, things should be better enough that I can actually use my real name again.”

 

“How long will that be?” Yongchul asked, picking up another bowl to dry.

 

Youngkyun shrugged. “Well, it’s been five weeks since my life started falling apart, so I’m guessing five more weeks until it all starts to come back together.”

 

“Make it seven if it’s still so bad that you can’t use your real name,” Yongchul suggested with a small smile.

 

“But you have to tell me yours, too,” Youngkyun bargained.

 

“My name is Yongchul,” the boy denied. “But keep the first part. I’ll find out your real name when your life gets better and you can quit.”

 

“I hope to quit soon,” Youngkyun said, raising his dirty cloth in a cheer as he smiled from the empty sink to Yongchul.

 

“I hope your life gets better,” Yongchul stated, raising the bowl in his hand. “But you should still come down to visit.

 

“Suwon is only an hour from Seoul, so I’m sure I can make time,” Youngkyun said with a small smile. 

 

“Maybe I’ll come to Seoul,” Yongchul said with a shrug. “So are we going out for drinks or not?”

 

“I have to clean the tables you stepped and sat on.”

 

“Is that a no?”

 

“I have to get back to-”

 

“What’s his name?”

 

Youngkyun blinked at Yongchul, a dry towel in his hand and a spray bottle in the other. “His name?”

 

“Your boy.”

 

“I can’t tell you,” Youngkyun shut down immediately, spraying the counter and wiping it down quickly.

 

Yongchul nodded with a thoughtful look on his face. “Okay, fine. Then go home today and tell your boy to let you come out with me for drinks.”

 

“I’m not nineteen yet,” Youngkyun stated, throwing the towel to the side of the kitchen.

 

“Then you should be in school,” Yongchul suggested. “And how can you be okay with working illegally under a fake name, but drinking is a big no no? It’s soju. It’s not that deep.”

 

Youngkyun reached behind him, pulling the strings tied around his back apart with fumbling fingers before pulling the apron over his head, hanging it on the hook by the door.

 

“Hey, come here,” Yongchul demanded, grabbing a sharpie and uncapping it with his mouth. Yongchul didn’t give Youngkyun a chance to deny before grabbing his arm, dragging the sharpie across his skin.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a sigh as he looked down at his arm. When Yongchul was done writing, he pulled it up to his face so he could read it.

 

_ Please let Hwiyoungie come for drinks! _

_ ~Yongchul <3 _

 

“Really?” Youngkyun asked with an unimpressed face while Yongchul nodded, a smile spreading across his face as he capped the sharpie. 

 

“Tell your boy that.”

 

“I think you did a fine job of saying it for me,” Youngkyun stated sarcastically, pushing the doors to the kitchen open and moving over to grab his coat. 

 

“Will you be okay walking home tonight?” Yongchul asked, shrugging his coat on as well. “It’s snowing pretty heavily out there.”

 

Youngkyun zipped up his coat with a nod, turning to Yongchul. “It’s not much of a home,” he confessed. “I prefer to call it somewhere I go back to.”

 

Yongchul rolled his eyes. “You should start calling it a home.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you said this was temporary, but it’ll always be temporary if you just keep calling it ‘a place to go back to,’” Yongchul said with a deep voiced imitation of Youngkyun. “At some point it has to become permanent, right?”

 

“I  _ do _ have a life,” Youngkyun retorted. “It’s just a little messed up right now. I’ll get back to it. That makes this temporary.”

 

“Temporary is a few weeks.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“I said a few weeks, not twelve,” Yongchul said with a snort. “That’s not temporary. That’s an entire chunk of your life. Like, yeah, at some point your life might get better, but can you honestly say it’ll go back to normal?”

 

Youngkyun sighed, sticking his hands in his pockets. “No,” he said simply.

 

“Then this isn’t temporary,” Yongchul said, walking up to Youngkyun and patting his cheeks with a scrunched up nose. “It’s a new part of your life.”

 

“Is that what you did when you moved here?” Youngkyun asked, reaching behind the counter to grab his beanie, pulling it snugly over his blonde hair. 

 

Yongchul nodded with a proud smile. “Homelessness and poverty aren’t temporary situations unless they have a start and an end, in my opinion,” Yongchul claimed. “So I started calling my cardboard box my home, and suddenly I had the courage to get a job and start making actual money for myself. So wherever this ‘place to go back to’ is, you should start calling it home.”

 

“What if it moves around?” Youngkyun asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

Yongchul chuckled, pulling his hood over his head. “Any hotel can be a home if it’s where you intend to go back to at night.”

 

↔

 

“Tae, I’m back!” Youngkyun called, slipping off his shoes as he stepped through the door. He had thought about saying “I’m home” the entire ride up the elevator, but he couldn’t bring himself to actually say it. It felt too weird.

 

“How was work?” Taeyang called from his bed. 

 

“Yongchul had some opinions on my lack of interest to go out and get drinks with him,” Youngkyun told him simply, shrugging of his jacket and placing it neatly on the hook. “He left you a message.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Officially to ‘my boy,’” Youngkyun stated proudly, walking over and showing Taeyang the pen marks on his arm.

 

“Does he know I’m not your possessive boyfriend?” Taeyang asked with a scoff, looking up to Youngkyun in disbelief. 

 

Youngkyun put his hands up in defense. “He doesn’t know anything about us,” he defended. “I say I have to come back here after work, and he just assumes.”

 

“You don’t  _ have _ to,” Taeyang said, stretching out his words. “You can go out and get drinks, Kyun.”

 

“Not while you’re locked up here,” Youngkyun stated, falling onto his bed with a sigh of relief. He was actually quite thankful that this hotel could only offer them a double, because Taeyang had notes spread out all over his own bed, and Youngkyun was about ready to pass out in five seconds. “Did you find anything new?”

 

“Just more old receipts. The bank won’t give me anything, still, because I can’t use my real name, and FNC employees are really good at hiding their shit.”

 

Youngkyun sighed, closing his eyes as he laid back on the bed, still in his work clothes. He felt the beanie slip off his head but he didn’t care enough to fix it. 

 

“Kyun, go to sleep.”

 

“You go to sleep,” he retorted with a pout in his voice. “I bet you’ve done nothing all day but research this stuff.”

 

“What else can I do?” 

 

“Go outside,” Youngkyun suggested sleepily. “Nobody says you can’t put your mask on and go for a walk. I’ve even offered to take you to the diner before.”

 

“I’m not risking that,” Taeyang said simply.

 

“It’s not temporary,” Youngkyun mumbled, letting out a sigh as he thought about sleep.

 

“What’s not temporary?” Taeyang asked.

 

“This,” Youngkyun said with a weak gesture to the room around him. “It’s not temporary, because no matter what we do, things won’t go back exactly the way they were. This is part of our lives now. Yongchul said that.”

 

“Well if we want our lives to go back even remotely close to how they used to be, we have to look at every single thing.”

 

“How many times have you gone over those receipts?” Youngkyun mumbled, picturing the same receipts Taeyang had been focusing on for three weeks now. 

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

“Okay,” Youngkyun agreed, for the sole purpose that he just wanted to rest. “You win,” Youngkyun continued to mumble, his voice drifting farther and farther away as he spoke. “But you’re wrong.”

 

“Kyun, you’re still in your work clothes.”

 

“Mm.”

 

He didn’t budge much when he felt Taeyang’s hands by the buttons of his shirt, popping them open one by one. He felt his chest exposed to the cold air of the room, but one push from Taeyang was all it took for him to not curl into a ball for warmth.

 

“Are you wearing boxers?”

 

“Who do you think I am?” Youngkyun mumbled, barely comprehending what was going on around him. “Duh.”

 

He felt Taeyang’s hands at the buttons of his pants, pulling them down lightly until he heard them falling to the floor. He didn’t understand how, but somehow Taeyang had managed to get him into his pajama pants easily.

 

“Thank you for working so hard,” Taeyang spoke softly, placing a small kiss on Youngkyun’s forehead. He didn’t have the energy to respond, just letting the feeling linger on his skin as the warmth of the blankets fell on his shoulders. He was so warm and comfortable. He wanted to stay so warm forever. He never wanted to get up again, and he never wanted to have to go to work again. He just wanted to stay right where it was warm and-

 

“Fuck!” Youngkyun yelled, jumping up in bed, hands pressed against his head as the gunshot rang throughout his head, echoing off of every mental wall he could picture. The sound lingered in his ears as he looked around him, ignoring the sweat forming on his forehead. 

 

“Kyun?” Taeyang slurred, rolling over in bed and lifting his head up. Every light in the room was off except the small desk lamp which Taeyang always kept on for him.

 

“Fuck,” Youngkyun mumbled to himself again, pulling his hair into his fingers and pulling at the roots. It angered him that he had to reach farther up to pull at his hair now. 

 

“Kyun, hey,” Taeyang whispered.

 

“I’m fine,” Youngkyun stated, falling back in his bed with an annoyed sigh. He knew this would happen. 

 

In all honesty, Youngkyun hadn’t been sleeping well for the past five weeks. It had gotten better, but not by much. At first, he would have trouble falling asleep for more than four hours, but now he had gotten it up to six. Every few nights, he had a night where he just couldn’t fall asleep, no matter what, and when he did, he most likely had a terrible dream, as usual. In all honesty, he couldn’t even remember who was holding the gun in this one. 

 

“It’s okay,” Taeyang mumbled, pushing himself out of his bed and crawling into Youngkyun’s. He hugged his body to his, wrapping himself in Youngkyun’s warmth. “You’re okay.”

 

“Your hands are cold,” Youngkyun commented, only causing Taeyang to press his hands farther down on Youngkyun’s bare chest.

 

“You’re warm.”

 

“Did you take my shirt off?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow at the sleepy boy. 

 

Taeyang nodded, his black hair falling over his eyes. “You were awake.”

 

“I don’t remember,” he admitted.

 

“Can you check the news?” Taeyang asked, burying his face into Youngkyun’s chest.

 

One thing Youngkyun honestly enjoyed about Taeyang’s company was the understanding he had towards Youngkyun. Taeyang never had to ask to crawl into Youngkyun’s bed, he just did. Taeyang also knew he wouldn’t fall back asleep, and he knew when to ask and when to not. Youngkyun really appreciated that.

 

“Will the light bother you?” he asked quietly.

 

Taeyang shook his head, his nose tickling Youngkyun’s side. “FNC was being quiet last night. Usually they post updates and stuff,” he mumbled. “But they were being quiet. I just want you to check.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, reaching over for the TV remote and turning it on. The screen lit up the room instantly, causing Youngkyun to quint for a second to adjust to the light. Taeyang buried himself into Youngkyun’s chest again with a moan, and Youngkyun laughed, pulling the blankets a bit over his head. 

 

“The funeral for the young boy will be held two weeks from now, for anyone who wishes to attend,” a reporter announced from in front of the FNC building.

 

“Who died?” Taeyang mumbled.

 

“Hold on, let me check the other stations,” Youngkyun said, turning up the volume a bit and switching the channel. 

 

“Though the boy’s father was not present to identify the body, police have confirmed the identity of the boy as Yoo Taeyang, son of the retired CEO of FNC, Yoo Haeseong.”


	21. You're Cute

“This is a trap, right?” Taeyang asked, fully awake and pulling at the roots of his hair. “This is some kind of trick to get us to come back to Seoul, right? It has to be.”

 

“I mean… It doesn’t make any sense, though,” Youngkyun stated, reaching over to turn the light on the bedside table on. He sat in front of Taeyang, his legs crossed in front of him with the blankets pulled over his lap.

 

“Maybe they want us to come back. Maybe they want us to think it’s okay to come back because they can’t find us.”

 

“Finding people takes time, it always has,” Youngkyun explained, his eyes flickering between Taeyang and the TV. “If they wanted to lure us back, why wouldn’t they wait a few more weeks hoping someone else would find us?”

 

“Maybe it gets my face in the news more?” Taeyang suggested, looking to Youngkyun with a raised eyebrow.

 

“I mean, maybe, but if people think you’re dead, they’re not going to look for you, or expect to see you. It’s completely ineffective!” 

 

“Then do they really think I’m dead?” Taeyang asked, running his fingers through his hair again. “I mean- maybe they really did think the body was me. They have no other reason to tell the public I’m dead.”

 

“I honestly can’t think of one good reason FNC would tell people you’re dead. There isn’t a single explanation,” Youngkyun stated with a shake of his head. “They  _ have _ to actually think you’re dead.”

 

“So, what?” Taeyang asked, turning completely to Youngkyun. “They just picked the first body they found and said it was probably me? What about you? They know we were together!”

 

Youngkyun moved his teeth to bite on his lips, but retracted it as soon as he saw Taeyang glaring at him. 

 

“I don’t know what to say!” Youngkyun stated, hands flying up in his defense. “I really have no idea.”

 

“I hate this,” Taeyang mumbled. “They could be trying to get us, or they could really think I’m dead. That’s a huge ass difference.”

 

“You know-”

 

“I’m not calling Seokwoo.”

 

Youngkyun threw his hands up in defense with a nod, not willing to press the issue any further. 

 

“But… what if he thinks I’m really dead? Kyun, what if my dad saw the news and thinks I’m dead? What about Chanhee? What would he think happened to you? Is it safe to call him-”

 

“Deep breaths, Tae. Deep breaths,” Youngkyun reminded the boy, lowering his hands to his lap. “I’ll send him a letter after work tomorrow,” Youngkyun decided, pushing himself out of the bed and stalking over to the small table in the corner of the hotel room with a pad of paper and a pen to leave notes on for the employees.

 

“Let’s just go to the convenience store now,” Taeyang suggested, pulling himself out of bed as well. “We can get real paper there, get an envelope, send it, and eat while we’re at it.”

 

“I like that idea,” Youngkyun agreed, turning around to his duffel and grabbing a black, long sleeved shirt before tugging it over his head. “Also, next time you dress me, you could add a shirt in the mix?”

 

Taeyang shrugged and moved over to his own suitcase, sifting through the clothes for something to wear. After a few seconds, he sighed, falling onto the floor. “I think we need to choose a hotel closer to a washer next time,” he complained with a pout.

 

Youngkyun smiled, picking a graphic tee from his bag and tossing it in Taeyang’s direction. “I think I need some new work clothes,” Youngkyun added in. “Going to the washer’s almost every week is becoming tedious.”

 

“Cheap shopping, then?” Taeyang asked, pulling his pajama shirt over his head and throwing it lazily onto Youngkyun’s bed. He tugged the shirt over his head and moved to grab the pants he had worn earlier in the day.

 

“Yeah, but seriously, how are you completely out of clothes? You can’t even go out.”

 

“I refuse to wear pajamas all day.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a laugh, reaching in his duffel for a clean pair of pants. “Remind yourself to get more shirts, then.”

 

↔

 

“I don’t know what to write,” Youngkyun admitted as Taeyang came up to his side, a steaming cup of ramen in each hand. Youngkyun moved his foot to shift Taeyang’s chair so he could put the cups down on the counter more easily. He shifted his paper to the side, thanking Taeyang as he took the cup in his hands. 

 

Lately, his boss had started letting Yongchul and him eat at work with the leftovers that would end up getting thrown out, so he hadn’t been eating as much with Taeyang. But damn, warm ramen was always better than garbage diner food, most of which was disgusting to the point where he couldn’t eat it, no matter how much he wanted to.

 

“Just tell him you’re okay,” Taeyang suggested. “Don’t tell him too much, though.”

 

“I have a bad feeling about writing a letter that could get lost or end up with someone else, though,” Youngkyun admitted, putting his pen down in frustration as he turned to the ramen.

 

Taeyang blew on his, placing his fingers on Youngkyun’s forehead to hold him back from eating the food that was definitely too hot for him to eat at the moment.

 

“So don’t sign it,” Taeyang suggested, pushing his head back with the tips of his fingers. “Maybe just write something down on it that only he would know, so you can tell him you’re okay.”

 

“I hate the idea of anyone even knowing the two of us are close enough to have contact. If I tell him I’m okay, and that you’re not dead, don’t you think someone else would have the basic understanding of who it was from, even without the signature?”

 

Taeyang nodded, rolling his eyes before picking up his chopsticks. “I guess,” he agreed, shoving the ramen in his mouth. Youngkyun didn’t wait, grabbing his own chopsticks and grabbing a bit of ramen, blowing on it quickly and shoving it in his mouth. He was on the verge of moaning, so happy to have tasteful food in his mouth for once, but all he got was a disgusted stare from Taeyang.

 

“You don’t even know how disgusting that diner food is,” Youngkyun defended, pointing his chopsticks at Taeyang. 

 

“Kyun, it’s ramen. You didn’t even look this happy when I bought you hanwoo.”

 

“Nothing is better than the familiar taste of more often than not microwaved ramen after eating nothing but shit for a week straight,” Youngkyun told him, savoring the flavor of the salty ramen with a smile on his face.

 

Taeyang snorted, covering his mouth with the back of his hand and smiling at Youngkyun. Youngkyun scoffed, reaching over to Taeyang’s face to pull his mask a bit higher, just to cover his chin again.

 

“It’s so not fair that I have to wear a mask in public, but you don’t.”

 

“Literally nobody in Suwon is going to recognize me if they haven’t already,” Youngkyun reasoned. “But you’re in the news a lot lately, I hear.”

 

“Oh yeah, did you hear that story about the guy who died? What a looker, am I right?” Taeyang asked with a slight laugh at his own comment.

 

Youngkyun shook his head, picking up more ramen with his chopsticks. “I don’t think so.”

 

Taeyang moved over to hit Youngkyun’s shoulder lightly, Youngkyun did very little but scrunch his shoulders to avoid it as he stuffed more ramen into his mouth. Taeyang was laughing, and the only reason Youngkyun was trying not to was because he didn’t want to choke on his food.

 

Honestly, they spent more time sitting at the counter making fun of the news story at two in the morning than they did writing the letter for Chanhee. Youngkyun did end up figuring out the perfect message, though, sealing it up inside an envelope and shipping it off to the school for Chanhee.

 

He hoped Chanhee wouldn’t worry too much after receiving the letter, and he also hoped his friend wouldn’t kick his ass for writing so little.

 

_ ~Dear Chanhee, _

_ I told you not to believe the news, didn’t I? _

 

↔

 

“What did your boy say about my message?” Yongchul asked, tilting his head with a smile as he flipped around the sign on the front door from “Open” to “Closed”.

 

“He told me to inform you that he isn’t in charge of me,” Youngkyun stated, spraying down the table in front of him and starting to wipe it down. “But I can’t leave him alone just to go out.”

 

“Bring him with you,” Yongchul suggested. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

 

“You assume I’m going to introduce you.”

 

“Well, damn, I hope so,” Yongchul said with a hiccup of a laugh, grabbing the towel from his waistband to help Youngkyun wipe down the tables.

 

“Hey, don’t you think it’s a bit weird for Boss to let us close up?”

 

Yongchul shook his head, motioning for Youngkyun to spray the next table. “I think he trusts us more than the other employees, to be honest. Because, really, what are we going to do? If we steal, we get fired. If we do anything wrong, we get fired, and we can’t take it to court like other people can. And where would we find work after that? How many places in Suwon hire illegals?”

 

“Okay, okay, fine, you’ve made your point,” Youngkyun said with a laugh, spraying another table. “But really, I-”

 

“Is that your phone?”

 

Youngkyun paused, looking up to Yongchul with a confused look as Yongchul pointed back towards the kitchen area where a faint ringing was sounding.

 

“Your burner phone.”

 

“I don’t have a burner phone,” Youngkyun mumbled, shoving the end of the towel in the waistband of his pants.

 

“I know you have one,” Yongchul stated, tossing his towel over his shoulder. “Nobody is here to yell at you if you answer it.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, hurrying to the kitchen and grabbing his burner phone from his small locker. He flipped it open, pressing it between his ear and his shoulder as he hurried back out to the main room of the diner.

 

“I thought you said you wouldn’t call me at work,” Youngkyun said, making is way back to Yongchul. 

 

“Aren’t you closed, now?” Taeyang asked with a pitch at the end of his voice. 

 

“Yeah, but Yongchul and I stay after to clean up, remember?”

 

“Oh, I thought you just kicked people out early so you two could leave on time.”

 

“How long do you really think it takes me to walk from the diner to the hotel?” Youngkyun asked with a laugh, pulling the towel from his waistband.

 

Yongchul hopped in front of him, wide eyed with excitement and mouthing “your boy?” Youngkyun ignored him.

 

“Is Yongchul there?” Taeyang asked through the call.

 

“Yeah, so hush hush on using my name,” Youngkyun told him. 

 

“You’re no fun,” Yongchul commented, grabbing his towel from his shoulder and pulling the spray bottle from Youngkyun’s hands.

 

“We just have to finish cleaning tables,” Youngkyun told Taeyang, swatting at Yongchul shoulder with a smile. “I’ll be back in like ten to twenty minutes. I shouldn’t be long.”

 

“He misses you!” Yongchul called out, dancing around in a circle with his hands in the air. “Hwiyoung can’t wait to get back and see you!”

 

“Hwiyoung can’t wait to get back so he can put on sweatpants,” Youngkyun corrected into the phone in third person as Taeyang laughed. 

 

“Hey, so I had a bizarre idea,” Taeyang announced, shuffling around on the other end of the phone. “What if I come and pick you up?”

 

Youngkyun’s mouth fell open in confusion, having no words to describe how shocked he was at the idea.

 

“You want to pick me up?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“With the car?”

 

“Yes. Unless you want me to walk you back?”

 

“You’re going to leave the hotel?”

 

“Yes, Kyu- Hwi! Hwiyoung! I’m going to leave the hotel,” Taeyang said with a giggle, the sound of the car door closing traveling through the line.

 

“Is your boy coming?” Yongchul asked, perking up with wide eyes. “Can I meet him? Can I meet him? Please, please, please?!”

 

“Are you sure?” Youngkyun asked into the phone, ignoring Yongchul. “I mean-”

 

“It’s fine,” Taeyang stated through the line.

 

“So… you’re picking me up from work then? Do you-”

 

“Hey! It’s fine. Stop worrying so much, okay? It’s dark outside, I’ll have my mask and hat on, and I’ll be fine. It’s right down the road anyways.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, exhaling as he did. “Okay, okay. Well, Yongchul wants to meet you.”

 

“Is it okay? Even if he recognizes me?”

 

“What am I going to do?” Yongchul yelled to Taeyang, “turn you guys in? I’d have to put attention on myself to do that.”

 

Taeyang scoffed through the phone. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

 

“I’ll come out to you,” Youngkyun stated before ending the call. Beside him, Yongchul was staring between him and the phone like an excited puppy. 

 

Youngkyun just rolled his eyes and moved to grab his jacket.

 

It only took a few minutes for Taeyang to reach the diner, parking right outside the building with a mask around his face like he had promised. Youngkyun tossed the keys to Yongchul, making him lock the doors as he walked out to greet his friend.

 

“I can’t believe you’re outside on your own accord,” Youngkyun said with a smile on his face, smiling at Taeyang through the open window of the car.

 

“I can’t believe I picked such a shitty day to come pick you up,” Taeyang replied, looking around to the slush lining the streets as small flurries of snow fell from the sky.

 

“I’m not arguing,” Youngkyun said with a gummy smile, turning around just in time to see Yongchul running over, smiling at Taeyang like a boy finding the Christmas tree buried in presents.

 

“Hello!” he greeted cheerfully. “It’s so nice to meet you! Hwiyoung talks about you a lot. I’m Yongchul!” 

 

“I can’t tell you my name, sorry,” Taeyang said with an apologetic smile through the window. He reached for his door, opening it and walking around to the two of them. The snow fell around them calmly and slowly, no wind blowing their hair around and no car rushing around them to disturb the peacefulness. 

 

“That’s okay. I’ll just call you Hwiyoung’s boy.” 

 

“That works for me,” Taeyang agreed with a laugh, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Thank you for being such a good friend to Ky- goddammit- Hwiyoung, these past few weeks,” Taeyang said, biting his teeth together as he spoke.

 

“Nice job,” Youngkyun commented under his breath.

 

“I enjoy his company,” Yongchul stated with a smile. “He’s a good person, so I don’t mind spending so much time around him. Sorry for hogging him so much of the day.”

 

Taeyang laughed, his smile showing through his eyes. “As long as he doesn’t mind, neither do I.”

 

“I hope I don’t come across weird saying this, but you have really pretty eyes,” Yongchul commented towards Taeyang, turning to Youngkyun quickly. “I swear I’m not hitting on your man, they’re just pretty!” 

 

“We’re not dating,” Taeyang corrected with a smile, bowing his head at Yongchul. “And thank you.”

 

“Really?” Yongchul asked, turning to Youngkyun. “You talk about him so much, I thought you were.”

 

“Aw, how sweet,” Taeyang commented with a tilt of his head and a cute eye smile. 

 

“You’ve consumed my life,” Youngkyun pointed out with a breath of a laugh, “what else am I supposed to talk about?”

 

“I take pride in being the highlight of your life!” Taeyang announced with a proud tone, completely twisting Youngkyun’s words.

 

“And you two are  _ sure _ you’re not a couple?” Yongchul asked, looking suspiciously between the two.

 

Youngkyun snorted, mimicking Taeyang with his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, we’re sure.”

 

“Well, anyways, since your boy is here to chose my side,” Yongchul started, turning to Taeyang. “Drinks? You, my pal, look like you haven’t had a drink in months. Plus, I get bored drinking by myself.”

 

“I like the idea,” Taeyang announced with a smile.

 

“Uh, no. You, at a bar? Bad idea,” Youngkyun told him, reaching up to his own face to gesture to the mask on Taeyang’s. “You’re still in hiding.”

 

“Dead,” Taeyang mouthed to Youngkyun, winking at him as he said it. 

 

“There’s a cool bar a few streets down that’s usually lit pretty dimly, and nobody gives a fuck about anybody there,” Yongchul pointed out. “We could chose a corner table?”

 

“I love the idea!”

 

“For the love of god…” Youngkyun mumbled, shaking his head to get rid of the small build up of snow that had started. “Fine. We can all go get drinks together. But not tonight, and my boy is under strict rules to neither show his face or speak directly to anyone,” Youngkyun decided, pointing a finger at Taeyang. “Because if someone recognizes you, we’re fucked.”

 

“I promise!” Taeyang said, placing one hand over his heart and raising his other as if to recite an oath. 

 

“I can’t wait!” Yongchul said with a bright smile, bouncing up and down like a happy child. “Okay, well, get home safely, okay? Hwiyoung’s boy, I’m so glad I finally got to meet you! I can’t wait to spend more time with you guys. Have a good night!” 

 

Youngkyun reached out to hug Yongchul, wishing him a good night until they would see each other tomorrow. They got in the car shortly after, turning up the heat and waving goodbye as Taeyang pulled away from the curb and into the roads. 

 

“Taeyang, the hotel is back that way,” Youngkyun reminded him, pointing over his shoulder. 

 

“I like Yongchul,” he decided, ignoring Youngkyun. “He’s really nice. I can see why you like him so much. He’s funny too. I think hanging out with him would be fun.”

 

“I’m glad you like him, and I think he likes you too. But, where the fuck are we going?” Youngkyun asked with a laugh. “You’ve missed like, five opportunities to stop and turn around.”

 

“Who said I came to pick you up to bring you back to the hotel?” Taeyang asked with a sly grin. 

 

“Where else would we go?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow to himself. “It’s close to midnight and we can’t go anywhere too public, not that you would want to anyways.”

 

“I had a thought,” Taeyang explained, flicking on his blinker and turning the wheel gently. “Because I was thinking about what you said yesterday.”

 

“About you being dead?”

 

“About this not being temporary,” Taeyang corrected. “Because, like, you’re right. Yongchul was right. I hate to say it, but in the past five weeks we haven’t found anything. I keep going over the same receipts and statements, hoping I’ve missed something, but there’s just nothing there to find.”

 

“I refuse to give up,” Youngkyun stated immediately, crossing his arms.

 

“Oh, no! I’m not saying we should give up! I’ll never say that. I’m just saying, maybe it’s not as simple as finding an answer. I mean, like the whole situation with Insik. Had we not gone to that hotel at that exact moment, we never would have known anything about that. It was all about the timing. So maybe, instead of looking endlessly for an answer that just isn’t there, we should start focusing on other things too.”

 

“Other things?” Youngkyun asked, processing Taeyang’s words.

 

“Like work. I should be picking you up everyday, because I feel bad for not being able to work.”

 

“It’s not your fault,” Youngkyun told him.

 

“I know,” Taeyang responded. “But it’s my face we can’t show, so I’m going to feel bad anyways. But, my point is, I should be picking you up, and we should look into getting real phones instead of these rip offs. We should be making friends, like Yongchul, and going places like normal people.”

 

“You’re saying you want to… adjust?” Youngkyun asked, turning to Taeyang with furrowed brows.

 

Taeyang nodded. “I want to start adjusting to this life,” he confirmed. “The solution to our problem will come out eventually, but not right now. We have to wait a bit more, I think. If we give it time, I think we’ll find something. So until then, we should start actually putting our lives together,” Taeyang explained, pulling to a stop at the light.

 

Youngkyun nodded, pulling his lips into a line as he thought. “I think you’re right,” he agreed. “But are you ready to start… I don’t know, living life like this?”

 

“I don’t mind it, actually,” Taeyang stated quickly. “I wouldn’t mind dropping you off and picking you up every day. I could even do some of the shopping as long as I keep my voice a pitch lower and my mask on,” he explained cheerfully. “I could do some volunteer work here and there, and some days I could stop by the diner on your breaks. We could go out with Yongchul, and maybe even make other friends. Maybe, we could even get to a point where I don’t need to wear my mask!”

 

“Tae…”

 

“I know it’s a lot,” Taeyang agreed, tapping his hands on the wheel. “I know that would take a lot of time, and I know we don’t really have a lot of that with my dad. But, Kyun, I can’t find him. I have thought through every scenario of me going into that company and just ripping the answer out of someone, but every scenario ends badly. I can’t find him... but that doesn’t mean we deserve to live like we are now.”

 

“So where are we going?” Youngkyun asked, nodding towards the road ahead of them. “You’re taking me somewhere, right? You said you wanted to start acting like this is our life now, so where are we going?”

 

“The community pool!” Taeyang announced with a proud smile. “They clean it every night around nine before shutting the place down for the night.

 

“Tae, it’s almost midnight.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“It’s closed.”

 

“I know.”

 

“If it’s closed, we can’t go.”

 

Taeyang snorted, smirking to himself as he drove. “Kyun, I’m already dead. I know my face is on the news, and I know we could never go during the daytime when other people are there, so we’re going now. I could care less about breaking into a community pool at this point,” he explained, pulling into an alley and driving around to the back parking lot. “Plus, the pool is heated and I want to swim in a heated pool right now.”

 

Youngkyun had to cover his mouth to keep himself from laughing. He wanted to be mad that Taeyang’s first idea was breaking into some place, but he couldn’t bring himself to it. In all honesty, Youngkyun loved the idea. They would have the whole building to themselves and they wouldn’t have to worry about anybody seeing them or hearing them.

 

“Wait! What are we supposed to swim in?” Youngkyun asked, turning to Taeyang as he pulled into a parking spot in front of the building. “I’m in my work clothes.”

 

“So take them off?” Taeyang suggested like it was obvious, putting the car in park before pulling out the key and unbuckling his belt. 

 

“What if my underwear is white?” Youngkyun challenged, awaiting Taeyang’s answer.

 

“It’s not.”

 

“You don’t know that.”

 

Taeyang snorted, turning to Youngkyun in his seat. “Your underwear is red. All of your underwear is red. I don’t think you own one pair of underwear that isn’t red.”

 

“That’s so creepy. Why do you know what color my underwear is?” Youngkyun asked with a disgusted pout, only angry because Taeyang was absolutely right.

 

“Kyun, we live together. Our bags get mixed up. When we buy clothes, I’m right next to you. I literally undressed you last night. Your underwear is dark red. You’re fine.”

 

Taeyang didn’t wait for his response, opening his door and closing it behind him proudly. Youngkyun pouted to himself for a second more before opening his door to follow after the boy. 

 

“Pick the lock,” Taeyang demanded with a smile, handing a small paper clip to Youngkyun.

 

“What if I can’t?” Youngkyun challenged, hands on his hips.

 

“I bet you can.”

 

“Fuck off,” Youngkyun mumbled, taking the paperclip from his hands and bending down to the door. Taeyang busted out in laughter behind him, folding over with his hands on his stomach as Youngkyun pouted, having the door open in less than a minute. 

 

They didn’t turn on any lights as they walked down the hallways, smelling the chlorine instantly. They made their way carefully to the locker rooms, deciding to just leave their things on the benches instead of figuring out how to get into the lockers.

 

Youngkyun shrugged off his coat, folding it neatly and adding his belt on top of it. He pulled his shirt over his head, pulling off his pants and adding them both to the pile. He was ready to look up to Taeyang all embarrassed to just be standing around in his boxers, but Taeyang was just looking up to him with an excited smile.

 

“We’re gonna go swimming!” he announced happily, bouncing off to the pool room in his dark blue boxers. He ran ahead of Youngkyun, tiptoeing across the floor and bouncing around with his steps echoing in the quiet, looking for the right door to the pool. Youngkyun followed after him carefully, not wanting to slip and fall before even getting to the pool.

 

The pool room was huge, a big curved roof hanging above them with windows surrounding them, blocked out by long sheets. The room was so dark that Youngkyun could just barely see the outlines of everything. He could see the water sloshing around in the pool, and he could see the tiles he stood on reflecting what little light there was in the room. He could see Taeyang standing by the edge, his hair covering his eyes as he waved Youngkyun over.

 

Youngkyun moved quickly, pattering across the floor to Taeyang’s side, listening to his steps echoing throughout the entire room.

 

“Is there really nobody here?” Youngkyun asked quietly, leaning in towards Taeyang as he spoke. “Not even guards?”

 

“No guards!” Taeyang stated happily, looking around the room. “The place is completely empty.”

 

“Then-”

 

Youngkyun didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Taeyang took a step back, rushing forward and diving into the water, arms above his head and feet out behind him as he dove into the pool.

 

Youngkyun laughed, holding his hands up to block the splash to no avail. 

 

“It feels so nice!” Taeyang cheered, throwing the water up with his hands as he splashed around. “Dive!”

 

“I can’t dive,” Youngkyun admitted, a teeth exposing smile across his face.

 

“Then jump!”

 

“Okay, okay,” Youngkyun agreed with a laugh, moving back a few steps before rushing forward, flailing in the air for only a few seconds before he came down, water surrounding him completely and rushing over him like a shocking wave of both cold and warmth.

 

He pushed himself up to the surface of the water, only to be met by Taeyang splashing at his face with a bright laugh, paddling around in the water.

 

“It does feel nice,” Youngkyun admitted, floating himself onto his back and closing his eyes. The water hugged his body, pulling at his hair like a soft brush, pulling all the stress out of his muscles and lifting the weights from his shoulders. 

 

“I love it,” Taeyang said, grabbing Youngkyun’s hand and pulling him out of his relaxed float. “I bet I can swim across the pool faster than you.”

 

“I really bet you can’t,” Youngkyun challenged with a smirk, grabbing Taeyang’s hand and pulling him with him to the deepest end of the pool.

 

“Ready?”

 

“Go!”

 

Youngkyun pushed off from the wall, letting himself glide under the water with his hands out in front of him. He paddled with his feet, kicking around him and pushing himself forwards with his hands. When he got to the shallow end, he looked up to see Taeyang already pushing off and starting on his way back.

 

Youngkyun moved to the wall, pushing off quickly and trailing after Taeyang. He kicked as hard as he could, pushing himself to get there first.

 

Taeyang reached the wall just before him, coming above the water for a breath of air and a happy laugh. “This is so nice. I want to do this everyday.”

 

“We needed this,” Youngkyun agreed, holding himself up with his hand on the edge of the pool as he tried to catch his breath. “We deserved this.”

 

“This is the best idea I’ve ever had.”

 

“Even though it’s illegal, I have to agree,” Youngkyun said with a laugh, letting his happiness bounce off the walls around him. 

 

He pushed himself away from the wall, letting the water carry him out away from the wall peacefully. The waves lapped over his chin and around his shoulders. He quickly dunked his head under the water again, pushing his hair back away from his forehead and shaking out his nerves with a sigh of relief. 

 

“I really like your blonde hair,” Taeyang commented, pushing away from the wall and swimming over to Youngkyun. “I really, really like it.”

 

“I kind of like it, too,” Youngkyun admitted shyly, moving his hand to push it back more. He kicked to keep himself above the water as Taeyang moved towards him, looking at him with the happiest smile on his face.

 

Taeyang’s smile was something special. He could make any day better with a genuine smile, and it reminded Youngkyun of the sun with how bright it was. Just seeing Taeyang smile made him feel better. It made his heart beat in his chest as a smile appeared on his own face.

 

“What are you looking at?” Taeyang asked in a soft voice, smiling with wet lashes, his cheeks glowing gently in the dark around them. His smile was brighter than anything else in the room, and Youngkyun was sure he looked pretty stupid, just watching Taeyang the way he was.

 

“Your smile,” he told him honestly, causing the smile on Taeyang’s face to grow, pushing his eyes into a smile as he giggled, his laugh echoing throughout the room. 

 

“You’re cute.”

 

“Shut up,” Youngkyun told him, dunking his head under the water with a shy smile. He came above the water again, pushing his hair away from his face only to find Taeyang still looking at him.

 

“You’re cute,” he repeated, lips curling into another big smile.

 

Youngkyun fumbled around for words as he focused his eyes on the water around him, thinking of something he could say when Taeyang reached for his hands, linking their fingers together in the water. 

 

“You’re cute,” Taeyang told him again, smiling gently at their hands. 

 

The light reflected in his eyes so subtly, but so beautifully that it made them shine in the dark room. His cheeks glowed with his smile, and his smile was so bright and happy, Youngkyun felt like he was watching the sun. His hand was so soft, even in the water, and Youngkyun didn’t know if he ever wanted Taeyang to let go.

 

And just watching Taeyang float, so effortlessly happy by their entwined hands, Youngkyun realized what the feeling in his chest was. He realized what it felt like to care for somebody completely, to be so caught up in one person that just a simple smile could make his heart race. And with their entwined hands, Taeyang’s smile at him and a look of pure happiness on his face, Youngkyun realized he would do anything for Taeyang, because he didn’t think he had ever cared for anyone more in his life.


	22. Smooch

“Okay, my turn,” Taeyang announced, kicking his feet back and forth from where he sat on top of the washing machine. Youngkyun was leaning against the wall behind him, motioning for Taeyang to go ahead. “If you had the chance to be in the drama club in school when you were little, do you think you would have?”

 

“Oh, absolutely not,” Youngkyun stated with a snort, shaking his head while Taeyang laughed. “I can’t even imagine it,” he announced as he furrowed his brows with a smile, really trying to imagine himself as a drama kid. But he couldn’t get past the costumes and the horrifying possibility that he might have to sing. 

 

“Yeah, I can’t really imagine you as a drama kid either,” Taeyang agreed, motioning for Youngkyun to go.

 

“If I offered you ten thousand won, right now, to go run outside in nothing but your underwear and dive into the snow banks, would you do it?”

 

“Gross, no!” Taeyang declared with a laugh, tapping on the washer he sat on to get himself over the idea. “Do you even know how much dirt is shoved into those snow banks? People like, spit there; and dogs pee there. No, never.”

 

“Valid,” Youngkyun agreed, looking to Taeyang in impatient curiosity.

 

“Hmm, if you were born into a music family, do you think you would have been interested in musicals and plays, then?”

 

Youngkyun laughed, looking to Taeyang in disbelief with his arms cross. “Why are you so hung up on me being involved in the drama club!”

 

“Answer the question, Kyun,” Taeyang told him, folding his arms across his chest and waiting.

 

“I feel like music would have just begun to piss me off if I was always surrounded by it,” Youngkyun thought logically. “So, no, I don’t think I would,” he finished, sticking his tongue out at the older boy. “If you were born into a lower class family, do you think you still would have wanted to grow up to run a company?”

 

“Probably not,” Taeyang admitted with a short wheeze. “I mean, the job is boring as hell most of the time. I’m thinking, professional, sword fighting, dragon slayer, rock-star astronaut,” Taeyang stated, not even being able to make it through the full sentence before he exploded into laughter, curling over where he sat, laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.

 

“God, you are unbearable,” Youngkyun stated with a laugh, sliding down the wall so he could sit on the floor, leaning against it. His feet had grown a bit tired from standing and waiting for their laundry.

 

“Okay, if you had no other choice but to sing me a song, would you do it?”

 

“No!” Youngkyun said with a laugh, barely able to hold himself together. “Why do you want me to sing for you so badly?! What in the world gives you the impression that I can sing?”

 

“But I wanna hear it,” Taeyang whined with a small pout, looking down to his lap like a small child not getting what he wants. 

 

“No! Moving on,” Youngkyun decided with a short laugh and a wide smile. “Uh, if you… hmm. I’m running out of questions. Coming up with questions is hard!” Youngkyun complained, pouting. “Who invented this dumb game?”

 

“I did!” Taeyang stated with a laugh.

 

“Well your rules are dumb. Why does it have to be a yes or no question?”

 

“Because if it’s not, the game is like every other game ever. Would you rather, twenty questions, this or that- they’d all be the same,” Taeyang explained, looking so proud of himself as he did.

 

“Fine, fine, fine. If you had the opportunity to bang any person of your choosing, consensual of course, would you actually do it?”

 

“Oh, of course,” Taeyang agreed, moving his eyes up as if thinking.

 

“You have a person in mind,” Youngkyun noted with a sly smirk.

 

“No!” Taeyang denied quickly, shaking his head as his cheeks turned pink. “This isn’t part of the game. Next question.”

 

“Who is it?” Youngkyun asked, leaning forward in curiosity. “Do I know them?”

 

“I hate this,” Taeyang stated with a shake of his head. “No, nope, absolutely fricken not, no, I’m not answering!”

 

“This is so unfair,” Youngkyun stated with a pout, leaning back against the wall with crossed arms. “Do I at least know who the person is?”

 

Taeyang rolled his eyes, giving Youngkyun a blank stare. “Yes, you know who he is.”

 

“He!” Youngkyun announced happily, laughing at the embarrassed look on Taeyang’s face as he realized he gave away the gender. “Who is it? Who is it? Who is it?”

 

“My turn!” Taeyang announced quickly, not even giving Youngkyun a chance to object before diving into his question. “If you could be anything you wanted in the future, do you think you’d want to be something like an investigator?”

 

Youngkyun tilted his head in thought, pulling his legs up to rest his arms on them in front of him. The idea actually sounded pretty cool. Youngkyun would get to do what he was good at and what he loved for a living.

 

“I mean, I  _ do _ like investigating,” Youngkyun reasoned. “I’ve never given much thought to what I want to do, honestly, but I think that would be cool, yeah. I think it would fit me well,” Youngkyun said with a nod, looking to Taeyang with a smile. 

 

“You don’t get another question. Laundry is done,” Taeyang stated quickly, hopping off the machine to gather his clothes. 

 

“That’s not fair,” Youngkyun stated with a pout, pulling the door to his own machine open. 

 

Taeyang reached into his machine, pulling out his mask with a genuine smile on his face, hooking it over his ears to cover his face again. “It was nice while it lasted,” he commented, tilting his head with a cutesy smile at Youngkyun.

 

“Leave it off for now, if you want,” Youngkyun said with a shrug. “It’s been two weeks since you’ve decided you wanted to wear it less. Let’s go all the way back to the hotel without it.”

 

“Are you sure?” Taeyang asked with wide eyes, moving his hands to his ears and practically ripping the mask away from his face.

 

Youngkyun thought it was cute how he didn’t want to hide himself or wear the mask. The way he looked at Youngkyun, like he needed his approval not to wear something he didn’t want to wear, made him feel a bit bad though. 

 

“I’m sure,” Youngkyun agreed, pulling his clothes into his bag. “But you should wear it when we go out for drinks with Yongchul, tonight,” he suggested. “There will be a lot of people there.”

 

“Okay!” Taeyang agreed happily, bouncing up and down as he discarded his mask in the pile of his clothes.

 

↔

 

“This is a nice place,” Youngkyun complimented, looking around the bar.

 

Yongchul had chosen a nice place, dimmed lights and themed with dark red and spruce wood tables and floors. The table they had chosen was in the back, cornered between a wall to Youngkyun’s left and plenty of other occupied tables to his right. Everyone minded their own business, listening to the music play around them and laughing at everyone’s jokes. The baristas at the counter were all nice, smiling around them and talking to the customers. Waiters walked around with baskets of french fries and other side dishes. It was very American themed, but Youngkyun liked the friendly atmosphere. 

 

Taeyang, who was sitting facing the corner with his back to everybody else, had even felt comfortable enough to pull his mask down, only covering his chin so he could talk more clearly without yelling through the noise and his mask.

 

“This doesn’t seem like the type of place you would find in Suwon, though,” Taeyang commented, fiddling around with the menu in his hands just for some form of entertainment. “Like, maybe Incheon or Seoul.”

 

“Yeah, but that’s what makes it even better. It’s like Suwon’s little secret,” Yongchul explained. “That’s why it’s so popular. Most regulars here know each other, because the restaurant isn’t really advertised to other places.”

 

“That’s actually pretty cool,” Youngkyun said with a small smile. “Makes it feel even cozier.”

 

“Makes it feel more secluded,” Yongchul retorted, pointing briefly between Youngkyun and Taeyang. “Less people to know you.”

 

“Good point,” Youngkyun agreed, turning to Taeyang and pulling his mask down just a bit more, so it wasn’t trying to force its way between his lips.

 

“Okay, but while we’re here, buddy, you gotta help me out,” Yongchul said, turning to Taeyang. “I have to call you  _ something. _ ”

 

“Ky- Hwiyoung, pick a name for me. God, I really hate calling you that,” Taeyang said, shaking his head as he almost messed the name up again.

 

Youngkyun shrugged. “We have a backup plan for Hwiyoung if I get caught. It would be too much of a risk to use any other name,” he explained apologetically. “Uh… I don’t know. You want me to just pick a new name for you? I’d forget it.”

 

“What’s the first letter?” Yongchul asked. “I can just call him by the letter.”

 

“T,” Taeyang stated with a small smile, looking to Youngkyun like a happy child. “You can just call me T.”

 

“Perfect, and we can just refer to Hwiyoung as ‘K’ if that makes it easier for you?” Yongchul suggested, raising an eyebrow as the waiter came back with soju and waters. It was funny, because nobody has asked for an ID when they walked in or ordered alcohol. Youngkyun wasn’t about to question why, though.

 

“Why do you assume my name begins with a K?” Youngkyun asked, reaching for his water and taking a small sip. 

 

“Because T keeps messing up,” Yongchul said with a small giggle as Taeyang pouted, reaching for his water and copying Youngkyun.

 

“Fine, fine,” Youngkyun agreed. “Hwiyoung or K works.”

 

“Great,” Yongchul said with a small clap of his hands. “So, have either of you ever had soju before?”

 

“Yes,” Taeyang said with a nod.

 

“No…”

 

Yongchul turned to Youngkyun with a gape, pulling the cap off a bottle and pouring it into a small shot glass. He passed it towards Youngkyun, waiting for him to drink from it.

 

“And don’t you dare turn away while you drink and pull that etiquette bullshit. I don’t care if you’re the youngest, I wanna see your reaction.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, reaching for the cup and bringing it up to his lips. The cold glass of the cup barely touched his lips when he stopped, his hand freezing in the motion. It was like the thought that he was drinking for the first time really just settled in his mind. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Taeyang asked, moving his hand and gently pulling the cup from Youngkyun’s hands.

 

“I just...” Youngkyun couldn’t seem to string the words together as Taeyang placed the cup down in front of him. “I don’t mean to make the mood bad,” he said with a shake of his head, staring at the cup. “I just always said I would have my first drink with Chanhee.”

 

Taeyang sighed in a sweet way, reaching over to grab his hand to lightly massage the back.

 

“Chanhee?” Yongchul asked, looking to Taeyang.

 

“He’s my best friend,” Youngkyun told him, sighing as he looked down to the cup of soju again. “I haven’t seen him in almost two months now.”

 

“Oh… I’m so sorry,” Yongchul said, pouting at the thought. “Does he know you’re okay?”

 

“If he got the letter I sent,” Youngkyun stated, thinking about everything that could have gone wrong with the letter. “But that was two weeks ago. I have no idea what’s going on, how he is, or what he’s been doing.”

 

“Maybe you’ll be able to go back and see him soon,” Yongchul encouraged with a nod. “I bet he misses you.”

 

“I miss him,” Youngkyun stated, reaching for the cup without hesitation and throwing the drink back into his mouth. He cringed as he swallowed it, placing the cup back on the table. “That’s sweet,” he commented, licking his lips with slitted eyes. “Very sweet.”

 

Taeyang scoffed in a laugh, nodding before pouring Youngkyun another one. He poured himself one, pouring one for Yongchul as well.

 

“To us,” Taeyang said, raising his cup up. Yongchul raised his up quickly, and Youngkyun followed, wiping his lips as he did. He drank the next cup easily, finding the taste a bit more bearable. 

 

It didn’t take long before there were already three empty bottles in the middle of the table and freshly filled glasses for everyone. Yongchul tapped on the table, hair a bit messier than it had been an hour ago, and his eyes a bit less focused.

 

“Okay, okay,” he continued, speech a bit slurred. His head moved around as he spoke, like he was rocking around. “Most likely to run through a park naked when they get too drunk,” he stated, counting down from three. Youngkyun didn’t even have to put effort into the thought, pointing at Yongchul immediately. Taeyang seemed to have the same idea, and even Yongchul voted for himself with a bubbly laugh, reaching for his cup and downing the shot. “Okay, that was a bad one.”

 

“Least likely to kill the spider in the room?” Taeyang asked with a small smile. “Three, two…” Everyone pointed to Yongchul. Taeyang smiled, filling the boy’s glass again so he could swallow it with a pout.

 

“No fucking wonder you guys seem fine,” he stated with a hiccup. “You guys keep teaming up against me.”

 

“You just keep losing,” Youngkyun commented with a lighthearted laugh, picked up by whatever feeling had been settling in his chest and mind for the past twenty minutes now. “What about most likely to blow all their money in a casino? Three, two…”

 

Yongchul gaped at the two boys as all but one hand was pointed in his direction. Youngkyun was offended to have Yongchul’s vote. 

 

“This is so unfair,” Yongchul said with a pout, accepting the drink Taeyang poured him and throwing it back. “So unfair. Okay! How about this one? I got one. I’ll get one of you this time. Most likely to kiss K? Three, two…”

 

Yongchul couldn’t hold back his laughter as all hands were pointed to Taeyang; except Taeyang, of course, who was still in too much shock from the question to vote.

 

“That was so unfair.”

 

Yongchul giggled, hiccuping as he did. “But I got you, didn’t I?”

 

Youngkyun laughed with him, reaching for the bottle with both hands and pouring the drink for Taeyang, winking as the boy accepted his loss. 

 

“Fine, fine. Most likely to have sex for money? Three, two…”

 

Taeyang had pointed to Yongchul, who had pointed to Taeyang. But Youngkyun raised his own hand with a laugh, sending the whole table into hysterics. 

 

“What?! No way,” Taeyang denied, reaching up to pull his hand down. “No way.”

 

“If I can kiss you to get out of a conversation, I can have sex for money,” Youngkyun defended. “Of course, I don’t think I ever would, but out of the three of us, probably me,” he reasoned.

 

“So you two  _ have _ kissed before!” Yongchul announced proudly, doing a little cheer to himself as he put two and two together. 

 

“No drinks for that round!” Youngkyun decided, ignoring Yongchul dance of happiness. “Most likely to-”

 

“Wait,” Yongchul interrupted, slurring his words as he leaned closer to the two of them. “Does this mean you two  _ are _ a couple?”

 

“No,” Youngkyun denied with a laugh and a roll of his eyes while Taeyang shook his head.

 

“But you did the smooch.”

 

“If that’s how you want to put it, sure,” Youngkyun agreed, laughing as he did. “But that doesn’t make us a couple.”

 

“No, but Hwiyoung. You… you did- you  _ did _ the smooch.”

 

Taeyang couldn’t hold himself together anymore, leaning his head onto the table as he broke into laughter, snickering to himself and doing his best to hide it. 

 

“You did do the smooch,” Taeyang told Youngkyun, barely able to get his words out without succumbing to laughter again. “You sta- started it,” he said through his laughs.

 

“I didn’t shove my tongue down your throat, though!” Youngkyun defended, narrowing his eyes at Taeyang.

 

“Oh, so T  _ also _ did the smooch,” Yongchul noted, tilting his head to the side enough to tip his entire body to the side. He caught himself by resting his arm and head on the table, practically hiding himself behind the bottles. “But T did- he did the smooch smooch. He didn’t just smooch. He  _ smooched. _ ”

 

“I think he’s done,” Youngkyun said to Taeyang, leaning towards the boy as he tried to hold back his laugh. “We should pay and bring him home.”

 

“Good idea,” Taeyang agreed, standing up from his chair and pulling his mask up. He motioned for Youngkyun to get the bottles while he went to help Yongchul up. Taeyang had had the least amount of shots, so it was reasonable. 

 

Youngkyun grabbed as many of the bottles as he could, making sure to leave the place nice and neat for the people who worked there. He threw away their napkins and trash, running to get the door as Taeyang helped Yongchul out.

 

They managed to shove him in the backseat, Yongchul apparently growing too tired to remember how to sit right. Youngkyun shoved himself in the back seat with him, leaving Taeyang in the front seat to drive.

 

“Are you awake enough to give us directions?” Youngkyun asked, laughing as Yongchul head fell to his shoulder.

 

“Seodun-ro,” Yongchul mumbled.

 

“Take a right up here,” Youngkyun directed Taeyang, hoping he knew where he was going. 

 

“That was fun,” Taeyang commented quietly, taking the turn Youngkyun had told him. “I mean, I’ve drank before with Seokwoo and my dad, to do toasts at meetings and fancy parties, but it’s never fun. It’s just bitter alcohol. That was fun.”

 

“I think that’s what normal people do when they drink,” Youngkyun stated, feeling his eyes begin to droop a bit as he listened to the hum of the engine. The radio was off, and the inside of the car was dark. It was actually nice and warm inside, too. “Left up here.”

 

“I’ve never had that much fun just… sitting around before. It was like when we went to get hanwoo with Chanhee,” Taeyang continued, taking the turn.

 

“Chanhee and I have never drank, though,” Youngkyun mumbled, deciding it wouldn’t hurt anyone if he laid his head on the window. He would keep his eyes open. “We were always out, and it just became a regular thing.”

 

“I want this to become a regular thing,” Taeyang spoke up. “I like this life. I like living like this- I mean, not like criminals- but like normal people. I like going out just to play drinking games, and I like picking you up from work and doing my own shopping. It’s fun. I like it.”

 

“I like it, too,” Youngkyun commented, eyes falling a bit.

 

“Where do I go?” Taeyang asked.

 

“Straight, straight, left at the big building with all the windows, and a right,” Youngkyun told him, knowing his eyes were falling closed.

 

“Go to sleep,” Taeyang told him gently. Youngkyun didn’t even get a chance to respond, eyes fluttering closed and mind collapsing into darkness.

 

↔

 

“Next time Yongchul wants to go out for drinks, remind me to tell him no,” Youngkyun demanded, pressing his hand to his forehead and sighing at the annoying headache banging at his head. 

 

“That’s a hangover,” Taeyang said with a small giggle, pushing the shopping cart in front of him. 

 

“I know what it is,” Youngkyun said with a pout. “I’m just mad I have it.”

 

“I can’t imagine how Yongchul is doing,” Taeyang said with a short laugh. Youngkyun couldn’t help but join in, cringing at the pain the poor boy was probably going through. Youngkyun had a feeling his headache was probably because he had never drank before, but Yongchul downed probably two bottles from what they ordered.

 

“Good thing you don’t have to work today,” Taeyang added, grabbing something off the shelves Youngkyun didn’t care enough to look at. “That would suck.”

 

“I never would have drank,” Youngkyun stated, sticking his tongue out at Taeyang. “I’m responsible.”

 

“You just drank under the age of nineteen. That’s not responsible,” Taeyang pointed out, grabbing Youngkyun’s shoulder to steer him down the aisle with him. Youngkyun hadn’t even noticed he wasn’t paying attention.

 

“Okay, but you’re not nineteen yet, either,” Youngkyun pointed out. “And this wasn’t even the first time you’ve drank.”

 

“Okay, maybe let’s not discuss our crimes in a public store,” Taeyang suggested with a laugh, adjusting the mask on his face. It sat on his chin again, leaving his mouth and nose uncovered. “Did you sleep good last night, at least?”

 

“Ugh, blacked out,” Youngkyun said with a smile, reveling in the feeling of his peaceful sleep.

 

“Okay, wait, but don’t start-”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “I won’t start drinking to put myself to sleep. The headache in the morning isn’t worth it and I prefer my judgement unimpaired.”

 

“Okay, good,” Taeyang said with a sigh of relief. 

 

“Holy shit-”

 

Youngkyun looked up to his side quickly, eyes going wide as he found a brown haired boy, frozen in his spot as he looked at them, or more specifically, Taeyang.

 

“Hi,” Youngkyun said, reaching back and motioning for Taeyang to pull up his mask. “Is there something we can help you with?”

 

“You’re Yoo Taeyang.”


	23. Death is Hard to Handle Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please check the tags and warnings on this story before reading this chapter! Otherwise, enjoy!

“You’re Yoo Taeyang.”

 

“No, he’s not,” Youngkyun denied quickly, keeping his eyes completely focused on the boy in front of him. “Yoo Taeyang is dead.” He had fluffy brown hair and round cheeks. He couldn’t have been that much older than the two of them, which Youngkyun hoped meant he didn’t work for FNC. But then again, Seokwoo worked for FNC, and he wasn’t much older than them.

 

“But you’re- you’re Yoo Taeyang,” the boy continued, like he was absolutely sure but didn’t know how it was possible. 

 

“I just told you, he’s not,” Youngkyun defended, not daring to move on until he had the boy convinced. He didn’t need someone telling on them.

 

“I’m sure he is,” the boy said, looking past Youngkyun to Taeyang, who had his head angled down as much as he could. “I did an article on you,” he explained, reaching into his pocket and pulling out an ID. Youngkyun stepped forward quickly, taking it from him and looking it over. “I’m a reporter. I did an article all about you when you went missing.”

 

“Fuck,” Youngkyun mumbled, shoving the ID back into the boy’s hands and rushing back to Taeyang’s side. He didn’t move his eyes from the boy, making sure he didn’t leave. “Can you handle paying without getting caught?”

 

“Yeah,” Taeyang stated, making sure his mask was tucked above his nose.

 

“Mask up,” Youngkyun reminded him. “Meet me outside behind the building,” Youngkyun told him simply, walking over to the boy and taking his hand-held shopping basket from him. He placed it lightly on the display of snacks beside him and grabbed his wrist, pulling him along as he moved towards the doors. The boy didn’t seem to fight back, rather he just kind of let Youngkyun drag him. 

 

He brought the boy outside, releasing his wrist quickly to zip up his coat. It wasn't snowing now, and the air was warmer than it had been all week, but it was still cold. 

 

“Who are you?”

 

“Who are  _ you _ ?” Youngkyun challenged in return, raising an eyebrow as he stuck his hands in his pocket. He had this boy cornered up against the wall. If he tried to run, Youngkyun would catch him. 

 

“Kim Youngbin!” The boy said, eyes still wide. “I- I’m a reporter-”

 

“And you live in Suwon?”

 

“I live in Anyang,” Youngbin told him. “I- I’m visiting. I have family here.”

 

“Do you work for FNC?” Youngkyun questioned, not even bothering to make himself seem nice. He didn’t sugar coat any questions, only feeling a pang of guilt at how shocked Youngbin looked. 

 

“What? No,” he told him, looking genuinely confused. “Do you need someone who does? I can-”

 

“Don’t,” Youngkyun threatened, taking a step forward. Youngbin closed his mouth, freezing in his spot as Youngkyun leaned towards him. “Don’t call anyone.”

 

“Okay,” Youngbin agreed with a nervous nod. “I won’t call anyone.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, taking a step back and looking around to the corner of the store as Taeyang appeared, running over quickly with his hands in his pockets. He had a hat tucked over his head now, mask pulled up completely.

 

“You’re definitely Yoo Taeyang.”

 

“No shit,” Taeyang mumbled, coming up to Youngkyun’s side. “What’s your name?”

 

“Youngbin,” the boy told him. “Kim Youngbin.”

 

“How much do you know?”

 

Youngbin gulped. “I know your father resigned from the CEO position before you went missing. I did a whole article about you. You were the heir, and you were set to inherit everything, and then you just vanished. And then, a month later, the police said they found your body in a lake-”

 

“Was it the police?” Taeyang asked, tilting his head. “Who  _ exactly _ found my body, reported it, and confirmed it as me?”

 

“The police were scanning the lake for a body,” Youngbin explained quickly. “Some girl had jumped from the bridge the day before, but they found your body instead. They said it had been in there for about a month.”

 

“Who identified it?” Taeyang asked, stepping closer

 

“Does it matter?” Youngkyun mumbled, looking up to Taeyang.

 

“So we can know what they’re trying to do,” Taeyang mumbled back.

 

“I don’t know,” Youngbin answered honestly. “I don’t remember any of the-”

 

“Kim Seokwoo. Baek Cheolmin. Hwang Kinam. Do any of those names sound familiar?” Taeyang asked, listing the small amount of people they knew were involved. The reminder of how small their list really was, was disappointing. 

 

“I- I don’t know,” Youngbin said honestly. “I have my references, though! I save all my work and research, so if you want I can-”

 

“Where is it?” Youngkyun asked, cutting him off. 

 

“At my office,” Youngbin told them.

 

Youngkyun turned to Taeyang. “Is this really so important that we want to risk bringing him to his office? That place is full of surveillance and reporters. We would either be waiting outside, or Youngbin would know where to meet us. That’s a  _ huge _ risk,” Youngkyun reminded him. “Is this so important?”

 

“If it’s the police, then FNC thinks I’m dead. If it’s FNC, they know I’m not. If it’s Seokwoo, then he’s a dumbass. Who identified the body can tell us a lot.”

 

“It’s a risk, though,” Youngkyun told him, his eyes flickering back to Youngbin quickly.

 

“So was following Seokwoo back at Insik’s apartment,” Taeyang spoke, looking to Youngkyun with a look he couldn’t quite read. “But that was your idea.”

 

“We weren’t on the run, then,” Youngkyun pointed out.

 

“Remember how I said finding my dad would take time?” he whispered. “We had to give it time, and something would pop up? It’s been two weeks, what if this is something huge? We didn’t think visiting Insik would turn into something huge, but it did,” Taeyang mentioned, tilting his head like he was waiting for Youngkyun to cave.

 

“Fine,” he mumbled after a short pause, walking up to Youngbin. He kept walking until he was standing directly in front of the boy. “You said you can tell us who identified the body?”

 

“Yes,” Youngbin said with a nod. “And if I don’t have the files, I can call someone and say I’m doing a follow-up article.”

 

“You can’t tell anyone,” Youngkyun told him. “Nobody can know Taeyang and I are here, or that he’s even alive. It has to remain a secret. This isn’t a game. We’re staying hidden like this for a good reason.”

 

Youngbin nodded. “I believe you. Honestly, you both look so stressed. I wouldn’t dare turn you both in. If you fake your own death, or it gets all mixed up, whatever, I have to believe that’s for something more than a joke, right?”

 

Youngkyun nodded, feeling relieved that Youngbin really felt that way.

 

“If you don’t believe me, you can come into my office with me. I have no idea who you are, and I did the focus article. If I don’t know you, nobody else will. You can come in with me so you can make sure I don’t tell anyone.”

 

“If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate that,” Youngkyun agreed with a nod. “Thank you, Youngbin.”

 

↔

 

The ride was only about twenty minutes with traffic, thankfully. Taeyang sat in the back seat, keeping his head low the whole time. Youngkyun drove, taking directions from Youngbin to his office. Honestly, Anyang looked a lot nicer than Suwon, and Youngkyun was almost mad they hadn’t decided on this district to stay in, but then again, if Youngbin knew Taeyang, there was the possibility of others knowing him as well.

 

“We’re here,” Youngbin told him, pointing to a building that stuck up like a tower. Youngkyun pulled into the parking lot, making sure they weren’t directly near any other cars. 

 

“Keep your head low,” Youngkyun told Taeyang, turning around in his seat to see him. “It won’t take long. If you can, huddle down in the back seat to make the car look empty. We don’t want a single other reporter looking in your direction.”

 

Taeyang nodded, looking down at his lap.

 

“Hey,” Youngkyun said, reaching his hand back for Taeyang’s. The boy looked confused for a second, before hesitantly reaching his hand up to place it in Youngkyun’s. Youngkyun held his hand tightly, like a comfort. “It’s okay,” he told him quietly. “Just because we got caught doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. Stay hidden in the back for now. When we get back to Suwon, we’ll stop at the store and get ramen and spend the rest of the day in our room, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Taeyang said with a quiet nod. “I just feel bad that you have to do all this for me,” he mumbled. “You shouldn’t have to get dragged into this mess.”

 

“I’m okay,” Youngkyun told him, giving him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about me.”

 

Taeyang nodded, not looking up to meet his eyes.

 

“I’ll be back, I promise,” Youngkyun told him, giving his hand one more squeeze before dropping it, pushing himself out of the car and locking it, leaving the windows open just a bit at the tops for Taeyang. He wouldn’t be long.

 

“You and him are close,” Youngbin observed, leading them through the front doors. “Have you been with him through this whole mess?”

 

“How do you know it’s a mess?” Youngkyun asked, raising his eyebrow at the boy as he pressed the button for the elevator. 

 

“I can tell,” Youngbin said with a shrug. “It looks like a mess to me.”

 

“Yeah, I’ve been with him the whole time,” Youngkyun told him. “Or most of it, at least.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Youngbin apologized, leading Youngkyun into the elevator as it opened. He pressed the button for the fifth floor and waited. “I shouldn’t have called you two out like that. I mean, with the mask and all, I think it was pretty obvious you guys didn’t want to be found.”

 

“Anyone would have done it,” Youngkyun said with a shrug. “Thank god you’re the only one, though.”

 

Youngbin lead him through the floor to his desk which was piled high with papers and folders. He moved some of them aside, moving down to the filing cabinet beside it with a small key in hand. He thumbed through the top drawer until he found what he was looking for, pulling out a small manila folder.

 

“Take notes, my files can’t leave the office,” Youngbin told him.

 

Youngkyun reached for the pad of paper on Youngbin’s desk, sifting through papers until he was able to find a pen. “Go.”

 

“The person who identified the body is named Baek Juho. He’s the son-”

 

“I know who he is,” Youngkyun grumbled, writing down the name and looking up to Youngbin for more. “What else do you have in there? What names do you have?”

 

“You said Cheolmin?”

 

“What do you have on Cheolmin?” Youngkyun asked with raised eyebrows.

 

“New CEO, blah, blah, blah. His personal life, his son.”

 

“What do you have in there that you didn’t get from the internet?” Youngkyun asked, clicking the pen in his hand. “Like, you said you had contacts, right? Who did you call?”

 

“Oh, okay, okay, here we go,” Youngbin said, turning the papers over in his folder. “Baek Cheolmin was suspected for a drug case back in 2013, but it was covered up by the police and the company. That kind of stuff?”

 

“Where the hell did you find this gold?” Youngkyun asked, leaning over to Youngbin to look into the file. 

 

“Dark net,” Youngbin said with a wink. “Joking, joking. I have connections with a police friend of mine. He gave me the file on the case. I didn’t publish it, obviously.”

 

“Can you photocopy this for me?”

 

“Yeah,” Youngbin said, leading Youngkyun with him to a small room so he could copy the paper. “What about Cheolmin’s position pre-CEO?”

 

“I’m all ears,” Youngkyun said, getting the pen ready.

 

“Baek Cheolmin was Yoo Haeseong’s personal advisory,” he whispered, pulling the paper out of the photocopier and handing it to Youngkyun. “The thing was, though, that his job was more like doing everything Haeseong couldn’t, I guess, because Haeseong never took his advice, I’ve heard.”

 

“Good to know,” Youngkyun said, writing it all down. “Other names?”

 

“Uhh…” Youngbin drew out as he fingers through his papers. “Okay. Lee Jaejin, Hwang Kinam, Park Hongdo, Choi Jintaek, Jung Kiyoung, and Kim Jungoh, all visited the police after the body was discovered.”

 

“Who are they?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“Lee Jaejin is a manager. Kinam is an executive. Hongdo is an executive like, directly under Haeseong and Cheolmin. Jintaek is a manager. Kiyoung is a secretary to Cheolmin. And Jungoh is an executive on Kinam’s level.”

 

“So they’re all high up,” Youngkyun put together with a roll of his eyes.

 

“Yeah, pretty much,” Youngbin confirmed, flipping through his papers. “Kinam and Jintaek kept returning to the police. Kinam is also friends with the police chief, so I don’t know if that counts for anything.”

 

“Why do you know so many of the illegal things that go on?” Youngkyun asked with a snort, writing down the names.

 

“Because my friend is a police officer,” Youngbin reminded him with a laugh. “He tells me things, and I work with him on cases I’m not supposed to be involved in. I keep all the notes, but I never publish anything.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, fighting back the small smile he felt coming on. He liked the way Youngbin knew things, like he did. 

 

“Is Kim Seokwoo in your notes at all?”

 

“No,” Youngbin said with a shake of his head and an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologize,” Youngkyun told him. “You’ve given us a shit ton to work with.”

 

↔

 

“We’re back,” Youngkyun announced, jumping in the back seat with Taeyang as Youngbin got in the driver’s seat. “Guess who identified your body,” Youngkyun demanded.

 

“Seokwoo?” Taeyang asked, pushing himself to a sitting position.

 

“Baek Juho,” Youngkyun told him, scoffing to himself as he did.

 

“Why would  _ he _ identify my body?” Taeyang asked. 

 

“He went to school with you,” Youngkyun reminded him with a shrug. “Maybe he thought it was actually you.”

 

“What if his dad made him lie, though?” Taeyang proposed. “Like, they both knew it wasn’t me?”

 

“It doesn’t make sense,” Youngkyun pointed out. “And it’s been weeks. I can’t think of a good reason they would have for getting the public off your case.”

 

“I fucking hate this,” Taeyang said with a sigh. “Thank you, Youngbin.”

 

“No problem,” Youngbin said with a smile in the rear view mirror.

 

“Hey, Youngbin,” Youngkyun called, leaning over the passenger seat. “If we ever need a reporter, we’ll come to you first. When this all blows over, we’ll come to you if we decide to tell our story,” he promised with a smile.

 

“I’d appreciate that,” Youngbin responded, his cheeks puffing out in a smile. “Oh, yeah, I forgot one other thing,” Youngbin told them, turning down a road back to Suwon.

 

“Something not in your notes?”

 

“I was too scared to put it in my notes,” Youngbin admitted sheepishly. “When Cheolmin became CEO, our company put out an article about the mysterious circumstances surrounding it. It was to grab the reader’s attention, obviously, and it got a lot of clicks, too, so we didn’t really see anything bad about it. But then, about four days after the article was posted, this guy came in to our office. Nobody saw him come in, so we were all freaking the fuck out, right?” Youngbin explained, telling his story as he continued to drive. “So, this guy mentions the article and asked who wrote it, and literally nobody was willing to give up my name, so the guy just said ‘fuck it’ and threatened us to take it down. He told us to never write anything on the subject again, or there would be consequences.”

 

“Consequences?” Youngkyun asked, turning to Taeyang with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Yeah. He didn’t really elaborate, but we were all scared shitless. So we took the article down and let it be. He kept mumbling about how he didn’t want to be there, and how it wasn’t his job. I think he was on something.”

 

“Did you get his name?” Youngkyun asked, leaning forward a bit.

 

“Yeah. Said his name was Jaejoong.”

 

↔

 

“Jaejoong,” Youngkyun scoffed in disbelief, discarding his coat onto the floor of their hotel lazily. “That mother fucker.”

 

“I mean… maybe it doesn’t-”

 

“No,” Youngkyun snapped as Taeyang shut the door lightly. “No, I went to him two weeks before Cheolmin became CEO, and I told him to tell me everything he knew. Jaejoong doesn’t just get dragged into useless shit, he’s obviously involved in it, but didn’t tell me.”

 

“What about Insik?” Taeyang asked, pulling his coat off and hanging it neatly on the hook. “He told you about him.”

 

“Let’s be honest,” Youngkyun suggested, turning to meet his eyes. “Insik was a dead end. All we learned from that was that Seokwoo and Cheolmin were involved, which we never would have known if we hadn’t been there at that exact time.” Youngkyun sighed, scuffing his shoes on the ground as he walked, nearly pacing. “Jaejoong gave us information that wouldn’t lead us anywhere. He didn’t help us, he misdirected us.”

 

“But we got this far,” Taeyang reminded him.

 

“Because of us, not because of any help of his,” Youngkyun bit back. “Well great! Now, not only is Seokwoo involved, but Jaejoong is too! Seems like everyone is just out to get us, how great!”

 

“I fucking hate him,” Taeyang commented, making his way over towards his bed and sitting gingerly on the edge of it. “Jaejoong hasn’t done a single thing to make me like him.”

 

“He’s not a likable person,” Youngkyun agreed. “That’s why they probably sent him to deal with the article. He’s the stereotypical druggie nobody wants to deal with.”

 

Taeyang shook his head, looking up to Youngkyun. “He’s not invited to my birthday party.”

 

Youngkyun couldn’t help it. He laughed. He immediately covered his mouth and his smile, but Taeyang had already seen it with a small smile of his own plastered on his lips.

 

“Fuck you,” Youngkyun mumbled, turning away. “Turn on the news,” he told him, picking up the remote and tossing it to Taeyang. “I want to make sure Youngbin kept his word.”

 

“I trust him,” Taeyang decided, catching the remote and pressing the power button. 

 

“So do I, but obviously people are untrustworthy shitbags,” Youngkyun said with a snort, crossing his arms as he focused on the TV screen.

 

The TV turned on to some cooking channel, so Taeyang started flipping through the channels, looking for their news station.

 

“Many people have sent complaints to the police, signing petitions against the chief for withholding evidence.”

 

Youngkyun moved forward, taking the remote from Taeyang and turning up the volume before Taeyang even had the chance to.

 

“What do you think this is about?” he asked, leaning back to his spot. Taeyang just shrugged.

 

The screen flickered to the chief of police, standing at his podium in front of dozens of reporters and flashing cameras. “We work to protect the people!” he claimed, gazing out at the crowd in front of him with a look of disbelief and saddened shock. “We would never withhold evidence from an investigation this large, or any investigation at all!”

 

The screen flashed back to the female reporter, standing in front of a green screen with a video of protesters outside of the police station, holding signs that were moving too fast for either of them to read. 

 

“The police have claimed no knowledge of the video’s existence, while residents of Seoul argue the video was turned in with the purpose to frame the police.”

 

“It’s not like they don’t deserve it, though,” Youngkyun mumbled, crossing his arms across his chest.

 

“But what’s the video they’re talking about?” Taeyang asked, leaning forward. 

 

“We have permission to show the video here, but be mindful of the images of violence,” the reporter warned as the video flashed onto screen. There was a man tied to a chair, hands behind his back with his head down. A man stood in front of him, back cap and mask covering his face.

 

Without warning, the man lunged forward, throwing his fist at the man’s face endlessly, until blood was dripping from his mouth, clear even through the blurry video.

 

“Wait a second,” Taeyang said, standing up without taking his eyes away from the screen. His eyes focused on the video, following the man tied to the chair with a glazed look in his eyes. He stepped toward the screen. “I know him.”

 

“Who? The guy getting the shit beaten out of him?” Youngkyun asked, looking quickly from Taeyang to the screen again.

 

“I- I swear I know him,” Taeyang mumbled, trying to see through the fuzz of the video. Through the dark lighting, the quality of the video, and the way the victim held his head down, Youngkyun was honestly shocked Taeyang could even see a single feature in his face. "I definitely know him."

 

“The victim in the video was revealed to be Yoo Haeseong, former CEO of FNC. His body was found hours ago, in a privately rented storage garage in Gangdong.”

 

Youngkyun couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped his throat, his hands rushing to cover his mouth as he looked to Taeyang. Taeyang took an unsteady step back immediately, repelled by the news. His weak footing failed him, and he tripped over the edge of the bed and fell to the ground with a loud crash, his eyes unwavering from the screen. His eyes started tearing up, tears dropping down his cheeks as his eyes refused to remove themselves from the screen.

 

Youngkyun knew he should grab the remote and turn the TV off, or that he should go help Taeyang, but he couldn’t seem to move. He felt frozen in his spot, unable to move in either direction.

 

“People were outraged to find this. Some are convinced Yoo Haeseong’s murder is related to the apparent death of his son, Yoo Taeyang. People have begun to suspect the-”

 

“Turn it off,” Taeyang rasped out, unable to move. 

 

Youngkyun didn’t waste another second, pulling himself out of his trance and rushing to the TV remote, pressing the power button so hard he could feel his finger go numb.

 

“Taeyang are you-”

 

Youngkyun couldn’t even get the words through his throat, feeling like he could choke on his own words if he kept talking.

 

Taeyang sat in front of him on the floor with tears streaming down his face which held nothing  but an empty expression. He had a look like he had something to say but he couldn’t put it into words. 

 

Youngkyun bit on his lip, taking a step forward. “Taeyang-”

 

“Don’t touch me,” Taeyang snapped, another tear dripping down his cheek. Taeyang couldn’t even seem to face him, his eyes flickering to one area on the floor to another, like he wasn’t even really seeing anything. “Don’t even come close to me,” he continued, gritting his teeth together.

 

Youngkyun felt a tear drip down his cheek, watching Taeyang stare into space like there was nothing there. He knew Taeyang would just be replaying that video in his head, every detail ingraining itself into his brain until it was all he could see when he closed his eyes. 

 

“Taeyang-”

 

“I was dumb enough to think everything was okay,” Taeyang mumbled to himself, another tear falling into his lap. “I- I was- I thought I could be happy. How could I? How could I think that when he was- he- when he’s-”

 

“Please don’t do this to yourself,” Youngkyun choked out, another tear falling down his cheek as he watched them cascade down Taeyang’s cheeks. “You can’t-”

 

“I can’t what?!” Taeyang asked, finally turning to Youngkyun with bared teeth and a lost look in his eyes. “Say it Youngkyun!” 

 

“I didn’t-”

 

“I can’t protect my own family? I can’t do anything right? I couldn’t even figure it out on my own?!” 

 

Youngkyun closed his eyes shut as tightly as he could, feeling the tears fall from his cheeks to the floor as he tried to compose himself. “You can’t blame yourself.”

 

“The hell I can’t,” Taeyang bit back, pushing himself up with a glare so hard, Youngkyun could feel it breaking himself apart. “I blame myself. I blame Cheolmin. I blame Seokwoo. I blame Jaejoong. I blame every fucking person who knew! I blame them all because they did this to him. They did this to him!” Taeyang screamed, his voice ripping at his throat as he yelled. “Move out of my way.” Taeyang pushed himself to his feet, looking past Youngkyun.

 

“No, Taeyang, wait!” Youngkyun called, stepping in front of him and blocking his way to the door. Taeyang stood in front of him, glaring through him like he meant nothing to him. Youngkyun didn’t matter to him right now, and he knew that even though it hurt. 

 

“Youngkyun. Move.”

 

“If you go to Cheolmin now they’ll-”

 

“What?! They’ll kill me too?!” Taeyang screamed, moving towards to door only to be pushed back by Youngkyun. “I don’t fucking care.”

 

“Well I do!” Youngkyun screamed at him, moving his hands out and holding Taeyang back from the door. Taeyang continued to push against him, pushing at his arms until he was sure there were going to be bruises on them. “Taeyang, stop!” he screamed.

 

“Move the fuck out of my way!” Taeyang yelled at him, his glare beating down on him. Youngkyun felt his heart beat rise as Taeyang yelled at him, but he tried to ignore it. 

 

“They’ll kill you!” Youngkyun screamed at him again. “How the fuck are you supposed to avenge your dad if you’re fucking dead?!” 

 

Taeyang pushed against him again, and Youngkyun really wasn’t seeing another option. With one swift shove, Youngkyun pushed Taeyang back, gasping for breath as Taeyang tumbled to the ground, glaring up at Youngkyun like he was a monster.

 

“I can’t let you go,” Youngkyun pleaded with a small shake of his head. “I know-”

 

“What do you know?!” Taeyang yelled, baring his teeth as the tears continued to fall. His eyes had burned bright red now, his lips pulling back as he raised his voice. “Have you  _ ever _ had to go through what I’m going through?!”

 

“Watch it,” Youngkyun warned, his voice turning low as he pushed any thoughts of his own parents away. It wasn’t the same situation, but Taeyang wasn’t the only one that had ever had to deal with death before.

 

“You watch it,” Taeyang shoved back in his face. “What fucking right to do you have to stop me from going to Cheolmin right now and shooting him in the goddamn head?”

 

“That’s not funny,” Youngkyun told him, nails digging into his palm as he tried to calm himself down. He could feel the tears building up in his eyes again, his blood pressure rising and his heart beating faster and faster. 

 

“None of this is  _ funny _ !” Taeyang yelled at him, glaring up at him from the floor. “You think I wouldn’t?”

 

“You’d be as bad as Cheolmin,” Youngkyun challenged, biting on his lip as he said it.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you  _ dare _ compare me to that bastard!” Taeyang yelled, pushing himself to his feet and shoving Youngkyun back. 

 

“You’re threatening to shoot him!” Youngkyun pointed out in a yell, tears flooding onto his cheeks as he moved his whole body forward to shove Taeyang back again.

 

“He killed my dad!” 

 

“And by threatening to kill him, you’d be no better!” Youngkyun screamed, feeling his throat run dry as his words ripped it apart, little by little.

 

Taeyang pulled back from the argument, exhaling with shaky breaths as he seemed to gather the courage to spit what he had to say out. Youngkyun didn’t move from his spot, waiting for him to say it.

 

“Leave.”

 

“What?” Youngkyun asked, his anger dropping away from him in an instant. 

 

“I said. Leave.”

 

“Taeyang, I’m not-”

 

“Get out of my goddamn face!” Taeyang yelled at him, eyes flooding with tears. “You think you’re safe here just because it’s not your family?!”

 

“Taeyang, that’s not what-”

 

“They’ll come for you too! You aren’t safe here!”

 

“This isn’t about-”

 

“Get out!” Taeyang screamed, causing Youngkyun to flinch back. Taeyang saw it, and his expression almost faltered. Almost. “Get. Out.”

 

“I’m not leaving you,” Youngkyun denied, biting on his lip as he dug his feet into the ground.

 

“I don’t want you here.”

 

“You’re upset.”

 

“Listen to my fucking words, Youngkyun!” Taeyang yelled, moving forward harshly. “Read my lips! I. Don’t. Want. You. Here.”

 

Youngkyun’s eyes filled with tears again as he looked away from Taeyang, trying to blink the water away.

 

“Stop,” he pleaded. “Just stop yelling. I know it’s a lot to handle, but-”

 

“Stop acting like you know,” Taeyang spat at him.

 

“Are you forgetting my father is dead, too?!” Youngkyun yelled, realing himself in with a wince. “Forget it.”

 

“Don’t compare the two situations.”

 

“That’s not what I was trying to do,” Youngkyun explained. “But you aren’t listening to anything I say and-”

 

“I don’t wanna hear anything you have to say,” Taeyang spat. “I want you out.”

 

“And where the fuck would I go?!” Youngkyun screamed, hating how he raised his voice every time he tried to convince himself not to. 

 

“Home!” Taeyang yelled at him. “Say we cut off contact! You’re free! Go back to Chanhee! Go home! You’re out, do you understand?!”

 

“That’s my decision,” Youngkyun reminded him in a low voice. “You told Jaejoong that whether I left or not was my decision.”

 

“You’re not wanted here,” Taeyang told him simply.

 

“You don’t mean that,” Youngkyun tried. “Remember the pool, and the drinks, and-”

 

“I remember pretending like everything was fine when it wasn’t!” Taeyang stated with a low burn to his voice. “I remember thinking of nobody but myself, and pretending like my father wasn’t missing- no. Dead.”

 

“You couldn’t have known,” Youngkyun told him with a shake of his head. “You said it yourself, you couldn’t find him. We didn’t know enough.”

 

“Then I should have tried harder,” Taeyang bit back, another tear falling down his cheek. 

 

A silence fell between them, Taeyang waiting for a response and Youngkyun completely unsure of what to say. Neither of them moved.

 

“They’ll come looking for me,” Taeyang told him simply.

 

“For us,” Youngkyun corrected him.

 

“Youngkyun, leave.”

 

“No.”

 

“I said leave!” Taeyang screamed, reaching forward and slapping him across the face, pushing Youngkyun back until he slammed into the wall and fell to the ground. He felt his elbows slam into the walls as his body collapsed to the ground. “You need to go home!” Taeyang screamed, tears running down his face as Youngkyun lifted his hand up to his face, pulling it away with a small smear of blood.

 

“Tae…”

 

Youngkyun’s eyes filled with tears, his sight blurring as he looked from his hand to Taeyang. Taeyang had hit him. Taeyang had hit him so hard he was bleeding. Youngkyun felt a tear drop into his hand as he looked back up to the blurry image of Taeyang.

 

“How much do I have to hurt you before you leave?!” Taeyang cried out.

 

Youngkyun licked his lips, trying to find a way to keep himself together, but he knew it was already too late. “You’ve already hurt me enough,” Youngkyun stuttered out, reaching up to his face again and looking at the fresh blood dotting his fingers. 

 

Taeyang choked up at Youngkyun’s words, stumbling back as he said them.

 

“But I won’t-”

 

Taeyang reached forward, grabbing Youngkyun’s burner phone in one swift motion and whipping it against the wall to their side, watching it smash to pieces. Youngkyun flinched from the noise, covering his body with his arms. He shook as the last pieces of it fell to the floor, his mind unable to control his own body. 

 

“Please, leave!” Taeyang screamed at him, crying as he did. “I don’t want you as my partner, and I don’t want you by my side! I want you to leave!” 

 

Youngkyun looked from the broken phone on the floor to Taeyang, crying as he pushed himself back against the wall more, if it was even possible. There was nowhere to go, and Youngkyun felt like he couldn’t even look at Taeyang now.

 

He knew leaving was wrong, but Youngkyun couldn’t hold it in anymore. He pushed himself to his feet and left without grabbing his things, without a coat, and without saying goodbye. He walked through the door, slamming it shut behind him, and cried as he left Taeyang behind.


	24. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm sorry for constantly updating on random days, but I will be out ALL day tomorrow (my usual update day) so I'm posting this chapter early! Sorry... again....

Youngkyun curled his arms around his body, gritting his teeth as he walked, his skin nipping in the cold. He tried to fight away the feeling of his tears freezing on his cheeks, but every gust of wind just made it hurt more. Snow blew by him, piercing into his skin like needles and razors.

 

He tried to keep his arms tightly against him, like he could completely block out the cold if he did that. He could feel his fingers shaking, though, freezing in the bitter cold of winter. 

 

“Fuck,” Youngkyun mumbled to himself, slowly prying his arms away to reach into his back pocket where he pulled out fifteen thousand won. It was all he had. The bills crumpled in his hand, his fingers barely able to feel the fabric of the paper.

 

Youngkyun didn’t put any more thought into the money, hoping he had enough as he shoved it back in his pocket. He continued walking, feeling his jeans begin to freeze, rubbing against his legs. Snow blew into his hair, probably covering the natural color of his roots which had began to show. 

 

Youngkyun moved his hands to his face, pressing them against his cheeks to chase away the cold, but they only became colder as he pulled his hands away.

 

He sighed, opting to just curl his fingers around his body again. He couldn’t feel his face. His ears were so numb, and he was sure liquid nitrogen would be warmer at this point. His nose had begun to run, forcing him to sniffle every ten seconds like he was coming down with a cold.

 

His eyes teared up again as he turned a corner, the wind now blowing directly into his face. He couldn’t tell if the tears were from the pricks of the wind or his own emotions, but that was the last thing he wanted to focus on. Taeyang was the last thing he wanted to focus on.

 

But the more he thought about not wanting to think about Taeyang, the more he thought about Taeyang. His thought spiraled thinking about the way he had disregarded his dad like he never existed. Youngkyun had a father too. He might have only been seven when he was killed, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know what it was like. He thought about the way Taeyang screamed at him, pushing him back to try and get to the door. He thought about the way Taeyang had hit him, screaming at him and crying as he did. And he thought about the way Taeyang had said those words. Taeyang had told him they weren’t partners anymore. 

 

Youngkyun knew he was crying now, feeling the wind burn into his tears, freezing them to his face. Why was he crying? Taeyang had  _ hit _ him, and yet he was crying because of what the boy had said. When had Taeyang become someone who meant so much to him? 

 

But he knew the answer to that question. It was when Taeyang had asked for help, so lost and broken, but so honest. It was when he admitted to Youngkyun how he lied to everyone else, but trusted him enough to say it. It was when Taeyang had taken him to the pool. It was Taeyang.

 

Youngkyun moved his hand, wiping away at his dried tears as best he could, just to sigh in frustration as they continued to fall. Stupid Taeyang. It was stupid of him to care so much for the boy. Taeyang had just thrown him out! Taeyang didn’t want help. God, he was stupid to think he could  _ ever _ mean that much to Taeyang!

 

Youngkyun bit down on his lip, trying not to draw blood but not being able to help himself. He winced as the metallic taste filled his mouth, tears sliding down his cheeks. He moved his hand to his tears again, trying to wipe them away only to pull back his lips in a sob. 

 

He couldn’t even force himself to keep walking, stumbling into the side of a building, back pressed against the cold wall as he closed his eyes tightly, letting the tears fall. He let the back of his head rest against the wall as he tried to breathe, finding the air harder and harder to find. He felt like his lungs were closing up, burning in his throat and insides. Youngkyun gasped for air as he cried, banging on his chest like it would help.

 

It was Taeyang’s fault. Taeyang threw him out like that. Taeyang left him in the cold with nothing but a short sleeved shirt and fifteen thousand won. Taeyang let him think he could be happy.

 

Youngkyun gasped for breath again, sobbing to himself. He moved his tongue to lick his lips, cringing at the blood that coated his tongue, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. 

 

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but it was long enough for his arms to go numb even more than they already were. He wasn’t even sure he had ears anymore, and when he reached up to his cheeks, he couldn’t feel them. Maybe his fingers were too numb to feel them, or maybe his cheeks were too numb, or maybe it was both. Youngkyun looked to the building around him, wiping his eyes quickly with the back of his hand and pushing himself away from the wall. He walked into the store immediately, keeping his head down as he walked to the back aisle, pulling a small black mask into his hands. He didn’t waste any time bringing it up to the register, throwing it up onto the counter and handing the man two thousand won. 

 

“Hey, welcome to- woah. Hey, buddy, you okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” Youngkyun bit back with a crack in his voice. 

 

“You’re skin is-”

 

“Freezing, I know,” Youngkyun finished for him, gesturing his chin towards the mask. The guy seemed frozen, though, looking around him like he was some spectacle. What did he look like to the man in front of him? Were he cheeks so red they looked frost bitten? Were his arms blue with numbing cold? Was there blood still smeared across his lips and tears still frozen to his cheeks?

 

“You need to get warm,” the guy recommended.

 

“I need the mask,” Youngkyun corrected him. He looked up, making eye contact with the man which he was sure wasn’t helping his case. His eyes were probably red, completely bloodshot. He didn’t want handouts, and he didn’t have enough money for anything else.

 

“Sir-”

 

“Please,” Youngkyun begged, closing his eyes tightly as he tried to hold himself back from screaming, or bursting into tears again. “I don’t want your handouts. I don’t want to sit here and warm up. I want to go home.”

 

“You won’t get far wearing that in this weather,” the man commented.

 

“I will once I get to the train station,” Youngkyun countered.

 

“That’s over a mile away.”

 

“And I plan to walk there as I am,” Youngkyun told him, hissing as he bit down on his lip. 

 

“Sir-”

 

“Can you just do your job so I can have my mask?!” Youngkyun asked, aware of how rude he was being. “I appreciate you trying to help, but I don’t want it or need it. If I have to freeze just to get where I’m going, so be it.”

 

The man rung his mask up quickly, handing it to him carefully. Youngkyun pulled it from his hands, pulling it around his ears, burning against his fingers as he hooked the straps around them. He tucked it over his nose, not sparing another glance at the man before pushing the door open, walking back out into the cold. 

 

The bleeding on his lip had stopped by the time he made it to the station, most likely frozen, even through the mask. His breath helped to warm his face a bit, but there wasn’t much he could do for his fingers and arms. His ears were so numb he was worried they would fall off, and his chest was frigid, the thin shirt not doing much to help with it all.

 

He pulled out his won with shaking hands, doing his best to pay for a train ticket, but he couldn’t seem to figure out the machine with blurred vision and numb fingers.

 

“Excuse me, sir?” a lady beside him asked.

 

“Yes?” Youngkyun asked, biting on his lip behind the mask.

 

“Do you need help with that?”

 

Youngkyun was about to tell her to fuck off, but his fingers really were cold. He couldn’t even hold his money correctly, not actually able to feel it in his hand. So Youngkyun nodded, giving her the best smile he could manage and a thank you as she bought his ticket for him.

 

“Thank you,” Youngkyun said with a small bow, running off to his train. He felt a wave of relief wash over him as he felt the heating in the train. He tucked himself into the corner, pressing his shoulder against the window and pulling his mask up higher above his nose. He was hoping, since the air was warm, that maybe he would be able to relax, but that never happened. His skin just started to burn from the difference in temperature, and he really felt like crying from the pain. His cheeks began to itch, and he had scratched as his arms so much that there were red lines traveling up and down the lengths of them.

 

Nobody sat in front of him or beside him, thankfully. As the train rode closer and closer to its destination, he worried someone would see his face and recognize it. 

 

Throughout the ride, he just watched the trees and buildings fly by, remembering the time Taeyang and him had driven down to Suwon. He remembered all the other times they had driven together, like when Taeyang drove too fast, and when they followed that FNC car. He remembered Taeyang picking him up from work, and the two of them driving Yongchul home after drinks. They had worked so well together, bringing the boy home and tucking him neatly in his small bed. 

 

Taeyang and him had always worked so well together. They were partners- no. They weren’t. Taeyang and him weren’t anything now. 

 

Youngkyun couldn’t help himself as his eyes blurred, a small tear dropping down his cheek. Youngkyun didn’t move to wipe it away; he just closed his eyes and let it fall. 

 

Youngkyun couldn’t even remember when they started calling each other their partner. He couldn’t remember when they started playing that stupid game they always played. He couldn’t really remember when exactly it had been that he had started feeling something for Taeyang. Because he had, and Youngkyun was ashamed to admit it. 

 

Had he just been delusional, all that time, thinking whatever him and Taeyang had was mutual? They had always joked about the same things, playing their game together, helping each other, sleeping in the same bed to feel safe, pretending to date just to get away with shit.

 

Had Taeyang really not cared about any of that? If he had, how could he just throw him out like that? Youngkyun had thought Taeyang would need him by his side. He had been ready to help him, because he thought Taeyang would need someone by his side. How could he be so wrong?

 

_ “I don’t want you as my partner, and I don’t want you by my side!” _

 

Youngkyun closed his eyes shut with every ounce of strength he had as Taeyang’s words repeated in his head. He felt the tears falling, but he refused to make a scene out of it. He bit on his lip, trying to stop himself, but he couldn’t. 

 

_ “How much do I have to hurt you before you leave?!” _

 

Youngkyun felt his breathing getting out of control again. He had to pull his mask down to breath, trying to control himself but not even being able to remember where he was. He pressed his forehead against the window to his side, pulling his arms to his chest like he was trying to hide himself, but he still couldn’t breathe. He was trying to stop thinking, but it only made him think more.

 

_ “They’ll come for you too! You aren’t safe here!” _

 

Youngkyun couldn’t stop it. He cried. He cried, and he cried, and he kept crying until his eyes were so burnt and dry that there were no more tears to cry. He felt numb, leaning against the wall with nothing but a tear soaked face he couldn’t seem to wipe clean and a blank expression.

 

The thought kept running through his head: did Taeyang ever really care for him?

 

He couldn’t figure out the answer. His mind ran through every memory he had with the boy, and he really couldn’t figure it out. He remembered their fight, and the way Taeyang had so quickly turned on him, forcing him out like he was one of the bad guys. 

 

_ “They’ll come for you too! You aren’t safe here!” _

 

But he felt his thoughts clashing together, an idea forming he didn’t want to think about. Like the fact that he could be wrong about everything he thought. Did Taeyang ever really care for him… or did Youngkyun never really realize how much he cared?

 

_ “It’s okay. I got you, okay? You’re okay.” _

 

_ “You’re not alone, okay?” _

 

_ “I’m your partner in crime. I’m always here for you.” _

 

_ “I’ll push through it if you’ll stay by my side.” _

 

Youngkyun bit on his lip again, a single tear falling to his cheek. What if Taeyang really did care? What if Taeyang cared just as much as he did all this time, and kicked him out to protect him? The way he said it stuck in Youngkyun’s mind. 

 

_ “They’ll come for you too! You aren’t safe here!” _

 

What if Taeyang pushed him away to keep him safe, and Youngkyun left? What if Taeyang needed somebody by his side, but Youngkyun wasn’t there for him? What if Youngkyun left when he needed him more than ever? 

 

↔

 

The train stopped at the station almost an hour later, leaving Youngkyun to wipe his tears and push himself up. He wrapped his arms around his body as he walked, making sure his mask was completely pulled up. 

 

He barely noticed the cold and the wind blowing through his hair as he thought about the way Taeyang screamed at him, begging him to leave although he had done nothing but try to protect the boy. Had Taeyang been protecting him?

 

Youngkyun tried to shake the thoughts away, walking down the familiar streets with only short glimpses up from his feet. They wouldn’t go away, though. Those thoughts kept coming back, pricking Youngkyun like bad needles.

 

His mind flipped from the thoughts of Taeyang caring for him, and the thoughts of Taeyang hitting him to get him to leave. They flipped back and forth, his mind continuously changing sides and turning over ideas, replaying the screams in his ears. 

 

It hadn’t taken him long to reach the campus. He walked on easily, walking down the empty streets as his eyes glazed over the familiar setting. The cafe. The snack store. It was all so familiar.

 

Youngkyun found the right building easily, the anxiety building up in his chest as he found the elevator, pressing the button with his numb fingers and trying to warm up his arms. He rubbed his hands together in front of him and tried to think of even one thing he could say that could make up for everything.

 

He hadn’t gotten far in his thought before he was standing in front of the door. Slowly, Youngkyun reached up for his mask, pulling it down over his chin. He felt exposed, showing his face in a place where so many people could recognize him. His eyes darted to the sides, checking for watching eyes in the empty hallways. It was like he was looking for an excuse to turn around and leave after having come back so suddenly.

 

Youngkyun took a deep breath, not giving himself another second to contemplate the action before bringing his knuckles down on the door. He held his breath, waiting as he heard a chair sliding across the floor from inside.

 

“Coming!” the voice rang.

 

Youngkyun’s eyes went wide, considering turning around and leaving with the few seconds he had left. He could run, hide in the bathrooms down the hall or-

 

The door opened, and Youngkyun couldn’t think of anything better to do than stare. He met the big eyes staring back at him, his lungs burning as he forgot how to breathe.

 

“Kyu-Kyun?” he asked, stuttering as he looked up to Youngkyun in disbelief.

 

Youngkyun gave the boy a sad smile, barely able to hold himself together as another tear fell down his cheek. “Hi Chanhee.”

 

Chanhee didn’t waste another second, leaping forward and wrapping his arms around him. He pulled him into him tightly, like he was never going to let go of him. Youngkyun didn’t hesitate to return the hug, burying his head in the younger’s shoulder as he began to cry again.

 

“Oh my god,” Chanhee mumbled, pulling back and looking at Youngkyun with awe. “Oh my god. Kyun, your hair! Your- you- you’re freezing,” he noted, pulling Youngkyun into his room and locking the door behind them. 

 

He sat Youngkyun down on his bed, forcing him into a sweater as he wrapped a thick blanket around him. 

 

“Didn’t you have a jacket?” Chanhee asked, not really expecting an answer. Youngkyun didn’t have one to give him anyways. “My god, Kyun. How far did you come like this?”

 

“From Suwon,” Youngkyun answered honestly. What point was there in lying, anyways? Chanhee froze in front of him, looking at him with so much confusion, like he didn’t even know where to start.

 

“You took the train, right?” Chanhee asked. 

 

Youngkyun nodded, hugging the blanket around himself. He could feel Chanhee watching him, like he had a million questions to ask.

 

“Go ahead,” Youngkyun encouraged. “I won’t lie about anything. I promise.”

 

“Why did you have to leave?” he asked immediately, a small tear falling down his cheek. “Why did you call me saying things were difficult when I couldn’t answer you?”

 

“We were on the run-”

 

“From who?!”

 

“FNC,” Youngkyun told him in an empty voice. “Taeyang’s father went missing, and he wanted me to help him find him. We found out FNC was involved. The drug cartel Jaeyoon works for was involved. And when people suspected we were onto something, they tried to get rid of us.” Chanhee just stared at him, trying to process what he was saying. “They said he was dead to get people looking for him.”

 

“And his father?”

 

Youngkyun gulped, trying to force out the words. “He’s dead,” he mumbled with a scratchy voice. “We couldn’t save him.”

 

“So then where is Taeyang?” Chanhee asked, taking a seat by his side. “Did you guys manage to fix everything-”

 

“No,” Youngkyun squeaked out, tears forming in his eyes again as he sucked in a shaky breath. “We didn’t. We couldn’t- I don’t- he just-”

 

“Kyun, Kyun, slow down.”

 

“I shouldn’t have left him,” Youngkyun cried, falling into Chanhee’s side with a cry. He sobbed into Chanhee’s chest, trying to get himself together again, but he couldn’t do it. “I shouldn’t have left him. I should have stayed by his side. He needed me there, and I left.”

 

“Kyun… it’s okay,” Chanhee tried to tell him.

 

“No, it’s not,” Youngkyun cried. “His father is dead, people are still looking for him, and I left him all alone. He said he wanted me gone, and I really believed him. He wasn’t trying to hurt me, he just wanted to keep me safe.” 

 

Youngkyun pulled himself into Chanhee’s chest, sobbing as he explained everything. 

 

“Taeyang will be fine on his own,” Chanhee assured him. “Even if it’s only for a day, right?”

 

“What if he’s not?” Youngkyun cried.

 

“Kyun, you shouldn’t have to be so worried about him. He’s a grown man, I know the situation is tough, but-”

 

“I love him.”

 

The boy boys fell into silence and Youngkyun slowly pulled himself away from Chanhee’s chest.

 

“Chanhee, I love him.”

 

Chanhee’s eyes went wide, staring at the bed as he tried to think about what Youngkyun just said, but Youngkyun meant what he said. 

 

“I love him, and I left him alone like that.”

 

Chanhee nodded, looking up to Youngkyun with a sad look.

 

“What if we drive down to Suwon first thing tomorrow morning?” Chanhee suggested. “In the car, you can tell me everything that’s happened, and we can go get Taeyang.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, reaching his hand up to wipe at his tears. 

 

“But you need rest first.”

 

“I can’t sleep.”

 

“You’re freezing,” Chanhee scolded him. “You need to warm your body up. Hopefully you won’t have frostbite. Sleep for just a few hours, or at least try to, and we’ll go get Taeyang.”

 

“Do you promise?”

 

“I promise. We’ll find him.”


	25. Untitled

The air around him felt still, like wind had never passed through this area of the forest before. The leaves on the trees around him sat still in the darkness, like every single one of them belonged in their places. Those on the ground crunched underneath Youngkyun’s feet as he walked through the snow, burying them into the ground.

 

The snow crunched under his weight, echoing between every tree as he walked. He felt calm, like he was floating with no worries attached to his shoulders.

 

He reached up with a steady hand, brushing his fingers along a tree branch above him. Shortly after, he couldn’t remember what it felt like, or if it had felt like anything at all. The snow wasn’t cold, it just fell slowly and calmly around him, adding to the calm scenery.

 

It landed in his hair and on his skin, but he didn’t feel the cold sting snow usually had. It just fell, and then it was just there. It fell all around him, adding to the snow coating the ground, but not so much that it was noticeable. It all just seemed to be in place. 

 

Youngkyun looked up to the sky, no emotion really crossing his mind as he ran his hand over the bark of another tree.

 

And like a twig snapping behind him, Youngkyun froze, staring at the forest in front of him. Hair stood up on the back of his neck as his muscles tensed. It was like a dejavu feeling had just washed over him, covering his sense in some kind of expectation, like something was supposed to be happening. 

 

Youngkyun turned around, looking at the trees and the snow around him, looking for anything that was supposed to change. The forest was quiet, unmoving except for the snow that fell around him. He watched the forest, letting his eyes sink into every dark spot around the trees. But just seeing those dark spots made his skin crawl, like they were out of place. Something was wrong. Youngkyun turned his head, looking up to the sky.

 

Then he realized. It was still dark.


	26. Dependent

The first day without Taeyang was probably one of the hardest. As much as Youngkyun wished he could sleep, and as much as Chanhee had wanted him to, he just knew he couldn’t. He had tossed and turned in his old bed all night, hugging a pillow to his chest and crying, hoping Chanhee wouldn’t hear how broken he felt.

 

They had left earlier than planned, sometime around four in the morning. Chanhee drove all the way to Suwon, listening while Youngkyun explained everything that had happened to them. He started with how they met, and how he lied to Chanhee about them being study buddies. He told him about Insik. He told Chanhee about Jaejoong, and how he was treated as a kid. He told Chanhee about Jaeyoon, and how they knew each other. He talked about him and Taeyang pretending to date, and how they had to leave his aunt's house. He left Seokwoo and Kinam’s names out, hoping not to give Chanhee anything he could dig into. He told him about them moving to Suwon, and how he started working with Yongchul. He talked about the news, the pool, Youngbin, and everything else he might have missed in between.

 

Chanhee asked a few questions, but more than anything, he just seemed to be listening. Youngkyun appreciated it, he really did, because he didn’t think he could handle another pitiful look from the boy every time he started crying. It was getting ridiculous even to him at this point.

 

When they finally made it to the hotel, Youngkyun ran past the clerk, dashing up the stairs and banging loudly on the door. He called out for Taeyang, saying how sorry he was and how he shouldn’t have left. But Taeyang wasn’t the one to open the door. Taeyang had left.

 

Chanhee and him spent the whole day searching through Suwon, going from hotel to hotel, looking for Taeyang. He begged every clerk, crying in front of several of them when some of them refused to even check their guest lists out of privacy. 

 

He checked every parking lot for Taeyang’s car, but he couldn’t find it. Taeyang was just gone. He had even stopped by Yongchul’s home when he knew the boy would be at work. Taeyang wasn’t there either. Taeyang was just… gone.

 

The second day without Taeyang was hard too, because Chanhee had classes. Youngkyun had meant to sit in his bed all day, not going out because he was told not to, but he really couldn’t sit still like that. He left.

 

On his way out, he spotted a motorcycle with the keys just sitting in the ignition. Chanhee had mentioned at some point that the owner was so trustworthy that he just left them there. Youngkyun decided he would just hot wire a car. It was cold out, anyways.

 

He drove down to Uiwang, searching through every hotel and sauna that sat between the border of Suwon and the border of Gunpo. He looked through them all, and when he still couldn’t find Taeyang, he went south to Hwaseong. The only problem was the fact that Hwaseong was a huge district. He went to every hotel bordering Suwon, and even visited some between Osan. 

 

Chanhee called him hours later, after classes had ended, panicking because he had left without telling him. Youngkyun felt guilty for leaving, and cried the entire time he drove back to Seoul.

 

The third day without Taeyang was worse because Youngkyun hadn’t really slept in three days. He was terrified to sleep, to be honest. His nightmares originally stopped because he felt safe with Chanhee, but knowing Taeyang was somewhere all by himself didn’t make him feel safe. He just felt scared. He knew what would happen if he slept, so he just didn’t. But Chanhee refused to let him drive anymore, so he spent the whole day on the phone instead, calling every hotel he could think of and every hospital in the Suwon area. He had gotten so desperate that he even called Youngbin, asking if the boy had seen or heard anything about Taeyang. He hadn’t, but he promised to look. Youngkyun really couldn’t describe how in debt he was to Youngbin.

 

But no hospital had treated him. No hotel had seen him. No sauna had information. And no bar in the area remembered the face. It was like he just disappeared, and that worried Youngkyun more than anything.  

 

FNC was silent, and so he had no way of knowing if Taeyang had just left, or if he went missing just like his father did. Even thinking of the idea sent Youngkyun into a panic, pulling his shirt away from his neck in an attempt at breathing, and falling to the floor with spotted vision.

 

It had happened so badly that day that Youngkyun had fallen and hit his head. He passed out, and woke up crying and screaming in his bed, without Chanhee. The boy had probably gone out for classes, or maybe food, but it didn’t matter, because Youngkyun was all alone. He sat in that room for however long it took Chanhee to come back, sobbing into his knees and trying not to fall apart. Every sound around him sounded like a gunshot, and every time he closed his eyes he could see his hand holding it, Taeyang falling to the ground at the other end.

 

Chanhee had come back with snack for the both of them, but it was hard to say thank you when he yelled at the mere sound of the door opening. Chanhee wouldn’t leave his side for the rest of the night. 

 

He put on a Marvel movie, hoping the action scenes would help keep Youngkyun awake, but his brain was still worn out from the lack of sleep, so he drifted off anyways.

 

He woke up screaming again, the sky still dark and Chanhee bolting up by his side. He really couldn’t handle himself, and he cried so much that he just forced himself to face the wall, cuddled up on his bed. He just wished Taeyang was there to make him feel safe, because he was so scared.

 

Something in Youngkyun snapped on the fifth day without Taeyang. Chanhee was at classes, and Youngkyun really couldn’t sit in Chanhee’s room anymore, stuffed away on his bed with nothing else to do but think. He couldn’t fall asleep, and he couldn’t help anyone, so what was he even doing there? He didn’t know how Taeyang did it for an entire month.

 

He texted Chanhee before leaving, leaving his new burned phone on his bed after sending the text. He had no idea if he was coming back or not.

 

Youngkyun didn’t even bother grabbing a coat, storming outside and walking a few parking lots over, picking the lock to some random car and hot wiring it. He sped down the road as fast as he could. His bloodshot eyes barely blinked closed as he drove at least thirty miles over the speed limit.

 

He skidded to a stop by the entrance to the den, looking the two men who approached him dead in the eyes.

 

“Let me in,” he demanded.

 

“Who the fuck do you-”

 

“I’m Kim Hwiyoung, Jaejoong’s goddamn son, and if you don’t let me in right now, I’ll find out where you live and burn your houses to the ground. Let me in.”

 

Youngkyun had glared at them, breathing heavily as he almost dared them to stop him. He walked right through them. He walked past everyone, waving away the puffs of drugs he walked through, until he got to Jaejoong’s office. He didn’t even hesitate to lift his leg up, bringing it down on the door and bashing it open. He walked inside, not even letting Jaejoong open his mouth before he brought his fist down across his face. He reached down for his shirt, pulling him up to face him again just to punch him across the face.

 

Jaejoong spat out blood, looking up at Youngkyun with confusion and fear as everyone that worked for him stood behind him, watching.

 

“Where the fuck is he?” Youngkyun growled, pulling Jaejoong harshly towards him. “Where the fuck is he?!”

 

“I don’t know-”

 

“Think hard, because I’m losing my patience,” Youngkyun warned, fingers going numb with how hard he dug them into his uncle’s shirt. “Where is he? You know who I’m talking about.”

 

“He’s dead! Didn’t you know?!”

 

“You know,” Youngkyun began with a laugh, a laugh so dense and filled with tired hysteria that he almost couldn’t stop himself. “For someone who taught me to lie, you really fucking suck at it.”

 

Youngkyun raised his fist, bringing it down on his face again. 

 

“What’s your fucking problem?!” Jaejoong screamed at him. “I helped you!”

 

“You lied to me,” Youngkyun reminded him, throwing him to the floor. Men rushed forward as he did, grabbing his arms and pulling him back. “You lied!” Youngkyun screamed, kicking back at the men as he did. “I asked you for one goddamn favor and you fucking lied! You never helped me! You beat me! You lied to me! You ruined my goddamn life!”

 

“Take him outside,” Jaejoong ordered his men, pushing himself to his feet and wiping the blood away from his mouth. 

 

“You know where he is! Tell me where he is!”

 

Jaejoong walked with his men, following them to the door where they threw Youngkyun to the ground, spitting at his feet before walking inside.

 

“We had a deal,” Jaejoong warned him, walking forward slowly as the door shut behind him.

 

“So did we,” Youngkyun reminded him. “I get one favor, remember? I asked for one thing, and you lied.”

 

“I didn’t lie.”

 

“You threatened that news station. You did FNC’s dirty work, and I’d even go as far as to bet you were there when Insik died, weren’t you?”

 

Jaejoong froze at his words, staring at him with confusion and shock. 

 

Youngkyun spat at his feet. “You fucking trash.”

 

“I don’t know where he is,” Jaejoong admitted honestly. “Go find him yourself.”

 

“I tried!” Youngkyun screamed, his voice tearing at his throat as he did. “I’ve been looking for him! I can’t find him!”

 

“Well that’s your problem,” Jaejoong told him, leaving him cut up on the ground as he walked back towards the door. “Come here again, and I’ll have my men kill you.”

 

The sixth day without Taeyang was terrible, because Youngkyun couldn’t even bring himself to speak. Chanhee kept him locked up inside, tying his hand tightly to the bedpost and ordering him to either sleep, or sit still.

 

Youngkyun felt sick eating, so he didn’t eat. He tried to drink, but the water burned his throat, so he didn’t drink.

 

The first time he fell asleep, he woke up screaming and crying, pulling his hand against the rope so much that his wrist began to bleed. The second time he fell asleep, he woke up sobbing, trying to get the images of Taeyang’s dead body out of his head, but he couldn’t. Every time he woke up, all he could see was Taeyang, and it hurt him so much. He woke up alone every time, screaming and crying into an empty room. 

 

Eventually, he must have passed out. He wasn’t sure why this time was different, but it might have been because of the lack of food, water, and sleep all put together. He woke up twelve hours later with an IV in his arm, Chanhee sitting at his bed with a sad look in his eyes. Youngkyun felt like he couldn’t even look at him, he felt so ashamed. He felt so broken, and knowing it just seemed to break him more. 

 

Chanhee took him out looking for Taeyang again the next day, but they didn’t find him. They didn’t even get a clue.

 

Youngkyun would go days without sleep at a time, locked inside Chanhee’s room. Chanhee had to resort to scolding him, at this point, even breaking down when he had to tell Youngkyun not to leave because he was just hurting himself. Chanhee cried every time Youngkyun came back with a new bruise or scar, and that hurt Youngkyun too.

 

Youngkyun stopped trying to call Taeyang on the ninth day. On the tenth day, he finally fell asleep on his own will and woke up without a dream. That was the one and only time that happened. 

 

On the eleventh day, Chanhee took him out for a walk, letting him enjoy the fresh air, even if it was still cold outside.

 

On the twelfth day, Youngkyun woke up crying, trying to shake the images of Chanhee’s falling body from his head. He didn’t scream, though, so he didn’t wake the boy up. He never told him about this dream. That day, sun had actually come out and the weather wasn’t so bad that they couldn’t go for a nice walk, so they took the day to walk around Seoul, visiting stores and just spending time together like they used to. 

 

On the fourteenth day, Chanhee left for the night for a “date-night” as he called it. He was reluctant to leave, but Youngkyun agreed that he would behave, and that he would be fine for one night so Chanhee could go live his life. Chanhee promised to introduce Youngkyun to the mystery man eventually, and that was enough for Youngkyun to genuinely smile and wish him well. 

 

To say the least, it wasn’t a good night for him. Youngkyun felt bad, because he knew Chanhee would be worrying because of him, and it really wasn’t fair. Chanhee deserved to have date nights every week, and to not have to come home everyday to his broken friend. 

 

Youngkyun promised he would try to fix himself, or at least put himself back together enough to function, for Chanhee. It was hard to accept it, but Youngkyun knew he wasn’t going to find Taeyang by looking through hotels and calling his number. He could have been anywhere in the country by now. Hell, he could be in Japan or America if he managed to get on a plane. Youngkyun knew hoping he would turn up wasn’t getting him anywhere, because he was just leading himself on.

 

He just needed to give it time, like his situation with Taeyang had needed time. But this time, he didn’t know how long this situation would last. He needed to put himself back together, just incase he never found Taeyang.

 

Who knows, maybe Taeyang had started his own life in a new district, with a job and all new friends. Maybe all he needed and wanted was a complete new start. After all, he had gotten what he wanted, hadn’t he? He said he wanted Youngkyun to get out of the mess, and now he was out. He still wore his mask around in public, but with time everything would go back to normal, or as close as it could get.

 

Youngkyun just hoped Taeyang was in a spot he was happy with. Youngkyun just hoped Taeyang was okay.

 

So instead of pretending to eat again, Youngkyun actually ate. The food tasted bitter, but he forced it down his throat. He made himself drink two cups of water, sipping at it throughout the night. He put on a movie, sitting on the couch under a blanket, with a small bowl of popcorn by his side. He didn’t eat the popcorn, but it felt more normal with the bowl by his side, like he as at least getting better.

 

He woke up alone, screaming.

 

On the seventeenth day, Youngkyun cooked for Chanhee, doing his best to show how well he was doing. He felt good, like he was convincing Chanhee he was improving. He learned a bit about cooking, making Chanhee smile by making him meals. He never complained about sleeping anymore, at least making it look like he was going to bed. He always faced the wall, though. He even learned to stop himself from screaming when he woke up by biting down on his blankets and crying silently into his pillows. It wasn’t ideal, but it was working for him. He even got makeup without Chanhee knowing so he could cover the dark circles under his eyes.

 

On the twenty first day, Chanhee left for another date, and Youngkyun told him he would be alright on his own. Waking up from a nightmare was hard enough as it was, but waking up alone just seemed to break him again. He felt everything he had worked to build just crash down as he cried, huddled in a ball with his tears staining his blankets. He woke up almost every hour, gasping for breath, crying, or screaming. Eventually, he just laid on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with nothing going through his mind. It was just empty. He just felt empty.

 

On the twenty fifth day, FNC made an announcement about some new design they were working on, but just the thought of them saying something about Taeyang sent Youngkyun into such a panic he broke down crying, gasping for breath, before even reading the article.

 

Chanhee had asked him that day, why he was so dependent on Taeyang. But the thing was, he wasn’t. He just felt guilty. He had left Taeyang there alone, and it would be his fault if anything bad happened to him. He also cared a lot for the boy, and it would just break his heart if he was hurt. He didn’t  _ need _ Taeyang, he just needed to know he was okay. Youngkyun figured that was probably why he couldn’t seem to put himself back together just right, because he didn’t know.

 

On the twenty eighth day, today, Chanhee told him he was bringing his boyfriend over.

 

“Oh, so you’re official?” Youngkyun asked with a teasing smile, laughing as Chanhee rolled his eyes.

 

“Yes, we’re official.”

 

“How long have you two been seeing each other? I want the details!” Youngkyun begged, blinking innocently at Chanhee. He was going to drag his finger down his cheek in a tear like fashion, but he didn’t want to wipe away the makeup covering his eyes.

 

“We met at the police station,” Chanhee told him, eyes going wide as he realized how bad that sounded.

 

“You went to the police?!” Youngkyun asked, wide eyed. He couldn’t help but be worried. “Why?!”

 

“Looking for your dumb ass after you never came back from break,” Chanhee told him. “I went there begging for help, but nobody would help me. Then this guy was there, and offered to help me look. He was nice.”

 

“So you got into a stranger’s car?” Youngkyun asked, unimpressed.

 

“Uh, yeah,” Chanhee admitted with a snort. Youngkyun couldn’t help but snort as well. “Okay but here’s the thing. He’ll be here in like, a minute or so. You can’t be mad.”

 

“Why would I be mad?” Youngkyun asked with a raised eyebrow. “He makes you happy, doesn’t he? Did he hit you?!”

 

“No! And excuse me, but Taeyang hit  _ you! _ ”

 

“And when I see him again he’s either apologizing or I’m hitting him back,” Youngkyun threatened, completely serious. “But you’re sure he didn’t hurt you?” Chanhee nodded. “So why would I be mad?”

 

A knock came from the door, and Chanhee smiled at him innocently. “He may… or may not… work for FNC.”

 

Youngkyun stood up, staring to the door. “Does he know I’m here?”

 

“No, I just said he was meeting one of my friends.”

 

“Chanhee, he can not, and I mean,  _ can not _ see me,” Youngkyun told him, taking a step back.

 

“He was helping me look for you before!” Chanhee defended. “He’s really nice, and he won’t tell anyone, I promise,” Chanhee explained, moving to the door and pulling it open.

 

Youngkyun’s breath caught in his throat as he stood, watching the person in front of him shift his eyes to meet his. He froze as well. Then the two of them just stood, staring at each other.

 

“Seokwoo, this is Youngkyun.”

 

“You found him,” Seokwoo mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows at Youngkyun.

 

Youngkyun waited for him to say something, because there was no way in hell he was saying the first word. 

 

“Hey, Youngkyun. Nice to see you again,” Seokwoo said nervously, as a look of complete fear washed over Chanhee’s face.

 

“Oh god,” he mumbled, shrinking into himself. 

 

“Nice to know while we were hiding, you were looking for us,” Youngkyun told him, not moving his eyes.

 

“I wanted to know you were okay.”

 

“Bullshit,” Youngkyun told him, not believing a word he said.

 

“Excuse me?” Seokwoo asked, staring in utter disbelief as Youngkyun stared him down. “I’m on your side.”

 

“You seem to be a bit confused where our side lies,” Youngkyun spat at him. “Considering you knew everything this whole time and never bothered telling us.”

 

Seokwoo sighed, dragging his hand through his hair. “I did what I did to keep Taeyang safe.”

 

“Oh, yeah, because you had to sit there and watch Cheolmin kill Insik for Taeyang to be safe, I bet,” Youngkyun said with a roll of his eyes. “We were there watching.”

 

“I know,” Seokwoo growled at him, taking a step forward. “And you’re lucky nobody else saw you two hiding behind that cheap plywood.”

 

Youngkyun’s voice caught in his throat as Seokwoo took another step forward. 

 

“What happens if I get caught? Huh? If I get caught, I can’t help Taeyang. I try to keep myself alive, while keeping you idiots alive, but you two made that really fucking hard!” 

 

“Nobody asked you to help us,” Youngkyun told him.

 

“I should have helped more. If I had, my best friend wouldn’t be dead!” he yelled, biting down on his lip as he pulled away from Youngkyun, like he was trying to control his temper. 

 

Chanhee gave Youngkyun a look, and he knew it was wrong, but he was absolutely not telling Seokwoo yet. He gave Chanhee a small shake of his head. He thought of it as a test, and maybe a small bit of revenge.

 

“I’m on your side,” Seokwoo said, whatever emotion he was feeling clearly suppressed

 

“But you knew.”

 

“And what did you want me to do? Tell Taeyang? Go on, tell me what Taeyang would have done if I had told him. Go on, tell me,” Seokwoo demanded.

 

Youngkyun cursed in his mind.

 

“That’s right,” Seokwoo told him, not even needing him to say it out loud. “He would have gotten himself killed. I did what I did to protect him, so are we good?”

 

Youngkyun pouted, thinking over his options in his head. He didn’t really have many.

 

“Are we good?” Seokwoo asked again, stretching out his hand.

 

“We’re good,” Youngkyun grumbled, meeting Seokwoo’s hand and shaking it grudgingly. “Also Taeyang isn’t dead,” he blurted out quickly.

 

“Wha- what?” Seokwoo stuttered, blinking at Youngkyun like he didn’t think he heard him right.

 

“Taeyang isn’t dead. I don’t know where he is, but he wasn’t dead four weeks ago.”

 

Seokwoo couldn’t even respond to Youngkyun. He just fell to his knees, looking around with wide eyes as he began to cry. He had a smile on his face, so genuine that it made Youngkyun actually feel bad for doubting him. He fell into Chanhee’s chest when he bent down, crying tears of joy and happiness at the thought of his best friend still being alive. 

 

Youngkyun decided, maybe, just maybe, it would be okay if he trusted Seokwoo, because maybe Seokwoo really was on their side.

 


	27. Save Him Pt. 1

Youngkyun woke up to the sound of Seokwoo’s phone ringing, his heart banging in his chest at the unfamiliar sound, but just thankful that it wasn’t the sound he had expected to hear. He let his head fall back into his bed, looking over to Chanhee’s bed where Seokwoo sat, Chanhee’s arm still around his chest, as he reached over for his phone. 

 

“Sorry,” he whispered to the both of them.

 

“It’s fine,” Youngkyun said with a dull wave of his hand. It was better than him waking up to something worse. At least he had slept… five whole hours. That was impressive, for him.

 

Seokwoo pulled the phone to his ear, wincing at the light the phone gave off. 

 

“Hello?” he asked in his groggy voice. He paused, hearing the other person talk. “What? Hold on, I’m going to put you on speaker,” Seokwoo told him, shaking Chanhee awake and warning him to be quiet. He glared at Youngkyun, and Youngkyun nodded to show he understood. He felt wide awake now, like the tiredness that had been dragging him around for weeks now didn’t even exist.

 

“Kinam told me, and he says he’s sure.”

 

“But Taeyang is dead,” Seokwoo told him, walking around with the phone to his jacket while he spoke to make it seem like he needed to be on speakerphone. Youngkyun didn’t miss the movement of his finger as he started recording the call.

 

“Not according to Kinam. He says he’s absolutely sure.”

 

“Where did he see Taeyang?” Seokwoo asked, turning to Youngkyun to make sure he was listening.

 

“Songpa-gu.”

 

Youngkyun didn’t even wait for the conversation to finish, pushing himself out of bed and towards the front door, grabbing his coat off the hook and slinging his arms through it.

 

“I’m on my way,” Seokwoo told him quickly, hanging up and turning to Youngkyun.

 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Chanhee called out, rubbing the tiredness completely from his eyes.

 

“To find Taeyang.”

 

“You should stay with us,” Seokwoo recommended. “We can all look together.”

 

“Are your men going to be out looking too?” Youngkyun asked, watching as Seokwoo sighed, nodding in defeat. “Then we’re not going together. Chanhee, can you take east Songpa-gu?”

 

Chanhee nodded, pulling himself out of his bed. He moved over to grab his coat, copying Youngkyun.

 

“Seokwoo, can you take the west section?”

 

“Taeyang was seen in the west section,” Seokwoo told him, pulling up his phone to show him a text from some guy named Jintaek. The name sounded familiar.

 

“So go to the west section, and get him before your heathens do. I’ll take the middle.”

 

“In what car?” Chanhee asked, grabbing his keys from the table.

 

↔

 

Youngkyun smiled, running out into the cold and towards the edge of the parking lot.

 

“Kyun, no, please, just come with me or Seokwoo,” Chanhee begged. 

 

Youngkyun shook his head, hooking his leg over the seat of the motorcycle and turning the key around in his hand.

 

“I can’t let them find him,” Youngkyun told him, giving his a sad smile as he started up the motorcycle. “I left him once. I’m not leaving him again.”

 

Youngkyun watched Chanhee for a second, waiting for a response. Chanhee just nodded, taking a step back as Youngkyun smiled, giving him a nod of appreciation as Seokwoo jumped into his own car. 

 

“Do whatever it takes! We all know what happens if we don’t get him first,” Youngkyun shouted out, turning the bike around and speeding off down the road. 

 

The jacket pressed against Youngkyun’s skin by the wind was not doing much to keep him warm. His hands burnt from the cold, but he ignored it as best he could. How much the cold hurt him didn’t matter right now. It didn’t matter if his hair felt like it was being ripped through the wind without a helmet, and it didn’t matter how badly his eyes watered as he swung in between the cars, going over the speed limit as much as he could without slamming into the other cars around him. 

 

He didn’t care how many cars honked their horns at him as he sped past, and he couldn’t care less about the red lights he ran. What mattered was how fast he was going, and if it was fast enough. 

 

He turned the bike to the right, wincing as the bike tipped a bit too much for comfort on the turn, he made sure to set it up right again, but it was still frightening. He hadn’t actually driven a motorcycle for four years, and at the age of fourteen he definitely wasn’t going this fast.

 

He made it into Songpa-gu easily, slowing his speed enough that he could look to his sides as he drove. There were so many people. Groups of them walked down every road, and Youngkyun could see dozens of them everywhere he looked. He didn’t even know what Taeyang was wearing. 

 

Youngkyun pulled the motorcycle to a stop at the side of the road, looking around with panicked eyes as he watched all the people walk by around him. There were so many. Songpa-gu was so big, and it was a city. Taeyang could be anywhere. Taeyang might not even be in the center of Songpa-gu, but how were any of them supposed to find him?

 

Youngkyun gulped, pushing his foot off the ground and moving the vehicle forward. 

 

“Taeyang!” he called out, turning down a road to the left. “Taeyang!”

 

He kept calling out of him, stopping on every road to call out for the boy. He looked through every person, looking under hats and around the color of their hair. Nobody looked like him. Everybody looked in his direction when he called Taeyang’s name, but none of them were Taeyang. 

 

“Taeyang!” he called again, hoping nobody from FNC would hear him. He hated the feeling around him, like he had to watch the streets around him and his back, just in case someone might recognize him. He didn’t even have his mask on. Anybody could recognize him if they knew who to look for. 

 

Youngkyun shook his head, calling out for Taeyang again. He drove down the streets one by one, checking each and every one, looking for his friend. 

 

Every few streets, he pulled out his phone, staring at the screen in hopes that Chanhee or Seokwoo would text him, saying they found him. They never did. Every time Youngkyun checked his phone, he felt like he was just wasting time. He felt like Taeyang could be anywhere, like he had driven right past him a million times, and missed him every time. 

 

It must have been an hour later when Youngkyun pulled to a stop across the street from a convenience store. He had five thousand won on him. He planned to go in, get a water for his throat, ask the clerk about Taeyang, then continue looking. 

 

As he crossed the street, hands tightly shoved in his pockets for warmth, he couldn’t stop thinking about if FNC got him first. But then Seokwoo would know, right? And Seokwoo would tell him. Seokwoo was on his side now. Seokwoo was helping, and Chanhee was helping too. They may not have had as many people looking as FNC, but they had the advantage of knowing Taeyang. Maybe they actually had a chance. Youngkyun really had to hope they did, at least.

 

Youngkyun looked up to the doors in front of them just as they opened. He jumped out of the way, looking up to apologize for almost running into the person, when his body froze completely. 

 

“Oh my god,” he whispered, barely able to pull his own thoughts together as the water in Taeyang’s hand dropped to the ground, rolling out of sight and leaving his hands empty.

 

“Kyun?” Taeyang asked, like he couldn’t believe it was really him.

 

Youngkyun felt tears building up in his eyes as he looked at Taeyang, taking in every aspect of his appearance. He memorized the way his eyes shined in the lights of the city like he would never see them again, and the way his skin glowed, like he was seeing him for the very first time.

 

Youngkyun didn’t have anything to say. He couldn’t string enough words together, if he had any at all. So he just walked forward, pulling his hands from his pockets and throwing them around Taeyang’s neck, pulling him in for a hug as he choked out a sob, a huge smile appearing on his face as Taeyang hugged back. 

 

He pulled the boy closer to him as Taeyang did the same, relishing in the fact that he was real. Taeyang was in front of him, and Youngkyun could barely believe it. It wasn’t real. It really couldn’t be.

 

Youngkyun pulled away, holding Taeyang’s face in front of him with a tears in his eyes, trying to convince himself that it was real. 

 

Taeyang cried in front of him, tears sliding down his cheeks as he smiled, or at least tried to as he cried.

 

“Youngkyun, I’m so sorry,” Taeyang cried, falling back onto his shoulder. Youngkyun pulled the boy toward him, moving his hand to hold his head steady as he cried.

 

“It’s okay, Tae. You’re safe. You’re safe, that’s all that matters,” Youngkyun told him, moving his hand to wipe at his tears as he smiled, holding onto Taeyang so tight that he was sure he would never let him go. “You’re safe now.”

 

“I didn’t want you to go.”

 

“I know. I know, Tae.”

 

“I never wanted you to leave, I just- I never meant to yell at you like that.”

 

“I yelled too,” Youngkyun admitted, pushing his nose into Taeyang’s shoulder to muffle his cries, like he wasn’t crying at all. He blinked up at the sky, trying to clear his eyes as Taeyang’s arms linked around his back.

 

“I’m so sorry. I’ll never hit you again. I swear, Kyun. I’ll never do that again. I’ll die before I do that to you again.”

 

“I forgive you,” Youngkyun told him pulling him from the hug to see his face again. Taeyang laughed through his tears as he did, his eyes dancing across Youngkyun’s face like he was seeing him for the first time in years. It really felt that way.

 

“I want you to be my partner,” Taeyang told him, grabbing onto Youngkyun’s hand where he held onto Taeyang’s face. Their fingers linked together, but Youngkyun barely noticed. “I want you by my side. I want you to be my partner.”

 

“I never stopped being your partner,” Youngkyun told him through his tears, choking out a happy laugh as he did. Taeyang smiled at him, and Youngkyun swore he felt every sleepless night he had fade into dust as Taeyang’s cheeks puffed out, the light dancing off of them and reflecting so beautifully in his eyes.

 

“I’ll never ask you to leave again,” Taeyang promised, nodding at he said it.

 

“And I’ll never leave you like that again,” Youngkyun told him, trying not to cry as he said it. “I promise.”

 

Youngkyun didn’t know what came over him in that moment, but he was just so happy to see Taeyang, and so happy that he was safe, that he guessed it really didn’t matter as he leaned down, pressing his lips to Taeyang’s. It was only for a second, and he pulled away with a happy smile, Taeyang too relieved and happy to care. He pulled Taeyang into his arms, laughing as did. 

 

Taeyang was here. Taeyang was in his arms. Taeyang was safe.

 

“How did you find me?” Taeyang asked, pulling away from the hug and looking into his eyes. “I wanted to find you, but I was too scared you wouldn’t want to see me.”

 

Youngkyun’s smile dropped as he remembered, like seeing Taeyang again had completely clouded his memory of why he was even out here looking for him.

 

“Kyun?” Taeyang asked, his own smile dropping. “Kyun? How did you find me?”

 

“FNC found you,” Youngkyun mumbled, looking back at the motorcycle quickly and turning back to Taeyang. “Kinam saw you in Songpa-gu. We came out here looking for you.”

 

“We?”

 

“Chanhee, Seokwoo, and I,” Youngkyun explained, his heart beat rising as he remembered who else was out in this city with them. 

 

“Seokwoo?!”

 

“We need to go,” Youngkyun told him, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the street. 

 

Then he saw the black car, the one so similar to that car they followed all those months ago, that caused a shock of panic to spread throughout Youngkyun’s body. He wanted to turn Taeyang around, to push him to face the other way and turn away, but it was too late. He could see their eyes through the window, and he knew they could see him.

 

“Run,” Youngkyun mumbled, pushing his hands at Taeyang and pushing him back. “Run!”

 

“Where?!” Taeyang asked with a shaky voice, slowly backing away as the car window rolled down, men staring back at them with malice in their eyes.

 

“ANYWHERE!” Youngkyun screamed, turning on his heel and grabbing Taeyang’s wrist, pulling him with him down the nearest alley.

 

He heard the car doors open behind him, striking panic through his nerves. He pulled out his phone, dialing the number as quickly as he could.

 

“This way!” Taeyang told him, guiding him along as he pressed the phone to his ear.

 

“Youngkyun-”

 

“SEOKWOO! GET US, NOW!” Youngkyun screamed into the phone.

 

“You found him?!” 

 

“BAEKJEGOBUN-RO! WE’RE ON BAEKJEGOBUN-RO!” Youngkyun called out. “GET US, NOW!”

 

“I’m on my way,” Seokwoo said, the car squealing from Seokwoo’s end of the call. Youngkyun hung up, shoving his phone in his pocket.

 

“Are they following us?!” Taeyang asked with a shaky voice. 

 

“Probably,” Youngkyun breathed out, pulling Taeyang to the right and through another alley leading back to the main road. He grabbed his hand tightly, pulling him through the crowds of people around them.

 

“Excuse us!” Taeyang called out as they ran through groups, shoving everyone in their way.

 

“Do you see them?!” Youngkyun asked, trying to figure out which way to go.

 

“Behind us!” Taeyang called out. 

 

Youngkyun turned around as he ran, eyes going wide as he spotted the men chasing them through the crowds. 

 

“We’re going to need to blend in!” Youngkyun told him as they ran, making sure he was caught up with him. He pushed him to the side, forcing them down another alley.

 

“Blend in?!” Taeyang asked. “There are at least forty people in this area who know what we look like and want us dead!” Taeyang pointed out. “How do we blend in?!” 

 

“Follow me,” Youngkyun told him, making sure his grip on his wrist was good as he took a right, forcing them back out into the crowds of people. “Next alley,” he told him, pushing him in between another two buildings. “Jacket off!”

 

Taeyang nodded, pulling his sweater over his head quickly and tossing it into a garbage bin by their sides. Youngkyun copied him, ripping his jacket off and throwing it in with Taeyang’s.

 

“Come on,” he said, grabbing Taeyang’s hand and pulling him with him. They ran back out into the streets, turning into the first clothing store they could find.

 

“I have thirty thousand won.”

 

“Excuse me, miss!” Youngkyun called out to the shop owner. “What can we get for sweaters like, right now, for thirty thousand won? Color or style doesn’t matter, we just need two.” 

 

The lady at the desk gave them two cheap sweaters quickly. Youngkyun didn’t bother waiting for change, giving the woman the full thirty thousand won and pulling his jacket over his head. 

 

“Thanks!” he called, grabbing Taeyang’s hand and pulling him with him outside. He pulled the hood over his head, linking his arm with Taeyang and pulling his hoodie up. 

 

“Now what?” Taeyang asked as Youngkyun slowed to a walk.

 

“Act like a civilian,” Youngkyun told him. “Head down. Walk slow. Don’t freeze up. Just walk normally.” Youngkyun tried to slow his breathing, like he hadn’t just run through at least five different alleys while panicking. “Where have you been for the past four weeks?”

 

“We’re going to do this now?” Taeyang asked his a hushed voice.

 

“Yeah,” Youngkyun said at full volume, like they were having a regular conversation. “If we don’t talk, we don’t look completely normal.”

 

“I followed you up to Seoul that night,” Taeyang explained. “I’ve been staying in and out of Seoul ever since. I spent a few nights in Uijeongbu, a few in Guri, and a few in Hannam.”

 

“I can’t believe you’ve been in Seoul this whole time,” Youngkyun said with an exasperate roll of his eyes. “I spent days in and out of Suwon, looking through hotels and saunas for you.”

 

Taeyang rolled his eyes. “You thought I would make myself easy to find around here?”

 

“Well no, obviously, but damn. You could have picked up the phone,” Youngkyun said with a snort, pulling Taeyang to his side as a group of men raced past them. Youngkyun made sure to keep his head down, smiling to himself as the men passed them completely.

 

“I broke it,” Taeyang explained. “And I broke yours. Sorry.”

 

“It was a burner phone. It didn’t matter that much,” Youngkyun explained, leaning down to Taeyang’s ear. “We should get back to the motorcycle now.”

 

“Those men saw us,” Taeyang told him. “Everyone will be coming to get us now.”

 

“We’re several roads past Garak-ro, where I parked. We’ll need to get there without being seen.”

 

“But we can’t run.”

 

“No, we can’t. And everyone knows our faces and hair colors now.”

 

“Fantastic.”

 

Youngkyun pulled out his phone. He dialed Seokwoo’s number and and pressed the device to his ear.

 

“Where the hell are you?!” Seokwoo asked. “I’m on my way to Baekjegobun-ro, but I got a call that you were spotted!”

 

“We are aware,” Youngkyun told him, tempted to look behind him but not wanting to risk it. “Can you get to us in the next five minutes?”

 

“.... no.”

 

“Then we’ll be going to Garak-ro instead,” Youngkyun informed him. “What parameters do your men have? How many men?”

 

“I think about sixty employees are coming your way.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Youngkyun asked with a sigh.

 

“You know stuff about Cheolmin. The company isn’t taking that lightly. They want you two gone.”

 

“We haven’t noticed.”

 

“They have executives, dogs, dealers, and goons out looking for you. Everyone is out. Don’t underestimate how many loyal men FNC have. The police are out too, I’ve heard.”

 

“Oh great. So we have sixty men to deal with, plus the Seoul police. Fantastic.”

 

“Be careful. I can get there in ten minutes if you wait.”

 

“Sixty men aren’t going to let us wait ten minutes,” Youngkyun told him, hanging up and shoving the phone in his pocket.

 

“What’s the plan?” Taeyang asked, gulping as he tried to maintain a normal looking posture and walk. “Please tell me you have a plan.”

 

“I’m thinking.”

 

“Oh god.”

 

“I think we need to keep blending in,” Youngkyun told him. “I think if we just keep doing things how we’re doing them, we should be fine. Turn around here,” Youngkyun told him as they spun around, turning to walk the other way. “Just keep your head down, and we should be at Garak-ro in maybe… fifteen minutes.”

 

“If the police are coming, they’ll treat us like criminals,” Taeyang pointed out. “They’ll block off roads. It won’t take fifteen minutes for that to happen.”

 

“Fuck,” Youngkyun mumbled, looking around him for ideas. “We’ll have to run for it, then.”

 

“If we run, we draw attention and get caught,” Taeyang pointed out. “There aren’t even any trains or subways in the area, and we definitely don’t want to get cornered on a bus.”

 

“At least you’ve learned how to be a proper criminal over the past four weeks,” Youngkyun breathed out with a small laugh. “Okay, so two men running draws attention, but we need to run to get out of Songpa-gu in time,” Youngkyun recapped, biting down on his lip lightly as he tried to think of anything he could do. 

 

“Kyun. Kyun,” Taeyang told him, tapping at his arm.

 

“What?”

 

“Men ahead. They’re checking people’s faces,” Taeyang told him, turning his head down. 

 

“Alley, now,” Youngkyun decided, tugging Taeyang with him into the alley, hiding themselves behind the buildings. “We can’t stay here anymore than two minutes. We need to keep moving.”

 

“And exactly how do you expect us to keep moving?!” Taeyang asked with wide eyes. “We can’t blend in, and we can’t run.”

 

Youngkyun mind sparked with an idea, and Youngkyun cursed at himself. He always had such terrible ideas.

 

“They’re looking for two boys, one with black hair and one with blonde hair.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“When they first spotted you, though, you were alone.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“So they know I found you first. And they know I wouldn’t leave your side.”

 

 “Yes… Kyun what are you thinking?”

 

Youngkyun took a deep breath, going over the plan in his head. “I think we should split up.”

 

“Are you fucking high?!”

 

Youngkyun nodded, understanding how dumb the plan sounded. “Hear me out, though. They’re looking for two of us. If one single person ran by them, too fast for anyone to see who it was, why would they care? Why would they leave their position? I mean, what are the chances that that one person is one of us, especially when they expect the both of us to be together?” Youngkyun asked, trying to convince not only Taeyang, but himself as well that this was a plan that could actually work.

 

“I hate that it sounds like it could work,” Taeyang admitted, pulling his lips together in a tight line. 

 

“We’ll run in a figure eight style. We’re on Ogeum-ro right now. There are roads on both sides of us that run in a blocklike formation. I’ll go left, you go right, and we’ll both run to the ends of our roads. We’ll go down two streets, and run back up to Ogeum-ro. We’ll meet each other there, and keep doing that until we get to Garak-ro. Sound good?”

 

“Sound’s dangerous,” Taeyang admitted.

 

“Welcome to being on the run from a giant company,” Youngkyun said as a joke, shaking out his hands. “I’ll see you two streets down?”

 

“You better.”

 

↔

 

The first run was easy. Youngkyun’s plan was actually working surprisingly well. It didn’t matter how many men Youngkyun passed, they all just glanced at him and looked away, like he was on his evening jog. It looked so normal, to be on a run by himself, that nobody even batted an eye. 

 

He kept an even pace, making sure to breathe evenly until he got to their meeting point back on Ogeum-ro. Taeyang met him there with a smile, leaning against the wall to catch his breath.

 

“That actually worked. I passed right by them.”

 

“Just make it look like you’re jogging. They don’t even see to care.”

 

“This might be your best plan yet,” Taeyang admitted with a smile, tapping him on the shoulder. “Ready for round two?”

 

“I missed this,” Youngkyun said with a smile. “I actually missed getting into trouble with you.”

 

“You’re called my partner in  _ crime _ for a reason,” Taeyang said with a smile and wink.

 

“I’m serious, though,” Youngkyun said as he licked his lips, still trying to catch his breath. It was amazing, that after all this time on the run, he still despised running. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this.”

 

“You’ve missed knowing you could be caught any second?” Taeyang asked with a laugh.

 

“Is it bad that it feels normal?” Youngkyun asked back with a laugh.

 

“I’ve missed you, too,” Taeyang spoke, giving him a smile and a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll meet you at the next point?”

 

Youngkyun nodded, watching as Taeyang turned to run down his side of the alley.

 

Youngkyun kept steady on his second round, making sure not to look anyone in the eyes and not to make himself seem too suspicious. Nobody cared again. It was working so well that Youngkyun was actually becoming proud of himself. This might actually work.

 

He met Taeyang at the next meeting point with a smile on his face.

 

“One more,” Taeyang told him as he fell against the wall behind him, trying to catch his breath as quickly as he could. 

 

“One more,” he repeated. “Then we’re out of here.”

 

“Thank you for finding me,” Taeyang said with a smile. 

 

Youngkyun really didn’t know what to say in return to that, so he simply smiled, hoping Taeyang knew how much he cared for him.

 

“One more,” Taeyang told him.

 

“One more,” Youngkyun agreed, pushing off the wall and down his road. He continued to run until his lungs were aching for air, his heart pumping in his chest. He didn’t even stop then. He had to keep going. He had to be there when Taeyang got there. 

 

Youngkyun turned the corner, pushing himself into the alley that would lead him to the halfway point to his destination. He was so close.

 

He turned another corner, ready to jog down the alley, when he bumped into somebody, throwing his balance off and slamming himself into a nearby wall. 

 

“Sorry sir-” Youngkyun’s voice caught in his throat as he took a small step back. He turned to sprint down the alley, ready to bolt away from the man, but it was too late. Jaejin grabbed him, grabbing him in a chokehold and throwing him down to the ground. Youngkyun cursed, throwing his elbow up and smashing Jaejin in the face. He pushed him back, trying to get away, but Jaejin had really fast reflexes. He caught Youngkyun first, throwing a punch across his face and pinning him to the ground.

 

Youngkyun shifted, throwing his leg over Jaejin and hitting him in the side of the head. He didn’t waste a single second, only focused on how long Taeyang would have to wait at Garak-ro for him by himself. He climbed onto Jaejin, bringing his fist down on his face and shoving his head into the dirt. Jaejin reached up for his throat, and Youngkyun moved up to kick at him. He kicked him in the side, falling to the ground again as Jaejin swiped him off his feet. 

 

“Motherfucker,” Youngkyun cursed, pushing his elbow back into Jaejin’s face. Jaejin fell back, and Youngkyun moved forward, hitting him across the face again. He jammed his fist onto Jaejin’s nose, causing blood to start dripping out, coming up from his mouth in coughs as Jaejin fell back to the ground.

 

“I would feel bad about this,” Youngkyun said, honestly, as he continued to punch Jaejin across the face, beating him until the man couldn’t even seem to find the energy to move. “But you’re a bad person.”

 

Youngkyun grabbed Jaejin’s hair, slamming his head into the ground for extra measure, watching his arms go limp. Youngkyun reached down to his neck with his fingers, feeling for his pulse. It was still there, which meant Jaejin would be fine if he wasn’t a baby.

 

Youngkyun nodded, pushing himself up and moving to turn down the alley, when he stumbled backwards, feeling his body go numb as a shot echoed in the alley, bouncing off the walls around him.

 

Youngkyun couldn’t seem to breathe, his eyes not able to move from Kinam’s figure, his gun raised at Youngkyun. He tried to move his mouth, but no words seemed to come out. Slowly, Youngkyun looked down, watching with shaky eyes as a stain started to appear above his hip on the left side. He moved his hand to it slowly, everything around him fading away to silence. He touched the stain carefully, pulling his fingers away to see red printed across his hand. He couldn’t seem to register the blood, or why it was coming from his body, but he knew he was losing his balance, and it was becoming very hard to stand up properly.

 

Without another second’s warning, Youngkyun fell back with a yell, feeling the pain of his wound shoot up his body like a knife jabbing into his side. Youngkyun moved his hand to his body, ignoring the black spots that appeared in his vision as he put pressure on his side, cursing as he did. It hurt. It hurt so much.

 

Youngkyun looked up to Kinam, watching him walk forward carefully, the gun raised to his head. 

 

Youngkyun gulped, letting out a squeak of pain and a gasp as he fell back, not able to hold himself up anymore. Falling back hurt, but it felt relieving at the same time. It was like a wave of relief followed the pain as Youngkyun tried to breath away the black spots in his vision.

 

It was hard to register in his mind what had happened, because it had been so sudden, but he knew it. He knew it the second it happened, and he knew it as he fell to the ground.

 

“Boss, I have one of them,” Kinam spoke into his phone, watching Youngkyun carefully. His eyes seemed to wander as he talked though, which was very hard to notice considering Youngkyun’s vision wasn’t focusing very well, either.

 

“Fuck,” he cursed to himself, pressing down on his side harder, which only made his hands shake more. His body seemed to be less and less numb by the second, and every second his side bled, the harder it became for him to breathe. He felt like he was gasping for air, only causing his vision to worsen.

 

“No, no it’s not Taeyang.”

 

Youngkyun bit his lip as he fell back, thinking about all the times he had been shot in his dreams, never imagining that it could hurt as much as this. The bullet in his side felt like it was ripping his muscles apart one by one, digging into all his nerves and cutting them off with blades. The blood drained from his face, and he felt so lightheaded like he could pass out any second. 

 

It hurt. It hurt so bad that he didn’t want to move. He wanted to close his eyes and lie down. He didn’t want to see the gun pointed towards him, and he didn’t want to struggle with his own breath, like his lungs had been ripped from his chest.

 

But Taeyang was still there, waiting for him. Taeyang was probably already there. What would happen if Youngkyun died here? Would Kinam find him, too?

 

“I don’t know where he is, sir.”

 

Youngkyun was going to die. If he sat here and did nothing, he was going to die.

 

The thought alone made him choke up, tears falling with a grunt of pain as he tried to lift his head. He kept his hands on his wound, trying to put pressure on it, but he felt like his own strength wasn’t even working. It seemed like he was pressing on his side, but it didn’t really feel like it. His arms felt numb, his head felt numb, and his side felt like a spiderweb of nerve endings, ripping apart all at once across his body.

 

If Youngkyun died here, would Taeyang come looking for him? Would Kinam find Taeyang? Would Seokwoo find him first? There were too many questions, and Youngkyun could barely put them together in his own mind, nevermind answer them.

 

Youngkyun exhaled, readying himself to lift his head in... one, two, three! Youngkyun lifted his head with a yell of pain, watching Kinam’s eyes dart back to him. Youngkyun coughed, his head falling back to the ground as he rolled to his side, watching as he spit out his own blood.

 

“I’m gonna die,” he whispered to himself with shaky breaths, so low that only he could hear it. “I think I’m gonna die.”

 

He looked over to Kinam again, his eyes drifting away from Youngkyun like he wasn’t a threat. He could barely move. 

 

He looked over to Jaejin, who laid next to him, completely unconscious. His vision blurred out of focus as he did, but when it came back into focus his breath hitched in his throat, causing him to cough again, his blood dripping over his lip and into a puddle on the ground.

 

Jaejin had a gun. He had a gun in a holster on his hip, but Youngkyun hadn’t given him enough time to grab it, before. 

 

Youngkyun closed his eyes, letting the tears fall as he tried to push the pain back. He tried to even his breathing. Actually, he tried to breathe at all. He felt like every time he tried to breathe, he just gasped in pain or filled his lungs with his own blood. 

 

“Kinam, please,” Youngkyun begged with a shaky voice, barely able to say that much before jolting to his side again, coughing out his blood in a fit of pain and tears. “I need to save him,” he choked out, spitting his blood onto the ground as he did. “I need to- I- I need to save- save him.”

 

“Quiet,” Kinam ordered, leaning into his phone call again. Youngkyun really felt like time was moving in slow motion, watching Kinam turn his head away again as he choked on his own breath again, turning to the side to cough in pain. 

 

“Should I kill him, or do you want him?” Kinam asked into his call.

 

Youngkyun cursed in his mind. He could die right now, and he couldn’t even do anything to help Taeyang. Seokwoo and Chanhee were still out there, and they didn’t even know where he was. 

 

Youngkyun turned to Jaejin again, wincing as he focused his eyes on the gun. 

 

It would make him a bad person. Youngkyun knew it would make him a bad person, even if Kinam was a bad person. It wasn’t right. Youngkyun would be just as bad as any other bad person if he took that, but he really couldn’t think of another option he had. 

 

But Taeyang mattered more to him than becoming a bad person. Taeyang always mattered more. And right now, Taeyang needed him.

 

With a yelp of pain, Youngkyun reached over for the gun as quickly as he could. He flicked off the safety with one finger, sliding the handgun into his palm and raising it up to Kinam. He could see the panic on Kinam’s eyes as he saw him, and he could see him repositioning his gun to fire, but Youngkyun didn’t give him the chance. He pulled the trigger with a cry of pain and terror, his arm jolting back as he watched Kinam’s body drop in front of him, blood flying out from his head.

 

Youngkyun sat still, watching with wide eyes as Kinam fell to the ground, the gun rolling out of his hand and crashing to the ground. He could feel himself breathing heavily, his body heaving up and down as he tried to slow his heart rate. 

 

He killed Kinam. He… he killed Kinam. 

 

Youngkyun looked to his shaking hand, watching the gun sit so perfectly in his palm. He dropped it with a yell, biting down on his lip to stop himself from screaming as he pushed himself back through the dirt, kicking the gun away from him with the feeling of a million knives jabbing into his side.

 

He killed a person. It wasn’t a dream this time. He killed a real person. The body dropping in the back of his mind wasn’t imaginary, he was real.

 

Youngkyun yelped in pain, moving his hand to his side again as he pushed himself back against the wall, not sure if his own thoughts or the pain hurt more. 

 

He looked around in front of him, imagining Jaejin waking up to find his friend dead. Kinam was dead because of him. If it hadn’t been for him, Kinam would be alive. He was a bad person, but he was dead. Youngkyun was a bad person. Youngkyun was just as bad as Kinam.

 

Youngkyun bit down on his lip, pulling back his lips as his eyes filled with tears. He moved his hands slowly up to the zipper of his sweater.

 

“I can’t- fuck. I can’t focus on them now,” Youngkyun mumbled to himself. “I- I have to get to… to Taeyang. Gotta get to Taeyang,” he told himself, grabbing the zipper between his fingers. “One, two-” Youngkyun pulled the zipped down as quickly as he could, pushing the front of the clothing away from his chest where his white shirt sat, glued to body, coated in a layer of red.

 

Youngkyun let out a squeak as he moved his hand to his shirt, trying to lift it up, but it hurt too much. Moving his shirt away from the wound pinched at his side, cutting it apart and only causing more blood to stain his shirt, and he couldn’t do it. Youngkyun dropped it with a sigh, letting the tears fall with it. He tried to keep his breathing steady, making sure he was taking deep breaths, but it was so hard to breathe and cry at the same time, and he couldn’t seem to stop himself from crying.

 

“Taeyang,” he mumbled to himself, turning himself onto his knees with a muffled yell of pain. It hurt so much. He closed his eyes tight as he pushed himself up, biting down on his lip as he pushed himself to his feet. Halfway up he started coughing out blood, causing his knees to go weak as he caught himself on the wall beside him, his bloody fingers digging into the wall.

 

He took one step, biting on his lip so hard that he was sure it was bleeding, but he couldn’t tell. He tried to take another step, but he felt like he could barely hold himself up the way he was. He coughed again, blood dripping onto his chin and to the ground as he hissed in pain. Youngkyun pulled his lips back in a cry, slowly coming to the realization that he wasn’t going to make it to Taeyang. He could barely walk. He could barely see. His vision blurred ahead of him, and the longer Taeyang waited, the more likely it would be that he wouldn’t make it either. 

 

Youngkyun reached back into his pocket with a shaky hand, pulling out his phone and trying his best to dial the familiar number, holding the device to his ear. It rang twice before the boy answered.

 

“Seokwoo-”

 

“Youngkyun?! Did you get out?!” 

 

“Save Taeyang,” he breathed out, biting on his lip as he pressed his hand tightly into the wall beside him, just trying to keep himself up long enough to finish the call. He moved to press his shoulder into the wall instead, holding his side with his hand as it seemed to burn with pain.

 

“What? Where are you?”

 

“He’s on Garak- Garak-ro. Outside the- the 7-eleven,” Youngkyun told him with a shaky voice, trying to hide the pain in his voice. 

 

“Youngkyun, where are you?”

 

“Save... him, Seokwoo, ple- please,” Youngkyun begged, tears falling as he cried. He tried to take another step, stumbling into the wall as he did and falling to the ground with a yell. He dropped the phone, forgetting about it quickly as he clutched his hands to his side in pain. He tried to breathe, but all he could feel was the burn of his throat as he struggled. He tried to keep his eyes open as much as he could but everything hurt. His head felt heavier than it had before, like maybe he had hit it when he fell.

 

“Youngkyun!?” Seokwoo called out.

 

Youngkyun looked up with blurry vision, looking sadly to the phone he had dropped. Carefully, he moved one of his hands to reach for it, watching as his vision blurred in front of him to nothing but colors and swatches of colors. He grabbed it weakly with his fingers, dragging it towards him and bringing it to his ear. “Please... do- don’t look fo- for me,” Youngkyun begged, wincing as he did. “Seokwoo, ple- please don’t.”

 

“Youngkyun, you’re not-”

 

“Get Tae- Taeyang, and... leave.”

 

“Youngkyun-”

 

“Please tell… tell Chanhee I- I love him,” Youngkyun begged, sobbing as he did. His side burned, striking him with a burst of pain that only caused his breath to hitch in his throat.

 

“Youngkyun?!”

 

Youngkyun opened his mouth, gasping for breath as the blood dripped from his lips. “I’d ca- call him… but- but I don’t… thi-think I’ll... make it tha-that long.”

 

“Just hold on, Youngkyun.”

 

“Do- don’t fi- find me!” Youngkyun begged with a yell, breaking down into tears as he did, wincing at the pain his side caused him. “Please... just sa- save him! Save him ple- please!” Youngkyun sobbed into the phone, groaning in pain as his side began to tear his sense of feeling apart, the pain traveling up his entire body. “Please save... him.”

 

Youngkyun’s vision began to fade, black splotches taking over as his mind seemed to drift away from consciousness.

 

“Save… save…” Youngkyun couldn’t even finish his sentence, his voice fading away as the phone fell from his hand, clattering to the ground next to him. He head dropped to the ground, blood dripping from his mouth as he tried to keep his eyes open. His vision blurred away, his breathing reduced to nothing but gasps for air, and his mind falling into complete blackness.

 

“Save… him.”


	28. Save Him Pt. 2

“Save… him.”

 

“Youn- Youngkyun?”

 

Seokwoo gripped the wheel in front of him, knuckles turning white with pressure as his foot pressed down on the gas. He felt like he couldn’t even focus on the road ahead of him, his ears still ringing from the sound of the phone dropping.

 

“Youngkyun? Hello? Youngkyun, can you hear me? Youngkyun?”

 

Seokwoo felt his heart beat rise in his chest, beating against his ribs like a bear locked inside a cage. What did he mean by not making it that long? Was he okay? Was  _ Taeyang _ okay?

 

“Fuck,” he cursed, lane changing with nothing but a single glance, and speeding ahead of the traffic. “Call Chanhee,” he ordered out loud, reaching up with one hand to adjust his earpiece.

 

“Seokwoo?” Chanhee asked as soon as the line clicked. “Did you find Taeyang?”

 

“Uhh, kind of?” Seokwoo answered, focusing his eyes on the road as much as he could and turning down an alley to cut through the main streets. The road was small, but he sped through it anyways, not really caring if he hit any stray trash cans.

 

“What do you mean ‘kind of’?” Chanhee asked.

 

“I mean, Youngkyun found Taeyang, but I’m heading there now.”

 

“Really?! Oh my god, thank god,” Chanhee stated in relief.

 

“Haha, yeah, I wouldn’t say that yet,” Seokwoo told him, slamming on the brakes as he came to the end of the road. The traffic was so busy with police barricades being put up around Songpa-gu. It was going to be impossible to get to Taeyang at this point.

 

“What? Why? What’s wrong?”

 

“Just meet me on Garak-ro,” Seokwoo told him. “Head in that direction. I’ll call you back if the plan changes.”

 

“Wait?! Where are Kyun and Taeyang?”

 

Seokwoo licked his lips, trying to think of how to say it without throwing the boy into a panic. The light ahead of his turned green, and he slammed on the accelerator, speeding the car out onto the road.

 

“I don’t know where Youngkyun is,” Seokwoo told him honestly, holding his breath as he said it.

 

“But you know where Taeyang is?”

 

“Yes,” Seokwoo said, wincing. He was just waiting for the panic to set in, and he was really not excited about it.

 

“Then where is Kyun?!” Chanhee asked with a panicked voice. “Shouldn’t they be together if he found Taeyang?”

 

“I don’t know,” Seokwoo told him honestly. “I don’t know what happened, but I’m going as fast as I can. Please just hurry,” Seokwoo begged, his leg bouncing up and down nervously as he drove. “Please just hurry. Something tells me we don’t have much time.”

 

“I’m about ten minutes away, with this traffic,” Chanhee told him, clearly trying to hold back his questions and worry.

 

“Get here in five,” Seokwoo told him, looking up to the street sign ahead of him quickly before pulling the wheel, turning the car into a slight skid. He straightened himself out easily, slowing his speed as he looked for the 7-eleven.

 

He ended the call, ripping off his ear piece and tossing it into the passenger seat without a single care. 

 

He found the 7-eleven easily, slamming on the brakes and throwing the car into park. He threw his seatbelt off, leaving the car door wide open as he dashed onto the sidewalk, looking around him in every direction.

 

Was it possible that the boy had left? Maybe he went out to look for Youngkyun? What if he didn’t make it here, like Youngkyun had thought.

 

Seokwoo opened his mouth to call out for his friend, but he bit on his lip quickly, remembering how many FNC people were in the area. He looked around with panicked eyes, searching every face in the crowd for Taeyang. He looked behind him, spotting the motorcycle easily. Taeyang hadn’t left, which meant he had to be somewhere nearby at least. 

 

“Taeyang!” Seokwoo called out, not being able to help himself in his fit of panic. He felt his arms shaking as he searched, imagining every possible solution where Taeyang never made it here. 

 

“Taeyang!”

 

“Seokwoo?”

 

Seokwoo turned to his left with a sigh of relief, running up to the corner of the 7-eleven and wrapping his arms around Taeyang so tightly that he was sure he never wanted to let him go. 

 

“Thank god,” he whispered, pulling the boy into his chest. “Thank god you’re okay.”

 

“Wha- what are you…?” 

 

“Youngkyun told me where you were,” Seokwoo told him, his expression going blank as Taeyang pulled himself gently from Seokwoo’s arms.

 

“Kyun told you I was here?”

 

It didn’t take more than a second for Seokwoo to realize his mistake, eyes widening as Taeyang looked behind him into the alley, like he was waiting for something. Or someone.

 

“We have to go,” Seokwoo told him quickly, reaching for his wrist. Taeyang moved too quickly, though, pulling his arm away from Seokwoo’s reach with an offended look in his eyes. He watched Seokwoo as he backed away, lip quivering in the cold as he turned to look down the alley again. He looked completely lost; stuck between Seokwoo and Youngkyun, who had never made it, it seemed

 

Did Taeyang… not know what happened to Youngkyun? Were they not together?

 

“Where’s Kyun?” Taeyang asked him in a strong voice, furrowing his brows as he waited for an answer.

 

“I don’t know,” Seokwoo told him honestly.

 

“He should have been here by now,” Taeyang mumbled, looking back into the alley again. “I have to get him.”

 

“Tae, no, you can’t-” Seokwoo begged, reaching out for him again as he jumped back.

 

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do! Youngkyun is my friend, and he could be in danger because of me!” Taeyang screamed at him. Seokwoo begged Taeyang to keep his voice down, but the boy didn’t seem to care. “I shouldn’t have waited this long. I need to find him-”

 

Seokwoo cursed, watching Taeyang turn away from him, jogging lightly down the alley behind him. Seokwoo faltered in his steps, not sure what to do. He just needed time to think, but Taeyang was already getting away from him, and he didn’t have much time to think left.

 

“Fuck,” he mumbled to himself, racing back to his car and leaping into the driver’s seat. He leaned over to the glove compartment, pulling it open swiftly and reaching in for the small bottle and rag. He grabbed them quickly, pouring the contents of the bottle lazily onto the rag as he sprinted down the alley after Taeyang. The liquid dripped across his hand, and Seokwoo cursed to himself again as he made his way closer to Taeyang.

 

Taeyang heard him, turning around to tell him off again, but Seokwoo didn’t stop.

 

“I’m sorry,” he told him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders quickly before pressing the cloth to his mouth. 

 

Taeyang yanked his head back quickly, moving his arms up to Seokwoo’s hands to rip the cloth away with fear in his eyes, but Seokwoo refused to move. He kept his arms around Taeyang firmly, pressing the cloth into his mouth.

 

“I’m sorry,” Seokwoo told him again, hating the feeling of Taeyang struggling against him. He wanted to kick himself in the ass for the way Taeyang looked up at him, like he was scared for his life. “I’m sorry,” Seokwoo pleaded. “But I can’t let you go after him.”

 

Taeyang shook his head, his face turning a shade of red as he struggled to hold his breath. Seokwoo felt a single tear drop down his cheek as he held Taeyang still, watching as his friend’s struggle slowly became weaker and weaker, until he fell limp in his arms. 

 

He dropped the bottle from his hands, discarding it on the ground as he moved to catch Taeyang. The bottle spilled out onto the ground, forcing Seokwoo to pick the boy up as quickly as he could, throwing him over his shoulders. He moved away from the bottle, pulling the door to the back seat open and pushing Taeyang inside. He moved everything off the ground, tossing it onto the floor in front of the passenger seat. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he told Taeyang again, knowing he couldn’t hear him. “I’ve done absolutely nothing to earn your trust. In fact, if I hadn’t already crossed a line, I’m pretty sure I just did,” Seokwoo admitted as he moved Taeyang’s legs onto the floor of his car, kneeling on the seat as he lowered the rest of Taeyang’s body to the floor. He moved out, pulling the trunk open quickly and grabbing a small black blanket. The color matched his seats and floor, so he hoped it would hide Taeyang well enough.

 

He slammed the trunk down, running back to the backseat door. “I’m sorry, Taeyang. I am so sorry. But your safety is more important to me than anything else in the world.”

 

Seokwoo flattened the blanket out, placing it neatly over Taeyang’s body. He tipped the boy’s head to the side, leaving a small gap with the blanket so he would still be able to breathe without an issue.

 

Once the blanket covered him completely, Seokwoo shut the door, jumping into the driver’s seat as pulling his seatbelt across his chest.

 

He moved his hands to the wheel, ready to start driving again when he looked up to the rearview mirror, guilt flooding his system.

 

Taeyang would have gotten himself caught to save Youngkyun. He hadn’t even thought about it for a second before running into the alley, determined to find him. How would he feel when he woke up, knowing Seokwoo pulled him out? He wouldn’t be thankful. He would hate him more than he probably already did.

 

And what would Chanhee say if he didn’t find Youngkyun? Youngkyun was his best friend, and he would rather save his own friend than think about the safety of Youngkyun.

 

It hurt, because Seokwoo couldn’t stop thinking about the way that boy bolted up out of bed, rushing out the door just past midnight to go save his friend. Youngkyun cared a lot for Taeyang, just like he did. It was selfish of him to leave now, even if it meant a greater chance of him getting caught with Taeyang. Youngkyun didn’t deserve that. Taeyang didn’t deserve that. Chanhee didn’t deserve that.

 

Seokwoo leaned his head onto his steering wheel with a deep sigh. “Okay. Okay, fine. You win, Tae. Let’s go get Youngkyun.”

 

↔

 

Seokwoo started down the road that led to the other end of the alley Taeyang had started down. He didn’t know where Youngkyun had been, or what their plan had been, which probably would have been easier to figure out if he hadn’t chloroformed the only person who knew. 

 

He checked each alley on foot, locking his car behind him as he jogged down each passage, looking for any sign of the boy.

 

By the way he sounded in their phone call, Youngkyun had been right. He probably wasn’t going to make it far, so Seokwoo just had to check every alley until he found the one Youngkyun would be in, if someone hadn’t found him already. 

 

He pulled to a stop by the next alley he needed to check, putting his car in park and releasing his seatbelt. He had just placed his hand on the handle to open the door, when lights flashed into his window, blinding him. Seokwoo raised his hand to block the light, watching with fear as the car in front of him shut off its lights, pulling to a stop.

 

Seokwoo watched the man get out, and moved quickly to meet him on the sidewalk, locking his car with the keys behind him. 

 

“Jintaek, what are you doing?” Seokwoo asked, approaching him quickly. The farther they were from Seokwoo’s car, the better.

 

“Watching you,” Jintaek told him with a shrug. He acted as if he had everything in the palm of his hand, hands stuffed in his suit pockets neatly with a carefree kind of look. 

 

“Shouldn’t you be looking for Taeyang?” Seokwoo asked, copying his stance to the best of his ability. It was a good thing Seokwoo was good at acting, because he could feel himself panicking on the inside. 

 

“Yeah, but we’ve got plenty of guys looking for him. I’m more interested in you.”

 

“I’m flattered.”

 

“Tell me, Kim, why are you putting so much effort into finding Taeyang?”

 

Seokwoo licked his lips in the cold, raising an eyebrow at Jintaek. 

 

“Why aren’t you?” he asked in return, taking a small step towards the boy.

 

“Because I’m thinking we have a bigger problem.”

 

“What could possibly be a bigger problem than Taeyang being alive and back in Seoul?” Seokwoo asked, rolling his eyes at the man in front of him. He really hated Jintaek, always had. The man had a habit of looking down on him, like he was any better for cheating his way into the system through Cheolmin’s favor.

 

“You,” Jintaek told him simply, taking a small step forward and reaching up for his jacket. Seokwoo stood still as the man smoothed it out, pulling at the collar harshly and smoothing out the wrinkles.

 

“At least I’m doing my job,” Seokwoo lied, tilting his head to the side. “And you are… investigating a member of your own company? I feel betrayed.”

 

Jintaek breathed out a small laugh, nodding his head as his eyes drifted to the area around Seokwoo.

 

“Well don’t drag this on,” Seokwoo spoke, attempting to draw Jintaek’s attention back to him. “Why am I such a big issue all of the sudden?”

 

“Because everyone knows you were buddy buddy with Taeyang,” Jintaek pointed out. “And everyone knows you didn’t want to kill his father. You objected to it.”

 

“Because in case you haven’t noticed, murder just to get what you want is taking things a bit too far,” Seokwoo pointed out, glaring through the man like he was staring through glass.

 

“And you still want us to find Taeyang?”

 

“Well I’d rather I find him then you,” Seokwoo admitted. “At least then I have a say in what happens with him. Who knows? If Kinam found him, he might just shoot him on the spot,” Seokwoo pointed out. “So are we done here?”

 

“I just don’t get it,” Jintaek stated with a shake of his head as he scrunched his nose.

 

Seokwoo sighed, rolling his eyes to the side. He froze as he looked into the alley to his side, noticing the smallest hint of fingertips sticking out from behind the wall. They were on the ground, unmoving. 

 

Seokwoo moved his eyes back to Jintaek quickly, taking a step back towards his car so Jaejin would follow him, no longer near the mouth of the alley. But Seokwoo froze three steps back, realizing he couldn’t just lead Jintaek to his car.

 

Taeyang was in his car. Possibly Youngkyun was in that alley. And Jintaek was sitting here watching his every move like a hawk. 

 

“Jintaek, don’t you have a job to do?” Seokwoo spat at him, his nerves building up as he stood out in the cold, just waiting for Jintaek to leave. “We all have our own jobs to do.”

 

“I think I’ll look with you,” Jintaek decided, shrugging his shoulders with a smile. 

 

Seokwoo exhaled, blinking up at the sky before stepping up to Jintaek. He didn’t tower over the man, but he was certainly taller than him. He grabbed onto the collar of Jintaek’s shirt, smiling at him with the most bittersweet smile he could force onto his face. 

 

“No, you won’t,” Seokwoo told him, smiling more so as he tugged on his shirt, jerking Jintaek around with it. “Because I don’t want trash like you anywhere near Taeyang.”

 

“I knew you still cared for that shit.”

 

“And I know you’re still up Cheolmin’s ass. Tell me, Jintaek, didn’t you screw around with his wife that one time?”

 

Jintaek furrowed his brows at Seokwoo, taking a step back with disgust.

 

“I don’t think I would have any reason to lie to him. So really, do you think he would believe me? I might just want to try it, see if he really believes me,” Seokwoo threatened.

 

“You’ll never last at this company.”

 

Seokwoo leaned down to Jintaek’s ear, so close he could feel his own breath on Jintaek’s skin. “Have you ever killed someone before?” Seokwoo asked, smirking as he spoke it. “Because I have. I pushed someone off a bridge. They were on Cheolmin’s hit list, of course, so it’s not like someone wouldn’t have killed them sooner or later. Oh, but it felt so nice to see the fear in their eyes as I pushed them off. I watched him fall into Han River, and then I watched weeks later as they pulled his body out, thanks to my tip of course.”

 

Jintaek took a step back with a look of fear in his eyes, like the person standing in front of him was a monster. 

 

“You say I won’t last at this company? Well, how long will you last if you keep getting involved in my business?” Seokwoo asked, tilting his head with a raised eyebrow. “You better go before I get any ideas.”

 

“You knew he wasn’t dead…”

 

“I didn’t know for sure,” Seokwoo admitted with a shrug. “So go, run along and tell Cheolmin.”

 

Jintaek backed away slowly, moving into his car and starting it up immediately. Seokwoo flinched away from the light, watching as Jintaek drove away, speeding down the road.

 

Then Seokwoo let out the breath of air he had been holding in his lungs through that entire conversation.

 

He felt dirty for saying he enjoyed killing that person, because he really didn’t. He had also lied, because the man was unconscious when he dumped him into the river. The man had killed a little girl and her father for drugs, which originally got him on that list. But still, Seokwoo had only knocked him out before dumping him in the river. It was going to be funny when Jintaek realized Cheolmin knew about what he did, though. In fact, Cheolmin had ordered it.

 

Of course, Seokwoo felt worse, still, for pretending in front of Youngkyun that he didn’t know about Taeyang. He couldn’t give the boy another reason to hate him though, so he had faked his crying. He crossed a line when he killed that person, and he didn’t want Youngkyun to know how far he was across that line.

 

Seokwoo wiped his hands on his pants, looking down the street to make sure Jintaek’s car was gone before running down the alley, keeping his eyes on the stray hand the whole time. As he came closer and closer into view, he realized the man’s hair was brown, not blonde. It wasn’t Youngkyun.

 

Seokwoo ran up to the man, bending down at his side only to retract in shock as he recognized the face.

 

“Jae- Jaejin?”

 

Seokwoo moved forward, picking up the man’s bruised and bloody face to examine it. He looked bad. But who could have-

 

Seokwoo looked up to his side, his eyes falling to another body in front of him, one he recognized easily.

 

“Oh my god…”

 

Seokwoo stood up slowly, rushing over to Kinam’s side. He moved down to see him, but jumped back with a yell when he saw the hole in his head. Blood covered his head, dripping down the sides and pooling around him.

 

Seokwoo covered his mouth with his hand, forcing himself to remember how to breathe as he looked over his body. 

 

“Ki- Kinam. Kinam, oh my god. Oh my god.”

 

Seokwoo felt his eyes freezing on the boy. Kinam was one of their best. How could he- 

Seokwoo looked down the alley, his breath hitching in his throat as he saw another body, crumpled on the ground by the wall a ways down the alley. 

 

Seokwoo spared another glance at Kinam, stumbling away from him towards the other body. He tripped over his own feet as he moved toward the last body, falling to the ground with a grunt of pain. He cursed at himself, wiping his hands off on his shirt before looking up, freezing as he looked to the bloodied and unmoving body in front of him.

 

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Seokwoo mumbled, pushing himself over to the boy and moving his fingers to his neck. “Please, please, please, I’m begging you, please.” Seokwoo adjusted his fingers on Youngkyun’s blood covered neck, shaking as he began to panic.

 

“There’s no pulse,” he breathed out, eyes going wide. He pulled Youngkyun away from the wall, dragging him into the alley and ripping his jacket away. He saw the stain of blood on his shirt, causing his breath to catch in his throat and a wave of panic to shoot through his nerves.

 

Seokwoo moved his ear to Youngkyun’s mouth, waiting. He waited, and waited, but he wasn’t breathing. He wasn’t breathing.

 

“He’s not- he’s not breathing. He’s not breathing. What do I do? He’s not breathing,” Seokwoo panicked, positioning Youngkyun to lie flat on his back. 

 

Seokwoo moved his hands to Youngkyun’s chest quickly, pumping down on his chest with panicked breaths and shaky arms.

 

“Oh god, please don’t be dead,” Seokwoo begged, pressing on his chest. “Please don’t be dead. Please- oh my god, please. Youngkyun, please.”

 

He pressed down on his chest again, and again, and again, feeling his eyes water with fear as he stared at Youngkyun’s lifeless body in front of him. “Youngkyun please!” Seokwoo cried, begging through the tears that fell as he tried to bring the boy back to life. “Please, please. You can’t die like this. Taeyang didn’t say you could die.”

 

Seokwoo pressed down on his chest again, biting on his tongue as he leaned down to Youngkyun’s mouth, waiting for any sign that he was breathing. 

 

He shook his head to himself, moving his hands back to Youngkyun’s chest and continuing compressions. “Youngkyun… Youngkyun please,” Seokwoo begged. “You’re all Taeyang has, now. You mean a lot to him. You mean a lot to Chanhee. They need you. They need you, Youngkyun. You can’t go like this. Nobody said you could go. Nobody gave you permission to die,” Seokwoo begged through his tears as he pressed on Kyun’s chest, just thinking about how Taeyang would feel if he woke up in a world without Youngkyun, if he woke up knowing Youngkyun had died for him.

 

“Taeyang’s waiting for you,” Seokwoo told him, pressing down on his chest again. “So you have to wake up and meet him. You have to. Please, Youngkyun, don’t leave him alone like this.”

 

Seokwoo moved his fingers to Youngkyun’s neck again, losing faith as he searched for a pulse. He exhaled with a shaky breath as he placed his fingers on another spot, looking for any sign of life. “Please,” he begged painfully.

 

Then it was there. It was small, but it was there. It was so slow, that it was barely noticeable, but it was there.

 

Seokwoo’s eyes went wide as he stared down at Youngkyun, gaping at him. He moved his ear to Youngkyun’s chest, listening to his quiet heartbeat. 

 

“Oh thank god,” Seokwoo cried out under his breath, feeling water build up in his eyes as he pulled Youngkyun’s arms through the sleeves of his jacket, slipping it out from under his body. He tied the sleeves as tightly around his waist as he could, making sure to tie it with so many knots that it could never come out on its own. It wasn’t ideal, but he needed it to keep the pressure on him.

 

He moved his ear to Youngkyun’s chest again, feeling relieved as he found his heartbeat again. He slipped his arms carefully under Youngkyun legs and shoulders, making sure to be as careful with him as physically possible. He picked him up slowly, wincing as he pulled the boy into his chest.

 

“I’ve got you,” Seokwoo mumbled to him, walking as quickly and steadily to his car as he could. He stepped around Kinam, biting on the inside of his cheek as he left, leaving his own partner behind. It didn’t matter anymore. Kinam was dead. No use dwelling on it. “You better live to make it to the hospital, you understand?” Seokwoo scolded him, making his way with a relieved sigh to his car. He bent down with Youngkyun in his arms, slowly opening the back door with a struggle. He laid Youngkyun on the seat carefully, holding his breath as he folded his legs up on the seat. “You better live to see Taeyang again. He’ll kill me if you don’t.”

 

Seokwoo got in his seat quickly, not even bothering to care about his blood stained hands smudging all over the steering wheel of his car. He sped off, driving as carefully and as quickly as he could. He pulled to a slow stop in front of the 7-eleven on Garak-ro, watching as Chanhee moved over with a look of relief.

 

Seokwoo got out of his car quickly, pulling open every door of Chanhee’s car as fast as he could.

 

“Seokwoo… Seokwoo is that blood?” Chanhee asked from behind him with a shaky voice. Seokwoo turned to Chanhee, walking up to him but not touching him. 

 

“I need you to do something for me, okay?”

 

“Is that… is that your blood?”

 

“Chanhee, you need to listen to me,” Seokwoo told him with a soft voice, pulling his attention up to his eyes. “I need you to listen to me, okay?” Chanhee nodded with a glazed look in his eyes. “If I bring them out of Songpa-gu, they  _ will _ get caught. So I need you to take them.”

 

“You… you found Youngkyun?” Chanhee asked, eyes going wide.

 

Seokwoo nodded, looking back to his car. “Don’t freak out,” he warned him, moving swiftly back to his car and pulling the door open. He pulled Youngkyun’s legs out first, hearing a gasp behind him as he pulled Youngkyun into his arms. He held his breath as he held Youngkyun, making sure not to move him in any way that could hurt him.

 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” Chanhee mumbled as Seokwoo carried Youngkyun over to Chanhee’s car. He could only imagine how Chanhee felt, seeing his best friend coated in blood. There wasn’t a single patch of skin on the boy that wasn’t covered with smeared blood or dirt, and his chest barely moved as he breathed.

 

“Chanhee, put something over your seat.”

 

“Oh my god. Kyun…”

 

“CHANHEE! You need to focus!” Seokwoo yelled, watching Youngkyun sit still in his arms. “He could still die!”

 

“Cover… to cover the… the seat,” Chanhee mumbled to himself with a nod, pulling a towel from the trunk and spreading it over the seat.

 

Seokwoo placed Youngkyun down in the back seat carefully, wincing as he stumbled a bit. He caught his balance with a hitch in his throat, making sure Youngkyun was set so he wouldn’t fall off the seat.

 

“What happened to him?” Chanhee asked, staring at his motionless body as Seokwoo ran back to his car. He pulled the blanket away from Taeyang, pulling him out of the car much more harshly.

 

“Help me,” Seokwoo told him, letting Chanhee hold up one side of Taeyang while he held up the other. They walked him over to the passenger seat, sitting him in it like a person who had just simply fallen asleep. Seokwoo secured the seat belt around him,worriedly looking around him to Youngkyun again. He reached over the boy, opening the small compartment in the center of the car and pulling out one of Youngkyun’s simple black masks. He hooked it around Taeyang’s ears, making sure it didn’t cover his nose so he could still breathe easily. He pulled the hood of his jacket over his head, and tightened the strings so it wouldn’t fall off.

 

Seokwoo moved over to Chanhee afterwards. “My hands are covered in blood. I need you to grab my ID badge in the glove box,” he told him. Chanhee nodded with a blank expression, stumbling over to Seokwoo’s car and finding the badge quickly and holding it tightly to his chest. “I need you to drive out of Songpa-gu. You’re going to pass police barricades, though. Don’t open the windows, not even your own,” Seokwoo ordered him. “If they get too close to the car, honk the horn.” Chanhee nodded shakily as he spoke, looking like he was barely taking in what he was saying. “When you get there, press this badge against the window. It doesn’t matter if you don’t look like me, they’ll let you through without question. If they don’t, speed through,” Seokwoo told him.

 

Chanhee nodded, biting his lip as he did. His eyes glazed over, staring at the ground in front of him like he would magically know exactly what to do from staring at it. 

 

“Hey, Chanhee, you can do this, okay?”

 

“Why can’t you do it?” Chanhee asked with a crack in his voice.

 

“Jintaek already stopped my car tonight. I can’t risk that happening again. It’s too suspicious if I leave now.”

 

“Where do I go?”

 

“The hospital,” Seokwoo told him. “Go to Bestian Hospital, just South West of Songpa-gu, okay? Ask for Im Hyunki, okay? Refuse service by anybody else. Ask for Im Hyunki. Tell him I sent you, and tell him if information about this patient gets out… well… let his imagination go wild. Don’t bring Taeyang inside until Youngkyun has a fixed room, okay?”

 

“Wha- what if Taeyang wakes up?” Chanhee asked, looking back to his car with a nervous glance.

 

Seokwoo reached into his car quickly, grabbing the small rag from his dashboard. He handed it to Chanhee, who just let it be shoved into his hands without looking to see what it was. “If Taeyang wakes up, chloroform him again. Now hurry. Youngkyun doesn’t have much time left.”


	29. Is Youngkyun Coming Back?

Chanhee dug his hands through his hair, pulling at the roots as he sat, hunched over in his chair, outside the emergency room. His face was so numb from crying that he wasn’t sure if he was even still crying or not. He knew he was tired though. He was so tired that he thought he might pass out from exhaustion right in this chair.

 

He wasn’t sure how he had held himself together through most of the night, but he guessed most of it was due to shock. Nothing in this world could have prepared him to see Youngkyun, bloody and on the verge of death, limp in Seokwoo’s arms.

 

He had managed to drive all the way to the edge of Songpa-gu, flashing Seokwoo’s ID just like he had been told to. It was incredible how they let him pass without even peeking in his windows, but he was grateful. 

 

He had run into the hospital, demanding to see Im Hyunki, and had dragged him out to the car, demanding that he help his friend. He wasn’t sure how long he stood outside the emergency room after that, but he knew that was when the realization finally settled in. After the adrenaline had drained from his system, and when he was alone with nothing to keep his mind busy but the thoughts of possible outcomes, he realized how real the situation was. He was standing outside of the emergency room, not knowing if Youngkyun would come out again. 

 

Chanhee exhaled, blinking away the stiff feeling in his eyes as he dragged his hand over his face. He was so tired, but he was afraid to fall asleep. As long as Youngkyun was in there, all alone, Chanhee would stay awake here, supporting him, even if it was from a distance. He would be strong for Youngkyun.

 

He had been outside the emergency ward for about an hour now, but he was only guessing since he hadn’t looked at the clock when he came in. 

 

Sitting out here, with nothing to do but think, really made Chanhee realize how stupid he had been these past few weeks. He knew Youngkyun had been suffering, even when he pretended he wasn’t. Most nights, he didn’t want to leave him on his own. But he also had figured it was mostly just Youngkyun’s insomnia returning. Chanhee knew he had had terrible experiences with sleep in his past, because Youngkyun always came to school with bags under his eyes when they were younger. He thought, maybe, the recent events had given him some bad dreams, and had shaken him up a bit. He really hadn’t understood the gravity of it all.

 

It wasn’t until Seokwoo pulled Youngkyun out like that, covered in his own blood, that he realized how much pain Youngkyun must have been in those four weeks. His best friend in the world hadn’t even put a second of thought into going out looking for Taeyang, and he had a feeling he knew how dangerous it could have been. He had woken up screaming, and it was hard for Chanhee to really imagine what Youngkyun must have been going through all that time he wasn’t with him.

 

Youngkyun had told him about Insik dying, but he had said so little about it, that Chanhee figured he must have just… known somehow. Chanhee was starting to think he was there to see it, now. Chanhee was starting to think a lot of things. He was beginning to think, maybe, Youngkyun still hadn’t told him every part of his story. There were details missing, and those details held the most scars for Youngkyun.

 

Chanhee felt useless, like he had done nothing but push Youngkyun over the edge through those weeks. Youngkyun had said he loved Taeyang, but he didn’t think Youngkyun really meant it until he got himself into trouble just to save him. 

 

Chanhee should have listened more. He shouldn’t have pushed so many of the things Youngkyun said off, like he was exaggerating or overreacting. Youngkyun had been telling the truth, hiding things even then. And Chanhee had done little to nothing to help him. Chanhee couldn’t help but feel part of the reason he was in that emergency room now was because of him.

 

“Chanhee?”

 

Chanhee looked up, knowing without even looking in a mirror that his hair was sticking up in every direction, having been pulled every which way without a care in the world to how much it hurt his scalp. He was realizing now how much he had really pulled at his hair.

 

“I forgot,” Chanhee admitted, leaning back into his chair. “You weren’t supposed to wake up.” He wanted to care, but he just couldn’t bring himself to.

 

“I’m awake,” Taeyang told him, walking slowly over to the chair next to him. Chanhee didn’t mind the company. In fact, it felt nice to have someone by his side to talk to. “I’m a bit foggy, though,” he admitted.

 

“How did you know where to find me?” Chanhee asked quietly. “I didn’t leave a note.”

 

“I asked the lady at the desk,” he admitted quietly, pulling his hands into his lap. 

 

They two boys fell into silence, just staring at the empty space in front of them. Chanhee wanted to ask if Taeyang knew what happened, but he didn’t want to be the one to tell him if he didn’t. However… now that Chanhee thought about it, why was it anybody else’s job?

 

“Chanhee?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Is Youngkyun coming back?”

 

Chanhee looked to his side to face Taeyang, finding nothing but a blank stare on his face and a single tear falling down his cheek. 

 

“I just got him back,” he continued quietly. “I just- I don’t want him to go away again.” Taeyang stuck his tongue through his lips, blinking as he moved his eyes down to his lap, where his fingers sat fiddling together in his lap. 

 

“How did you know he got hurt?” Chanhee asked. “Were you there?”

 

Taeyang shook his head, moving his hand up to wipe away the tears as they started to fall from his cheeks. “I wasn’t there,” he stated with a crack in his voice. “I saw the blood in your car, though.”

 

Chanhee nodded, staring down at his lap.

 

“I’m sorry, Taeyang.”

 

“Does that mean he isn’t coming back?”

 

“The doctors said they don’t know,” Chanhee admitted, feeling guilty for not crying when he was talking about his own best friend, but he just felt so drained. He wasn’t sure if he had any more tears left in him. “He lost a lot of blood,” Chanhee explained. “The doctor told me he had to go into surgery immediately. I think the bullet hit something important.”

 

He heard Taeyang’s breath hitch in his throat beside him. He didn’t look over to watch him cry, but just put his arm around Taeyang’s shoulders. The boy bent over, elbows on his knees as tears fell, one by one. His chest moved up and down unevenly as he sobbed quietly, and Chanhee felt so bad. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” he told him, again. “I should have listened to him more. I should have stayed by his side more. I should have just been there for him,” Chanhee admitted, finding the tears coming to his eyes anyways. 

 

“I just want him back,” Taeyang said through his sobs, leaning into Chanhee’s side with wet eyes. “I just want him back. I don’t care if I never even get to see him again, I just want him to be okay.”

 

“And he just wanted you to be okay,” Chanhee told him. “I’ve never seen him want something more than your safety, before.” Chanhee moved his hand to wipe his eyes, but the tears kept falling anyways. 

 

“I love him,” Taeyang cried into his shoulder. “Chanhee, I love him. I just… I want him to know how much I love him.”

 

“He already knows,” Chanhee promised, leaning his head on Taeyang’s as his tears began to fall again. “He knows. I promise he knows.”

 


	30. For Saving Me

Everything felt so slow, like his entire system was rebooting. He could feel himself coming back to consciousness, but he didn’t feel awake. It was like how he tried to move his fingers, and felt nothing but a shock traveling up his arm from the small twitch he managed to accomplish. He couldn’t even move his eyes, never mind open them. He wanted to open his mouth, maybe get a drink of water, but he couldn’t even properly remember the taste of water.

 

It was hard for him to remember where he was, or what had even happened. He wasn’t quite sure why he even felt like he was learning how to use his body for the first time. 

 

It took quite some time for his consciousness to pull itself together enough to really pull his mind out of the abyss it had fallen into. He felt his own thoughts finally starting to string together in his mind, finally making sense to him, even if they were still a bit blurry in the mental sense. 

 

He wanted to move his fingers, but he had to think really hard to remember how to even do that. Eventually, he felt the small shock of a twitch burst up his arm, giving him a tiny sense of satisfaction, even if he couldn’t smile. 

 

He twitched his finger a few more times, not caring how long the time periods in between were. Eventually, he found himself wiggling his toes, going from tiny twitches to fluid motions. He wasn’t sure why the slightest movement felt like such a feat to him, but he really did feel proud to be doing it. 

 

He wasn’t sure how long it took after that, slowly, oh so very slowly, he felt his eyelids start to twitch, gently letting a soft orange glow flood into his vision. He blinked himself awake, taking in the blurry splotches of color around him. He couldn’t really rub his eyes, so he just blinked slowly until his vision began to clear, leaving him with the vision of a nice looking room that reminded him of a hospital, drenched in a soft orange glow from the corner somewhere. The room looked mostly dark, so he had to assume it was night time. 

 

It felt nice to breathe again, like he had spent time not breathing on his own. Then again, something trapped around his mouth felt like he was having air forced into his lungs, but he really didn’t mind the extra help. He almost wanted to say thank you. Feeling his own body move again was a nice feeling, and he could feel the small smile forming on his face as he thought about it. He was proud of himself, and he didn’t even know why.

 

It felt hard to turn his neck, so he just slowly let his head drift to the side, shifting on the pillow with a soft sound.

 

Taeyang sat beside him, curled up against the side of his bed with his arms folded under his head. Youngkyun felt bad knowing his arms would go numb from sitting in that position.

 

Youngkyun opened his mouth to say something, but it was hard for him to use his voice. 

 

“Te-ng,” he scratched out, barely audible to even him. His throat felt so dry, and trying to use his words sent a wave of dizziness to his head.

 

Youngkyun closed his eyes, trying to clear the feeling before looking to Taeyang again.

 

“Tae-ng,” he tried again, his voice unchanging from his first attempt.

 

“Taeyng,” he spoke, the ‘y’ coming out clearer, like it was breaking through the scratchy film covering his voice.

 

“Taeyang,” he repeated, hearing his voice becoming just a tad bit clearer, but still so quiet.

 

“Taeyang,” he said again, his voice cracking into sound as he said it. 

 

Taeyang flinched at the sound, lifting his head with tired eyes. He seemed to just blink at Youngkyun, eyes widening slowly as he met his eyes. Youngkyun gave him a small smile as Taeyang’s face filled with what he hoped was shock, not fear. 

 

“Kyun?” he asked, shooting up to his feet as he reached out for Youngkyun’s face, tracing his fingers along his cheeks like it was hard to believe. His eyes traveled from Youngkyun’s face to the monitors above him, looking back down at him with amazement.

 

He reached forward, pressing a button on the side of his bed like his life depended on it.

 

“Don’t worry,” he told him. “A doctor will be here in a second to check on you. He’s a good doctor. He’s taking care of you,” Taeyang told him with a smile, eyes so bright he felt a light feeling in his chest, like pure happiness or appreciation. He really did love his smile.

 

“Am I…”

 

“Don’t talk,” Taeyang told him, cutting him off with a smile. “The doctor said you shouldn't talk. And I can tell it hurts.”

 

Youngkyun forced himself to pout, letting his eyes travel around the room he was in.

 

“You’re in the hospital,” Taeyang explained to him. 

 

Honestly, Youngkyun should have been able to put that together way before now.

 

The door to his other side opened, but he was very exhausted and didn’t really feel like moving his head. And as much as he loved seeing Taeyang’s smile, he felt like he would really enjoy a nap.

 

“Hello Mr. Kim,” the doctor introduced, stepping in Taeyang’s place beside his bed.

 

“No,” Youngkyun forced out, stretching his fingers out for Taeyang even though he could feel his muscles becoming weak again, his eyelids drooping back in a sleepy like fashion. “My.”

 

The doctor gave him a light laugh, moving aside a bit so Taeyang could sit on the edge of his bed. That made Youngkyun very happy. He shook his finger up and down a bit, waiting for Taeyang to take his hand. It was hard to move his head back and forth between the doctor and Taeyang, but he needed to make sure Taeyang was there with him. He gave a small smile as Taeyang took his hand. It was a warm feeling, which kind of only made him want to take a nap even more than before.

 

However, he really wished he was able to stay awake for the rest of the doctor visit, because he really would have liked to know why he was in the hospital.

 

↔

 

The next time Youngkyun had woken up had been much easier. He didn’t need to spend god knows how long just forcing himself to function properly. This time, he let his eyes flutter open. Taeyang wasn’t by his side this time, nor was Chanhee. The doctor was though, giving him a pleasantly surprised smile as he stepped back from the machine he must have been working with. 

 

“Hello, there,” the doctor said with a smile.

 

“Hi,” Youngkyun responded with a scratchy voice and a small smile. 

 

“I’m Doctor Im, but you can call me Hyunki,” he introduced.

 

“Hi, Hyunki,” Youngkyun responded with a rough voice and a tired smile. 

 

“Are you tired?” Hyunki asked, to which Youngkyun managed to push out a ‘yeah’. Hyunki nodded. “That is to be expected. You spent a lot of time on drugs, and most of them haven’t worn off yet. You’re on painkillers right now.”

 

“Why?” Youngkyun asked, blinking up innocently at Hyunki.

 

“Well, you were shot in your lower abdomen.”

 

Youngkyun’s eyes widened in shock, his body immediately reacting by lurching forward in a panicked gag, which caused a ripple of pain to travel up his side. He instantly felt like his head was exploding, the memories of Kinam rushing back into his mind while his wound throbbed with pain. Hyunki moved to his side immediately, patting his back like a baby and holding him still. Youngkyun felt like his head had just ripped in half as he choked out in struggled breaths.

 

“Try not to move like that again,” Hyunki suggested, quickly moving to his face and adjusting the breathing mask he hadn’t even realized he was wearing until now. The doctor pressed lightly on his shoulders as his eyes focused on nothing but the empty feeling of the room, lowering him lightly back to the bed. “We want to get you moving again, but you should go slow. Try to relax, okay? Even your breathing, and focus on me, okay?” Hyunki said, more like it was a demand phrased as a question. Youngkyun could feel the pain in his wound, like it had felt when the bullet first found his body. He could hear the sound of the gun going off before he had even realized what happened. He could see Kinam falling, a bullet in his head while the gun sat in his hands. “Watch my fingers,” Hyunki told him, snapping once to drag his attention to his hand. Youngkyun tried his best to hold his attention to Hyunki’s fingers, watching as he moved them back and forth in a calming like motion. Maybe it was the way he had just woken up, or the fact that he was still on drugs, but his attention shifted easily. The panic resonated in his chest, and his breathing wasn’t completely even, but he was able to force his eyes to focus on Hyunki’s hand. “Can I check your wound?” he asked, seeing Youngkyun drastically calmed down.

 

“Please keep focusing on your breathing as I check,” Hyunki requested, holding onto his shoulder lightly. Youngkyun nodded slowly, taking a deep breath in and a deep breath out. He followed Hyunki’s movements, doing exactly as he said. “Are you prone to panic attacks?” he asked as he examined the wound, having calmed Youngkyun down significantly.

 

Youngkyun nodded, feeling absolutely sick to his stomach.

 

“Well, if you can, try to stay away from stress for the next few weeks,” Hyunki told him. “You want your wound to heal well, so small and slow movements will help that well. Heavy breathing and lurching forward like that could be damaging.” 

 

“I can’t control it,” Youngkyun scratched out, really becoming irritated with his own voice. “Can I... drink water?”

 

“I’ll get you an IV,” Hyunki told him. “The IV should keep you hydrated. Soon after that we’ll let you try drinking.”

 

“Thanks,” Youngkyun told him.

 

“How often would you say you have panic attacks?” Hyunki asked him.

 

“Depends,” Youngkyun answered honestly.

 

“Lately,” Hyunki clarified.

 

“Every other... day or so,” Youngkyun told him honestly. 

 

“What usually causes them?” Hyunki aksed. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

 

“Guns,” Youngkyun told him honestly, biting his lip as he did. There was no reason for him to lie to his doctor right now, especially since he was sitting in front of him like he was. “When I sleep.”

 

“Well, you’ll be under lots of medicine for the next week or so, so sleeping shouldn’t be a problem for you.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, looking to his lap where he was covered in a white hospital blanket. He hated the fact that he was in the hospital. It was still hard for him to recall exactly how he got here, and he would try to think about it more, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to forget as long as he possibly could.

 

“And you should know, Mr. Kim, that you are a survivor. You lived, so there is nothing to be scared of now. You are recovering, and soon you’ll be able to walk around like nothing happened.”

 

“How?” Youngkyun asked, looking up to the doctor. “How did I live?” He couldn’t remember much aside from Kinam, but he remembered the feeling of knowing he was going to die. He remembered the pain he felt when he thought that, and the sadness that came over him when he realized it. He would never forget that feeling for the rest of his life.

 

“A man named Kim Seokwoo saved you,” Hyunki told him. “He said he found you without a pulse. He did CPR until your heart started again. You’re very lucky, Mr. Kim. Seokwoo saved your life.”

 

Youngkyun really couldn’t think of much else to do much exhale with a short nod, letting the words sink in. Seokwoo had saved his life. He had no pulse. He had been dead.

 

“How… how long have I been here?” Youngkyun asked quietly.

 

“Five weeks.”

 

Youngkyun turned to Hyunki with an exasperated expression, feeling his eyes go wide at the information. 

 

“Wha- what?”

 

“After your surgery, the doctors were unable to wake you. You’ve been in a coma for the past five weeks. You woke up once, three days ago.”

 

“A… a coma?”

 

Hyunki nodded, giving him a small smile as he sat in the chair beside him.

 

“Your friends left to get snacks. They should be back any moment. They’ve been here every single day with you. You have good friends.”

 

Youngkyun was really having a hard time processing anything Hyunki said now. Five weeks. He had been unconscious for five whole weeks.

 

Youngkyun looked up to Hyunki with glazed eyes, like he was asking how that was possible. He thought he would die. He really thought he would die, but instead he survived. He lived. If he thought he was going to die… how did his friends feel waiting all this time? Did they worry about him? Did they spend sleepless nights at his bedside fearing he would never wake up? He really hoped not.

 

The door behind him squeaked open, followed by the sound of snack bags dropping to the floor with a loud crash.

 

Youngkyun turned his head to the door, watching with wide eyes as Chanhee stood, empty handed and staring back at him. Taeyang and Seokwoo stood behind him, eyes wide with shock. It was like they were all frozen, completely unable to move.

 

Youngkyun couldn’t really think of anything to say, so instead he just gave them a gentle smile. He felt relieved seeing his friends all okay.

 

“Kyun…” Chanhee mumbled, taking a slow step forward before running over to him, wrapping his arms around him tightly and more or less throwing himself onto the bed in the hug.

 

Youngkyun made a surprised noise, not really wanting to move his arms because of all the needles and wires attached. He wanted to hug him back, though.

 

“Are you really awake? Did you really wake up?” Chanhee asked with a sniffle, burying himself into Youngkyun’s shoulder.

 

“I woke up,” Youngkyun promised. “I’m not dead, yet.”

 

“You’re not allowed to do that!” Chanhee cried, heaving forward and sobbing into his shoulder. “You’re not allowed to scare me like that. I thought I was never going to see you again.”

“I’m sorry,” Youngkyun told him honestly, swallowing his guilt as he spoke. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re stupid. You’re so stupid, Kyun,” Chanhee told him, pulling away from the hug with red eyes and a stuffed up throat. He moved his hand to wipe his eyes, trying to clear the tears like he hadn’t drenched his face and Youngkyun’s shoulder. “We thought you weren’t gonna wake up.”

 

“I had to,” Youngkyun told him, looking to Seokwoo who still stood by the door, hands folded in front of him. “Seokwoo told me I had to.”

 

“You… you heard that?” Seokwoo asked, eyes widening as he stepped forward. He walked to his bedside carefully, looking at Youngkyun in wonder. “How did you…”

 

Youngkyun made his best attempt at shrugging, wincing a bit as he did. “I don’t remember feeling anything at the time. To be honest, I don’t even know when you said it,” Youngkyun admitted. “But you were right. I had someone waiting for me.”

 

Youngkyun moved his head to look past Seokwoo, finding Taeyang standing still by the door, eyes focused on the floor as he nearly backed himself into the corner.

 

“Tae,” Youngkyun called out, causing the boy to flinch a bit.

 

“I’m sorry,” Taeyang told him, his sadness and guilt evident through the heavy way he spoke. “I’m sorry, Kyun. This is my fault.”

 

“It’s not your fault,” Youngkyun told him. “It was my idea to split up, remember?”

 

“But you wouldn’t have been out there if-”

 

“Tae, come here,” Youngkyun told him, not letting him to speak anymore of his guilt out loud. Taeyang didn’t move, though, hugging his arms across his chest. “Tae, if we had gone together instead, do you think I would be happier?” 

 

Taeyang shook his head from the corner, not making any audible confessions. He sniffled, moving his hand up to wipe at his eyes.

 

“It’s your turn,” Youngkyun told him gently.

 

“If… if I hadn’t yelled at you back then… do you think this would have happened?”

 

Youngkyun lightly bit on his lip, flipping the question over in his mind. 

 

“I don’t know,” Youngkyun told him. “If they had found us when Seokwoo and Chanhee weren’t there to help us, things might have turned out even worse.”

 

Taeyang didn’t move from his spot, just letting Youngkyun’s words reach him gently.

 

“Tae, come here,” Youngkyun told him, speaking in a soft voice even with the scratches that came out with it.

 

Slowly, Taeyang moved across the room, dragging his feet as he walked to the side of Youngkyun’s bed. He stood behind Seokwoo and Chanhee, who both moved out of the way to let him through. He didn’t come closer, though.

 

“Tae, I just woke up from a coma. I don’t really think I can walk to you,” Youngkyun stated with a light laugh, ignoring the pain it caused as he tilted his head. Slowly, Taeyang began to take careful steps forward. He reached the end of Youngkyun’s bed slowly, but Youngkyun didn’t rush him. “I’m okay,” he promised the boy. “See? Look at me, I’m okay.”

 

Taeyang didn’t lift his eyes to see him, instead, collapsing into his chest, wrapping his arms around him carefully and pulling him to his chest. He started sobbing into the hug, crying out as he held Youngkyun close to him.

 

“I missed you,” Youngkyun whispered, causing Taeyang to choke out a sad laugh.

 

“You were unconscious. You didn’t even know you were asleep,” Taeyang pointed out.

 

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you,” Youngkyun responded, tilting his head onto Taeyang’s in a small hug.

 

“I missed you too,” Taeyang mumbled, barely audible to anyone but Youngkyun. It was okay, though, because nobody else needed to hear it but him.

 

↔

 

“How did you even get me into this hospital for five weeks without FNC finding me?” Youngkyun asked, raising his arm for a bag of chips. Chanhee picked one off the table, tossing it to him carefully. He almost caught it, pouting as it bounced off of his hand and into his lap. 

 

“We used the documents Jaejoong gave me,” Taeyang told him with a smile, leaning back on the guest couch with a mouth full of fish crackers.

 

“Wait, so I’m put down as Kim Hwiyoung, then?” Youngkyun asked, receiving a nod from all three boys in the room. “But Hyunki heard you guys call me by my name. Is that bad?”

 

“Hyunki is a friend of mine,” Seokwoo told him, dabbing a napkin to his mouth after realizing he spoke with his mouth full. “We went to school together, and he’s on my side. He won’t tell anyone.”

 

“Has anyone come by looking for me?” Youngkyun asked, moving his hands to the bag in front of him, slowly ripping the packaging apart. 

 

“Jintaek did,” Seokwoo informed him. “He saw me here when he came by, too. He got real mad. He knew I was hiding you here, but all the doctors told him there were no gunshot patients, and I told him I was visiting an old friend, so he just left.”

 

“The whole hospital lied for you?” Youngkyun asked in amazement, moving his hand to pick at his snack when he had the depressing realization that he wasn’t supposed to be eating snacks. “Oh, this really sucks,” Youngkyun said, picking up the snack and tossing it to the bedside table with a pout. “How much longer do I have to be eating hospital food?”

 

“Until you can stay awake for more than five hours,” Seokwoo told him, causing Youngkyun to fold his arms across his chest in a bitter motion. The hospital food was nothing short of disgusting, and he wanted to eat butter cookies and fish crackers like his friends. It really sucked.

 

“It’s only been six days,” Chanhee pointed out. “Give it some time.”

 

“I think six days is plenty of time to recover,” Youngkyun countered. “I’m not even sleepy!”

 

“You literally just woke up less than an hour ago,” Seokwoo pointed out with a light laugh. Chanhee snorted, causing Youngkyun to look at his friend in pure betrayal. 

 

“Best friend applications… open,” Youngkyun stated, crossing his arms even tighter across his chest. 

 

“Aww, it’s okay,” Taeyang teased, placing his food on the table and wiping his hands clean. He bounced over to Youngkyun’s bed, urging him to scoot over and make room for him. Youngkyun rolled his eyes, scooting over slightly so the boy could fit on the edge with him. Taeyang put his arm around Youngkyun’s shoulders, and to his shock… he blushed.

 

What the fuck was that? Youngkyun just… blushed. He tried to look away from Taeyang, pretending like that had never happened. Absolutely disgusting.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Seokwoo said, licking his finger clean and wiping them on his napkin as he tried to make his point. Youngkyun sat, looking at him with raised eyebrows as he waited. “I did some digging,” he said, holding up his hands as he looked to Taeyang. “So, I found out who at FNC knew you were alive, and who didn’t.”

 

“Oh, I’d like to know, too,” Taeyang said. “Let’s see… Cheolmin, Jaejoong, you, and…?”

 

Youngkyun turned to Taeyang. “Seokwoo didn’t know you were alive,” he told him.

 

Seokwoo winced by his side. “I didn’t want you to get mad at me,” he defended. Youngkyun gaped at him as Taeyang tapped his shoulder with a smile.

 

“Unbelievable,” he breathed out with a shake of his head.

 

“Kinam knew, too,” Seokwoo told him. 

 

Youngkyun froze at the name, muscles going stiff as his eyes focused on his lap. He felt his nerves start to rush around, racing his mind a million miles an hour. His thoughts started to swim around each other, bringing forward a slight ringing in his ear as the images of Kinam falling in front of him came back to his mind, Oh, he had been trying not to think about that in front of his friends. He had been pushing that down for days now, telling himself that he would deal with it later.

 

“Hey, hey, hey, breathe, Kyun,” Seokwoo told him, rushing over to his side. “Like the doctor told you. In, out. In, out.”

 

“Wh- why is he… why is Kyun panicking?” Taeyang asked from his side, shifting in the bed to hold his shoulder. 

 

“Kyun, you need to focus.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, closing his eyes as he tried to calm himself down. It had only happened one other time while he was at the hospital, two days ago when Seokwoo was the only one watching him. Seokwoo and him had been talking about how he got to the hospital, and the mention of it all sent Youngkyun into a panic. The doctors had had to drug him again to calm him down. Since then, he had really been trying not to think about it at all.

 

“It’s okay to think about it. Slow down your thoughts. Let it run its course, and let your thoughts slow down,” Seokwoo told him, guiding him through the panic as he had the last time.

 

Youngkyun nodded, wincing as he thought about Kinam. He had killed him. Youngkyun had killed him. He hated the guilt that ran through him, covering him completely.

 

“Slow down,” Seokwoo told him. “Think about how you’re alive. Think about how you made it out. Think about waking up, and how great that felt. Think about the better parts of it all.”

 

“Seokwoo, what’s wrong?” Chanhee asked, walking up to his side.

 

Youngkyun nodded, closing his eyes and letting the anxiety pass. It would pass, it always did. He thought about how he had to do it, convincing himself that there was no other way. He wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t done it. Taeyang wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t done it. It wasn’t right, but he didn’t have another choice. He just had to convince himself it was worth it, and that it wasn’t for nothing.

 

“That’s right,” Seokwoo said with a calming pat to the shoulder. “There you go. Breathe. Let it all out.”

 

“What the fuck was that?” Chanhee asked, leaning over to see Youngkyun. “What’s wrong?”

 

Youngkyun opened his eyes with a thick exhale, turning to narrow his eyes at Seokwoo.

 

“You didn’t tell them?”

 

“What exactly was I supposed to say?” Seokwoo asked with a nervous laugh. “I didn’t know what to say.”

 

“Well, what did FNC say about it?”

 

“FNC are saying it wasn’t self defense, that you attacked them. Jaejin is even lying to the court.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a nod, trying to focus on his shaky breathing. 

 

“Okay, yeah, so anyone want to tell us what happened?” Taeyang asked, raising an eyebrow at the two.

 

Seokwoo raised his hands up in innocence. “I don’t know the whole story.”

 

“Gee, thanks,” Youngkyun responded with a roll of his eyes. He turned to Taeyang slowly, then to Chanhee with a sigh. “Taeyang and I split up to get back to Garak-ro,” he started. “I was so close, but I ran into Jaejin. He hit me first, so we started really fighting. Eventually I got on top of him… and I just kept thinking about how I had to get back to Tae. I beat him pretty bad. Is he okay?” Youngkyun asked, lifting his head up to Seokwoo.

 

Seokwoo gave him a smile. “He’s pissed, and was covered in bruises, but he’s fine now.”

 

Youngkyun nodded. “That’s good. But… when I turned around to start running again… Kinam was standing there.”

 

“Isn’t Kinam the best fighter in FNC?” Taeyang asked Seokwoo with a raised eyebrow. “I heard nobody could beat him. Youngkyun how-”

 

“I shot him,” Youngkyun breathed out with one quick statement, letting himself release the breath he had been holding as he watched Taeyang freeze next to him. “I… he shot me… and I knew I couldn’t get out any other way. So- so I- I took Jaejin’s gun and-”

 

“Shh,” Taeyang told him, pulling him into his arms. Youngkyun hadn’t realized he had started crying until Taeyang was wiping the tears from his cheeks. “You don’t have to keep talking. It’s okay. Are you worried you turned out to be a bad person, like Jaejoong?” Taeyang asked, leaning his head down to Youngkyun’s level. He couldn’t help it, letting the tears fall as he nodded. “You did that in self defense. Would Jaejoong have died if he didn’t do what he did?” Youngkyun shook his head, thinking about nothing but the way he held the gun, pulling the trigger and watching Kinam fall on the other end. “Would you have died if you didn’t do that?” Youngkyun bit on his lip, slowly nodding. “Then you’re not a bad person. You were protecting yourself.”

 

“Kinam is… dead. He’s dead because of me.”

 

“And Kinam was a bad person,” Taeyang told him, pulling him deeper into his arms. “He would have hurt more people. Maybe he would have hurt me. But he won’t now. You might have just saved me, Kyun.”

 

Youngkyun broke down, crying into Taeyang’s chest as Kinam filled his thoughts. 

 

“Thank you for saving me, Kyun. I promise, I’ll do whatever it takes to save you, too.”


	31. The Throne

“Thank god,” Youngkyun moaned with a smile, bouncing on his feet with a wide smile as he pushed the clipboard back over the desk, officially having signed himself out of the hospital.

 

Chanhee and Taeyang cheered behind him, giving him wide smiles.

 

He was so happy to finally be out. God, he felt like he hadn’t been outside of the hospital in forever. It had taken him five weeks just to wake up, which was annoying on its own. It had taken him another week just to get up and moving, and another two weeks for him to be able to walk on his own without leaning on anything. He blamed his wound for taking so much time to accomplish that. Then, even after that, he had to stay at the hospital for another three weeks, which  _ really _ sucked, because all he could do all day was watch the weatherman talk about how warm it was getting outside. It was May already, and spring had begun weeks ago, yet he hadn’t been allowed to go outside unless he was on the roof of the hospital, which didn’t really feel like being outside to him.

 

It was amazing to think he had spent close to three months around this stupid hospital, just because he had a little hole in his side. It definitely scarred, leaving a big line across his body where the doctors had stitched him up after removing the bullet. They had offered to give him the bullet to keep, like some kind of souvenir, but that was honestly the very last thing in the entire world he wanted to keep. 

 

“Here,” Chanhee said, holding a mask out in each hand for them. Youngkyun sighed, his rain of happiness ended quickly as he hooked the mask around his ears. Taeyang just took his like it was part of him now, slipping it over his face like a dulling routine. Chanhee smiled at the both of them, walking them out to his car. He made Youngkyun sit in the front because it had the airbag and according to him, Youngkyun was more ‘fragile’ than Taeyang, and needed extra care. Youngkyun didn’t complain, only because he liked the front seat better. Chanhee also made Taeyang sit behind his seat so he could watch him through the rearview mirror like a child.

 

“I feel like a baby, and I’m the oldest one in this vehicle,” Taeyang pointed out with a pout as Chanhee began driving. 

 

“Not that any of you needed to know this,” Youngkyun started, looking back to make sure Taeyang was paying attention. “But those hospital gowns are the worst. I have never been so happy wearing pants in my life.”

 

Chanhee snorted from the driver’s seat as Taeyang gave him a smile.

 

“I feel relieved,” he continued. “I never want to even visit another hospital in my lifetime.”

 

“If you ever have to, I’m cancelling our friendship,” Chanhee told him with a laugh. “I can’t handle you anymore after that. You’ve already reached peak chaotic friend level.”

 

“I feel accomplished in life now.”

 

“That’s not something to be proud of.” 

 

Youngkyun smiled anyways, absolutely proud of himself.

 

“You know,” Chanhee spoke again, “you should really dye your hair again.”

 

“Me?” Youngkyun asked, reaching up to touch his blonde hair, which had now grown a bit longer, easily reaching the corners of his lips. He had his bangs swept back, like they had been when his hair was longer.

 

“Yeah, you. Incase you haven’t noticed, you’re the newest addition to FNC’s list of enemies,” Chanhee pointed out. “Maybe even cut your hair.”

 

“Only if you want to,” Taeyang jumped in, quickly assuring him that he didn’t need to cut it.

 

Youngkyun pulled down the visor on the passenger side, looking at his hair in the small mirror. The color had long began to fade, turning into a somewhat ashy blonde, with his roots popping out in his normal hair color. 

 

“It definitely needs to be dyed,” Youngkyun commented. “Because I really look like I just got out of the hospital.”

 

“Go blonde again!” Chanhee encouraged. “It looks surprisingly good on you. But if you stay blonde, you gotta cut it. Nothing changes it if you dye it blonde. Or you could go brown,” Chanhee suggested. “Kind of grow it back to normal?”

 

“Tae, what do you think?” Youngkyun asked, turning in his seat to show Taeyang his hair, as if he hadn’t seen it a million times before. “Cut? No cut? Blonde? Brown? Something else?”

 

“Why… why are you asking me?” Taeyang asked nervously. “It’s your hair. Plus, I thought you wouldn’t want to get it cut again. 

 

Youngkyun gave him a small look. “Mom liked it long, but I kind of like it short,” he replied, thinking about the last time he had seen his mother smile when he was younger. “I think she would be fine with me cutting it, especially if I liked it.”

 

“So… you want to cut your hair again?” Taeyang asked, giving him a small, proud smile, that made him feel like he could do anything. 

 

“... Yeah,” Youngkyun told him with a gentle smile, looking back to his mirror. “Blonde? Brown? Maybe black?”

 

“Brown, brown,” Taeyang encouraged. “The brown suits you nicely. I want to see it with short hair.”

 

“Are you cutting it again, then?” Youngkyun asked Taeyang, closing his visor.

 

“I mean, I could,” Taeyang said with a shrug. “Or we could call someone who could actually cut it like a professional.”

 

“We don’t want anyone to recognise us,” Youngkyun reminded him.

 

Taeyang shrugged. “I bet he wouldn’t tell anyone. Plus, you’ve met him!”

 

Youngkyun turned around to face Taeyang with a raised eyebrow. “Who…?”

 

↔

 

“TAEYANG!” 

 

Youngkyun took a small step back with wide eyes as the boy in front of him leaped into Taeyang’s arms, hugging him with all the might in the world. 

 

He looked away, surveying the room around him to check for any watching eyes, even though the store was empty, and the sign at the front clearly read “closed.”

 

“Good to see you again,” Taeyang told him with a smile, causing Youngkyun to turn his attention back to the blonde boy in front of him.

 

“Last time I saw you, you had red hair,” Youngkyun commented, bowing toward him. “It’s nice to meet you again, Inseong.” 

 

“Oh my god! I saw you on the news,” Inseong told him, moving over to him and pulling him into a hug. “Sorry about everything, assuming the news was right.”

 

“What did the news say?” Youngkyun asked as Inseong pulled away.

 

“Something about you being a murderer,” Inseong commented with a snort.

 

“And you… apologized? To me?” Youngkyun asked in confusion, looking to Taeyang as if to ask what was wrong with the boy. He bit down on his lip a bit to remind himself to breathe, but honestly, the hospital had helped a lot with that. Over the past month and a half, people had always been by his side when he woke up, or when he started to panic. He had people supporting him, and convincing him that he wasn’t at fault for anything. He felt calmer about the situation now. Not that it didn’t sting a bit when it was brought up, but he was able to hold a conversation without forgetting how to breathe now.

 

“Well, duh,” Inseong said with a shrug, smiling at him. “One less FNC person for me to deal with. Kinam wasn’t welcome here much anyways, or at least, not while I’m at the counter,” he commented with a carefree shrug. Youngkyun nodded along with what he said, trying not to let the boy’s words get to him. “Anyways, I have to assume you’re here to do something about this boy’s hair because, and I’m so sorry Youngkyun, but that just isn’t a look. I mean look at your  _ roots, _ ” Inseong said, walking up to Youngkyun to peek at his hair, picking around the strands like he was examining them.

 

“I thought you just worked with suits,” Youngkyun commented, raising an eyebrow at Taeyang.

 

“Oh, no,” Inseong said with a delightful laugh. “I’m a self proclaimed fashion expert, of course, but I’m also fantastic with hair and makeup. And I’ll never admit it to anyone else, but I’m also fantastic as sizing bras.”

 

“How would you even know that?” Youngkyun asked, unable to stop himself from laughing. Inseong just winked, placing his hand on Taeyang’s shoulder and leading him to the back of the shop, naturally assuming Youngkyun would follow. He did, of course.

 

“So, Tae, are you fixing that mop on your head?”

 

“Uh, my hair looks fine?” Taeyang stated, more like a question as he reached up to his hair to find something wrong about it. “I just cut it.”

 

“Okay but it’s just… sitting there,” Inseong commented, shivering as he lead himself into a dressing room, scraping a chair out to the center of the room. 

 

“Are you really going to cut my hair in the middle of a high quality tailoring shop?” Youngkyun asked in complete disbelief.

Inseong snorted, looking up to him like it was an obvious question. “Well I’m not gonna cut it in the FNC parking lot. Oh my god, wait, did you two even come here for me to cut your hair, or did I just decide I’m cutting your hair?”

“We’re here for a haircut,” Taeyang confirmed with a nod and a laugh.

“Okay good because, I’m sorry Youngkyun, but you need it. Don’t think I was going to let you leave here without one. Sit,” Inseong demanded, tapping the chair for Youngkyun to take a seat in.

“Do you plan to cut my hair with thread scissors?” Youngkyun asked with a light laugh.

“I mean, I cut it with craft scissors last time,” Taeyang reminded him with a shrug, standing off to the side and watching as Inseong hurried out of the room, returning with a small bag.

“Only fools don’t carry hair cutting scissors with them at all times,” Inseong said, digging his hand in the pocket of his bag and pulling out a pair of scissors with a smile, waving them around.

“And who exactly do you cut the hair of on a regular basis?” Taeyang asked with a short laugh, crossing his arms as Inseong stepped behind the chair, forcing Youngkyun’s head straight ahead.

“Fine, his name is Sanghyuk.”

“Like, the one who steals shit for a hobby?” Taeyang asked, raising an amused eyebrow at Youngkyun.

“Oh my god, you know him?”

“I’m surprised  _ you _ know him,” Youngkyun commented, moving his head a bit only for it to be immediately straightened out again by Inseong. He moved the scissors down to Youngkyun’s hair, carefully trimming away at the edges. Youngkyun was surprised to find the motion didn’t make him feel sick this time. “How did you meet?”

“That bitch broke into my house,” Inseong complained, leaving Taeyang to snort from where he stood at the side of the room.

“And you didn’t call the cops?”

“Why call the cops?” Inseong asked with furrowed brows. “They’re all sold out bitches, haven’t you heard? I mean, they said you were dead,” Inseong reminded them, turning to Taeyang with a shrug. “I take revenge personal.”

“So you just go around clipping his hair?”

“Oh, yes, it’s my favorite pastime,” Inseong replied with a giggle, brushing his fingers through Youngkyun’s hair. He paused for a moment, leaning down to sniff his hair which made Youngkyun flinch away with a disgusted look on his face. “You were in the hospital?”

“How the fuck did you know that from sniffing my hair?” Youngkyun asked, gaping at the boy.

“All hospital shampoo smells the same: stale. Don’t you worry, after I cut this disaster, you can go home and wash it up and make it smell all pretty and nice,” Inseong assured him, pushing his chin forward to straighten his head. “Then I’m taking the scissors to Taeyang’s head.”

“I just cut it!”

“Not enough,” Inseong replied, snipping away another section of Youngkyun’s hair.

“Hey, Inseong… thanks for taking us in for the afternoon,” Taeyang said with a smile.

Inseong rolled his eyes with a bashful smile. “Please, Tae, you’ve always taken my side since we were kids. Remember when that bitch Jintaek tried to blame me for his ruined suit, and you totally shut him down in front of the whole store?”

Taeyang giggled. “Yeah, and it was filled with all his coworkers.”

“That was funny,” Inseong agreed. “But you know I’ve always despised most of FNC, excluding your father. Sorry, by the way.”

Taeyang nodded, taking in a deep breath and licking his lips. “Shit happens,” he told the boy. Youngkyun made a note in his head to talk to Taeyang later, even knowing the boy had been avoiding it since he woke up, because that definitely wasn’t a ‘shit happens’ kind of issue.

“Honestly, the only reason I still work for FNC is because I’m afraid to say I won’t, not that it’s my decision anyways. But FNC are scary, man, Now that you’re gone, they’ve taken to the method of just threatening everybody who doesn’t agree with them,” Inseong informed them, moving to the side of Youngkyun’s head letting the scissors trim through his hair like he was a licensed professional. He made sure to make careful cuts, which Youngkyun really appreciated. “Tae, man, you gotta get that CEO spot back. I mean, not to put all the pressure on you, but the economy has turned into a criminal playground since Cheolmin claimed the throne. Everyone threatens everyone. Most people work for FNC now, and they’re bought or threatened into silence. Drugs are everywhere in Seoul, and they’re definitely spreading to other districts in noticeable amounts. Cops aren’t doing shit. I know of at least twenty five cases of drug involvement and criminal activity at bars and clubs that leads back to FNC which the cops haven’t touched. Nobody says anything. People complain about their city turning into a mosh pit of crime, and the governor says it’s all fine. And the fucked up part, is that everyone believes it. I know you’ve been gone for months. Hell, it’s been, what, six months since Cheolmin kicked you out? I don’t know how long you’ve been out of Seoul, but maybe you haven’t noticed how bad it’s gotten.”

Youngkyun honestly didn’t have the words to respond. He had been so concerned with how he and Taeyang were living, he didn’t even stop to think about how other people were being affected by FNC. Was it really that bad?

“Is there anything you can do?” Inseong asked, like he was hoping for an answer he knew he was unlikely to get.

“Maybe,” Taeyang said with a shrug. That was all he said. He didn’t comment on what Inseong said, and he certainly didn’t expand on whatever thoughts were running through his head.

 

↔

 

“I can’t believe we have to start staying in hotels again,” Youngkyun commented with a roll of his eyes.

“Well, if you stay at the school, you could be caught, especially Taeyang. Everyone still knows him,” Chanhee reminded him. “Also, Seokwoo gets frequent visits from FNC, so that’s out of the question.”

“I haven’t missed this,” Youngkyun stated with a shake of his head. “I haven’t missed the hotels. They all smell. I mean, they’re better than the hospitals, but that doesn’t mean I’m psyched to stay in them again.”

“Seoul hotels are better than Suwon hotels,” Seokwoo told them with a roll of his eyes, like Youngkyun was acting like a baby.

“Seoul hotels are more expensive,” Taeyang commented. “My dad’s bank account isn’t endless, you know.”

“Well, then find a place to stay,” Seokwoo suggested with a shrug. “Try for an apartment together, or something.”

“Oh yeah, lemme just get a job as a cashier and hope everyone who comes in is pleased to find me alive and breathing,” Taeyang said with a roll of his eyes. “And FNC definitely won’t notice Youngkyun in the crowd now.”

“Youngkyun’s hair looks nice though,” Seokwoo commented, reaching up to play with the short strands of his brunette hair. Youngkyun liked it too. Having it cut short again felt clean, like it hadn’t been growing out in a hospital for close to three months.

“How long do you think you guys can keep staying in hotels?” Chanhee asked, hands on his hips.

“Maybe a few months,” Taeyang guessed with a shrug. “But we won’t have much left after that. My father was rich, but taxes still exist, and hotels are expensive as fuck. And plus, we can’t just stay in saunas.”

“Man, you two are actually fucked,” Seokwoo said with a nod, wincing as he looked up at the hotel in front of them.

“I’m all open for ideas,” Taeyang told them.

“Get a new face,” Chanhee suggested, causing the group of them to snort and giggle like a bunch of little kids. “Good luck, though. And let’s meet often, okay? I want texts every day, and at least one meeting a week. No matter what,” Chanhee warned. He was running late for class, and Youngkyun knew he was in a rush to leave, but he almost wanted to invite him in to stay for a while. 

Youngkyun moved toward him, collapsing onto him in a hug with a giddy smile. “Love you, Chanhee.”

“Love you too, Kyun. And you better call.”

“I will, I will, I promise.”

“No more shitty, half assed letters.”

“My bad, my bad,” Youngkyun told him with a laugh, backing away from the smile with a hug. He was ready to move back to Taeyang’s side, when the boy ran past him and into Chanhee’s arms, engulfing him in a hug.

“Love you, Chanhee.”

Chanhee giggled, zapping Taeyang in the side until he jumped back.

“Love you too, idiot.”

“What about me?” Seokwoo asked, leaning down with a tilt of his head and a pout.

Chanhee rolled his eyes, standing on his tippy toes to peck Seokwoo on the cheek. “Love you, too.”

“GROSS!” Youngkyun commented, swatting the image away like a fly.

“Absolutely disgusting,” Taeyang added, holding his nose and swatting at the two boys.

Seokwoo turned to the two of them with an absolutely shocked look on his face. “My boyfriend can’t peck me on the cheek, but you two can get to second base in a closet?!”

“UNRELATED!”

“I don’t recall.”

Chanhee laughed as he watched the two boys yell about Seokwoo’s comment. Absolutely uncalled for. Youngkyun shook his head with red cheeks, hoping they would disappear quickly. It was weird, because their kiss had been brought up before, but Youngkyun never  _ blushed _ because of it.

“That’s what I thought.”

“That had a purpose, though!” Youngkyun defended.

“Under no circumstance did I need to walk in on that, and nothing you can say will prove me wrong.”

“If we didn’t, your goons would have dragged Kyun off to FNC!” Taeyang defended.

“Okay, let’s be honest then,” Seokwoo suggested.

“I don’t like this…” Youngkyun mumbled.

“Can you honestly tell me that was the  _ only _ time the two of you have kissed?”

Youngkyun hated the way the air between the four of them turned absolutely silent, broken by Seokwoo’s laugh.

“Taeyang! Your face!” he called as he laughed, bending over in hysterics as Taeyang’s face froze in a light shade of pink. He had to lean on Chanhee who was also struggling not to break down laughing just to avoid falling to the ground.

“That- that’s not fair,” Taeyang argued. Youngkyun had to agree. Absolutely uncalled for.

“Okay, okay, so when was the last time you kissed?”

“When we had to pretend to be a couple!” Youngkyun told them, pointing towards them as he said it. He felt a small tap on his shoulder.

“Well… well actually-“

Youngkyun’s face turned beat red as he remembered how he kissed Taeyang outside the 7-eleven. He had completely forgotten about that.

“I- uh. No?”

Chanhee couldn’t hold it back anymore, bursting into a fit of giggles as his face turned red from laughing.

“This isn’t funny anymore,” Youngkyun mumbled, feeling his ears go red with embarrassment. He turned to Taeyang. “And we don’t bring that up!”

Taeyang held his hands up in innocent defense.

“Come on, Seokwoo,” Chanhee encouraged. “I think they need some alone time.”

“That isn’t funny!” Youngkyun called out as Chanhee grabbed Seokwoo’s hand, pulling him back to the car with a laugh.

“It’s only funny because you’re embarrassed!” Chanhee called back to him, waving with a laugh as he swung himself into the car. Youngkyun refused to look at Taeyang by his side, walking straight to his bags sitting a few feet away, and carrying them straight into the hotel.

↔

“Hey, Tae, are you okay?” Youngkyun asked, patting his hair dry from his shower. He walked out into the main area of their room, sitting down on the bed across from Taeyang slowly.

Honestly, and this really confused Youngkyun, he was upset with their rooming situation right now. He had been fine with double bed rooms before, several times in fact, but right now he felt something close to disappointment that he would have his own bed. And under no circumstance was Youngkyun bringing up the idea of them sharing a bed anyways.

He hadn’t had a single dream since he woke up from his coma, which was fantastic because he was actually getting a decent amount of sleep. Of course, falling asleep sucked, because it was always dark. The dark sort of reminded him of Kinam.

If Youngkyun was being honest, he wasn’t okay. He thought about Kinam every single day, and most times he had to stretch his fingers out, reminding himself he wasn’t still holding the gun. He didn’t like the idea of going into alleys alone, and the concept of being by himself sent a shiver down his back.

But he knew everyone thought he was okay. He didn’t wake up screaming, and he didn’t have nightmares anymore. It was like they had just disappeared. So Taeyang would think he was fine, and so there was no reason for them to stay in the same bed.

In all honesty, there was no reason for them to stay in the same bed anyways, which is why Youngkyun felt really confused about his thoughts.

“I’m okay,” Taeyang replied with a nod, reminding Youngkyun that he had asked the boy a question.

“I mean… about your father,” Youngkyun clarified, gnawing on his lip as he did. “I’m sorry, Tae.”

Taeyang gave Youngkyun a small comfort smile, looking down to the ground.

“I think I always knew. I mean, I know I freaked out when I found out, but I feel like any reasonable person would panic a little, don’t you think?” Taeyang asked softly. Youngkyun nodded. “I think I always suspected, though, that I was never really going to see him again.” Taeyang’s words sent a shiver of silence between the two of them. “I’m certainly not over it, and I see him in my dreams a lot. I cried a lot, and I still cry because of it, and nothing about that is changing anytime soon. But a lot has happened recently, so I’m trying to focus on other things.” Youngkyun nodded again, understanding the way he felt. “But I knew deep down that he was gone. I think I realized it a long, long time ago, but I just didn’t want to hear myself say it, or even acknowledge that I was thinking it. So, during those four weeks you were gone, I guess I kind of accepted it,” he said with a shrug. “Most people spend months, maybe years, just accepting what happened, and they can’t start really moving on until they do. I think I knew all along, so accepting it didn’t take much time.”

“Just because you accepted it, doesn’t mean you have to be okay,” Youngkyun told him. “You can still hurt, even if you’ve accepted it.”

“I do,” Taeyang admitted. “I thought about him a lot when you were in the hospital, and I even went to visit the grave they made for him. I’ve gone there several times, actually. It still hurts, but I think I’m really starting to move on.”

“I’m proud of you,” Youngkyun told him, giving him a small smile.

“I… also thought about something else during that time. It kept me busy, so I wasn’t thinking only about my dad.”

“What were you thinking about?” Youngkyun asked, leaning forward in interest.

 

“A plan.”

 

“A plan?” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head.

 

“A plan,” Taeyang confirmed with a nod of his head. “Kyun, I’m tired of staying in hotels. I’m tired of always having a mask hooked around my face, and having to look down anytime a person looks in my direction. I miss school, believe it or not, and I miss being able to go places without worrying if one of us is going to die or not. I’m sick of it all. I’m sick of FNC.”

 

“So you made a plan?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow. “A plan for what exactly?”

 

Taeyang gave him a small smile, his eyes glowing with pride and confidence. “A plan to take down FNC. A plan to take back the throne.”


	32. Part One: Sanghyuk's Brilliant Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the off-schedule update, it's just that I'm probably going to be swamped with work tomorrow so I thought I would post it today, even if it's early! Enjoy!

“I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while,” Taeyang explained with a soft smile. “During those four weeks without you, I didn’t really focus on anything except how I could get revenge. I started thinking of this plan… and then after you got hurt, I realized how drastic it was to think I could _ just _ get revenge.”

 

“What was your original plan?” Youngkyun asked, leaning forward, elbows pressed against his knees. 

 

Taeyang waved his hand at him. “Doesn’t matter. The point is, I changed it. I took what I had, and I started making it a bit more realistic, like how we can think all we want about being the richest people on Earth, and what we would do with that money, but it will never happen, right?” Youngkyun nodded to show he was listening. “But, as I started planning this imaginary scenario out in my head, it actually started to seem like something we could pull off.”

 

“Wait, so you’re saying you have an  _ actual _ plan? Like, one that could actually work?”

 

“Yes!” Taeyang said with an excited smile. “I’ve spent months planning it, and weeks working out the small details, but I really think this is possible.”

 

“What’s the end goal?” Youngkyun asked. “Like, you said this started out as a revenge plan-”

 

“Not a revenge plan anymore,” Taeyang said with a shake of his head. “I mean, yeah, I’m going to enjoy every bit of watching them all suffer, but we’re not taking an eye for an eye. We’re not killing Cheolmin.”

 

“Was that your original plan?” Youngkyun asked with a nervous gulp, shivering at the thought of Kinam falling in front of him. He had killed Kinam. Taeyang said he didn’t want to kill anyone, though. Was it possible he didn’t-

 

“Kyun, stop thinking that.”

 

“You don’t know what I was thinking,” Youngkyun mumbled immediately, not even giving himself a second to process what the other boy had said.

 

“I can see it on your face,” Taeyang told him. “Yes, my original plan was something along those lines, because I thought he deserved it. And maybe he does deserve the death sentence, but that isn’t for me to decide.”

 

“But I-”

 

“You didn’t decide to do that, is my point,” Taeyang told him. “You had to.”

 

“Nobody  _ has _ to ki- kill anybody,” Youngkyun pointed out.

 

“Fine, then you wanted to live. You’re a good person, and he was a bad person trying to hurt you, and you wanted to live.”

 

“I’m not a good person.”

 

“You are to me,” Taeyang told him, pushing himself off of his bed and walking up to Youngkyun, crouching in front of where he sat on his bed. He reached forward, grabbing his hands. Taeyang’s hands were soft, like warm feathers gliding over his skin, and the motion was extremely calming, despite the situation. It was comforting. “You’re a good person because you have good morals. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. Kinam was a bad person because he had bad morals. There’s a difference.”

 

Youngkyun cleared his throat, looking away from their interlocked hands. He wanted to object, because he really didn’t believe it, but he knew Taeyang wouldn’t let him have the last word.

 

“What’s your plan?” Youngkyun asked, completely changing the subject. Taeyang looked as though he would object, but he just pushed himself up onto Youngkyun’s bed instead, sitting directly beside him.

 

“You have to promise me something, first, though.”

 

“Okay, okay, what?” Youngkyun asked, a small roll of his eyes and a nod of agreement.

 

“You have to promise me you will testify in court that it was self defense. Media thinks you did it out of violence, and they’ll always think that until you clear it up. Promise me you’ll plead self defense.”

 

“Tae, I-”

 

“Promise me,” Taeyang told him, not giving him another choice. Youngkyun knew Taeyang only wanted the best for him, though, which is why he decided to trust him.

 

He gave the boy a small nod. “Okay. I’ll plead self defense in a court.”

 

“My plan is for us to start living our lives,” Taeyang began explaining immediately, popping himself on the bed as he did in a small bounce. “I realized, while we were in Suwon, that I like living. I like picking you up from work, and I like going out to eat like normal people, but we can’t have that the way we are now, and we can’t just leave our friends.” 

 

“So you’re saying, along with ruining FNC, this plan gets our lives back?”

 

“To an extent,” Taeyang agreed, giving him a soft smile. “The plan is split into seven different parts. We don’t really have to do them in order, except for the last one, but I think the order I have them in is pretty decent.”

 

“So what’s part one?”

 

“Do you remember that video on the news?” Taeyang asked him.

 

“Of… of your… dad?”

 

“Yes, that one,” Taeyang confirmed. “How many times have you seen it?”

 

“Once,” Youngkyun admitted honestly. “I guess I was too busy looking for you to look into the video at all,” Youngkyun admitted.

 

“Well, I had four full weeks to look into that video,” Taeyang told him, grabbing Youngkyun’s computer from the side of his bed and pulling it into his lap. Taeyang had given it back to the boy after returning to their hotel lifestyle, but Youngkyun had just left it on the bed to sit.

 

Taeyang opened the laptop, quickly typing in his password and opening a common news site. He opened five different tabs, bringing up similar articles in every single one, but for five different news stations.

 

“Wait how do you know my password?” Youngkyun asked, turning his head to the boy as he worked.

 

“It’s literally the year you were born. Honestly, Kyun, you could not have chosen an easier password.”

 

“It’s smart, because normal people just assume it’s too predictable,” Youngkyun argued.

 

“Which is exactly why it was my first guess,” Taeyang admitted with a smile, moving the cursor to the first tab, and enlarging the video.

 

“Does watching this not make you uncomfortable?” Youngkyun asked, turning to the boy.

 

“Oh, extremely,” Taeyang admitted with a nod. “But I’ve seen it so many times. None of it is new to me. I know every movement and action in this video. I think it’s stopped affecting me to that extent.”

 

With no other words, Taeyang played the video for him. Youngkyun watched as the man dressed in black moved in a motion like he was laughing, looking at Haeseong who sat tied to the chair in front of him. The man’s face wasn’t visible. Youngkyun watched as the man moved forward, hitting Haeseong across the face with such force that Haeseong’s body jutted to the side, spitting the blood out to his side.

 

“What did you notice?” Taeyang asked, turning to Youngkyun.

 

Youngkyun froze in his spot, looking over to Taeyang slowly. “Was I supposed to be looking for anything in particular?” he asked. 

 

Taeyang gave him a small smile, moving to the next tab and playing the same video. Youngkyun nodded in acceptance, once again watching the mystery man throw a punch across Haeseong’s face. He watched the man carefully, watching his movements throughout the video. The only thing he noticed was the man’s motion at the end, like he was about to turn around. 

 

“Go to the next site,” Youngkyun told him, assuming the news site had just cut the rest of the movement off. But the same movement was on the next site, and the site after that.

 

“You’ve clearly noticed something,” Taeyang observed.

 

“Every single news channel cuts the video off at the exact same place, right before the man turns around.”

 

“Exactly,” Taeyang said with a nod. “They were all given the same video, but the guy who gave the public the video said he stole it from the police, and this was all he could get of it, which is weird on its own, because how do you only get the most useless section of the video? But then he went missing, so nobody could follow up on how he got it.”

 

“That’s weird,” Youngkyun agreed with a nod. “So what’s your plan with this?”

 

“Well, obviously the ‘leak to the public’ was fake,” Taeyang pointed out. “So, that means either the police of FNC gave him the video. Which means the full version exists.”

 

“And you want to get the full version.”

 

“We need to for this to work,” Taeyang told him, shutting the laptop.

 

↔

 

“When you said we were stealing a video, I thought you meant like top notch porn, not a high security confidential police file,” Sanghyuk pointed out with a roll of his eyes, shoving his hands grudgingly into the pockets of his light jacket.

 

“Okay, but we’re paying you fifteen million won,” Youngkyun reminded him, giving him a convincing smile. “And you’re the best as stealing stuff.”

 

Sanghyuk pouted, moving his eyes around the area like he wasn’t even looking at anything, just thinking it over in his mind. 

 

“What  _ exactly _ do I need to get?”

 

“The video of Yoo Haeseong that was all over the news, but the full version. It could be with the police or FNC, we don’t know,” Taeyang told him, licking his lips as he spoke. Youngkyun had noticed Taeyang did that a lot when he was nervous, so he finally had something to put against him when Taeyang chastised him for biting his lips. 

 

“Twenty million won,” Sanghyuk declared.

 

“I don’t have an extra five million to spare right now, so can I pay it when I have the money, with interest?” Taeyang asked. “Fifteen million is already a lot for our situation, but I can pay that upfront.”

 

“Fine, fine. But just so you know, most people who ask me to steal are looking for cigarettes and booze," Sanghyuk agreed begrudgingly, sending them both a pointed look.

 

“Except the gang who wanted the painting.”

 

“It was one painting,” Sanghyuk mumbled, kicking around a pebble with the toe of his shoe. “Fine, whatever. I’ll help you steal a video. You said it could be with FNC or the police?”

 

“Yup,” Youngkyun confirmed with a nod of his head. 

 

“Okay, then I have a plan.”

 

“You’ve barely had two minutes to think this through, are you sure that’s a-”

 

“My plan is  _ perfect _ ,” Sanghyuk told him, waving away his concerns like polluted air. “Now, how long has it been since you were accused of being a murderer?”

 

“Ah, uhm, like, eleven or twelve weeks,” Youngkyun told him, shoving down the uncomfortable feeling rising in his throat. He didn’t need to think about that right now.

 

“Alright, I guess I can work with three months. Do you have fake documents, or do we need to spent extra time making those?”

 

“Wh- why do I need fake documents?” Youngkyun asked, blinking with a blank stare.

 

“Because they’re going to accuse you of being Kim Youngkyun, and you need proof that you’re not.”

 

“Woah, woah, woah,” Taeyang interrupted, stepping forward with his arm slightly in front of Youngkyun. The action made heat rise to Youngkyun’s cheeks, and he bit down on his lip in an attempt to cause enough pain so he wouldn’t focus on it. “We’re not putting Youngkyun in danger,” Taeyang stated.

 

“If he has fake documents, they can’t prove he’s Youngkyun,” Sanghyuk told them with a shrug. “Therefore, he’s not in danger. His picture on the news is blurry, and his school picture has long hair. He was last seen blonde, I’ll be surprised if they actually recognize him.”

 

“I don’t like this.”

 

“You said we needed the video,” Youngkyun pointed out, causing Taeyang to glare at him in betrayal. He turned to Sanghyuk. “I have a fake passport, birth certificate, and driver’s license.”

 

“Oh fantastic,” Sanghyuk said with wild eyes and a smile, like a child who was just given a plate of candy. “We also need a car.”

 

“I don’t have a car.”

 

“It takes, like, five minutes to make a fake registration. Just steal one,” Sanghyuk suggested with a shrug. “It’s not that hard.”

 

“So… what exactly are we getting his fake documents for?” 

 

↔

 

“Okay, Kyun, I’m going to give you a quick lesson in how to not be you before we dive into this.”

 

“I’m sorry… what?” Youngkyun asked, blinking at the boy in front of him. While him and Taeyang had left to get a car, Sanghyuk had raided a donation box of clothing. He was now wearing a decent shirt and dress pants, which led Youngkyun to believe he had robbed an actual store. Meanwhile, he had forced Youngkyun into ripped jeans and a bomber jacket, encouraging him to add several chains to his jeans, which he also stole. Youngkyun knew for a fact those weren't in the donation box.

 

“So, you know how you do that whole ‘think before you speak’ thing?” Sanghyuk asked, already knowing the answer to his own question.

 

Youngkyun nodded.

 

“Okay, well don’t do that,” Sanghyuk told him. “You need to stop focusing on what people think of you, and just say whatever is on your mind. Stop worrying about getting all the details, and just act like an absolute dumbass.”

 

“Oh, like you?” Youngkyun asked, tilting his head.

 

“Exactly!” Sanghyuk said with a small jump. “Right, so just don’t act like yourself. Got it?”

 

“You still haven't told us the plan!” Youngkyun pointed out, completely exasperated. “What is there to get?” Youngkyun was getting slightly irritated at this point. They were out in an open area in the middle of a public square, surrounded by people watching them. People walked by them in every direction, and cars drove past with a million cameras that could catch them. Worst of all, Youngkyun didn't even have his mask on him. Sanghyuk had taken it. And maybe even worse, Taeyang wasn't there with them.

 

“Punch me across the face.”

 

“Hyuk, we’re literally in the middle Daejo-dong, right down the street form a police station. Why the fuck would I punch you?”

 

“Because this is the station connected with FNC, because the chief works here. I do research,” he stated with a wink. 

 

“Aren’t we trying to be inconspicuous? Most people don’t try to attract the attention of people when committing a crime,” Youngkyun hissed at him, looking around himself as the people walked by to make sure nobody was listening in. 

 

“Absolutely not. Punch me.”

 

“Hyuk, no.”

 

“Scream at me.”

 

“Hyuk, no!”

 

“For god sakes,” Sanghyuk said with a roll of his eyes. “Kyun, scream at me and punch me across the face, or I’m taking the fifteen million and leaving.”

 

“What am I even supposed to scream?” Youngkyun asked, hating how little he knew about this plan. He had absolutely no idea what was going on. 

 

“I screwed around with Taeyang,” Sanghyuk stated, licking his lips as he did. “Damn, that was a good night.”

 

“Hyuk, you know we’re not a couple, right?”

 

“That boy…” Sanghyuk continued, dragging out with words. “Mhm. It’s not fair to keep him all to yourself, is it?”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “If you’re trying to make me mad, this isn’t working,” Youngkyun told him bluntly, eyes hooded in lack of amusement.

 

Sanghyuk gave him a devilish smile, and Youngkyun absolutely did not like the way it made the hairs on his neck stand up.

 

“I do my research you know,” Sanghyuk stated. “I look into my clients. I know a lot about you two.”

 

“Oh, do you?” Youngkyun asked, almost testing him, absolutely positive that whatever Sanghyuk was doing, it wasn't working and it wasn't going to. 

 

“Tell me,  _ Hwiyoung _ , how does it feel knowing Tae slept around with all those other people?” Sanghyuk asked loudly, using the name on his records. 

 

“He didn’t,” Youngkyun pointed out, a proud smile on his face. He was prideful of the fact that he knew more than Sanghyuk.

 

“And that’s what he tells you? Come on now, you can’t really trust him.”

 

“I absolutely trust him,” Youngkyun told him, narrowing his eyes at the boy. 

 

“So when he fools around behind your back, that doesn’t bother you?”

 

“He doesn’t- Hyuk, we  _ aren’t _ a couple!” 

 

“But you’re imagining it,” Sanghyuk pointed out. “You’re picturing it in your mind, and you can just picture the smile on Tae’s face when he’s fooling around with someone else, coming home to tell you he cares about you."

 

“This isn’t funny,” Youngkyun told him, that prideful kick to his expression dropping immediately. He started digging his fingers into his palms unconsciously.

 

“Go on, Hwi. Say what you want to say. Tell me how okay you are with being a pushover.”

 

“You literally don’t know anything about this situation,” Youngkyun stated as calmly as he could, letting the crowd around him fade away behind him. He could feel his emotions rising, like the pressure in his head was growing bigger and bigger, but he couldn’t stop it.

 

“I don’t need to. I know you care. But he doesn’t care about you, and you hate it.”

 

“This really isn’t funny,” Youngkyun warned in a low voice.

 

“Stop saying it’s not funny and just tell me how you really feel,” Sanghyuk challenged, crossing his arms.

 

“You wanna know how I feel?!” Youngkyun asked, stepping towards the boy, very aware of how he was doing exactly what he wanted him to do, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. “I feel like you’re pushing yourself past a line,” Youngkyun told him. “This isn’t your business.”

 

“It was my business last night.”

 

Youngkyun really did not know what came over him. He knew Sanghyuk was trying to make him mad, which pissed him off because it was working. Youngkyun had no idea why those words set him over the edge, especially since he knew it wasn’t true, and he had no reason to be jealous. Taeyang was not  _ his _ , and yet, Sanghyuk talking about him like he was meaningless to Taeyang just crossed a line for him.

 

Youngkyun wanted to apologize the second he watched Sanghyuk fall back from the blow of his punch, stumbling back over his own feet and landing on his ass with a stunned expression. But he knew this was the plan, and so he just did what Sanghyuk told him. He stopped thinking, and he just acted.

 

Youngkyun moved over to Sanghyuk, straddling him and throwing another punch at him. 

 

The people around them gasped as they fought, Youngkyun doing a noticeable amount of damage on Sanghyuk’s face. There was a tad bit of blood on his mouth, and a few spots he knew would bruise, but Sanghyuk just continued to talk shit, like he wanted to keep getting hit.

 

Eventually, Youngkyun was being tugged away by someone, baring his teeth at Sanghyuk as he watched the boy get hauled up by a police officer. Youngkyun, of course, was not entirely mad. The exaggerated expressions of aggression were nothing more than cheap acting. He really had no right to be mad, but he still kind of was, deep down.

 

They got escorted to the police department, driving in their own cars while the police drove behind them. 

 

They were dragged into the station separately, forced to sit down next to each other in front of a very dull looking officer.

 

It was now that Youngkyun stopped worrying about everything that was going wrong to realize this  _was_ Sanghyuk’s plan. He needed to scope the place out, and he couldn’t do that from the outside. It was genius, Youngkyun just wished the boy had filled him in.

 

“What the hell is going on?” the officer asked, looking to Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk’s foot moved to hit Youngkyun’s, and he jumped up without a second of explanation, pushing his chair behind him as he stood.

 

“Why are you looking to him first?” Youngkyun asked, his mind racing as he realized how out of the ordinary he was acting, but only because he had to. Him and Taeyang were screwed if he didn't. “He’s the wrong one in this situation! How can you look to him first for an explanation?”

 

“Sir, you hit him first," the cop pointed out with a tired groan to his voice.

 

“Wouldn’t you hit someone who was trashing your family?” Youngkyun asked, not focusing on how he called Taeyang his family. 

 

“Sir, please sit down,” the man requested.

 

Youngkyun sighed obnoxiously, falling down into his chair with crossed arms. God, he just wanted to fix his posture so badly, but he absolutely refused to make himself look anything more than indecent.

 

“I didn’t mean any offense to him,” Sanghyuk said, holding his hands up like he had actually meant no offense. “It was just a joke.”

 

“You were talking about sleeping with my man!” Youngkyun pointed out,  _ definitely _ not focusing on whatever the hell had just come out of his mouth.

 

“I didn’t actually mean it!” Sanghyuk retorted, looking to the officer. “It was just a joke, and I really meant no harm.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Some fucked up sense of humor you have.”

 

“What is your relationship to the offender?” the officer asked Sanghyuk.

 

“He made the comment, but I’m still the offender?!” Youngkyun yelled, mouth open in shock. “He insulted me!”

 

“You hit him several times.”

 

“It’s called taking responsibility for your actions!” Youngkyun defended loudly, glaring at the officer. Youngkyun sighed, deflating. He crossed his arms over his chest and turned his head away. “He needs a lesson or two in that," he added in a mumble.

 

“What’s your name?”

 

“Kim Hwiyoung. Why? Are you looking for my criminal record? You think I’m a criminal now?” 

 

“God, Hwiyoung, shut the fuck up!” Sanghyuk yelled at him, tapping his fingers noticeably on the side of the chair. Youngkyun wasn’t sure what that motion was supposed to be, but he knew it meant Sanghyuk didn’t really want him to stop. Whatever the boy’s end plan was, everything was following along perfectly.

 

“You tell me to shut up when you can’t even control the shit that comes out of your mouth?!” Youngkyun asked, watching with a bit of pride from the corner of his eye as the policeman dragged his hand over his face.

 

“SIR!”

 

“Present,” Youngkyun said with a smile, turning to the officer and straightening his back like he was the star pupil of the class.

 

“Would you just-”

 

“Holy shit,” one of the officers spoke from the side, looking to Youngkyun with wide eyes. “What did he say his name was?”

 

“I’m literally right here.”

 

“Kim Hwiyoung.”

 

“That’s Kim Youngkyun! From the FNC case!”

 

“Holy shit!”

 

Okay, now the problem with Sanghyuk keeping the plan to himself was that now Youngkyun literally had no idea what Sanghyuk wanted him to do. One glance to the side and the cops would immediately sense something wrong, so he couldn't risk that. He had only a fraction of a second to think. But logically, Youngkyun felt like he was supposed to deny it, not that he would ever admit it and risk turning himself in. Sanghyuk had even made a fake registration, so hopefully that was what he wanted Youngkyun to do.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, gritting his teeth. “I swear to god, if one more person calls me that, I’m going to hunt this asshole down myself. I said my name is Hwiyoung! Do you not believe me? I have my shit in the car! Go get it!” Youngkyun challenged, fighting the urge to bounce his leg or bite his lip as he spoke. He couldn’t look nervous. He had to look confident. But what if they noticed he was lying? What if they found something wrong with his documents?

 

“Are you sure it's Youngkyun?” the police officer in front of him asked to the other, looking between him and Youngkyun.

 

“I… I’m almost positive.”

 

“We look alike, but I’m not him,” Youngkyun told them with a roll of his eyes. “If I was really him, why the fuck would I come into a police station?”

 

“What’s with that whole deal anyways?” Sanghyuk asked, leaning forward. “Are you guys trying to catch Youngkyun because of the whole situation about you holding back the information about Haeseong's death?”

 

“We never withheld information,” the officer told him out right, clearly falling into his trap.

 

“My theory is that FNC played you guys. I blame it on them,” Sanghyuk continued.

 

“Nobody was holding anything from the public,” the officer behind them stated with a shake of his head, like he was tired of hearing it all.

 

Youngkyun hated the way details around him fell into place way later than they should have. It wasn’t a safety measure that Youngkyun had to bring his documents, it was because Sanghyuk was counting on him to get caught.

 

The police had given the video to the man. It may have been under the order of FNC, but the police had the video. It was obvious because of the calm they expressed, like being blamed for it was just old news. If they had really been framed for that, they would be giving offhand comments about the public or FNC, getting angry about still being accused. But they didn’t. Because they  _ did _ have the video.

 

“Are you pressing charges?” the officer asked Sanghyuk.

 

↔

 

“Thanks for letting me in on the plan,” Youngkyun commented as he got out of his stolen car, glaring at Sanghyuk as he got out of his own.

 

“You got it eventually.”

 

"Well it would have been a lot easier if I had gotten it sooner," Youngkyun mumbled, rolling his eyes.  “But at least we know they have the video.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Sanghyuk told him with a small bow. “Also, your secret's safe with me.”

 

“I have no secret,” Youngkyun lied with a shake of his head.

 

“Yeah, okay,” Sanghyuk responded with a roll of his eyes. He walked forward, pushing the doors to the small cafe open and watching as Taeyang’s eyes rose like a dog waiting for its owner to return.

 

“Oh thank god,” he nearly cried, running over and throwing his arms around Youngkyun. He buried his head into his shoulder and held him so tightly Youngkyun thought he might actually suffocate. “I thought he was going to get you killed.”

 

“I swear he nearly did,” Youngkyun commented as Taeyang pulled away, pulling out a chair and sitting down at the table. Sanghyuk sat across from the two of them after Taeyang sat down beside him, a smile on his face. 

 

“I’m the one that got beat up,” Sanghyuk pointed out, gesturing to his face, which was beginning to bruise already.

 

“Don’t piss me off next time,” Youngkyun challenged with a shrug.

 

“Oh? Should we discuss-”

 

“NO WE SHOULD NOT!” Youngkyun interrupted very clearly, giving Sanghyuk a pointed look as he turned back to Taeyang.

 

“Anyways,” Sanghyuk commented, giving Youngkyun a chance to breathe again, “the police have the video. It’s obvious the accusations don’t bother them, so FNC and them were probably in on it together.”

 

“Great,” Taeyang said with a roll of his eyes. “But at least we know where the video is.”

 

“Where we hope it is,” Sanghyuk corrected. “Assuming they still have the original and didn’t completely destroy it.”

 

“They wouldn’t,” Youngkyun commented. “It’s most likely their best blackmail against FNC to keep them around. Why would they get rid of something so valuable?”

 

“Ah, good point,” Sanghyuk admitted. “But whatever, I’ll come by the hotel you’re at tonight or tomorrow, either or.”

 

“What’s your plan?” Youngkyun asked with a tilt of his head.

 

Sanghyuk didn’t really respond. He just winked.

 

↔

 

“What if he was caught?” Taeyang asked, pacing across the room. “What if they really did get rid of the video? What if they never even had the video and you guys were wrong? What if-”

 

“Tae, hey, deep breathes,” Youngkyun told him, walking up to stand in front of him. He moved his fingers to gently brush the hair away from his eyes. “Sanghyuk is the best I know. He’ll get it.”

 

“I’m just worried,” Taeyang told him honestly.

 

Youngkyun nodded, his hands freezing in the air. He tried not to let his face show the panic at what he just realized he was doing. He was brushing Taeyang's hair. Why was he brushing Taeyang's hair? Why did he even do that all of the sudden? Youngkyun moved to bring his hand back down to his side, but Taeyang caught it in midair, his fingers closing gently around Youngkyun's hand. He started running his thumb over the back of his hand as both of their hands fell slightly below their shoulders, still together.

 

“Hey… Kyun.”

 

“Yeah?” Youngkyun asked, looking up from their hands to Taeyang’s eyes. God, why was Youngkyun's heart beating so loudly? He felt like he was sweating, and yet he was barely moving. His eyes couldn't seem to stay completely focused, and he felt the need to twitch his fingers in Taeyang's grasp, being way over aware of every cell of his skin that was touching Taeyang's.

 

“Are we… are we ever going to talk about that kiss?”

 

Youngkyun gave a nervous laugh, pulling his hand away from Taeyang’s quickly, feeling the heat rise to his face even more as he tried to look anywhere else but Taeyang. 

 

“Ah, there’s no reason to,” Youngkyun defended, moving around Taeyang to their beds, like he was on some sudden mission to straighten out the blankets.

 

“But-”

 

Youngkyun had never been more grateful for the sound of a knock at their door in his life. Taeyang quickly dropped the subject, rushing over to the door like they hadn't even been having a conversation. 

 

He really had to get a hold of himself, because clearly Taeyang was catching on and obviously it was becoming uncomfortable. Youngkyun didn’t even really know what the boy was catching on to, because he hadn’t quite figured it out himself, but he knew he had to cut it out.

 

Taeyang moved to the door open, letting in a smiling Sanghyuk with a bag across his shoulder. And…

 

“Hyuk?” Youngkyun asked, giving him the most deadpan look he could manage.

 

“Yeah, Kyun?” Sanghyuk asked with a giddy smile.

 

“Why are you dressed like a police officer?”

 

“Because I had to get your video?” Sanghyuk stated as a question, like he didn’t understand why he  _ wouldn’t _ have to dress up.

 

“You always sneak in, though,” Youngkyun pointed out. “That’s your style.”

 

“Okay. And I can’t sneak in with a costume?” Sanghyuk asked, causing Youngkyun to roll his eyes as Sanghyuk pulled a small CD out of his bag. “Okay, here’s the deal. This CD is burned with the video, which means it’s not the original they had, but it has the original video on it, I checked. Nobody will ever know you have it. Just know there’s probably several other copies,” Sanghyuk warned them, handing the video to Taeyang. 

 

Taeyang took the CD in his hands with more care than Youngkyun had ever seen him handle anything else with. He placed it gently onto his computer, watching it for a second with glazed eyes before moving back to Sanghyuk.

 

“I have the fifteen million won, just give me-”

 

“I don’t want the money,” Sanghyuk told him, causing the both of them to stop in their places, eyeing Sanghyuk curiously.

 

“Hyuk, you did this for twenty million,” Youngkyun reminded him with raised eyebrows.

 

“I know,” Sanghyuk said with a shrug. “But fifteen million is a lot to take from you guys right now, in your situation. I don’t know what exactly you need this video for, but I can guess you’re taking action against FNC?”

 

Taeyang looked back to the CD quickly before nodding.

 

“Then I don’t want fifteen million or twenty million won. I want a job.”

 

“A job?” Taeyang asked, looking to Youngkyun like he wasn’t sure if he had heard him right. 

 

“Whether you take FNC for yourselves or put something new in its place, I want a job there. Nobody will hire me because of my criminal record, and I don’t want to wash dishes for a living, so please give me a job,” Sanghyuk requested, bowing to Taeyang as he said it. 

 

“Ouch,” Youngkyun mumbled under his breath, thinking about the weeks he had spent washing dishes with Yongchul. The thought made a wave of guilt fall over him, remembering how he had just left the boy there. Youngkyun considered Yongchul a friend, and yet he had left him, and hadn’t even attempted to see him again. He had become so busy, he just forgot. That was going to have to change. 

 

“Are you going to steal stuff from it?” Taeyang asked, to which Sanghyuk snorted and shook his head. “Then okay, I’ll give you a job.”

 

“I thought we were just taking down FNC?” Youngkyun asked, turning to Taeyang.

 

“I have some ideas,” he admitted with a light shrug and a smile.

 

“Thank you, Tae,” Sanghyuk said with a genuine smile. “I have to go feed my cat now, but stay in touch, okay? Kyun has my number.”

 

“You have a cat?”

 

“Bye, bye!”

 

Sanghyuk didn’t say much else as he left, but then again, he never did. Sanghyuk was one of those people that came to your rescue, and then vanished like he was never there. Youngkyun would be sure to call him, though. After all, he had a guaranteed job with Taeyang, now, whatever his plan was. 

 

“Tae, are you sure you’re ready to watch this video?”

 

“I never even saw the autopsy report. I don’t know how he died, or who killed him,” Taeyang stated, looking to Youngkyun with a hesitant look. “I want to know.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, pulling his computer onto his lap as he sat on his bed. He opened the CD played, placing the disk neatly inside and pulling Taeyang over to sit next to him. He placed the computer between them both, waiting impatiently as the video loaded.

 

The video started out slow, just an empty room; but it was the room Haeseong had been in. It was the right video.

 

The mystery man came onto screen next, dragging a chair with him across the floor, placing it directly in the center of the warehouse. It was a bit off-centered with the camera, so Youngkyun had to assume whoever this was was dumb enough not to check for CCTV cameras. 

 

He dragged Haeseong onto camera, pushing him roughly into the chair. He looked beat up, nearly unconscious as the man tied him up.

 

“God, what did he do to you?” Taeyang asked in a quiet voice, a small tear sliding down his cheek as he watched. 

 

The man tied Haeseong’s legs to the chair, shaking the chair with him in it to keep him awake. He moved his hands to Haeseong’s face, patting his cheeks before slapping him harshly across the face. 

 

Taeyang winced as the man retreated, his shoulders shaking like he was laughing. 

 

Another man walked onto screen, walking beside the mystery man and handing him a metal bat.

 

A suffocated sound came from Taeyang’s throat as he saw it, his breathing becoming audibly uneven as he watched the man turn it around in his hands. Then he lunged forward, beating Haeseong with it.

 

Youngkyun looked to Taeyang immediately, watching as his hands flew to his mouth, covering it as he cried, eyes unmoving from the screen. His cheeks were soaked with tears as he watched, sobbing into his hand. 

 

“Dad… oh my god,” he mumbled through his tears, watching painfully as the man swung the bat, hitting him in every place he could except the head.

 

He threw the bat to the side after a while, and Youngkyun could just imagine the sound of it flying across the concrete floor, rolling around in the silence while Haeseong struggled.

 

The man grabbed his hair, moving so close like he was talking to him, but the video had no audio, so it was impossible to tell. Then he pushed the chair back, watching as Haeseong fell back, hitting his head against the floor.

 

Taeyang choked on his breath, letting out a small cry as he watched the man pick up the chair, punching Haeseong across the face. 

 

“Why won’t he stop?” Taeyang asked with a cracked voice. “Why won’t he just stop?”

 

Then the man backed up, and Youngkyun recognized the motion. This is where the video started on the news. The man moved forward, punching Haeseong across the face again, and backing up with shaking shoulders. He moved to turn, and as his face became clear to the camera he smiled at whoever was standing below it.

 

“Fucking Cheolmin,” Taeyang mumbled, sobbing as he said it. “It’s always fucking Cheolmin.”

 

The other man in the video walked forward, handing something to Cheolmin and the old man responded with a sadistic smile. Youngkyun saw Cheolmin raise his arm, the gun positioned to fire in his hand. He barely saw the flash of the gun firing before Taeyang moved his hands to Youngkyun’s head, pulling him down into his chest and blocking his eyes with a pained cry. He curled his fingers through Youngkyun's hair, refusing to let him look beyond that.

 

Youngkyun didn’t fight Taeyang to see the video, breathing heavily into the boy’s chest as Taeyang flinched, crying at whatever was happening. Youngkyun was thankful Taeyang didn’t let him see more than that, because all he could picture in his mind was the flash of the gun going off, and he really didn’t want to picture what happened after it.

 

He bit down on his lip, forcing himself to control his thoughts as Taeyang held him to his chest. It was just a gun, he told himself. But that thought didn’t really help much, because that was the problem. It was a gun, and Cheolmin had shot Haeseong.

 

“The man…” Taeyang started in a low voice, a crack starting in his throat. “The other man. It was Kinam.”

 

Youngkyun let out a struggled breath against Taeyang’s chest, leaning into his body as a tear slid down his cheek. 

 

“Kyun?”

 

“Yeah, Tae?”

 

“I’m glad you killed him.”


	33. We Fall Together, Always

Youngkyun sat awake in his bed, a tear sliding down his cheek as he stared at the ceiling. He had his hands folded across his chest, lying still as the images from his dream drifted around his head.

 

It had been like reliving that moment with Kinam, only it wasn’t the same. Kinam hadn’t shot him this time, but had instead got on his knees and begged for his life. Youngkyun tried to fight himself, like he was consciously awake, but still couldn’t control himself. He knew what he was doing, and he had begged himself to stop as he raised the barrel of the gun to Kinam’s head. He didn’t even hesitate. He just pulled the trigger, and Kinam fell to the ground, leaving him in a suffocating silence.

 

In Youngkyun’s dreams, he always woke up as soon as the gun fired. He would never really see the person drop, but he would always remember it when he woke up screaming and crying. Not this time, though. This time he had watched Kinam fall, smiling to himself as he admired the gun in his hand. He felt numb in the dream, like any bad person would feel. After all, bad people had to be numb to do the things they did, right?

 

Youngkyun hadn’t woken up screaming, and he hadn’t cried much. He just opened his eyes with a deep breath, biting his lip and filling his mouth with blood as he remembered what he had done in his dream. But it stung to know it wasn’t just the dream this time. He had actually done it.

 

“Kyun,” Taeyang called softly from his bed.

 

Youngkyun didn’t even flinch at the noise, feeling so numb that it was hard to be shocked by anything. It wasn’t even like he was in his hotel room. It was like he was still in that alley, watching Kinam fall over and over and over again.

 

“Kyun, stop it.”

 

“I’m not doing anything,” Youngkyun told him quietly with a crackly rumble to his voice.

 

“You’re thinking again.”

 

“Everybody thinks,” Youngkyun told him with a quiet voice.

 

“You’re thinking about Kinam.”

 

Youngkyun really didn’t want to tell Taeyang how much his words had affected him.  _ I’m glad you killed him. _ How could he be glad? Youngkyun wasn’t glad. Youngkyun was afraid. He had to spend every moment of his life remembering what he had done, reliving it every night even if he wasn’t dreaming of it. The images were always there. Every detail replayed in his head, and they always warped themselves in the worst possible way. So how could Taeyang be glad? 

 

“Kyun.”

 

“I’m not thinking,” Youngkyun stated immediately, biting on his lip with a silent hiss. “Actually, how are you _not_ thinking?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“I am thinking,” Taeyang replied.

 

“So why are you telling me not to?”

 

“Because I’m thinking about my father. I’m wishing he was alive. You’re just telling yourself you’re a monster.”

 

Youngkyun tried to respond, but his voice caught in his throat at the words coming from Taeyang's mouth.  _ Monster _ .

 

“Kyun, you’re not a monster.”

 

“You just said it.”

 

“I said that’s what  _ you _ think you are. You’re blaming yourself.”

 

“Shouldn’t I?” Youngkyun asked, not moving as his eyes focused on the ceiling above him.

 

“No.”

 

“There’s nobody else to blame,” Youngkyun told him quietly.

 

“You can blame Kinam.”

 

“No, I can’t,” Youngkyun told him simply. “He didn’t pull the trigger.”

 

“Yeah he did,” Taeyang told him. “You almost died, remember?”

 

“I kind of wish I did,” Youngkyun mumbled without thinking, hearing Taeyang sit up in his bed at his words.

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

“I do,” Youngkyun contradicted without hesitation. “At least I wouldn’t have to live with the guilt anymore.”

 

“You’re life is finally getting better,” Taeyang told him quietly.

 

“My life is just as bad as it’s always been,” Youngkyun stated. “I have you, and Chanhee, and Seokwoo, now, but I have even more nightmares and trauma. Nothing gets better without getting worse.”

 

Taeyang pushed himself out of his bed, moving over to Youngkyun’s bed and roughly pushing him over. Youngkyun complied, shifting over so Taeyang could sit next to him.

 

“You need a jacket.”

 

Youngkyun furrowed his brows at the ceiling. “A… jacket?”

 

Taeyang wrapped his arms around him, snuggling into his chest with a stuffy voice. “It’s a long walk,” he told him. “You should bring a jacket to make it better. Don’t just let yourself suffer.”

 

Youngkyun gave a small laugh at his words. “I told you that,” he commented.

 

Taeyang nodded into his chest. “I’ll hold onto you.”

 

The corner of Youngkyun lips lifted into a small smile. “What if you drop me?” he asked, repeating what Taeyang had said to him back when they had just started staying in hotels. God, it was such a long time ago. “What if you can’t hold me?”

 

“We fall together,” Taeyang told him, pushing himself up with his elbow. Youngkyun moved his eyes, finally meeting Taeyang’s. The boy moved his thumb, gently wiping away the single tear on his cheek. “But don’t stop holding on because you think I can’t pull you up.”

 

“That really stuck with you, huh?” Youngkyun asked quietly.

 

Taeyang gave him a small smile. “Partners in crime stick together. Always.”

 

“I promise I won’t leave,” Youngkyun said with a small smile, rolling to the side to bury himself into Taeyang’s chest. “I’m sorry for wishing I was dead.”

 

“I’m sorry for what I said about Kinam. I know it probably wasn’t a good thing to say,” Taeyang told him. 

 

“I’m sorry about your dad,” Youngkyun told him. “I promised to help you find him, but I couldn’t… I’m really sorry.”

 

“I’m grateful,” Taeyang contradicted. “Not… not about- uhm. Not because of what happened, but because you kept your promise. You stayed with me.”

 

“I left,” Youngkyun reminded him.

 

“No, you promised to be my partner in crime until I asked you to leave, remember? You kept your promise. You stayed with me. Don’t tell me you didn’t, because I wouldn’t be alive right now if it wasn’t for you.”

 

Youngkyun moved his arm around Taeyang’s side.

 

“I don’t want to have my nightmares anymore,” Youngkyun told him honestly, a small tear sliding down his cheek. “I want to get better.”

 

“And I’ll stay by your side and help you through it,” Taeyang promised, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. Youngkyun smiled into the hug, enjoying the feeling. It was a small comfort, even when he felt like this. “Because we fall together.”

 

“We fall together,” Youngkyun repeated.


	34. Part Two: Youngkyun's "Talent"

“So after getting the video, assuming we can, what’s the next part of the plan?” Youngkyun asked, folding his hands on his lap. Taeyang smiled beside him on the bed.

 

“The next part is even harder.”

 

“Oh great,” Youngkyun commented with a roll of his eyes. “What’s harder than breaking into a police department and possibly FNC?” 

 

“Getting files from FNC,” Taeyang told him. “Part two involves getting the official signed documents of company and stock transfer from my father to Cheolmin.”

 

“And how in the fucking hell are we supposed to get those?” Youngkyun asked with an exasperated look. “Getting a video, I get. But who the hell knows where Cheolmin keeps those documents?”

 

“Someone probably does,” Taeyang told him, a small smile appearing on his face.

 

“And who would that be?”

 

“His son: Baek Juho.”

 

↔

 

“Tae, I know how much thought you put into this plan, but you have no idea how people actually work,” Youngkyun commented as he sat in the passenger seat of Taeyang’s car, watching through the windows as the students walked around. Youngkyun found it hard to believe that at some point he knew every single person and all their secrets, because now they all felt like strangers.

 

“I think it’ll work,” Taeyang said positively.

 

“I think Juho hates us,” Youngkyun contradicted with a nod of his head, like he was agreeing with himself. “What makes you think he’s just going to give us the files?”

 

“Because you have a fantastic habit of getting what you want out of people, and I have faith in you,” Taeyang responded with a cocky smile.

 

“Good to know the whole plan rides on me having a stroke of luck.”

 

“It’s not luck, it’s talent. Come on.”

 

The two boys got out of the car, Youngkyun scratching at his mask as he did. He hated how he had to still hide in public, and honestly, he was really hoping Taeyang’s plan would work so he wouldn’t have to anymore. 

 

Youngkyun’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he reached in for it, tapping the flash drive in his pocket lightly with his fingers and sighing in relief that it was still there, not that it wouldn’t be. 

 

He opened his phone, pressing it to his ear.

 

“Is he coming?” Youngkyun asked immediately.

 

“He is only coming because he is convinced an FNC employee is waiting for him,” Chanhee told him. “So… have fun with that.”

 

“Which room?” Youngkyun asked, looking up to the dorm buildings as he did. He really didn’t miss this school, but at the same time, he missed the normality of it all. He could barely remember what his life used to be like now. Everything was so different. Back then, his biggest worries were keeping the secrets of the whole school, like he was doing it to distract himself from everything else in his life. Now, he couldn't remember half of their names. It was all so strange. 

 

“Six,” Chanhee told him. “Hurry, hurry.”

 

“We’re going, we’re going,” Youngkyun told him, shoving his phone in his pocket and motioning for Taeyang to follow him to the library. They walked in without a problem, which shocked Youngkyun because he was sure someone would have recognized them by now. After all, the school’s sex god and holy grail of information were walking in after having been on the news and gone from the campus for months. They were probably kicked out of the enrollment by now, but Youngkyun wouldn’t be shocked if kids still recognized them.

 

They walked themselves to the back rooms, counting the doors until they made it to number six.

 

“Here we go,” Youngkyun stated with a roll of his eyes, pushing the handle of the door down and walking inside. He let Taeyang inside after him, closing the door behind them. He locked it, turning around and removing his mask with a quick motion.

 

“Oh hell no,” Juho stated immediately, standing from his seat and immediately moving to walk around them. 

 

“Hey, wait a second!” Taeyang told him, moving his arm to block his path at the last second. “We just want to talk.”

 

“I was supposed to be meeting an FNC employee, not a wanted murderer and a runaway,” Juho commented with a bite to his voice, his eyes sending glares to each of them.

 

“Okay, ouch,” Youngkyun commented, pushing down the feeling. Juho was just mad, and he was trying to make them mad.

 

“I could turn you both in right now,” Juho told them simply, pulling his phone out of his pocket and showing it off. He wiggled his hand back and forth like it was a prize.

 

“But you won’t,” Youngkyun told him quickly, having absolutely no idea if he would or not.

 

“I won’t? Please enlighten me as to why I wouldn’t,” Juho said, his hand falling just a bit lower as he waited for an explanation. His other hand was situated in his pocket, like he was calm in the situation he was in now because he felt like he had the upper hand. Youngkyun could change that easily.

 

“So, after months of disappearing, we both show up here, secretly trying to meet with you, and you’d rather turn us in than know why?”

 

“I’ll know why after I turn you in,” Juho countered.

 

“You turn us in, and they’ll kill us,” Youngkyun contradicted.

 

“FNC isn’t full of animals,” Juho retorted. “You’ll be turned over to the police like everyone else.”

 

Youngkyun furrowed his brows at Juho. Did he really not know? By the sound of it, he didn't even know about FNC's involvement with the police.

 

“Wait,” Taeyang said, pausing before taking a single step forward. He looked Juho up and down in front of him, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “How are you not shocked I’m alive?”

 

“I identified your body,” Juho said with a shrug, reminding Youngkyun that he had been a part of the ploy the whole time. Youngkyun had almost forgotten Juho knew he was alive this whole time, which just sent a small shiver through his skin. 

 

Taeyang rolled his eyes. “Okay, well, here I am! Wouldn’t you love to know why?” he asked, his hands dropping to his side.

 

“No, not really,” Juho said honestly, pressing his lips together and looking pointedly towards the door. "I'd rather leave."

 

“‘He invited us here,’” Youngkyun said quickly, in a last ditch effort to get Juho to stay. His outburst caused a look of confusion on both Juho and Taeyang’s faces.

 

“Who?”

 

“‘Juho invited us to the school. He said he had a deal to make with us,’” Youngkyun continued, watching out of the corner of his eyes as realization stuck across Taeyang’s face.

 

“I’m… confused," Juho mumbled, looking between the two of them.

 

“‘I mean, we had kept in contact all this time, so there was no reason for us not to trust him. But then he turned us in out of nowhere.’”

 

Juho’s eyes went wide as slow realization crossed his face. “You’d tell my father I helped you?”

 

“Why wouldn’t he believe us?” Youngkyun asked, turning to Taeyang. “I mean, why else would we come meet you? It’s not like we have any other reason to.”

 

“But you do.”

 

“But nobody would know that,” Youngkyun pointed out, hands on his hips. “We just want to talk.”

 

“The last time we talked, you threatened me,” Juho pointed out.

 

“I told you, it was only a threat if you saw it as one,” Youngkyun repeated.

 

“Did you tell Taeyang, then?”

 

“About us having sex together?” Taeyang asked Juho, smiling at him as the boy’s face went red. “Oh, yeah. By the way, how was it? I wasn’t there.”

 

“Very funny,” Juho commented with a pout, taking a few steps back and making a spot for himself at the table in the middle of the room. Youngkyun smiled, taking a seat across from him, followed by Taeyang. “What do you guys want?”

 

“It’s about my dad,” Taeyang told him, folding his hands on the table. “My dad… you saw, right?”

 

“Of course,” Juho said with a nod. “I’m sorry, by the way. I may hate you, but nobody deserves that.”

 

Youngkyun really felt so confused, which was rare for him. Did Juho… not know anything? He knew Taeyang was alive, but he really didn’t know  _ anything _ about Taeyang’s father, or what went on behind closed doors in FNC. Was he just stupid, or was he kept in the dark?

 

“Well, it’s been a rough few months,” Taeyang explained, perfectly going along with the plan the two of them had come up with. “I just… it worries me because he signed over the company so quickly and went missing like that. I don’t want to put any blame on anyone,” he lied, “but I can’t stop thinking about it.”

 

“We were wondering if you could get us a copy of the company transfer papers,” Youngkyun told him honestly. After all, that was what they really wanted. “Tae has been struggling a lot to accept what happened, and we’d just feel better if we knew there were no holes.”

 

“My dad wouldn’t do that,” Juho defended immediately, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back in his seat. "He wouldn't forge documents."

 

“We’re not saying he would,” Youngkyun told him, mentally kicking himself for pretending Cheolmin was some innocent being. “But maybe someone else would,” he said with a shrug of fake uncertainty. “We just want to know for sure.”

 

“You came all the way here for that?” Juho asked as he stood up, turning to Taeyang. Youngkyun wanted to stand up with him, but he hadn't expected Juho to move in the first place. He was caught a bit off guard. “Listen, buddy, I’m sorry about your dad, I really am. But the company had nothing to do with it. Leave my dad out of it, and go back into hiding or whatever.”

 

“Haven’t you ever wondered why we were hiding?” Taeyang bit out harshly, looking up to Juho. He glared through the boy like he could actually hurt him. Youngkyun bit on his lip as he sensed the plan turning in the wrong direction. Their plan was to appeal to Juho, not to threaten him, and Taeyang was definitely heading in that direction.

 

“What?”

 

“I mean, you say the company had nothing to do with it, but you were told to falsely identify my body, and you heard all about FNC coming to find us. Why do you think that is?”

 

“I don’t think about you two in my free time,” Juho admitted smugly. 

 

“Well maybe you should start using your brain for once in a fucking blue moon, and you’d be able to figure it out!” Taeyang yelled, pushing himself up to a standing position. The chair tipped back behind him, crashing to the ground with a bang. Youngkyun felt frozen in his seat just watching them.

 

“Taeyang, this wasn’t the plan-”

 

“Fuck the plan!” Taeyang yelled, cheeks turning a shade of red as the blood rushed to his head in anger. “He can’t even figure out what’s going on with his own god damn family, why would he have any idea where those files are?" he asked, voice muffled to a dull mumble with his eyes refusing to leave Juho.

 

“My family?!” Juho asked, like a challenge, stepping around the table toward Taeyang.

 

“Oh no. No, guys-”

 

“You want to talk about my family?! From what I hear about yours, your father was terrible at running a business, and your mom was a whore!” 

 

Taeyang reached forward, digging his fingers into the material of Juho’s shirt and pushing him harshly against the wall behind the table. His body slammed into the wall with a sound of distress and the bookcase beside him shook from the impact. Juho’s eyes went wide as he tried to pry Taeyang’s hands away from his shirt, but the boy wouldn’t budge.

 

“Talk about my mom again,” Taeyang threatened, bearing his teeth at him. “I. Fucking. Dare. You.”

 

“Didn’t she sleep with that other guy?” Juho asked with a cocky smile that was clearly just masking his worry, choking out his words as Taeyang pressed against his throat. “And left your dad?”

 

“She never slept with anybody,” Taeyang told him in a low, threatening voice, pressing him harshly against the wall again. Juho made a sound of pain as he did, returning to his mask of a smile. He wasn't helping himself, but he just refused to back down. “She was raped. She was blamed for it, and she had to leave because she was being threatened. Never talk about my mom again, or I really will kill you.”

 

Juho went silent at Taeyang’s words, his smile dropping and his cocky demeanor instantly gone. Youngkyun felt the blood draining from his face. Taeyang never talked about his mom. In fact, the fact that he ever had a mother never really crossed his mind. He naturally assumed she wasn’t around, but he never knew something like that had happened.

 

“Taeyang…” Juho choked out, like he was at a loss for words.

 

“Call my mom a whore one more time and see how far out the door you can make it. Go ahead.”

 

“Taeyang, I’m sorry, man. I- I didn't know-”

 

“You say you’re sorry about my family, but you’re not.”

 

“I didn’t know!”

 

“Yeah, you don’t seem to know shit,” Taeyang told him, pulling his hands away as he threw Juho away from the wall. Juho stumbled to regain his balance, hands flying to catch himself on anything as Taeyang stepped away from him.

 

“Tae, hey, why don’t you step out?” Youngkyun suggested, slowly rising from his seat and placing a gentle hand on Taeyang's shoulder.

 

“Why?!” Taeyang asked, his hair sticking up in every direction as he looked pointedly to Juho.

 

“Because you’re angry. I get it, you’re mad. But if you’re mad, we’re not going to get those files. Why don’t you just step out?”

 

Taeyang huffed at Juho again, looking quickly to Youngkyun before pulling his mask off the table, hooking it around his ears and walking towards the door. He slammed it behind him to make a statement that had long past been made.

 

“I’m not giving you those files,” Juho told him as soon as Taeyang left. “You can threaten me all you want, but I care about my family. Whatever you two are up to, I’m not-”

 

“You don’t know what your family has been doing behind your back,” Youngkyun pointed out, taking a seat back at the table. He hoped Juho wasn't dumb enough to try and leave now, especially with Taeyang out in the hallway. “I know you have good morals, because you looked genuinely sorry for a second about his father.”

 

“It’s terrible,” Juho admitted with a shrug. “But the police are working on it and-”

 

“Are they?” Youngkyun asked with a tilt of his head. 

 

“What? Of course they are!”

 

Youngkyun shook his head, looking to Juho’s bag, sitting on the floor beside the table. “Do you have your computer with you?” Youngkyun asked quietly.

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“Because I’m going to prove you wrong.”

 

“About what?” Juho asked, digging his computer out of his bag compliantly. Honestly, the fact that he was still here in itself was amazing, so Youngkyun would work with any shred of cooperation.

 

“Everything,” Youngkyun said simply, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the small flash drive. This had been his backup plan. In fact, this had been his backup plan to his backup plan, but the second Taeyang had lost his temper, all those other plans had flown out the window. It was fine, though, because Taeyang had every right to lose his cool, and Youngkyun wondered what Juho would feel after seeing what he had to show him. He labelled it as “a human experiment” rather than petty revenge.

 

He opened the computer, sticking the drive into the side, waiting for Juho to take a seat.

 

“What is this?” Juho asked as a single video popped up.

 

“This is your father,” Youngkyun told him honestly, playing the video and watching, for the second time, as Cheolmin dragged the metal chair across the room, throwing Haeseong into its spot. 

 

“Wait,” Juho told him, looking up. “I know this video.”

 

“You know the part FNC gave to the public,” Youngkyun told him, pushing his face to continue watching the video. When Kinam came onto screen, Youngkyun turned his head, waiting for the gasp to leave Juho’s throat as he watched the video. “Play the next one.”

 

“What- I don’t- I- this isn’t-”

 

“Juho, play the next one,” Youngkyun told him. He didn’t watch as the video played, but he could hear his and Taeyang’s whispers behind it, before hearing the gunshot echo in the room. Youngkyun closed his eyes tightly, wincing as the camera shuffled around, ending the video.

 

“What is this?” Juho asked him in a panicked voice.

 

“That’s your dad killing Taeyang’s dad. That’s your dad killing an innocent reporter, who had been fired years ago. He had a daughter, too.”

 

“That can’t be him.”

 

“Do you want to know why Taeyang and I have been on the run?” Youngkyun asked, pulling the flash drive out and stuffing it back into his pocket before turning to face Juho, who couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from the screen. “Because we know Cheolmin killed those people. We know the police are in on it. We know FNC runs off of an underground drug cartel, which is why Cheolmin killed Haeseong, because Haeseong didn’t approve of it.”

 

“This is-”

 

“They’d kill us if they got the chance,” Youngkyun stated, lifting up his shirt to show Juho the wound on his side. “I got shot. I almost died- actually. No, I did die, but I was saved at the hospital. That was the day at Songpa-gu, so you can’t tell me they wouldn’t kill us,” Youngkyun ranted, watching panic spread across Juho’s face. He pulled his shirt back down. “We need those files, because we think Haeseong didn’t pass the company to Cheolmin. We think it was faked.”

 

“He wouldn’t-”

 

“Juho, you just watched him do that. How much faith do you have in your father? I know you love him, and he’s your family, but you have to know he’s a bad person,” Youngkyun told him simply.

 

“Well what about you?!” Juho asked, turning to Youngkyun with red eyes, a few tears sliding down his cheeks. 

 

“Wh- what?” Youngkyun asked, watching Juho stand up in front of him. 

 

“You killed Kinam, and you want to talk about being a good person? I watched my dad work for years for his position, and I listened to him talk so happily about Haeseong giving him that position!”

 

“He lied!” Youngkyun told him.

 

“He killed people? Well, you killed someone too,” Juho pointed out. Youngkyun felt himself flinch back as Juho stood up, taking a step forward. Youngkyun stood up immediately out of instinct, and right now, fear. “If he killed people, why is it okay if you killed someone? People, die, of course, but Kinam was a good person!”

 

“Kinam handed him the gun!” Youngkyun shouted at him, gesturing to the computer which no longer had the video. “Kinam was there when they killed the reporter! Kinam shot me!” 

 

“Who cares?!” Juho screamed at him, tears running down his face. Youngkyun watched as he struggled with his own thoughts, tearing him apart. “Maybe- maybe my dad is a bad person, but you’re a bad person too!”

 

Youngkyun opened his mouth to yell, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. 

 

“Don’t preach to me about my family being bad!”

 

Youngkyun closed his tightly, digging his fingers into his palm. “I’m… not… a bad person,” Youngkyun told him quietly, listening as the room fell silent. He felt a tear slide down his cheek as he spoke, and he wondered if Juho could see it. “I had to kill him,” he admitted, feeling his eyes well up and spill over as he spoke. “He had already shot me. I knew I was going to die but- but Taeyang was waiting for me,” he cried, letting the tears fall as his voice choked up. “Taeyang didn’t deserve to die. Kinam was going to kill him, and I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t- I couldn’t let him hurt Taeyang,” he cried, looking to the ground, not able to look Juho in the eyes at this point.

 

“But your dad laughed when he killed Haeseong!” he continued. “Your dad could have had anybody else kill those people, but he did it himself because he wanted to!” Youngkyun screamed at him. “I- I had to save Taeyang. I didn’t have a choice. I have nightmares about it! I see him every time I close my eyes, and I’ll never stop feeling guilty about that! So… so how can you say your father and I are the same? I feel guilty. God, I wished I was dead! But- but I had to. I had to, because I couldn’t let Taeyang die,” Youngkyun admitted through his tears, finally looking up to Juho, who was watching him with tears coating his cheeks, lips pulled back as he listened.

 

“I killed Kinam, because I had to protect someone I love. That… that doesn’t make me a bad person.”

 

↔

 

“Do you think he’ll give us the files?” Taeyang asked, sighing as he said it.

 

“I don’t know,” Youngkyun said honestly, readjusting his position on Taeyang’s arm, where he lied cuddled into his side. “I hope so.”

 

“I’m proud of you.”

 

“For what?” Youngkyun asked, looking up to Taeyang with furrowed brows. 

 

“For knowing you’re not a bad person.”

 

Youngkyun’s mouth fell open at his words. He didn’t know Taeyang had heard him. Then his eyes went wide. Had he heard everything he said?

 

_ “... because I had to protect someone I love.” _

 

“I-”

 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Taeyang told him honestly. “I’m happy because you said it. You can’t take it back.”

 

“I don’t want to,” Youngkyun mumbled. “I don’t really feel like a good person, but I told you. I want to get better.”

 

Taeyang giggled, turning over to he was completely pressed up against Youngkyun in a hug.

 

“That makes me happy,” he said with a giddy voice.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes in a smile. “How are you such a child?”

 

“You love me though,” Taeyang said with a proud giggle.

 

Youngkyun froze, biting down on his lips as he pushed Taeyang away. “Ah, I need a shower. I forgot to shower last night after everything that happened,” he said, pushing himself off the bed and making his way towards the bathroom, specifically to avoid Taeyang.

 

He closed the door behind him, listening to Taeyang laugh behind the door as he turned on the shower. He stripped down quickly, opening the door and stepping under the warm water. Even though it felt like his skin was burning a little, the water felt nice. He pushed his head under, moving his hands to ruffle his hair under the stream of water.

 

He really had to stop getting so flustered around Taeyang, because it was becoming annoying. Yes, he loved Taeyang, but why was he getting so embarrassed over it? He had no idea. He could tell Chanhee he loved him all day, and he would never get flustered like this just because the other boy would say it. What was so different about Taeyang that made him so flustered?

 

But then again… he had never kissed Chanhee before. He never wanted to, either, but he still loved him. Yet Youngkyun had actually kissed Taeyang after four weeks of not seeing him, and he hadn’t even meant to. It wasn’t like he intended to, he just did it.

 

Did… did Youngkyun love Taeyang… like… as more than just someone important in his life? He used to see couples kiss at school all the time, but he never usually thought it was anything more than some artificial need for human contact from someone they cared about. Was it more than that?

 

Was it possible that Youngkyun actually… liked Taeyang? Not in the way Youngkyun liked Chanhee, but in the way people do in movies? Youngkyun had never experienced that before, and he didn’t know what it was like. Was this was it felt like to love someone? To really love someone?

 

Did Youngkyun like Taeyang… romantically?

 

The thought made Youngkyun choke on his own breath, shocked at his own thoughts as he rinsed his face with water, like he could drive the thoughts away completely, but they didn’t seem to want to leave. Youngkyun liked Taeyang. Youngkyun loved Taeyang. Oh god, Youngkyun was fucking screwed.

 

Youngkyun was just about to move to turn the water off when he heard the door opening, causing him to throw his hands over his himself and turn away, only to realize the glass surrounding him was completely fogged up.

 

“Taeyang?!” 

 

“I got bored,” Taeyang said honestly, closing the door behind him and taking a seat on the toilet after closing the lid.

 

“Taeyang, I’m literally showering.”

 

“Okay? And you literally ditched me,” Taeyang said, and Youngkyun could picture the pout on his face. 

 

“I thought I locked the door.”

 

“You didn’t.”

 

“But why would you just walk in?!” Youngkyun said, mouth open in complete shock.

 

“The glass is fogged up, so it doesn’t really matter.”

 

“Okay, but you didn’t  _ know _ that!” Youngkyun pointed out, causing the boy to laugh. 

 

“That was the fun part.”

 

“Why is me being caught naked the fun part?” Youngkyun asked, heat rising to his cheeks. “I’m very concerned right now. Not fun.”

 

“If the glass hadn’t been fogged up, would you be mad?”

 

“Yes!” Youngkyun said with a laugh, shaking his head under the water. “Most people don’t just barge in on others when they’re showering!” 

 

“Okay, but we live together, so it’s different.”

 

“That changes absolutely nothing,” Youngkyun pointed out, moving his hand to his head to fight back a headache. He wasn’t sure if Taeyang had caused it, or his surprise had. 

 

“It’s your turn.”

 

“What’s my turn?” Youngkyun asked confused.

 

“I asked you a question, so it’s your turn.” 

 

“Oh,” Youngkyun said, feeling a little dumb. “Okay, if the glass hadn’t been fogged up, would you have felt even the tiniest bit embarrassed?”

 

“Yes, but your reaction would have been worth it,” Taeyang pointed out with a laugh. 

 

“Punching you after would have been worth it, too,” Youngkyun told him, rolling his eyes.

 

“Draw a dinosaur.”

 

“What?” Youngkyun asked with a snort.

 

“On the glass,” he told him. “Draw me a dinosaur.”

 

“I am not removing a single patch of this fog,” Youngkyun denied.

 

“I didn’t say you had to draw it right in front of your dick. Draw it up higher,” Taeyang told him with a small laugh. 

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, moving his hand to the glass. He started slowly drawing the figure of the dinosaur, drawing it with a small smile and short little arms.

 

“Happy?” he asked with a small smile Taeyang couldn’t see.

 

“Very,” Taeyang replied with a soft giggle.

 

“Can I come out, now?” Youngkyun asked, raising his eyebrows as he waited for an answer.

 

“I wasn’t stopping you before,” Taeyang stated.

 

“I mean can you  _ leave _ so I can get out?” Youngkyun clarified with a laugh.

 

“Fine, fine, fine,” Taeyang said, dragging his feet as he left, closing the door behind him. Youngkyun rolled his eyes again, shutting the water off before opening the door slowly and quickly grabbing the towel, wrapping it around his waist. He reached over to get his clothes, only to see the empty surface of the stool. Youngkyun looked down to the empty spot where his clothes had been and up to the door with utter shock.

 

“TAEYANG!” 

 

The only response he got was a cackling laugh from the boy on the other end of the door. Youngkyun pulled his lips shut, tilting his head back as he reached for the door. 

 

“I swear to god, if you pull down my towel I’m suing you,” Youngkyun threatened, opening the door to see a very amused Taeyang, hands over his stomach laughing. “Very funny,” Youngkyun said completely unamused. “Can I have my pajamas back?”

 

“Absolutely not,” Taeyang said with a laugh, falling immediately into silence when a knock rang from the door.

 

“Tae, give me my clothes,” Youngkyun hissed at him, to which Taeyang completely ignored, moving over to the door and peeping through the hole. He opened it quickly, pulling Juho inside and shutting the door again. Juho’s eyes immediately fell to Youngkyun, to which he looked to Taeyang with a sigh.

 

“You came,” Taeyang stated, looking to Juho with absolute shock.

 

“I’m sorry about what I said about your father and mother,” Juho admitted, rubbing his fingers across the edge of the manila folder in his hands. “And I’m sorry, Youngkyun, about what I said about you.”

 

“What changed your mind?” Youngkyun asked, looking down to the folder. He was finding it kind of hard to be serious while he had to hold the towel around himself to make sure it didn’t fall down.

 

“I went home and asked my dad if he knew anything about Haeseong… and he lied to me,” Juho admitted. “You were right, Youngkyun. He’s been lying to me this whole time.” Juho licked his lips nervously as he held his arm out, giving the folder to Taeyang. “These are copies of the originals, because I couldn’t take the originals. Just promise me one thing.”

 

“What?” Taeyang asked.

 

“When you do whatever you plan to do with these, make sure my dad goes to jail?”

 

“You… you want your dad to go to jail?” Youngkyun asked, shocked.

 

“It’s better than him ending up dead,” Juho admitted, releasing his grip on the folder as Taeyang took them from him, opening the folder to skim through the papers.

 

“We promise,” Youngkyun stated, looking to Taeyang with a nod.

 

“I’m sorry my father caused so much trouble,” Juho said with his head down.

 

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for your father’s actions,” Youngkyun told him. “It’s not your fault.”

 

“You have been through so much because of my family, though. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it all out.”

 

“Does this mean… you don’t agree with your father?”

 

“He lied to me, over and over and over again. He kills people and enjoys it, and tries to hurt others to protect his position. I can’t agree with that,” Juho stated honestly. “But I can’t help you anymore. I don’t want to be a reason why my father loses everything anymore than I already am.”

 

“Thank you, Juho,” Taeyang said, looking to him with genuine appreciation. 

 

Juho nodded. “Good luck,” he said quickly before turning around, walking out the door without a another word.


	35. Hwiyoung's Back

**** Youngkyun didn’t wait for Taeyang to stop the car, bouncing in his seat as he flung the seat belt away from his chest, opening the car door and slamming it shut behind him as he raced towards the building in front of him with a smile on his face. 

 

“Excuse, me, sorry, excuse me,” he said, bowing his head with little care as he moved around the people waiting in lines. He moved around the main room, ignoring the strange looks he got as he ran through the door to the back room, pausing in the doorway. 

 

Silence filled the room like a blanket, every face turning up to see who had run in so suddenly.

 

“Hey! Hwiyoung’s back!” one of the chefs called with a smile, causing smiles on every face in the kitchen.

 

“Hwiyoung?”

 

Youngkyun turned his head excitedly towards Yongchul, not waiting a single second to run forward, throwing his arms around the boy. He pulled him into his chest, smiling with all the joy in the world as Yongchul returned the hug. He felt like he was spinning as he held the boy close to him, ignoring everyone else around him so determined to never let go of this feeling ever again.

 

“Hwiyoung I can’t believe you’re back,” he stated, pushing back and looking him over, hands grasping the material of his shirt like he was afraid to let go. His eyes flickered upwards. “Your hair…”

 

“I’ve missed you,” Youngkyun told him honestly, pulling his lips into a smile. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come back sooner.”

 

“You’ve been gone for more than three months,” Yongchul pointed out.

 

“I ran into a bit of trouble,” Youngkyun admitted. 

 

“About T’s dad?”

 

Youngkyun giggled, smiling at Yongchul. “I guess you know who I am then.”

 

“No, but I know who your boy is,” Yongchul told him, smiling with a small nod of defeat.

 

“That’s hard to believe,” Youngkyun retorted with a laugh, just too overjoyed to be serious. “I was all over the news three months ago.”

 

“Well I don’t pay that much attention to the news,” Yongchul told him, pointing a finger at him. “But I did get worried when you disappeared after the news about his dad.”

 

“We’re fine now,” Youngkyun told him, giving him a genuine smile. “We’re getting better.”

 

“So what happened, then?” Yongchul asked, finally pulling his hands away and stuffing them in his apron pockets. “Where did you go?”

 

“Seoul,” Youngkyun told him honestly. “I went home.”

 

“Did you get to see your friend?!” Yongchul asked happily, showing his teeth in a smile as Youngkyun nodded his head. 

 

“Then… why did you come back here?” Yongchul asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“To tell you my name."

 

“To.. why?”

 

“Remember that promise we made?”

 

_ “I’ll tell you my name when I can quit,” Youngkyun decided, looking over to Yongchul with a smile. “By then, things should be better enough that I can actually use my real name again.” _

 

“I promised to tell you my name when things were getting better. I can’t exactly use my name in public yet, but soon I’ll be able to. And I count that as getting better.”

 

“I’m proud of you,” Yongchul stated, smiling as he reached forward for another hug. “I’m so proud of you, Hwiyoung.” His arms wrapped tightly around Youngkyun's back, and he just felt his heart rise in his chest as he felt himself being held close by a friend. A genuine friend that cared for him. The feeling gave him the smile on his face and pushed him to hug back tighter.

 

“Youngkyun.”

 

“Youn- Yougnkyun?”

 

“Kim Youngkyun,” Youngkyun told him with a smile, pulling back from the hug with bright eyes. 

 

“Youngkyun,” Yongchul repeated, testing the name out on his tongue. “It suits you,” he finally said with a small smile. “Kim Youngkyun. And Taeyang.”

 

Youngkyun looked behind him, watching as Taeyang stood behind them, shyly watching, like he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be in the back room like this. He wasn’t, but nobody was going to kick them out.

 

Youngkyun waved Taeyang over, smiling as the boy agreed.

 

Yongchul reached forward, pulling Taeyang into a tight hug. “I was so worried about you two,” Yongchul told them, and Youngkyun could see Taeyang's body tense from the hug, but slowly relax as he returned it. 

 

“Sorry it took so long,” Taeyang said, giving Yongchul a bright smile as he pulled back.

 

“It’s okay as long as you’re both doing well,” Yongchul told them. 

 

“We are,” Taeyang confirmed. “We’ll be living our normal lives in no time.”

 

“Well, then I expect a phone call and a whole day to hang out with the both of you. No masks!”

 

“No masks!” Taeyang agreed happily. “I’m tired of wearing them anyways.”

 

“Here,” Yongchul said, pulling a sharpie from his pocket and pulling Youngkyun’s arm forward. “If you don’t call, I just have to assume you both died.”

 

Youngkyun laughed as Yongchul finished writing the number. “We promise to call.”

 

“You better,” Yongchul replied with a soft smile.


	36. Part Three: Back in Daesin

“Does the plan get more complicated from here?” Youngkyun asked, thinking over what Taeyang had just told him. “I mean… getting a video is a stretch, but getting Baek Juho to work with us is going to be even harder. What’s next?”

 

Taeyang smiled at him. “Part three of our plan is a lot easier, I swear. Not exactly easy, but hopefully not as hard.”

 

“So what do we have to do?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“We have to visit Jaeyoon.”

 

“Damn,” Youngkyun breathed out. “I haven’t talked to Jaeyoon in… over five months. Not since before the break.”

 

“It’s been a while, huh?” Taeyang asked. “Well, getting Jaeyoon on our side isn’t as important as the video and the files, which we’ll need, but it would make things a shit ton easier.”

 

“So we have to get Jaeyoon on our side?”

 

“Yeah, like, publicly.”

 

↔

 

“You guys are a whole new level of stupid,” Seokwoo stated, sending the whole table into a fit of laughter. “Kyun, how could you just walk into a police station?”

 

“I didn’t get caught!” Youngkyun defended. 

 

“I can’t believe you not only went into a police station, but got Baek Juho on our side. I’m amazed and confused at the same time.”

 

“Why confused?” Taeyang asked, leaning down to sip at his drink.

 

“Because you two are the biggest dumbasses I’ve ever met,” Seokwoo said honestly. 

 

Youngkyun choked on his drink, trying to hold back his laugh as Taeyang patted his back. 

 

“We’re getting close though. We’re getting there,” Taeyang stated happily. “We’re gonna have our own lives back soon,” he stated with a smile.

 

“Good, because I hate always seeing those stupid masks on your faces,” Chanhee commented, shaking his head as he reached over to Seokwoo’s plate to steal a piece of his food. 

 

“You hate it? How do you think we feel?” Taeyang asked, shaking his head as he tugged at the annoying straps around his ears.

 

“So where are you going next?” Chanhee asked, looking to Youngkyun.

 

“Well, Jaeyoon is done his runs at four, so we’ll head out around three,” Youngkyun stated. “We’re going to meet him in Daesin, as always.”

 

“It’s always Daesin,” Chanhee said with a short roll of his eyes.

 

“Well, good luck with him,” Seokwoo said, raising his glass of water in a short toast. They all raised their drinks, taking small sips and returning them to the table.

 

“We should play this or that,” Chanhee suggested. 

 

“This or that?” Seokwoo asked.

 

“Kyun and I always used to play it when we went out, and then we played it with Tae, but we haven’t played it with you yet,” Chanhee stated, looking to Youngkyun. “Shall we?”

 

“Oh, we shall,” Youngkyun said with a nod, moving his head to check the clock on the wall. They still had time.

 

“Okay, Taeyang," Chanhee started, "booty shorts in public, that everyone can see, or a thong, and everybody knows you’re wearing it, even if they can’t see it.”

 

“Booty shorts,” Taeyang said instantly, giving him a cocky smile. “I would rock booty shorts.”

 

“Why didn’t you have to think about that? Have you thought about this before?” Youngkyun asked, causing Taeyang to laugh. 

 

“Is it my turn?” he asked, ignoring Youngkyun. Chanhee nodded. “Okay, Seokwoo, live life as a giant panda, or the world’s smallest lizard?”

 

“Panda, because if I was the lizard, I’d get eaten,” he stated, causing the table to erupt into laughter. “So, Kyun, spend a year in America or Japan?”

 

“Japan,” Youngkyun stated instantly. “America sounds like a shit hole.”

 

Seokwoo nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

 

Youngkyun smiled, turning to Taeyang. “Girls or boys?”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Taeyang asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“You’re bi. So which do you prefer?”

 

“That’s a very gay question,” Chanhee pointed out, causing Seokwoo to snicker beside him. 

 

Youngkyun didn’t know why this had come to his mind, but he genuinely wanted to know. He hoped he wasn’t asking for any specific reason, and just out of pure curiosity, but he wouldn’t focus on the reason now.

 

Taeyang leaned in, causing Youngkyun to jump back in shock. “Boys. Why?”

 

“Tae just made it even more gay,” Seokwoo commented, causing Chanhee to need to put his head down on the table to stop himself from laughing, not that Youngkyun was paying a large amount of attention to them. He was focused more on how close Taeyang was, and how red his face was becoming.

 

“I- just- I was just curious,” Youngkyun forced out, causing Chanhee to lose his cool and start cackling in laughter. “What’s so funny?!”

 

“You know what’s funny,” Chanhee told him, lifting up his head with a laugh. “You know.”

 

“My turn!” Taeyang said with a smile, easily shifting the focus of attention. “So, Chanhee, Seokwoo’s face or his dick?”

 

“TAEYANG!” Seokwoo gaped at him, looking to Chanhee with concern as he choked on his own breath. Youngkyun couldn’t help but snort at their reactions.

 

“What the fuck kind of question is that?!” Chanhee asked.

 

“I thought we were talking about gay stuff. Is that not the topic? Oh well, Chanhee, don’t think I haven’t noticed your hand on my pal’s lap,” he stated with a wink. “So which is it?”

 

“Why are those the only two options, though?” Seokwoo asked, exasperated.

 

“Oh, sorry, I just assumed Chanhee bottomed,” Taeyang stated, causing Chanhee to keel over in a hysterical fit of coughing. “We can change it to his face or his ass if that fits better?”

 

“TAEYANG!”

 

“What? I’m having so much fun,” Taeyang said with an innocent smile. 

 

“We don’t- we haven’t-” Chanhee struggled, causing Seokwoo’s face to turn bright red beside him.

 

“Oh my god,” Taeyang said, his mouth falling open. “You guys haven’t…?”

 

“No!” Seokwoo stated, gaping at his friend.

 

“Well it’s been like… four months, I just had to assume,” Taeyang said with a shrug. “So, okay, hypothetical, then.”

 

“Face,” Chanhee said immediately. “Face. His face. I guess,” Chanhee said, waving his hands across the table to end that topic. “My turn? Great. Taeyang, Youngkyun’s face or his dick?!”

 

Youngkyun choked on the air around him as Chanhee said that, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks as he glared across the table.

 

“We’re not even in a relationship!” Taeyang stated, gaping at Chanhee while Seokwoo fell into a fit of laughter.

 

“You’ve kissed twice to my knowledge, and I’m sure you’ve kissed more than that.”

 

“Unrelated!” Youngkyun claimed.

 

“Completely related,” Chanhee replied.

 

“I asked that because you’re a couple! Why would Kyun and I sleep with each other?”

 

“You had your tongues down each other’s throats when I walked in on you both,” Seokwoo commented with a shrug.

 

“We didn’t use tongue!” Taeyang defended. 

 

“Still unrelated!” Youngkyun claimed.

 

“Fine, I’ll change the question,” Chanhee decided with a roll of his eyes. “Kissing Kyun, or cuddling with him every single night?”

 

“What the fuck?!” Youngkyun asked, gaping at Chanhee.

 

“What? You cuddle every night, and apparently kiss as you please. This is a valid question. Tae?”

 

“Cuddle!” Taeyang decided easily. “Okay?”

 

Chanhee nodded, showing he approved of the answer.

 

“I have an idea,” Seokwoo declared. “Instead of this, let’s play truth or dare,” he stated, looking directly at Taeyang.

 

“Or not,” Taeyang decided quickly.

 

“Yeah, I like the game we’re playing,” Youngkyun agreed, remembering what had happened the last time he played truth or dare with Taeyang.

 

“Oh, I like Seokwoo’s idea,” Chanhee agreed. 

 

“No,” Youngkyun denied.

 

“Taeyang, truth or dare?” Seokwoo asked.

 

“Woah, woah, woah, hold on. If we’re doing this fair, I get to ask the first question!” Taeyang interjected. “I just got asked the last question. It’s my turn.”

 

“Or we could just… not play,” Youngkyun suggested.

 

“Fine, go ahead,” Seokwoo decided, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

 

“Truth or dare?” Taeyang asked him.

 

“Truth.”

 

“Exactly how many times have you dreamed about you and Chanhee together?”

 

“Oh my god, Tae,” Chanhee mumbled, cradling his head in his hands. 

 

Seokwoo gave Taeyang a smug look, laying back easily in his chair. “Five.”

 

“Seokwoo!” Chanhee called, smacking him on the shoulder.

 

Taeyang leaned over to Youngkyun, holding his hand up to his ear. “Seokwoo will answer any truth in truth or dare. He never passes.”

 

“We don’t pass in this version!” Chanhee decided, looking pointedly at Taeyang.

 

“Youngkyun, truth or dare?” Seokwoo asked.

 

“I have never felt more scared in my life. Truth,” Youngkyun decided, to afraid to say dare.

 

“Do you enjoy kissing Tae?”

 

“Why can’t we just play a different game?!” Youngkyun cried, looking between everybody at the table in complete misery. Nobody responded. “Fine. Yes,” he mumbled, refusing to look at Taeyang by his side. “Chanhee, truth or dare?”

 

“Truth,” Chanhee decided easily.

 

“Top or bottom with Seokwoo?” 

 

“That’s a personal question,” Chanhee attempted.

 

“I don’t care,” Youngkyun said, crossing his arms with a smirk.

 

“Wait, I’m interested too,” Seokwoo decided, leaning in.

 

“I have been betrayed,” Chanhee stated, side-eyeing Seokwoo. “Bottom.”

 

“That’s gay,” Taeyang commented with a smirk.

 

“Taeyang, truth or dare?”

 

“Dare, because I don’t trust you asking me a truth,” Taeyang stated.

 

Chanhee smirked, looking devilishly to Seokwoo and back to Taeyang. “I dare you to kiss Kyun, right here, in front of everybody.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, exhaling with absolute hate towards his friend. If Taeyang didn’t back down the last time, he wouldn’t this time.

 

Taeyang shrugged beside him, pulling his mask down and pulling Youngkyun’s down, smashing their lips together. The contact sent a shock through Youngkyun’s body, heat climbing his cheeks as he found himself moving his lips against Taeyang. He really hated to admit it, but Taeyang was a  _ really _ good kisser.

 

Taeyang pulled away with a smirk on his face, looking over to Chanhee. Youngkyun couldn’t bring himself to move.

 

“I guess he does like your kisses,” Seokwoo commented, watching Kyun. “He can’t move.”

 

“I’m deciding who I should strangle first,” Youngkyun stated, looking between Chanhee and Taeyang. 

 

“You could have at least acted like you didn’t want to kiss him,” Chanhee said to Taeyang with a shrug.

 

“He knew I was going to do it,” Taeyang said with an identical shrug. 

 

“Moving on!” Youngkyun decided easily.

 

“Yeah, we actually have to go,” Taeyang said, smiling at him before pushing himself out of his chair. “But before we go, Seokwoo, truth or dare.”

 

“We should just end the game here.”

 

“Nope. Truth or dare?”

 

“Truth,” Seokwoo decided.

 

“What’s the most romantic thing you can possibly think of to say to Chanhee?” he asked, sending his friend a wink before placing a hand on Youngkyun’s back, pushing him forward. “Have fun tonight!” 

 

“You totally just set him up to be a cheesy romantic,” Youngkyun commented as they walked out of the cafe and towards Taeyang’s car. Youngkyun noticed Taeyang didn’t move his hand, but he didn’t mind much.

 

“I totally did,” Taeyang agreed with a cocky smile.

 

↔

 

“Can I have your autograph?” Jaeyoon asked immediately upon seeing the both of them.

 

“What? Why?” Youngkyun asked, wrapping his arms around Jaeyoon in a hug as the boy walking into him, patting him on the back.

 

“Criminal autographs sell for a shit ton of money,” he stated with a smile.

 

“Okay, great, you’ve seen the news.”

 

“Who hasn’t?” Jaeyoon asked, reaching up to give Taeyang a hug. “Good to know you aren't dead.”

 

“Good to know you’re just as weird as always,” Taeyang stated in return.

 

“So what can I do for you today?” Jaeyoon asked with a smile, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Cocaine? Opium? Amphetamine? PCP?”

 

“Jaeyoon, when have I ever come for drugs?”

 

Jaeyoon smiled, giving the boy a small laugh and a shrug. “I have food coloring too.”

 

“Does… does the food coloring have anything in it?”

 

“No, it’s just regular food coloring,” Jaeyoon said with a giggle.

 

“And what are you on right now?” Youngkyun asked, hands on his hips.

 

“The wild ride of having a goddamn personality,” Jaeyoon pointed out. “I don’t think I’ve been sober since I was seven.”

 

“That’s upsetting,” Taeyang commented.

 

“Wait, you’re sober?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“After all that shit went down on the news? Yeah,” Jaeyoon said with a laugh. “I got scared they’d cut  _ my _ drugs and murder me, or maybe take my body and stuff it and keep it in their freaky little basement, I don’t know.”

 

“Jaeyoon. What the actual fuck.”

 

Jaeyoon smiled at them, pulling off his duffel and tossing it carelessly to the side. “Okay, but really, what are you here for? Shouldn’t you be… maybe not in Seoul right now?”

 

“Yeah, but we’re dumb and reckless,” Youngkyun told him.

 

“We need your help,” Taeyang cut in honestly.

 

“I have rules.”

 

“You... don’t even know what we need help with,” Taeyang pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

 

“No butt licking. No unwrapped candies. And no old ladies.”

 

“I’m not even going to ask why anymore. None of those are involved,” Taeyang promised with a black expression and a few blinks.

 

“Okay fantastic,” Jaeyoon said, clapping his hands together. “What am I helping you with, then?”

 

“We’re taking down FNC,” Taeyang blurted out, probably too afraid of Jaeyoon getting off topic again. “And we want you to help us. We’re turning in the drug cartel, but if you take our side and testify with good information, you can get cleared of your sentence,” Taeyang explained.

 

“Fuck it, I’m in,” Jaeyoon stated, looking to Youngkyun with a nod.

 

“You… you didn’t even think about it,” Taeyang pointed out.

 

“I’ve thought about it almost every day of my life,” Jaeyoon corrected. “Drugs ruined most of my life. Even I can admit that. I hate everyone here, and I hate Jaejoong. Let’s fucking get ‘em,” Jaeyoon said with a happy smile. “Also, Kyun, I applaud you for slapping Joong like that.”

 

“You slapped Jaejoong?” Taeyang asked, turning to him with an open mouth and wide eyes.

 

Youngkyun gave him a nervous laugh. “I may have gone a little overboard when I couldn’t find you,” he admitted.

 

“Kyun!”

 

“He didn’t turn me in!” Youngkyun defended. “And I got to punch him. So double win for me.”

 

“Oh my god,” Taeyang said with a roll of his eyes.

 

“So what do I need to do?”

 

“Kyun is going to text you an address,” Taeyang told him. “Meet us there, day after tomorrow, ten at night.”

 

“Works for me!” Jaeyoon agreed happily. “Can’t wait to watch these fuckers burn.”

 

↔

 

“Is it all set up?” Youngkyun asked nervously, his knee bouncing below the table. 

 

“It’s all good,” Taeyang told him, taking a seat beside him. He was wearing nice dress pants, complemented with a neat white collared shirt and a black tie he had taken from Seokwoo. He looked so professional, with his hair styled up away from his face with just a touch of eyeshadow. It was barely noticeable, but it made his skin pop, like he was the only person in the room.

 

Youngkyun was dressed similarly, a blue, pinstriped shirt with a neat collar fitted on him, tucked into a pair of Taeyang’s dress pants. His hair was up away from his forehead, a few strands falling low, but they complimented the look well. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this professional, if he ever had before. 

 

They had arrived earlier than they were told to, to which the lady at the desk allowed them to wait in the room for the man to show up. That was what the two had counted on, though.

 

The door opened in front of them, a neatly styled man in a beautifully tailored black suit appearing in front of them. He had his hair neatly gelled back, walking in with a small suitcase in his hand. He closed the door behind him, smiling at the both of them.

 

“You two must be Mr. Kim and Mr. Yoo?” the man asked, taking a seat across from them with a smile.

 

“Yes, very nice to meet you Mr. Park,” Taeyang said, reaching out with both hands and a small bow. Youngkyun copied him. He was going to let Taeyang handle the most of this, because he didn’t really know a lot about handling legal issues.

 

“Thank you for coming today,” Youngkyun said, giving him a smile as he situated himself back in his chair. 

 

“Thank you for choosing me to represent you,” Mr. Park replied.

 

“You understand, that by working with us, you will be asked to testify to a group of individuals, and possibly a court, correct?” Taeyang asked, shocking Youngkyun with how professional he could be. His eyes weren’t filled with malice or spite, yet they were fixed on the man in front of them with a strict seriousness. It was absolutely shocking to Youngkyun.

 

“Correct,” Mr. Park replied. “But you seem to present a decent case.”

 

“We appreciate your decision,” Taeyang told him, bringing his small bag onto his lap and pulling out a single paper. He placed the paper gently on the table, facing Mr. Park, and slid it toward him with the tips of his fingers. He smiled at him as he reached back into his bag, pulling out a simple black pen and placing it beside the paper. “Firstly, we would like you to sign this contract with us,” Taeyang stated, tilting his head just the tiniest bit as he spoke. “This contract states you will have no contact with, nor will you share information with the police, FNC, or its employees. The information we discuss will be strictly limited to us, and only us, until either Mr. Kim or I should decide otherwise,” he said, giving Mr. Park a professional, upper handed smile. “Please sign if you still wish to do business with us,” he asked, leaning back into his chair, like he did this every day for a living.

 

Youngkyun was genuinely shocked with how Taeyang, even when he was in the position he was in, managed to have the upper hand in a business transaction. Mr. Park had the power to call anyone he wanted right now, and yet Taeyang seemed like he was the one leading the deal.

 

“Gladly,” Mr. Park stated with a simple nod of his head, picking the pen up gracefully and popping the top off. He let his eyes run through the words of the contract, like he was just skimming a simple piece of art, before he placed the pen onto the paper, scribbling his signature and passing the paper over to them.

 

Taeyang moved it in front of himself, reaching out with his hand to take the pen from Mr. Park, who was already holding out for him. Taeyang flipped it around in his hand, moving it onto the paper and drawing his name in cursive. Without a movement of his eyes, he pushed the paper to Youngkyun, flipping the pen into his left hand and holding it out for him. Youngkyun adjusted the contract in front of him, taking the pen from Taeyang and scribbling his signature below his.

 

Taeyang took the paper from his quickly, placing it neatly in his folder of papers with a smile on his face. “Thank you, Mr. Park. I’m sure business with you will be a pleasure.”

 

“Thank you for the opportunity,” Mr. Park said with a tip of his head. “I look forward to it.”

 

Taeyang gave the man before him a nod, reaching into his bag and pulling out a small manilla folder. He placed it neatly on the table in front of him, unfolding it to reveal a plethora of papers, piled on top of each other in a neat order, edges all aligned perfectly.

 

He removed the top one, sliding it across the table to Mr. Park.

 

“This paper is a copy of the official company transfer contract between Mr. Yoo Haeseong and Mr. Baek Cheolmin,” Taeyang explained. “I doubt it’s authenticity.”

 

“Mr. Yoo,” Mr. Park started with a short laugh, “I cannot just tell if a document had been forged. I need more to work with.”

 

Taeyang nodded, moving the next few papers over to the other side of the folder and passing forward several papers, covered in printed text and scribbled signatures.

 

“While the paper you hold is a copy, I’m sure you’ll have no trouble identifying the authenticity of the signatures with these documents. Mr. Yoo Haeseong has signed every one of them personally.”

 

Mr. Park nodded, examining the papers with a sweep of his eyes. “If you would give me a few hours, I would-”

 

“Please examine them now to the best of your ability,” Taeyang requested with a simple smile, but his voice made it sound more like a demand. 

 

Mr. Park paused, looking to the papers with a sigh, barely noticeable, before nodding once, pulling the papers in front of him. He spent a while looking between the signatures, measuring them with a small ruler he pulled from his case and looking for suspicious blots of ink. Youngkyun hated the awkward silence they sat in while they waited and he felt like if he even breathed wrong everything would go to hell.

 

“The signature of Mr. Yoo Haeseong appears to be forged,” Mr. Park observed, looking up to Taeyang with a blank expression and sliding the papers back towards him. 

 

Taeyang nodded toward him, taking the company transfer document and placing it neatly into his folder. “And you will testify to this?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Mr. Park replied easily.

 

“Very well,” Taeyang said, pulling out three more papers and sliding them across the table with a smile. “Please check these ones as well.”


	37. Part Four: Fancy Living

“So we need a lawyer for the files we get from Juho?” Youngkyun asked.

 

Taeyang nodded. “I was thinking we could contact him after getting in touch with Jaeyoon. That would give us a bit of breathing room, because getting Jaeyoon should be easier.”

 

“That makes sense,” Youngkyun admitted. “Is that step four?”

 

Taeyang shook his head. “I kind of consider it part of step two, since it still has to do with the documents. But step four is easy too,” he said with a smile.

 

“Okay, so what do we need to do after we find a lawyer?”

 

“We need to get suits, and good ones too.”

 

“Suits? If we’re visiting a lawyer, shouldn’t we get the suits first?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 

“Nah,” Taeyang said shaking his head. “These suits need to be fancier than what people wear to work to look professional.”

 

Youngkyun gave Taeyang a small laugh. “So velvet?”

 

Taeyang snorted at him. “Not velvet, but fancy.”

 

“How many do we need?” Youngkyun asked, leaning forward.

 

“Four,” Taeyang told him.

 

Youngkyun furrowed his brows. “Four? Why four?”

 

“One for you, two for me, and one for Jaeyoon.”

 

↔

 

“You do realize Jaeyoon had probably never worn a suit in his life, right?” Youngkyun asked, looking to Taeyang from the passenger seat of the car. His face was dimly lit from the light of streetlamps outside, gently illuminating the empty parking lot they sat parked in.

 

“Well, maybe he’ll clean up nice.”

 

“Maybe Inseong should style his hair,” Youngkyun commented. “The purple undertones and the undercut makes him look like a thug.”

 

“It’s believable then,” Taeyang said with a shrug of his eyes. “If he gives off the vibes of someone who delivered drugs for a living it's more noticeable to the public, so it all works out perfectly.”

 

A car pulled up beside them, a smiling Jaeyoon in the driver’s seat. Taeyang gave Youngkyun a small smile before pushing his door open, climbing out to greet the boy.

 

“Hey! A suit shop?”

 

“Exactly where we need to be,” Taeyang said with a smile as Youngkyun got out of the car, smiling at Jaeyoon and gesturing with his chin for them to enter. 

 

“Do I need a suit?”

 

“If you’re testifying with us, absolutely,” Taeyang said with a nod of his head. “We’re fighting a country-wide company. You have to look fancy.”

 

“I’ve never worn a suit in my life,” Jaeyoon told him, thanking him as he held the door open for the both of them. 

 

Youngkyun smiled at him as he walked in. “Told you.”

 

“Tae!” Inseong cried, running over and jumping into his arms for a hug within seconds of them walking in. “Hello,” he finished with a light giggle. “Kyun, nice to see you again,” he said, immediately moving up to observe his hair. “Oh I did a fantastic job.”

 

“You really did,” Youngkyun told him with a smile. Inseong giggled, moving forward and kissing him on the cheek as a welcome. 

 

“And who’s this snack?” he asked, looking behind them to where Jaeyoon stood, more tense than if he was completely comfortable.

 

Jaeyoon looked from Inseong to Youngkyun with wide eyes, like he wasn’t sure if Inseong was talking about him.

 

“This is Jaeyoon," Youngkyun offered for him.

 

“Hello Jaeyoon,” Inseong said, moving his teeth to bite lightly on his lip as his eyes scanned very obviously across Jaeyoon’s body.

 

“You can check him out later,” Taeyang commented with a roll of his eyes, moving over to the door as Inseong tossed him the key, locking the place up. “We need suits.”

 

“Suits means getting naked!” Inseong cheered, throwing his hands up in the air as he moved back to the front desk. 

 

Youngkyun looked to Taeyang with wide eyes only to see the boy shake his head. Youngkyun had never been fitted for a suit before, so he really had no idea how it was supposed to work.

 

“So what are we looking for?” Inseong asked, grabbing Taeyang’s hand and pulling him to the back room behind the back room, ushering the others in the group to follow him. He had a yellow tape measure hung over his neck, a pencil tucked above his ear, and a pad of paper stuffed in the waistband of his pants for some reason.

 

“Black,” Taeyang decided. “For me and for Kyun. Mostly black. It looks powerful.”

 

“Damn right,” Inseong agreed, pulling Taeyang into the center of the room and pulling his jacket off for him, hanging it loosely on a hanger in the corner. There were three mirrors angled around the little step up in the middle of the floor, three soft looking chairs on the other end, and a rack to hold supplies and clothes.

 

Taeyang moved to unbutton his shirt, not even seeming embarrassed as he handed it to Inseong, letting him fold it quickly and place it on a tiny shelf in the corner. He took his pants too, leaving him in nothing but his underwear.

 

Youngkyun was really having an internal debate with himself. If he knew he liked Taeyang romantically, and had already sort of accepted it, did that mean it was okay to look at his body like that as well? Because Taeyang was fit, but not too fit to the point where he looked like he only ate salads for a living. He had a soft plush to his stomach, but it was tucked in with muscles that Youngkyun couldn’t fathom where they came from. His skin was pale, but not anywhere near white. 

 

He tried to act like he wasn’t staring.

 

“I need three black suits, and one other one,” Taeyang spoke. “Jaeyoon won’t be walking in with us, so his suit doesn’t need to have the same effect.”

 

“Wait, I’m walking in with you?!” Youngkyun asked, mouth dropping open.

 

Taeyang nodded, holding his arms out like a T for Inseong, who held his pencil between his teeth as he began to measure every part of Taeyang’s body. 

 

“You thought you wouldn’t be? No, of course we walk in together.”

 

“How romantic,” Inseong cooed, scribbling down numbers on his paper. “Tae, you know my style, and you know what I have. Come on, give me ideas,” he demanded.

 

“Okay, for my first suit, I want a black silk overcoat, with a long collar reaching down to the sides. Not see-through silk, though. I know how you are.”

 

Inseong gave him a small giggle, nodding as he moved the tape measure to his chest area. 

 

“No buttons. Pockets on the lower sides, and the breast pocket,” Taeyang told him. Inseong nodded again. “Are you writing this down?”

 

“I’ll write it down when I have a picture in my mind,” Inseong told him, pencil still stuffed between his lips.

 

“Okay, and I want a black vest as well,” he told him. “Same material, but a bit thicker. Four buttons, the casual vest look,” Taeyang told him. “If you could find a maroon, maybe a dark red colored collared shirt to go under it, that would be fantastic,” Taeyang told him. “Pick something that matches well.”

 

“And pants?” Inseong asked, pushing his arms up straight and moving the tape measure around his waist. 

 

“Casual black dress pants. Match in color, but not material. Get it as close to the look as you can. I want it all to flow together. If you have to improvise a bit, go ahead,” Taeyang told him. “And pick a nice, black belt that tops it all off. No silver, no gold, okay?”

 

Inseong held up in hand in an ‘OK’ symbol, stepping back for a moment to observe Taeyang’s body. “I like it. I have a picture in my head. This is going to be a great look on you,” Inseong told him with a smile, moving the tape measure to his legs. 

 

“What’s a good price range on that one?” Taeyang asked.

 

Inseong seemed to think for a moment, moving his head back and forth as he ran over the idea of the suit. “Probably five hundred thousand,” he said honestly. “But I’ll let you have it for three hundred thousand because I love you.”

 

“Oh don’t go making deals yet, I still have three more ideas,” Taeyang commented with a smile.

 

“Five hundred thousand for a suit?” Youngkyun asked with wide eyes.

 

“This place is high end,” Inseong told him without turning his head. “Best of the best. Also, I’m a fantastic tailor. Taeyang likes the expensive stuff, too, because it looks fantastic.”

 

“But still… that’s so much.”

 

Inseong shrugged. “If you’re Taeyang, it’s worth it. He likes his style,” he told him, flipping his pencil around in his hand as he wrote down the last of the measurements and the design ideas. 

 

“Done?”

 

“Done with you,” Inseong told him. “You have… wait, who’s the fourth one for?”

 

“Me,” Taeyang told him. “I need two.”

 

Inseong looked to Youngkyun with a blank expression. “Told you. He’s a drama queen.”

 

“Hey!” Taeyang called, grabbing his pants and jumping into them.

 

“What’s the next idea?” Inseong asked as he tugged his shirt over his head.

 

“Uh, I want a sheek black overcoat with a floral pattern, but one that doesn’t pop too much,” Taeyang started. “It should all be a thick black, with the outlines in a shinier black, but not one that would reflect camera lights. Not too busy, either. Pick one that isn’t too distracting and-”

 

“Tae, I know what a good floral looks like,” Inseong said with a roll of his eyes, watching as Taeyang slipped his arms into his jacket, probably trying to picture the look. “What else?”

 

“No pockets. One button, and cuffs on the sleeves,” Taeyang picked out easily. “And velvet.”

 

“I thought you didn’t want velvet,” Youngkyun spoke with a smile on his face.

 

Taeyang shrugged. “Velvet is fancy. Let’s go fancy.”

 

“Velvet is pricy,” Inseong reminded him.

 

“Hopefully I won’t need to be frugal after this, then,” Taeyang said with a shrug. “Black pants similar to the ones from the last suit, and a collared white undershirt. Black bow tie that suits it well, too.”

 

“Bow tie?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Taeyang said with a smile. “What about that one? Cost wise.”

 

“With the velvet? Probably one million seven thousand.”

 

“Oh my god!” Jaeyoon said, covering his mouth in shock.

 

“Only? I’ll take it.”

 

“You have to be kidding me,” Youngkyun spoke up, looking at him with wide eyes.

 

“It’s a good price,” Taeyang said with a shrug. "Inseong will let me pay him in incriminates, anyways. Kyun is next.”

 

Youngkyun looked to Inseong hesitantly, only to receive a roll of the eyes.

 

“Come on, Kyun! Strip down to the boxers. Let’s go,” he said with a clap of his hands. 

 

Youngkyun bit on his lip, shrugging off his black shirt quickly. He moved to fold it on the stool, but Inseong just took it from him, doing it himself. 

 

“Sorry,” he said with a shy giggle. “Force of habit.”

 

“It’s fine,” Youngkyun said with a shrug, unbuttoning his jeans and stepping out of them easily. He really felt self conscious standing in nothing but his boxers, which made no sense because Taeyang had seen him in this state countless times. 

 

He stood in the middle of the room, arms out like Inseong instructed, looking to Taeyang. Taeyang wasn’t look him in the eyes, though. No, Taeyang was looking over every detail of his body with his fingers on his chin, like he was looking for the perfect look. At least Youngkyun wanted to think that's why he was looking at him like that.

 

Youngkyun was worried Inseong would say something about his scar, but he didn’t. He didn't even point it out. That made Youngkyun feel a bit better. 

 

“Black dress shirt,” Taeyang decided. “Smooth. Make it neat. Collared, and let the sleeves hang a little lower, like around the cuff of his wrists.”

 

Inseong nodded, pulling out his tape measure and pressing it across his skin. The metal was cold, and caused Youngkyun to flinch. 

 

“Simple black pants, like the ones from my suits. I want a nice black belt, also nothing that pops too much.”

 

“It’s boring so far, Tae,” Inseong commented with a drag to his voice, like he was challenging Taeyang to make it more interesting.

 

“Who said I was done?” Taeyang asked, giving the boy a look of offense. “I’m thinking a busy over jacket, with a mix of white and black.”

 

“What about a sheek grey?” Inseong suggested.

 

“Something that contrasts the black well,” Taeyang agreed with a nod. “Make it busy, but not something that strains the eyes. I want it to bring out his features. Their eyes should be drawn to him.”

 

“If I’m walking up with you, shouldn’t their eyes be drawn to you?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow to the boy as Inseong pushed his arms down. 

 

“No,” Taeyang said with a shake of his head. “I want their eyes to be drawn to you. I want every face in that crowd to be looking at you, and every news station talking about you.”

 

Youngkyun flushed at his words, struggling not to move or show any reaction as Inseong measured his shoulders, forcing his arms up again. 

 

“Two pockets, no buttons, and nice cuffs,” Taeyang continued. “Do a matching bow tie. Mine should be neat, but his should have pinched corners.”

 

“Floral pattern?” Inseong asked.

 

“Yeah. Exactly matching,” Taeyang told him. “And velvet. Make it radiate fancy.”

 

“Tae… this is too much,” Youngkyun mumbled.

 

Inseong shook his head. “I absolutely love it.”

 

“How much?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“None of your concern,” Taeyang told him, giving Inseong a threatening look. Inseong just gave him a wink in return.

 

“Probably around one million one fifty thousand,” he stated with a shrug.

 

“Taeyang! No! No velvet!”

 

“Yes velvet,” Taeyang retorted. “Inseong, do velvet.”

 

“Of course,” Inseong replied with a smile.

 

Youngkyun gaped at the two of them, watching in shock as they teamed up against him. He really felt so bad having Taeyang spend so much money on him for a single suit.

 

“I got it,” Inseong said with a nod, patting Youngkyun on the back so he could get dressed again. “Jaeyoon, you’re next.”

 

Youngkyun moved over to his clothes as Jaeyoon got up from the seat he had been silently sitting in this entire time. He pulled his shirt off, replacing Youngkyun’s clothes on the shelf while Inseong wrote down what Taeyang had told him. 

 

Youngkyun took his seat by Taeyang with a soft smile while Jaeyoon stepped up to the center of the room, Inseong looking him up and down. 

 

“What do you do for a living?” Inseong asked, placing his hand on his shoulder as he stretched the measuring tape out. He hadn’t done that with Youngkyun or Taeyang.

 

“I, uh, I’m a public vendor for a highly requested company,” Jaeyoon told him, smiling somewhat proudly as Inseong’s fingers traveled down the length of his arm.

 

Youngkyun and Taeyang looked over to each other at the same time, communicating without words about the bullshit Jaeyoon was trying to pull.

 

“So you sell drugs?” Inseong asked with a snort.

 

Jaeyoon’s mouth fell open at his words, causing the two boys in their chairs to snort in laughter.

 

“I- yeah.”

 

Inseong giggled, moving over to his ear. “Well I guess it doesn’t really matter what you do if you have the looks. And you definitely have those.”

 

“Inseong, can you just do you job without eating him?”

 

“Says the one who  _ has _ a man,” Inseong stated with a pointed look. “So, Jaeyoon, what kind of person are you into?”

 

“Why…? Every single day this week…” Taeyang trailed off, looking at Inseong with the most glazed over look in his eyes, like he was losing faith in all of humanity. “You- you know we aren’t a couple.”

 

“Men,” Jaeyoon told him, ignoring Taeyang. “I like tall men… with nice eyes,” he continued.

 

“Sounds like someone I know,” Inseong whispered, his hand not so subtly trailing across Jaeyoon’s hips.

 

“God, Inseong, how do you manage this for a living if you can’t measure one guy without wanting to fuck him?!” 

 

“Shut up, Taeyang,” Jaeyoon said with a simple wave, tilting his head at Inseong with a smile.

 

“I give it a week before they sleep with each other,” Youngkyun stated, looking over to Taeyang. 

 

“I give it three days,” he retorted. “Hey, Inseong. Can you do your job and focus on what I say while you flirt, or do I have to wait?”

 

“I’m listening,” Inseong told him, eyes dropping to his tape measure which just happened to be right near Jaeyoon’s ass. 

 

“Okay, Jaeyoon, are you dying your hair for this, or not?”

 

“I can if you want,” Jaeyoon told him without moving his eyes from Inseong.

 

“I’ve changed my mind,” Youngkyun mumbled. “I give it twenty four hours.”

 

“Oh, I’m a hairdresser too. Let me do it,” Inseong begged, eyes lighting up like a puppy as he looked up to Jaeyoon.

 

“You don’t have a sink or hair dye here,” Taeyang pointed out. 

 

Inseong’s expression changed in an instant, a smirk returning to his lips and his eyes dropping to a look Youngkyun could only describe as flirtatious. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to head to my place after, won’t we?” Inseong asked, tilting his head at Jaeyoon.

 

“I think we might have to,” Jaeyoon said with a cocky smile.

 

“I give it five hours,” Taeyang commented.

 

“What color do you want?” Inseong asked.

 

“Taeyang, what color?” Jaeyoon asked, still not moving his eyes.

 

“Pure black or red,” Taeyang said.

 

“Ooh, pure black,” Jaeyoon agreed, pulling his eyes away from Inseong for the first time since he walked in to smile at Taeyang.

 

“Great, then a red suit,” Taeyang decided. “Regular cloth, but neat. Red vest with five buttons, and a red suit jacket with two pockets, a breast pocket, and buttoned cuffs. And by red, I don’t mean Santa Claus red. I mean a nice maroon with a purplish tint to it, but very little. Like a sexy red.”

 

“You want sexy? I’ll make him look sexy,” Inseong purred, pulling the tape measure around Jaeyoon’s waist.

 

“Great,” Taeyang said with a roll of his eyes. “Matching pants with neat fabric, and a black collared under shirt. Give it a matching maroon bow tie with pinched corners,” Taeyang told him quickly, rolling his eyes as Inseong moved his hands across Jaeyoon’s chest.

 

“Should we… should we just… go now?” Youngkyun asked, looking between the boys in the center of the room and Taeyang.

 

“Come back in two weeks for adjustments, okay?” Inseong asked, not even looking up to him.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Taeyang said with a roll of his eyes, grabbing Youngkyun’s hand and pulling him with him outside quickly.

 

“Those two are going to fuck the second we leave,” Youngkyun commented, quickly following him.

 

“I’ll be shocked if they don’t.”

 

↔

 

“We’re getting so close,” Taeyang commented, shifting his fingers between Youngkyun’s as they walked. “I mean, we’re not done yet, but we’re already more than half way through it.”

 

“Wow,” Youngkyun dragged out, looking down at Taeyang’s hand in his. “That’s hard to believe. I mean, we’ve spent so many months staying in hotels. It’s hard to believe we’re coming so close to ending it all.”

 

Taeyang nodded, reaching over with his free hand to pat the back of Youngkyun’s.

 

“I can’t wait to walk around without my mask on,” he said with a simple smile. “I really mean it.”

 

“We’re in a park right now, and I feel like I can’t even breathe in the fresh air,” Youngkyun agreed, looking around him at the trees lining the small stretch of road they walked on. The leaves were all a fresh green, freshly bloomed for the spring, and they glowed under the moonlight. 

 

“Kyun… it’ll be summer in a week or two,” Taeyang told him, looking around at all the trees. Saying the park looked beautiful now would be wrong. It felt beautiful. The air was calm, but there was a nice, subtle breeze to it. The atmosphere was quiet, but noisy, and the sounds of the night filled the park. The stars shone down like little spotlights, and the moon glowed above them. “We started this whole thing when the weather was turning cold, and we went to our first hotel on the first snowfall.”

 

“And now it’s so close to summer…”

 

Youngkyun really couldn’t believe it, walking around and seeing the few people around him, walking by without a care. They didn’t care who they were. They didn’t care why they wore masks. They were just two people walking through a park in the nice weather. It felt so surreal.

 

“I want this,” Youngkyun told him quietly, not sure if Taeyang had even heard him. “I want to do this without my mask,” he continued. “I want to walk through parks with you every week, and I want to remember what if feels like to be a free person.”

 

“I get it,” Taeyang said with a nod. “I miss it. I miss being able to go anywhere I wanted, and being able to eat anywhere without worrying who would turn me in and who wouldn’t.”

 

“It’s hard to believe we’re so close to getting that back,” Youngkyun told him. “It’s been so long.”

 

“Kyun, I promise, after all this is over, I’m going to make your life so much better than it’s ever been before.”

 

“What do you mean?” Youngkyun asked, turning his head to look at him. 

 

“I mean, I’m going to make you happy. No more living with cousins who hate you, and no more delivering drugs for your keep in a house. No more being looked down on, and no more sleepless nights, worrying who wants you there and who doesn’t. I’m going to take care of you. I want a house together. I want to stay with you, but not in shitty hotels. I want to see you smiling from your own bedroom. One that you have. One that you don’t have to worry about leaving in the next few weeks or months. I want to cook for you and go for walks like we are now. I want you to be happy, and I want to be the one to make you happy.”

 

Youngkyun smiled behind his mask as Taeyang spoke, not really having a response to offer him, so he just placed his head on Taeyang’s shoulder as they walked. 

 

“I want that too.”


	38. Part Five: Taeyang's Worst Idea

“We’ll have to wait a week or two, maybe three for the suits,” Taeyang explained. “But we have to be completely ready in exactly four and a half weeks, so I’m hoping it’ll take less than three weeks.”

 

“Why four and a half weeks, though? You still haven’t explained that,” Youngkyun told him.

 

“I’ll get to that part, I promise,” Taeyang told him with a smile. “But part five is fun.”

 

“Do we need the suits for it?”

 

“Yup,” Taeyang said with a nod. “Well, to be more specific, I need  _ my _ suit for it. You don’t need to dress up fancier than a regular suit jacket and dress pants, which I can give you.”

 

“Why? Where are we going?” Youngkyun asked with a tilt of his head.

 

Taeyang gave him a smile. “We’re going to Cheolmin’s office.”

 

↔

 

“You suck,” Youngkyun told Taeyang, fidgeting with his suit. It didn’t fit him quite right, and he hated looking so fancy. He was dressed like anyone else in the building would be, while Taeyang was dressed in his black and red silk suit, covered with an overcoat. “You’ve had a lot of stupid ideas,” Youngkyun continued. “Going into Insik’s apartment was a bad idea. Stealing the dash cam footage was a bad idea. Asking Juho for those files was a bad idea. But, no, Taeyang, this really takes the throne. This is your worst idea.”

 

Taeyang gave him a small laugh, looking up at the building in front of them, towering up to the sky. 

 

“This isn’t funny,” Youngkyun told him. “There is not a single other place in this entire world where we are more likely to die. Everyone in here wants us dead.”

 

“Seokwoo doesn’t,” Taeyang told him with a shrug of his shoulders. “Which is good, because this entire plan depends on him.”

 

“This entire plan is a risk,” Youngkyun corrected with a shake of his head.

 

“Misoon should be coming out any moment now.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Misoon is Cheolmin’s secretary. I don’t understand why she would leave with Seokwoo still in the office.”

 

“Because Cheolmin is a terrible manager,” Taeyang told him. “Seokwoo has the dirt on everyone at the office, and the word is he overworks them all and expects too much, but they agree with his viewpoints, so they all seem to think they love him. Misoon is overworked to the bone. When my dad was still the CEO, Misoon would leave early some nights due to plans, and Seokwoo would sometimes lock up for her. He’s still been doing it for her from time to time, so if he offers, I bet you she won’t decline.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “This isn’t going to work.”

 

Taeyang made an ‘ah-ha’ sound under his breath as the doors to the building opened, a small girl with a pencil skirt and curly short hair walking out as she pushed up her glasses.

 

Youngkyun sighed. “That’s Misoon, isn’t it?”

 

“Yup,” Taeyang said with a giddy smile. “You got the plan?”

 

“Go over it one more time so I don’t fuck anything up,” Youngkyun asked.

 

“Okay. We’re going to walk through those doors without our masks on. We’re going to talk about a made up business meeting, and look busy. It’s likely nobody will bother us anyways, because the office is emptier around night now that they don’t have to worry about anybody catching onto the cartel. We take the elevator up to the floor below Cheolmin’s office, because only one elevator leads to the main office, and it’s on that floor. I’m going to slide my old ID card through, and Seokwoo is going to cancel the alert and let us in. From there, we’ll be able to just walk out and go down through the stairs,” Taeyang explained.

 

“I still hate it,” Youngkyun admitted.

 

“Just don’t let them look at your face too long.”

 

Taeyang patted him on the back quickly, ushering him to stand up fully with him and walk forward. Taeyang kept the case in his hand tightly against his side, while Youngkyun stuffed his shaking hands into his pockets.

 

He took a deep breath as they walked through the doors, the cool scent of fresh carpet hitting his nose like a wave. He moved his head down, but still towards Taeyang. He did the same.

 

They talked in hushed voices about some made up meeting, mentioning fake names they had come up with in their heads as they made their way towards the elevator. Taeyang pressed the button gently, angling his head almost completely towards Youngkyun’s as the doors opened, revealing two employees. They didn’t even bother looking to him and Taeyang, moving out of the elevator swiftly and towards the doors. 

 

They stepped in quickly, Youngkyun breathing out in relief as the doors closed. 

 

“Someone could still get on, so don’t drop the act,” Taeyang warned him.

 

“I literally hate you for this,” Youngkyun mentioned, pulling his sweating hands from his pockets and shaking them free of nerves. 

 

“You’ve mentioned that a few times,” Taeyang told him in a hushed voice, giving him a small smile as the elevator rose to their floor without a single stop. Nobody was waiting for the elevator at their floor, making it easier to get to the executive elevator without an issue. Youngkyun scanned the area around them quickly, not letting himself seem too suspicious as Taeyang pulled his old ID out, swiping it through the system. They waited for a few moments, Youngkyun beginning to worry they would be caught, before the doors slid open for them.

 

Taeyang looked at him quickly, giving him a quick wink before pushing him lightly inside and pressing the button to close the doors. 

 

“I can’t believe that worked,” Youngkyun breathed out.

 

“I know. I’m a genius. You can say it. We’re all thinking it.”

 

“I still hate you.”

 

Taeyang nodded with a smile as the doors opened, bringing them right into the lobby outside Cheolmin’s office. 

 

“Seokwoo! My man!” Taeyang greeted, giving him a bright smile as Seokwoo rolled his eyes.

 

“I can’t believe you risked coming all the way here for  _ this _ ,” Seokwoo said, raising the small duffel in his hands. 

 

“Thanks, by the way,” Youngkyun said with a smile, walking over at taking the duffel from his arms. 

 

“This is dumb.”

 

“Necessary though,” Taeyang commented.

 

“It’s really not,” Youngkyun responded quickly. “Inseong was right. You  _ are _ a drama queen.”

 

“Anyways,” Taeyang continued, “Thanks Seokwoo.”

 

“No problem,” Seokwoo muttered. “But I have to go, now.”

 

“I know,” Taeyang said with a roll of his eyes. “Go have fun with Chanhee.”

 

“I have a report due,” Seokwoo corrected him with a straight face.

 

“You have date night with Chanhee, I’m not dumb,” Taeyang told him with a smile, patting him on the back. “Have fun.”

 

Seokwoo gave him quick roll of his eyes and a short smile before moving over to the elevator, waving goodbye as the doors closed. 

 

They moved into Cheolmin’s office quickly, unlocking the doors without an issue and flicking on the lights. The whole office looked neat with its dark wood and velvet red theme. It radiated fancy.

 

Taeyang stuck out his tongue in disgust at the room.

 

“Not how your dad left it?” Youngkyun asked, placing the duffel lightly on the floor and unzipping it as Taeyang closed the door behind them. 

 

“Definitely not,” he said, shaking his head in disgust before moving to the desk. He let his eyes move across every detail of the desk, memorizing where everything was, and how everything was placed. “Help me move it all,” Taeyang said.

 

Youngkyun came up to his side, grabbing stacks of paper and placing them on the other side of the office, like an exact layout of the desk, but now on the floor.

 

Finally, after the surface of the desk had been cleared, Taeyang grabbed a small wet wipe from the duffel, wiping it over the surface to give it a glossy look.

 

He threw the wet wipe in the trash, wiping his hands together to get rid of the wet feeling on them. Then he moved forward slowly, grabbing the big wooden desk topper with Cheolmin’s name engraved on it. He picked it up, moving it carefully over to the floor with the rest of Cheolmin’s stuff.

 

Youngkyun smiled at him, watching Taeyang lay his briefcase on the ground, unlatching it and opening it swiftly. He reached in with a smile, pulling out his own engraved desk topper, finished off with a neat polish and his name on the front.

 

“I still can’t believe you managed to get that,” Youngkyun said in a low voice, watching as Taeyang placed it on the desk, right in the old one’s spot.

 

“It sends an important message,” he defended with a smile, backing away from the desk with a proud smile. He shrugged his overcoat off, hanging it neatly on the coat rack by the front of the office.

 

To say the least, Taeyang looked good. His silk suit was fitted around him perfectly, accented with the maroon undershirt and his polished dress shoes. He had his black hair styled up, exposing his forehead and his neatly done makeup. Inseong had done it for him earlier, proudly lining the tops of his eyes with black and adding small specs of it with a light shade of dark red, so they only popped slightly. He looked hot, dare Youngkyun say it.

 

“Ready?” Taeyang asked, looking down the duffel.

 

“Oh, right,” Youngkyun said, knocking himself out of his trance and moving to the duffel. He reached in, carefully pulling out the professional camera Inseong had lent to them. Youngkyun wasn’t even shocked to know Inseong was also good with photography.

 

He positioned the camera in his hands, watching as Taeyang moved swiftly over to the desk, taking a slow seat behind it.

 

“You look good sitting there,” Youngkyun commented. “You look like you should be sitting there.”

 

“Technically I was supposed to be,” Taeyang said with a shrug, leaning back in his chair and kicking his shoes up on top of the desk. “Remember to get the name tag in the pictures. I want pictures people can see and think they were taken by a professional.”

 

“I’m not a professional,” Youngkyun told him with a light laugh.

 

“So take a bunch,” Taeyang told him. “Sooner or later, you’ll get a few great ones.”

 

So Youngkyun started taking pictures of Taeyang. He made sure the lighting around them was just right, dimming the lights as he pleased. He even managed to stand up a white sheet behind him, which had been rolled up inside the duffel, to help with the lighting. 

 

They took some with Taeyang’s feet kicked up on the desk, his hands moving so gracefully towards his face. He made sure to look directly into the camera as much as possible, like he was challenging anyone who would see them to say he didn’t belong in that chair. 

 

They took some with his arms folded on the desk, and they took a few of him just sitting with papers in front of him, like he was meant to be sitting there instead of Cheolmin.

 

“Have you ever modeled before?” Youngkyun asked, lowering the camera as Taeyang stood up, grabbing his water bottle from the corner of the room.

 

“Of course,” Taeyang said with a shrug. “I’m a CEO’s son. I was in magazines all the time. Plus, I guess I kind of look good, so they always wanted me on the cover with my dad.”

 

“You do look good,” Youngkyun responded without thinking, not even regretting his words. 

 

Taeyang smiled, lifting the bottle up to his lips. “Thank you,” he said afterwards, capping the bottle again. “But I still hate it because of how ‘desirable’ it made me. I don’t know. It just added to the effect of everyone being fake.”

 

“Well you’re beautiful,” Youngkyun told him with a shrug. “But you’re beautiful on the inside too, not just the outside.”

 

Taeyang smiled at him, moving over to him swiftly and wrapping his arms around his neck. He didn’t pull him into a hug though, rather, he just stood in front of him with his arms hanging over his shoulders like that. 

 

“Did you know you’re pretty?” he asked suddenly.

 

Heat flushed to Youngkyun’s face and he suddenly realized Taeyang had trapped him in front of him like this so he couldn’t escape.

 

Youngkyun moved his eyes to the ground, avoiding Taeyang’s gaze. “You’re all dressed up in front of me. You’re the pretty one,” Youngkyun mumbled.

 

“But you’re pretty all the time,” Taeyang told him with a giddy smile. “You’re always pretty.”

 

“You’re prettier,” Youngkyun challenged, still not looking him in the eyes.

 

“Kyun,” Taeyang called, tilting his head like he was just begging him to look up at him. When he finally did, it was like he caught Taeyang off guard. Taeyang’s jaw slacked, his eyes flickering over every detail of his face. Youngkyun couldn’t find the words to say anything, Taeyang’s arms still wrapped around his neck, so he just watched Taeyang’s eyes. They moved from his eyes to his lips, quickly flickering back up to his eyes. Youngkyun had to be imagining that, though. He was just seeing things. Taeyang hadn’t actually done that.

 

But then Taeyang did it again, any hint of a smile dropping as he seemed to lean in just a bit closer to Youngkyun. Youngkyun felt his breath hitch in his throat as Taeyang moved closer, arms still locked around his neck. He wasn’t sure what to do. Was… was Taeyang going to kiss him? What if he wasn’t? What if Youngkyun was overlooking things and he was wrong? 

 

But Taeyang moved closer to him, so close, until his head was tilting, lips centimeters from his own. Youngkyun didn’t move forward, too afraid he would be wrong, but he didn’t move away either. He frozen in his spot as Taeyang froze in his, like he was waiting for Youngkyun to give him a sign that this was okay. Youngkyun felt like he couldn’t breathe though, so it was hard to think of any sign he could give the boy.

 

Youngkyun was about to move away, thinking this was too much for him to handle and that he was going to fuck something up, when Taeyang closed the space between them, pressing their lips together in one sweet movement. Youngkyun felt his eyes fluttering shut as Taeyang’s lips moved against his, and he found his arms moving to hover over Taeyang’s hips, not quite sure what he was supposed to do with them. He didn’t get a chance to move his hands any further, though, feeling Taeyang’s lips move away from his with a single breath.

 

Youngkyun felt his eyes opening, looking down at the space between him but not daring to look up at Taeyang. He wanted to kiss Taeyang more. He didn’t know what he wanted, exactly, or what Taeyang wanted, but he knew he wanted to kiss him again. He wanted to wrap his arms around his waist and kiss him again and again and again. Youngkyun wanted to kiss him until he ran out of breath, but he wasn’t sure if that was what Taeyang wanted. He wasn't even sure why  _he_ wanted that.

 

Had Taeyang wanted to kiss him more, too? Or had Taeyang just been caught up in the moment like he had back outside the 7-eleven? 

 

Taeyang cleared his throat, taking a quick step back from Youngkyun and looking around the room aimlessly. Youngkyun wanted to tell him how he felt, but he couldn’t seem to find the words. The thought just kept appearing into his mind.  _ What if you’re wrong? _

 

“Do you think we have enough pictures?” Taeyang asked suddenly, tugging at the collar of his shirt as he took another step back from Youngkyun. He really hated himself for not saying something sooner, letting Taeyang feel awkward about what had just happened, but he felt like it was too late to say anything now. 

 

“Uhm, yeah,” Youngkyun said with a quick nod, averting his eyes to the camera hanging around his neck.

 

“Okay, then- then I guess we can clean up,” Taeyang said with a quick nod, moving towards the things on the floor to return them neatly to Cheolmin’s desk. Youngkyun focused on packing the camera away neatly, tucking everything safely into the duffel.

 

They cleaned up in a thick silence, not even looking at each other. It felt so awkward, and Youngkyun completely blamed himself for that. 

 

“Hey, what are these?” Youngkyun asked, pulling out a small pack of juice boxes that had been hidden underneath the equipment in the duffel.

 

“Oh, did Seokwoo pack those?” Taeyang asked him from across the room.

 

“Should we bring them back to the room and drink them?” Youngkyun asked, finally looking up to Taeyang.

 

“I mean… I have another idea.”

 

↔

 

“This is much better than drinking in our room,” Youngkyun admitted, closing his eyes as a breeze blew by. The weather was so warm, but it wasn’t terribly hot, so it was perfect for just sitting outside. 

 

“I have to agree,” Taeyang said through a small laugh, sipping at his juice. 

 

Youngkyun opened his eyes to look at the skyline around him, lined with tall buildings that couldn’t quite reach the height they were at. 

 

“I didn’t even know you could get to the roof of FNC,” Youngkyun told him.

 

Taeyang shrugged with a smile. “Most people don’t. I liked coming up here a lot, because it always felt so stuffy around the businessmen. It’s nicer up here.”

 

Youngkyun nodded. “It is nicer.”

 

The two fell into a silence again as they sipped at their juice. Youngkyun hoped it didn’t feel like an awkward silence for Taeyang, because it didn’t for him. They hadn't said anything about what happened, but they seemed to mutually agree to ignore it. Youngkyun would bring it up again when he thought he was emotionally ready to hold a conversation about it.

 

“If you had to live the rest of your life in darkness, would you really mind?” Taeyang asked, turning to him.

 

“Does darkness mean just the sky, or does it mean there’s no stars, no moon, and no city lights?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“Just a dark sky,” Taeyang clarified.

 

“I wouldn’t mind,” Youngkyun said with a shake of his head. “It’d get cold, and we’d probably all freeze to death eventually, but the night is always nicer than the daytime,” Youngkyun admitted. “It’s more calm.”

 

“Yeah, me too,” Taeyang said quietly.

 

“If you could tell everyone from our old school that you were a virgin, do you think you’d want to do it?”

 

Taeyang gave him a small laugh, lifting the straw of his juice box to his lips. “That got deep fast.”

 

Youngkyun shrugged. “The deeper questions are easier to think of.”

 

Taeyang sighed, looking out at the city around them. “Yeah,” he said simply. “I don’t think I care what other people think about me anymore. I mean, obviously, I do a little bit. But in the sense that I want them to see me as who I am, not a bunch of lies.”

 

Youngkyun nodded. “I think you should. After all of this is over, if you want.”

 

“You think so?” Taeyang asked.

 

Youngkyun nodded. “You want people to see you for who you really are. I think who you really are is better than any image you aspired to be.”

 

“That’s sweet,” Taeyang said with a simple smile. His hand moved by Youngkyun’s side, freezing next to his fingers, like he wanted to take his hand, but was too afraid too. Youngkyun didn’t want to screw it up this time. He moved his fingers to close the gap, linking their fingers together lightly on the bench between them. They didn’t say anything about it, but Youngkyun could see the small smile pulling at Taeyang’s lips.

 

“Have you.. Wait, no,” Taeyang started with a shake of his head and a light smile. “Let me ask this as a question in our game. If you… ah, damn. This is hard. If… if I wanted to know about your past relationships, would you tell me? I’m interested,” he finished with a light laugh. 

 

Youngkyun felt his cheeks warm at the question. “Yeah, sure,” he said with a one-sided shrug. “I’ve never had any.”

 

“Wait, seriously?” Taeyang asked, turning over to him with wide eyes. “You mean…?

 

“What? You were my first kiss? Yeah,” Youngkyun said with another shrug, looking to the ground by his feet as he said it. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve never been asked before, but I just never got the point of it. I didn’t understand what the point of a relationship was.”

 

Taeyang went silent beside him, causing Youngkyun to laugh lightly, shifting closer to him and leaning his head on his shoulder. He wasn't sure what came over him to prompt him to do that, but it felt like a place he belonged at the moment. And it felt comfortable. 

 

“If you had choose your favorite relationship of all time, would you choose one and tell me?” Youngkyun asked, watching the clouds move by over the city buildings. 

 

“They were all so artificial, though,” Taeyang told him. “I never actually kissed anyone I liked, and I never really enjoyed doing it. I wouldn’t really call those relationships, because they never went on longer than a week.”

 

Youngkyun felt a little jump in his chest as Taeyang spoke, but he wasn’t sure why. What could the boy have possibly said in that to cause a reaction out of him?

 

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Youngkyun told him.

 

“Then ours,” Taeyang decided quickly.

 

“But we’re not a real couple,” Youngkyun pointed out, feeling like the words were a lie on his tongue. Did Youngkyun want to be in a relationship with Taeyang? What did that even mean? He liked him, he liked him a lot, but what did a relationship mean? Why was it any different from how they were now? Would being in a relationship change anything?

 

“We pretended to be, though,” Taeyang stated. “We kissed, held hands, and acted like a real couple. So I’m counting it. Best relationship.”

 

Youngkyun giggled on his shoulder, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. “It’s sad that your favorite relationship is one that isn’t even real.”

 

“Yeah, well that means you haven’t even had a boyfriend before,” Taeyang pointed out in his defense. “You kissed a guy you aren’t dating, and you’re even holding his hand. How scandalous,” he teased with puffed cheeks and a light laugh. 

 

“Well, at least I’m not the one that kisses him without hesitation in every single game of truth or dare,” Youngkyun pointed out with a laugh. 

 

“Wow, way to call me out, Kyun,” Taeyang responded with a chuckle, moving his head down to rest on Youngkyun’s. 

 

To be honest, Youngkyun really liked being next to Taeyang. He liked holding his hand, laying his head on his shoulder, and just casually talking about the things that embarrassed them before. It felt comfortable. Would being a couple really change anything? If they were a couple, would they still do this together? Or would it be different? Would Youngkyun be able to tell him how he felt without feeling like he was saying something wrong? Would he be able to kiss Taeyang right now, just because he wanted to? Would it change anything, or would it be just as it was now?


	39. Part Six: Going Viral

“I think we should take out step five,” Youngkyun told him honestly.

 

“We need pictures of me at Cheolmin’s desk,” Taeyang insisted.

 

“Okay, but have you thought about the likelihood that we would be able to walk in there without being caught?”

 

“Thought about it and now we’re moving on,” Taeyang said with a goofy smile. “Step six!”

 

“Oh lord,” Youngkyun mumbled with a roll of his eyes.

 

“This step brings together like… every single thing we’ve done except for the suits,” Taeyang told him. “We need to meet Youngbin.”

 

“Youngbin? You mean the news reporter?”

 

Taeyang nodded with a smile exposing his teeth. “We’re going viral.”

 

↔

 

“There he is,” Taeyang said with a sadistic smirk, watching through the bushes as Youngbin left the taxi, sipping at his coffee. 

 

“This is so extra,” Youngkyun commented, watching as Youngbin entered the cafe in front of him, most likely to work on a story guessing by the bag he had strapped around his shoulder.

 

“I bet he misses us.”

 

“I really bet he doesn’t. We literally met once,” Youngkyun retorted. 

 

“Nah, he’ll be ecstatic,” Taeyang decided, pulling Youngkyun up as they moved toward the cafe. Youngkyun made sure to pull the mask over his face, securing it over his ears as they walked in.

 

Youngbin looked up lightly at the sound of the door, looking back down to his work before looking back up with wide eyes. Taeyang smiled beside him with a big wave while Youngkyun regretted his life decisions.

 

“Oh my god,” Youngbin mumbled, closing his laptop and waving the two over. Taeyang looked over to Youngkyun, giving him a cocky wink before moving to sit down with Youngbin. Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a sigh and joined them.

 

“Nice to see you again,” Taeyang said with a smile, only visible through his eyes.

 

“I can’t believe you’re still alive,” Youngbin commented in awe. “And Youngkyun, aren’t you like… dead or something, now?”

 

“What? No, what gave you that idea?” Youngkyun asked, furrowing his brows as he folded his hands on the table. 

 

“I have contacts, remember? My police buddy said after the whole situation with Kinam, they thought you died in an alley somewhere, which is why they can’t seem to find you.”

 

Youngkyun looked to Taeyang with an amused look on his face.

 

“I like that we don’t have to explain anything to him,” Taeyang said with a giggle. He turned to Youngbin. “Yeah, so you know Kyun got hurt right? The police didn’t release that info.”

 

Youngbin nodded. “Of course.”

 

“Well, we got him all patched up, so here he is.”

 

“Glad you aren’t dead,” Youngbin told him with a smile. “But what are you guys doing here then? You went to Seoul, but are you still staying there? Are you staying here in Anyang now?” 

 

Youngkyun shook his head. “We’re still staying in Seoul.”

 

“I hope you know how stupid that is,” Youngbin commented, bringing the straw of his coffee to his lips.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a smile. “We know. But we’re working on something.”

 

“I assume I am involved in this, then?”

 

“What? No,” Taeyang said with a sarcastic laugh. “But you’d want to help us if you were, right?”

 

Youngbin smiled at the both of them, sipping at his drink. “I guess.”

 

“Great,” Taeyang said with a smile. “Because you, my friend, have the opportunity of a lifetime.”

 

“Do I also have to become a criminal?” Youngbin asked, leaning his arms on the table. 

 

Taeyang snorted before shaking his head. “Not at all. You get to become the most famous reporter in Korea.”

 

Youngbin’s mouth dropped open at Taeyang’s words, like he heard what Taeyang said but couldn’t even begin to believe it. 

 

“You’re not serious.”

 

“I am dead serious,” Taeyang told him with a smile.

 

“So, what? You guys disappear for two months, go completely off the radar for another month, convince everyone you’ve either died or moved to America for another three months, and then show up saying you want to put yourselves on the news?”

 

Youngkyun opened his mouth to retort that, but Youngbin wasn’t really wrong, so he just closed his mouth and nodded.

 

“What on Earth do you guys have that you want to put on the news?”

 

“Everything,” Taeyang told him with a smile.

 

Youngkyun inched his chair closer to the table. “We want you to manage a news dump in your company,” he began to explain. “We’ll pay you five million five hundred won to do it, as long as everything gets released on a strict deadline.”

 

“You want my whole company in on this?” Youngbin asked, mouth falling open.

 

“Yup,” Taeyang confirmed. “We want you to oversee everything, though. Like, you okay every article and video that gets released. I know Anyang isn’t particularly local, but we want these articles out to the public all around Korea.”

 

Youngbin sighed, moving his eyes to the table like he was thinking of how he could possibly do that. “A station we hate runs the center billboard in Seoul. I can get a guy to hijack it,” he said with a nod. “Yeah, I can get the information out there.”

 

“Does five days work?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“Fi- five days?! For articles, videos, and full coverage?”

 

“Well we can’t really extend that deadline, so…”

 

“Oh my god,” Youngbin mumbled, running his hands through his hair. “Okay. What exactly am I in charge of doing for the next five days?

 

“We have pictures,” Youngkyun started. “These pictures show Taeyang in Cheolmin’s office, sitting in his chair. We want them on every article. Can you make the articles sound like a revolutionary comeback, but something that catches the eye?”

 

“Like… ‘Taeyang Returns to Retake His Throne’ or something like that?”

 

“Yeah,” Youngkyun agreed. “We want every article to portray Taeyang as the rightful heir to FNC.”

 

“I can do that,” Youngbin confirmed. “I can get those pictures on major news stations and billboards, too.”

 

“Even better,” Youngkyun agreed. “But these pictures need to be released at exactly 10:55, five days from now,” he stated, clearly emphasizing the time.

 

“Like…?”

 

“Like, articles get posted all at that time. Billboards all show these pictures at that exact time. Everything should be exact, like it was professionally planned.”

 

Youngbin nodded. “Okay. Why 10:55, though?”

 

“Because ten minutes later is when Kyun and I appear in public for the first time in months,” Taeyang told him with a smile.

 

“We were wondering if you could also tip off reporters from other stations and photographers to be outside the FNC building at 11:05.”

 

“I can do that, too,” Youngbin confirmed. “What else?”

 

“We have videos,” Youngkyun continued. “These videos show… well.. They have graphic images in them.”

 

“Like, porn graphic or death graphic?”

 

“Death graphic,” Youngkyun confirmed. “But we need these full videos out for the public to see. We don’t trust police stations, so is it possible that you can release these videos on websites only? I don’t want people who don’t want to see them seeing them.”

 

“So no big screens,” Youngbin clarified. “Okay, what time?”

 

“11:15,” Taeyang told him. “By then, we’ll be inside. Anybody in that room will be focused on us, not the news, so everything has plenty of time to spread around.”

 

“I like this plan,” Youngbin confirmed with a nod. “What else? What else?”

 

“Interviews,” Youngkyun continued. “We want you to conduct video and audio interviews with Taeyang and I so we can tell our sides of the story. We want them released at twelve, after the majority of the information has a bit of time to settle in.”

 

“I can do interviews,” Youngbin said with a nod. “But you do realize getting my whole company on board with this is going to be hard, right? I mean, this is an entire secretive information leak. That shit’s hard to control.”

“Please do the best you can to convince them,” Youngkyun pleaded with a smile. 

  
  


↔

 

“Are you ready?” Aesook asked, smiling at Youngkyun as he fiddled with his position in his chair. He was surrounded by blinding lights, a light pink background set up professionally behind him. Youngbin said the color was to make him seem more friendly. Youngbin also made him wear casual clothes, so he didn’t look like some rich sleeze trying to lie to everyone. 

 

“I- I guess,” Youngkyun said with a nod.

 

“Just be yourself,” Youngbin told him from behind the set, tapping the cameraman on the shoulder and whispering something in his ear.

 

“Be myself. Okay, okay I can do that.”

 

“In three… two…”

 

“Youngkyun, let’s start by telling the people who you are,” Aesook suggested, sitting with straight posture in her chair, mic pinned to her blouse and notecards tucked neatly between her fingers.

 

“What- what should I include?” Youngkyun asked nervously.

 

“Your name, how you got here, why you’re with Taeyang. Tell the story the people want to hear,” Aesook encouraged. “And look into the camera.”

 

“Okay,” Youngkyun said with a nod, turning to look into the camera. “Uhm, my name is Kim Youngkyun. I- uhm… I guess- Aesook, I really don’t know what to say.”

 

“Pretend you’re telling your story to someone who knows you,” Aesook suggested. “Look into the camera, and pretend Youngbin just found you outside that market. You have to convince him you’re the good guy. Tell him your story.”

 

Youngkyun nodded, breathing out as he looked back up to the camera. “My name is Kim Youngkyun. You’ve probably seen my face in the news a bit over… over the past few months. They said I’m a mu- murderer, and that I’m a… uh- a bad person. But I’m just eighteen years old, and I’m not… who they say I am.”

 

Youngbin made a ‘wow’ motion with his lips, patting the camera guy on the shoulder and giving Aesook a thumbs up. Youngkyun took that as a good sign.

 

“Can you start by explaining your side of what happened to get you on the news?” Aesook asked, a small smile pinned to her lips with kind, inviting eyes. 

 

“They… uh, the reporters- and FNC- they said on the news that I ki- killed Kinam in- uh- cold blood, but they never mentioned me getting hurt. I got hurt that day too.”

 

“I am aware you have a scar,” Aesook told him in a professional voice. “Could you show us?”

 

Youngkyun swallowed, nodding as he lifted up his shirt, showing the healing wound to the camera. “I was- I was shot that night. They’ll say I hit Lee Jaejin first, but he hit me first. I hit back in self defense so I could get away. When I turned around, Hwang Kinam sho- shot me in the side,” he confessed. “I almost died that night. I knew if I let him get away, he would kill Taeyang, and maybe more people, too. So, to protect Taeyang, I used Jaejin’s gun and I- I-” Youngkyun pulled his lips into a line. “I had to, because I had to protect someone I care about. I don’t have much proof, but the fact that they lied about my injury when my blood was all over the scene should be enough.”

 

“How did you meet Taeyang?” Aesook asked.

 

Youngkyun looked from her back to the camera. He could feel the sweat pooling on his hands in his lap, but he just clenched his fingers together and did his best to ignore it. “I met Taeyang in school when he approached me, asking for help. His father had gone missing. He had asked the people around his company, but nobody had helped him. He had gone to the police, and nobody had helped him. He felt like he was being lied to, and so he asked me to help him.”

 

“Why did he ask you if you two didn’t already know each other?” Aesook asked.

 

Youngkyun shifted in his seat. “I knew everything about everyone at school. Taeyang figured, because I knew so much, that I must know how to get information.”

 

“What did you guys find out?” she asked.

 

“We… we found out his father, Yoo Haeseong, had last been seen with a retired reporter, Kim Insik. We went to his apartment to speak with him… but instead we found the people who were... hired to clean up the scene. They had taken Insik to a secluded location, and they- they- they ki- killed him.”

 

“Was this the reason you went off the radar?”

 

“We went off the radar because FNC knew we knew more than we were supposed to. When Cheolmin was revealed as the new CEO, we knew something was off because Haeseong was still missing, and nobody had said anything about it. They chased Taeyang out of his own home, and came to find us on our school break.”

 

“What else do you know about this case?”

 

“I know the police were involved,” Youngkyun admitted. “The video we released of Haeseong’s real death was hidden away in a police office, where they kept it for blackmail against FNC. Taeyang’s ‘death’ was also faked by FNC themselves. They had Baek Juho identify the body, even when he knew it wasn’t Taeyang. They’ve been illegally selling drugs since 2007, to my knowledge, and they rope children into learning how to sell them at young ages.”

 

“And how would you know all of this?” Aesook asked.

 

“Because I was forced to work for them as a child, and I know what it’s like to suffer through that.”

 

↔

 

“The articles look great,” Taeyang told him, giving Youngkyun a small smile.

 

“Really? Good. I expected nothing less from Youngbin,” Youngkyun replied, switching his phone to his other ear as he walked around the building, making sure to keep his mask up and his eyes down.

 

“I’ve seen bits and pieces of the interviews they’ve edited, too,” Taeyang told him. “They’re good. People are really going to start realizing how much they’re been lied to.”

 

“About damn time,” Youngkyun told him quietly with a small smile, looking around him before pulling a small device from his pocket. “Call you back.”

 

“Good luck,” Taeyang told him, ending the call. Youngkyun shoved the phone in his pocket, moving to stick the small device in his other hand through the pinhole in the doorknob in front of him. 

 

He opened the door quickly, letting himself inside and closing it behind him. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, walking casually through the hall until he reached the double doors in the middle of it. He pushed the handle down easily, letting himself inside without a care.

 

“Excuse me, sir, but you shouldn’t be in here,” a man behind a small desk told him, looking up from his computers.

 

“Are you Mr. Jung?” Youngkyun asked, looking around himself at the auditorium. The lights on the stage were on, illuminating the empty room in a bright glow.

 

“Uh, yes, sir,” the man said with a small bow. He clearly didn’t recognize Youngkyun, which was great. It wouldn’t have been a huge problem if he did, but it certainly made things easier for him.

 

“Perfect, you’re running the tech for the board meeting tomorrow?”

 

“Uh… yes, sir,” he said with a short nod.

 

“Great, because you’re going to do me a favor,” Youngkyun stated, leaning over the small table in front of him. “Do you know who I am?”

 

“N- no, sir,” the man replied.

 

“That’s okay,” he said with a shrug. “But I’m going to be here tomorrow. I’m going to be up on that stage,” he said, gesturing to the stage behind him. “And I need you to do me a very special favor.”

 

Mr. Jung nodded in front of him, eyes wide through his glasses, like he knew Youngkyun wasn’t just a regular FNC employee.

 

“In the chance that something happens, I need you to play this video on the projector for me,” he said, pulling a small flash drive from his pocket. He handed it carefully to Mr. Jung, watching as he let his eyes run over it. “I don’t want you to look at it before then, and I only want you to play it if I ask you too.”

 

“Uh- uh, yes- yes, sir,” Mr. Jung said with a nervous bow.

 

“Perfect,” Youngkyun said again, with an angel like smile. “And do me one more favor. Don’t tell anyone I asked you this. Don’t tell anyone I was here.”


	40. If I

“Tomorrow,” Taeyang mumbled, hands folded behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. “We’re really finishing this tomorrow.”

 

“Part seven of your plan,” Youngkyun told him with a smile. “We have everything we need. The suits are all set. Jaeyoon is ready to go. Juho and Seokwoo will be at the board meeting. The interviews and articles are nearly done and ready to be sent out. We even have our backup plan ready,” Youngkyun ranted, looking up to the ceiling from his bed like it was a cloud filled sky of endless possibilities for tomorrow.

 

“I feel like I’m not ready,” Taeyang said with a slight laugh. “But maybe that’s just me feeling so… excited? I guess… because we’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

 

“I’m proud of you,” Youngkyun told him, corners of his lips turning into a smile. “I really am.”

 

“Thank you, Kyun,” he said, turning his head and shifting his body on his bed to see Youngkyun. Youngkyun moved his head to see him. “You’ve stayed by my side through this whole thing.”

 

“Worth it,” Youngkyun said, watching Taeyang’s eyes glow with a smile. “I get to see you walk in their and show the world who you really are.”

 

“You’re not watching it, though,” Taeyang told him. “You’re walking in there right by my side.”

 

“You’re the center of attention, so I’ll be a few steps behind you, watching you,” Youngkyun corrected.

 

“No, you won’t,” Taeyang retorted. “You are going to be right by my side. You’re going to sit in that car tomorrow, and you’re going to wait for me to open that door for you in front of everybody.”

 

“Tae…” Youngkyun whined, giving him a soft smile as Taeyang giggled from his bed.

 

“I can’t sleep,” the boy decided quickly, hoping out of his bed and jumping over to Youngkyun’s. The ripple from Taeyang’s more than enthusiastic bounce sent Youngkyun sitting straight up with a laugh, scooting back to make room for the other boy.

 

“We should be in bed early tonight, though,” Youngkyun told him. “We have to be up by 9:30 so Inseong can get us ready.”

 

“Yeah, but I can’t sleep,” Taeyang told him with a pout.

 

Youngkyun smiled at him, folding his legs in front of him and rolling his neck so he felt more comfortable. “Okay. Then what do you want to do until you’re tired?”

 

“I don’t even know if I’ll be tired tonight,” Taeyang stated, looking off to the edge of the room in thought. “Tomorrow is such a big day.”

 

“Well you can’t pass out on the stage,” Youngkyun pointed out, causing Taeyang to giggle.

 

“Fine, fine. Let’s play our game.”

 

“You go first,” Youngkyun told him moving his hand to rub at his eyes.

 

“If… if you could have it your way… would you really not want to walk up with me?” Taeyang asked.

 

Youngkyun pouted. “I mean…”

 

“Ha! I knew it!” he gleamed, rolling back and popping up again.

 

“But this is supposed to be about you,” Youngkyun told him.

 

“I never said that,” Taeyang said with a shake of his head. “This is about  _ us. _ ”

 

“It  _ should _ be about you, though,” Youngkyun told him. “If… if Seokwoo hadn’t been an issue at first, and you could have asked him for help instead of me, would you have asked him?”

 

“Absolutely not,” Taeyang said with a shake of his head.

 

“Assuming you didn’t know how things would turn out.”

 

“But I do know how they turned out,” Taeyang told him.

 

“No, no, Tae, assuming you don’t.”

 

“It’s too late. I’d still choose you,” Taeyang told him with a shake of his head as he crossed his arms. 

 

“Fine, fine,” Youngkyun agreed with a short smile.

 

“My turn. If you had to choose one moment with me that really stood out to you, would it be during the time we were at the hotels in Suwon?”

 

Youngkyun pulled his lips together, moving his eyes to the corners as he thought. What was one moment to Youngkyun that really stood out to him? The first one to pop into his head…

 

“The pool,” Youngkyun told him with a nod. “When you took me to the pool. That’s the moment that stands out to me.”

 

Why was it that moment, though? These was nothing peculiar about that time, was there? They had just gone swimming together. But no, it was more than that. That was the moment Youngkyun had realized how much he cared for Taeyang. That was the time he had seen Taeyang smile like he was the sun itself. That was the moment Taeyang became the light of his life.

 

“I liked that day,” Taeyang agreed with a smile, grabbing the blankets bunched up on Youngkyun’s bed and pulling them over his legs. “That was a good day.”

 

“I don’t know why it comes to mind,” Youngkyun lied. “It was just a really good day.”

 

“Your turn.”

 

“Okay. Uhm. What about you?” Youngkyun asked. “If you had to choose a moment, would it be the pool?”

 

Taeyang shook his head. “The moment I always think of is when I was sitting in the hospital, waking up to you calling my name after weeks of the doctors telling me you might not wake up.”

 

Youngkyun opened his mouth to say something, but he wasn’t exactly sure what that was supposed to be, because all his words seemed to leave him. He remembered that day. He had woken up with Taeyang beside him and called his name even though his voice hurt. He hadn’t stayed awake long, hadn’t even had time to figure out what was going on, but he had seen Taeyang, so it was okay.

 

“If I…” 

 

Youngkyun looked up to Taeyang as the boy spoke, watching as he bit lightly on his lips, like he was debating the question in his mind. 

 

“If… if I asked you to talk about the kiss with me… would you try to avoid it?” Taeyang asked, closing his eyes as the words left his mouth.

 

Youngkyun really wasn’t expecting that. He was prepared to avoid it for maybe a few more weeks while they dealt with the whole FNC issue. But Taeyang wanted to talk about it now. Maybe Youngkyun didn’t feel ready to sort it all out, but the feeling in his chest told him it was okay, even if he really did want to avoid it.

 

“I- uh. We can talk about it,” Youngkyun said quietly, looking down to his hands held tightly in his lap. “If you want.”

 

Taeyang breathed out a small laugh, looking up to the ceiling. “I asked to talk about it but I really don’t know what to say,” he admitted. “I guess- uhm. No, you know what, forget about it,” Taeyang said with a shake of his head.

 

“No, no, you want to talk about it,” Youngkyun denied, gesturing with his head for Taeyang to continue, even if he wasn’t looking up at him.

 

“Okay,” Taeyang said, folding his hands in his lap. “I- did you… uhm. Were… were you mad?” he finally pushed out, his voice cracking slightly as he said it. 

 

Youngkyun quickly shook his head. “I- I wasn’t mad. I was just… surprised,” he admitted.

 

“You didn’t… you didn’t seem to like it,” Taeyang mumbled, his thumb running over the back of his hand roughly. “I shouldn’t have- anyways. I just-”

 

“If-”

 

Youngkyun looked up to Taeyang quickly, shocked at his own word. He had started a question. He had started a question, and now he had to finish it. He had just been thinking about how Taeyang seemed so stressed about it, and how he wanted to tell him how he felt, but he hadn’t expected his thoughts to form into words.

 

Taeyang looked up to him, expecting a question. Youngkyun couldn’t hear anything but his own heartbeat. Should he change the subject? Should he say something? Was there a chance Taeyang felt the same? Was Taeyang nervous because he felt the same way Youngkyun did?

 

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to look Taeyang in the eyes.

 

“If I… told you I loved you… would you love me too?” Youngkyun asked, feeling the nerves rise in his stomach as Taeyang sat still, watching him with glazed eyes. He shouldn’t have said that. Taeyang wasn’t moving, just looking at him. He probably said the wrong thing and he should just take it back-

 

“Yes.”

 

Without a second of warning, Taeyang moved forward, cupping his face with his hand and pressing their lips together. Youngkyun didn’t waste any time this time, instantly moving his lips with Taeyang’s and pressing into the kiss. He let his hands fall to Taeyang’s hips as Taeyang moved over him, laying him on the bed as their lips smashed together.

 

Youngkyun wasn’t sure what the feeling in his stomach was, but he knew he felt like he was floating. 

 

He dug his hands into Taeyang’s shirt, pulling his body closer as Taeyang moved onto his arms, more or less pressing their bodies together on the bed. 

 

He pulled away for only a second to breath, diving back in with Youngkyun’s hands moving to his hair. He held Taeyang close to him, running his fingers over his skin and holding him tightly, like he never wanted him to leave this spot.

 

Taeyang pulled back, smiling from above him with glazed eyes.

 

“I love you,” Taeyang told him as he gasped for breath. “I love you, Kyun.”

 

“I love you too, Tae,” Youngkyun said, pulling Taeyang back down into the kiss. Taeyang moved to kiss his jawline easily, leaving Youngkyun with a happy smile as his fingers trailed over his back through the thin material of his shirt. 

 

He played with the material as Taeyang’s lips returned to his, moving up to the collar as sliding down towards the front of his shirt.

 

Taeyang moved his hand away from Youngkyun’s face, grabbing his hand slowly and moving his fingers towards the buttons. That was the only cue Youngkyun needed, moving his fingers to the buttons and popping them open clumsily as Taeyang giggled into their kiss. Taeyang pulled away, pulling his arms through the sleeves and tossing the fabric to the side as he moved back to Youngkyun’s lips.

 

“Is this okay?” Youngkyun asked as Taeyang pulled away again, looking up at him with all the admiration in the world.

 

“It’s okay,” Taeyang said with a nod, moving his hands to Youngkyun’s hips and sliding his shirt up. Youngkyun moved up, pulling it off quickly and flipping Taeyang down into the fabric of the bed.

 

“I love you,” he whispered again, moving his lips back to Taeyang’s with a light feeling in his chest. “I love you more than anything.”

 

“I love you so much,” Taeyang told him, pulling away from the kiss and lying his hands on Youngkyun’s hips, which hovered above Taeyang’s. “You make me so happy.”

 

“My little sunshine,” Youngkyun whispered with a smile, moving his lips to Taeyang’s softly. 

 

Taeyang giggled into the kiss, smiling up at him with a glow of happiness to his eyes. “I’m your little sunshine?”

 

“You’re my little sunshine.”


	41. Part Seven: Walking In

“I can’t believe this.”

 

“Shut up! You’re gonna wake them up!”

 

Youngkyun scrunched his eyes, releasing some type of moan as he was woken up from what was most likely the best sleep he had had in months. Although his mind had been blank through his sleep, is was the most peaceful blackness he could imagine. 

 

Youngkyun shifted over, rolling over and pressing his face into the nearest thing, which seemed to be Taeyang’s chest.

 

There was a chorus of coos echoing around the room as he wrapped his arms around Taeyang's bare chest, causing his brows to furrow in confusion. It didn’t sound like Taeyang talking. But then…

 

Youngkyun lifted his head quickly, the light stinging his eyes as he opened them, only to see Inseong and Jaeyoon falling back with wide eyes, cameras in their hands as they laughed. 

 

Youngkyun looked to his side to see Taeyang, bare chested, hair messed up in every direction, and clearly annoyed at the sudden noise. Youngkyun looked down to himself, pulling the blankets across his bare chest quickly and curling into a ball of embarrassment on the bed.

 

“What the fuck, guys?!” Youngkyun called, picking up his pillow and whipping it across the room. He watched Jaeyoon fall back to the ground with an ‘oof’.

 

Taeyang sat up beside him as Inseong laughed with a look so glazed over and oblivious, he was sure the boy had no idea what was going on. Youngkyun looked up to him, quickly grabbing the blanket on his lap and lifting it up higher, only causing Inseong to laugh that much harder.

 

“I can’t believe you guys-”

 

Youngkyun picked up his last pillow, hitting Inseong in the face.

 

“Ouch.”

 

“How did you guys even get in?!” Youngkyun asked, hugging his blanket to his chest as Taeyang blinked away the last bit of tiredness in him.

 

“Jaeyoon’s a criminal,” Inseong said proudly, gesturing his thumb at the boy who was sitting on the floor like a giddy child.

 

“Kyun? What the fuck?” Taeyang asked, moving his hand up to his forehead and rubbing at his eyes.

 

“Shit! What time is it?!” Youngkyun asked, moving over to the table beside his bed and grabbing his phone, flipping the cover up. He sighed in relief, throwing the phone carelessly back to the table. “It’s not even 9:30. Why are you guys here?”

 

“The better question is why did you two choose the one night you both had to get some actual rest to get sexy?”

 

Youngkyun wasn’t the one to throw the pillow at Inseong this time.

 

“Youngkyun throws harder,” Inseong commented with a pout, tossing the pillow uselessly to the side and moving closer to the edge of the bed. “But we  _ are _ on a time crunch, so maybe you two could wake up and… I don’t know, wash the smell of sex off?”

 

“Well I’m not just gonna get up and walk butt naked across the room,” Taeyang pointed out, pointing his eyes over towards the door. 

 

“Uh, no, I need to lay the suits out and get makeup ready,” Inseong stated, pushing himself to his feet and moving towards the front of the room where he had several pressed suits and a large suitcase.

 

“You literally only have to step out for a minute,” Taeyang told him with a roll of his eyes.

 

“Should have thought about that before you two decided to do it when you  _ knew _ I was coming over in the morning,” Inseong stated, waving his fingers and tsking at them. “What if I just turn my back? Will that make you feel better?”

 

“We just woke up to you taking pictures of us in bed together. Why would we get up knowing you could turn around just for shits and giggles?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“I’ll give that to you only because I would totally do that,” Inseong stated with a cheeky smile, quickly dropping it and rolling his eyes as he grabbed Jaeyoon by the hand, pulling him off the floor. “Fine. But I’m only leaving once. My work shall not be interrupted.”

 

“And what am I supposed to do when Taeyang is done?” Youngkyun asked, raising an eyebrow as the boy walked away.

 

“Shower together? I don’t fucking care. Just don’t fuck in the shower and actually clean yourselves.” Inseong didn’t give Youngkyun a chance to argue as he slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Youngkyun and Taeyang in a very confused silence.

 

“What the fuck,” Taeyang mumbled, just staring at the door.

 

“Where do you find people like him?” Youngkyun asked, shaking his head slightly.

 

“You’re one to talk. You have a whole Sanghyuk.”

 

“Sanghyuk isn’t the one cutting off Inseong’s hair for the fun of it,” Youngkyun pointed out, tossing the blankets off of him and making his way towards the bathroom.

 

“Wait are we really going to shower together?” Taeyang asked, popping out of bed. “Are you serious?”

 

“Well  _ I’m _ not walking naked across the room while he records it,” Youngkyun stated with a laugh, reaching into the shower and turning the nozzle.

 

Taeyang didn’t argue, rushing across the empty room quickly and slowly closing the door behind him. He moved quickly past Youngkyun, only stopping for a moment to kiss him on the back of the neck as he moved into the shower, smiling as Youngkyun’s cheeks flushed from shock. He wiped it away quickly and followed Taeyang under the stream of water.

 

“So…”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, leaning up quickly to peck Taeyang on the lips before grabbing the shampoo bottle behind him.

 

“Don’t make it awkward,” Youngkyun told him with a smile, rubbing the shampoo around in his hands and reaching up for Taeyang’s hair. “I still love you.”

 

“... Okay,” Taeyang agreed with a smile, closing his eyes as Youngkyun turned him around, rubbing the shampoo around the back half of his hair. “I love you, too.”

 

“I’m happy, you know,” Youngkyun spoke, moving around Taeyang so he could put his head under the stream of water. “Watch your eyes,” he warned, scrubbing the shampoo out. He wasn’t really sure why he was doing this for him, because he was more than capable of doing it on his own, but it was endearing in a way. It also gave Youngkyun something else to focus on other than Taeyang’s naked body, which, in his defense, was perfectly okay to focus on at this point, in his opinion. But they were supposed to be showering, not focusing on that.

 

“Good,” Taeyang told him, moving his hands up to help get the rest of the shampoo out. “I want to make you happy. Is it selfish to want to be the reason why you smile?” Taeyang tilted his head at him, blinking his eyes open under the water with a sweet smile.

 

“You’re already the reason why I smile,” Youngkyun said, his lips involuntarily turning up in a smile, not that he minded, though, because it only made Taeyang smile bigger.

 

Taeyang grabbed the bottle from behind Youngkyun, returning the favor and rubbing the shampoo around in his hair. Youngkyun couldn’t help but smile at the action, his teeth poking out from between his lips.

 

“I love it when you smile,” Taeyang told him. Youngkyun didn’t say anything in return, instead just flashing his teeth in a goofy smile, retracting and sticking his tongue out in disgust when the soap landed on his tongue. 

 

“Ew, ew, ahhhh,” Youngkyun mumbled, sticking his tongue under the water as Taeyang laughed, watching him suffer. “You’re not supposed to feed me the shampoo!” Youngkyun told him, not being able to help himself as he laughed while saying it. 

 

“You’re not supposed to open your mouth like you’re asking for it!” Taeyang retorted, moving his hands back to his hair. 

 

They continued washing each other’s hair like that in silence, just happy to be next to each other as the water rushed over them.

 

“Hey… Kyun,” Taeyang spoke as he flipped his hair back under the water, pushing it away from his face. The water bounced off his skin so elegantly, and Youngkyun figured he probably looked like a wet rat next to Taeyang, who looked like he came right from a Proactive commercial.

 

“Yeah?” Youngkyun asked, dipping his fingers in the small container of exfoliator. The funny part was that they had bought that while staying in hotels back in Suwon. Of course, it had been Taeyang’s idea, because he  _ had _ to have it, but Youngkyun had always used it, even though he never told Taeyang. And he saw the small smile Taeyang gave him as he rubbed it across his skin, like he knew he loved it the whole time.

 

“I was thinking…” he continued, licking at his lips. “Does… because…”

 

“Tae, we’re literally in a shower together a day after saying ‘I love you’. Nothing you can possibly say will be more shocking or embarrassing,” Youngkyun admitted with a laugh, tilting his head back under the water to wash the exfoliator from his neck.

 

“Does this… make us… I don’t know… boyfriends?”

 

Youngkyun really hadn’t expected that, even though he told Taeyang nothing would shock him. He let his hands fall to his sides as he thought about it.

 

“Do you want a label for it?” Youngkyun asked, meeting his eyes. “I’ve never really thought about relationships before. Like… I don’t know, is there standards for a relationship? Are there rules? Is there-”

 

Youngkyun didn’t get to finish talking because Taeyang leaned forward, pressing their lips together momentarily before pulling back with a smile. 

 

“You’re so cute,” he admitted quietly.

 

“I just don’t get it,” Youngkyun admitted with a pout. 

 

“There’s no rules,” Taeyang admitted. “I mean, expect common courtesy and respect.”

 

“I figured,” Youngkyun told him with a smile, shaking his head under the water. 

 

“But I don’t know… it feels more real and not like a thing of the moment.”

 

“Then are you asking me to be your boyfriend in the shower? Is that the memory you want?” Youngkyun asked with a smile, only joking of course. He opened his mouth to tell Taeyang he was kidding, but Taeyang spoke first.

 

“You’re right.”

 

“Tae, I was kidding.”

 

“No, this isn’t right. You’re not my boyfriend, yet,” he decided strictly, moving past Youngkyun to turn the water off. “I can’t ask you out like that. It’s so lame.”

 

“Tae, I was really joking,” Youngkyun told him, watching with shock as he shook his head, stepping out of the shower. 

 

“You deserve better than me asking you out in the shower,” Taeyang denied with a shake of his head.

 

“I just said this whole title is for you,” Youngkyun retorted. “I don’t get it. I love you, whether we put a title on it or not. So if you want to be boyfriends, you don’t have to-”

 

Taeyang shook his head, a smug smile creeping up on his face as he pulled a towel over his head, rubbing it into his hair. 

 

“Being boyfriends means I get to call you mine,” Taeyang told him. “Not in the possessive sense, but in the sense that I’m the one who gets to make you happy like this. I’m the one that gets to hold your hand and buy you flowers and share your bed. I can’t ask you to be mine in the shower,” he explained with a snort. “That’s so lame.”

 

Youngkyun really had no words. To him, being in a relationship just meant they were publicly together, so there was a name to put to it. Youngkyun never thought of it like that. Of course, he had thought before about what would be different, but it seemed so much more meaningful then just a label when Taeyang talked about it like that.

 

“Come on,” Taeyang told him, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist. “Inseong is probably making fun of us already for taking so long.”

 

↔

 

Youngkyun sat silently in the back of the limo, extremely aware of his every movement. He had never been in such a fancy car, and that included Taeyang’s sports car. The seats were black but they didn’t have a speck of dirt or ware on them. The windows were dimmed, nearly blacked out in the back, but Youngkyun could still tell how clean they were. Youngkyun didn’t want to shift his feet on the mat, even though his polished shoes were brand new and hardly dirty from the walk between the hotel and the limo. Still, though, he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

 

“Kyun, are you okay?” Taeyang asked, leaning closer to him from where he sat.

 

“This is just a really fancy car,” Youngkyun whispered, causing Taeyang to laugh. “Why are you laughing at me?”

 

“You don’t have to whisper,” Taeyang told him, giving him a kind smile. “The driver doesn’t care. He’s paid to do this every day. Plus, the divider between him and us is practically soundproof.”

 

“It still feels weird,” Youngkyun said, not necessarily in a whisper, but not loudly either.

 

“Okay, well, it’s going to feel a lot weirder when we step out of this car,” Taeyang told him, shifting in his seat so he was facing Youngkyun completely, his leg bent up on the seat. He wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, like it was some sort of luxury ride. But now that Youngkyun had to think about it, it kind of  _ was _ a luxury ride. For him, anyways.

 

“This is hardly a car,” Youngkyun mumbled, turning his attention to Taeyang.

 

“You like finding things out about people, right?” Taeyang asked, to which Youngkyun nodded. “Well, so do the reports that will be waiting for us. They like to look for things they can exploit because they have a job to do, and they don’t want to lose their jobs. Some of them will do anything to get what they want.”

 

“So…”

 

“So don’t look shocked when you step out, okay? Don’t look nervous, or scared, or worried about the reporters, or the flashing cameras, because if you do, they’ll exploit it. We want to look confident, like we have everything handled. Don’t give them something to hurt you with, okay?”

 

“That’s a lot to remember,” Youngkyun breathed out, feeling his chest tighten. “Tae, I’ve never been in front of so many cameras before. I hardly have any pictures of myself.”

 

“What a shame to the world,” Taeyang commented with a relaxing smile, one that help set Youngkyun’s nerves just a little bit at ease. “Because you’re like, really pretty.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, looking out the window for a moment before returning his eyes to Taeyang. “Tae, I don’t think I can step out of this car like you want me to.”

 

“I know it’s hard to get used to,” Taeyang admitted. “The lights are going to hurt your eyes, and you’re going to want to look at every single one of them. But all you need to do is look at me, okay? Look at me, and look ahead of yourself, and nowhere else.”

 

“What if I screw it up, though?” Youngkyun asked, intertwining his fingers in his lap to give him something else to focus on than his thoughts. “What if I-”

 

“Kyun, honestly, if you get nervous, you get nervous,” Taeyang said with a shrug. “It’s just better if you don’t show it, because I don’t want you going through the articles later only to see pictures of how nervous you really looked.”

 

Youngkyun sighed, bringing his lip under his teeth only to hear Taeyang clearing his throat beside him. Youngkyun quickly pulled his lips together. He had lipstick on. Inseong had actually managed to make his lips look decent, only tinting them a bit off the shade they would regularly be, but it helped hide the scars. If he picked at it now, his lips would probably look like a disaster. That was his own fault, though.

 

The limo turned right, causing a knot to burn in Youngkyun’s throat as he watched the FNC building grow closer and closer.

 

“We have everything perfect,” Taeyang told him. “We can do this.” Taeyang reached over, taking Youngkyun’s hand in his. Youngkyun tore his eyes away from the window, facing Taeyang as the boy reached over, smoothing out the creases in his suit.

 

Inseong had really done an amazing job. The busy floral was a good fit for him, and the black only helped complement the whole look. 

 

“You look amazing.”

 

“You look better,” Youngkyun said, his eyes glimpsing down at Taeyang’s slow floral patterned suit.

 

“Remember,” Taeyang started, moving his hands to Youngkyun’s bowtie and fixing it to perfection. “Don’t look out the window when we pull up. Just wait for me to open the door for you.”

 

“I can open my own door, though,” Youngkyun told him, his eyes flickering back to the window behind him. 

 

“But I’m going to open it for you,” Taeyang told him, smiling at him as the car rolled around the bend, pulling up with an elegant stop directly in front of the building. Youngkyun turned his head straight, letting his breath out nervously as Taeyang gave him one last smile. He could see the reporters from the corner of his eyes, and there were so many. Lights went off in every direction, and he could hear their voices calling out questions and remarks. 

 

Taeyang moved toward the limo door, pausing as his hand hovered above the handle.

 

“Thank you, Kyun.”

 

Youngkyun tore his eyes away from the reporters, looking over to Taeyang with a blank look.

 

“For- for what?”

 

Taeyang gave him a smile, eyes gleaming with beauty. “For staying by my side.”

 

Taeyang didn’t let Youngkyun respond, pulling the handle of the door and pushing it open. As the door opened, Youngkyun could hear the voices of the reporters bombard his ears, shouting in every direction for answers. Taeyang smoothed his hands over his suit, closing the door with little care as he begun to make his way around the car.

 

Did they even know Youngkyun was here right now? Could they see him through the windows? What were they saying? What did they all think? Youngkyun really couldn’t get any of his thoughts straight.

 

“Deep breaths,” Youngkyun whispered to himself, watching as Taeyang came to his door, like he was moving in slow motion. The camera flares seemed to go off so slowly, like he could see each and every one of them. “This is for Taeyang,” Youngkyun continued to himself, swallowing whatever fear had built up in his throat as Taeyang reached for the door. “Do this for Taeyang.”

 

Taeyang smiled at him as he held the door open, offering his hand to help him out. Youngkyun put on his best smile, looking at nothing but Taeyang as he placed his hand in his. He could see the camera lights behind Taeyang, and he could hear the reporter’s shouts for attention, but he was only focused on Taeyang.

 

The boy closed the door behind him, dropping his hand as he nodded his head toward the door. Youngkyun gave him another smile, staying directly by his side as they walked toward the doors to the building.

 

“What do you have to say, Taeyang?!”

 

“Where have you been for the past six months?!”

 

“How are the two of you related?!”

 

“Youngkyun! What do you have to say about Kinam?!”

 

Youngkyun could feel his heart beating against his chest as the questions were thrown at him, everything else fading to nothing in the background. He could hear their questions and their accusations, and he could see the front doors ahead of him as he walked, like the short walkway couldn’t get any longer. He just had to remind himself how much this meant to Taeyang. He couldn’t screw this up. He had to keep looking straight, not wincing as the bright lights burned his eyes. He just had to keep looking straight ahead, and then he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.

 

When they finally made it to the doors, Taeyang holding them open for him, Youngkyun felt a sigh of relief leave his body, even though he tried not to let it show, because the walls behind him were still glass. Taeyang put his hand on his back quickly, pulling him to the side with a smile.

 

“You’ll get used to it quickly,” Taeyang tried to reason.

 

“You mean I have to do this again?” Youngkyun asked, letting out a stressed breath of air as he looked around the building in front of him. “Why isn’t there anybody walking around?”

 

“The main employees are at the board meeting, most of which the public knows of. There would be little people around working even if we hadn’t released those pictures,” Taeyang said with a short laugh.

 

“God, we’re really doing this, aren’t we?” Youngkyun asked, looking up to Taeyang.

 

“Hell yeah we are,” he said with a smile, grabbing Youngkyun’s wrist lightly and pulling him over to the auditorium. 

 

Taeyang let his hands fall on the handles of the door when he froze, a smile sticking to the corners of his lips.

 

“Where the hell did these come from?! I thought you said this situation was under control!” 

 

Youngkyun had to stop himself from snickering as he listened, knowing they had caused that anger. 

 

“He was in my office! That’s not under control!” 

 

Several voices erupted from what Youngkyun could only assume was the crowd of people stuffed inside the room, filling the place with a thousand different sounds, all falling over each other at once.

 

“Now?” Taeyang asked, looking to Youngkyun for confirmation.

 

“Now.”

 

Taeyang pushed the doors open smoothly, standing up with perfect posture. The voices continued throughout the room, as if not a single person had noticed the doors open. Taeyang didn’t seem to mind, though, looking back to Youngkyun with a flick of his eyes and taking his first steps into the room. Youngkyun stayed behind him with a calm pace, only because the walkways weren’t big enough for them to walk side by side. 

 

It was easier to walk through this room, knowing who many of the faces were from hours and hours of research. Here, in this room, he had the advantage of knowing what would happen, setting his mind into a state of ease. 

 

As they walked, heads began to turn in their direction, silencing the room row by row, until every set of eyes was on them, and all Youngkyun could hear was the sound of their footsteps walking towards the stage.

 

By the time they had made it to the end of the aisle, it was deadly quiet, like every person had stopped breathing together. The air in the room fell still, and yet Youngkyun felt like he could control it with a flick of his wrist.

 

Taeyang stepped onto the stairs of the stage first, looking back quickly to make sure Youngkyun was still with him before bringing himself onto the stage. Youngkyun followed, letting his eyes wander across the crowd as he ascended the steps.

 

Half of the eyes watched Taeyang, their mouths dropped open in shock. Some of the eyes watched Youngkyun, frozen on his as he glazed over them, never stopping on one person for too long.

 

“Tae- Taeyang-”

 

“I believe this is my seat,” Taeyang said simply, nodding his head with a simple motion towards Cheolmin’s seat at his table, set up so perfectly on the stage. 

 

“You- you’re-”

 

“Did you not hear me?” Taeyang asked, moving his hands to the pockets of his pants. He stood, like he was patiently waiting for Cheolmin to answer his question. He looked like he would wait all day if that’s what it took, while Cheolmin just stood in front of him, a look mixed between anger and shock splashed across his face.

 

“What are you doing here?” the old man finally hissed at him.

 

Taeyang looked around the room for a second, his brows furrowed before he looked back to Cheolmin. “Is this not a board meeting?” he asked, the echo of his voice filling every crack in the room. “A CEO should be at his own meeting, should he not?”

 

“You’re not the CEO,” Cheolmin told him, his eyes falling on Youngkyun. They held eye contact for a moment, Youngkyun becoming very aware of the fact that he stood taller than Cheolmin, having to look down slightly to meet his eyes. “Hongdo, call the police,” Cheolmin ordered, his voice ringing around the room as everyone sat frozen in place.

 

“You’re the one who killed Kinam!” a voice rang out, causing a ripple of voices to start quietly around the room.

 

Youngkyun put a small, barely noticeable smile on his lips, turning around to face the people around the room, hands stuffed casually in his pockets. He couldn’t find the person who said it, but it didn’t really matter, because he could find Aesook, positioned in the room with her phone raised up to record. 

 

“Are you going to call the police, too?” he asked simply, sending a shivering wave of silence around the room as he turned his attention back to Cheolmin. He could see Cheolmin watching him, and Hongdo behind him who hadn’t moved from his seat. 

 

“Or should we call the police on you?” Taeyang asked, taking a strong step forward, the click of his shoe against the stage ringing around the walls. “No… that won’t do,” Taeyang continued on with a click of his tongue, taking another step forward. “Should we call NIS, then? I bet you can’t buy your way out with them.”

 

Youngkyun heard the people around him gasping and whispering, moving away from the center of the stage with fumbling steps all at once. Seokwoo and Juho stood from their seats, bodies tense as they moved away. Cheolmin stood with a smile, though, looking forward like he had trapped them. Hushed whispers floated around the auditorium as chairs fell back on the stage. He didn’t have to move his eyes to see the gun aimed at their heads, and he certainly had no plans of checking it out, either.

 

“Kyun-”

 

“I know,” Youngkyun stated with a short nod, holding his breath as he pulled his lips into a thin line.

 

“I want you to close your eyes,” Taeyang told him quietly, leaning in towards him to whisper it. Youngkyun didn’t nod, didn’t say anything; he just closed his eyes, letting the room fall to darkness.

 

He heard Taeyang’s steps shuffling behind him, grabbing onto Youngkyun’s shoulders lightly and spinning him to his right, away from the crowd of people. His hands left his shoulders quickly, but Youngkyun could hear where he was. The whispers had died out, and their steps had stopped where they stood frozen, and Youngkyun could hear nothing but the sound of Taeyang’s steps. 

 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said with a relaxed voice, presumably to the person holding the gun.

 

“If I do it now, you don’t cause us anymore trouble!” the man pointed out, hushed whispers traveling around the room again. “You’ve been our biggest problem for months, now! I could just get rid of you, and then nobody-”

 

“And the reporters that saw us walk in?” Taeyang asked, cutting him off. His voice ended with a following of silence, like every single person had completely forgotten they had already showed themselves to the world. “What about the livestream, and all the people that just watched you pull a gun on me?” Taeyang asked. All at once, voices rang out around the room, echoing off the walls as their voices all mixed together.

 

“What livestream?!” Cheolmin yelled over the crowd, sending the room back to silence.

 

“Hi, Aesook!” Taeyang said with a happy voice, like there was nothing wrong with their situation. Youngkyun wished he could see the smile on Taeyang’s face when he smiled to her, or the joy on her face as she focused the camera on them. “That’s Aesook,” he introduced. “She’s a new friend of ours. Say ‘hi,’ Aesook!”

 

“Hello,” her voice sounded from the corner of the room, like how Youngkyun imagined it would sound with a soft smile.

 

“Thank you, Kiyoung, for giving me a chance to introduce her properly. I’m sure the people watching will love to know you pulled a gun on us, specifically because you pay off the cops, but don’t worry, I won’t press charges.” 

 

Youngkyun couldn’t help but smile at his words. 

 

“I suggest you don’t kill us, though. That would cause some complications. Especially for you,” Taeyang pointed out. “Don’t you have a family?”

 

“Don’t you talk about-”

 

“Woah! Kiyoung! Put the gun down!” Taeyang told him with a voice that didn’t quite sound distressed. He sounded like he was simply playing with the man. “I called your wife and told her to watch the livestream. Are you sure you want her to see that?”

 

Taeyang never called anyone to watch the livestream, but the silence that followed his lie was more than amusing. And just like that, they had everyone in the room too scared to rash out at them in fear that their families would see. Men in powerful positions really did scare easily.

 

“You’re good, Kyun,” Taeyang told him, to which Youngkyun opened his eyes easily, looking around the room. Taeyang really did have everyone glued to their seats in fear.

 

“What do you want?” Cheolmin asked with a hiss as his eyes flickered between them and Aesook in the corner.

 

“I thought I made it pretty clear,” Taeyang said with a shrug. “I mean, didn’t you see my pictures all over the news?”

 

“What are you trying to do, then?” Cheolmin asked. “This isn’t your company. Haeseong gave it to me-”

 

“My father didn’t give you shit,” Taeyang spoke with a snort, looking around the room in amusement. The room fell into complete silence, all eyes focused on Taeyang. “Oh,” he said, eyes going wide with amusement as a smile crept onto his face. “Did you want proof?”

 

“Mr. Park,” Youngkyun called out, focusing his eyes on the doors they had come through just minutes ago. “Please come out.”

 

The doors opened swiftly, the neatly styled man walking down the aisle with a cocky smile on his lips. He looked confident, folder of files tucked neatly under his arm as he walked up onto the stage. 

 

“Mr. Park, please introduce yourself,” Youngkyun requested, gesturing for him to take the center stage. Taeyang stepped aside, on the other side of Mr. Park.

 

The man bowed to the people in front of him with a smile on his face. “My name in Park Ahn, and I’m a lawyer for the district of Seoul.”

 

“And what do you have with you?” Taeyang asked, his eyes looking down to the folder.

 

Mr. Park smiled, pulling the folder into his hands and pulling out a single paper. “This paper is a copy of the original company transfer documents from Mr. Yoo Haeseong to Mr. Baek Cheolmin.”

 

Taeyang turned around with a smile across his lips to face Cheolmin. “What’s wrong? You look a bit pale,” he said with a wink, turning back around to the rest of the crowd, mainly because that’s where the camera was. 

 

“And what do you have to say about this document, and all the relating documents?” Taeyang asked, giving Youngkyun a quick look.

 

Mr. Park smiled out to the crowd, pausing as a silence filled the room. Youngkyun felt his stomach curl up as he waited, watching the man in front of him glaze over the auditorium.

 

“These documents… are all valid.”

 

The room erupted into yells, fingers pointed in their direction as people cursed them out. Cheolmin smiled beside them, hands on his hips with a proud smile. But Youngkyun wasn’t phased. He hadn’t even blinked at Mr. Park’s statement.

 

The problem with getting a lawyer had been the uncertainty of it all. Neither him nor Taeyang had connections to lawyers, which meant they had to contact someone unknown and hope they wouldn’t rat them out. The worst part was that they  _ needed _ a lawyer to represent them on this case, as well as speak out on behalf of the documents. They couldn’t get around that step.

 

So, instead of contacting a lawyer from some far out district with a name nobody had ever heard of before, they had made the decision to call Mr. Park, a well known lawyer from the area of Seoul who had publicly worked on cases with FNC before. 

 

They had figured, no matter what they did, or who they called, there was always the risk that the lawyer would have connections with FNC, and they didn’t want to take the risk of blind trust. So, instead, they had written a contract for Mr. Park, stating that he could not collude with FNC until they had stated otherwise. Well, they had planned that lousy contract on purpose. There were loopholes in it, several in fact, because they knew Mr. Park would sell them out. In fact, they counted on it.

 

“Mr. Jung!” Youngkyun called out through the voices, looking to his side as the shaking man behind the computers looked up ever so slowly. “Mr. Jung,” Youngkyun said again, putting a nice smile on his face as the voices around him faded away. “Would you play that video for me?”

 

The man beside the stage froze in his spot, like he couldn’t believe he was being called out in front of the crowd. The room went silent as all eyes turned to the man who shook in his seat. 

 

“Mr. Jung?” Youngkyun asked again. “The video?”

 

“Ye- yes sir, sir,” he stuttered, grabbing the flashdrive from the corner of his desk and jamming it into the computer system, easily pulling the video up onto the big screen within seconds. 

 

The image in the video was of the room Youngkyun and Taeyang had sat in not long ago, behind the table and across from where Mr. Park sat, neatly dolled up with his suit and neat hair. Of course, Youngkyun and Taeyang had trimmed the video down, but they would have been more than willing to release the whole thing.

 

_ “The signature of Mr. Yoo Haeseong appears to be forged,” Mr. Park stated from across the table as he slide the papers back across the table. _

 

_ Taeyang took the document from him, placing it in his folder as he looked back up to Mr. Park. “And you will testify to this?” _

 

_ “Yes, sir.” _

 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Park,” Taeyang began, looking around the silent room, bringing his eyes to meet Mr. Park’s. “But did you just lie? I’m sure, as a lawyer, you aren’t supposed to lie, right? What will the people think now that they’ve seen Korea’s best lawyer lie to cover for a company which condones drugs, forgery, and murder?”

 

“Mr. Yoo,” Mr. Park begged with wide eyes, “Your contract never stated-”

 

“You’re right,” Taeyang said with a nod, cutting him off. “Our contract never stated you couldn’t lie. But how many clients have you worked with who never gave you a contract like we did? How many clients have you ruined the lives of in favor of FNC? And, as a lawyer, is it not general knowledge that you shouldn’t lie? Especially when you have the evidence that says otherwise?”

 

“Mr. Yoo-”

 

“We don’t need to hear any more from you,” Taeyang said with a shake of his head, looking out to the silent crowd. “I don’t care if you have more power, more connections, or more money than us,” Taeyang spoke. “You’re not prepared, and that’s the problem. You all know what you’re doing is wrong, but you sit here thinking you can get away with it all because you have a few powerful lawyers on your side and connections with the police. But none of that means shit when the integrity of your operations is broken. And do you know why people will so easily leave your side?” Taeyang asked, turning to Cheolmin with an innocent tilt of his head.

 

Cheolmin froze in his spot, like he was trying to think of anything to say in response but he couldn’t.

 

“Because you don’t care about people. You only care about yourself,” Seokwoo stated, moving forward with a hard glare in Cheolmin’s direction.

 

The old man spun around, looking to Seokwoo with a look of shock in his eyes as Taeyang sent him a subtle wink.

 

“So why should people care about you, when you can’t even protect them?” Seokwoo continued, taking a step forward. “It’s not worth it.”

 

Taeyang smiled, turning to the camera directly, but making sure he held the attention of everyone in the room.

 

“I am the true heir to FNC!”

 

“Haeseong would have chosen to pass it down to Cheolmin anyways!” a man from the crowd called, standing up with a hard glare. 

 

“That’s cute,” Taeyang commented. “But he didn’t.” 

 

Youngkyun looked over to Mr. Jung, giving him a small nod to which the man played the next part of the video.

 

_ “This is my father’s will,” Taeyang spoke, sliding the document forward. “The original copy. Nobody notarized it, but you’ll see his signature at the bottom. I am aware a will does not have to be notarized to be valid?” _

 

_ “That is correct,” Mr. Park replied, taking the will in his hands and looking over it. _

 

_ “So does this mean the will is still in tact?” _

 

_ “Yes, sir,” Mr. Park told him, his eyes scanning over the document. “Congratulations, Mr. Yoo, you are the official heir of FNC as proclaimed by Yoo Haeseong.” _

 

Mr. Park winced beside him, closing his eyes as he listened to his own voice in the video.

 

“Haeseong didn’t have a will!” Jintaek called out with an accusing tone.

 

“That’s because you couldn’t find it when you broke into my house,” Taeyang stated. “Because I already took it. So, Aesook! The people heard that right? I really hate people breaking illegally into my house to steal documents. How shameful.”

 

Taeyang turned to the people again, putting a gentle smile on his face. “I am the heir to FNC, not Cheolmin. You can cry about it all you want, but Cheolmin never had any claim to this company.”

 

“I kept this company together!” Cheolmin yelled at him, his voice ripping into the air as he did. “This company would have been nothing without me!” 

 

“You’re right,” Taeyang admitted with a nod, sending a look of shock across Cheolmin’s face. “But better nothing than the reason thousands suffer every day.” He turned back to the crowd. “I will be signing the transfer documents as soon as possible,” he stated with a smile. “Investigations will start right away against every employee in this building. Primary investigations will be against Baek Cheolmin, Choi Jintaek, Lee Jaejin, Hwang Kinam, Jung Kiyoung, Kim Jungoh, and Kim Jaejoong,” he stated, sending a small wink back to Youngkyun. “Kim Seokwoo will be investigated, but cleared of all charges as he was an accomplice to us. Baek Juho will also be investigated and cleared of all charges.”

 

“Ju- Juho?” Cheolmin asked, spinning around to find his son standing in the corner, shyly looking to the ground as he bit his lip.

 

“Oh, you didn’t know your own son despises what you’ve done?” Taeyang asked, tilting his head. “Who do you think gave us those documents?” 

 

“Seokwoo killed a person to fake your death!” someone across the room shouted.

 

“Under orders of Baek Cheolmin,” Taeyang retorted immediately. “Like I said, he will be cleared. Drug mule Lee Jaeyoon will also be cleared of charges.” Taeyang took a few steps forward, lifting his hand to his cheek to scratch at his skin before lifting his eyes back to the people. “I will have the police and NIS investigate every person and action of this company. Production will be cut off, and as will the supply of drugs making its way through the streets of Korea. This company is done. By the time the investigations are over, this place will be nothing but an empty lot for real estate. I’m destroying it all. And in its place, we will put something new.”

 

Youngkyun furrowed his eyebrows, looking up to Taeyang with slight confusion. He never mentioned putting something new in the place of FNC. He told Inseong he had ideas, but that was only weeks ago. He couldn’t possibly have a solid idea already, could he?

 

“With the assets of FNC and leftover funds from my father, I will be starting a new crime investigation unit. This unit will focus on the corruption within Korea, and every person accused will be thoroughly investigated. This investigation unit will not be run off of bribes and benefits from investors. I want Korea to have an investigation unit they can trust.” Taeyang turned around to look at Youngkyun with a smile, giving him a small jump in his chest. “The unit will be run by Kim Youngkyun.”

 

_ “If you could be anything you wanted in the future, do you think you’d want to be something like an investigator?” _

 

Taeyang had asked him that back in Suwon. Taeyang hadn’t thought of this idea in the past few weeks. He had this idea before the idea of a plan had even come to his mind.

 

Youngkyun felt his heart beating against his chest as he looked up to a smiling Taeyang with wide eyes. He felt like he hadn’t heard the boy right. 

 

“M- me?” Youngkyun asked, still barely able to comprehend anything that the boy had said. 

 

Taeyang giggled, eyes focused on him. “Yes, you. Do you want to?”

 

Youngkyun couldn’t think of anything else. Every thought in his mind was clouded by the day Taeyang had asked him that question. Had Taeyang done this for him? Taeyang was giving Youngkyun a chance to do what he loved. Taeyang wanted to do this with him.

 

“Yes,” Youngkyun said with a smile, his lips turning up and exposing his teeth. 

 

“Well then,” Taeyang said with a smile, turning to the people and the camera. “Everyone, meet your new head of investigation! Kim Youngkyun.”


	42. Worth Saving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn't exactly a small chapter for an in between post but it just felt right to post it now, being so close to the end and all. Enjoy!

 

Youngkyun took a deep breath, running his hands over the front of his suit and shaking them out by his sides, getting rid of the nerves. He ran his hands over his hair, making sure not a single strand stuck out of place.

 

“Kyun, you’re going to be fine,” Taeyang encouraged him, taking his hand and pulling him to face him. 

 

Youngkyun sighed, nodding as he looked to the ground where he stood in his newly polished shoes. 

 

“Visiting him like this feels so weird. I mean, I’m so dressed up-”

 

“You look great,” Taeyang told him with a smile, reaching for the collar of his jacket and straightening it out. “You look beautiful. You look like you’ve been happy for months.”

 

“I’ve been  _ happier _ ,” Youngkyun corrected. “But that’s because of you.”

 

“And do you know what?” Taeyang asked, giving him a small smile as he leaned forward, pecking him on the lips. “You make me happier, too.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a soft giggle, smoothing his hands over his jacket again. 

 

“What should I even say? I’ve had days to think about it, but I couldn’t think of a single thing,” he admitted with a nervous laugh.

 

“Just say whatever is on your mind,” Taeyang suggested, patting him on the shoulder. “Say what you want to say. Speak your mind.”

 

“That’s so hard, though.”

 

Taeyang gave him a short smile. “There will be a wall of glass between you. Say what you want.”

 

Taeyang wrapped his arms around Youngkyun, pulling him into a warm hug that Youngkyun wanted to hold onto forever. He never wanted to leave the hug, resting his chin on Taeyang’s shoulder and enjoying the feeling of his arms around him.

 

“You got this,” Taeyang whispered, giving him a small smile as he took a step back, making his way backwards towards his car as he waited for Youngkyun to go in.

 

“I got this,” Youngkyun whispered to himself, moving his feet slowly to the entrance.

 

He walked through the doors carefully, emptying his belongings into the designated bins and proceeding towards the small room. He opened the door, shutting it softly behind him as he sat in the chair. There were walls around him, barely giving him any room to move, and he felt awkward sitting alone, facing nothing but a blank wall of glass.

 

A buzzer rang from the other side of the glass, allowing a small door to open as a man stepped inside, sitting slowly across from Youngkyun, behind the glass.

 

He looked awful. His stubble had grown out to cover his face, and dark circles hung under his eyes. He looked terrible.

 

Youngkyun wanted to tell him that, but instead he just looked down to his lap, holding his lips together.

 

“You look good,” the man commented quietly, and Youngkyun couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge it. 

 

“How’s prison?” he asked, clasping his hands together in his lap, not daring to look up.

 

“Do you care?” Jaejoong asked with a voice that sounded like sandpaper rubbing together. 

 

Youngkyun gave him a small nod, keeping his eyes focused on his lap. “I want you to say it’s terrible,” he admitted. “I want you to say the food is awful, and you can’t sleep at night.”

 

“It’s not that bad,” Jaejoong told him.

 

“Of course not,” Youngkyun replied with a short exhale, looking up to his side, still avoiding Jaejoong’s eyes.

 

“Why did you come visit?” Jaejoong asked. “I didn’t want you to visit.”

 

“Then should I visit more often?” Youngkyun asked immediately, blinking away any wetness forming in his eyes. “Should I come every day just to make you hate this place that much more?”

 

“Don’t ruin your life like that.”

 

“Why do you still pretend to be the good guy?” Youngkyun asked, finally forcing his eyes to meet Jaejoong’s. “Why do you pretend to care about my life?”

 

Jaejoong was silent for a few moments, letting his eyes fall over every detail of Youngkyun’s appearance. “How have you been?”

 

“Fantastic,” Youngkyun told him without missing a beat, holding eye contact with the man in front of him. “Taeyang and I are happy together. Everything is going great. More and more people are getting arrested every day, and you’re sitting here. I couldn’t be happier.”

 

“You don’t look happy,” Jaejoong commented.

 

“Because I’m here,” Youngkyun told him simply. 

 

“Then leave.”

 

“I have things to say,” Youngkyun told him, leaving a small moment of silence between them.

 

“Well? Say them already,” Jaejoong told him.

 

Youngkyun swallowed, pulling his lips together.

 

“Thank you for giving us those documents,” he said quickly, bringing his eyes down to his lap again.

 

“I thought you came here to curse me out,” Jaejoong admitted.

 

“I did,” Youngkyun said with a nod. “But I thought I should at least thank you for those. Because of those documents, I was able to be admitted to a hospital secretly. I survived because of those documents, so I should say thank you.”

 

“Well-”

 

“I don’t have anything else to thank you for, though,” Youngkyun told him suddenly. 

 

Jaejoong bit on his lip. “You’re good at what you’re good at because of me.”

 

“And yet I have a feeling I would have been just fine without you,” Youngkyun countered.

 

“And you think you would have been better with your drugged up father?”

 

“And why was he always on drugs?” Youngkyun asked, trying his very best not to bite down on his lip. “Who gave him the drugs?”

 

“Youngkyun-”

 

“I blame you,” Youngkyun blurted out, plunging the air around them into silence. “I blame you for my father’s death. You gave him the drugs, and you knew it was too much.”

 

“He would have overdosed eventually anyways.”

 

“Maybe. Or maybe, instead of being a shitty brother, you could have tried to get him help,” Youngkyun told him with bared teeth. “You gave him the drugs, but you could have told him not to take them. You could have done anything to help him.”

 

“There was no helping him,” Jaejoong denied.

 

“You wouldn’t know,” Youngkyun retorted. “Because you’re a shitty person. You’ve always been a shitty person.”

 

“Did you come here to tell me you resent me?” Jaejoong asked, causing him to look up and meet his eyes. “Because I already know it.”

 

“I came here to cut things off,” Youngkyun told him, “But not before you listen to me.”

 

“Youngkyun-”

 

“You’ve  _ never _ listened to me. You just slapped me and pulled my hair until I listened to you. So you’re going to listen to me now,” Youngkyun told him, licking his lips as he spoke. Jaejoong didn’t respond. He just sat there, waiting for Youngkyun to continue. “When I was little, I met Hyuntae. I used to deal to him for you.”

 

“I remember him,” Jaejoong told him. “He was the first person I had you deal to.”

 

“You say you taught me everything I know, but you’re wrong,” Youngkyun spoke, taking a deep breath. “You taught me how to read criminals, and trick clients. You taught me how to know more than the other person in a drug deal, but you never taught me how to deal with normal people. Hyuntae taught me how to steal food without you noticing. Hyuntae taught me how to sneak out of the house from the upstairs window. He taught me how to listen in on your conversations without being seen or heard. You say you taught me everything, but you didn’t. You taught me the basics, but Hyuntae showed me how to really use those tricks you showed me. You didn’t teach me to lie. You didn’t teach me how to make up stories off the top of my head. You didn’t teach me how to approach people for information. You taught me how to hear from the shadows, and how to pretend to be someone else. It’s taken me a few years to realize it, but most of what I learned, I learned from him… not you.”

 

Jaejoong’s face went blank at his confession, as his eyes drifted off to look at nothing but the emptiness in front of him.

 

“My life is fucked up because of you,” Youngkyun admitted. “I spent years with insomnia, and even now, Taeyang wakes up to find me already awake because I can’t fall asleep. I could never sleep because of you, because I was scared you’d hurt me when I closed my eyes. I had nightmares because of you, even if they don’t happen as often anymore.”

 

“Stop blaming me for your problems,” Jaejoong told him.

 

“Why?” Youngkyun asked, lifting his chin. “You blamed me for yours. I was the reason you couldn’t bring people to the house. I was the reason you were stressed all the time. I was the reason you couldn’t smoke whatever you smoked as much. I was the reason your business wasn’t doing as well. It was always my fault wasn’t it? So, if you can blame me for your problems, why can’t I blame you for mine? Especially when they’re your fault.”

 

“You turned out this way because you’re weak!” Jaejoong told him, finally breaking. Youngkyun didn’t think he’d ever see Jaejoong truly break, but he could see it now, behind this glass, not being able to do anything. Youngkyun was above him right now, and he simply couldn’t handle it. He felt weak, and that’s what broke him.

 

“You’re right,” Youngkyun said with a nod, pushing the chair back as he stood to his feet. “I’m weak. But that’s okay, because I’m stronger than you. I don’t need a mask to hide myself with, and that’s true weakness.”

 

Youngkyun watched as Jaejoong’s lips pulled back across the glass, his eyes filling with tears.

 

“You’re the weak one.”

 

“Youngkyun-”

 

“Repeat it.”

 

Jaejoong looked up to Youngkyun with wide eyes, but all Youngkyun could see was his abuser, sitting below him with tears in his eyes. 

 

“You’re the weak one. Repeat it,” Youngkyun demanded.

 

“Youngkyun-”

 

“I said, repeat it.”

 

Jaejoong swallowed, looking off to the side. “I’m the weak one.”

 

“Yes, you are,” Youngkyun told him, not sparing him another glance as he opened the door behind him, walking out of the building with a sense of relief radiating from his shoulders.

 

↔

 

Youngkyun walked out of the building with a light heart, still not able to believe he had actually said that to Jaejoong. He raced out to meet Taeyang, to tell him what he had done, but when he got outside, Taeyang’s car was gone.

 

Youngkyun narrowed his eyes at the sidewalk where it had been parked, reaching into his back pocket quickly for his phone.

 

“I’m right here.”

 

Youngkyun moved his eyes from his phone to his side at the sound of the man’s voice, only to feel his hand dropping to his side at the sight in front of him.

 

“I don’t know what you said in there, but I’m proud of you,” Taeyang spoke, his teeth sticking out in a smile as he held the bouquet of pink flowers in front of him. 

 

Youngkyun smiled back at him, walking over as he stuck his phone back in his pocket. 

 

“Did you tell him how awesome you are?”

 

Youngkyun giggled as Taeyang held the flowers out to him. He took them gently in his hands, smiling down at the flowers that puffed out in every direction.

 

“I actually left him back there in tears,” Youngkyun told him, looking up to him with bright eyes.

 

“Good. He deserves it,” Taeyang told him, wrapping his arm around Youngkyun’s waist and pulling him to walk with him. 

 

“Where’s the car?” Youngkyun asked, looking over to Taeyang with confusion.

 

“Somewhere,” Taeyang told him mysteriously with a smile. 

 

Youngkyun didn’t ask any more questions, just letting Taeyang guide him as they walked down the streets. The sun was slowly setting around them, leaving the sky looking like a watercolor painting, mixed with pinks and oranges. The clouds glowed above them, drenching the whole world in a soft glow of color. 

 

Taeyang's skin glowed with the faint sunshine, his eyes sparkling in the light as they walked.

 

“You’re so pretty,” Youngkyun told him, feeling like his breath was completely lost to the boy. He couldn’t seem to drag his eyes away from Taeyang, completely immersed in his beauty. He really loved him, and he couldn’t think of any other way to put it. 

 

Taeyang turned his head as he stopped walking, his hand still on Youngkyun’s hip as he smiled.

 

“Youngkyun, I love you so much.” 

 

Youngkyun smiled, feeling his heart beat at just the sight of him. 

 

“Kyun, I really… I don’t think I’d be here without you.”

 

“Tae-

 

“I mean it,” Taeyang told him, moving his hands to hold Youngkyun’s over the flowers. “You were the first person to help me. For a long time, you were the  _ only _ person to help me. To be honest, without you, I don’t think anyone but Inseong would have been on my side.”

 

“Seokwoo would have helped you,” Youngkyun told him.

 

“Seokwoo helped me because of you,” Taeyang reminded him. “You met him again. He helped me because he was with you. I never would have gone to see him again.”

 

Youngkyun licked his lips as he looked down to the flowers. He didn’t want Taeyang to feel like nobody was on his side.

 

“I got this far because of you,” Taeyang told him quietly. “I might have never even made it to Suwon without you. I would have had nothing to work with, no evidence, no plan, and no friends. I would have been dead, Kyun.”

 

“No you wouldn’t have,” Youngkyun denied, meeting his eyes.

 

“Kyun, you… back then. You saved me,” Taeyang said, obviously avoiding mentioning the specific event. “I could have died. You’ve saved me so many times without even realizing it.”

 

“You’re worth saving,” Youngkyun told him, looking into his eyes which sparkled in the light. He could feel himself being dragged into Taeyang’s gaze, like he was the only person in the world who mattered.

 

“Youngkyun, I want to buy a house together,” he told him, taking a small step closer. “I don’t want to just stay in hotels anymore, which I know we said we would stop. But I mean it this time. I want to get a house together. We could go back to school while sorting everything out with FNC. We could cook together, watch silly movies together, and be comfortable.”

 

“Then let’s get a house together,” Youngkyun agreed with a nod, not being able to look away from Taeyang’s eyes. 

 

“I want you to be happy.”

 

“I am happy,” Youngkyun promised, giving him a small smile. 

 

“Kyun… I love you.”

 

Youngkyun gigled, breaking the eye contact as he looked up to the sky and back down to him. 

 

“I love you too, but where is this coming from?”

 

“I want you to be my boyfriend. For real this time,” Taeyang told him, adjusting his hold on Youngkyun’s hands. “Living life is better when I’m living it with you, and I want to keep living it with you. But only if you want to, too.”

 

“I want to,” Youngkyun told him with a nod and a gentle smile. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, too, actually,” he admitted. “How nice it would be to cook together, and sleep together, and go to work together. It would be nice to just live like that every day.”

 

Taeyang gave him a smile, moving the flowers aside so he could move closer, pressing his lips to Youngkyun’s. The kiss wasn’t rushed, or heavy, but it was sweet and slow, like Taeyang was showing all of his feelings through it. 

 

He backed away slowly, looking to Youngkyun with the most gentle smile Youngkyun had ever seen.

 

“So, Kim Youngkyun, will you be my boyfriend?”

 

Youngkyun smiled, wrapping his arms around Taeyang’s waist.

 

“Of course.”


	43. Happy Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The finally will be two chapters updated at the same time <3 So make sure to read both!

“I thought you were going to ditch me again,” Inseong said with a smile, leaning back in his chair.

 

Youngkyun smiled, sliding into the chair across from him. “You know I’d never do that to you.”

 

“You did it just last week!” Inseong pointed out, gaping at him as he picked up his drink and brought the straw to his lips. “Unbelievable.”

 

“I had work!” Youngkyun defended with a laugh, reaching over and taking Inseong’s drink from his hands and bringing it to his lips. “This is actually disgusting,” he decided with a scrunched nose, passing it back to Inseong.

 

“Then why did you drink it?” Inseong asked with a short laugh, taking it back with a playful glare. “Get a water or whatever else you drink.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, walking up to the counter and ordering himself a drink and two sandwiches, one of which he passed to Inseong who had a giddy smile on his face. 

 

“Love you.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Eat up. You have a big appointment today,” Youngkyun reminded him as he sat back in his seat, scooting towards the table.

 

“Aw, is that why you made room for me in your busy schedule?” Inseong teased, picking up his sandwich and biting into it. “I swear, it’s a miracle you love that boy. He works you so hard.”

 

“When’s the last time you met with Taeyang?” Youngkyun asked with furrowed brows and a smile. “He tells me to work less all the time, I just don’t listen.”

 

“Yesterday, actually, I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t lying,” Inseong admitted with a laugh, biting into his sandwich again.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes, picking his up and copying Inseong. “No Jaeyoon today?” he asked.

 

“Nah, he has a company meeting today or whatever,” Inseong said with a small wave. 

 

“Is he being sent on those now?” Youngkyun asked, dabbing at his lips with his napkin as he looked up to Inseong with wide eyes.

 

“Yeah,” Inseong told him with a proud smile. “Apparently he’s such a good salesperson, they’re sending him on meetings to represent the company’s interests.”

 

“I’m proud of him,” Youngkyun told him. “And the company really doesn’t mind his past?”

 

“He helped turn everyone in,” Inseong reminded him with a shrug. “They think he’s a good asset.”

 

“What about you? How’s work going for you?”

 

Inseong put his sandwich down with wide eyes and a smile that looked like he was about to burst with information. 

 

“I can’t believe how good business is. Youngbin is doing advertising wonders for me,” Inseong told him. “That job I’m doing today? A wedding. I’m styling for an entire wedding! Can you believe that?!” 

 

Youngkyun laughed. “Inseong, seriously, the fact that you’re still shocked about this is incredible. You own one of the most credited hair and suit salons in Seoul.”

 

“I’m adding nails in a few months,” Inseong told him with a smile. “I’m not really supposed to say that, but what the heck. It’s going to be hair, suits, nails, and makeup. The full set!”

 

“I’ll bring Taeyang over again soon,” Youngkyun commented with a smile. “You can do our nails.”

 

“I love when you guys come,” Inseong told him with a smile, picking up his sandwich again.

 

“You love when we come because we overpay you!” Youngkyun accused, causing Inseong to laugh into his sandwich. 

 

“But your company is also appreciated,” Inseong told him with a laugh. “Oh, yeah! Do you know what today is the anniversary of?” Inseong asked, reaching down beside his chair and pulling up a small bag, decorated with colored tissue paper and a small ribbon.

 

“No? Am I supposed to?” Youngkyun asked, taking the bag from Inseong as he handed it across the table. “Why are you giving me this? It’s not like it’s my birthday.”

 

“You never tell us when it is anyways,” Inseong grumbled. “And the only reason Taeyang knows is because he checked your birth certificate!” 

 

“Find my birth certificate and you can know my birthday,” Youngkyun challenged. “But really, what is this for?”

 

“Are you serious?” Inseong gaped. “Come on, man. It’s the four year anniversary of when you and Tae got FNC back and fucked up the whole system.”

 

Youngkyun opened his mouth with wide eyes, looking from Inseong to the gift.

 

“Is that really today?” he asked, gaping at the boy.

 

“You’re absolutely hopeless,” Inseong commented, gesturing his chin towards the bag as he crossed his arms. “But still, that’s for you.”

 

Youngkyun gave Inseong a smile, reaching into the bag and pulling out a small pack of lip tints.

 

“They’re nourishing too. Because I know you bite your lips,” Inseong told him, smiling at the end.

 

Youngkyun gave Inseong a gentle smile, placing the lip tints back in the bag and lowering it to the ground by his chair. “Thank you, Inseong. But I haven’t done that in months.”

 

“You do it unconsciously when a case isn’t working out for you,” Inseong pointed out.

 

“I do not.”

 

“You do, and everyone knows it.”

 

Youngkyun scoffed at him, picking up his sandwich and taking another bite. “Has it really been four years, though? I feel like our investigation unit just started.”

 

“Well between tearing FNC down and building up the funds for that, and putting everything together, it practically has. You only really started working there about a year and a half ago,” Inseong reminded him. 

 

“It really doesn’t feel like it’s been that long though.”

 

“Live it up, Kyun, because you’re getting old.”

 

“You’re older than me,” Youngkyun reminded him, sipping at his drink.

 

“At least I passed high school at the age I was supposed to,” Inseong teased.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes with a laugh. “My bad, I was too busy being condemned as a murderer.”

 

Inseong laughed, giving Youngkyun a small giggle as they finished their sandwiches. Over the years, Youngkyun had learned to accept things as they were. He was getting better with a lot of things, and what happened with Kinam was definitely one of them. He still had a dream about it every now and then, but he could talk about it without breaking down. In fact, Youngkyun walked by people he worked with every day who carried guns around for the purpose of the investigation unit. It was a rule to only use them for emergencies, but they carried anyways. Youngkyun didn’t carry, but the fact that his coworkers did had stopped bothering him months ago. He really felt like he was getting better with it all. He even stopped biting his lips as much, or so he thought.

 

“Shit, I have to go,” Inseong blurted out, looking wide eyes to his watch and stumbling out of his chair.

 

“Don’t fuck up the wedding,” Youngkyun told him with a smile, picking up the gift bag by the handles and moving over to give Inseong a hug.

 

“Love you Youngkyun!”

 

“Love you, too!” Youngkyun called as Inseong raced out, obviously late. He did it often enough, though, so Youngkyun knew he would be fine.

 

Youngkyun paid the bill quickly, moving out to his car and placing the gift gently in the back seat. It was still incredible to think he had his very own car, especially one as fancy as a Mercedes.

 

Youngkyun started up the car, pulling away from the curb easily and starting down the road. He really didn’t want to be late. 

 

As he pulled up to a stop sign, the screen on his car alerted him to a phone call. He quickly hooked the small ear piece over his ear, accepting the call.

 

“What the fuck did you do this time?”

 

Youngkyun snorted, pressing on the gas as the light turned green.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he reported with a laugh. 

 

“You’re not supposed to announce my birthday on my own news channel!”

 

Youngkyun couldn’t help himself, laughing into the mic as he drove. “I’m sorry, Binnie, but everyone agreed to it.”

 

“Who did it, huh? Who hacked my lineup?”

 

Youngkyun was not going to tell him, under any circumstances, that it had been Aesook. In all honesty, he just didn’t want Youngbin to have any reason to be upset with her. He knew she liked him, not because she had told him, but just because that’s what he did. He knew Youngbin also had a bit of appreciation for her, so he was absolutely not taking the chance of fucking that up. He would just thank Aesook again later.

 

“No idea.”

 

“You set it up! How could you not know! Spill it, Kyun!”

 

“We all love you~” Youngkyun sang into the mic, smiling as he heard a grunt from the other end of the call. 

 

“You are unbelievable. I should have never stopped you in the store back then. I regret it.”

 

“You absolutely do not,” Youngkyun told him with a smile. “Anyways, happy birthday. I’m sorry it took you two weeks to realize it was me who set it up. You’re getting slow.”

 

“Well nobody would admit to it!” Youngbin told him with a small laugh, causing Youngkyun to smile.

 

“Wait, who ratted me out?” 

 

“Not telling.”

 

“Oh, so someone  _ did _ rat me out? Who was it, huh? Who was it?” 

 

Youngbin laughed, like he was winning by having something over Youngkyun. Too bad Youngkyun already knew who sold him out. The man had called him after apologizing, but Youngkyun had just laughed. He was amused the employees kept it a secret for this long.

 

“Fine, have it your way. But you’ll never know who hacked into the station.”

 

“Was it Aesook?”

 

“Nope,” Youngkyun told him with a smile.

 

“It totally was.”

 

“It was not,” Youngkyun denied.

 

“I know it was her.”

 

“You don’t. Because it’s not her,” he continued to lie, shaking his head even if Youngbin couldn’t see him. 

 

“I’m not mad.”

 

“You totally are, and it’s not her.”

 

“Kyun, cut the bullshit. I can tell you’re lying.”

 

“I’m not,” he lied, turning the wheel gently as he turned onto another street. 

 

“I’m going to tell Aesook you told me,” Youngbin threatened.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare. If she ever got mad at me I think I’d cry. She’s like the sweetest person in the world,” Youngkyun told him, sending Youngbin into a fit of hysterics. “I have to go. I’m meeting someone. But listen, Binnie, if you tell Aesook you know because of me, I’m telling her you have wet dreams about her.”

 

“That- That’s not true!” Youngbin called into the phone.

 

“A lie for a lie,” Youngbin said with a smile, ending the call and stepping out of the car. He closed the door behind him, smiling to himself as he stepped onto the sidewalk, leaning against the edge of the building.

 

He waited, scrolling through the news feed on his phone to entertain himself. He read a few articles here and there. There were only a few interesting ones though.

 

“Kyun! I’m here!” the boy finally called out as he approached Youngkyun from down the street.

 

“Did you know Taeyang is getting married? I didn’t,” Youngkyun said with a smile, pocketting his phone. “News today is so bad.”

 

“You never know,” the boy said with a shrug, reaching up and giving Youngkyun a big hug. “Maybe he went shopping for rings?”

 

“He isn’t going shopping for rings,” Youngkyun told him. “ _ You’re _ going shopping for rings.”

 

Jaeyoon looked nervously at Youngkyun, shifting his eyes between him and the ring shop beside them. 

 

“Hey! You have to do it today!” Youngkyun told him. “Inseong really believes you’re on a business trip.”

 

“You met Inseong?” Jaeyoon asked with a look of betrayal on his face. 

 

“For lunch,” Youngkyun told him, tilting his head in a smile. “Don’t worry. He definitely hasn’t caught on.”

 

“Okay, but I was thinking….”

 

“No! No thinking! Thinking is bad!” Youngkyun told him, grabbing his arm and pulling him into the store. “You’re not backing out. You’ve been talking about rings for months now. You set the date, and I’m not letting you back out of it.”

 

“Okay, but hear me out,” Jaeyoon pleaded as they entered the fancy looking store. “You and Taeyang have been together longer, but you aren’t thinking of rings.”

 

“You and Inseong were together before us,” Youngkyun pointed out.

 

“My point stands.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “We’ll look into rings when we’re ready. Believe it or not, we’re still cleaning up FNC’s mess.”

 

“Fine, fine, so you have an excuse,” Jaeyoon caved with a roll of his eyes. “But what about Chanhee and Seokwoo? They’ve been together months longer than either of us, and they aren’t even thinking of marriage!” 

 

“That’s because Chanhee is graduating college this year,” Youngkyun told him. “Seokwoo’s gonna ask him after his graduation- but don’t you dare tell anyone!” 

 

Jaeyoon covered his open mouth with his hands. “Are you serious?!”

 

“Yes, I’m serious,” Youngkyun told him in a hushed voice, pulling him over to the section with the rings. “So stop worrying about how long you’ve been together. If you love him, you love him.”

 

“What if he doesn’t want to marry me, though?!” Jaeyoon asked, looking to Youngkyun with wide eyes.

 

“Jaeyoon? Are you kidding me?”

 

“No, I’m serious. I feel like I need an emotional support boy for this. Do you wanna be my emotional support boy?”

 

“Jaeyoon, you do not need an emotional support boy to propose to your boyfriend,” Youngkyun told him with a laugh and a shake of his head. “You just need to be confident. You two love each other, and you already live together. Just propose!”

 

“Okay but what if-”

 

“Jaeyoon. Come on. You two have talked about adopting for months. If you want to adopt, you should be married,” Youngkyun pointed out.

 

“I  _ do _ want to adopt!” Jaeyoon defended. “I’m just worried! Like, what if we’re going to fast? You just said you and Taeyang would get married when you’re ready, but how do you  _ know? _ Like how do you know if you’re ready or not? How do you know if Taeyang is ready?”

 

“Because unlike you and Inseong, Taeyang and I actually talked about it,” Youngkyun admitted with a laugh, patting him on the back. 

 

“How do you just bring up something like marriage in a regular conversation? I swear, you and Taeyang are, like, the most communicative couple I’ve ever seen.”

 

Youngkyun shrugged, guiding Jaeyoon to the case of rings. 

 

“Hello, how can I help you?”

 

Youngkyun looked to Jaeyoon for him to respond, but he seemed frozen in his spot looking at the rings. He rolled his eyes. “My friend is here to get marital rings,” Youngkyun spoke for him.

 

“Do you have her ring size?” the lady asked, looking to Jaeyoon.

 

“Uh- uhm, it’s- he’s, well, he’s actually- uhm, my person, uh- boyfriend, he’s a- uh, he’s my boyfriend. Not- not girlfriend,” Jaeyoon stuttered out.

 

“Smooth,” Youngkyun commented, only to have his shoe stepped on.

 

“Oh,” the lady said with a smile. “My apologies. Do you have his ring size?”

 

“Uh, yeah,” Jaeyoon told her, pulling one of Inseong’s rings out of his pocket for her to measure. “This- this is his ring.”

 

“Jaeyoon, seriously. Stop being so nervous,” Youngkyun told him with a laugh. “Inseong will be so happy.”

 

“God I hope so,” Jaeyoon replied with a nod. “Okay, but what if-”

 

↔

 

“You look like you just got run over by a truck,” Chanhee commented as Youngkyun closed the door to his car. 

 

“Does my suit really look that bad?” Youngkyun asked, looking down to his suit.

 

“No, no, no, like, mentally,” Chanhee clarified, ushering him over as they moved into the cafe. 

 

“Oh, well, trust me, helping Jaeyoon pick out rings is probably the equivalent of getting run over by a truck.”

 

Chanhee snickered into his hand as they got in line. “Are you serious? Jaeyoon finally worked himself up to it?”

 

“ _ I  _ worked him up to it,” Youngkyun clarified. “I swear, I don’t know how Inseong deals with him.”

 

“Inseong is just as chaotic,” Chanhee pointed out, moving up to the counter. “Hi,” he said with a smile to the lady behind the counter. “Can we have one hot caramel macchiato, one hazelnut iced coffee, and one regular coffee with two sugars? Thank you.”

 

“Since when did you start drinking coffee so late in the mornings?” Youngkyun asked with a giggle.

 

“I didn’t. Juho wanted one.”

 

“Okay, well why is Juho so boring with his order?” Youngkyun asked with a laugh. 

 

“Okay, but why does Taeyang have to be so fancy with his hot caramel whatever? Your man is the definition of high standards.”

 

“It’s not even that fancy!” Youngkyun pointed out, moving to the side so other people could order as they waited for their drinks. “You’re just mad because Seokwoo likes hazelnut, and you hate it, so you can’t kiss him,” Youngkyun teased.

 

“I swear he does it on purpose,” Chanhee said with a shake of his head, causing Youngkyun to break out in laughter. 

 

“Here are your coffees,” the girl said, handing Chanhee a cardboard tray with the coffees in it and her number written on the side.

 

“Thanks,” Chanhee said with a nod, turning around and gesturing for Youngkyun to follow him out.

 

“She thinks you’re pretty,” Youngkyun teased.

 

“My man also thinks I’m pretty,” Chanhee defended. “And I’m not a hoe.”

 

Youngkyun smiled, opening the passenger door of his car for Chanhee and climbing into the driver’s seat.

 

“Hey, do you remember back at that private high school we both went to, when Tae brought us out for hanwoo?” Chanhee asked as Youngkyun pulled the seatbelt over his chest.

 

“Uh… a little? I mean, it sounds like something we did,” Youngkyun told him, starting the car and pulling away from the curb.

 

“I think that was the first time I rode in Taeyang’s sports car.”

 

Youngkyun’s mouth fell open at his realization, vaguely remembering the disastrous way Taeyang had driven. 

 

“Now, I think of that and I find it so hard to believe you have such an expensive car like he did back then.”

 

“Because I didn’t go to college,” Youngkyun commented, looking over to Chanhee for a second to see him quickly putting Juho’s coffee back in it’s spot and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Did you even get that for Juho?!” Youngkyun asked with a laugh, gesturing at the coffee which did not look completely full anymore.

 

“Juho can have what’s left of it,” Chanhee defended. “But you don’t have to go to college because you have a fucking sugar daddy!”

 

“I-”

 

“I don’t even want to hear you defend yourself. You sleep together on the regular, and he pays you. That’s a sugar daddy.”

 

“He pays me because I work for him!” Youngkyun retorted. “Not because I sleep with him!” 

 

“Okay, but he bought you the car.”

 

“I bought me the car,” Youngkyun defended.

 

“He helped you pay for the car,” Chanhee corrected.

 

“No, I bought the car with my own money!”

 

“Okay, well then Taeyang definitely chose the car for you, because you would have gone for something like a regular ford,” Chanhee pointed out. 

 

Youngkyun pouted as he sped up the car because he really couldn’t deny that. He had brought Taeyang with him to the dealership, and told the boy to help him pick a nice car, and Taeyang had picked the nicest looking car at the dealership and told Youngkyun he was buying it for him. Youngkyun denied and just bought it himself, but Chanhee was absolutely right. No way in hell would he have ever bought this car on his own decision. 

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes as he pulled into the parking lot of TY Investigations. Youngkyun usually just called it TY for short, but the extra word made it look fancier. Of course, Taeyang had come up with the idea of using their initials. 

 

“Having a company named after you is the definition of privileged,” Chanhee commented, pushing himself out of the car and shutting the door behind him. 

 

“It’s named after  _ both _ of us,” Youngkyun corrected.

 

“Spell out the full name,” Chanhee challenged. “It’s Taeyang Youngkyun Investigations. Your name is in there.”

 

“You’re just mad Taeyang is rich,” Youngkyun teased.

 

“Seokwoo is pretty loaded, too!” Chanhee defended. “I’m not mad Taeyang is rich, I’m mad that he’s making you rich when you _work_ _for him_!” 

 

“Perks of dating your boss,” Youngkyun said with a shrug.

 

“Oh, please,” Chanhee begun with a roll of his eyes as Youngkyun held the door open for him. “I hear you boss Taeyang around more than he bosses you around.”

 

“Because he heeds my advice,” Youngkyun attempted.

 

“No, because you co-own the company even if your name isn’t on the documents,” Chanhee told him, walking up to the lady at the front desk, Sejung, with a smile. Sejung used to go to school with them, actually. She worked at the cafe they used to love so much.

 

“You two are good to go,” she said with a smile. “You don’t need to check in, everyone knows who you are.”

 

“It’s respectful,” Youngkyun countered.

 

“It’s your day off,” Sejung retorted. “And you work here.”

 

“I don’t,” Chanhee stated with a smile.

 

Sejung rolled her eyes with a smile. “You’re here so often I feel like you do.”

 

Chanhee gave her another smile before following Youngkyun into the building, the tray of coffees in one hand while Juho’s coffee was in his other.

 

Youngkyun looked away from Chanhee to see Taeyang walking down the hall with Seokwoo, deep in whatever conversation they were having. Chanhee was too busy drinking Juho’s coffee to notice. 

 

“Yeah, but I’ll need Kyun to complete the forms,” he spoke, his voice echoing in the empty hallway. 

 

“Kyun already completed those forms,” Seokwoo told him.

 

“No, no, the new forms for the Songwol-dong case.”

 

“I don’t want to do more forms,” Youngkyun replied with a pout, causing Chanhee to look up in realization and put Juho’s coffee down.

 

“Oh, you’re here,” Taeyang commented with a smile, walking over with Seokwoo on his heel. “And you brought coffee?”

 

“Chanhee brought coffee,” Youngkyun retorted, moving forward as Taeyang pressed his lips to his for only a brief moment.

 

“Did you drink Juho’s again?” Seokwoo asked with a laugh as he picked up his coffee from the tray.

 

“How often does he come here drinking Juho’s coffee?” Youngkyun asked with a smile as Chanhee denied it with a shake of his head.

 

“I don’t!” Chanhee denied.

 

“At this point, Juho should just learn to get his own coffee,” Seokwoo commented with a shake of his head, leaning down to kiss Chanhee.

 

“His fault,” Chanhee defended.

 

“It’s his fault you drink his coffee?” Seokwoo asked with a laugh, lifting his coffee to his lips.

 

“Yeah. If he drank more disgusting coffee, I wouldn’t drink it all,” Chanhee tried to reason.

 

“Oh, right,” Taeyang said turning to Youngkyun. “You need to go home.”

 

“What forms?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“No. Home.”

 

“Taeyang, what forms?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“It’s supposed to be your day off,” Taeyang reminded him. “Don’t worry about the forms.”

 

“But you’re working, so I should be working.”

 

“It’s your day off,” Taeyang repeated.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “I only needed the day off because of Jaeyoon. But I can work now.”

 

Taeyang rolled his eyes. “Fine. Seokwoo, come on,” Taeyang told him, gesturing with his head.

 

“Can I come?” Chanhee asked with a wide smile.

 

“When don’t you?” Taeyang asked with a roll of his eyes and a smile as he placed his hand on Youngkyun’s back, walking him through the company. “But how did it go with Jaeyoon?”

 

“I managed to get him to get the rings,” he told him with an accomplished smile. “And Inseong had no idea.”

 

“I’m surprised he didn’t back out again,” Seokwoo commented from behind them.

 

Youngkyun turned around to speak over his shoulder. “He almost did!” 

 

“Oh yeah, someone called about a North Korean in Hwacheon again,” Taeyang told him.

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “How many times do we have to tell people we don’t work cases against North Koreans without proof of a crime?” Youngkyun asked with a shake of his head. “I swear to god.”

 

Taeyang shrugged. “Did you want to look into getting this one proper identification documents, too?”

 

Youngkyun shrugged. “It wouldn’t hurt to have someone visit.”

 

“Did you want to send Yongchul?”

 

“Yeah, probably,” Youngkyun agreed. “If these people keep calling about this one, then whoever this is might have a criminal record, or might be a bad person. I’m not giving legal South Korean documents to a North Korean that doesn’t respect our laws,” Youngkyun told him. “I’ll send Yongchul to scope it out tomorrow.”

 

“And you still insist you don’t co-own the company,” Chanhee stated with a snort. 

 

“Really?” Taeyang asked, looking over to him. “Kyun, seriously?”

 

“It’s your company,” Youngkyun told him. “Your name is on the papers.”

 

“Kyun, I can put your name on the papers,” Taeyang said with a laugh and a shake of his head. “Seriously, though? When have I ever given you the impression that you don’t own this company just as much as I do?”

 

“ _ You  _ pay  _ me _ ,” Youngkyun told him. “So I work for you. I don’t own shit.”

 

“You will once I put your name on the papers,” Taeyang mumbled, causing Youngkyun to glare up at him.

 

“Tae! This is your company!”

 

“Ours,” Taeyang corrected with a smile, moving his hand from Youngkyun’s back as he excused himself, running up to Juho as he passed them. 

 

“Oh no, you brought Chanhee,” Juho commented, looking past Taeyang.

 

“And I brought coffee!” Chanhee announced with a smile. 

 

“Oh, yeah? And how much did you drink?” Juho asked, looking from Taeyang to Chanhee, who couldn’t help but shrug in uncertainty.

 

“Did you finish up the case from Myeonmok, yet?” Taeyang asked, walking back over to the group with him.

 

“I was on my way back to my office to finish that up,” Juho told him. “I was filing a few papers for Hongjin.”

 

“Okay, okay, well tell me when you’re done with that case,” Taeyang told him as Juho took his coffee from Chanhee, looking down at it in disgust before looking up to glare at Chanhee. “When you’re done, Youngkyun needs to file the forms for Songwol-dong, so you’ll help him with those.”

 

“I need a review of the Songwol case, too, if you wouldn’t mind,” Youngkyun told him, looking up to Juho with an appreciative smile.

 

“No problem, just let me get those files from Myeonmok done.”

 

“Take your time,” Youngkyun said with a wave as Juho glared one more time at Chanhee and started making his way back to his office again.

 

“He’s a good employee,” Taeyang commented.

 

“He’s one of your best,” Youngkyun told him, gesturing for them to continue walking. 

 

“Our best,” Taeyang corrected. “But nice call. I don’t think I would have hired him.”

 

“I think you would have,” Youngkyun denied, looking to his side and waving Sanghyuk over.

 

“Hey! My pen!” Taeyang called, holding out his hand. Youngkyun looked between the two with furrowed brows as Sanghyuk sighed, digging his hand into his coat pocket and pulling out Taeyang’s pen.

 

“Are you two seriously still playing this game?” Youngkyun asked, gaping at the two.

 

“He knows when, how, and what I steal! I swear he has cameras in his office!” Sanghyuk complained. 

 

“Get better at stealing,” Taeyang told him with a smile, pocketing his pen.

 

“Can you go with Yongchul to Hwacheon tomorrow?” Youngkyun asked.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Sanghyuk said with a shrug. “What are we doing?”

 

“North Korean case,” Taeyang told him.

 

“Oh, no problem. Road trip with Yongchul!” Sanghyuk cheered, bouncing around with a smile. “Can I tell him?”

 

“No, I’m telling him,” Youngkyun said with a shake of his head.

 

“Not if I tell him first,” Sanghyuk teased.

 

“You can try,” Youngkyun challenged, watching Sanghyuk run off with a wink. “Tae, Tae, give me your phone.”

 

“What? Why mine?” Taeyang asked, pulling out his phone and handing it to Youngkyun. 

 

“He answers your calls quicker,” Youngkyun told him, holding the device to his ear while Seokwoo whispered something in Chanhee’s ear.

 

“Yeah, Taeyang?”

 

“Yongchul, you’re going to Hwacheon tomorrow for an illegal North Korean case,” Youngkyun told him quickly.

 

“Oh, seriously? Cool. But why are you on Taeyang’s phone?” Yongchul asked, clearly not at all shocked.

 

“Because you answer his calls faster, which, by the way, what’s up with that?”

 

“He’s my boss, he scares me,” Yongchul explained.

 

Taeyang pulled the phone from Youngkyun’s hand, pulling it to his ear. “Youngkyun is your boss, too!” Taeyang defended. Youngkyun could hear a loud bang from the other end of the call as Sanghyuk’s voice rang throughout the room, leaving Youngkyun and Taeyang trying their best not to laugh. Taeyang ended the call, stuffing his phone in his pocket and turning to Youngkyun. 

 

“I need to bring Seokwoo to my office for papers,” he explained.

 

“And I need to do forms with Juho. I’ll walk Chanhee out first,” he told him, leaning up and pressing his lips against Taeyang’s again. 

 

“Call me if you need anything.”

 

Youngkyun rolled his eyes. “Have fun,” he said, pulling Chanhee’s arm with him after handing him the coffee he had completely forgotten about. 

 

“Hey… Youngkyun,” Chanhee started, looking behind him as the other two disappeared.

 

“Yeah?” Youngkyun asked, looking down to Chanhee.

 

“You and him are a good couple.”

 

Youngkyun smiled, placing his hand on Chanhee’s hair and ruffling it up.

 

“So are you and Seokwoo.”

 

“I’m glad it all turned out like this,” Chanhee admitted.

 

Youngkyun smiled, placing his arm on Chanhee’s shoulders as he walked him towards the door. He was glad it turned out this way, too. He wouldn’t have it any other way.


	44. His Last Dream

Youngkyun smiled around him, like he was waking up after years spent in a dizzy haze. Instantly, his face lit up with a gentle smile as the warm sun shined down on his skin. The air around him felt refreshing, like it was made of just happy emotions. 

 

Youngkyun smiled as he walked forward, stepping over the flowers that littered the ground around him. He liked the blue ones the best, leaning down to let his fingers drift along the petals of them. Pink ones gathered by the bases of the trees, scattering out around the grass. It was so hard to avoid stepping on them all, but Youngkyun really tried his best. He leaned down every now and then, running his fingers through the soft grass and smiling at the sounds of the birds chirping above him.

 

He felt so free, releasing a long, pent up breath as he spun around in the warm sun, just feeling the gentle breeze on his skin like a gentle hug. The leaves shifted above him, dancing in the wind while the sounds of the forest filled his ears.

 

Youngkyun couldn’t think of a better place to be than right where he was.

 

Slowly, Youngkyun lowered himself to the ground, gently leaning his back against a tree as he dragged his fingers gently over the roots. He let his eyes dance across every strand of grass, admiring the way it flowed in the wind he could barely feel, but it was there. 

 

The ground was just a bit cold, and in the distance he could see small patches of snow, barely there anymore as they continued to melt away. Youngkyun admired it, smiling as he let his eyes fall back down to the ground around him.

 

He heard a small shuffling sound in the distance, disregarding it as nothing more than the sounds of the forest, but he could feel the calming sensation it brought, like it was the feeling of his true home.

 

“Hey, Kyun.”

 

Youngkyun looked up slowly, letting his eyes meet the ones which sparkled back at him, reflecting the sun’s light in the most beautiful way Youngkyun had ever seen. And as he saw that beautiful smile, he finally understood what it felt like to be truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl I might actually cry I can't believe this is really the end of We Fall Together. Like seriously it's been since... what? Over half a year ago at least since I began posting chapters to this. Ahh I just can't believe it's really finished.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who read this fic, and thank you so much for supporting it and, for those who left comments or showed support for me, for being inspirations to me to continue writing. This was only my second fic, but I plan to have many more <3 
> 
> Thank you for supporting me, my writing, and this fic from its start to its end. It means a lot to me that all of you decided to take the time to read this, and I hope it was a good (mind the angst) experience for everyone! So really, I just want to keep saying thank you to everyone who read this it really means a lot to me. Every hit and kudo and comment on this fic means the world to me, so thank you thank you thank you for reading until now! And thank you for giving me a platform to share my story on! 
> 
> And that would be... The End.

**Author's Note:**

> I will update this fic every Wednesday, and some days in between! I hope you guys enjoy it! Thank you for reading, and I love hearing feedback!


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